#im pretty sure ive got something

[larrythefloridaman]

WOAH, HE'S BIGENDER? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!

#hey. hey. im just saying. he LITERALLY 'transed his gender' in a diagetic bit in orange. and if that wasnt enough. #in blue he disguised himself as squid jenny specifically with larry's powers (the only thing hes done with them on screen) #got caught by his god-assigned roles-obsessed caretaker. and was given the label of being something intrinsically unescapably deceitful. #while 'pretending' to be trans girl. #like. if i wasnt pretty sure it was all an accident i might even call the allegory here slightly heavy-handed. #with the nccts emphasizing a theme of 'youre not just what people say you are #you can be more than one thing at the same time' with crim #i think crimson can have boygirl swag. some bigender pizzazz. i think he deserves it. #is it REALLY a cpu kerfuffle arc without a subversive narratively relevant gender-transing. #am i supposed to believe the spirit of deviance himself is cis? get fucking real. grow up. /silly #also a lil crimtoinette in there. just for flavor. because i cant help myself. #also sidenote the nccts have given him this cute lil tendency #to tip his hat down to hide his face when hes trying to be Genuine or Thoughtful or Poignant. and i enjoy that little touch #i maybe like this guy a little too much. hes most of what ive drawn for months. #but what do you want from me. i read him as a queercoded villain deconstructed at the metanarrative level. #am i just supposed to be normal about that. #me and zia talked about this in dms and discovered. we came to a lot of the same conclusions. completely independently. lmao

[todayisafridaynight]

yk in retrospect it really is no surprise that rgg has a lot of queer fans. outside of the games being utterly homosexual of course

#snap chats #sorry i finally finished reading the second volume of yakuza's bias #GREAT manga i cant recommend it enough im already crying waiting for the third one to be translated #i got a stroke when the manga mentioned.. those like. ai-chat character things #like christ i know this is a new series and the japanese version was released in january but my GOD this is still topical #anyway let me. get to my point LMAO #because while i was reading there was a speech given by My Main Man that ive noticed is. p common in yakuza media #yk a speech about how the only people who'll give them (yakuza) worth is themselves #and that they'll forever be casted out by society so their passion is the only thing to turn to and live for. something like that #and of COURSE i remember a similar sentiment from The Clan Heir Is A Trans Woman #and listen..... organized crime is very different from being queer. im pretty sure dont quote me on that-- #HOWEVER when you have messages like that being thrown left and right... yeah its no wonder LMAO #of course its not note-for-note and the contexts are VERY different LMAO but yk what i mean #its like that one post talking abut monsters and monsterfucking being queer or something #dont listen to me i only go here on legality but i think im onto something #ok bye im gonna stare at my ceiling until i pass out. i wanna start working on my dummy comic but alas... #too busy with comms this week... AND im sleepy...

[druidberries]

hihi! i've started a sideblog (@mixdberries) where I'll be posting other games !! it's still being set up and there's literally like one post on it rn but give if a follow if you feel like it 🥺

#druidberryspeaks #i plan to post stardew and anch for sure #and like #pretty much any other games i play #im always playing something so it'll be fun to share whatever it may be !! #i was so proud of the name #bc its a blog for mixed games... #but then mixedberries was taken 😭 #its okay its still cute #anyway im posting this late i'll reblog it tomorrow ok cya ive got gaming to do 😁

[solcarow]

orv adaption announcements …………..

#good goddddddd im gonna be Such a hater about them i can feel it in my bones o(~< #i could handle a shitty live action bc im sure thats what han sooyoung would have wanted but . a Shitty Animated Show ? #i dont think my heart could take it ….. #but i really really hope that wont b the case bc they can do some great stuff with it #IVE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT !!!! IMAGINE THE SOUNDTRACK ………. YOU COULD GO CRAZY WITH LEITMOTIFS… .. #imo orv isnt a story that needs visuals but it could work so well with audio ………. #translating the image of bleeding stories into whispers oughhghhgh #i wonder how adaptions could approach the ambiguity between lines spoken by kim dokja and the 4th wall ………. #it’s something that’s pretty hard to convey with audio so maybe they’ll keep it silent in the audiovisual adaptions #maybe with keyboard sounds …….. oooh thatd be so cool #but i feel like the voice the reader gives the 4th wall adds another layer to it does that make sense #pretty tricky to figure out how to translate the 4th wall outside of a medium with just text #solar-talks #god i hope they do something interesting with the starstream filter on dokja bc ill b honest i didnt like how when the webtoon got to #jihye’s scene in dark castle they just smacked sparkles on him and left it at that #ok i reread it in case i got it wrong but unfortunately . yeah . those arent eyebags you gotta make him look NORMALLER fuck offff !!!!!!!!! #i know they would never do this but it would be so fucking sick if they just moved around the features of kdj’s face ever so slightly to #give him some uncanny valley vibes #i want it so bad for the live action but i know they dont see my vision orz #they dont have to end up being Exactly how i’d imagine them im just begging the adaptions to make the best use of a different medium #put some Thought into it even ..

[kithj]

decent video covering the work of kitty horrorshow. for the most part he just goes through each game and relays the plot, but it is interesting to see them all laid out together, how they are similar and how her work has evolved and the common themes that she keeps revisiting in each one. his analysis mainly focuses on the Places that she explores in her games; the environments, the haunted houses, and how they are all "built wrong." he talks about haunting of hill house, house of leaves, myhouse.wad, vivarium, and a few other movies towards the end.

my own ramblings about some of the games under the cut :-)

one thing i've always projected onto haunted houses, and especially some of the hostile, haunted places prevalent in kitty horrorshow's work, is a trans narrative *everyone pretends to be shocked*

sagan does mention this briefly in the video, and he admits that it's not his personal interpretation that he plans to talk about (which is totally fine) but that is very obviously there, these themes of autonomy and transformation in these works all go hand in hand with gender identity, with the trans/nb experience.

so when people talk about a house being "built wrong" it always reminds me of the trans narrative of "born in the wrong body." i know this isn't necessarily a mindset a lot of people still agree with anymore now that our language around being trans has evolved, but i also know there are some people that do still feel this way regardless, and even if we don't completely consider ourselves "born in the wrong body" i think the majority of us do have a very... contentious relationship with our bodies.

i always see a house that is intent on haunting you as a body that is inhospitable.

we see people in kitty horrorshow's work that try and change the world around them, or failing that, that literally change themselves. in rain, house, eternity, the structure we've been traversing is someone who has broken free of her physical form and been reborn into something that she chose for herself, after her community forced her down a path that she did not want. sagan brings this up again at the end of his analysis, where he talks about the way the environment is molded by the player as well as the way the player is molded by the environment. he mentions the movie vivarium, and how people are forced into these littles boxes (ie the nuclear family, gender roles, preconceived stereotypes, etc), whether they want it or not, by their environment and the societal expectations that are a part of that.

but again, the environment can also be molded by the player; it is influenced by the characters within the narrative. the environment grows flesh and teeth and has a heartbeat and i like this idea that our environment is alive and is also flesh and blood that can be reflected back at us. it could be cathartic or horrifying depending on how you feel about your body, about your experiences, about how society perceives you. in the end we can become the structure, we can change ourselves and become our environment, undefinable and infinite, or we can be restricted by it, and forced into something we don't want-- made inhospitable.

there is both a lack of agency in the house being built, but a reclamation in the haunting as someone or something transitions and fills the empty rooms with a new form. stone to flesh or flesh to stone as it is in rain, house, eternity, or drywall to glitches and blood like in anatomy. inhospitable but at least it's mine.

in 000000FF0000, the game itself doesn't even want to be found. it's a living thing that's hidden itself away and is in great pain. it's restricted by its own code, it longs for the seasons and the sea but it can only think about the cages it's been locked in. the only agency it finds is in shutting itself down after the player reaches a certain point. we are forced to be perceived by others, by society, even when we are in pain, even when we aren't really ourselves, due to how we look, how we were born, or whatever other cages society has put us in. the lack of autonomy, the lack of control in our own creation... this game is actually one of the ones that have stuck with me the most, i think it's extremely well executed and impactful and is possibly her second best behind anatomy.

and then there's circadia-- the girl returning to her childhood home, seeing her childhood and memories and her body reflected back at her in this house. wanting to hurt it, feeling trapped by it and how she used to be. the people there that don't really see her as she is now, the trauma literally in the walls. she laments her apartment, missing it "like a lover" because that's the place she carved out for herself versus this house she was forced into, this house that's always there and always waiting for her to come back even though she clearly never wants to come back.

when you're trans, there are always people trying to get you to "come back," to be like you used to be. looking back at yourself, childhood photos and old memories of when people treated you differently. your body a new space now but there are still the bones of that old house you left behind. the world trying to force you back into the house even if it doesn't fit anymore, even if it's painful, even if all you can do is haunt it.... the code in 000000FF0000 confining the game to exist in one way even though it hurts them, no other option but to bury themselves deep in various folders within your computer and hoping to never be found. hiding from the world because there are people that insist these things are hardcoded into your biology, that predetermine how you have to live and there is no other way for you to live. and if you go against that code it breaks the game for them... does that make sense?

and in rain, house, eternity, she demolishes the house and turns herself into stone, she finds autonomy despite what the game wants and what the world wants. indefinable and infinite because there is no binary and the walls of this house are your house to destroy and rebuild as many times as you want in any way that you want.

i definitely recommend kitty horrorshow's work if you've never played any of her games before. she's most well known for anatomy, which i didn't really touch on because it's so popular (for good reason) she does have a few twine games, hornets and wolfgirls in love, and then circadia is just a 5 page flash-fiction. and of course i also super recommend rain, house, eternity, and 000000FF0000. i already linked her itch page up there but here it is again! check her out.

#fellow kitty h. o7 #wow sorry i got annoying under the cut lmfao #stopped abt halfway cus anatomy is pretty well covered at this point and with the haunted cities collections #i'd like to play more of them myself #anyways im sure someone has made this analysis before but its not something ive seen myself #idk the idea of a house being alive and trapped and unable to change and haunting its occupants.... #it feels. familiar. sometimes i feel like im haunting myself #this problem i have where my body is not me #maybe houses feel like that too. you know? #lmfao <- throwing that in to make this less serious teehee #video #dare i put this in the IF tag? sure why not #interactive fiction #games

[hella1975]

assigning a character the highest honour like *adds go home by julien baker to their playlist*

#and by honour i mean pointing at them like TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED! #like yeah relating to this song is a red flag actually. yeah it's one of the most personal songs in the world to me #and i actively am not allowed to listen to it some days bc it makes me significantly worse #even if im in a GOOD mood because of the layers upon layers of emotions ive associated with it #yeah i literally wont even blorbo post to this song even if it's accurate to a character because it's so personal #so they have to be REALLY FUCKING SPECIAL AND FUCKED IN THE HEAD to get this honour. enter touya #i made him a playlist im going crazy like yeah actually of course i was always gonna be weird about him #like he's got fire themes. he's got body horror. he just wanted to be good. he's ethel cain coded. he's georgia coded #he's got mommy AND daddy AND sibling issues. he's the only other character ive let even come close to mary on a cross #he's a waiting room girlie. he's an archer girlie. im tearing my hair the fuck out of my scalp #why does the first character ive latched onto this hard since CHUUYA have to be from mha of all things #like that's embarassing for me im embarassed to be here. and yet #touya todoroki #the thing that makes me sick about touya is yes the abuse he went through via his quirk and his dad etc etc #but also bc sekota peak happened when he was 13 right? and he's 24 now? that's 11 years unaccounted for #like ik it's confirmed his burns put him in a coma for 3 years and all for one and the dr guy just stapled his stubborn self together #which is something else i will YELL MY HEAD OFF ABOUT WHAT THE FUCKKKKK HE WAS A CHILD STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT #but im pretty sure it's confirmed that after 3 years he goes off again on his own? which still leaves him as a teenager? #like he straight up burns himself alive at 13 wakes up at 16 and reappears at 24 with dyed hair and piercings and a bad attitude #and im not supposed to wonder? or get upset? like i absolutely am leaning into the 'he was on the streets' angle bc i hate myself #and that's devastating and also what alternative is there logically like he has NOTHING #no home no money no name that he can feasibly use not even an appearance that will warrant anything but more cruelty #so youve got this child on the streets with injuries that absolutely cause insane amounts of pain daily he's literally STAPLED together #and he's completely alone and the only thing getting him through is this growing hatred and rage #like id set all my plans around killing the guy that put me there too actually just to fucking get me out of bed in the morning #I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. WHERE WAS HE FOR THE PAST DECADE. HORIKOSHI PLEASE #I WANNA GO HOME IM SICK THERES MORE WHISKEY THAN BLOOD IN MY VEINS MORE TAR THAN AIR IN MY LUNGS #PIERCE MY SKIN NEEDLES TO WORN OUT RAGS THE FOLDS IN MY ARMS THE SICKENING BLACK AND I HAVENT BEEN TAKING MY MEDS #I KNOW MY BODY IS JUST DIRTY CLOTHES IM TIRED OF WASHING MY HANDS GOD I WANT TO GO HOME

[the-yearning-astronaut]

.

#☉ #already getting stress induced nose bleeds again lmao #bro's not even back in the house yet but him and dad were going at it tonight #yelling at each other in the kitchen and i could hear them from my room in the basement #im so tired of it all #especially since my mom and i get to listen to them bitch about each other afterwards #before he moves back in im setting a firm boundary: unless i ask about something specifically *i don't want to hear about it* #ive hit minute 22 with this nose bleed now #i thought it was gonna be a short one (10-15 mins) but nooooo #i can feel it getting worse #based off my experience last summer im pretty sure that if i could just.... #get out of this fuckin house #80% of my health problems will improve on their own #since all of them are triggered/aggravated by stress #too bad im fuckin stuck here for the foreseeable future #tbd #edit: 25 mins in and i think it's stopped for the time being... #i can hear my dad bitching about my brother to my mom rn while she's trying to get ready for bed #because she just got home with working her second job #and has to be up in 7hrs for her first one 😭 #i want to yell at him to shut up or yell at my mom to tell him to shut up #neither of us will do such things tho #and so it goes

[yooniesim]

why do i see people talking bad about you? i don’t understand

baby, it's simblr. it's full of people scared shitless to say anything to your face while your name stays in their mouth for years on end. I got people i never even met or interacted with obsessed with me, cos I just got that much impact apparently. every so often I hear about this shit and ignore em like the insignificant flies they are, but they keep on trying for some reason. I even get people regularly in my inbox saying they came to check me out cos they saw some bitter weirdos drop my name, and they're staying cos they like my stuff lol. so I just consider it free advertisement 😂

don't pay it any mind, love. I sure don't. Ya see someone talking shit sneakily? keep in mind it says more about them than it does me. most of them are just mad I called them out on their shit eating ways (bigotry, scamming, etc) in the past, to the point where the hurt still lingers in em to this very day. that's why they never give a reason or actual proof for why they don't like me, it's always vague shit talk and lies. I don't get involved in all that anymore, just kinda focus on actual sims content now, cos I realized 70% of this community care more about who's friends with who than actual issues. So now I just keep doing my thing, protecting my peace, and being satisfied that it burns their lil asses up there's not a thing they can do to stop me.

#asks #anonymous #ceci speaks #gif warning #negative #i got stalkers upon stalkers man #im pretty sure a few of em got crushes #not that i can blame them #but it is kinda weird to never think about somebody in months upon months #and then someone sends a screenshot to ur inbox of them talking about u #ill be honest... it really fluffs my ego #it's bordering on inappropriate at this point 😂 #im gonna say this too #if u see someone mention my name negatively #theres a 90% chance theres a screenshot in my inbox of them behaving inappropriately #or they did something highly inappropriate in the past #if i ever decide to leave simblr i will light their asses up with em #but for now ive made this a more peaceful positive place #and that means staying away from drama #even if it would be extremely satisfying

[faithdragon36]

Okay I may be very late to the party of drawing dl!pearl but in my defense. There were so many designs I couldn’t just pick one…

#mcyt #pearlescentmoon #double life pearl #dl Tilly #artists on tumblr #36.art #also im pretty sure this warrants some kind of eye trauma tag but im not sure what exactly #so. feel free to come tell me if I need something #just tryin my best out here =^= its all ive got

[echo-s-land]

It's insane how most of the time I don't get how ppl interact and I also Don't Fucking Care

#vent ig #i wish i could #but unfortunately i havent had the occasion of sharing one of my interest with you in the past three months and when i did it didnt go as i #wanted and now we're supposed to talk through smalltalks except i dont know how to do those so im awkward as hell and unconsciously cut the #short and now im being hated (?) even tho that wasnt my intent #but i guess no matter how trustful i am i just look like a liar #and i cant even bring myself to care bc how am i supposed to explain myself when youre convinced what i say is a lie #we werent even supposed to be this close so sorry if im stiff. i tried to get along but i just cant #the never ending circle between 'i want to have ppl to interact with being alone to experience this world is exhausting and dreadful' and #'im not even remotely interested by any of you' #its different on tumblr bc i can curate my own experience & nobody comes @ me when i dont interact with them for days or weeks (BC IVE GOT #NOTHING TO SAY) and its okay and its normal and we dont have to do the 'hi how are you wyd' script every single time (sure we can check up #on each other once in a while but it doesnt become a script. it feels genuine.) #anyway. im so normal. i can def care about ppl that have never been as insane as me about something we both love(d at some point) #am pretty sure i developed 'i perceived you saying/thinking One(1) bad thing about me and now i dont care at all about your existence' as #a child as a coping mechanism but goddammit i feel like an asshole everytime it happened #i hate feeling apathetic #and i hate lying too so i cant just say shit to reassure them when i dont mean them #cant tell them im sorry about how my behavior is perceived when im so damn tired and would rather they disappear of my life

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

I've come to the conclusion that when it comes to new characters I have the same attitude as a poorly socialized dog. I swear every time new content comes around and we get the news of new characters my instant reaction is to just. Dislike them. Hope they have little to no importance in the plot. Even when the design looks nice and the characters seem interesting. They're taking screen time away from my faves and my heart tells me to Bite

#this isnt even about the Thing. Its about Astrid #that cool and interesting looking old lady #(im assuming thats her name its what ive seen people use) #Im pretty sure there's something ot be said about my autism here #i dont want things to change. I dont want to risk the show taking a turn for the worse and becoming Insane #if it were up to me #s2 would have just been a reprise of s2 while focusing on different things #and s3 would be a reprise of s2 #which means ofc that the show wouldn't be nearly as compelling as it is. that' why i trust the writers #but at the same time I HAAAAAATE CHANGE #I think the longer hiatuses contribute to this. I am given time to adjust to what can be considered canon and then BOOM #rug pulled from under me with only like 2 months of antecedence. #and I have to be prepared to let go of my headcanons and my current views of this world and its characters #and to accept that these new faces they're throwing at us will be just as important as the ones I already know and love #like I WANT to be spoiler free but at the same time I gotta prepare myself for what's coming #bc otherwise I'm gonna get the air knoked out of me fr #cons of letting a show take over 60% of your brain #turns to the other 40%: at least I've got you. you'll never change or abandon me #*the Cells look at me uninpressed and tell me to get a job* #hilda the series #hilda s3

[thestarofcottonland]

i need perfume blogs to follow im lacking enrichment it has become my dominant personality trait >_< and the fragrantica forums are too dry like im still in there every day but the old biddies get mad at you for asking about slutty scents . like dont tell me they dont exist ladies

#im not sure if the posts got taken down but twice ive seen a woman actively requesting whorish fragrances and always someones in there like #mods!!! shes using anti-feminist language!!! like leave her alone. i dont care if something i like gets called whoreish. frankly i have - #- wanted to project such an image at some point and i think thats pretty common. posts got plenty traction anyway #anyway im 👌 this close to going on tiktok if i cant integrate myself in tumblr perfume community soon. not to post just to observe #squeaks

[munch-mumbles]

ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on

#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other #meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20 #tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are #few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is #get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?' #and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went #on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.) #etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves #like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more #chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already #nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them #up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t #finish my sentence #and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves #so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me #then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear #and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning #during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the #door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh? #and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her #why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking #basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore #cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come #back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open #ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me #GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan #im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just #gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean #im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other #LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!

[side-of-honey]

Are you gonna keep making content for imaginary friends?

Nope!

#Ive pretty much fallen out of omori at this point #Which isnt to say that ill never make omori content again #Theres still some fanfic fanart stuff i might finish and ofc luck swap #Plus who knows i might get back into omori at some point #But imaginary friends specifically was a big part of why i fell out of omori tbh #It got way bigger than i expected and just became way too overwhelming #plus what happened on reddit REALLY upset me =_= #Thank you everyone for the support! I really am flattered that people would be interested in my au!! But it was never meant to be that big #of a thing and im sure you can understand why i’d get burned out ^^; #Maybe ill work up the courage to make a final post about the imaginary friends ideas i never got to and some art i never finished #But im kinda scared of it blowing up again -w-; idk if thats like. A prideful thing to think or something #Plus i dont want ppl following me thinking im still gonna be posting omori and then get disappointed #Anyways. If you read all that uh thanks ig? Have a cookie 🍪 #Annd if youre a fan of IF im really sorry TwT

[coldresolve]

ehhh fuck. is this necessary?

1.

if we used to be mutuals and i unfollowed you, here's what might have happened:

your interests shifted

my interests shifted

our interests are the same, but you're also posting a lot of things i really don't want to see alongside it (ex. bdsm/sexual content, or in another case, graphic pics of sh, which is something i have a history with)

no matter what, since i'm tryna curate my own dash to things i want to see, i unfollowed. this doesn't mean i suddenly have a problem with you specifically. it's not that deep. we're good, i promise

2.

despite making several posts telling people not to DM me, i kept getting 5+ DMs from different people a month, sometimes more. because of that, i've set my DMs to 'following only'. the schizoid guy prefers having some distance to people, go figure. this is just what i'm comfortable with, it's a me-thing, i don't know what to tell you

3.

this might be relevant, it might not be, i'm not sure and i can't really bring myself to care. but if, perchance, you have a problem with me, say it directly. weird vibes and silent treatment? sure, okay. i don't have the capacity right now to speak in riddles or decipher vague passive agressive clues. i can't read minds. fucking communicate, please. otherwise i'm gonna assume it's all good

#this isnt just directed at one person. tho u did trigger it lol #but ive got a handful of people im pretty sure are playing the same sorta games. hence the public vagueposting #like. fucking just tell me if something i did rubbed you the wrong way and we'll take it from there. dont just assume im unreachable #other

[queer-crusader]

.

#tw period #im so sick and fucking tired of this shit #like. im not even in extreme pain! im at low-to-medium level discomfort that comes in waves all day #but that's the PRELUDE. my period hasn't even officially started yet #and i don't know what this means. idk if this means i'll be slammed as if by a fucking freight train tomorrow if i don't take my meds #i think it will bc that's becoming the norm. light periods are quickly disappearing or few and far between #im so tired #(doesn't help that i didn't get enough sleep last night but still) #and i feel that while my periods are pretty brutal they're not the level i see people with diagnosed endometriosis speak of #i've got meds that pretty much suppress the majority of it leaving me with just an undercurrent hum of pain #which is a fucking blessing btw bc without them i would be almost unable to function on day 1 and 2 #so im like well ive got something that works and it's easily available drugstore medication so surely it can't be THAT level of bad #like. it's bad. but it's not [insert chronic illness] right? #i just don't fucking know. all i know is that this sucks and it happens every month and im uncomfortable to go on hormones and just. #it fucking sucks. #i remember when my periods felt the way im feeling right now (as im yet to start bleeding) and it scares me #idk if it'll get worse but it sure ain't great already #anne speaks