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#im so emotional abt this!!!!!!!! UGH
floofz · 2 years
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like yeah maybe seojoon WAS and IS the love of his life or whatever!!!! the signs are there!!! the ring under his pillow the heartbreaking kiss the way he prevented the glass from being broken and that shared look -- BUT!!! does it excuse the absolutely awful and horrible way he is treating him??? all this pain and sadness and hurt ok maybe jiwoo has a reason but i really don’t know man nothing can excuse all the pain he is causing seojoon. im a sucker and yes i want a happy ending and i REALLY want to know the reason for all this JIWOO!!! but idk if them getting back together in the end is even gonna feel good and right at this point, even if/when we find out the reason. seojoon, sweetheart, you really deserve better i want you to be happy 
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timothylawrence · 7 months
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Going absolutely crazy over what you find in Duke Ravengards vault. You have a weapon titled Ravengard's Scourger and it's description that states Ulder's own father was distant and Ulder had sworn to himself that he'd be better than his own father, but that once Wyll is born he ultimately fails and becomes distant from him.
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And then of course, the only other item in the vault is a 'worn and much-handled' journal that Ulder has recorded all his favourite memories of his son inside.
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Once again, the game hands you another cycle that isn't broken and all you're left with is heartbreak and pain.
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puppyeared · 5 months
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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neilphen · 1 year
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favorite george and ringo photos:
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extra one cuz it makes me feel a lot (fan favorite)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 month
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#so my mom's wake thing was today and that was a lot. not in an emotional sense but in a im standing here talking for 3hrs#to ppl i dont kno or barely kno. ya kno? but it was good bc so many ppl showed up to talk abt her#so many people. my mom made a huge impact on the school system. so many ppl relied on her. she encouraged at least 2 ppl to get their#master. for one person to specilize in helping the dyslexic after her experience advocating for 3 dyslexic daughters. she wrote and was#awarded a 10000 dollar grant for special needs and intervention curriculum. which will affect so many lives.#everyone loved her. she's gonna get a track meet named after her and a scholarship created in her honor.#she was an amazing person and she affected a lot of lives and im glad she was my mom. and she raised at least one jem in my littlest#sister who is so sweet and is a great teacher. god but there was some weird stuff too. were pretty sure her old boss was in love with her.#and there were some weird comments abt her being a strong woman or this woman doing so much and its like hm y do i detect a note of sexism#y not say she was an amazing person? y the surprise? weird comments about how pretty i looked. which yes i looked great lol. my funeral fit#was cute. we did bright colors bc it was a celebration not a dower event. and im sure it was ment well but it was a lil weird. and then#everyone was telling my grandma what a great job she did raising my mom and like god fuck off she didn't do jack. my mom was great despite#her terrible mother. ugh. but altogether it was good that everyone was able to express their love for her. it was def a day that was for#them mostly. i mean partly for us but mostly for them. none of us even cried. ay but we have 2 more parties in her honor#bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired#i wish i wasnt the most awkward. eye contact avoidant person in the room but like ya kno. what can ya do?#unrelated
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THIS IS HUMANITIES 11TH HOUR I THINK KIAN WAS RIGHT. THERE WAS SO MUCH HE COULD HAVE DONE BETTER BUT HE DID IT FOR GREAT REASON. THEIR RELATIONSHIP MAKES ME SO EMOTIONAL. EVEN THE ECHO OF SOMEONE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU, AND THE ECHO OF YOU LOVES THEM TOO. they COPIED A HUMAN DOWN TO THEIR BASIC CIRCUTRY AS A SURVIVAL INSTINCT AND THE VERY WIRES STILL LOVE YOU. ITS THE ATMOSPHERE. ITS THE DISCORDANT AND SAD YET YEARNING CORDS IN THE AIR AS THE SKY REDDENS. ITS A WISH FOR SOMETHING MORE, PRESSING AGAINST INEVITABLE GLASS, CLEARLY NO HOPE OF CONTINUING OR BLOSSOMING. A PAINTING OF A MEMORY THEY WANT TO BE MAKING WITH NO CONCLUSION.
#cw gore#cw blood#jrwi blood in the bayou#jrwi bitb spoilers#jrwi bitb#jrwi fanart#AAUAUGHGHUHHGHH SO IM RELISTENING TO THE THIRD EPISODE RIGHT. THATS WHAT THIS PAGE WAS DRAWN FROM.#AND IM AT THE PART WHERE. YKNOW. THEYRE ON THE SEXY MOTORCYCLE AND GOING TO THE TREE. THEY LOVE EACHOTHER SO MUCH. FUCK YOUUUU IM WEEPING#ALSO I MIGHT ASWELL SAY HERE. i remember listenign to the first episode at midnight. i was heading to sleep bc i had work in the morning#and i remember hearing rolan n im like awww hes such a babyyyy lil baby giiirrrl#and then i saw his official art the next day n i was like. no WAY thats rolan he looks way too cool and chill in that.#AND THEN. and tTHEEHHEHEEENNN HE GOES AND DOES. WELL. YKNOW. N IM LIKE DAAAAAMAMNNN HELLO SIR!!!! FUCK IT UP MAN!!!! YEAHAHAHA I LOVE HIM!!#OHHH and yknow what lemme say some shit about RAND!!!!!!!! 'i love you man' 'i promise i love you man' HE CARES ABOUT HIS FRIENDS SO FUCKIN#AAUUUHHHH RAAAANNNDDDD HE WAS SO READY TO DIE. HE WAS PLANING TO DIE. UGH.#ALSO I STILL LISTENING N I JUST GOT TO THE PART WITH KIANS SONG TO BECKY. SOBBING SOBBING WEEPING IM SO EMOTIONAL ABT THEM#RUN AWAAAYYYY OOUHHOOOOO JUST TAKE MY HAND AND RUNN AWAAYYYYY EHEEEM HEEM WILL BOY YOU SHOULD BE RUNNING!!! U SHOULD BE RUNNING!!!!#HEY hey cmere. cmere n listen. im workin ona lil music video. right. been chippin away at it for the last few months#its supposed to go along with tha song 'am i in heaven' by king gizzard n the lizard wizard#go find it. go listen to it. see my vision.#HEY HEY IF U REBLOG THIS. RAMBLE ABOUT BITB N SHIT IN THE TAGS PLEASE I NDEED TO HEAR OTHER THOUGHTS. GIVE ME UR BRAIN#ALSO JUST GOT TO THE KISS SCENE BTW. ITS SOO FUNNY TO HEAR BEBO FREAKING OUT LIKE NOOOOO NNOONONO N MAKING SOUNDS. HES RIGHT#'do you want me to take anything off?' DSHUT UUPP BECKY I LOVE YOU. WHATEVER.#OKAY okay im nirmal now (lying) imm gonna go cry. alot. hope u do too. pls enjoy myart
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andthen-light · 7 months
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okay girls im going to be a little hashtag critical here but i have been ruminating LONG ENOUGH and i really really do not like that scene in the graphic novel murder on the rockport limited where lucretia recognized the umbrastaff. i understand what they were trying to do and i understand you have to change things for the medium but its kind of a disservice to both lucretia and taakos characters imo. lucretia works so hard to keep the boys from questioning things like why would she have a reaction like that. like they couldve alluded to her recognizing it but a scene like that is so in your face and it takes power away from the scene in crystal kingdom where red robe barry recognizes it. and wrt taakos character like. hes never Particularly trustful of lucretia like on a personal level but overall he trusts the bureau and lucretia until reunion tour. adding in a scene like that at that point in the story makes no sense like u cannot convince me taako would not start questioning what the directors really up to and why she had such a personal reaction.
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sluckythewizard · 1 month
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SHHH SH HEYYY HEY DONT TELL ANYONE BUT... ive been workin on smth since BITB came out..... itsa lil musical animatic involvin kian and becky.... ITS NO WHERE NEAR DONE YET but loooook look im puttin lil screenshots under the cut. its supposed to go along with Am I In Heaven? by King Gizzard n the Lizard Wizard. infact yknow what cmere come sit with be bc ALOT of songs from the 'IM IN YOUR MIND FUZZ' album makes me think about becky and kian. oh my god. those two make me so damn emotional. like Her and I was the first one to rly resonate with me, and EMPTY was another good one, all just stuff about. yknow LOVE!! doomed by the narrative yet burning SO SO brightly in its last moments, holding hands, playing music, THEY WERE SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT THE COPY OF THEM LOVED YOU, AND YOUR COPY LOVES THEM TOO. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, CRUMBLING, BURNING, HISSING, SQUIRMING, MELTING, CLICKING LOVE STORY..
GET OVER HERE N SCREAM WITH MEEE I LOVE SCREAMING ABOUT THINGS
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#THIS IS A DRAFT that i made like. months ago. woopsie.#BUT IM CHIPPING AWAY AT IT AGAIN. IT CANT STAY UNFINISHED FOREVER. ONE DAY YOU WILL ALL SEE! YOULL ALL SSSEEEE!!!!!!!#no reblogs either this stays between US!!!!!!!!!!#and if you guys like it enough i might post an old fuckin wip i have all packaged together on youtube. its a VIDEO it goes w the MUSIC!!#SOUND WITH THE MOVING IMAGE?? IVE ONLY EVER DONE IT ONCE!!!#ill post the Lord of Lightning animatic i made on tumblr when i get the chance. in the meantime i ahve it posted on twitter. GO FETCH#but THIS SECOND ONE is out there.. all synced together..#but its a wip and its rough and old and scuffed and i HATE IT. my son whom i wish was dead#but you can see it. for the small small price of uh. begging.#also ouuhh my god i love becky and kian so much... they make me so emotional.. SOMETHING ABT DOOMED SHIPS...#even as the boat sinks these two clung together so tightly. they really really did love eachother so much. even after ten years of ROTTING#of sitting and waiting and wondering 'where is she?' is she lost? hurt? did something happen? is she okay? did she even want to be here?#does she hate me? did she leave because she hated me? she never wanted to see me again? where is she? where is she? guess ill write a song#FOR TEN YEARS. when i was just busy. i was distracted. so much came up. things got serious. my dream became clear and i had to chase it#i didnt know you were waiting. im sorry. i should have chased the thought of you more. but i was busy. i was just busy.#i wish that i could apologize with the throat that was my own. i hope this copy will suffice. i hope this copy will suffice. UGH
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munamania · 1 month
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real life drama moment eye roll sams apparently struggling bc he wants to move out and is touring this building hes been eyeing but his roommates dont want him to but also apparently theres beef and he just 'doesnt want to be friends with those people anymore' and he was really vague about what that was all abt and his friend group and who he wanted to even still talk to. and well. not my circus not my monkeys....... but im gonna go ahead and keep my feet in two lanes here does that make me a shady bitch. girl i literally dk any details and thats fine but like. idk whatever..
#personally me and ur roommate r fine so gonna just chill there and also thank my fellow dyke they went on a trip with#just for being a lesbian hashtag dyke swag (we met once and high fived over this)#again not my business but all i know is that apparently some of them planned trips even to where hes from over break and didnt talk to him#abt it. and i was like well did any of you just talk about spring break at all and he was like no. so. okay.. and then he talked vaguely ab#doing so much for them to try and make them like him again and i was just like well once again#did anybody in this friend group ever just like have a direct conversation about anything ever. lowkey. i said it nicer than that#and the answer is pretty much no#like ok blames not fully on u ig but if we had unspoken beef and u were adjacently doing nice things idk that id. recognize that..?#esp just with. the busy-ness of sams life. not trying 2 be callous#idk in general that group just needs to fall apart once again why have u known each other since freshman year#go to like. therapy. also. ok im sorry to be bitching abt somebody thats kind of my friend i dont like feeling like a two faced bitch#thats the gemini in me i guess. ahaha everyone laugh. but whatever this is tumblr dot com. also like the fact that he approached this with#ugh.... im feeling Complex emotions... and i dont like it... :(. im gonna keep it real idk that thats very complex#ur just gonna have to talk to them. a general them. whoever. 'well whats the end goal of that' idk dude u have to figure that out hello#abby talks
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sillybouquetoflillies · 2 months
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i keep thinking i rly didnt go thru that much growing up, but idk, everytime i tell someone abt my life, they say i did and kinda just like sit in shock abt it. am i just internet brained or smth, or am i just dramatic?? i rly dont think ive earned a lot of the symtoms of someone who was traumatized that i have. or maybe i havent been in a safe place for long enough to process things??? i dunno. maybe someday far away in the future ill figure things out
#i let myself sit n accept that i did go thru smth.. maybe that i didnt totally remember or that i blurred out the details of n idk#i keep feeling like an imposter n like i shouldnt be feeling it. i didnt rly like how ive been acting#but like also i let a lot of stuff out of the box in my brain doing that n idk how 2 put it back or deal with it#so now i just feel like a half untangled mess with 0 stability bc in that 'growth n discovery' period i realized almost everyone in my life#wasnt someone i wanted 2 keep around#so now its rly just me n my bestie that r close n i keep everyone else at arms length#how tf did i get on rambling abt this omggg#ugh i am srsly such a mess n i cant find the root n i think thats whats freaking me out the most#i hate not being able 2 explain why im feeling a certain type of way or justify it in anyway#i just wanna feel okay n stable n be a fun person 2 be around again!!!!#i wanna be completely independent but like.... everything is so expensive n i have no interest in anything that would pay well#i wish my sw stuff would take off but i think im too messy 4 ppl 2 wanna stick around n also i dont think im super attractive unfortunately#I DUNNO#i dont have any answers atm n its freaking me out#i either wanna figure out how to be okay with not having answers or to get the answers and solve my problems#n i also dont wanna depend on other ppl 2 solve them for me#i just wanna be a whole.. well rounded person who can take care of themselves n do what i want#while also being a cute puppy thats rly rly rly fun 2 play with n is super helpful n supportive 2 the ppl it cares abt 🥰#i am so sick of these silly dumb messy fears n emotions that keep me stuck in boring ruts#i wanna go out n have my own fun n be my own person n stop being so scared of everything!!!!!#its okay if things go bad!!!! its just more stories 2 tell ppl!!!! ppl love my stories!!!! ugh i just needa put myself out there#i just needa find smth fun 2 do that keeps me around fun ppl#i just dont know what yet#concerts r fun but idk no one super interesting is touring here rn n i need smth more frequent#ok i think this ramble is ovr#im rly sry if ur reading this!!!! i love u vry much n hope ur having a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!
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skitskatdacat63 · 4 months
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I wish I didn't feel horrific levels of insecurity/inferiority/jealousy/fomo/ego/etc etc about literally everything 24/7. I don't think I let it affect how I interact with people, but it's just this sickeningly insufferable feeling in my chest
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toastsnaffler · 4 months
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okay can we have a new rule that if you're my friend and know I struggle with rsd from adhd + you're planning on hanging out with mutual friends but specifically aren't inviting me for whatever reason. Maybe Don't Tell Me About It
#id just rather not know man. even if I cant go or dont particularly want to im going to get stung by it and it rly sucks#its a TON of extra effort i have to put in to emotionally navigate that information without overreacting and making it an issue#wait actually maybe i do need to sit down with her and explain this more explicitly. bc she probably doesnt rly know abt it#even tho ive mentioned it shes rly terrible at reading ppl and i probably dont let on much abt it anyway bc im used to dealing w it#ugh. but also its rly embarrassing to talk abt and ill have to tread so carefully to make sure it doesnt get misinterpreted. hmm#but itd be worth it if she stopped so. ill give it some thought#it makes me feel so unreal sometimes bc i cant always tell if im justifiably upset or if im 'just overreacting' so i assume the latter-#most of the time to give myself space to work thru the emotion and minimise the damage i might cause if i AM just overreacting#but then sometimes later on i realise that it was justified but its too late to bring it back up and anyway ive worked through it#and idk. theres smth self disrespectful abt it all im tired of making space all the time and never taking any up myself#im not THAT upset rn like this is a v minor thing but still. might be time to start nipping this stuff in the bud#aaanyway#im procrastinating eating bc i cooked a nice meal but now im not in the mood to eat it 😭😭 but i gotta fuel up.....#ill find smth to watch hopefully thatll do the trick#yawns so loud bye for now#.diaries
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sydmarch · 1 year
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spent months like I need prescription for my mental health give me prescription please please & now that I have it I'm like hm. do I want to have to take meds, actually
#part of it i think is just that typical anxiety that comes before any life change like s new job or whatever but also like#despite never having TRIED stimulants im familar w them i know people w adhd who are on them i had an idea of what to expect & thats what i#i figured id be getting but shes having me try this non stimulant option first bcus 1 apparently its good for people who also have anxiety#and 2 easier to get w the like Adderall shortages & shit rn#& im like ok i have NEVER heard of this drug before and didn't even know there WERE non stimulant options options.#like im doing all my research TODAY for the first time then pick it up tomorrow?#like me heslth anxiety girl just has to be like ok sure i guess. i had mentally prepared myself for stimulants & thats it!!!#i mean worst case i just try it & see if it works or if i have side effects but like. ugh. & i dont like that i dont like my np LOL like id#probably feel less uncertain about trying something i was previously unfamiliar with if she was someone i liked & trusted more#if i knew there were unfamilar drugs they might recommend to me i probably wouldve started over & found someone new to work with. AGHHH & i#didnt discuss any of this w her bcus it took me a couple hours after our session to think abt it & do my own reading & process my emotions#to really come to thia conclusion. & also i wouldnt have wanted to talk to hwt abt this anyway bcus i dont like her & have not felt at all#like cool w opening up to her beyond the minimum i had to do for the assessment#& my therapist is sick this week so im not gonna get to talk to her tomorrow!@#texticles#anyway i know ive got fellow adhd bitches following me. anyone try guanfacine did you like it or nah
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soldier-poet-king · 11 months
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Woke up >:( and it's like. Oh I need to LEAVE. I need to ESCAPE. Not even just The Parents now but bro1 is making this house actively hostile to life with the way everyone has to tiptoe around his maybe breakup and moodiness and like sure he's not actively aggressive but why are all my routines and habits having to be altered so he can mope and be angry and moody and sad and become an alcoholic and possibly give himself an ED because we can't just sit him down and have a normal human conversation nooo bc he's the favourite child and therefore we just have to wait and deal until he's *ready* on his own. Which has not happened in his entire 23 yrs of life. But y'know. I can keep waiting ig.
Like yes yes pot and kettle when it comes to moodiness. But I See Doctors. I take Meds. I take Responsibility for My Actions and develop Coping Skills and Apologize and Don't Take It Out on other people. I actually CARE abt people other than myself and how my actions impact them, even if they're ppl I don't like or who have hurt me before.
#also when My morning routines are altered. brain scream#but no i can just cope with active mental distress from diagnoses brain disease#so the bitchy little baby can mope and stay out all night drinking vome home and puke and then be a bitch#when he has to go to work at 6am#like ues i feel bad i liked his gf hes sad#but also. like. not to be like well hes apathetic and selfish and callous but ...#he also made a joke abt abortion at dinner yesterday bc our 16yr old cousin is expecting#and it was so awful??? she WANTS this kid???#ugh ugh ugh ugh#i have a horrible strained relationship with each of my brothers#but each one is a different flavour of bad or dysfunctional#and this one. this one. i cant even get into it.#i love my brother. i need a shovel to love my brother#my parents both complain abt their adult child younger siblings#and then like. trear bro 1 like this which will make him become an adult manchild#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#truly. i need to fuckin move out. i need it#ill lose free food and rent monies and free laundry and utilities and ooen backyard garden space#but oh my god the emotional toll this is taking on constantly tiptoeing peacekeeping#IM FORCED INTO LYING BY OMISSION. I HATE LYING. IT MAKES ME WANT TO DIE.#franposting#we're supposed to share a car all summer and commute together sans our father#i might just take the bus. even tho i have to leave almost an hour earlier#i don't trust him. or his moods. esp when mildly hungover at 6am. and without our father there to moderate?#this sounds horrible but im a little afraid. (plus i cant be late everyday all summer bc of him)#like. once again. fuck me. i am the ONLY responsible child and i get so much shit
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s1llycilantro · 6 months
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Normalize blocking ppl for the most mundane reasons. Just saw someone say that drv3 is a horrible unplayable game and immediately my finger just flew to the block button. I don't need that negativity in my life and not from an sdr2 ELITIST. I LOVE ALL OF THEM 🙁 THEY HAVE SO MANY CUTSIE PATOOTSIES HOW AM I MEANT TO CHOOSE.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months
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