#im so emo i could rant about this for hours but the whole bit at the ending..the whole mission | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

diggersofgraves · 2 years

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im just gonna rant for a little bit. content warning for domestic violence. for homelessness. child abuse. just me being emo in general.

i feel shitty. i feel lazy. i wake up knowing i have to leave my bed. i have to get up and brush my teeth. my hair. do my make up. find clothes to change into.

but just the thought of doing those things makes me so tired. after i do all those i have to go to my internship. i have to go to class. i have to go to work. then i come home and i have to work on my assignments. then im so tired and still i cant sleep.

i want to tell ppl. how i feel. but my childhood and pre-teen and teen years were full of people dismissing my emotions. any emotion just feels like an excuse to me now.

anything feels like an excuse. it didnt matter that i would come home in elementary school and find my house in shambles. glass broken. wooden table in half. my moms face bruised. that i would wake up to screaming and threats. threats towards me and my siblings. id have to run away from my mom when she was having an episode. that my dad made her go into that episode.

it didnt matter that i was homeless and hungry it was an excuse and i still needed to get top grades in middle school. didnt matter that my mom, still in her journey to recovery, said things to us that a mother shouldnt say to her children. left us forgotten sometimes. did her best and for the world it wasnt enough.

i didnt matter that i was in deep depression and had stupid anxiety attacks that my mom freaked out abt because they were too intense in high school. didnt matter that while my sister and mom worked after school, I had to take care of my nephew (not that I will EVER complain abt that. any child deserves basic attention, love, and care. i just wished ppl UNDERSTOOD i had these other responsibilities). i had to work on these stupid college essays and change that C to an A and join the soccer team to make me look good and make it up to my friends when I ditched them during lunch to cry in the library or an empty hallway.

because that wasnt enough. to tell them that i often isolated myself and spent my days crying. it didnt matter. that something broke in me some days and those dumb tantrums that my mom said i had and blacked out for were just a response to the stress and me not being able to see a way out of the whole mess that didnt matter.

and it doesnt most of the time. not even to me. most days i can live my life and everything from the past feels like a fucking pebble that i carry in my pocket and sometimes even firget about. but sometimes it all falls down on me. really heavy. and now the past is a stupid boulder and i have to carry it with me if i want to get to the future. it keeps me in bed. it keeps me from eating.

and i can only tell my friends im sad. but i cant tell them more than that. i cant tell them i feel it in my bones. i cant tell them i remembered something that I think my mind blocked out until now bc sometimes even I wonder if it really happened, if my mother really WAS that cruel sometimes. or if my head made it up in an attempt to villainize her. how its so familiar and makes so much sense that it makes me want to throw up.

and i cant tell my boss or my instructors anything bc its just an excuse. im lazy and looking for an excuse. but only if its me. if its anyone else, its more than that.

and then i sit on my dumb bed and everything feels fake and i feel like im a backseat driver in my own body and the only thing that can make me come back is pain and so i indulge myself a tiny bit.

and then i have to wait for this feeling to go away which could be hours, could be days, could be weeks, and has been years before.

and im tired and this is the only place i feel I can say it and not have too much consequence and disappointment.

#monzerath rants

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starlightinhumanform · 3 years

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wanted to do some worldbuilding for my Friday Night Lights AU. so far, the story has really only focused on Virgil and Roman but the rest of the sides are so special to me in this AU and I wanted to share them!!

Monarch Knights: Roman, Remus, Patton

All 3 have been best friends since childhood (Roman/Remus [twins] probably Patton’s neighbors)

Partners in crime (except a trio)

Remus= has crazy ideas; Roman: carries out daring schemes; Patton: gets them out of trouble

Patton who is the neighborhood’s sweetheart, who has the sweetest smile and big baby blue eyes and who has perfected the art of saying “No ma’am we would never dig a tunnel through your flowerbed” and fooling everyone

Present Patton: A good student, mostly A’s and B’s. Still an absolute sweetheart, still getting the twins out of trouble. Has more volunteer hours logged than any other student at Monarch High.

Very few see the alternative side to Patton: who blames his parents’ divorce on himself, who works 30 hours week plus school plus volunteering and who prays every night that he can get a scholarship to go to college

Present Roman: A good kid with a good heart who wants to make a difference in the world. He’s got a great imagination and a love for all things animated. Only problem is his grades, classes— especially math— just don’t click for Roman. It’s not that he’s not smart, he’s just not made for school. He loves football but he doesn’t want to spend his whole life doing it. He knows he wants to go to college, but he has no idea what he wants to do with his life. Even college isn’t a given, that is, if he can’t get his grades up.

Present Remus: An absolutely brilliant kid, could easily get straight A’s if he wanted to. Except he doesn’t want to, he hates school and he hates the whole system. He hates the unnecessary stress it puts on his best friends and he hates how unfair it is and he hates how it’s basically just a tool to train kids to get ground up by the cycle of capitalism. Nevertheless, he often tutors Roman and helps him with his homework because he knows how much it means to his brother. He really shines through art, especially in realistic gore sketches and graffiti. He likes to combine the two to spread his messages in a way that people can’t ignore.

Westshore High: Virgil, Janus, Logan, Remy (kinda)

Virgil, Janus, and Logan have been friends since middle school. All three of them were weird little outcasts and they just sort of found each other.

Middle school Janus: Stereotypical “baby gay.” At that point they didn’t know they were nonbinary and thought they were just a really feminine gay boy. Although they cringe looking back on that period of their life, it was really influential in helping them eventually find their true identity. They were outgoing, boisterous, and— despite being incredibly smart— was just a bit too noisy and distracted to ever get good grades.

Middle school Logan: Much like his older self except still deeply entrenched in his Pokémon fixation. He was usually very quite but once you got him started on one of his interests, he could almost rival Janus’ talking speed. Janus befriended him because they were both little outcasts. Logan liked Janus because their “conversations” mostly consisted of Logan sitting comfortably quiet while Janus chattered and Janus didn’t mind when Logan would start his rants.

Middle school Virgil: Textbook 13 year old emo who hasn’t quite figured out how to dress themselves yet. He repeatedly got in trouble for writing MCR lyrics on school property in sharpie. He didn’t mind being ostracized by most of his peers because he thought it made him seem more edgy. Unfortunately for him, Janus adopted him, thus creating their little trio.

Present Logan: Sharp as a knife. As smart as they come— school wise— but blunt and honest to a fault. He has a hard time connecting to people because he’s autistic; he has a hard time understanding what he’s “supposed” to do in social situations and many people think he’s rude. He is fiercely loyal to his best friends, Janus and Virgil, and always wants the best for them.

Present Janus: Their inability to focus in classrooms has created a deep rooted resentment to school in general. In the past few years, they have simply stopped trying to do well— something that often results in shouting matches between them and Logan. Logan thinks they should do more with their life, or at least have some sort of plan; Janus is just tired. Their parents are well off but rarely home— and know almost nothing about their only child. Janus feels most at home over at Logan’s, where they and Virgil are always welcome.

Present Virgil: Still fairly emo, except he’s gained a little bit more of a sense of style. He’s a smart kid, getting C’s and B’s without really trying. If he tried, he could probably get A’s but he doesn’t really see the point of it. As long as his grades are good enough to stay on the football team, they’re good enough for him. Football— and his small but close group of friends— are the only things at school he really cares about. Virgil doesn’t know what his future holds as giving it too much thought sends him into an anxious spiral. For now, he’s happy for things to stay just the way they are.

General Sanders Sides Taglist: ~ @centimeter-tries-to-communicate @bee-syndrome @fandomfan315 @cas-is-a-hunter @reggieleigh07 @mossdeemo @im-actually-ok @softnic @catolicabuena @queer-disaster106 @lunawolf89 ~

Friday Night Lights Taglist: @lcrnbw @amazing-creepyfloof @badluckkaren @athenashipsthings @chronophobica @icequeenoriginal @delicateherolightscissors @yourneighbourhooddisaster @sonny-ray-of-goth @captain-oats @thiswitchisgay-goodforher @elivampireboy

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surrealsunday · 4 years

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Ok so now that I recovered and processed it, im back to attack your inbox and I already apologize in advance for the potential spam. First of all THE COUCH PART: the flirty and carefree and so clearly in love but in even bigger denial UGH they are killing me!!!! I loved every part of it bc duh! But just the way they were so comfy with each other and messing around as if theyre the only ones in the whole world! And the fact that Lucas knew about the threesome thing killed me😩1/8

Them at work? Idk why but it felt different than other times more carefree (again using the word wow)and i was very 👀🤔 at the Jeremy situation i gotta admit, did lucas tell him off fully or what? Emma being all yeah hes happy and clearly being fucked well and Imane is there all 👀i wonder why hes so happy👀 poor eliott, but then when lucas got him coffee it kinda made me all happy bc he remembered that lil convo in the morning, hes so sweet but trying to act like hes not. 2/8

And Mika knowing about Elu and not even giving them a chance to deny it 😂 OH SHIT how could i forgot Lucas hugging Eliott in the locker room! Idk why but that part had me so warm! Like he really did need eliott in that second! then when he kissed him i really thought jeremy would walk in based on his amazing timing in the past but oh well! But the fact that Lucas showed any affection to eliott felt like such a big step for him! This boy is so in love, we love to see it! 3/8

NOW THE TRIP! I was sure theyd go either with the whole group/friends would “force” them for a trip or maybe theyd visit Claudine BUT THE FACT THAT HE MET HIS PARENTS?! BITCH MY WIG! GONE. I can just imagine Lucas freaking out, especially bc he was all “everyone loves emma!” About her meeting alex’ brothers. I can just imagine him being the same level of nervous if not more! But i was so excited that we met Eliotts parents! Especially since usually we dont get this side. 4/8

And Bas “walking in” on them gave me a tiny flashback to Tempo 😂 AND LUCAS JEALOUS! Hand on his thigh! Boy, its okay you’re all he sees anyway! OH SHIT HOW COULD I FORGET THEIR WEIRD WAY OF DECIDING TO SEND EACHOTHER DICK PICS 😂 idiots! Side note: JAIME THE TATTOOS! ANY PICTURE WITH EVEN A CENTIMETER OF A TATTOO!! MY NEW WEAKNESS AND ITS NOT EVEN REAL!!!!! Oh shit and the reason why he got the tattoos!!!! I teared up! I’m could see them getting matching tats later in life 5/8

Him being afraid of the ghosts and then the next day being “afraid” of eliotts mom and hiding under the covers😂😂 also the (no its not my own YANN) MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD! The dinner scene made me so soft but also feeling upset for Eliott like poor bby no wonder hes feeling like shit when he comes to visit his parents but then LUCAS DID THE HAND THING AND HELD HIS HAND AND IT MADE ME FEEL SO FUCKING WARM INSIDE MY GOD YOU KNOW HOW TO WRITE TO MAKE A BITCH FEEL 60 EMOTIONS AT ONCE! 6/8

honorable mentions: lucas saying eliott is different when it comes to standing up for himself it made me very emo but also it reminded me of the ugly doctor. Im loving the Brat/Average nicknames! Especially average always used so nicely. Lucas being all “you dont have to cuddle me but if you do i wont mind but you dont have to” ALSO ELIOTT REALIZING THAT HES FALLING and the ending ‘im glad i came here with you’ well fuck jaime just rip my heart out and take it. I clearly don’t need it. 7/8

I dont think i need to even try and explain my feelings about the bathroom scene..I think the fact that it took me hours to recover from this chapter speaks for itself.I was surprised that they posted eachother on their social media. I am also surprised that Arthur knows about them which made me a little 👀just fucking amazing! 100000/10 as usual! My new favorite chapter! I am in love! Every week you make me fall more in love with them! And ranting/spam is finished.. sorry🥺 8/8

💜💜💜💜

Don’t apologize for sending me your thoughts! I love them!!!

I love the couch scene too. I love the unadulterated flirtiness of it all. They’re both just super giddy and happy to be together and even though Lucas is still a little bit of his prickly self, there’s just a lot more of that casual comfort than there had been when they first woke up together at Lucas’s place. And of course part of that is how Sofiane treats the whole situation with a lot of ease. Oh and yeah - had to bring up the whole threesome thing because that couldn’t have been kept from Lucas and was also the perfect chance for Eliott to tease him hehe (especially because it’s very clear to them both that neither of them are the least bit interested in the idea).

There’s definitely more ease between them at work too. And yes, Lucas had a convo with Jeremy. He wouldn’t have told him off - in fact he would have been as nice as he possibly could about it (too nice) but this time Jeremy got the message because he’s put two and two together and gets that it’s about Lucas and Eliott.

“BITCH MY WIG” made me lollllll. Yeah, I really felt like they needed to get away from the hospital and everyone they knew to be able to completely drop their defenses and get a chance to really be together, and be a lot more honest about how they were communicating. So a little trip to Eliott’s it was! And that also gave me a chance to give you a lot more depth on Eliott and his background and relationship with his parents. You’ll get more next chapter.

Oh and you ain’t seen nothing yet as far as the tattoo edits go! My faves are in chapter 9 and the epilogue hehe.

I love all of the other moments you mentioned. I love just hearing about the moments that really got to you!!! Thanks so much for sending your thoughts. 💕💕💕💕💕😘😘😘

#long post #mood tattoo chapter 7 #mood tattoo fic

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parasolids · 4 years

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long mildly emo rant incoming this is supposed to be a readmore so skip this post if ur on mobile

the issue im having is that normally when people reach out/text or whatever it would feel good to know that i still matter to someone or another but now all it brings is dread but like it does help to remind myself i’m not completely disposable but like. someone reaches out and i see the text and im like man i cannot read this right now goodnight [forgets to read for days] [remembers to read] [realizes its been a week and theres probably no point in responding now]

like one of my teammates texted me yesterday asking if i had lunch bc if not he had his car w him and we could grab something and like, i had food with me but it was nice that he cared enough to ask especially because i have trouble gauging whether people are just being nice to me for social niceties but at the same time when i got his text i was like dang i cant read and like slammed out a response and smashed that send button so it wouldnt look weird. or i got a text like a week ago and i did not read it, then i went to sleep, then i did not read it again for like 2 more days, then i skimmed it and panicked and closed without finishing it, then i remembered that i had more messages to deal with, skimmed those, still have not replied to any of them but one and even that left me out of it for a couple hours, really the only texts i’ve been fielding are either my parents, my subteam lead, and one person who’s texted me like 3x ever - so like, the non social type stuff

like even when i know logically that i’m wanted. somehow i always can find a way to prove it wrong. existing is just exhausting and i want to drop out of life entirely and stop thinking. i think about dropping formula a lot just to avoid all these people and all the reminders that i’m no good at anything but i kind of have to stick it out so that i don’t further screw the team over by dropping. like man this weird streak of feeling like this has been going for aboutttt 2 months now and it’s surprisingly out of control. i thought i had it under control and it was my own fault for feeling like this but then i realized that even if i wanted to, i would not be able to fix some of this. the screwy eating habits? yeah i could eat and that would help but that won’t fix the instinct. the social stuff? i can make an attempt to be less mean to myself about it but it’s still really hard to just... do the basic Read And Respond To Texts even if i want to. thought i was doing it better in terms of [REDACTED] but then i realized i was just stopping one form and starting several others and that one’s actually getting worse. doing things and not staying immobile is getting a little bit tough but it is possible that if i fix the whole eating issue that one might fix itself too. this is probably not a good sign and i’m pretty sure it’s time to Take Action about it but like i just got my license in the mail and idk how i’m gonna get to walmart to get my money and by the time it all works out will there even be time left in the semester to see a counselor or whatever ?! aaaaah

#cactus.txt

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prompt-master · 7 years

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Coke and Stars

Anon asked: /crying slightly/ e-expensive headphones soulmate au

Hey so i uh fucking love soulmate aus? So im gonna be a little bitch and plug in my own where the night sky is blank until you meet your soulmate

– Michael pressed his cheek up against the cold wet window he was sitting on. Condensation rubbed onto him and now there was a smudge on the window between all the fog. He watched as water droplets built up and raced down to the edge, creating a little tiny puddle by Michael’s thigh. He sighed, which placed more condensation in place of another spot he’d rubbed water off. He hated the cold normally, which was why he was inside right now, his legs over the heater. But sometimes the cold against his face was the most grounding and calming thing, and so he couldn’t find the energy to move. Even as his face went numb. His phone buzzed, and with a sigh he looked down at the message lighting up the screen from his best friend Jeremy. He was leaving messages to him about how beautiful the sky was. Jeremy had met his soulmate today.

So maybe Michael was being a little emo right now.

He should be happy for him! He wanted to be, desperatly in fact. And deep down he was, Jeremy totally deserved a soulmate! And I mean if it was that sweet girl Christine they met today then even better, they’d make such a cute couple. So why was Michael still bitter? Michael released another sigh and lifted his hand, wiping off the window so he could see through it. As usual the sky was gray, dull, and boring. Anytime he asked someone to explain what it looked like, they said it was too beautiful to describe. It was annoying. He just wanted to know, Hell everybody did. A small part of him resented that Jeremy got to see it first, but then he saw just how happy the kid was.

Michael scrolled through the wall of text, secretly wishing Jeremy didn’t have to press send every 4 words. Suddenly in the middle of Jeremy’s “I’M CRYING IT’S SOFUCKING BEAUTIFUL” rant was a question Michael hadn’t been expecting.

“You coming to Jake’s party?”

Oh. He’s invited? Michael still wasn’t even used to the fact that he was friends with people like Jake, he still felt like he was at the bottom of the social food chain. Then he’d see Jake posting a group selfie with him in it, not just walking by but actually in it, and he’d remember his life was different. Things still felt the same though, he didn’t get much more attention and the sky was still blank but he had more friends to rely on. If only that was enough.

“Yeah, why? Need a ride?”

“Nah, just want my best friend there”

Michael rolled his eyes and smiled. He got up to get ready, he’d at least do his hair and wear something other than the hoodie he’s been sweating in the past month. He gave one last glance to the blank sky, the window fogging back up from the cold weather. When his eyes went to focus on his room door he briefly wondered if his soulmate was also looking at the grey sky.

Well he was totally wrong about that.

Rich was already at Jake’s party, he picked up a nice can of beer out the cooler and cracked it open.

He looked up at Jake as he shook the cold water off his hand, “so like how many people are coming bro? Cause this party is dead as shit”

As Jake replied Rich downed the beer as fast as could. He loved Jake and all but the real reason people went to his parties was for free beer. “Just about everybody who’s a somebody”

Rich hummed, tossing the beer can into a trash can from across the room, sighing heavily when it missed, “so is everybody who’s a somebody…nobody? Cause no one’s here”

Jake followed Rich with his eyes as he got up to put the can in the trash, “Dude you just gotta be patient ok? They’re coming, no one can resist my parties”

Rich scoffed, kicking back on his chair and propping his feet up on Jake’s lap, “oh yeah, what with your pretty boy charm and all”

Jake laughed, resting his hands into Rich’s leg as the shorter of the two reached for another beer “Richie don’t get wasted dude. There’s gonna be so many people here you don’t even know! You could totally meet your soulmate and you’re gonna wanna be sober when that happens.”

Rich rolled his eyes, but complied and handed Jake the beer so he could drink it, “I’m pretty sure I don’t have a soulmate at this point”

“You don’t know that!”

“Easy for you to say, you already have one!”

“Yeah, but I met them drunk at a huge ass party, now I have no idea who it is. Guess what man?” Jake paused to take a sip of his beer, pulling away with a ‘Ah’, “I totally regret it.”

Rich frowned, turning his head towards the window to see a blurred gray through the water droplets fogging up the glass. He nodded, knowing Jake was only looking out for him, but honestly he just wanted to get wasted and forget for a while. He glanced over at the door as the bell rang, and watched as Jake hurried to answer it.

“Chloe, Brooke! The life of the party! Come on in!”

After that more and more people started to pile in. Soon the hallways were filled with dancing drunk teenagers taking up almost all the living space. Jesus, did Jake invite the whole school? Every time Rich talked to someone knew he ended up looking out the closest window. He was giving himself paranoia honestly. And it was super fucking annoying. Each time he looked and things were still gray he found himself more and more peeved off. At some point he sat down on a big sofa and put his feet up on the table, his eyes lazily watching Jake push his way through the crowd to answer the door again.

“Jeremy! Uh…Marshall-!”

“Michael.”

“Right! Glad you could make it! Come on in guys!”

“Thanks Jake, sweet place you’ve got”

Rich rolled his eyes and turned his head before he had a chance to see Jeremy and whoever this Michael kid was. He didn’t want to indulge his stupid paranoia anymore, no more disappointments. Rich pulled out his phone and opened up Reddit.

Jeremy looked around at the flashing lights of pink, blue, and purple with a wide smile. There was something about the atmosphere of a good party he loved and even craved, despite not being able to dance. He looked down at Michael who was tightly gripping his hoodie sleeves, folding up the loose fabric between his fingers.

Michael looked up when Jeremy asked him, “What’s wrong Michael? You wanna leave?”

Michael shook his head, trying to ignore the way the bass of the music thumped in his chest, rattling his very heartbeat, “no way dude, Christine is here and I gotta make sure you don’t make a fool of yourself. And I need more blackmail material”

Jeremy laughed, “you’re the best dude.”

“Yeah, I know.” He put a hand to Jeremy’s back and gestured towards Christine with his other hand. She was doing a little dance by herself in front of the speakers. She wasn’t exactly an amazing dancer, she was more flailing and stomping her feet, “now you go talk to her. I’ll be by the snacks for moral support”

Michael waited until he was sure things were steady between Jeremy and his soulmate. Once he saw Jeremy join in the flailing he smiled, pulling on his headphones and heading over to the table filled with chips and snacks. He leaned back far into a chair next to the cooler. There were less people around this area and it was also opposite side of the speakers, so it was the perfect spot for Michael.

He reached down into the cooler for a coke, but his hands brushed against something a lot warmer. He snapped his head up, meeting brown eyes and a face full of freckles. Even more catching was the red rooster stripe in the boys hand. Michael cleared his throat and blushed, pulling his hand away, “sorry”

The kid shook his head and smiled, showing off an even cuter tooth gap, “no worries man! Here” he handed Michael the coke before reaching back in to grab his own.

There was a bit of silence, and the condensation rubbing off onto Michael’s skin reminded him of the window he was staring out hours earlier. He found himself glancing towards the window but found trees in the way. He was about to mention it when the boy cut him off.

“So…you like…ok?”

Michael looked up at that, raising his eyebrow in confusion, “h…huh?”

He shrugged, taking a swig of soda, “well…maybe it’s just me but spots like this are where you go when you’re upset at a party. I call it the emo corner”

Michael chuckled “Yeah, you’re pretty spot on there. Places like this and the bathroom are the perfect emo corners”

The kid sat down on the cooler next to him, giving a goofy but supportive smile, “names Rich.”

“Michael. So, if you’re here that means you’re like also upset…right?”

Rich shrugged, “just soulmate stuff…you know how it is” Michael felt his face fall, guess it wasn’t him, “It just feels like I’m never gonna meet them. You know?”

Michael stared for a while, Rich frowned “uh…maybe that’s not as common as I thought then?”

“No no no!” Michael put down his coke and lowered his headphones, giving his fill attention to Rich, “I so understand what you mean! I feel the exact same!”

Rich smiled, “Yeah? Sorry to hear that dude, at least we’re not alone huh?” He lifted up his soda, and Michael grabbed his back and they clinked them together.

Michael smiled down at the bubbling drink, “yeah…you’re right, Rich. Maybe I should just stop stressing about it though. It’ll probably happen casually.”

“Hmm…you know what? You’re right, and even if it doesn’t happen then that just means we’re too fucking baller for anyone on this damn planet!” Rich smiled wider at the cute chuckle Michael gave at that.

“So Mikey Love Boy, wanna tell me why you came here?”

“Ah..I’m just not used to all…this” he gestured around “I don’t go to parties often”

“Ah, get overwhelmed easy?”

He nodded.

“I used to be like that too. You wanna go stand outside for a bit.”

Michael smiled, sinking further into his hoodie. Now that he thought about it, the coke in his lap was kind of like the red stripe in Rich’s hair. If he happened to miss Rich, he’d probably taste like coke and beer, and judging by the little box hanging out his pocket, a small twinge of cigarette. Michael blushed at the thought but shook it away as he fell into an easy conversation with Rich.

"nah, let's just talk"

–

“Michael! Hey dude you ready to go?” .

Michael looked up from Rich’s face for probably the first time 2 hours to see Jeremy smiling widely at him, he must have had a good time. Michael yawned into his hand then stretched, “Yeah man, ready when you are”

Michael smiled again at Rich, “it was super nice meeting you man”

“Yeah you too! You uh…” Rich paused to scratch his arm nervously, a blush creeping up his neck, “you wanna talk again sometime?”

Michael nodded, shaking the can with Rich’s number sloppily written in sharpie on the bottom, “asap my dude”

Michael led Jeremy outside since the tall boy was a little buzzed still, he kept his eyes on the coke can in his hand with a smile on his face.

“I see you met Rich, looks like you two get along”

“Yeah he’s uh…hes pretty cool.” He opened the passenger door for Jeremy when his eyes caught on a twinkle reflecting off the red paint. “What the…?”

Michael turned around, half expecting the house next door to also be throwing a party, but instead he found the breath taken out of him. “Holy….”

For all the years Michael had imagined what the sky actually looked like he never imagined it to be this beautiful. The laid out dots of white that sparkled left his mouth hanging open. Each one accented the moon like an accessory, yet each accessory was it’s own little beauty. There were big stars and little ones, and the gray he’d grown so used to was a lovely dark navy.

“Michael? Dude you good?”

Michael laughed a little hysterically, he turned to face Jeremy with the biggest smile he’d ever had on his face. Jeremy raised an eyebrow ever higher, his elbow leaning against the down window of the car.

“Michael?”

“Dude!! Oh my fucking god dude I see it!!”

“It? Wait you don’t mean-?”

“HOLY SHIT!”

Both Jeremy and Michael snapped up to attention at the yell. They saw Rich on Jake’s doorstep, his eyes wide and staring up at the sky, looking like he could barely breath. There was a spilt can of newly opened beer on the floor, “holy mother fucking SHIT!”

Michael laughed again, ignoring Jeremy’s inevitable next question in favor of running back up the drive way. Rich turned his head back down at the sound of fast footsteps, and the instant he registered the figure as Michael he understood.

Rich stood there in shock and yelled out, “it’s you!!”

Michael laughed and wrapped Rich up in a tight hug “oh my fucking god it’s you!”

Rich almost cried, in all his life he never expecting finding his soulmate would be this happy. He wrapped his arms around Michael and lifted him up spinning him around, ignoring Michael’s yells of surprise. “It’s really fucking you!”

He put down Michael, who was still letting out a low laugh, he looked back up at the peppered sky, “Dude it’s so fucking pretty”

“You’re fucking pretty!

“And you’re fucking cheesy oh my god!”

Rich held out his arms, flailing from gesturing to the sky to Michael to the house “how did we not notice before?!”

“We’re idiots!”

Rich finally felt his breath catch up with him, “I guess that means you really will be texting me then?”

Michael looked up at the sky again, now fully aware his soulmate was doing the same, “I was planning on it either way.”

#be more chill #bmc #expensive headphones #fanfic #soulmate au #wow i worked hard on this:/

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compunctionjunction · 7 years

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11 facts about me

i was tagged by @1of1prism to post 11 facts abt me!!! thank you <3

(sophie i literally copy and paste ur old posts into my new posts so I’m probably gonna copy some of ur facts whoops)

1. hi my name is marina ((but that’s in my basic blog description so i’m gonna pull a sophie and give u 2 facts in one thing even though it’s CHEATING)) and I am...... a millennial sjw ...............smh millenials..............,,,,,,,,,,,,

2. I’m at uni and i study social justice stuff and also geography (migration...immigration.....urban planning....) and I’m pretty good at writing essays but i procrastinate like nobody’s business lol (yikes!!!) and i like to read (which i guess is good cause i probably have 200 pages a week!! not including when i have to read (a) whole book(s) ie english!)

3. I’m not like a masterchef but I can do a recipe i’ve never done before and generally have it turn out pretty good which is apparently impressive to some? i like baking with friends as a fun thing to do but I’m also really controlling in the kitchen so it’s probably not that fun after all LOL

4. I’m allergic to almost everything lol. including:

dogs, cats, any furry animal that exists

birds and feathers

dust, mould, etc

trees and grass,

some random medicine i dont know the name of (i didnt know this until like last year cause i went to emerg but ya thats a thing it apparently gives me a rash)

5. i’m an anxious bean but like under really like......inconsistent (?) circumstances? or more like uh....non-.......whats the word like when it doesn’t match what your brain thinks something it would be (WHATEVER) anyway like yesterday I almost cried cause i didn’t understand a card game but one time when i was a kid my little bro had a seizure and my parents had to rush him to the hospital and we had to call my grandma to come over, and like my sister was all !!!!!!??? boo hoo hoo and i was all like “gimme the phone i’ll do it”. like sometimes i keep a very cool head in situations you wouldn’t think i would and sometimes im a mess in a situation u’d think i wouldn’t be u know what i’m trying to say

6. I really like music but i’m not like that Musical Person friend. Like I listen to a lot of music of a bunch of different genres and time periods and in elementary/high school I played the trumpet (i also did piano and euphonium but like if u gave me one of those now I wouldn’t be able to do much with it whereas if u gave me a trumpet.....man). I really like acoustic songs, and songs with violins and saxophones in it, HARMONIES, songs where people’s voices go really “raw” sounding, songs where people’s voices have that like “radio voice” filter, songs that start off kinda soft and then BUILD!!!!!, and songs that have a bunch of different parts all doing their own thing but then they all come together for this multilayered goodness!!!!!. If anyone other than John or Sophie is reading this (bless your soul if so) and if u have song recs for me, like, lay them on me i always need new music

7. I don’t get a lot of mainstream references but I have a weird um...pool of reference material that I can pull from?? like i’m not like That Guy who’s like rly obnoxious always talking abt those obscure movies but my parents are both like from drama stuff and like movies/shows and are also huge nerds so i’ve seen like a wide array of genre-d stuff. plus i took a film course so i’m basically an expert. did you know that plot and story are two different things? Story is whe---

8. My family’s kinda complicated. (wow i sound like an emo blog in 2006 but i just didnt want to start another long rambley sentence so here we are) My mom’s side is italian and my dad’s side is british so my italian relatives weren’t too happy abt that (i just learned this the other day but apparently at their wedding my moms uncle [who’s a dick] was saying something inappropriate to my dad, who was like “uhhhh...” and then her other uncle was like ‘ay! tony! leave the asshole alone!’ LOL) and then the british side is full of drama and alcoholics lol. and then the communication in my like... regular fam is a bit bad lol ((also i have like......30+ cousins, (20ish regular and a shit ton distant but less that i actually know) and yet we keep in contact with each other so what a weird ironic twist that is eh))

9. I can like kind of swim but I also like can’t swim cause I don’t float even though everyones like “ya u do!! people float” i just sink down lol. tho i’m kind of practicing a bit every summer at my friend’s house. i also like to pretend that it’s because of childhood trauma cause i had swimming lessons on two (2) different occasions and they were both awful

when i was like 6 , and i refused to put my face in the water so my instructor was like “Right!” and shoved my head under lol!

when i was like 10 and i was embarrassed enough being like an older kid learning like... level 1 swimming right before these like 5 year olds who were doing the same thing (also in retrospect my instructors were only like 16 im pretty sure, like they seemed rly old to 10 year old me but they were really young lol) and the same thing happened as the other one except with diving lol. like i didn’t want to jump off the deep end and sometimes i would do it myself but at least once this girl pushed me in (basically every time either way they had to pull me up from the bottom which was kinda useless like if ur gonna teach me to dive whats the point if u dont teach me to come up from a dive right?? right)

10. I’m kinda quiet and shy but when I have the chance and am comfortable i go on HUGE rants and also go off on like 12 different tangents while trying to tell a story. like you could probably figure out this about me by reading this post but i just wanna let you know this isn’t a one-off thing just because it’s a Fact Post like i do this in real life and the way i talk is probably just as broken up and confusing as how i type!!! ahhaah

11. I used to be a hater but now I’m like actively trying to not be a hater cause hating on stuff for no reason is boring and liking stuff is fun (tho it’s harder in person cause i’m really sarcastic and pessimistic and i literally can’t stop complaining about things). Some things I stopped hating on recently:

Aesthetic things that are like “basic”/”simple” (i have an aesthetic blog now! who knew!) like pictures of like......curtains?? i used to be like “wow thats dumb” but man textures and also the weird mood that’s connected with your aesthetic it’s so calming

K-pop LOL :)

Honestly?? memes.

Boys apparently??? I dunno how true that is but @1of1prism knows me better than I know myself most of the time (but i still dont give 2 shits abt boys)

fanning over stuff in general tbh like.... enjoy things

people in a judgemental sense (im working on it....)

Intrigued by this post? Interested in my life? Check out my /tagged/about! Follow me on tumblr for more quality content!

(Jesus i’m done this legitimately took an hour)

i tag @purewhiteflames as well and i also tag @nuliflyer just to ruin ur “i’ve only been tagged once” so ha ha

#tag game #about #marinapleasecontinue

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