#im so bitter about it i literally walked out cause the guy talked too much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sicjimin · 3 years

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Hi! If you're taking request I have one :) Yoongi with a really high fever but doesnt tell anyone and almost passes out during dance practice which worries the others

A.N : aaahh im sorry this taking too long T.T i hope you like this one & meets with your expectation! the idea is so .. interesting i love it!!, and sorry for the lame ending ......... T.T

TW : slight emeto, fainting

Yoongi knows his body was about to give up when he had already been sleep-deprived for the past 3 days, and in addition to that, their concept photos yesterday was involving contact with water and in the middle of winter wind. But he didn't expect that his body will give up in a literal meaning , and in the middle of dance practice, which causes panic from the members as they hovering over him.

Let's retract back —

Yoongi wakes up this morning, already acknowledge that he had a fever latching on him when he's still shivering under his blanket when the air conditioner is off. His assumptions are proven true when the world is tilting the moment he tries to get up and walk to the bathroom, his muscles feel achy, and the wooden floor becomes too cold for his feet. He half-conscious walking to the bathroom, freshens his pale face before rummaging the thickest hoodie he had, and go down to the kitchen where the rest of the members already clattering loudly. The first thing Yoongi sees is Jimin, who's currently putting the coffee pot on.

"You look like shit." Seokjin comments as Yoongi glares at him through half-opened eyes which are barely visible with his blurred sleepy eyes. "I feel like shit", he mumbled as he shoves down few bites of toast that Seokjin prepared, gulped down his daily iced americano before walk away and settled on the couch, resting his already exhausted body for a few minutes before they need to go.

Someone plopped beside him, but the mild thumping on his head didn't let him to open his eyes. That's too much effort. "Hyung are you okay? You look pale"

Yoongi only hums as an answer, letting silence seeped between them before he huffs a warm breathe and stands up as he heard Namjoon calling them to go. He ruffles Jungkook's hair, "I'm fine. a little bit tired" before he walks behind the other.

It's Jungkook.

It's 2 PM now, he has one hour before he needs to get up for dance practice. He let himself succumbing the sickness in his body, his teeth clattering as he trying his best to cover himself with a padded jacket and curled his body smaller in the darkness of his studio. The medicine took longer to kick in. He didn't know how long it had had already been since he's tossing and turning on the couch until someone knocking on his door, calling him that its time for practice.

The rest of the day went like a blur for Yoongi as he's too busy fighting his body to not completely shut down. He managed to go through some interviews as scheduled, downing a bowl of porridge that he requested to the staff as lunch with rice is way too heavy for his upset stomach and bitter tongue, take some medicine, and working few parts of the track before his head spinning.

Two knocks

One knock

Yoongi still didn't have it in him to get up. Then he heard the passcode ringing in and the door opened. He groans when the light blazing over his head for a minute before someone that barging into his studio quickly apologize and turning it off again.

Three knocks

"Yoongi-ah! What's wrong? Are you sick?", Yoongi didn't manage to answer any of that train of questions before a cold palm touching his burning forehead. He unconsciously whines when it goes away. It feels nice. " Oh my god, you're burning up!!"

"Hyung", Yoongi rasps, few coughs slipping as he tried to sit up. Seokjin quickly offered him water from his table. " Gosh, Yoongi. You're sick! Why are you even here? Let's go home!", Seokjin tugging his hand, while his other hands start collecting Yoongi's belonging. "Hyung .. i already took meds. Let's go to practice. I will go home with you guys after that"

Seokjin stops turn to Yoongi and give him a stern look. "What if your fever gets worse?" Seokjin asks, voice firm. "No, it wont hyung.. Please don't worry.. let's just go with the others to practice". Seokjin sigh, before reluctantly nodded.

They both headed out, Seokjin hands firm on Yoongi's shoulder as he is afraid the younger might trip on his feet if he let it go. They are greeted with the loud sound of music blaring echoes the room, he could see the other already do some stretching. Yoongi huff, before he drags himself to do the same. " Are you sure you can practice?", Seokjin asks once again. His eyes still trailed over the younger with worry. Yoongi nods, pushing his masks higher so the others couldn't see his pale feature. "Just, don't tell the others hyung. I don't want them to worry", he murmured. Seokjin didn't answer, but settled to stretching beside him.

The first round of practice went well, despite the aching in his muscle and thumping in his head getting worse, Yoongi manages to do it. He ducked his head down, almost groans in pain as he pants for air. It hurts.

"Water?", Yoongi opened his bleary eyes and meet with Seokjin's red face that also panting, with cold water on his hand. Yoongi gratefully accepts, sighing in relief when the liquid seeping down on his throat. "How are you doing?", Seokjin asks, gaining a shrug from the younger, " At least i'm sweating"

Seokjin rolled his eyes, " Don't force yourself"

"I won't"

In the second round of their practice, everything went downhill for Yoongi. He feels faint with every step he takes to dance. Every time he tries to move his legs he feels like it’s going to fail him and collapse underneath him. He can feel all the blood leaving his body as he moves. Not to mention how it's getting hard for him to catch his breath, the thumping in his head gets more prominent, almost lapping with the blaring sound of music. He didn't know when exactly he stopped on his feet, stared blankly on the floor that starts spinning under his feet . The whole room was now spinning around him, the lights seem to have faded out of focus, only a black hole was staring right through his eye. His sight slowly blurring, vision getting blurry. His breathing becoming heavier, he tries not to fall on his feet or knees but fails miserably. He doesn't know which one of the members screaming his name before it all goes black.

—

When Yoongi came back into consciousness, there was a throbbing pain on his head that made him want to groan in pain. He was feeling dizzy from the movement and could barely open his eyes. His ears felt numb, it sounded muffled but he tried to listen to them. What they were saying.

"Hyung!" A voice says. Yoongi flinches and tries to turn his head away, the loud ringing in his ears makes him nauseous. It hurt so bad.

"Hyung! Are you okay?!" Another voice comes and this time he tries to open his eyes, blinking at first, until he can see properly and get his bearings. Yoongi sits up, immediately leaning against something for support and then falls again. He can feel hands on his shoulder, supporting him.

"Hyung?! Hyung what happened? Do you need help?" A third voice. Yoongi doesn't want to look at who it is, he doesn't think he can stand without falling again and he isn't about to risk that. So he lies there, resting his head on the wall behind him.

"Dizzy .. " Yoongi mumbles to himself. Someone touches his cheek, gently moving his hair out of the way. With a hand on his forehead, checking temperature, Yoongi flinches and instinctively leans away from the touch.

"Min Yoongi what did i told you! Gosh, your fever getting worse", Seokjin exclaims. Yoongi heard everyone else talking again, with Seokjin shouting something about getting home. He didn't know. He wants to sleep.

" Yoongi, don't sleep. Can you move for me? We're going home", Seokjin asks, panic clear in his voice. He nods, then he feels himself being lifted up by the arms. He manages to open one eye just enough to make out the blurry shape of the surrounding, as he drags himself out, leaning most of his weight to Seokjin that holding him. Walks to the car feel way longer than Yoongi liking. Nausea that settled deep in his stomach now become worse as his inside jostles with every step he takes.

"Hyung", he croaked out, " Can we stop? i feel sick"

Before he knows, he already lurches forward along with his breakfast and his lunch earlier, soiling the green bushes under his feet. His throat burns, his eyes sting with tears, a burning sensation on his tongue. "Shh Yoongi.. it's okay. Everything is fine. Let it all out," Seokjin said, soothingly, though he did seem concerned. Yoongi can barely see through the tears streaming down his face. He squeezes his eyes shut when another stream of his stomach content gurgling up and rushing from his lips. His mouth was dry, but he could only focus on making sure that nothing would come up his throat, "I think I'm done", he rasped out weakly, not caring if it came out scratchy or wet.

He woke in the morning with a groggy feeling, feeling much better than yesterday had. When he rolled over, he saw 6 others figure scattering on his and Seokjin's room, with Seokjin sleeping on his side. He tried to shift his position when something wet fall over his forehead, a damp cloth. " Hyung? You're awake?", Hoseok raspy voice seeping through Yoongi's ears. He watched the younger yawn and stretch his body before plopping himself beside him.

The ride back felt like hours, even Yoongi spent most of it with sleeping. Once they got home, he stumbled into his room, falling face first onto his bed and letting himself finally fall asleep before he could hear any more of Seokjin trying to coax him into eating anything.

" Yeah I am", Yoongi managed, still feeling groggy, " Why are you here, isn't everyone have schedule today?"

"They come rushing yesterday and didn't want to leave you until you wake up, they said", Seokjin rasps as he collects himself.

"Yeah, you're scaring us hyung, and Seokjin hyung completely ignored us when we ask! So we just crashed here", Hoseok whines, " Are you feeling better?"

Yoongi bites off smile that wants to erupt from his lips, "I guess? not as shit as yesterday", he mumbled, almost yelps when a cool hand touching his forehead out of nowhere.

"At least your fever already breaking down", Seokjin hums before stand up, slapping Hoseok lightly on its way, "Wake up the others, i will make Yoongi something to eat"

#bts sickfic #tw emeto #tw vomit #sick!yoongi #caretaker!seokjin

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brelione · 4 years

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Wish I Was Sarah PT.1(Kiara Carrera X Reader)

Kiara had first met you 3rd of December.You had been at a party,a christmas party to be specific.You were a kook which meant your parents forced you to go to all the big mansion parties all the time.All of the big ones were there,Sarah Cameron,Topper Thornton,Rafe Cameron,Kiara Carrera.All of them.

You had worn a sweater over a simple t shirt,too lazy to put on a dress like all the others.Your parents were just glad that you had agreed to make an appearance even if you looked like shit.You had sat in the corner of the couch,earbuds in.You were listening to Sweater Weather,thinking it was funny because you were,in fact,wearing a sweater.

Kiara had stood at the snack table for a while,holding a disgusting monstrosity of a cookie,debating on picking off the sprinkles and throwing them away.She had never really been a fan of sprinkles.She had glanced around the crowds,the moms talking as they ate cheese cubes,the dads talking as they drank beers and wine,the other teens probably getting high up in the bathroom.Then her eyes fell on you.

She felt her face heat up immediately,staring at you for a while.You were underdressed for the occasion,your earbuds in as you sat curled up on the couch,seeming tired of being there.She debated herself in her head,trying to decide whether to approach you or not.Eventually she gave in,walking across the room with fake confidence,sitting down next to you.She watched as you tensed up,your eyes going wide,your bottom lip between your teeth,wondering what she wanted.

You pulled out an earbud,looking up at the beautiful girl that had decided to sit next to you of all places. “Hey.”She smiled,holding out her hand to you. “Im Kiara.”She introduced herself.You pulled out your other earbud,a small grin on your face. “Hi.Im (Y/N).”You shook her hand,feeling your face heat up a bit. “So um….yeah.What song were you listening to?”She asked,trying not to laugh at how dumb she sounded.You showed her your phone,finding yourself moving closer to her on the couch. “You like Frozen ll a lot.”She laughed,watching you scroll through the playlist.

You nodded,handing her an earbud to make her listen to Lost In The Woods. “Ive never seen Frozen ll.”She admitted,watching as your jaw dropped and your eyes widened. “Kiara!Oh my god-whats wrong with you?”Your voice became higher as you talked,your hand covering your mouth.She laughed at you,shrugging. “Wait,have you seen the first one?”You asked.She nodded,watching as a look of relief came across your face. “Okay,did you like it?”You asked.She shrugged once again,smiling at your enthusiasm.

“The second one is better I promise.”You answered.She rolled her eyes,leaning back against the couch. “Im serious!The soundtrack,the animation everything is so much better!”You exclaimed,shaking your phone as you spoke.She nodded. “Yeah,whatever you say.”She replied,watching as you tried to convince her. “You have to watch it!Please?”You pouted.She nodded,making you clap your hands in excitement as you went into your disney plus app.She watched as you scrolled through the movies,a big grin on your face because you had easily defeated her.

“Its so cold in here.Who puts air conditioning on in december?”She complained out loud.You handed her your phone for a moment,not hesitating to pull off your sweater and hand it to her. “That’s pretty warm.”You told her,not really thinking about it.Her face turned red,biting her bottom lip as she held back a smile.

She had originally regretted her wardrobe choice of a green dress,the fabric light and flowy,her arms exposed which caused goosebumps to rise across her caramel skin.She didnt regret it now though as she pulled on your sweater,the warm fabric making the goosebumps go away.Her heart was thumping as you moved incredibly close to her,handing her an earbud and holding your phone in front of the two of you.

As you reached the point of Into The Unknown it was announced that dinner was ready,ham,turkey,potatoes,corn,rolls,pretty much everything imaginable.It disgusted you that you all had a feast of expensive,high quality food while people in The Cut were lucky to have a meal a day.The adults called the other teens downstairs for the meal and you promised Kiara that you’d finish watching it after.You two decided to sit next to eachother at the table,your sweater still on her.

She offered it back to you,saying that she didnt want to get food on it but you told her that it was fine and that it looked better on her anyways. “So the movie...what do you think about it so far?”You had asked softly as Kelce and Topper came down the stairs. “Its good.Its good,like you said,better than the first for sure.”She nodded,eyebrows furrowing when she noticed your eyes falling away from her and towards someone walking down the stairs.Sarah fucking Cameron.The blonde was wearing a nice,light grey dress that looked amazing on her figure,her hair in pretty braids.

Kiara saw the look in your eyes,the way they were full of wonder,mesmorized by Sarah Cameron.She felt like dying,like being eaten up by a black hole as she wondered how she could be so stupid.She had thought that maybe you were interested in her but it was probably because she had been the only girl there.Now that Sarah was here she would be lucky if she could get your attention back again.

“So what do you think of the theory about Elsa?”She asked,glaring at Sarah.Your face heated up,taking your eyes off of the pretty blonde and back to Kiara. “What theory?”You asked,glancing over at Sarah every couple of moments.Kiara tried to hide her anger,covering it with a small grin. “The one about her being a lesbian.What do you think of it?”She asked,trying to learn more about you and if she even had a chance.You bit your lip,looking over at the plate of biscuits.

“I mean,I think at this point we all just want representation in disney and in like,media in general but I dont think Elsa is a lesbian.I feel like she might be aromantic or maybe...well,I dont really know.There’s nothing-well,you know she actual might be a lesbian,”You paused,leaning forward to grab a biscuit and put it on your plate.

“There’s this one scene in Frozen ll,ill point it out to you that has like vibes to it.But then again just because she doesnt have a male love interest doesnt exactly mean she’s a lesbian.Moana and Merida didnt have guys that they were in love with but that doesnt mean they’re lesbians.Merida might be a lesbian,have you seen how good she is in nature and cooking fish in the wild?And how she knew those berries were poison?Thats some cottage core lesbian shit.What was I talking about?”you asked,realising you had gotten caught up in the topic and had forgotten the original question.

Kiara smiled,glad to hear you speak so passionately about something. “If Elsa is a lesbian.”She held back a laugh,watching as the realisation came across your face. “Right,so the answer is yes but also no but also yes.Like at least fifty percent yes but also no but im 1000% confident in Merida being a lesbian.”You confirmed,cutting open your biscuit.She nodded,trying to think of a new topic before she lost your attention again. “So the whole thing of people shipping Else with Jack Frost.What do you think of that?”She asked,laughing when your fists slapped down in your lap,gaining the attention of Rafe and Sarah.

“Dude literally it makes no sense!Jack Frost isnt even disney!Like the only reason anyone ever shipped them was because they have the same powers but Jack is like 300 years old and hes like...energetic and giggly and child-like and immature and she would get so annoyed so quick!She’s introverted and serious and of course theres nothing wrong with that but she gets like too embarrassed too fast and I cant see them ever getting together or even being friends.Like,Merida is most definitely a lesbian but if they’re gonna ship Jack with anyone it should be her!Their personalities are so similar.”You huffed,biting into a half of your biscuit.

She nodded,grabbing a scoop of mashed potatoes and putting it onto her plate. “Yeah,definitely.So who is your favorite disney princess?”She asked,sending a bitter glare towards Sarah.Sarah had been staring at you during your passionate speech,filtering out the other voices to listen to you.She found you fascinating,intriguing.She was trying to figure out why she didnt know you or if you were new to the island.You glanced her way,smirking to yourself when you saw her blush. “Um...I dont think I have a favorite.They’re all powerful and wonderful in their own ways and they all have pretty cool stories.Except Pocahontas,I hate that they romanticize colonization and in reality she was like ten and he was in his late twenties.The soundtrack was great though.”You shrugged,taking a sip of root beer.

She nodded,listening in to what the old folks were talking about.There were more people outside who had opted to take plates of food out there.Kiara wouldve preferred to go outside but it was colder out there and she hadnt been prepared.Her mother was looking at her from across the table but Kiara couldnt care less,too busy searching for your parents. “Hey,(Y/N)?”She asked quietly,getting your attention off of your biscuit. “Where are your parents?”She asked.You shrugged,getting your own scoop of mashed potatoes. “I think they’re outside.I dunno.”You answered.She nodded,continuing to eat,sending a glare towards Sarah every couple of moments.

“Eat faster so we can finish the movie.”You told her,not thinking about it as you spoke.She smiled,hurrying to eat. “Wait,why dont we just go outside and watch it?”She suggested.You bit your cheek,trying to figure out why you hadnt thought of that.You nodded,standing up and picking up your root beer,balancing it on your plate and walking out of the house,Kiara close behind you. “Where are we going?”She asked.You grinned,careful as you walked down the hill. “I know a spot.”You answered,walking across the sand of the beach.

You had explored pretty much all spots of the beach and had found your favorite one,a cave behind a wall of rocks that you had personalized.You walked towards the rock wall,slipping through the crack. “What is this place?”She asked,still following you.You smiled,turning on your phone flash light so you could see the lantern that you had put in there,turning it on.Her face lit up,looking around the cave.Pillows,sheets,blankets,pretty curtains hanging from the walls,a bin of paints so you could paint the rocks. “Thats such a good question.I really dont know how it got here,I just went through the crack one day and kind of just found it.”You shrugged,sitting down in the pile of pillows and patting the spot next to you.She sat down,shifting so she was as close to you as possible,leaning her head against your shoulder to test the waters.You pulled the earbuds from you phone,turning up the volume of the movie.

@poguestyleskye @jjtheangel @balanceofgray @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian

If you’d like to be tagged in all future JJ imagines/headcannons/series comment with a heart,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Pope imagines/headcannons/series comment with a smiling face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Rafe imagines/headcannons/series comment with a frowning face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Kiara imagines/headcannons/series comment with a question mark and if you’d like to be tagged in all future Sarah Cameron imagines/headcannons/series comment with a plus sign.If you’d like to be tagged in all Kelce content coment with a “>” and if youd like to be tagged in all Topper content comment with a “%”.Or if thats too complicated you can just comment whose name you’d like to be tagged in.

#kiara carrera #kiara x reader #obx kiara #kiara carrera x you #kiara carrera imagine #kiara carrera headcanon #kiara carrera series #sarah cameron #sarah cameron x reader #sarah cameron imagine #sarah cameron x you #obx sarah

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

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pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned.

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why.

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases.

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one.

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time.

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly.

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp comte #can you feel me going through 800 different emotions in the course of writing this #fucking hell #he absolutely kills me i love him so much #would do ANYTHING for him #if you listen v closely you can hear the soft sound of me grabbing tissues #god i was just rewatching some of his events and i just #THE SHEER WARMTH OF HIS PRESENCE HOW IT WASHES OVER YOU WHILE READING #IM SHAKING AND CRYING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like leo is just one of those routes where its like 'my life was before and after this moment'#otome is honestly destroying my standards OTL #he just makes me feel So Much my coherence disappears #brain cells???? don't know her only Leo tiddy #in conclusion: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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jbsonelesslonleygirl · 3 years

Text

yellow - ushijima wakatoshi

Do you know For you I'd bleed myself dry AN: im sad so heres an angst piece

Warnings: sad , mentions of NSFW

Summary: you were purple and he was yellow. you were never meant to be so you had to let go.

Song: Yellow - Coldplay

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Ushijima Wakatoshi was undoubtedly the most amazing volleyball player youve ever met. He was also the kindest most honest man you ever met. He was also a 3rd year and you were a 1st year manager. He never really spoke to you unless he was saying thank you for something. You had decided to admire from afar.

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And everything you do

He seemed like the type of guy to be hyperaware of his peers but he was quite the opposite. Semi had to point out how your stare would linger on him a little longer or how when he said a simple “thanks” you would get all flustered. Ushijima had now suddenly noticed everything you did. From the way you would pat Semis head when he would greet you at the door to how your toungue stuck out when you were focused.And oh my god the way your hips moved when you walked and how when you got excited you jumped on the balls of your feet causing your tits to bounce or your ass depending on which way you were facing. Damn were you hot for a 1st year.

Yeah, they were all yellow I came along I wrote a song for you And all the things you do And it was called, "Yellow"

Next thing you know he wants you to help him after everyone else left. All he had said was “he had a slight problem” so you being madly in love with the tall man you know literally nothing about said a simple yes.

So then I took my turn Oh, what a thing to have done And it was all yellow

Now here you were walking from the gym. And with your luck you would run into Tendou. He noticed the slight limp and look of bliss plastered on your face. He didnt say anything though. He knows his place. But he knows his bestfriend even better. “poor f/n” he thought. He knew where this was going and he just hopes it was a one time thing.

Your skin Oh yeah, your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful You know You know I love you so You know I love you so

You “helping” Wakatoshi soon became a regular occurance much to Tendous dismay. He straight up told Ushijima to end things before someone got hurt to which the ace simply said “no.”

You knew you should have kept agreeing, You knew he was bad for you. But he was Ushijima Wakatoshi one of the most caring and honest people youve ever met. So when he had told you he loved you , you believed him. This is what love is...right? You loved him and he loved you. But if he loved you why were you a secret? How come you couldnt hold hands in public or talk to him during practice? Why couldnt you go on dates? Oh! He said he didnt really want to deal with other people prying into his life. He has to worry about volleyball and hes constantly bombarded with questions and interviews. He also said he didnt want you to be stressed because of that stuff too. How sweet of him.

I swam across I jumped across for you Oh, what a thing to do 'Cause you were all yellow

One day as you were leaving Ushijima and yours special “spot” you ran into Goshiki. He instantly started to bombard you with questions. “Why are you walking funny?” “Why does your voice sound so strained?” “Are you sick?” you felt overwhelmed. Until Ushijima walked out of your spot, “Thank god Toshi can explain we were “hanging out” That was until Ushijima froze and instantly asked what Goshiki was doing there. And when he tried to explain himself Ushijima cut him off by saying if he ever told anyone you were with him he would- He was cut off by your sniffling. You honestly hadnt even noticed you were crying until Toshi was at your side asking why you were crying.

I drew a line

I drew a line for you

Oh, what a thing to do And it was all yellow

Why were you even crying? Toshi loved you and you loved him. Goshiki was your friend but Toshi did want nobody to know so he had to tell Goshiki to not tell any- “Are you embarassed of me Toshi? Am I not good enough? I dont care about what others will say. I love you and you love me. Thats all we need.”

Silence had surrounded the area. No one moved for 15 solid seconds that felt like 4 years. Until Ushijima had spoke up “I dont wish to be in a real relationship with you.” and suddenly that straight forwardness that you found so sweet was bitter. “what?” your voice was small. You guys loved eachother why wouldnt he want a relationship. You let him be your first kiss,first time,first boyfriend. But wait didnt he just say he didnt want to be in a relationship? So that means hes your...”fuckbuddy?” you whispered out. Goshiki was long gone by now, wanting to be as far away from here as possible.

Your skin Oh yeah your skin and bones Turn into something beautiful

Ushijima had asked what you said and you only looked up at him with tears in your eyes and anger in your broken heart.

“ Do you know for you I'd bleed myself dry?” You had managed to say through all the emotions filling your body.

“F/n....” he said trailing off towards the end. He felt guilty. He shouldve listened to Tendou.

“ For you I'd bleed myself dry!” you had yelled out slamming your fist on his chest to which he stumbled backwards a bit. Every emotion spilling from you.

He saw the pain in your eyes and he knew he fucked up. He knew this was his fault.

It's true Look how they shine for you Look how they shine for you Look how they shine for Look how they shine for you Look how they shine for you Look how they shine

“You Ushijima Wakatoshi are the worst man to ever walk on this planet. But oh my god,I cant help but love you. Whats wrong with me? I knew we wouldnt last. Youre meant to become a star Toshi. Youre meant for big things.”

He heard the pain in your voice and he wanted to throw up from the guilt. How could you admit you still loved him after this? How could you say those nice things?

And with that you looked at him one last time with tears in your eyes and bowed saying “I will see you at practice tomorrow Ushijima-Senpai.” and left and he was there with everything that was supposed to be for the person who truly loved you. And he wished he could give it all back.

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1 year later

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As you looked over to the small TV in your dorm watching the volleyball game with your roommate you felt tears well in your eyes as you saw how well he was doing. You knew he was gonna be a star one day.

Look at the stars Look how they shine for you And all the things that you do

#Ushijuma x Reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu angst

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demon-winchester · 3 years

Text

Tremors Behind The Veil Chapter 6

-Chapter 6- I entered the subway station... I did my research and apparently the safehouse was quite a bit closer using the subway than just walking. I finally reached the place but the door was nowhere to be found...A blank wall with some latin inscribed to it "Invented ad guy quis nulla" and I ran it through a translate app, it meant "to the guy who invented zero". What could she mean by that...I guess I can't ask her but maybe Lydia can provide me some insight.

I started dialing up the numbers. "Well hello, that was fast" she answered her phone. "Yeah... I ran into a problem and maybe your unlimited brilliance can help me" I replied. "Oh, you're making me blush....Don't be sarcastic just tell me what you need help with" she said and i could imagine her smiling from the tone of her voice. "Alright so, does the sentence "To the guy who invented zero" mean anything to you?" I continued. "Ummmmm I can't say it does" she answered confused. "Nothing at all?" i kept asking. "Well no genius it's literally a random sentence for me" she chuckled. "Alrighty then, well, thanks for nothing" and as i said that a door started appearing and I started laughing. "What happened?" Lydia asked. "This bitch used a pun to keep her entrance shut....To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing." i answered basically on the floor laughing about the situation and i was CERTAIN that Lydia was rolling her eyes. "Okay, I will have to let you go now, I have some research I need to do...maybe we'll talk later" I continued. "Alright, ciao" she said and we closed the call. Now then...time to find Touch, Lien HQ and Red Tiger. After a couple of hours of research I came to a conclusion...Finding a shapeshifter would be really time draining, demons sound like a tough foe at this time so vampires it is. I'll sleep for a couple of hours and then time to head to Touch! I set up an alarm for three hours, I put on some music *Wasteland by Neoni starts playing*, I laid down on the couch and i started drifting away. I suddenly woke up in a strange city.

There was nobody around me, it felt desolated, the buildings were almost destroyed and the place was covered with sand...it reminded me of the desert i thought. I looked around and I saw a woman standing behind me. It was Circe, the dream version of her. I approached. "I guess your help is needed again"she smiled. "We need to start meeting under better circumstances" i smirked. "That is quite true Aiden" she answered, "I believe you chose Touch....That was quite the decision, Sylvia will tell you what you need to know and it's time for you to leave i believe" she concluded and the alarm started ringing. I got up, I took a bath and i started getting ready. Black boots,black jeans,dark red shirt,grey jacket,earrings, rings, chain and i was ready to go. Suddenly the phone started ringing and it was Lydia. "Hey, watch up" i said answering the phone. "Sup dude, what is your superhero ass doing" she said snarkily. "Oh shut up" I replied "Just getting ready to go to a club". "Ohhh spicy...I didnt know the job description had partying" she said. "Yeah of course.... You know i hate these places, you dont have to be an ass about it" I said laughing it off. "So tell me, how come you go then?" she asked. "I mean, i am still searching for Circe..plus i need my sword back if I am to have a chance." i answered. "Okay wait for me, im coming with you" she said. "Oh stay where you are love, you aint coming with me, shit could get really bad really fast" i said to her with a watchfull tone. "And that's exactly why i'm coming, you need support from a friend when shit gets down" she pridfully replied. "No offence but if something bad happens the only friend i need is a fucking nuke so sorry not sorry, you're staying where you are" i said. "You know how much i hate you sometimes don't you?" she complained. "Well let me prove you otherwise, let's say i owe you a coffee..how does that sound?" I teased her. "Just that?...No deal, you still suck" she chuckled. "A coffee aaaand i'll have you on comms while i go to the club...i could really use a friend on a sucky place" i said wih a small smile. "It's Saturday night and you think i'll stand by on comms and keep you company?.... You are absolutely right" she replied and i could almost see her smile. "Fantastic just an fyi though, since it's kind of undercover i won't be able to answer you every time...just so you wont get worried"i said. "Alright" she replied. It was time to go. "Let's find Sylvia" i thought to myself while passing by the bouncer and he didn't seem amused. I was walking down the corridor, it was like a small tunnel leading to the entrance. The walls had some kind of fur, people leaning on them, some laughing, some puking, some staring. Purple and pink lamps lit the whole place and they made it feel like a fever dream. "These are going to be a bitch to walk through while drunk" I uttered silently. Following the music i arrived to the main room opening the doors.The room was gigantic. Glass panels were on the roof, cages with dancers inside them and a door on the other side of the room,the boss's room I thought. People were dancing, drinking and having fun... these places were never my kind of thing. I sat on the bar and I ordered a red wine. " A wine on a club....either a meeting or you're just boring" said the barwoman handing me my glass. "Maybe both, maybe neither" i said taking a sip. "So tell me what else do you do except pouring drinks and judging people darling." I continued. "ohhh the barwoman....spicy" Lydia said through the comms. "A man being just a bit of an asshole and not a full fledged one, a rare kind these days but nevertheless don't try hitting on the barwoman, you never know what she'll pour on your drink kid" said the barwoman with a wink. "I dont mix bussiness with pleasure unfortunately" i said. "Are you sure unfortunately is the right word?" the barwoman said interrupting me. "Ouchhh ruthless but i'll let it pass. Tell me though, do you know a woman called Sylvia? I heard she's running this place" i continued. "And who wants to talk to her?" said the barwoman. "Circe" I replied. "You don't really seem like a Circe but you do you, i'll go get her for you" the barwoman said smiling and she started leaving. " So, is hitting on the barwoman part of the undercover mission?" Lydia said. "Well no but if you form a small connection with a person, even someone who doesnt know your name, they are more likely to help you." i answered taking a sip of the wine. "I am so fucking sure you drank a bit of wine after saying that just too feel smart" Lydia said annoyed and I almost chocked from laughing. "Okay shhhhh i think she's coming" i said wiping wine of my face. "Oh you sir are not Circe" said the woman.

"Hello. sorry for using this name but i need to talk to you...somewhere more privately" i said in an apologetic tone. "Haha, no" she groaned. "Im sorry, what?" i asked. "What you just heard. You think you can barge in here and use her name?!" she said. With that she extended her arm, she hit me on my chest and I was now put up against the wall with the drinks. You could hear the shattering of the bottles and the whole place smelled of expensive vodka. I tried to move her hand but she was still keeping me there. She started hitting me again and again. "Why" was all I could mutter through the hits. "Why?!?!?!" she asked angry. "You barge in my club uninvited and you refer to yourself as Circe. You degenerate, you should've known what using this name in here would've caused you! ". She dropped me down and I could hear Lydia talking worried through the comms. "And who is your little friend talking to you." Sylvia continued. She took the Bluetooth out of my ear and she continued hitting me. "You leave her out of this" I screamed and she started laughing while kicking me in the face. "You dare talk to me like that inside my own domain you filth! I am the queen of the vampires and when I talk you bow! Now it's time to find your friend...." she said. I couldn't let this happen. I summoned my armor, I was still wounded wearing it but I had no choice. "Ugh, i never liked reapers... I knew that horrid musk was coming from you, I could smell you before you entered." she groaned. "Ohhh and I just had a bath before coming here... I'm gonna write a strongly worded email to the shampoo company" I said spilling while blood and looking at her with a smile. "We have a witty one today...They tend to taste a bit bitter. So you think you're funny?" she said. "What can I say, a jester fit for a queen" I continued with a stupid grin. And with that she kicked me on the stomach, at this point I could taste my own blood. "You'll show respect when I talk to you!" she yelled and she continued hitting me. "I'll break you tonight and I'll wipe that stupid smile off your face even if I have to sew your mouth shut" she continued with an evil grin. She grabbed me by the neck and she held me up."TURN OFF THE MUSIC" she yelled, silence befell the room and everyone was looking at her "THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO ANYONE WHO DISRESPECTS ME!" she screamed and you could see all the people saying "yes miss" with fangs in their mouths. I walked right into a nest. Circe had told me that but I thought normal humans would be among them.How many people are actually Accursed..... Suddenly one of the bouncers opened the doors, wounded and horror itself swam throughout his eyes. A black whip emerged from behind him, wrapping him and dragging him right before our eyes... His screams suddenly stopped.

#fantasy #dark fantasy #darkfantasy #dark fic #dark #supernatural #fanfiction #fanfic #book #fiction #books #writing #writers

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voidselfshipp · 3 years

Text

La Mala Vida

Summary: medic finds out that living forever might be less of a hussle,and that maybe this century is worth saving.

Pt 2 here bcs Tumblr wont let me

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡

Life.

What do we do with it?people say it is what we want it to be, that the time we have to choose is limited because we dont live forever.

Josef would not agree with that statement.

Hes been living since the 18th Century, and after all these years everything seemed the same.

Its a rainy Day on teufort, why was someone like him still in there? After all the memories he had there.

He didnt quite now, maybe because its residents were quite literally Led poisoned idiots and nobody would suspect a thing from him.

--that would be five dollars Sir-- the Cashier said giving him the newspaper.

The german Man scowled and handed him the money taking it.

'Back in my zime zhe newspaper vas vay cheaper...' he thought.

He then goes to the nearby café, catching his reflection on the windowpane of said café.

He still looked quite handsome for a Man that is centuries old,he lived through Many things and yet there he was, alive and well.

He then sits against the Window minding his own bussines waiting to be attended.

He was so concentrated in the news that he didnt noticed the people that came in and out.

Nor the music playing.

But then, he looks up at the entrance, his face cant help but to contorn in a smile.

The newest generation has been quite of his interest as of lately.

The was something about zentenialls he couldnt quite put his finger on that caused him interest.

A generation that coped with problems with self depreciating humor, yet being able to form a revolution in the span of months in one single app,but also having the biggest of hearts for those in need.

'Siamo condannati alla brutta vida

Quería decirle, bambino

Que usted está trayéndose un flow bandido

Su secreto está guardao aquí conmigo

Sabe, yo respeto pero nunca olvido

Tarde, siempre tarde yo lo siento (wuh)

Les molesta todo lo que rondo

Devoluciones, no caigo en eso

Estoy buscándome yo los pesos, uh

Yo no quería que caiga preso (wow)

Regalito a la mamá, par de billes (par de billes)

Pa que se lo goce y de mí no se olvide (no se olvide)

Y la herida llevo aquí (llevo)

Dime tú si me vas a amar'

The lively music seemed to contrast with the calm ambience of the place.

Jerico pulls down the hood of her hoodie, she looks around for a place to sit, and goes to a far quiet corner of the place.

She sits down putting her bag close to her.

Her ears catch the melody playing and a homesick smile appears on her face tapping her feet to the rythm .

'La mala vida que me persigue

Los tiempos están cambiando y nosotros también

La calle está ardiendo, guiándome

Ni olvido ni perdón a lo que fuiste ayer

Mala vida que me persigue

Mala vida que no puedo salir

Mala vida que me persigue

Mala, mala

Fuck mala vida, mala, mala

Quería más de mí, pero no le di nada

Estamos nasty, curtiendo strada (strada)

Rompiendo tarima como si nada'

She was mouthing the lyrics of the song while softly rocking her body to it.

Medic catched a glimpse of this and smiled.

Finally they go and take his order, then the girls and the waiter dissapears behind the bar.

Jeris glance meets Josefs, she smiles and then goes down to her phone, a hand that was used as a rest for her cheek.

'Lo hacemos igual gore

Tenemos el peso en el pecho

Y aunque duela adentro, lo hacemos igual por los tiempos

Tiempos buenos, tiempo al fin

Tiempos malos que perdí (wuh)

Fuckin' mala vida, te escupo la face

Acuérdate de mí cuando me veas, no compro fake

Los fuckin' vis a vis me tienen maldecí

Estoy maldecía, no puedo salir

Regalito a la mamá, par de billes (par de billes)

Pa que se lo goce y de mí no se olvide (no se olvide)

Y la herida llevo aquí (llevo)'

He then looked back at his own stuff, the music, altough not his favourite was starting to get to him, and so his foot unintentionally started to tap following the beat of the song.

Now he wasnt the type of guy to dwell on his past, he only cared about defying modern science, well he did bring back a Man to life.

Good times.

He sighs, that smile that some found unnerving seemed to have warmed a little bit, the years were softening Him up.

Tough he feels someone watching him, his head turns to find the girl drawing on a piece of paper, what exactly? He couldnt tell.

Until her emerald green eyes met his, her cheeks flushed and looked away with a expression that screamed 'I hope the floor swallows me and never spits me again'.

He chuckled, and a side of him felt quite honored.

Maybe hed ask her for the drawing.

he drank his coffee and read the newspaper,the bitter taste of it wasnt as much of a kick in the mouth, they used to make them stronger too.

Meanwhile jerico couldnt help but dwell on her own problems while she waited.

The cold weather was rather relaxing to her, the cold and rain were always a comfort.

Though there wasnt much to do than wait right now, but shed find a way to entretain herself.

The café was too calm for her,way too calm.

But that is what happends when you used to live in a constant chaos, calm things seemed dangerous, a part of her really enjoyed this.

She sighs being absolutely bored out of her mind.

Her eyes look at the drawing that was just besides her.

Drawing that guy was fun, and the hairstyle did suit him well.

Her leg starts to bounce as she feels a familiar feel on her chest.

Maybe she should give it to him.

Or was it creepy? Did he even wanted it?

--miss heres your tea, and your pastries--the waiter said putting things down from the trail on the table--Anything else?

She shakes her head,the waiter asks her if she would want anything else, she says no.

She ends up paying her things and then enjoying them.

At least like that she doesnt have to go through the process of talking to anyone else than that waiter.

As she drinks though,Someone sits infront of her.

'Cant drink my tea in peace....' when she looks up however she jumps a bit on her Seat.

--Hallo-- the same Man she drew said-- I couldnt help but notice zhat jou vere drawing me,can I see?

The Man had his newspaper rolled under his arm, a huge smile and a coffee on his hand.

His accent, was rather cute, she thought.

--su sure!--Jerico smiles handing him the paper.

The Man looks at the drawing, and then smiles.

--Vould jou look at zhat! joure an true artist! Great job

Her chest warms and a huge grin appears on her face, her hands grip the tea cardboard Cup--thank you very much!

--Mind if I keep it?

--not at all!, I was hoping to give it to you actually,just didnt know if youd like it

--Are jou kidding? Of course id love zo! Oh wait im so stupid, I should pay jou for it ! Jour skills shouldnt be wasted.

As soon as he extends his hand with the Money jerico softly pushes it back.

Her hand had paint stains, yet the skin was soft and they were warm.

--No no please

--i insist!

--Take it as a gift Will you?

He then puts the money away, and nodds-- ah yes,jour generation is good at convincing people, plus good at arguing okay, I Vill keep my money,oh im josef by zhe vay...and zhanks

He extends his hand and she shakes it.

--Jerico

-- vhat a lovely name,vell I should get going , rain is going to get vorse and its a long valk home...lovely zalking vith jou jerico!

Jer smiles -- it was nice to talk to you too

Josef takes the drawing a leaves.

She just sits there, what just happened???

Thats enough interaction for today.

When she finished she grabbed her things and Walked home, the rain poured without mercy, she should have brought an umbrella.

She puts on her headphones and walks faster to the bus stop.

That of course had no FUCKING roof.

luckily the music drowned out the pesky conversation that a guy who obviously didnt know how to take a hint tried to start.

'Fuckin' mala vida, te escupo la face

Acuérdate de mí cuando me veas, no compro fake

Los fuckin' vis a vis me tienen maldecí

Estoy maldecía, no puedo salir

Regalito a la mamá, par de billes (par de billes)

Pa que se lo goce y de mí no se olvide (no se olvide)

Y la herida llevo aquí (llevo)

La mala vida que me persigue (yeah yeah yeah)

Los tiempos están cambiando y nosotros también

La calle está ardiendo, guiándome

Ni olvido ni perdón a lo que fuiste ayer

Mala vida que me persigue

Mala vida que no puedo salir

Mala vida que me persigue

Mala, mala

Está cayéndome lo que nunca te dije yo

Estoy creyendo que los buenos son los malos'

As soon as the music ended she no longer felt the water falling on her , she looks up.

Josef.

He held the umbrella close to her.

--Hi-- she sheepishly said taking off her headphones.

--Hallo frau,vaiting fot zhe bus I see?

--Yeah, thanks for the umbrella though...should have brought one with me...but didnt...

Both share a giggle.

#f/o community #f/o #romantic f/o #f/o x s/i #self shipping #my f/os #self ship #self insert #f/o fic #❣he (literally) stole my heart❣

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evelynsfics · 3 years

Text

The calm before the storm.

A nornal day in Liyue, right? Wrong. Childe's the reason we can't have nice things >:(

Ayame walked through Liyue, humming a lighthearted tune that drifted off in the morning wind.

It was a rather slow day, and she wished she could have spent the entirety of it in her bed, asleep. After the last emergency commission she took the previous day, she felt rather tired, but mora is mora, and she could never pass up so much of it.

Sure, fighting a few rogue ruin hunters was tiring, but she'd been through far worse. A little sleep deprivation wasn't going to do anything horrible to her anyway.

In her hands, she was holding a letter, or rather, a commission she got from the adventurer's guild. It wasn't anything too exciting, but it paid, and Mora was tight for Ayame.

She missed the days when she could go out and get something fancy to eat. Usually, it was right after a dangerous mission that could have very well cost her her life, but commissions like those paid a hefty amount of coin, so she never minded the danger all that much. It was fun, it paid well, and usually it kept her from getting bored half to death.

After all, you can't get bored when you always have to be on guard and extremely careful with every movement you make in case someone is following you, or you know, there are ruin hunters nearby that seem to be itching for a fight.

I mean, they can't really ich since, nevermind, im sure you get what i mean.

But since she didn't have that kind of money to toss around at the moment, she just had to get by by either collecting ingredients she found out in the wild while on a journey, or buy them from that shop next to the teleporter.

Second life, was it?

She was never good with remembering names, of any kind.

Ayame was never the best cook. She could make a few of the easier dishes sure, but that didn't mean they would taste amazing. Somehow, someway, she manages to burn even water, and that's worrying to say the least.

Careful not to trip on the strairs, she began walking with the slightly torn paper in her hand. By that point, she knew Liyue well enough where she didn't really need a map to get around, but considering her awful tendency of getting lost literally everywhere she went because she couldn't follow directions for the life of her, she made sure to keep a small, worn out map in her pocket, just to be sure.

She was tracing the paths on her map, trying to figure out which one would take her to her destination the fastest. This mission would last about two, or maybe three days, so, she had to make sure she had an escape plan ready.

If she was out up in some mountain or stranded in some tiny island out in god knows where, no one would come help her, and even if they did, it would probably be too late by the time they actually get there. So, Ayame, being the paranoid person she is, made sure to always have an escape route at the ready in case something went wrong and she had to make a run for it.

Those times where few, she knew she could count them on one hand, but she never spoke of them. Even when she got so drunk she talked about everything she could think of, like stories she heard while traveling around, myths and legends of far away lands, a few cooking recipes that didn't really make sense, and hell, even how annoying a guy named Dell was.

Apparently, she met him in a tavern somewhere, and he wouldn't stop bothering her, so Ayame, like the sane, logical person she is, cursed him so every time he annoyed her, or you know, talk to her, he'd fall asleep for a few moments, just enough for Ayame to leave.

That happened for about two out of the seven days she stayed there, and after she left... she uh, never whent back to that tavern, or that town in general.

The sun was high up in the sky, it's rays warm and gentle, a beautiful, soft gold color, one Ayame really loved. Few clouds drifted peacefully, but those too soon left. Lost in her thoughts, Ayame didn't hear the footsteps coming closer and closer to her until a hand on her shoulder caused her to slighty turn her head to the side in order to see who it was.

"Hm?"

It took her a second, but she recognized the person pretty quickly for being fast asleep just a few minutes ago.

"Oh hey Childe, what's up?"

She yawned, clearly missing her bed and her soft pillow and comfy blanket and-

Ahem.

"Tired?"

He asked, and Ayame could clearly hear the teasing tone he hopelessly tried to hide.

"It's 8 in the morning on a sunday, what did you expect me to be?"

She looked sleepy, her hair was a bit messier than usual and the bags under her eyes a tad darker, tiny details childe quickly picked up on.

"Oh? Then why are you up, then?"

He smiled at her, clearly looking for an opportunity to ruin her day.

"You've been breathing down my neck for the past 5 minutes. I'm sure you've already figured out why."

She flashed a tired smirk at him, earning a small chuckle from the tall man in return.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, Ayame's eyes moving from whatever caught her attention one second, to the next the other. Still, with her gaze focused on a pretty blue butterfly, and away from him, she spoke again.

"Hey don't you have like, literally anything else to do? Or are you going to follow me around all day?"

"Oh come on! I just want to help you out!"

Childe defended himself, or well, tried to. Either way the mood was pretty light, friendly jabs and jokes here and there, never getting too bitter or hurtful, but still extremely annoying.

"Oh? Is that so?"

The pale girl asked, her hair swaying in the light breeze.

"Hm? You don't believe me?"

"No, not really."

"And why's that?"

"You see, i want to reduce the possibility of me ending up with an arrow through my chest as much as possible, and having you follow me around kind of..."

She paused for a second, looking him dead in the eye with a smile.

"Doesn't help out my plan."

She saw a small flash of shock and maybe...something else appear in Childe's eyes, but as soon as it came it was long gone, not even leaving a single trace behind of its short lived existence.

And that's when she knew her words got to him. Yeah, he tried to hide it, but he wasn't fast enough, and now, Ayame thanked the heavens for making her get up, because today sure was gonna be fun.

He smiled after a long second, turning to fully face Ayame. She looked up at him, ocean blue eyes met bored brown ones and in that second, it almost felt as if Ayame was challenging him.

"Give me one good reason as to why i should let you come with me, and i will."

She smirked again, but this time it was clear on her face that she was enjoying this.

#genshin impact #childe #genshin #genshin impact oc #genshin impact childe #gi childe

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lordseochangbin · 4 years

Text

i wish it rained every saturday

a/n: lee felix angst + fluff. haha i love fefe, not proofread

for @0325stay ,, almost based on the cute guy that works at my local starbucks that ive literally never talked to sksk

“remember y/n, you can only write ONE WORD on the coffee order? no ‘girl with ugly pants’ or ‘cute boy thats comes every saturday when it rains”. thats just stupid’”

“that’s literally all you ally, now shut up. i actually write THEIR NAME on THEIR ORDER like youre supposed to” you closed the door to the coffee grains and passed ally, giving her a little shove to credit her obnoxious behavior.

ally rolled her eyes, about to grab your shoulders on the spot before the bell rang near the entrance. thats right, it was saturday.. and it was raining. you felt a sudden pressure applied to your arms before you found yourself on the floor

“hi this is lordseochangbin’s coffee room [i hate how i implemented my user but i didn't feel like making up a name], how can i help you?” ally straightened her apron, giving a quick “don’t you dare fuck this up for me” look before diverting her attention back to the blonde boy.

he was pretty, you had to admit. freckles spotted on his cheeks like a pretty dalmatian, you couldn't help but the count them all as if he were yours. but of course, it was a never ending count and the time to hand over a coffee to his table and say “here your coffee! -insert fake ass smile here-” was not enough to comply.

and how could you not notice that jawline? from the floor captured a good angle of his, and for a second you despised the insects on the wooden ground that you forgot to sweep earlier for they had rights to simply look up and see what others may call the sun. but as this all processed through you brain you noticed it wasn’t the ants looking at him- it was him looking at you.

“yeah i think i’ll get that” he nodded to quickly reassure himself. he smiled without his teeth, his lips forming a sideways line. kinda like that one emoji. “also.. are you okay?” he pointed to you.

ally raised her eyebrows in shock before turning to see you on the floor “oh yeah shes-”

“im fine” you got up, brushing your knees off of the dust “thanks for asking”. you shot him a quick smile, quickly returned by himself before he could say, “no problem, and dont make it to ‘cute boy that comes every saturday when it rains’, some people actually read that you know?”

you almost bursted in laughter as the boy walked away. leather jacket, black ripped jeans, and black doc martins. he seemed like the boy of your dreams, and now that you had experienced a bitter taste of his personality you liked it. not to the point like black roast but, somewhat sweet like vanilla. you loved it.

ally threw the small sized cup to you, the name tag unfilled and order still remaining. “chop chop!! get that coffee making, im gonna go apply some perfume and when i get back have that ready so i can give it to him”

you rolled your eyes at ally, “fine” you muttered under your breath before turning on the coffee grinder, staring outside the window at the pouring rain

you noticed felix as well, staring outside with his wireless headphones in his ears. his lips pursed, and you could tell he was humming a really good song or just really thirsty.

after making the coffee you realized ally was probably doing her makeup as well, and as a few minutes passed by you assumed she may have been doing her hair. but the poor boy looked like he couldn’t wait any longer, so you picked up the coffee before realizing it had no name on it.

with a marker in your hand, you’d realized he never really told you what to put. nor what to call him. he just told you what you shouldn’t call him. after a few seconds of contemplating, you decided to act like ally. except not in a few words, in one word.

thats what you wrote on the coffee cup before giving it to some other waitress to give to him. you watched from behind the counter as he received the coffee, taking it in his hand before checking out the name tag. “how” you could hear the words leave his inaudibly leave his lips and the hint of curiousness behind it.

your plan was working.

the next few days consisted of pure boredom. getting bullied by ally behind the counter and having to stay late at night as well. one week finally passed and you kept your hopes up that the weather app was correct, it would be raining. and the 80% chance gave you the strength to wake up and do your hair. for no reason though, because you knew ally would want to take his order and ally would want to talk to him.

but just in case, what’s to lose in dressing up decent for once?

you were on your break when felix came this time, but instead of ordering he walked straight to your table. your looking around in case he was mistaken as he sat across from you.

“hey, you’re the girl from earlier right?” he asked, dropping his things on the table in front of you.

“yeah, the one on the floor” you laughed to yourself

“my god” felix laughed along with you, sympathetically shaking his head “im so sorry about that”

“you knew why i was there?” you asked curiously

“oh come on, i know the little secret messages from your friend over the counter. but i really like your coffee, when are you back on your shift?”

“i never thought a guy would ask me to get back to work” you responded sarcastically, looking outside as the water droplets hit the cobblestone floor

“hey now, i just really like your coffee. can I get the usual pleaseeeee” felix begging in a baby-like voice caught your eye as you stared into his puppy eyes, immediately making you fall for them.

you quickly rolled your eyes before getting up from your chair, “fineee”

felix smiled at you, his cheeks turning a faint pink shade as he watched you go to the coffee grinder. “thank youuu”

you quickly put together his favorite order and gave it to ally, stealing a sharpie to write down a word on the name tag

really

“seriously?” ally asked, “can’t you just write down his name?”

“i don’t know his name, shouldn’t you?”

ally took the coffee from you, “watch me, ill get his name and his number” she was on her way to felix, placing his coffee in front of him and sitting in your seat from before.

you watched felix grab the coffee, looking at the word in awe. he picked it up, staring at post sides for a possible hidden message which made you chuckle considering he was more intrigued by the cup than the girl in front of him.

he looked towards the front counters, maybe in hopes of seeing you there but no- you hid behind as he walked out into the cold ran. and from there, according to the weather app, it wouldn’t rain until another 2 weeks.

the next saturday you didn’t expect his arrival. you constantly imagined it however. the way he’d take down his umbrella the second the door shut behind him, looking around for any open tables to accommodate. his pretty outfits made it harder not to fall in love as well, but you had to admit: a boy that came every saturday when it rained. why every saturday? why only when it rained?? it was a mystery behind a perfect man and you were the only one that speculated about it.

“hey y/n, can you do my midnight shift today? the cute boy isn’t coming so there’s no point in staying?” ally asked, her purse already in her hands

“you don’t think i have anything better to do?” you responded before getting a quick response.

“no, probably not. but i do, so see you later!”

and before you knew it ally was out the door.

you watched as people drank their coffees and read books or socialized with others. it was nice to know that people were still innocent enough to spend their saturdays like this. in a coffee shop like you were. but you knew they were doing so much better than you, better than the girl that was wishing itd rained this saturday, so you can give a message to the cute boy.

when everyone started to leave, you began to clean up before looking outside at the downpour. “mother nature, a little too late to comply to my wishes” you muttered to yourself. but almost on cue, you jumped on the spot as you saw the cute boy rush in- this time without an umbrella- into the store.

“am i too late?!” he asked, his heart beating out of his chest and his hair wet from the weather outside.

“dude you’re like soaking wet-”

“where’s the girl?!” he interrupted, looking past you to see no one there

“what girl?” you asked

“the girl that’s always behind the counter, always giving me those stupid messages. god, all i can think about is how her message will end. i have two words but i can’t seem to figure out the rest?! im 100% sure i have an idea but-“

“wait...” you interrupted, dropping your mop to the floor “you didn’t think ANYTHING of those messages? like maybe they actually came from someone’s heart or something?”

“oh come on” felix retorted, “it’s obviously she just likes me cause she thinks im cute or something. i mean who writes messages on coffee cups?”

shy girls that work till 12pm and get bullied by their own co-workers. you thought to yourself

“me... i do” you said in a somewhat like whisper but loud enough for him to hear

“it was you?” he responded in shock

“yes, but if it really meant nothing then i apologize. im sorry i bothered you with my ‘stupid messages’”

“no no!!” the boy grabbed your hands, holding them in his palm. they were freezing cold and no matter how much you hated him in that moment you wanted to hold them forever. “im sorry.. i didn’t mean it like that”

“yes you did, the whole idea was dumb and im sorry for that”

“y/n..” he read off your tag, “finish the message. i promise i won’t judge” he gave your hands a little squeeze making you look into his dark brown eyes. his breaths were softer in the moment, making your heart beat increase and you felt him come closer to you.

“i really... i really like you” you said, closing your eyes at how stupid it sounded at loud.

“you really like me?” he questioned, looking into your eyes as your slowly opened them

you nodded your head before he could pull you into a hug, “i really like you too, almost as much as i like your coffee”

#lee felix #felix lee #stray kids felix #felix fluff #felix angst #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids au #skz au #skz #skz imagines #skz fluff #skz angst

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mycandylovefanatics · 5 years

Note

Hello, Im so glad that you are back, I love your headcanons ! I was thinking what would happen if Candy gets unexpectedly pregnant near the end of UL when Castiel has a lot of commitments because of his career and the tour, if you like the idea and have any thoughts for that!

(Did two requests in one since it’s asking for the same thing. THIS TOOK ME A WHILE TO WRITE BECAUSE I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK BUT HOPE YOU ENJOY IT REGARDLESS! Also HUGE thanks to @sisaki-chan for helping a girl out with a few ideas for Cas, she’s such an amazing friend ugh ❤️)

Castiel

Ohhhhh my godddd not to be dramatic but like… this is probably the WORST thing that can happen right now lmao

As I stated in my last headcanons about “Candy having a 2 year old daughter”, the LAST thing Castiel would want or need is a freaking child. He’s got way too much going on and way too big of an opportunity to pass up for a baby. That probably sounds harsh but let’s be real here, do any of us REALLY think that Castiel would be happy about this, at this point in time? If he wasn’t about to go on tour then okay sure we’ll figure it out but now? Yikes.

His reaction to you telling him is not going to be good so don’t expect any “it’s going to be okay,” type of comfort. He’s going to be pissed. Mostly pissed at himself because at some point he MUST have slipped up. Expect him to walk away and not talk to you for a while. “I just, I need to be alone.” Yes this is an asshole move on his part but can you blame him? He won’t answer any of your texts or calls for a few days. He seemed very adamant about using protection during your one night stand, but not every method of protection is 100%, and you’re only human. Mistakes were bound to happen when it came to sex.

He tries to remember when it could have happened. He can’t pinpoint it but he was so SURE that you two were being careful. For a split second, he wants to question if it’s even his or not, because again, how? But he knows that you’d never do that to him, and he might feel just a bit guilty. At this point though he’s willing to grasp onto any possibility that maybe it was a false positive. After his days of brooding, he’ll call you finally. He’s not sure where to start, but he does want to go to the doctor to make sure it’s true. After your appointment does indeed confirm everything, he just sighs and runs an exasperated hand through his hair. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…”

Discussing your options is definitely going to happen. He will make it very clear to you that he does not want the baby, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be a complete jerk about it either. He’s a man and he takes responsibility for his actions. He knows that he made this baby with you, so basically whatever decision you make he’s just going to suck it up and deal with it.

Now assuming you want to keep it in this case, he’s not happy about it at all. This might even put a strain on your relationship because he’s just in a bad mood all the time now. He isn’t trying to take it out on you, because again it’s not just your fault. He just doesn’t know how to handle the situation at all. How is he going to tell his band mates? What about the tour? Will he even be able to do that still? Would it be selfish? So many questions. Deep deep down though, he really just wants to do what’s best for you as well. He loves you and he would never just abandon you, but he also wants to follow his dream. Can he do that with you and a baby? I mean the plan was to break up before he left right? And now he feels like crap because what are his band mates going to say if he tells them that they aren’t going to be able to tour anymore because of him? After all of their hard work too, dammit! So this will probably cause them to fall out for a bit. I’m not sure if Castiel is close with his band mates to the point where he’d consider them close friends but I’d still like to think that eventually they’d patch things up? Just not know though, not at all.

Despite him being unhappy about it, he makes an effort. He makes it to every single appointment, he’ll help you when you’re not feeling well, and he TRIES to not be so negative around you because he knows you’re probably just as stressed as he is.

Oh god imagine having to deliver the news to the public though? Rumors have already started going around that the tour has been cancelled, but why? His band mates respect him enough to not give anyone an answer and he appreciates that a lot. But of course, speculation rises. You’re seen in public with him often, going in an out of doctors offices, the baggier than usual clothes you wear, the little bit of weight you seemed to have gained. That belly isn’t going to stop growing so people are going to find out sooner or later, let's be real. So when he does finally decide to announce it, everyone is shook.

He’s still a little bitter about the whole tour bit. He doesn’t resent you or the baby he’s just having a hard time coping with it. He thought about maybe just bringing you and the baby with him, but how would that work? Living mostly on a crowded tour bus, with multiple people AND a baby? Yeah no.

After awhile though, like some months into the pregnancy, he kind of starts to come around a bit more. Maybe when you’re almost due, like 7 or 8 months. He realizes, ‘oh shit I’m going to have a baby soon.’ His attitude towards the pregnancy shifts, a complete 180. It’s slow and subtle at first, but you begin to notice the slight smile he has during your ultrasounds, the way his face lights up when he hears the heartbeat for the hundredth time. And while you guys definitely should have done this already, things were just too stressful and busy to really talk about preparing the nursery for the baby. I’d imagine you’d be in Castiel's apartment for a little while, considering you’re in a dorm. All of the baby’s things have just been piling up in a corner, but then he gets this sudden motivation to just organize everything. You’re gone with Rosa somewhere for a while and by the time you come back literally everything is set up. The bottles are neatly put away, the changing table is set up in the bathroom with the diapers, wipes, powder and rash cream under it. It looks like Castiel's place is a studio apartment, so while the baby doesn’t have its own room, he still makes space for it in his. He clears out an entire corner and then some, and the bassinet is perfectly placed with the canopy draped over it. When you come home, he starts going on and on about everything. “I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend since we found out about the baby, but… I’m going to be there for you and for them because it’s my responsibility and I love you. And even though I haven’t met them yet, I love them too.” When the baby is finally born it’s really such a great time! It’s hard occasionally with your busy schedules, and finding time for each other is difficult. But at the end of the day, his favorite part is coming home to his little family, where he can just breathe and be himself. And he’s so good with them too, it’s crazy! It’s like he can read his baby’s mind sometimes. There will be some flops for sure, like backwards diapers or bottles that aren’t warm enough. But he gets the hang of it eventually. Oh man and when the baby gets a little bigger he’ll buy them a toy guitar it’s so cute. They’re both in the living room with their guitars. The baby is just pressing random buttons trying to imitate their daddy. Castiel applauds them as if they’re actually playing a good song lmao. He’s so proud of his mini me. I like to think he and his band mates would patch things up after a while, so sometimes during studio sessions he’ll bring the baby with him and they absolutely adore your kid! Everyone always wants to hold them, and they’re always buying new toys or bribing them with baby snacks. Ugh so adorable.

Oh yeah did you think he gave up on his dream? Hell no. Give it a couple of years, when the baby is a little older. It’ll be way easier to travel this way, and you guys have your own separate tour bus so that way you aren’t a burden to the others. Eventually you guys will settle down into a house and all, but the road trips and sightseeing with your baby is so much fun! When he’s not performing or rehearsing he spends as much time as possible with you two. And he’s very private about his child so I highly doubt they’d be in the spotlight that much, if at all. There’s like maybe 3 pictures of the baby’s face on the internet, but they’re all on your private page lmao no paparazzi has been successful yet.

Nathaniel

Oh geez more angst with this boy. Can’t we just eat cake made of rainbows and sprinkles and we can all eat and be happy?

Okay so first of all, like Castiel a baby is the LAST thing Nathaniel needs right now. I mean the man is involved with some really shady people who will do really terrible things as proven in the last episode, and by those two douchebags who tried to harass candy and multiple other women. And we know that Nathaniel is scared to death of whoever is in charge, he knows that they’re capable of doing messed up things to people who cross them. So now not only is he putting you at risk by even being with you, now he’s got a freaking CHILD on the way.

When you tell him, he’s shocked into silence. “...What?” He’s got thoughts running a mile a minute through his head. How could he have let this happen? He somehow feels like it’s his fault even though logically it’s not, but he KNOWS he can’t afford to have a baby right now, financially and metaphorically. He makes enough money to support himself as a drug dealer, but it’s not like he plans on being one forever. He’s not going to rely on drug money to take care of you and a baby, it’s just not happening. So now he’s gotta figure out how to find a different source of income so that he can do that. He doesn’t exactly want a baby but he’s not going to let you do this alone. “I’m going to figure something out, I promise.”

He’s done a pretty good job of keeping his relationship with you hidden away from them but people are bound to notice if he’s constantly around you all the time making sure you’re okay. So as much as he hates it, he just can’t be there with you 24/7, especially with them calling him up to do work for them all the time. Expect him to miss some appointments, some classes if you’re taking any and just being alone sometimes in general. He’d love nothing more than to be at home with you making sure you’re feeling okay but he can’t, and he can’t risk anyone trying to follow him to figure out why he’s never around anymore. It sucks but it’s for the best.

On another note though, this does nothing but motivate even more him to get out of the business he’s in. The last thing he’d want is to not be able to be there for you when the baby actually gets here, so he starts taking action a lot sooner than before. And honestly, if he has to sacrifice things for your safety then he will. The last thing he wants is for you to be used as leverage against him or whatever. In this last episode he left town for not only his safety but yours and Ambers as well. So with a baby involved I don’t even think he’d hesitate to leave this time. He won’t communicate with you in any way, he doesn’t want to risk it. But, he sends you money to your bank account whenever he can, and will send baby things through the mail if it’s not too risky. He misses you both dearly even though the little bean isn’t here yet, and I genuinely hope that in a case like this he would be able to come back before the baby is born but who knows? I have no idea how this arc will play out for him.

While he’s away, it’s pretty sad tbh. He’s crying all the time, he feels like complete shit for not being able to be there for you. I lowkey feel like he would keep in touch with Amber but she doesn’t tell you because he asks her not to. She secretly shows him ultrasound pictures and updates him on how you’re doing. She feels bad about it but she feels this strong protectiveness over her niece or nephew, and you too now. She wants so badly to tell you that he’s okay but she can’t. The only thing reassuring you of his existence is the fact that he keeps sending you money. He’s fine, just really freaking sad.

For this sake of this scenario I’m just going to go ahead and say that somehow, miraculously all of this gets fixed and he’s able to come back home. You’d decided to just move into his apartment after he left considering you’d be there all the time anyways. He knows you’re there, Amber told him. He gets back and wastes no time going back to his place. He doesn’t even bother to call you because the thought of seeing you again is the only thing on his mind. He left you and Amber the keys so he’s pounding on the door. It scares you at first and you cautiously look through the peephole. When you see him you swear your entire heart stops. You’re frozen to the spot. You don’t answer for a bit, and he pounds again. “Y-Y/N? Are you here?” It’s not until he says this that you snap back to reality and swing the door open. He doesn’t say anything, you don’t even have time to look at him and take it all in before he’s throwing himself at you. Carefully because now your belly is huge, but still enough force to push you back a bit. You can’t see his face but you know he’s crying because you can feel the tears staining your shoulder, and now you’re crying too. You stay like that for such a long time, just embracing each other and crying. You weren’t even sure if you’d ever see him again so this moment feels unreal.

When he FINALLY takes a step back from you, he grabs your face and kisses you with everything he has, and then he looks at your belly and the reality of it all hits him. Obviously he knew how far along you were but seeing it in person, finally being able to touch your belly and feel the kicks… it’s indescribable. He kneels down and places his hands on either side, a sad looking smile on his face. Of course he’s happy but he’s also sad because FUCK did he miss out. Sure appointments are annoying and shopping for a child can get hectic, but he would take that any day over having to leave you again. “I missed you so so much, I missed you BOTH so much.”

At this point you’re pretty far along in the pregnancy so I wouldn’t doubt it if you went into labor a few weeks after this. As nervous as he is, he won’t even show it. This is a moment he didn’t even think he’d get to have with you so all of his worries get pushed to the back of his mind. His fear used to be not being a good dad because of everything he had going on, but then he had to leave and his fear was not being able to see his baby at all, ever. So everything he worried about in the past doesn’t mean shit to him now, he’s here and that’s all the matters. When the baby finally gets here, it’s like the world around him fades out as soon as he hears that first cry. It’s just you, him and your baby. Having a tiny human in his arms feels like literal heaven to him. Was the situation for having a baby ideal? Of course not. Were you ready for a baby? Of course not. But he would choose this over anything if he had to do it all over again.

Oh god Nathaniel is such a good daddy. He’s so patient with the baby, and he’s as involved as he can be with him working an ACTUAL job and finally being able on school. He does online classes because he hates being away from you guys. When he’s at work he’s constantly sneaking to text you to make sure you’re okay, and he loves getting baby pictures during his breaks. He has slight anxiety when he’s away but he knows that the people he had to deal with will be put away for a long time so he tries to relax. As soon as he’s off he rushes back home to see you two, and just embraces you both in a hug, kissing both of your foreheads. You spend the rest of the evening just being next to each other. Even if you have to do school work, you’re both in the living room on your laptops just enjoying the other’s presence. The baby is probably in their walker running around the house, or falling asleep in their rocker. It’s just an all around peaceful atmosphere even if the baby is getting antsy. Expect visits from auntie Amber often too! It’s really great because she knows how busy you both can get so she’ll usually stay for a few hours to help with the baby so you two can focus on school or getting things done around the apartment. He’s also extremely protective of his family so she’s like the only one who can hold your kid besides Rosa and Alexy, without him glaring at the person and telling them no lmao. And not even just a polite no, he’s just so blunt about it. After what he’s been through he’s just very cautious of who he lets into his life and his family’s life.

#mcl #amour sucre #mycandylove #corazon de melon #cdm #castiel #nathaniel #as #mclul #mclul castiel #mclul nathaniel #mclul headcanons #mclul headcanon #mcl headcanon #mcl headcanons #castiel headcanon #nathaniel headcanons #mcl castiel #mcl nathaniel

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neo-culture-mafia · 5 years

Text

Chest Fire (l.dh)

Warnings: |Strong Themes| |Triggering Themes|

Summary: He wasn't the same. No one was, really. But, especially him...Donghyuck. He lost you and can't bear feeling sober anymore. He needed to be numb so he didn't feel himself and get lost in his own mind. But the guys are getting tired of watching Donghyuck drink away his money--but the damage had already been done.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Donghyuck stumbled the now home feeling club where sweaty bodies pressed against each other and peach scented vodka drifted through the humid and sticky air.

The alcohol was making his fingers turn into fire as his toes curled in his combat boots. Another random girl walked up to offer him a dance, but he turned her away already knowing that she couldn't move like you. You were special, and no whore at the club could compare to you, yet he still came crawling back here for the simple fact he couldn't crawl back into bed with you.

He was lost and needed help because his heart was losing its sense of direction. The booming of the bass vibrated through his shoes as his fingers curled into his palm. He needed to stay balanced and he was finding it harder with every passing minute.

He lousily made his way over to a bar stool, not wasting a second before sitting down. "Anoth-" Hyuck was cut off by the bartender. "Im sorry buddy, I'm cutting you off. You've had way too much to drink tonight." He said and Donghyuck was just sitting there, his mouth wide open in shock.

"I am...You-you should..." He slurred over his words, trying to at least get 5 more drinks out of the bartender he now deemed as a friend. Yet, this guy saw himself as Hyuck's friend too, and friends don't let each other kill themselves by drinking their pain away...even though it might help.

Yet, the raging fire in Hyuck's chest only became more apparent at the sudden news of his cut off.

"I think it's time I call Mark, Hyuck. It's time to go home." The bartender said grabbing his phone from his back pocket; and like a cherry bomb...Hyuck exploded.

"No." He slammed his fists on the bar like a 5 year old. "No no no." He repeatedly said slamming his hands down. "Give me more. You're not my father." Donghyuck said and the bartender just sighed and felt pity at the sight.

Stares were coming from each direction as the man gave in to Donghyuck's wants for more liquor. Hyuck sat down, drinking his beer through a straw because he had read somewhere that women liked 'sophisticated' men. Yet, even after 20 minutes of him sitting there sipping his bitter liquid through a neon yellow bendy straw, he finally gave up when he was now drinking air through the endless loops of the bendy plastic.

Even if someone came over and talked to him, he knows he could never take them home to where you used to lay; where you and him had pillowtalks; where you and him did things that only the moon kept secret. It would never be the same...no matter what girl came skipping along.

This was his last resort on trying to cap the memories he had with you. The alcohol was no match for his loneliness though, and it was starting to show. "Hey buddy, you good?" The bartender asked, putting a hand on Hyuck's shoulder. "Uh yeah...totally." Donghyuck chuckled. He turned to face the other man again. "How much is my tab?" Hyuck asked as he grabbed his wallet.

"Why? Usually you pay after 2 weeks." The guy said as he dried a glass lazily. "Not this time my man." Hyuck said fooling around with his wallet. "No, seriously. It's fine." The bartender said going into a folder and ripping up pieces of paper that were labeled as receipts.

"I was gonna pay!" Hyuck said getting defensive. "No...I promise it's fine." The bartender said and Hyuck groaned as he still slipped a 100 out and gave it the worker. "For all the trouble I caused." He said and the man just grabbed it hesitantly. "Thank you?" He questioned, but Hyuck was already out the door with another beer in his ring adorned hand.

He stumbled in a literal circle for 20 minutes. "Hyuck." He heard someone call. It sounded like you. He immediately stopped and looked at the beer. "Hyuck!" Someone screamed this time. "Y/n?" He called out, turning around now. His heard was whooshing with all the passing traffic; all the bright city lights blending together. The fire on his chest wanting to grow more and more at the such sweet sound.

"Y/n!" He yelled and the people passing him gave dirty looks but he was trying to find you. "Hyuck." Someone grabbed him from behind. He whirled around and was met eye to eye...with Jaemin. "...y/n..." is all that Hyuck muttered to himself.

"No. It's Jaemin." Jaemin reassured and the delirious boy could only nod, meaning he could understand him. "It's time to go home now." Jaemin said holding Hyuck's arm and leading him to a car.

"Can we go to y/n's place?" Hyuck asked like a five year old who just lost his favorite toy. Jaemin opened the passenger door and helped the boy in.

You and Jaemin were twins. You were siblings but acted like best friends, so naturally when you and Hyuck started dating, the three of you became family. So seeing Hyuck so hung up about you leaving him...it hurts Jaemin too.

"I don't think that's a good idea, buddy." Jaemin sighed, buckling his best friend up. "Please. I need to see her." Hyuck gripped Jaemin's hand. "Please." He choked out, tears ready to spill at any moment.

Jaemin removed his hand and groaned; slamming the door with such a force that it rocked the car a little.

-------------

"We're here." Jaemin braked hardly infront of the homes for you and what seemed like a million other people. Hyuck was jolted awake, but he was still thankful for the hour trip Jaemin made.

Jaemin just looked out his window and sulked like a pouty baby. Hyuck had sobered up a little and he was able to control himself and his own body.

He hopped out of the car and walked the short way to the gate. He opened the small gate and walked up the foot path to your house. The walking distance felt like muscle memory as he recognized the familiar feeling.

He was then met with the glimmering marble stuck in the ground. He stared at your engraved name in the ground. He just sighed, falling to his knees. "...hey baby..." He said sitting on his bottom and crossing his legs so he sat like a kindergartener in class.

"I miss you." He sighed again, tracing hearts next to your name. "Jaemin misses you...he's just...scared to come visit you..." Hyuck said looking back to the boy sitting in the car. Even in the complete darkness of night, anyone could see Jaemin's body shake with sobs. The light behind him made it look like a shillouete. It was absolutely beautiful yet heartbreaking.

Yet his body straightened again and you could see Jaemin light a cigarette quickly.

Donghyuck looked back down to you. "Jaemin started smoking again." He sighed and picked at the weeds growing around your headstone. "Renjun doesn't come out of his room except for missions." He said and recalled what the others were doing.

"I caught Jisung in your room, trying to talk to you...he's been a mess." Hyuck told of the younger boy, totally lost with the fact you aren't around anymore. "And...we're just all...really sorry it happened like this."

You died in a mission gone wrong. You had the option of staying in the truck with Chenle, or accompying Hyuck and Jaemin into the warehouse where Jeno, Renjun, and Jisung were working undercover. You all didn't hear the man sneaking up behind you, and when you did...it was too late.

Hyuck was twirling his engagement ring around his finger. "This is useless." He said and took it off, setting it right next to yours that was locked in marble forever. He leaned back and looked at the stars. They were so bright that night. It was crazy. "...let me let you go already..." He mumbled as he watched a star fizzle out completely.

"I love you." Hyuck said leaning down and kissing your stone sweetly. "...wait for me..." He said as he got up and walking away back to the car. He hopped in, now completely sober after the experience.

"Ready?" Your brother asked, ready to speed away from this place that held you imprisoned. "Yeah...I'm ready." Hyuck said and they zoomed away as if they were still threatened by the attacker that took you.

"..soon enough..." Hyuck whispered to himself, setting his chin in his hand and looking into the city. "...soon enough..." He closed his eyes.

----------

THE NEXT DAY

Hyuck didn't sleep at night, literally. He sat up on the rug the whole night, afraid of the harsh reality that once he opened his bedroom door, you wouldn't be there. He knew you weren't there, he just doesn't want to accept it.

You both were so strong and had so many plans for the future. You both wanted kids, a home, a life...and it was all down the drain now.

It was just getting harder to live everyday when his every breath felt like a gunshot to the chest. His mind was a bomb, and it was going off every time he is reminded of you and the way you used to tell him it was okay.

"You fucker." Jaemin yelled as he shot the man down quickly. Hyuck dropped his gun and grabbed you as you began to drop.

"Chenle, get 127 unit down here, man down." Jaemin called and Hyuck was still frozen in shock, yet the bullet stuck in your neck made him snap in and out of this icy trance.

"Come on, you got this. Keep your eyes open." Hyuck said taking off his bandana and getting ready to wrap it around your throat so it can stop the bleeding. Yet, you wouldn't be able to breath . Him and Jaemin realised this at the same time, as your eyes became icy and pale. You were dying. You realised this too. It would be a painful and gruesome way to go, but it was happening.

"It's okay." You motioned with your mouth, the hole in your throat, not letting you speak. The look on your fiancés face would haunt you to the other side. He looked so...scared. "It's okay. I'm here." You mouthed again and touched his cheek. He just looked down at you as you took your final breath. Jaemin hasn't told anyone yet, but he was so ready to pop one on himself in that very moment, yet he was so convinced this was a dream that all he did was stare down at your cold and pale face.

Jaemin woke up the next morning and wished he didn't. Hyuck didn't sleep till the next night; he was too afraid of the dark and the thoughts that would cloud his mind once he was alone, wanting to be with you.

Hyuck was now laying in a baby position, holding his legs close to his chest. The knocking on the door brought him out of his dark thoughts. "Open." He mumbled and the door opened to Jaemin.

"Dude...we've been at training for an hour now." He said and all Hyuck did was nod, understanding what he was saying. "Sorry?" He yawned and Jaemin slumped at his friends expression.

He sat down next to his laying position.

It was pure silence until it was sliced by Hyuck's heartbreaking confession. "It hurts." He said, and Jaemin didn't have to be a genius to figure out what he was talking about. "I know...i know." He said putting his hand on Donghyuck's shoulder. "It hurts so much." Hyuck cried, curling up into a tighter ball.

The firey feeling in Hyuck's chest was like never before. It felt so much different as your literal other half held him as he cried like a child.

The burning was unbearable as his eyes screwed shut in pure agony. Jaemin couldn't help the tears from pouring either. Sitting on the ground in yours and Hyuck's apartment was all too real. It was too real you weren't here anymore.

Hyuck finally calmed down and looked to his friend. "...please...please end this..." He begged and Jaemin couldn't yell at him. He wanted to end this pain too. The bottle of aspirin wasn't doing anything anymore. It all hurt too much for any medication to numb it.

"...I'm...not going to kill you..." Jaemin breathed, the words falling out of his mouth. "...please..." Hyuck became desperate to make the raging in his chest and head stop.

"I'm...no." Jaemin said standing up now, leaving Hyuck on the floor. "It hurts...I know...It hurts like hell. But, you can't give up now. She wouldn't be happy with this..." Jaemin started getting into his own mind.

He had been so long without one of your hugs or seeing you smile at his surprise tickle attacks.

"I...I know it seems like the only way. I know that." Jaemin said pulling at his hair.

"Because it is." Hyuck bursted through the air, throwing the TV remote at the wall. It ended up hitting the vase and made it shatter into a million little pieces.

"I'm tired! I'm tired of coming home alone! I could lie, and say it's okay and that I like it that way, but I don't!" Hyuck screamed, kicking things around to get his point across.

"It feels as if I'll never be happy again, and at this point I don't care. I just want this..." Hyuck said pointing to himself and all around the room. "this....I want this to end..."

They were left together in the quiet room, the only sound being their breathing. They could only look at each other at a time like this.

-----------

"I just don't know what to say anymore." Mark sighed as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair. They were all in practice, and Jaemin had left about an hour ago to find Donghyuck.

"None of us do." Renjun mumbled, twisting his leather bracelet around his wrist.

"He's gonna end up killing himself if we don't do something." Mark said what everyone was thinking. "We just need to get him out of the house." Mark finished as he grabbed his jacket.

"No...we should let him be alone...he'll just be aggressive if we tell him to move on." Jisung finally piped in, trying to get everyone to turn around and leave Hyuck alone.

"Jaemin has it...it will be okay." Jisung said, more of assuring himself than anyone else.

Everyone looked at each other in silence, even though they knew it wouldn't be okay...ever.

"...okay..." Mark said dropping his jacket and walking back over slowly.

"...30 pushups..." Mark said and the Junior Forces hit the ground, their worry and fear going into the performance they were all wearing on their face.

----------

"...i'm cold..." Jaemin muttered and Hyuck could only nod, the tears falling down into the blue water. "...me too..." He muttered.

He held Jaemin close to his chest, the water sloshing over the sides a little bit. "...it's going to be okay..." Jaemin reassured Hyuck, but also himself. "...i know..." was all that was muttered from the slightly older boy.

"...thank you..." was the last thing said by Hyuck before he grabbed Jaemin's hand. He closed his eyes as the banging and yells from the front door began to get more violent, the rest of the units trying to get to them. Yet, they were in the bathroom and no one could make it to them in time. It was already over.

Jaemin gripped Hyuck's hand one more time as he felt everything become still, shuttering in the cold water that entrapped both of their bodies. Both of their eyes closing, and the raging fire in their chests finally stopped....

...everything stopped...

○••••••••••••••••○

I honestly think this is the worst thing I have ever written, to be completely honest.

I might do a couple time stamps for what happens after...but...yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, and sorry in advance if I made you cry.

Love,

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igot7trashy7 · 4 years

Text

🌕PART 15🌕 We all need a break

Summary- Sunrise just has always been the better and more popular band, your company also thinks so….

My forever sunrise

Sunshine above my head

An angel for me

Hold my hand and leave

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone needs a break and an excuse to get drunk so that’s why it was your idea to throw a party for the success of the collaboration. Mark being the kind brother allowed it to be at his house.

“As the leader of MCTK I’m telling everyone to get wasted tonight.”

“And as the responsible one I’m not drinking tonight.” Jinyoung crossed his arms and Jackson put an arm around his shoulder, “And it’s cute that you think you have a say in that.” Jinyoung tried his best to hide the fact that his face was getting red so he just rolled his eyes at Jackson.

“We all worked really hard lately! Just say fuck it with us, Jinyoung.” You presented a shot in front of his face, giving him puppy dog eyes, “What do you say?”

“Fine.....fuck it.” Jinyoung shrugged his shoulders taking the shot in one and pulled a sour face making Bam and Yugyeom cheer. A little later you sneaked off to find more alcohol since the bottles already out aren’t really doing much for you. You went in the kitchen and walked into a hidden part where you know all too well that Mark hides the good shit at.

“Need help?” Jaebum popped his head in the room and you looked over at him then back at the cooler, “Just getting a drink.” You took out a hard liquor and mixed it in two cups of soda that you made before hand. Both of you walked back into the kitchen and you handed him one of your creations.

“The last time I drank was when Sunrise debuted.” Jaebum said and you tsked, “I finished the last bottle of wine at the dorm last night.” The look on his face made you laugh.

“This is nice.”

“The party?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Talking to you. I can’t remember the last time I had a decent conversation with you.” You leaned on the counter and Jaebum took a sip of his drink while smiling, “Same.” The faith sound of the party from the other room was heard. You two stayed in silence for a little bit just enjoying the other’s company.

“You look pretty tonight, Y/n.” Jaebum was thinking it in his head and he couldn’t believe that he actually said it out loud.

“Thanks.” Butterflies flew around in your stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You climbed on top of the table with the help of Bam as he was the one to suggest getting on the table in the first place.

“Cheers to everyone’s hard work!” You smiled down at everyone as they raised their cups and chanted, everyone downed their drinks with a cheer. The music continued and everyone began to party harder. That’s when you bumped into Jaebum and Youngjae in the kitchen, casually wanting another drink you popped next to them and quickly made three. You kept yours on the counter and got the attention of the other two.

“I don’t need another drink, trust me.”

“Awe the baby can’t handle his alcohol?” You teased Jaebum as Youngjae gladly took a cup from your hand.

“Yep, he’s definitely a baby when it comes to alcohol.” Youngjae whispered to you and you grinned at Jaebum, “Ah~ finally I found something I’m better at than you.” Youngjae was about to take a sip but Jaebum snatched it from his hand and downed it in a go. Instantly regretting it and locked eyes with you making a disgusted face.

“I hate you.” A bitter taste started to form in Jaebum’s mouth.

“Don’t you think hate is a strong word?”

“I think it’s a perfect word.” Jaebum joked and you nudged his shoulder with a shake of your head, “Nah~ we don’t hate each other.” Youngjae cocked an eyebrow at you two and quietly watched the way you two stood closer to each other.

“I never hated you, you started to hate me first and I had to return the favor.”

“I didn’t always hate you.” You spoke truthfully to Jaebum and sighed while looking down at your cup, “It just.....happened.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Such a good time to be alive, don’t you think?”

“Ah yes~ my will to live is really up there today.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes towards Jackson and they hovered over you while you put things away in your locker. They continued to bicker over literally nothing like every morning.

“Hopefully you two don’t act like a married couple after we graduate.”

“Well of course! That’s when we are officially getting married.” Jackson smiled big at Jinyoung causing the other to wave him away, “You fucking wish.” You giggled at the two, shutting your locker and turning too quickly while you didn’t pay attention to in front of you. You walked into someone’s chest and dropped everything that was in your hand.

“Sorry.” A voice in front of you said and you hurried to pick up your stuff. You and someone else’s hand grabbed the same book, you looked up to thank the person but your face stayed in shock. Im Jaebum, the guy that is better at everything than you and he makes sure that you know that. It pisses you off, ever since grade school he was always better at everything.

~”Don’t you think Jaebum is such a great singer?” “But I can sing too....” “But Jaebum is better.”~

Talented, gifted, charming, has the whole world wrapped around his finger. Not a day goes by where he has all his attention on you, just to bother you and to show his cute smile. His goddamn cute smile.

“Wow....you’re actually pretty.” He locked eyes with you, slowly your eyes grew wider and he continued to stare at you. Your body froze trying to understand the gibberish that came out of his mouth. Jaebum grinned ear to ear making your face heat up and you squealed, “And you’re pretty ugly!” You grabbed all of your things off the floor as he just stared at you from the same level. Jinyoung and Jackson’s snickering was heard from behind you, you got up and walked past them in a hurry. Talented, gifted, charming, has the whole world wrapped around his finger. The number one thing that bothers you the most about him is the way he can easily make you blush and have butterflies in your stomach.

#got7 #got7 jb #got7 mark #got7 jackson #got7 bambam #jaebum #got7 youngjae #got7 jaebum #got7 jaebeom #jaebum x reader #got7 yugyeom #got7 jinyoung #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop social media au #kpop got7 #idol au

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ohmyuqi · 5 years

Text

ＷｈｅｎＩｗａｓｙｏｕｒｍａｎ

When I was you man (Lucas x Reader)

genre: Angst, sad fluff

summary: “I was fool with the delusion of deserving a love like yours.”

an: im so sorry.

playlist: “when I was your man” - bruno mars

“y si fuera ella?” - alejandro sanz

“it will rain” - bruno mars

“talking to the moon” - bruno mars

“photograph” - ed sheeran

“chasing cars” - snow patrol

“cuando me enamoro” - enrique iglesias y juan luis guerra

“just give me a reason” - pink

(order doesn’t matter)

________________________________________________________________

While lucas is moving out your shared apartment he finds a polaroid of you two and decides to write you a letter.

________________________________________________________________

Empty, desolate, different.

Lucas couldn’t believe his eyes, once an apartment full of life, love and a promising future turned into well, this.

He started wistfully at the leather couch he would have to call Mark to help him move. The same couch where you guys had you first kiss.

The same couch you guys would spend hours cuddling and watching tv together, enjoying life for what it was. What you made it to be.

The same couch where you would discuss how you guys would spend the rest of your lives together. Where you lay when your future kids frolicked in your future house.

What you and Lucas had was ethereal, special. Unlike anything either of you had felt before.

His love felt new and exciting but comforting and familiar.

He felt different and new, albeit it also felt you knew him all your life.

You both used to spend every living moment with each other. You could never get tired of him just like he could never get tired of you. At least that’s what you thought up until a couple months ago.

When you realized that his smile didn’t light up when he saw you like it used to. He didn’t hold you like he used to, things were shifting.

The dawn would flow into your room through your windows and he wasn’t there.

When you talked you didn’t talk, just reassurances of love.

Friday nights you would end up all alone, talking to the moon and your bedroom walls. The ones where you hung pictures of both of you actually in love.

Friday nights where Lucas was hanging out with his “friends”, then later coming home smelling like a French Whore.

You felt like were going mad without him, life felt so dull and different. You were alone. At times it felt like Lucas was all you had, now even he was slipping through your frail hands.

You would spend nights on end wondering what you were doing wrong.

You tried so hard to satisfy him. You loved him unconditionally, you tried to make him feel better on the days when life would beat him up. You supported him through all his decisions, whether you agreed or not. You even dressed yourself up to try to impress him.

After a while you knew it was useless, in the beginning you could be in a stained hoodie with your hair a mess and he wouldn’t care. All he could see was that blinding smile and those charming eyes.

One day you decided to let all trust out the window and test him, to this day a little part of you wishes you hadn’t.

You shoved your keys in your purse making sure everything you needed was there. Your eyes trailed to Lucas, standing at the door. A juicebox and a pb and j sandwich in a paper bag securely held by his sure hands.

You walked over to him and gave him a big great hug. It was painful, you knew this would be the last one. You stayed in his comforting arms for longer than usual, relishing its bitter sweetness.

He handed you the small bag and took your crumbling face in his hands. “Don’t cry, princess. Your interview will be fine. If they reject you they don’t deserve the little jem they let slip through their hands.” He placed a light kiss on your head.

How hypocritical of you, Lucas.

You told him the interview would be very tedious process and you would probably be home very late. Late enough for him to speak his truths.

You waited a couple hours, oh how long those hours. Waited ‘till it felt right.

You left your car as quietly as possible, opening the door knob, fingers trembling.

All you could hear were your painful heart beats and lingering doubts troubling your heart.

You looked around in the messy apartment, its appearance reflecting your peace of mind.

You kept looking, nothing seemed out of place. Not a sound was heard either.

A little bud of hope flourished in your tearing heart, just waiting to put you back together.

You walked to the room that you and Lucas shared, once a place of love corrupted by ignorance.

You stopped, fingers inches away at the knob. You were itching to know the truth, but at the same time you knew your ignorance was bliss.

But you couldn’t live on like this, your heart wouldn’t be able to take it.

You pulled open the door and their it was, the truth was staring blankly back at you. Yet, for some reason, you couldn’t believe it. You didn’t want to.

In that second in time, Lucas didn’t break your heart. He took it, crushed it, stepped on it and spit on it.

Dark oceans of regret stared back you, not a word.

The silence was deafening, you wished he said something. Anything, any excuse to keep you.

The part that truly broke you was the fact that he didn’t even try. He didn’t try to keep you, he didn’t do anything.

Your eyes brimming with tears, you yelled at the top of your lungs.

“SAY SOMETHING, ANYTHING.” You grabbed him by his broad shoulders, waking up the woman laying soundly next to him.

You yelled at him until your voice broke and your throat burned with all the truths you wished you spoken earlier. You pushed and slapped him weakly.

You went crazy, you quite literally snapped.

You stared at the woman next to him, she watched you both with guilty eyes. You didn’t know who she was and you didn’t care.

“Get out of my house.”

She stared at you for a second, clearing her throat and her eyes trailing to her bare body covered by sin and a thin, white sheet.

“I said get out of my house.” This time you made sure you put all the pain and hatred in your command. Poison seething through your trembling lips.

She took the sheet and made sure she was covered. Taking her purse and her last sliver of dignity out the door.

You picked a red thong from the floor. Making sure you didn’t actually touch the filthy garment.

“Is this some kind of cruel joke?” Unlike the unknown mistress, he had no dignity to spare. There was quite literally nothing he could say to fix this.

He couldn’t lie his way out of this one, he couldn’t kiss it and make it better.

You threw the dirty thing at him. “You’re a piece of literal dog shit, rot in hell.”

That’s when he burst at the seams, all this wrongdoing and guilt getting to his decrepit mind.

He watched as you rushed out the door, hair trailing like the fiery burning in your heart.

He knew in him what he did was wrong, but he was blinded by lust and lies.

How utterly cruel of you to blame him for his big heart. How absolutely wicked of you to hate him for blaming him for something he can’t control. How terrible of you for leaving him and not accepting that he is human and makes mistakes.

Anything, he clawed for reasons to hate you. He had all these ‘reasons’, yet he couldn’t find it in him to hate you.

Walking into the room everything came back to him. It wreaked of alcohol and regret.

The bed was bare and the old bed sheets were ashes in a near by forest.

He looked around in the vacant shell of a home. He looked to his left and there it was, just like he remembered. It was a Polaroid of your first date at the amusement park. Even if it was your first date both of you knew it was love. But just like anything, love dies in negligence.

He had a big cheesy smile, oozing with love. While you were lightly pecking his sun kissed cheek. A small droplet landed on the picture, rubbing salt in the wound.

He picked a pen of your coffee table and took out a sheet of paper.

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now.

When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down

'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

Mm, too young, too dumb to realize That I should have bought you flowers And held your hand Should have gave you all my hours When I had the chance Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made. And it haunts me every time I close my eyes. Although it hurts

I'll be the first to say that I was wrong.

I know I'm probably much too late

To try and apologize for my mistakes But I just want you to know,

hope he buys you flowers I hope he holds your hand Give you all his hours When he has the chance Take you to every party 'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance Do all the things I should have done When I was your man Do all the things I should have done When I was your man.

Ps. I don’t deserve you, don’t come back to me.

Attaching the picture to the letter after snapping a picture of it on his phone, signing off the past to you. Letting go and accepting his mistakes.

“I was fool with the delusion of deserving a love like yours.”

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k-pham · 5 years

Text

hi y’all it’s a and I’m continuing my trend of never doing anything valid and playing the same character with different faceclaims. also this blog is so... empty rn pls skjdfshd

Meet Kiet Anh “Kit” Pham. 17. Slytherin. Seventh year. DE.

(+) sensitive, loyal, charming, organized

(-) glib, arrogant, spoiled, impulsive, reckless, insecure, misguided, offensive

Make no mistake. You were never good.

From the start, you were a menace. As your mother tells it, you started to wail the instant you took your first breath—and you haven’t stopped since.

As soon as you were able to walk, you tore through your mother’s rose garden, grabbed fistfuls of thorns to rip out the flowers. For your seventh birthday, when gave she gave you the wrong gift, you smashed your grandmother’s heirloom vase against the wall. You’ve always been more trouble than you were worth. You’ve always been a terror.

But, let’s be honest— that’s not what you wanted to be.

So what if cruelty has always been your first resort? If consequence is still far from your mind? You learned the taste of blood before honey, salt before sweet. Your first bite tasted bitter, and the sting took time to fade.

You were never good. But that only was because you didn’t know how to be—

When the divorce happened, you watched your mother pack his things from the corner. When she leaned in to tell you goodbye, you flinched. You told her you hated her. But that was only because you were afraid.

You see, being a monster is easy. And admitting you care is hard.

You were never good. No, that’s for certain. You’ve said too many bad things. You’ve slammed too many doors. You’ve thrown too many fits.

But oh, how you’ve always wished you were.

kiet anh pham (nicknamed kit) was born to parents who, he was mostly certain, never loved him.

it’s not like they were incapable of it. they tried their hardest. even as their own marriage fell apart, there was still love there. at least for his younger sister, mailan, for for his other siblings.

but that was easy. everyone loved mailan. she was cute and soft and she did all the right things. kit- was-, well, kit. he had never really made it easy for them.

he was the only son of a high-society pureblooded family and he acted like it: rich and spoiled, he grew up a little monstrous and more than a little disrespectful. he would do things without really thinking of the consequences and make more trouble than he really meant to.

looking back, he was probably just acting out because he knew what was coming. he knew his parents were going to leave each other. and he, well, all he ever knew was the only time they ever did anything together was when they yelled at him.

in retrospect, all that did was probably make the divorce happen faster.

but he didn’t know.

he just wanted them- to tell him no.

he didn’t think they would really leave.

honestly, for kit, the only thing good that came out of his parent’s divorce is- z.

while the two of them had known of each other before and might have even considered each other friends, when he gained a new brother, kit saw a light at the end of a tunnel.

it was all fun and games at first. they shared a bunk bed and a room. z taught him about pokemon and beyblades and kit did his best to pretend not to be interested. they played aurors and robbers. they got up to tons of mischief, stayed up way too late, talked way too much. so, though kit didn’t stop being trouble, it was- the best thing in the world to have someone all too willing to share the blame and laugh. he had always liked being a brother, but, with z, he found that he loved– having one.

tw abuse mention and then, i guess, bc all good things come to an end. he got old enough to understand what had happened to z and his mother. and, filled with deep-rooted hatred for the muggles that raised z, unable to reconcile that anger into anything else but broad generalizations, he ended up joining the death eaters.

it was actually a targeted recruitment (wanted connection here, i suppose). the phams and diggorys were well-connected and well-off, but not de-aligned. someone offered kit guidance and purpose and preyed upon his already existent hatred for muggles and voila! he signed up— and (unbeknownst to him at the time) signed away z’s, mailan’s and his own futures.

i think right now– to put it in the most concise terms. kit is having– growing pains. z has withdrawn from the family, doing work for the de higher ups that he clearly doesn’t care to tell kit about. mailan is working as a double agent for the de, in direct contact with the student leaders, and there’s so much that she has to hide. safe to say, they’re both doing- better than he is.

so what if he’s jealous? that he joined up first and everyone else in his family is doing bigger things than he is. so what if he’s sad? he no longer has the confidante and friend he used to have. he’s the oldest brother and none of his siblings even need him anymore. and so what if he’s scared? that all of them are in over their heads. that he got them into a bad decision. that— mailan and z going to do what his mother did and leave him the second they find out what the world is like without him.

he’s never made it easy to be loved, he knows, but that’s never made it hurt any less.

this time, kit is thinking things through. he’s taking precautions. before his mother left, kit begged for him to stay. he lashed out. he threw a tantrum. he cried. he ended up saying some things that can never be taken back. that was pathetic. this time, he won’t do any of that.

so what if z wants to be distant? go. kit doesn’t care.

so what if mailan is risking her life every single day? that’s all fine. kit won’t worry.

so what if the death eaters don’t want him in their uber-secret and top-level ranks? okay. kit has other things to do.

within the last year, kit has proclaimed his lifelong goal is to photosynthesize, a concept, he entirely doesn’t grasp but has heard of through his vague understanding of muggle science. “drink, soak in the sun and breathe good? sounds okay to me.”

he’s very purposely going to not care about things. he’s going to do nothing that doesn’t benefit him directly. he’s not going to care at all. he was never good at being loved, never good at being good— so now he won’t even try.

it’s a good plan. after all, in this world, you can really only be certain of one thing: people leave. you have to look out for yourself.

more rando points and introspection

to break things down in the most concise way, I think I need to talk about the connections and difference between Kit’s actions and his feelings. i think that kit has big feelings and just no way of communicating them. he’s afraid of looking weak, of being vulnerable. he’s afraid that he’ll give them something else not to love.

fuccboi hypebeast naruto runner mode x3000

kit absolutely dresses like a Naruto character 100% of the time

im mostly thinking abt this meme but also he would dress like kakashi n sasuke in a heartbeat

um? how to say– a lil bitch. literally a gremlin. a virgin, but like… in that lies about it bc he’s ashamed and insecure about it. if he got laid once… maybe it would solve all his and his family’s problems. probably not. but lbr… he wouldn’t mind it.

lies about a lot more than that too, just to be clear.

biggest lies are “i DON’t LOVE u.” and “I DON’t CARE.” but nearly everything he says is a lie.

“mUGGLES n muggleborns ARE BACKWARDS and THEY HAVE NOTHING REDEEMABLE about THEM” a lie, first off just in the not true sense, but also kit doesn’t even really believe that. he likes the muggle things that z has shown him and also, likes z, even though he is not a pureblood.

that being said has literally no understanding of muggle concepts beyond what z has told him and even then grasps very little

kit vs catholicism is… v bad

i can really see kit, like when his parents were fighting, getting in between them with tears in his eyes. “i’m the prince of this house! and i’m telling you not to fight anymore and also you have to stay together for me!!!” this equal parts entitlement, ludicrousness and … just desperation is… altogether kit for me.

even tho mailan and z are the MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE In THE WORLD TO HIM, he has absolutely put them down publicly, sometimes (recently) even to their face. it’s his way of saying im insecure and i don’t care that u guys are leaving me and being much more accomplished than me

yeah he a soft DUMb. SO WHAT ABOUT IT.

· Bc I’m at character saturation, I literally have to use my other characters to describe him so here we go.

probably most like cress— in that they’re both opinionated, misguided and committed to the de. They’re just… misguided in different ways. Cress doesn’t really lie about the way he feels. Cress genuinely thinks what he is doing is right. He thinks the sacrifices he has made are worth it. Cress has some level of altruism (even tho…he is selfish too). Cress is smart and calculated and, well, frankly impressive. Kit is the opposite of all of that. He’s reactionary, impulsive, selfish and… inadequate in so many ways.

one thing of note is that he can’t talk himself out of situations like Cress can. Kit makes mistakes— and has to live with them. Cress doesn’t blame himself but will “accept responsibility”. Kit blames himself.

kit is also way less behaved that cress. cress will make a bad prank and laugh if he stands by it and then, say sorry after a little bit. kit will do something absolutely awful and feel awful and still laugh while hating himself wildly. kit will also never apologize.

like rose, he’s having a truly rough time with growing up. he wishes things could go back to the way they were. but unlike rose, he refuses to cling to his childhood innocence. he’s pushing himself to grow up way faster than he’s actually comfortable with and that’s really causing intense angst. kit is exactly the kind of person who has and will make fun of rose for things that even he himself are guilty of.

apparently I also have a thing for older siblings bc … rose, jasper and kit are all really protective of their siblings. But while rose and jasper mainly manifest this in healthy ways (if anything, probably … a little too overprotective), kit is a tiny lil shitball full of irrationality. bursts of being way too controlling and, when that’s not received well, sulking in a corner.

lowkey… he’s awful, but, because he’s motivated purely out of irrationality and spite and not logic, he’s my de character with the most chance for redemption.he’s … awful. he acts awful. he thinks muggles n muggleborns r backwards n dont deserve rights. he’s half cocky quips and half … just like offensive comments. gross. when ur a pureblood rich boy, u can care about literally nothing and say whatever u want get away with it. the only problem is… he does care. he cares so much. he’s worried about his bb sister and his step bro, but doesn’t have the emotional strength to show it. he worries about the future n what he’s going to do. but most of all, he worries that if people know that he cares… that they’ll think he’s weak (which tbh he is).

wanted connections

tba

terrible de friends!!! photosynthesize with kit

good friends !!! pls tell kit he’s being awful. this one is limited bc... he truly is awful!!!

a de mentor!!!!! v important for kit’s sense of self!!! bc this mentor approached him asnd was like wassup!! wanna have a sense of community and got a lot of misplaced anger??? kit: hell yeah my dude also i got two juicy siblings that can convert with me

a tutor! this girl only plays dums!!! kit no es tan inteligente como cress o rose n el necesita ayuda!!!!

#iidyintro #the gif makes him look like a trucker !!!! n thats not the vibe but who cares!!

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rhiezus · 4 years

Text

1989 As Our Ships, Moments & Characters.

Welcome To New York

This song is kind of annoying but it’s a classic, of course that I thought of Kim Yura and Abe Chiyo first because... c’mon, first Yura was born in New York and second the lyrics is very them... Also a little bit of WNDR? Because of their tour? I mean they getting famous and coming to America, it also reminded me of them a lot because it’s like fame is been waiting for them.

Walking through a crowd, the village is aglow Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats Everybody here wanted something more Searching for a sound we hadn't heard before

I mean you can see why I mentioned WNDR right?

When we first dropped our bags on apartment floors Took our broken hearts, put them in a drawer Everybody here was someone else before And you can want who you want Boys and boys and girls and girls

Also Kim Yura and Abe Chiyo forgetting their past to be together and shit.

Blank Space

Okay I have no idea, I thought of Linlin but... I don’t know, the thing is this album has a lot of “personas” created by Taylor so it’s hard to tell which one of them is who. I have no idea, seriously, let’s just listen and think together.

Style

I was thinking about this one while I was washing the dishes, that’s why I decided to do this today, hehe. Okay so hear me out, first I remembered this whole album I tried to associate with Nayoung years ago but then I was remembering our ships and came up with Julie and Valak, but I was like? Not so much because they are very dragged only by each other, so I don’t know. Then I though of 2sun, I was like, yes? Very much. But then, finally out of nowhere I was... Oh my god this is Ruy and Hai.

The lights are off, he's taking off his coat (mm, yeah) I say, "I heard, oh That you've been out and about with some other girl" Some other girl He says, "What you heard is true, but I Can't stop thinking 'bout you, and I" I said, "I've been there too a few times"

Right? I mean... It was exactly why i thought about them.

Oh, you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye And I got that red lip classic thing that you like And when we go crashing down (and when we go) We come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

The gays literally never go out of style, that’s why we keep making them.

Out Of The Woods

Oh my baby, I love this song. Funny thing that when this about first launched, I didn’t like this song because I thought it was too repetitive but then when I came across while we were in the mood “nayoung x keun breakup fiasco thing”, I just fell in love with it. Because it’s literally Nayoung’s mind, I just- Yeah. I also I was just thinking about how it reminds me of Danbi and Daehyun too, somehow?

Looking at it now It all seems so simple We were lying on your couch I remember You took a Polaroid of us Then discovered (then discovered) The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color

It makes so much sense, yes. I don’t have much to say about 1989 this album just speaks for itself, I just point the people that it speaks to.

Looking at it now Last December (last December) We were built to fall apart Then fall back together (back together) Your necklace hanging from my neck The night we couldn't quite forget When we decided, we decided To move the furniture so we could dance Baby, like we stood a chance

December? Does it ring a bell? Haha, we knew.

Also, I gotta add this description by Genius, again: The repetitive nature of the chorus reinforces the idea that the fear and nerves that came with the relationship were overbearing and completely took over her thoughts.

When you started crying, baby, I did too But when the sun came up, I was looking at you Remember when we couldn't take the heat? I walked out and said, "I'm setting you free" But the monsters turned out to be just trees When the sun came up, you were looking at me

I wanna cry this is so Nayoung and Keun, for god sakes... Finally they out of the woods kkkjkjk

All You Had To Do Was Stay

Anna and Kuen, I literally just thought of it. Before I thought of Haneul and Hyuntae, but honestly? Totally Anna and Kuen, I can literally see.

People like you always want back The love they gave away And people like me wanna believe you When you say you've changed The more I think about it now The less I know All I know is that you drove us Off the road

Yeah, I mean, I’m still out of words, I’m just trying to make my point cross effectively.

Let me remind you This was what you wanted You ended it You were all I wanted But not like this

Yes?? Also, she repeats the “stay” like a hundred times so, yeah.

Shake It Off

It is still Hailey to me, or just WNDR being goofyes in the dorm. Literally what Taylor says about this song just speaks to WNDR in a nutshell: I really wanted it to be a song that made people want to get up and dance at a wedding reception from the first drum beat. But I also wanted it to be a song that could help someone get through something really terrible if they wanted to focus on the emotional profile, on the lyrics.

But I keep cruisin' Can't stop, won't stop groovin' It's like I got this music in my mind Saying it's gonna be alright

So yeah, nothing more to say.

I Wish You Would

I literally can’t stand the connections between Taylor’s songs and Harry anymore on genius, but here we go. This song is about while he was in the car making the decision to get out the car and see her, she was sitting in her bedroom, wishing he would make the move and go back to her and just pitch up at her house. She compared it to a classic John Hughes movie where both parties want the same thing but neither has the guts to say anything.... So it did kinda reminded me of Nayoung and Keun, can you blame me, no? BecUASE LITERALLY ALL THIS ALBNUM Oh MY gOD, This is so Bonghu and Sanchan breakup days too...

I wish you would come back Wish I never hung up the phone like I did, I Wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as I live, and I Wish you were right here, right now, it's all good

Like, shut up?? It’s totally young Bonghu and Sanchan, okay? Okay.

It's 2AM in my room Headlights pass the window pane I think of you We're a crooked love in a straight line down Makes you want to run and hide But it makes you turn right back around

Hahahah, I soooo I’m right, I don’t knowkkjl.

Bad Blood.

THIS IS CHIHYE AND INNA. OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS SO CHIHYE AND INNA. ALSO. THIS IS 7SINS TO JULIE. KKKK IM DYING. Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?‘ she did something so horrible. I was like, ‘Oh, we’re just straight-up enemies.’ .... 7SINS ABOUT JULIE, AND CHIHYE AND INNA ABOUT Hmm NothING THEY JUST BITTER (MAYBE BC BOTH MARRIED PYONGHO AND ONE LITERALLY FOR NOTJISNJKJ)

Did you have to do this? I was thinking that you could be trusted Did you have to ruin what was shiny? Now it's all rusted Did you have to hit me where I'm weak?

I mean Julie literally kind of destroyed 7sins so I can see the point of anger, and Chihye is just a bitch so yeah...

Band-aids don't fix bullet holes You say sorry just for show If you live like that, you live with ghosts

Yes girls, that’s why them, in the end, make peace with each other is all good SPB is the bitch here c’mon... And I mean Chihye and Inna were never “friends” again because they never really saw each other again but Inna always made an effort and still wanted Chihye to be alright? So it’s true she lives with ghosts, she went nuts... But I wonder now if their friendship never ended because off status and guy problems, maybe... just maybe... Chihye would have moved on for a better life and maybe even Nayoung wouldn’t have been born and things would be good. In the other hand, 7sins was built to break because SPB was poor and hanging by a string, so all that shit just was the point of the iceberg so it was fine judging Julie for a while because she didn’t take it personally and when things were revealed that it indeed was for the best, they didn’t share grudges and just moved on with their lives like they were supposed to.

Wildest Dreams.

We literally just talk about her, I mean Chihye is every tragic story about Taylor.. But, in a way, this could also be about Inna and Pyongho, or Lian and Chihye, it depends on the day. ALSO COULD BE OH MY GOD ARAKI AND KAYNKKKJ, yes.

He said, "Let's get out of this town Drive out of this city, away from the crowds" I thought, "Heaven can't help me now" Nothing lasts forever But this is gonna take me down

OH, YES BRING ME THE TRAGIC BRING ME THE PAIN BRING ME THE SAD AND MEMORIES AND LONG LASTING LOVE AND YEEEEAAAAH. I’ll shut up.

He's so tall and handsome as hell He's so bad, but he does it so well I can see the end as it begins My one condition is

This just applies to Lian and Kayn, oh what a combination. Maybe not even them because they are nice too.

You'll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night Burnin' it down Someday when you leave me, I'd bet these memories Follow you around

Yes, Araki and Kayn & Lian and Chihye all in one song. Maybe I was just crazy with Pyongho and Inna, I don’t know, I get crazy all the time. This verse made me want to answer one of smutty times between Araki and Kayn, because literally all they do is fuck and miss each other.

How You Get The Girl

Finally, you are here Haneul and Hyuntae, I’ve waited to talk about how much this song is them because... You will see it. First Taylor says: It’s written for a guy who has broken up with his girlfriend, then wants her back after six months. But it’s not going to be as simple as sending a text like, ‘Sup? Miss you.’ That won’t work. You need to do all the things I say.

Stand there like a ghost Shaking from the rain, rain She'll open up the door and say, "Are you insane?" Say it's been a long six months And you were too afraid to tell her what you want

It wasn’t exactly like that, but a girl can imagine and not everything has to be right. First, because that’s literally Hyuntae realizing he did things wrong and missed his timing to explain things, but Haneul is just pissed at his ass.

I want you for worse or for better I would wait forever and ever Broke your heart, I'll put it back together I would wait forever and ever

Like I said, it wasn’t exactly like that but it was pretty similar.

Remind her how it used to be, be, yeah-yeah With pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks, cheeks Tell her how you must have lost your mind, ooh-ooh When you left her all alone And never told her why, why

I meAN, I MEAN??? CmOn. I love the “pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks” because it’s so cheesy and so Haneul and Hyuntae when they were dating, they probably do have pictures like that on their cellphones and at a time Haneul’s cheesy ass must even have one framed to give to Hyuntae. AND YOU LEFT HER ALL ALONE AND NEVER TOLD HER WHY, cmOn, yeah?kkjk Also lost your mind, yes, it was the anxiety talking, not Hyuntae, makes sense...

Anyways, I love this cheesy song because the beat, the lyrics, everything reminds me of Haneul and Hyuntae’s relationship not only as lovers but as friends too, you know? Yeah *sobs*

This Love

Oh, it’s Lian and Chihye again. Okay, let me think... yeah, can’t... Yeah. Also I was just about to go to the other song, when I thought “maybe this is Taewoon and Hojin” and then all of sudden... This is also Hansol and Chan-u.

This love is good, this love is bad This love is alive back from the dead, oh-oh, oh These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me, oh-oh, oh

The sad melody, the way Taylor is whispering? I mean, almost makes me wanna cry because I love young Lian and Chihye just trying to survive. (( I also love young and innocent Hansol with wicked and confused Chan-u, how they managed to survive and still get married and shit? wHO KnoWS

Tossing, turning Struggled through the night with someone new And I could go on and on, on and on Lantern, burning Flickered in my mind, only you But you were still gone, gone, gone

Totally Chihye about being with Pyongho but wanting to be with Lian... LeT IT GO, GO IN TO THE LIGHT CHIHYEEEEEEE

Your kiss, my cheek I watched you leave Your smile, my ghost I fell to my knees When you're young, you just run But you come back to what you need

*sOBS*, this part is so sad what the fuckkkjk. DIE CHIHYE DIE I CANT TAKE YOUR SADNESS IN THIS ALBUM ANYMOre for god sakes. “when youre young, you just run but you come back to what you need” sounds like a board name,, OH MY GOD THIS COULD ALSO BE TAEWOON AND HOJIN OH MY GODKKKJK shut up ..... Hansol and Chan-u got married and Chihye is dead, get over it, life is good xd

I Know Places

I don’t really listen nor like this song, but the lyrics reminded me of Julie and Valak, i’m telling this album is about the terrible and twisted people. ALSO YURA AND CHIYO TOO BECAUSE THEY ARE GAY AND MEDIA IS A BITCH.

You stand with your hand on my waistline It's a scene and we're out here in plain sight I can hear them whisper as we pass by It's a bad sign, bad sign Something happens when everybody finds out See the vultures circling, dark clouds Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out It could burn out

This is also jenkai.

Baby, I know places we won't be found And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down 'Cause I, I know places we can hide I know places, I know places

For Julie and Valak the place is his car, that’s my theory. And Yura and Chiyo is just Japan... (jenkai is that park at midnight & jongin’s car). Oh my god, when Julie and Valak were discovered by dispatch imagine everyone like “valak drives?”

They are the hunters, we are the foxes And we run Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it My love

I’m addicted to this song now.

Clean

My god I don’t know 2/4 of this album. It’s... Hansol and Chan-u, now that I remembered of them I simply won’t forget.

The drought was the very worst When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst It was months and months of back and forth You're still all over me Like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore

See? I mean their relationship is very complicated, but according to genius this song is about getting over a heartbreak and moving on with your life to rediscover yourself and like Taylor said: When it did hit me, it was like, ‘Oh, I hope he’s doing well’. And nothing else. And you know how it is when you’re going through heartbreak. A heartbroken person is unlike any other person. Their time moves at a completely different pace than ours. It’s this mental, physical, emotional ache and feeling so conflicted. Nothing distracts you from it. Then time passes, and the more you live your life and create new habits, you get used to not having a text message every morning saying, ‘Hello, beautiful. Good morning.’ You get used to not calling someone at night to tell them how your day was. You replace these old habits with new habits, like texting your friends in a group chat all day and planning fun dinner parties and going out on adventures with your girlfriends, and then all of a sudden one day you’re in London and you realize you’ve been in the same place as your ex for two weeks and you’re fine. And you hope he’s fine. The first thought that came to my mind was – I’m finally clean....... Also, it reminded me of Haneul and Hyuntae.

Ten months sober, I must admit Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it Ten months older, I won't give in Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it

I’m speechless for both ships. Also they both risk it so... hHAHAJKk Oh my god this is so Kaili getting over Julie too jkjkk jeez But finally what she says in the end sends me: The hidden message to Clean is “She lost him, but she found herself, and somehow that was everything.” This song is not just about losing someone you love – it’s also about losing yourself. Being clean is about moving on as a person and really taking care of yourself mentally.

Wonderland

How many songs are left for this, oh god... At this point I can only point Hansol and Chan-u too, I’m tired I’ve written to much. But because too: It is a description of a toxic relationship, from beginning to end. It uses the story of Alice In Wonderland as inspiration for the highs and lows of enjoying this state of relationship wanderlust, irrespective of negative consequences.

Didn't they tell us don't rush into things? Didn't you flash your green eyes at me? Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds? Ooh, didn't it all seem new and exciting? I felt your arms twistin' around me I should have slept with one eye open at night

I seriously can’t take the Harry Styles on Genius anymore... You read this, you tell me who ship it is: https://genius.com/4254518

You Are In Love

I love this song *michael’s meme*. Seriously, ugh. Dedicated to all my lovebirds with a happy and healthy relationship who had been missing here because this album is so so very tragic and I haven’t got my time to mention them properly. Specially: Zeev and Eleanor, Kaili and Raye, Mark and Hana, Minhye and Jukan, Jinhyung and Kyungri... Who else?

Morning, his place Burnt toast, Sunday You keep his shirt, he keeps his word And for once, you let go Of your fears and your ghosts One step, not much, but it said enough You kiss on sidewalks You fight and you talk

This reminded me of Eleanor and Zeev...

One night, he wakes Strange look on his face Pauses, then says "You're my best friend" And you knew what it was, he is in love

And this... Minhye and Jukan.

You can hear it in the silence (silence), silence (silence), you You can feel it on the way home (way home), way home (way home), you You can see it with the lights out (lights out), lights out (lights out) You are in love, true love

And this... Jinhyung and Kyungri.

And so it goes You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round And he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown And you understand now Why they lost their minds and fought the wars And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words

Okay the “office downtown” reminded me of Keun and Nayoung... I’m telling, I love this song I just can’t pick one ship for it. Also this song Taylor wrote for her friends who are in love and this comment just cracked me up: Isn’t it much more likely (and adorable) to imagine Jack looking at a picture of Lena while he produces music in his home studio? kkkj

New Romantics

THE BEST WAY TO FINISH THIS FINALLY CAUSE IM SO TIRED. LETS JUST LISTEN AND APPRECIATE FOR God sakes its been an hour.

just appreciate me screaming the lyrics of this song in telegram when it cames.

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transmasc-malleus · 5 years

Text

Hey uhhhhh rant time

Sorry I’m on mobile so no read more

Living in this house is literally killing us. I didn’t think it would be this bad but we’re both sinking into a depression. My gf never goes downstairs and would rather starve herself than interact in any capacity with my grandma. I don’t blame her. I’m at the point where I’m resenting HER for things my grandma caused. I’m bitter that I’m the one who has to deal with it all, who has to fight her to eat, who has to cook and clean and beg her to leave the house. But I know it’s not her fault. This is her way of coping with an impossible situation, a situation she moved half a country away from when she left home. And here she is dealing with it again, except she’s actually afraid to speak back bc she fears the rest of the house will hate her. And I feel the same. It’s not worth my mental and emotional well-being to argue with my grandma or even just try to shut her down. It’ll just cause more problems. But having to sit there as she TRIES to rile me up, tries to get me to fight, tries to hurt me with what she says....is almost worse. The manipulation and the hurtful things she says, the way she aggressively dismisses me and acts like I’m an idiot. I just can’t anymore.

I don’t even want to hang out with my dad anymore bc all I talk about is how I can’t deal with her and it’s not fair to him when he KNOWS all this. But his only solution- one that only works for him cause she actually respects him somewhat- is to ignore her or shut it down. But unless I lose all of my self control, which I will one day, I’ll never be able to get the words out bc I’ve been conditioned not to through abuse. But now she’s threatening things that have no way of understanding her. Angrily suggesting I declaw my cat bc she acts like a living being instead of a stuffed cat. Yelling at my cat at every turn. Blaming every small thing on my cat bc I’m never around enough for her to blame things on me. Having her act like we don’t contribute to the household bc in her eyes “we’re selfish” for not always cooking dinner for everyone, or for wanting certain food to be ours only. I’m at my fucking wits end with her. But my gf is becoming too depressed to even leave the house. And it fucking infuriated me that she feels trapped in this tiny room because my grandma can’t learn to give us even a hint of respect. The fact that the woman I love has to stay confined and starving bc it’s too triggering for her to listen to the shit my grandma spews. The fact that the woman I love is having psychotic breakdowns again bc of the stress being in this shit hole causes her. It makes me want to pack up our shit and tell my grandma to go fuck herself and never talk to me again.

But we don’t have the money, we don’t have the means. So we’re stuck here. We’re stuck here and no one understands why we want to move out so desperately. I just want to scream that it’s all her fault and that I wish she had never had the chance to even interact with me as a child. I want to get angry and MAKE her understand that this has nothing to do with my gf and I. It’s not that we’re “too sensitive” or think we’re “special snowflakes” it’s HER and her fucking inability to give a single shit about anyone but herself. It’s her and her beef with us bc we don’t agree on anything. It’s her and her narcissism. Her and her abuse. Just like it was HER fault that I wanted to kill myself- I was just too blind and too manipulated by her to truly see it. She always blamed me so it must’ve been my fault. It must’ve been my selfishness. I must’ve wanted to tear the family apart. But not fucking anymore. Im not going to let ANYONE on this fucking house tell me how to deal with her. I’m not gonna let them tell me that I’m being unreasonable or passive aggressively act like I’m the bad guy. Im not gonna let my uncle make me feel bad for treating her with the same respect she gives me. I’m not gonna let my dad tell me “he wishes I could just learn to ignore her”. I’m fucking done I’m over it. We pay rent. There is not fucking reason we should be treated like children getting a free pass through housing.

There’s no reason I should have to shut my mouth and clench my fists to suit her needs. No reason I should have other people shut down what I’m saying bc “I just wanna start shit.” I should’ve gave to seeth in anger and start shaking from anxiety just to keep the peace. Why should I placate her when she starts every. Single. Thing. Why should I be the one to suffer because she can’t fucking shut her mouth for one fucking second if people aren’t paying enough attention to her. Why should I just let her call me fat and sensitive and just take her abuse? Why do I have to feel like I should be ashamed? Why am I ashamed to stand up to her? I just don’t know how much longer until I snap and then I really become the bad guy because I’ll go at her without any restraint. How much longer until I can’t take it anymore and I scream and cry in her face laying out everything she’s done to hurt me and keep me in my place only to have her call my a snowflake and go running to my dad? How long until I’m the one whose asked if it was worth it and I’ll feel too afraid to say yes. Dad said to my gf that he would choose me over him mom every time. He would kick her out before he would ever dream of kicking me out. But honestly. I don’t know if I believe that. I don’t know if I can trust my dad to have my back. And that fucking hurts. It hurts to feel like I’m always the bad guy by default. That I’m always the one escalating. It hurts that I get blamed for my reaction to her. That it’s ok for her to act this way bc she’s old and she won’t change. I don’t deserve this. My gf doesn’t deserve this. And I’m fucking done. I won’t placate anyone’s feelings. I won’t let her stomp walk all over me bc she knows I won’t do anything. I don’t care anymore. If I’m seen as the bad guy, if I’m seen as the instigator. I don’t fucking care. I’m doing this for me. I’m the only one whose gonna stand up for myself in this house. And if that causes tension? Fuck it. I don’t deserve to live in constant fear and anxiety. If that makes everyone else uncomfortable they can go fuck themselves for letting it get this far. I’m not gonna take it anymore. From now on I’m not fucking around. Im gonna take that anger and I’m gonna let her feel it. Let her know that she’s a monster that made me like this. I don’t deserve this.

#rant #vent #delete later #tw abuse #long post

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