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istherewifiinhell · 1 year

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Walks in covered in blood. Its as good as im gonna get it. okay

[ID from alt: Diagram trying to show the chronology of the Ultimate Draco arc of TMNT 03 with multiple time lines].

Full ID/Transcription under the cut.

The time lines are: Earth 3 (Usagi's earth, No turtles) in blue, Prime Earth in black, Divergent Prime Timeline in purple, Prime ~120 yrs Future in red, and Alt Earth (Present era, diff. turt[different turtles]).

Earth 3 contains only a "Leo Arrives" event and an arrow labeled "Adventure" towards the next event "Leo & Usagi Depart".

Prime Earth starts with a line break indicating the zoomed scale, and most of is labeled with an over arching "Ultimate Draco Arc". The first Event is an X with arrows indicating Leo and Donnie's departure (the others left off for readiblity). The next is "Leo & Usagi Arrive", followed by "Attempt to retrieve bros", and "Successful Retrival of Brothers". These event are aligned with ones on the remaining 3 timelines, "Half phrase out of time" and "Returns" respectively. Another line break indicates scale shift, and the years 2105 to 2125 are indicated in red.

The Divergent Timeline branches off from the moment the turtles leave "Prime Earth". It's first event is "Donnie Disappears", followed by a line break labeled "40 years", and the next event "15 y/o prime Donnie Arrives". In between the "Phase" and "Return" events is "Defeats (future) Shedder". An arrow indicates Donnie's return to Prime Earth (it is also erroneously drawn to the wrong point).

Prime ~120 yrs Future starts with 2105 "Child Falcon meets Turtles (Later Event)". A line break then 2125, and an event "Raph interrupts Falcon's Race". Inbetween the "Phase" and "Return" events is "Wins Race".

Alt Earth has only a "Mikey Arrives" event, and between the "Phase" and "Return" events is "Defeats 'Sliver'".

END ID]

i. have 4 versions of this time line. around me. okay. jesus fucking christ. i mean. i had fun. so thats what matterss????

#some shit #turbles...#[being deranged] hehe does that make sense?#this is not even the best version if i have to be honest is just. the most paried down with clearest printing.#truly i can only trap myself in the full lemme explain ALL the time goofery cause i dont have it in me to do it to anyone else......#except the renet bits even i wont touch that.#waving weakly to anyone seeing this from search. hi. sorry i used searchable terms. im having an. Graphy Day.#does ult drac have any fans. sorry to yall most of all.#and yes i am. hampered by doing this on paper the thing is i have no means of doing it digitally that retains its inuitiveness and thus it #would have taken 4 times as long and been uglier. cest la vie

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chisatowo · 1 year

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Watching videos essays abt political stuff is fun except for the fact that it's abt real life and it's not fun

#rat rambles #^ just finished a video essay abt trans stuff and is having a Moment™#Im ok just kinda emotional #and filled with rage abt everything ever but yknow when am I not #I rlyyy need to see if theres any lgbtq originisatons in my area #if theres one close enough maybe I could start vollenteering? idk #Im just anxious abt not being considered queer enough yknow the usual sorts dhndhdjhdjd #but honestly its more so abt my lesbianism since I have a very complicated relationship with ulit #like it makes me feel like if I bring up my acearo identity it makes my lesbianism less ~real~ somehow #like idk I wanna meet other queer ppl irl and I want more queer friends and I wanna be able to experiment with stuff #but idk why Im so scared abt the idea of having to explain myself #I know ppl probably wont care but ig Im just scared that if other queer ppl reject me then Ill have nowhere to go #or maybe itd go great and I could get a girlfriend like fuck man thats the problem xhdkgsksh #it could be the best thing thats ever happened to me but Im so anxious abt trying #Ive been so lonely and fuck man I dont trust myself to not let myself get trampled #sorry this got real personal real fast dhdkgdkdh again Im ok just emotional #now that I brought up the girlfriend thing tho I am going to be having gay thoughts while I shower so oops dhkdhkdh #idk Im still so unsure abt how I feel abt dating no romantic attraction asside like #again Ive never been able to experiment? and I also just dont know if theres anyone Id be willing to date in practice #like it might just be lonliness but it also could be me forming a stronger sense of self and better existing outside of relationships #and as such feeling more comfortable abt the idea of having more deep relationships with ppl even outside of dating and such #but again its all theoretical rn 😔#anyways I need to shower bro its so late #rat vents

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kirillmarchenko · 2 years

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#this is kinda stupid and very long but here we go #when i first started giffing they looked like dogshit so like i get that people didn't want to rb them. makes sense #but the more notes i got on them the better i wanted to make them right #and i think ive learned a lot in that time #but if i hadnt gotten any support on them i would Not have continued #so i think something that's super frustrating is when ppl complain abt rbs #and then wont rb something that their friends didnt make #and obviously im not saying you should go thru the entire hockeyedit tag and rb stuff that isnt for your team #but its still frustrating #my other thing ive been thinking abt is i feel so bad when i gif stuff thats not cbj now #like i dont fkn watch 5 teams consitently #bc im like no there are People for those teams asldfjslkfa #but then also when i was giffing a certain team more often #i got 0 help from the 'larger' ppl on here soooooooo #this is so bitchy im sorry #anyway if you ever make gifs for a team i follow and i dont rb them pls hit me or something #it prolly wasnt on purpose i just dont follow team tags #so put everything in hockeyedit and ill see it #this is not at anyone on here btw just general noticing!!!!!!!!

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mrfoox · 1 year

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People showing and expressing genuine worry about me/my well being... Oh... Oh um... I love what's happening here but I don't know how to accept it well. I'll be fine tho, thank you

#miranda talking shit #I forget some people dont know how i function. I will occasionally go off the face of the earth and isolate myself #When ive had an rough time in like any way my solution is to not talk to anyone and just be alone for 3-7 days #Not that i dont like people who reach out its just ... Like basically one or two people who wouldn't socially drain me in those times #Not you its me i just cant handle talking rn im sorry #I think im doing worse bc its hitting me a big change is coming to my routine and its scary. It makes sense i feel... Off #I know in the end it'll be fine and it wont be... Anything i cant handle probably etc but yeah. Its a bigger change #And i dont know the detials of how it'll happen just that it will so im /:#I feel bad for being drained and down about it bc nothing is technically happening yet.... But i feel so tired #Anyway people who i talk to whos asking thank you ily I'll be fine im sorry

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chrissturnsgirlll222 · 1 month

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second, never first

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - swearing, kissing, use of y/n, BOYS (no smut… for now lol)

word count - 1800+

NOT PROOFREAD

a/n: @matthewsturnioloswifey i have been trying to tag you in my posts but its not finding your account so sorry!!!

chris and i spent the night figuring out way to make annas blood boil, although in the back of my mind i knew it was wrong. i wont make any excuses as to say im in the right for doing this, but you have to see it from both perspectives.

anna only ever saw our friendship as a challenge. she always needed to be on top.

was i envious of her way with boys? one hundred percent.

did i see her as competition? never.

she was my best friend up until she told me to let the door hit me on the way out.

chris and i arrived at school as normal. we got a few stares from people as we were walking in together and we knew immediately anna told everyone. anna had a weird power over the school and could instantly start a rumor about anyone and get the word out, fast.

it came as no surprise me nor chris that we were getting dirty looks, whispered about and giggles as we walked by. this was all apart of our plan. prove anna right.

weird system i know but it made sense to chris. the plan was the ultimately just piss anna off enough to stop harassing us and give up. so we had to play the perfect couple act. for now were just walking in to school and ignoring the stares and moving on with life as a “happy couple”.

“ill see you at lunch.” chris says to me when we get my my bio class. he gives me a peck on the cheek and walks away.

see. simple.

lunch rolls around and we meet up at my car. “y/n your one hell of an actress, every guy on my team is asking when and how did i get you to date me.” he proudly says. “i guess im the best fake girlfriend ever.” i breathe looking straight out of the window of my car with both hands on the wheel. for chris this was all an act, for me i was living out my dream. although none of it was real. i knew this game we were playing was going to end up with my feelings for him stronger than ever.

“are you ok?” he snaps me out of my own head. “yeah sorry, what do you wanna get for lunch?”

after school my phone was flooded with texts of all of my now ex friends calling me a snake, a home wrecker and even going as far to call me a whore. while all of these allegations were true on the outside they could not be farther from the truth.

chris invited me over after school to continue helping him with history since he did well after i helped him the first time. i never anticipated the questions from his brothers.

“you guys arent dating for real are you?”

“how did this even happen?”

“chris how could you cheat on anna?”

“ok you two can calm down, we will explain.” chris says to matt and nick.

“were not actually dating, anna accused us of hooking up behind her back when we had that movie night this weekend. after that y/n went to her house and she was a complete bitch to her so were pretending to be in a relationship to piss her off even more.” chris explains.

“you guys do know how anna works right?” nick asks. “nick i was her best friend for 6 years, so yes i know she will try to destroy me.” i state. “well as long as you both know what your in for im good with it.” nick says clapping. “anna needs to be taken down a notch, i saw how she constantly treated you. all of the guys on our team always asked why you were never available but i now realize anna was constantly lying to them.” matt says.

“what do you mean not available?” i say. “guys would always ask anna if you were available and she would constantly say no. thats why no guys have ever approached you.” chris explains. “chris you knew about this the whole time and never told me.” i ask

“no one ever talked to me about it because we became so close this year. matt told me today.” he defends.

“im so sorry y/n if i knew she was lying to all the guys i would have said something earlier. i completely support whatever you have planned for anna.” he says.

“well thank you for telling me.”

me and chris walk upstairs to get started on the history tutor session. i get out my books and the flashcards i made for him. “these are for you. they cover all of the terms we learned this unit.” i breathe handing them to him. “thanks.” he says giving me a warm smile.

we work on reading the definitions for the flash cards and then i started quizzing him. chris was a fast learner he just never applied himself before.

“civil rights” i ask holding the flash card in front of him. “a right or rule that has to be followed?” he answers unsure of himself. “were getting there.” i smile. “can we please take a break y/n i actually might light all of my leg hair on fire if i have to do this for any longer.” he requests.

“sure, you did a lot better during the second round of cards.” i say trying to encourage him.

“your the only person who makes me feel like i can be smarter, you know that.” he says studying my face.

i just stay still as he keeps starring at me.

“what are looking at.” i say gently pushing his head to the side and we both chuckle. i get up putting away all of the study material and hop back on his bed grabbing my phone from his side table.

chris doesnt move from his position and is just sitting on the edge of his bed very creepily. “what are you thinking about?”

“you have never kissed anyone.” he blurts

“yeah. thats what your thinking about?”

“how are we supposed to convince anyone were dating if your a bad kisser?”

“what.” he is confusing me at this point. “i have to teach you how to kiss y/n.” he turns around to face me. “chris-“ he cuts me off “anna wont believe were dating if we dont kiss in front of her or anyone at school.” he explains.

“ok then teach me.” i confidently sit up.

“well for one you cant sit with your shoulders so tight. you need to relax.” he puts his hands on my shoulders. i drop them and take a deep breath.

there was literally no way i was about to have my first kiss at 17 years old with chris sturniolo. the guy i have been dreaming about for months now. i never anticipated being this scared for someones face to come so close with mine yet here i am, scared as shit of what is about to happen.

“ok just relax your arms around my neck.” he instructs. i follow his lead as he places his hands on my waist and positions himself.

inch by inch he moves closer to my face, i just close my eyes and focus on my breathing. “y/n you need to relax im not going to do anything your not comfortable with. i promise.” he pauses.

“im sorry, im extremely nervous ive never dont this before.” i mumble. i take another deep breath and my mind starts racing.

my thoughts are put to a pause as his lips fall on mine. i immediately tense up, “relax” he says pulling away for a second and goes back in. just a quick peck, this wasnt too hard.

he pulls away and our bodies separate, “are you ok with more?” he asks. i nod in response grinning ear to ear. he smiles and leans back in. he pushes his lips to mine and i move back, “whats wrong?”

“nothing i just dont know what to do with my hands.” i chuckle. “just keep them behind my head for now, you will get more comfortable with them the more we do it.” he says leaning in for more. we continue kissing and i lift my arms up behind him and gently grab either side of his neck. he grabs my waist with one hand and moves the other to my cheek. i tilt my head slightly into his palm and move my hands to his hair. he breathes into the kiss deepening it and then pulls back.

“your good at this.” i blurt out, almost in a haze aa i fein for his lips back on me.

“thank you.” he chuckles and lets go of me “im going to kiss you again but im going to add tongue. dont get intimidated, just follow my lead.” he explains and i nod. he connects our lips again this time the kiss is deeper.

we continue at a steady pace and he places a hand on the back of my head and i do the same. he smiles at my innocence and breathes heavier.

he slips his tongue in my mouth and i gasp at the new feeling and kissed him harder. i move one of my hands on to his chest and use the other to pull us closer. kissing felt like i was cloud nine. i loved it.

he pulls away and i sign at the loss of his touch. he just stares at me while breathing heavy. “am i bad at this?” i ask wondering if thats why he pulled away.

“no kid your great for it being your first time.” he says smiling. “do you think you got the hang on this?” he says. i just shrug my shoulders, he hums in response. “one more cant hurt.” i say eagerly leaning into him. he catches the memo and places one of his hands on my lower back and i hum into the kiss. i move my body slightly closer to his and put my hand on his chest. he slips his tongue in once more and i feel him swipe his tongue along my bottom lip. hungry for more i move my hand under his shirt and move the other on the side of his face and he smiles in to the kiss once more.

ring ring ring

my phone goes off and we pull apart, chris grabs it and shows me that its my mom calling.

any other time she could have called me and she picks right now?

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @accio326 @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry @stunza @realuvrrr @jennss23 @tubl-mc

a/n: who enjoyed that oneee????

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fairytaleliving · 1 year

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Ramshackle’s Freshman PT.3

Slams hand on table SUNNYS BACK

Head empty but its time I bring back attention to my s o n

first things first

scary dog privilege

and im not talking like from leona or floyd or anyone like that

but like from yuu themselves

yuu is the sole beast tamer of the school having grim by their side and basically befriended all the ghosts in the entire college

like cmon man a magicless student survived several overblots and befriend the ppl who overblotted? must be a saint or something

everyone says malleus is the most powerful person in twst but nope its yuu

Savanaclaw A: How lame do you have to be to be sorted into Ramshackle?

Yuu, standing behind Sunny with a menacing aura around them: listen here you little shit-

Yuu didn’t think they get too attached to Sunny but considering they basically live together and hang out on a nearly 24/7 you get protective real quick. Yeah, Yuu has a responsibility as Sunny’s dorm leader, but considering that the two of them are the only two human residents in the entire building, they’re basically equals. The only time Yuu hangs it over Sunny’s head is when he’s being annoying.

Yuu in the middle of an argument: As you dorm leader I have the high ground!

Sunny: Since when do you care about being a dorm leader??!?!

okay but i lowkey have a feeling that yuu would drag sunny to every dorm leader meeting.

because like its literally only one person and yuu already brings grim so why not bring sunny

what are they gonna do? kick them out?

they could try but yuu is gonna fight someone if they do

ramshackle doesn’t have a whole hoard of students in their dorm so might as well being the only other student in the mix

sunny does get a bit smug about being the only student besides the dorm leaders to know what goes on in these meetings

Ace, grabbing Sunny’s arm: Dude you gotta tell me what goes on in those meetings.

Sunny: Sorry man but it’s off with our heads if I say anything

Yuu, knowing very well that the Riddle invited Sunny to tea: Yeah you should listen to Sunny

Speaking of Ace-

I’m pretty sure that Sunny would hang out, or at least be friends with the first years.

like the first years probably hover over yuu so they would have to be used to sunny or yuu’s previously stated scary dog privilege would happen

like jack would invite him to morning runs and ace and deuce use sunny as a shield against riddle

sunny probably has his own gang of friends to be with but the first years hit different you know

unless sunny’s friend group are the first years 2.0 and its basically yuu and the other pt 2

i like to imagine sunny has the common sense here bc cmon now

if you live in ramshackle you have to be built different

I also like to think that Sunny would grow fond of Ramshackle. Not only because its his home but there’s a charm to it you know?

it may look ratty and some of the walls are losing their wallpaper but its still something right?

he gets his own room and doesn’t have to share it with any other roommates to tell him to clean yuu still does bc its the responsible thing to do but they wont enforce it

theres also like a lot of open space to do whatever they want inside and outside?

like if you think abt it

since ramshackle is so shabby, they could decorate it however they want without complaints bc they’d be fixing the damn dorm and making it look like its not on the verge of collapse

like would crowley complain abt neon green walls if its at least better than the peeling wallpaper? probably but yuu would talk shit so he wouldn’t

anyways head empty so enjoy the sunny content

#sunny.yuu #ramshackle #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland yuu #twst yuu

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meatriarch · 2 months

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overview cont. i guess lmao. no one asked but its been something in the back of my mind for a while now & i got an anon tonight telling me i come off intimidating and i feel the need to just. make note of some things so that hopefully if anyone feels a certain way with how i run this blog then like. know and understand both my side as well as that my dms / disc is open for anyone to pop into -- just obv depends on the headspace at the time.

i know this is long & am sorry if it doesnt make sense but. just setting it gently out there.

but, again, my disc ( same as my url ) is open for any mutual. its open to shoot the shit. open for plotting. open for memes. what have you. i may not always get to every message. i may not be in the headspace for certain things or certain energies. but its open for anyone as long as we are mutuals & if handles are different between here & disc then i just get a heads-up abt who you are so i know lmao

likewise, i am fairly fucking slow writing-wise and alot of that is because of offsite issues chipping into me but also because most, if not all, of the things i DO have in the inbox or drafts are from my affiliates at this time ( tho i do have some more from the archive i need to move over from a couple people ). alot of my spoons and drive to write and post is because of the dynamics and plotting built between our muses. im not a blog centered on plotting but, it does help to have a better idea on how to navigate between muses c: esp for those technically outside of my kiddos' texas canon obviously. that being said, anyone is welcome to like any inbox calls i put out there. and my inbox is always open and accepting, even if i havent reblogged prompts in a while -- i have my tag linked on my pinned and its available always & for whomever. it just comes with the understanding that i may take a while to respond to them & they may not get as expansive as some of my posts can get with my affiliates; which again, is just simply from how much we've been building together that helps with that!

on that note. my connections with my texas pals are very dear to me. both ic & ooc. as i noted in my overview post, i talk about the dynamics we've built openly and freely here because theyre so integral to my portrayals. they & their kiddos have my entire heart and i unapologetically love having fun with them and going on tangents with them and bouncing thoughts off of each others posts on the dash.

my experiences in other corners of tumby rp have not been particularly kind. and its been a long time since ive felt comfortable especially ooc with writing partners. and i understand if i may come across closed off or intimidating or unapproachable. i understand if i also come across partial to them / play favorites because frankly... i am. i do. thats because they've built bonds not just between characters but also with me. ill be very transparent and say that i am very particular in who i get close with and that translates into here too. but thats also just something that easily can also happen with literally anyone. again i do understand if i come across closed off in any sense but genuinely? im not scary and i have options open for continuing to grow more connections with people c: theyre open always. what im not going to do, however, purely out of personal experience is chase after interactions. the last fandoms i wrote in i did so and it wore me down into my last hiatus. i will show equal enthusiasm to whats given. but i wont fish for it, either. its just not my cup of tea.

i like to think im fairly patient and understanding in a lot, probably moreso than i should in some cases -- sincerely though if theres issues know that im fine with it being brought up. but im also not going to be welcoming nor tolerate my boundaries being disregarded or disrespected, im already dealing with that with an offsite friend. not dealing with it here. i do not like feeling so uncomfortable existing on my own blog or in my own disc. and i get that already with my personal disc & this offsite friend in particular. im not dealing with it here too.

which on that note, i also wont be receptive with issues regarding what i post, what i talk about, who i write with, who i choose as affiliates or mains or w/e. my blog & my dash are my safe & comfort zones and these muses often help me alot with navigating when my headspace is at a fucked up level. if any of that is a concern yes youre welcome to come to me and talk it over but end of the day? my comfort & mental state is a priority to me. if thats ever an issue i truly would just recommend you do what you feel is best for you. everyone existing on this hell-plane are entitled on curating their space in whatever manner they see fit.

again. i promise im not scary. im not an ass. but i do curate my space to be in my best interest and at my age & experience across the 10+ yrs ive been rping on and off here, ive seen alot, heard alot, experienced alot. i do apologize however if i do come across unapproachable or intimidating. i do apologize if i seem closed off to only a select few. i dont mind if you follow / we're mutuals solely just to keep up with what i write! thats completely okay too and i thank those who are <3 but if i seem unapproachable i literally just gently gesture again to my disc or prompts tag etc! i welcome any to get to know myself or my muses. regardless of how much time has passed since following one another. just again, comes with the understanding that my social battery & headspace often does work against me. and thats not personal against anyone, ever.

#[ 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘦. ] ── * psa.#im hoping this all reads fine and w/e cause im fist-fighting with a headache rn but.#just to hopefully idk. make a few things known? i guess? transparency a bit? again i promise im not a scary person lol but i am just.#careful with alot of avenues. and i get this post is also fairly rigid in tone most of the way but im. pretty tuckered out by alot #and being known as like... intimidating is something i have personal issues with re: old friends offsite. so. trying to state what i mean #as direct hopefully as possible.

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brightlotusmoon · 6 months

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Hey there, big fan of you and your fanfiction and I just need to get this out and “vent” about this to someone, and I feel like you may be the only one to understand and validate this opinion lol.

In the tmnt 2003 series it just ANNOYS ME so much on an unreal level how Mikey gets treated by the show writers. One that really annoys me is just SAINW and the good genes arc. Good genes for obvious reasons, we were robbed basically of that whole thing by them changing Donnie to be mutated instead of Mikey, but I never saw anyone mention SAINW’s potential before.

I CONSTANTLY see the statement “Mikey adds nothing to the team” and its just because THEY NEVER SHOW IT!! THATS WHY!! His role is supposed to be the heart and the glue that keeps the team together. The one that brings light in their dark ass lives. They had the perfect opportunity to do this in either good genes or SAINW and they blew it. Everyone knows Donnie has a role to play, so why not let Mikey be teleported to that future instead and have him be the one out of time. It just makes so much more sense to have that, to actually SHOW people the role he plays in the team and family. He could still even be a badass in that episode if they wanted, but just let him and his audience have that moment of realization in his importance. It could have worked for Good Genes too!! I just dont get why they barely let Mikey do shit or have any angst moments when others get plenty of it. And yea I know Laird was in control of the whole thing and Don was his favorite so that obviously means angst nepotism but still. Its just frustrating to see how people wont look at the bigger picture to see how important he really is. Its just UGRHHHH!!! Its even worse that 2003 is most peoples goto for the franchise whenever 2003 themselves rarely did Mikey any justice!! Its like I have to resort to fanfiction instead of canon because they actually just GET IT more than the writers do. Like I feel like Im going insane on this topic to the point Im ranting to my therapist about it because of my ocd compulsions and reassurance seeking includes this shit.

Im really hoping mutant mayhem will be different since Seth Rogen’s favorite is Mikey, so hopefully he will actually do him justice; with his works being Invincible and The Boys, im having high hopes for the writing capabilities of him. Here is to hoping if that it is the case then MM becomes the status quo.

Sorry for the rant, this has been on my mind for fucking ages and I feel you might be the only other one that I can say this to lol.

Awww, you remind me a little of me back in 2016 when I started this Tumblr as a literal storage place for ideas on exploring Mikey's psychology.

We DO have to resort to fanfiction! It's actually been that way since the late 90s. Uh. I helped start it. Got diagnosed with ADHD, looked at 2003 Mikey, went "guys hear me out" later got diagnosed autistic with the help of the people who coined neurodivergence, looked at 2003 Mikey and his brothers again, went "Sure, it's all of them!" and sat on it for years before writing it here.

In that time, there cropped up some writers who just really preferred to play with his silly side more than the rest of him, especially after 2012. I think we're going to cycle around to more 03 fanfiction pointing out Mikey's unspoken skills beyond mouthy, crafty, irritating, or weird.

That reminds me, I have a chapter to write from Leo's viewpoint on that.

#i created this Tumblr because of Michelangelo

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imeverywoman420 · 8 months

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Can u give like more examples of things u didn’t relate you sorry I’m just interested lmao

Like any post about girlhood and growing up with gendered expectations and stuff. Being told not to sit a certain way or that girls dont do things like that. Cant relate. And i know that i should be HAPPY about that right? Well in some ways i am. But in other ways it makes me feel like its hard to relate to women. And like im bad at being a woman for not experiencing these things.

Never happened to me. Never once ever in my life has anyone said anything like “you wont find a husband if you do x y z”. Never once was i pressured to get a boyfriend or find a man or even asked abt that. “Being a girl is having to clean the house while your brothers get to relax and having to help the women in the kitchen at thanksgiving while your male relatives watch tv” never experienced anything of that sort either. “One day youre just a kid the next day boys are snappjng your bra strap and cat calling you” when i was 13 i hated myself for how badly i wanted that to happen. I felt broken asf like THOSE ARE BAD THINGS WHY WOULD YOU WANT THAT WHORE. WHATS WROMG WITH YOUUU.

i feel this sense of guilt for not being able to relate to these experiences

#Ask

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kirai0daisy · 7 months

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Henlo! So I'd like to ask something of my favourite blorbo, Zhask!

Maybe... something fluff in relation to how many god awful food puns he makes.

IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAİTİNG I WAS SO BUSY PLEASE FORGİVE ME 😭

Zhask X (gender is your choice)!Reader Headcanons

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

!Warnings: ANGST, THİNGS ABOUT BLOOD, WARS ETC. PLEASE DONT READ THİS İF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WİTH THOSE

Not really warnings: Fluff, Soft-side, comforting

• ZHASK knows you from the very start of the Kastiyan's terrors.

• He is not a man for to fall in love that much fast, he needs time. A lot time- but since Kastiyan's are immortal (:cant die) he haved his a lot time and finally felled(?) in love with you.

• It would be a lie if you said you didnt haved feelings for Zhask,

but you are smart enaugh to not show/tell it to him/someone else.

• 'Cuz real bad things would happen if someone know that.

• How did you guys became a couple? Well after a long time, Zhask falled in love with your fighting style, your smartness(/battle intelligence), your personality and etc.

• So he becams more soft to you. At least when nobodys around. And one day when he called out for you. And you couldnt help but think, did you did something wrong? Did you maked him angry??

• What you didnt know was it was wayyy quite opposite. He just asked you what you feel for him and you said things like 'his strongness, his leadership and etc.' but you both know this is was not everything.

• So Zhask maybe a little bit rather roughfully maked you said everything you feel for him "I.. Like everything about you. I know ım just a warrior that fighting above your leadership but feelings cant controlled..." after some seconds of silence, you continue "Im really sorry for feeling this way, I'll accept everything as punishme-" the words Zhask said shocked you "Alright I accept your date offer but anyone will.not know about this. Alright?" You looked at him shocked but then come to your senses "Alright le-" "Zhask. Or any-thing-else in closed doors"

•After yall became a couple that no one knows both you guys life turned into more.. Colorfull.

• Like every-other-else you are one of the Kastiyan's after all

and uour duty is simple; just fight with other planets, kill people and take their home. Simple as that, right?

• It's not like you have another choice anyways, but still this is your duty. But you cant help the little bit of guilt and sadness whenever you take someone's innocent life.

• But whenever you do that, Zhask will be wait to comfort you. His arms are always open to hug you when he sees the sadness in your eyes.

• Homever he literally hates PDA (:Means affection (hugging, kissing, holding hands and etc.) something like that) So he wont hug you in open-public. This does not means he wont comfort you by the words till you guys are out there.

• Anyone cant hear his words of affection tho, he only says it aloud for you to hear. And when you guys go to closed doors, he will make his awful jokes. Like plz. I know this man is trying to make you laugh but what are theses jokes 💀

• Not only I realizs that after request, he would really make awful jokes. İts literally canon. This man doesnt know anything about funny-ness(???) so his attempt to make you laugh is not how good his joke is, how awfully bad his joke is.

• "What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business" He doesnt either knows if its funny or not. He just.. Says it. You dont know where Zhask found those jokes from tho- he says its a secret. And he says jokes in a veryy monotone tone. So the reason why you are laughing is not how funny his joke is, how awful the joke is and how he sounds like.

• But It doesnt matter to him if his jokes are awful. The thing matter to him is your laugh. Your sweet little laugh that makes him butterflies in his stomach and also makes him smile too.

• Even if you tell him to stop he will just say more because you are laughing "Pff- Cant you at least tell me a better joke?" "Theres only one thing thats better than a good joke: a joke so bad that it’s good" and you will just laugh at how awful his jokes are.

This man can race with Cyno bc of how bad their jokes are- Idk who would win tho..

• He doesnt think about his bloody-messed past when he is with you. You are like a relaxed music to him after a tired day, listening while laying. Yes you really make him feel that much nice. You are his everything.

• So why wont he say jokes even if they are really bad that can make a fish drown in the sea because of how much they laughed and water got their lungs-...... You didnt read that but what Im trying to say is he doesnt care what he is doing or saying if he got to see/listen your smile/laugh.

• The thing matter to him is.. You<3

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Cyno:

And my dear Hoshino Ai gif again<3

Please take care of yourselfs! And I hope yall have a nice day :3 Im taking any kind of requests so please dont shy to say any of it<3

#mlbb #mobile legends #mobile legends bang bang #mlbb x reader #mobile legends x reader #zhask

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futchgunk · 1 month

Text

okay if i dont talk about this somewhere im gonna explode

im so fucking cut up about finding my headphones on my neighbor on the T, and having not contacted me about them at all!! They were a present from my lover and i didnt even recognize them as lost bc i thought i could trust my neighbors to be like 'hey these wireless headphones showed up at this house, are these yours we r trying to find the owner'. This was extra damaging for me bc i get really sensitive abt losing things bc of my biomom so like i didnt want to confront me losing a gift my lover got me, esp when i didnt even know where to start looking.

This is the same group of people who i was ostracized by and the biggest reach of support to me during my ostracization was 'im so sorry this is happened/happening to you'. It feels so transphobic!! it feels.. racist??!! it feels like transmisogynoir coming from the tranny eggpunk band AND the tranny hardcore band. like i feel like never knew these people that ive been hanging around with for a year+. i feel like all the love, time, and energy i had was just me making a clown out of myself to entertain more white people. like i got so enraged and upset about this i had to ask my alter to front so i could avoid exhausting myself crying over it and feel some sense of control/stability.

im so angry and a lost rn. as a tpoc im noticing my survival (social confirmity) to bend and shape myself to accomodate white fragility and im so sick of it. like i feel like social injustice has been done to me and instead of talking about it or feel any sense of catharis, i have to swallow hot viscous, bile and choke the tears down, say i dont feel degraded, pick up my pieces and find more koolaid to drink.

like if im gonna get demonized by both majority society and non-marginalized society, i might as well be where i wanna be and do what i wanna do and look how i wanna look because it wont fucking matter what everyone else thinks im just a rock too heavy to hold on to; a demon unwelcome en masse.

it hurts so much bc im trying to be a voice for community and community praxis. like i want to be able to help anyone if someone asks. welcome newcomers and oldtimers. i want to dissipate structures in your life, if even just for a moment. if i could make you a meal just so you could use the time for meal prep for whatever you wanted. i want to do your chores for you, if youre okay with it, even if we have never talked about it. i want to help you move along your life-goals/journey/passion. if you told me an arbitrary action would bear fruit for you, i will treat the soil and sew the seeds, not caring about whether or not i would get any fruit.

theres a feeling that im trying to describe. when youre held so still and taut and exhausted. so flush with exertion that you would cut your strings/supports just to feel the cool rush of air just for a moment, unthinking about how far the fall is. but you just one some semblance of control, an iota of self-determined significant action, no matter the magnitude of (perceived) self-destruction.

idk i would start all over again and make new friends but that means that transmisogny wins again?!! in my own fucking backyard!! transgirls can be complicit in transmisogny and the black transgirl is the victim!! how rich??!! right before the whipping girl reading group how fucking ironic.

#u can interact w this post #im gonna talk to my best friend about this on thursday #im feeling like i never wanna go to any koqueen or nursejoy gig ever again #i wanna go to the next koqueen and yawn throughout the set and burn my shirt #i think i would have so much more fun at ska shows or raves #transmisogyny #transmisogynoir

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