#im sos sorry it took me so long to make this! i hope you like it! truly sorry it took fucking years

[last-starry-sky]

Simon constantly teases you about how short/small you are. It upsets you, makes you feel singled out, weak, incompetent. Turns out he’s just dying to know how well you can fit him, how big his cock would look next to your hands and feet. Won’t shut up about it during sex either. A dash of mean Simon + his untapped size kink

eeeeee im gonnafuckining explode OKAY FOR REAL I WAS DYING WHEN I SAW THIS. thank u, beautiful, patient anon, for blessing me with this prompt!! I hope I did it justice!

ghost x petite!f!military!reader

(MDNI - NSFW uhhhh grossly inaccurate military stuff, creeper, bully simon :), i’m using “petite” as in “shorter and smaller than the average woman” trying to keep everything as open and vague as possible, oral, deep throating, ghost has a raging size kink, unprotected piv, also this is LONG (5.6k) 💀 i'm sorry!!! skip to the end for smut if that's all you want!❤️) 

It’s been the same fucking comments from your lieutenant all week. Day in, day out and it’s starting to wear a sore spot into your hardened skin. 

“Muzzle up. Arms tired already? ‘s a big rifle for someone your size to carry.”

“Keep pace with the group. Your short legs aren’t their problem.”

“Shoulders back! Chest out! Some’ve y’ need all the height you can get!”

All you can do is grit out a “yes, sir” or “no, sir” and push yourself even harder to keep up with the taller and stronger men and women around you. The massive Brit in charge is running your training group. While you expected this to be hard (your CO hadn’t been mincing words when he pitched it as “advanced”) but you never expected this. 

First of all, from the very beginning, he seemed to have a problem with you. Only you. There were a handful of women in the group, but you were unfortunately the shortest and smallest. Not that it bothered you. You’d spent your whole life this size. You were used to it. It was everyone else, especially the wanna-be, alpha males that flocked to the military like flies, that gave you grief over it.

The second you all lined up off the transport, you could feel his eyes on you. You tried not to stare back while the other Brit, Captain Price, gave a short introductory talk. You hadn’t heard a word of it. He stood there, flanking the captain, in a black, skin tight t shirt, with his obscenely muscled arms crossed over his ridiculously broad chest. A buzzing filled your ears as his black eyes bored into you. His stare so hot and heavy it made you sweat. His eyes were all of his face that he left uncovered, the rest was hidden by a skull mask and balaclava. You tried to ignore him, but you swore you saw the ink on his arm flexing as the captain introduced him: Lt. Ghost.

From the first training exercise, a simple one on one spar, he pulled you of all people from the women’s group to demonstrate on. What could you do? Refuse? He had at least a foot and close to one hundred pounds of muscle on you. You tried not to shake as you squared up at the opposite end of the mat. 

He told you to rush him, to “show him what you got”. Well, you tried. Once he gave signal to start, all you could do was try to fake him out. You ran at him before quickly darting to the side, trying to get behind him using your short stature to your advantage. Unfortunately for you, he was crazy agile for a large guy. He pivoted on his foot, watching you as you tried to fade to his left. You steeled yourself when he caged you in his arms, sweeping your feet off the mat. Your world was a blur until he slammed you roughly down onto the mat. Your breath was knocked from you, your vision spinning. You heard the crowd around you let out a collective “OH”. It took you a moment to realize he had you pinned. Your legs and hands held painfully down with his own. 

“‘sat all y’ got? Givin’ up already?” he grunted out with a gravely laugh while he stared down at you. He leaned down until his chest was pressed to yours, that stupid mask just grazing your face. “Or y’ got some fight left in y’? 

Hell yeah you still had some fight in you. You managed to slip out one leg from under him, jamming your knee quickly into his side. A kidney hit was dirty, you knew that. You wouldn’t dream of doing it in a normal spar, against an evenly matched partner, but he deserved it for picking on you; for picking a woman when he could have easily dominated any of the men in the room. He reacted exactly as you expected: crumpling forward in pain. You didn’t waste a second pulling your hands and legs from his grip. Another cry rang out from the crowd when you rolled out from under him, ready to jump on his back and make the pin.

“Olright, olright,” he said rubbing at his side, sitting up with a grunt before you could pin him. “I yield, y’ cheatin’ lil’ git. Next up.” 

He pointed at one of the other soldiers to come forward and take your place. The man gave you a fist bump as you left the mat and you told him “good luck”. You knew he would need it. When you turned around you saw that Ghost’s gaze had never left you. 

-

You walked back to base on Friday with your blood boiling, failure weighing heavy on your psyche after a long, hot afternoon of sniper training. You had given all you could; had put up with extra hard, extra long training, with comment after comment about your size and strength. 

Shorty. Shrimp. Rifle looks like it weights more than you. Gonna manage that?

Up early, in late everyday, almost too tired to eat and shower by the end. You had a mind to march right into Price’s office and tell him you were leaving that night. You’d made it a week, that was good enough for you. You would rather face hell from your CO back home than endure another hour of this. The second you sat down on your bunk, however, you passed out.

The exhaustion must have snapped something in your brain. You woke up a few hours later groggy and sweaty, your bunk mate snoring away. You were half on your bed with your feet still in your boots. You rolled onto your back with a groan, wiping the dried tears and dust from your cheeks. 

You let your weak arms fall over your face. You felt pathetic. You honestly wanted to just lay on your thin mattress and cry in the dark until the day started. Another day of enduring that British cunt with a superiority complex calling you short and weak, of singling you out in front of your peers, of making you question your career up to this point. He was eroding the very core of your person at this point, and you didn’t know how much long you could take it. 

You let out a sigh and, with more than a little effort, pull your sore, battered body out of bed. What you really needed was to shower, to think this out, and then find Captain Price to talk. No good would come from rushing into a decision in this state. 

You enjoyed your shower. It was nice to have all of the hot water and the whole communal space to yourself. You took your time getting dressed back into your rumbled clothes in the empty locker room. Nothing but the sound of dripping water echoing off the tile around you. 

Leaving the showers, you looked up and down the bare corridors, only enough of the overhead fluorescents left on to avoid a safety hazard. Your hair dripped onto your shoulders while you stood in the center of the hall. Price’s office had to be somewhere around here.

You wandered out of the barracks, down hall after hall of the same, painted block walls and plain tile floors, until you started seeing name plates posted haphazardly on the wooden doors. Your eyes wandered from door to door until you found what you were looking for: a sheet of 8.5x11 paper taped crookedly outside an office with Cpt. Price scrawled across the middle.

You let out a sigh of relief as you brought up your hand to knock on the door. It was almost over. The captain seemed like a reasonable man. He would surely be willing to listen to you, maybe give you some sound advice on whether you were actually cut out for this level of training. Before your hand could land on the door, a gloved hand came out from the shadows of the hall in front of you to rest above yours.

“What’re you doin’ here?” he whispered harshly.

You didn’t even need to look up to know who it was. You closed your eyes in annoyance, balling your hands at your sides. Of fucking course he was here. Right at the last hurdle. Right before you could seek relief from a superior, his superior too. You let out a long breath through your nose before you opened your eyes to face him.

“I came to talk to Captain-” you started speaking with a wavering voice before he cut you off.

“Not in. Not yet, at least. Had a long night.” 

He leaned against the door, starting down at you again. God, he fucking annoyed you. You’d never had a CO that frayed at your nerves like he did. How dare he come off so cool, gripping his oversized biceps with his stupid skeleton gloves. 

You stepped back from the door. “I’ll come back when he’s in then. Sorry-”

“Can help you if you need somethin’” he interrupted you again, casually canting his hips forward, moving his hand to the door handle. 

You shook you head. While you really wanted to give him a piece of your mind, you would prefer not ending this with a disciplinary, so you bit your tongue. 

“I don’t need anything from you,” you answered with just a bit of venom.

He heard it, you were sure of it. He clicked the door open, letting it fall open to reveal the dark room inside. 

“No. I think you do, small-stuff.” When you didn’t make a move, just let another angry breath out your nose and furrow your brow deeper, he shifted to the side and pointed inside the room. “In. Now. That’s an order.”

You clenched your teeth and did as you were told. Not that you had an option now. 

-

You walked up to the desk at the back of the room. Price sure did keep his office in a state. Papers and folders were piled across his desk. A landline phone and old desktop computer were shoved to either corner of the desk. More folders and binders piled over the keyboard and hid the keypad of the phone. You heard Ghost’s boots squeak lightly on the tile behind you, then the door shut with a click. Another, soft click followed. He flipped the light switch, illuminating the spot right above you with hazy, yellow light. 

You turned to face the man who’d gone out of his way to made himself your nemesis for the past week. He silently sauntered up to you, stopping behind one of the chairs in front of the desk. You crossed your arms defensively over your chest and tried to make your face placid while he pulled the chair out. He took a seat, well, he tried too. He could barely fit his massive fame in the little chair. It groaned underneath him as he mirrored your pose, arms crossed and legs spread. 

You sat silently staring at each other before he asked, “Well?” with a roll of his shoulders. 

You picked over your words, trying to detangle everything you had thought up in the shower. Ghost bouncing his knee pulled you back to reality. It was like the threatening hiss of a rattlesnake's tail. Better to just get it out than keep him waiting.

“Do you have a problem with me?” you squeaked out, eyes on you boots. The direct route it was, then. 

“What?” he asked, confused.

You looked up at him, exhausted, eyes pleading. “Look, I know I’m short and not as strong as the other guys . . . especially the guys, but the way you talk to me-”

“Don’t have a problem with y’,” he said throwing his arm across the back of the chair, readjusting while he raked his eyes up and down your frumpy form. Probably looking for something to complain about. “If’m bein’ honest-” he started before cutting himself off and turning his head. 

You uncrossed your arms, letting them fall to your sides. “What . . .” you questioned, gesturing with your hands in front of you. “Then why do you-”

He jiggled his knee a few more times before turning back to face you. “Little thing like you,” he said darkly, so deep and low you almost didn’t hear it. He clenched his fingers on his pants as he cleared his throat. “You keep up with the rest’ve ‘em well enough. Ain’t got a problem.”

“Little thing,” you whispered, repeating him sarcastically. 

Ghost groaned at that. Honest to god groaned in front of you, sending a shiver up your spine. You froze as his heavy eyes found their way back to you. 

“Yeah. You sure are,” he said scraping his fingers down his pants. “Spunky, too. Used t’ fightin’ for your place. Like that. Makes me wonder-” he trailed off as his large eyes wandered down from your face to your chest. 

You were shocked. No way. You had to be misinterpreting this. Maybe you were still sunstroked from yesterday, because there was no way you were reading him correctly. 

“Wonder what?” you piped, blush pinching at your cheeks.

“Wonder . . .” he said rocking his head back and forth, trying to tie a sentence together. “Wonder if y’ can be sweet, too.” He let you stew in wide-eyed disbelief for a moment as he gestured at you. “Wonder what you look like underneath all that.” Your stomach clenched as he tilted his hips forward, spreading his legs wider, to palm is cock through his pants. “Wonder if it matches what I’ve imagined.”

You would be lying if it was just your stomach clenching after that shameless display.

It was crazy how it all made sense now. The constant attention. The names. You thought he was being overly hard on you, picking at you, trying to get you to drop out. You rubbed a hand over your heated face. He was a grown man (a large one, too) that was acting like a little boy with a worm on a stick, chasing the girl he liked around the playground. You thought he hated you and all this time he was actually getting off to you. You felt like an absolute moron. 

“Doesn’t have t’ leave this room. If you’re interested,” he said in that deep gravel, still trying to keep himself together. 

You let him sit in silence for a long, tortuous, moment. 

“And if I’m not?” you finally asked. 

He nodded to the door behind him with his head. “Then leave. Talk t’ Price in the morning. No harm.”

“No foul,” you finished his phrase, running your fingers over your bottom lip. 

Silence hung between you for a hot moment in the cold, stale air of the office. You had a hard time believing he would just let you go at this point. Not that you planned to, the danger intrigued you too much to walk away. This line of work had made you a wholly different animal, it’s why you were here. You ran into war zones, battlefields, hostage negotiations, the places others couldn’t run out of fast enough. You’d been dealing with the people that most couldn’t stomach, the ones that couldn’t function in civilian society, for so long that they had worn a place under your skin. This lieutenant, Ghost, he had been in this just as long, if not longer, than you. He had to feel the same. Fuck, he had be worse.     

“What . . . what do you want?” you finally managed to ramble out. 

He let out a rough hum of satisfaction. You hated how you responded to it. You rolled your thighs together and, fuck, you were wet. You let out a small, shuddering breath. You’d gone a week with no praise, no kindness, and now here he was, the big, bully Brit who’d made your life hell practically purring over you. 

He trained his hungry eyes on you and motioned up with a flick of his fingers. “Wanna see ‘em. Don’t even have’t take your shirt off.”

A part of you wondered if this was all a trick as you slowly rucked your t shirt up to expose your stomach. That would track with how your week had gone so far. He was so blatant and open though, gripping the chair beneath him like he was about to launch out of it at a moment’s notice. He groaned as you pulled your shirt up to reveal your plain black sports bra. It was nothing special, standard issue, but it kept you strapped down. Not that you really had all that much to contain. 

He ran his hand over (what you assumed) was his mouth under the balaclava. He waited a moment for you to continue before urging you forward. 

“Come on, love. Don’t get shy. Wanna see ‘em.”

You slipped your fingers underneath the wide band at the bottom, hesitating only a moment before you pulled everything, shirt included, up over your head. You stared down at your chest while you balled your clothes in your hands.

“Not much to see,” you whispered, watching your nipples perk and skin pucker under the AC.

“Fuckin’ hell” was all he said. You dared to look up. “Fuck,” he continued, “Fuckin’ . . . get over’ere. Just fuckin’ dyin’ t’ get my hands on you.”

You dropped your clothes on the floor, closing the few steps between you quickly before falling forward into his grasp. You weren’t sure if you were ready for what this desperate, mountain of a man was about to unleash on you, but fuck did it excite you. Once he had you between his legs, gloved hands scraping up your back and around your waist, testing his fingers as he held you, but he didn’t do anything but look. He stared at you like you were made of glass. 

You stared at him, too. You hadn’t been this close since he’d pinned you on the first day, and you were pretty sure you’d been half-concussed then. You could see where he had eye black painted carefully around his eyes to fill the holes in his mask. You could see his long eyelashes, clumped together with that same oily black paint. It made the whites of his eyes stand out vibrantly. His large dark irises darted back and forth over your chest. You wondered what he was planning, what he was thinking. 

He didn’t leave you wondering for long. He pressed you forward, mouthing at your nipple through the mask. You let out a short whine, pussy clenching as his large hands kneaded at your waist. The feeling was like nothing you’d felt before. The fabric between you muted the translation between his actions and your pleasure. You could feel how eagerly he bit and sucked at you, but you were denied half of it. It made you dig your fingers into his shoulders in frustration.

“Want more?” he said haggardly, pulling off of you. He tugged at your belt, not waiting for an answer. “Then get these off.”

You did your best to undo your belt and pants despite your shaking and moaning while he dove back in, working harder at your other nipple. Once you’d dropped your pants down to your ankles he pulled you forward to step out of them, wedging you into the spread of his legs. You toed out of your shoes and then he kicked everything behind you, your boots banging loudly against the steel desk. You heard papers shift and fall, but couldn’t find a reason to care. He held you, running his gloved hands over your exposed skin while you shivered in font of him in nothing but your panties. 

He palmed his cock again before fumbling around to find his belt. You heard him click it open, the metal jangling as it went slack. 

“On your knees,” he ordered breathlessly. “Wan’ see what that little mouth can do with this.” 

You complied immediately, viciously curious as to what he was packing. If the tent in his pants was any indication, you had your work cut out for you. He popped open the button of his fly and then slowly unzipped. You couldn’t see anymore through his briefs than you had in his pants, but still, you leaned forward. You curled your hands on your knees, biting your lip, willing him to give you permission. 

“Go ahead,” he said giving himself one lazy, squeezing pump.

You put your hands on his inner thighs, right above his knees, testing the waters. When he didn’t say anything, you slid your hands up his legs, a soft, swishing sound following. You stopped at his crotch, pulling yourself forward before tentatively, gently, smoothing up his clothed cock. 

He groaned, covering your hand with his, forcing you to grip his girth. Your thumb just barely met your ring finger. 

“Fuckin’-” was all he could get out before pulling your hand off. 

He used his other hand to pull his dick out before pressing your hand to his hard, burning length. You gave him another pump, feeling how the skin stretched beneath your hand, then squeezing to feel how goddamn rigid he was. The tip of his cock made your mouth water. 

It was crazy. On you knees in front of him like this, you weren’t a competent soldier, a woman who held herself with poise and respect in front of her colleagues. He wasn’t an expertly trained, battle-hardened, special operative of the British Army. You were both human. Both hungry. 

You tipped his cock toward you to lap at the underside of the head. You met his eyes just as you closed your mouth around him, sucking the salt from his slit. He shut his eyes with a groan, letting his head fall back for a moment as he reached his hand up to grip at your skull. He opened his eyes to watch as he slowly bobbed your head down his cock. 

He gripped himself at the base, forcing your mouth to take him until you met his fingers. You did. Just barely, gagging as his head slid against the roof of your mouth to the soft palate at the back of your throat. He didn’t let you pull back. Instead, he traced the inside of your lips with his thumb, drool coating his black gloves.

“Lookit’ that,” he groaned as your throat pulsed and burned around him. “Little thing takes it all s’fuckin’ well.”

He let go of your head, letting you pull off of his cock. You stared at it with heavy eyes as your head spun from lack of oxygen, it glistened with your spit in the harsh light. He gave himself another languid stroke, watching you force air into your lungs while you sat practically naked on the floor between his knees. 

“Think you can take it in that little cunt a’yours like that?” he asked, stopping his stroke at the head.

You bit your bottom lip as you looked up at him. You gave him a slow nod. Any fear or paranoia you had before was long evaporated. You were wet, horny, needy. You needed him to give you something, and if he was going to give you a choice, you could do worse than getting railed until you couldn’t remember your name. You clenched, hands clawing at your thighs, as you watched him pump another stroke up that monster cock of his in front of your face before grunting out his order.

“Get up then. Against the desk.”

You scrambled up to your feet. He followed you, rising quickly from his chair to tower over you, pressing you backwards into the steel desk. Your hands reached out for purchase as he roughly gripped your thighs, throwing you on top of Price’s paper-laden desk. Folders and binders clattered to the floor, papers swirling across the tile as he shoved you down, ass right on the edge. 

He stood between your legs, hips flush to yours, his cock laying across your standard issue panties like a weapon. He pressed the weight of it against your skin with a groan, head spreading precum into your stomach. Quicker than you realized, he reached behind his back, coming back with a knife. It was almost invisible palmed in his large hand, only the tip of the blade winked from the tip of his thumb. With two quick flicks, he cut up the side of your underwear. He slid the knife back to wherever he had taken it from, like it was the most normal thing in the world, before pulling the now useless scrap of fabric from between the press of your bodies. 

He held the scrap of fabric in his hand for a minute, investigating it under the light before tossing it to the floor.

“Really are beggin’ for it, eh?” He said sliding his cock up the seam of your pussy. His easy, fluid movements as he rocked against you answered for you. “Fuckin’ wet just from that?”

You nodded, lacing your legs around his hips, trying to pull him closer. He pressed his hand into your stomach in response, squishing you against the desk hard enough to make you squirm. He pulled away enough to notch the head of his cock at your entrance.

“Needy little fuckin’ thing,” he said with a punch of his hips, nails biting into the soft skin of your stomach as his tip danced perilously on the edge of holding inside you. “Want it so fuckin’ bad? Want this inside y’?” 

He took himself in hand and watched as he pushed inside. You both groaned. You let your head fall against the desk with a dull thunk, eyes shut and legs shaking as he pushed deeper and deeper inside your slick hole. 

“Fuck.” He was breathless for the first time since you had met him. “Fuck are y’ tight. So fuckin’ small. Even gonna fit it all?” He rambled to himself as he took hold of your hips and watched himself fuck slowly in and out of you; hypnotized by the clutch of your greedy pussy pulling him in, resisting as he pulled out. 

You let out a small cry of frustration, tears pricking around your eyes. He was big, but that wasn’t the problem. You had taken your share of dick, you could take him. It was killing you how slow he was. He was lost in his own world, watching his cock slid in and out of you as you lay there silently begging for him to just fuck you already. 

“Quiet,” he whispered with a half-hearted harshness, hand trailing down to your pussy. 

You almost jumped as he began to rub a wide circle around your clit. Your slick barely dulled the rough texture of his glove. You shuddered, clenching around him, whining as he found a rhythm with his thumb and cock. Your clench punched the breath out of him. He fell over you, bracing himself with his arm. You could hear the hollow sound of his breaths behind his mask as he gave up trying to pump into your vice of a pussy. 

He nuzzled the cold plastic of his mask against your ear. “Not gonna’ last long doin’ shit like that,” he grumbled. He held himself up, pulling your face to look at him with a hand under your jaw. “Wha’d’y want?” 

You stared back at him with confusion. 

“Where d’y want it?” he clarified.

If you had a brain cell still functioning, you would have told him to pull out. It was the safer of the options he was giving you. 

But you didn’t. You moaned out, “Fuck. Inside me. Please,” like the absolute whore you had become once he’d whipped his cock out. 

Not one to question, apparently, Ghost was back in position the moment he heard you. He pulled your hips back to meet his, cock punching all the way in until you winced as the head hit your cervix. He took hold of one of your legs, hand running up the length of it, positioning it until it lay unfolded up his chest. He gripped his fingers around your ankle, starting at it as his other hand squeezed your waist.

“Lookit, fuck. Lookit that,” he said as he pistoned into you. You cut off the loud moan that he punched out of you. The change in angle was . . god it was like nothing you’d had before.  

“Like that?” he said, letting your foot dangle on his shoulder while he held your waist with both hands, driving into you mercilessly. 

If you could have answered, you would have spoke truthfully. You were sure. You would have moaned about how good it was, how he was so big and filled you so well. As it was, his powerful thrusts jarred you against the cool metal of the desk too much to do anything more than moan and hold on as more papers flooded the floor. 

“Got y’self off at all this week?” he asked, panting breathlessly.

You shook your head, a small whine of anticipation falling form your lips at the thought.

“Gonna nut just thinkin’ about you cummin’ on my cock,” he mumbled, trailing his hand back to your clit.

You let out a sad whine, bucking into his thrust as he touched you. You were close. So fucking close.

He began to circle your clit like before, finding that delicious rhythm with the pound of his hips that pulled you higher and higher, tighter and tighter, until dazzling sparks lit up your core. You reeled back with a cry, clenching his cock, arching as he worked you through your peak. 

His hand ripped away from you sooner than you’d like. He fell over you, both hands biting into the skin of your hips as he pounded into you as your pussy pulsed, any semblance of cadence or love-making gone as he chased his own high. You dug your fingers into his t shirt. The sweat drenched fabric was almost too slippery to hold on to. 

“Fuck! Too fuckin’ hot ‘n, fuck, tight. Fuck, ‘m gonna-” His weak series of sighs and groans, followed by the distinct feeling of his cock flaring inside you told you what he couldn’t.

He lay over you for a moment, panting as you both caught your breaths. You wondered if he was also stewing in the monumental realization of what the fuck you had both just done. You’d just broken so many rules. So much was at stake. He’d just cum inside a subordinate on his bosses desk, and you didn’t work for the same country. This was going to be a mess. You were sure of it. 

He pulled away from you, pulling himself out with a smothered whine. You crossed your hands over your middle as you watch him zip back up and adjust his mask. It was wild how he was back to normal within seconds. You half expected him to walk out the door and just leave you here like this. At least all of your clothes were here, save your sliced up panties. 

But he didn’t leave. He held out a hand to you, only letting you stare at it dumbly for a minute before he flicked his fingers toward himself, urging you to act. You took his hand and he pulled you up easily. He even let you slump against him after you sat up. You’d forgotten how tired a good lay made you.

Again, you expected him to leave you now that you were conscious and able to dress yourself, maybe leave you with a heavy warning (read: threat) to not talk about this. As you tried to shuffle to the side to try and get off the desk, he stopped you. His hands gripped both of your shoulders suddenly.

“The fuck y’ doin’?” he said, forcing you back in front of him.  

“Getting . . . dressed?” you answered with unease. 

“Funny,” he said with a single, dry, laugh. “You’re a funny lil’ thing, too.”

His hands skimmed down your sides before quickly seizing you by the hips, throwing you over his shoulder like a backpack. You gasped as your stomach landed on his solid shoulder, punching the air from your lungs.

“Think we’re done already?” he said, turning around. 

You watched as the desk, and the messy you had made on and around it, including your scattered clothing, circled back into view, then slipped away. He palmed a whole cheek of your ass in one hand, spreading you open enough for cold air to chill your leaking core, as he stalked toward the door. He probed a finger into your pussy, swirling the cum you felt leaking out across your folds. 

“Got a whole day off, y’know,” he said matter-of-factly as he opened the door. Completely ignoring that he had a naked woman slung over his shoulder like a caveman. “Think we should go back to mine. Relax. See what else that little cunt’ve yours can take.”

#mw2 #ghost/reader #ghost x reader #call of duty #cod fanfic #cod mw2 #starry writes #asks #anon #now to move on to ch 4 of the graves thing woooo

[alumints]

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[aliorsboxostuff]

Hi! If your requests are open I have one! Just saw ATSV yesterday and its rotting my brain agsisghagdh anyways-

An M!Spider!Reader who is one of Miguel's trusted agents with a tendency to overwork himself to make sure that his teammates are kept safe and ignoring his own health in the process. This understandably makes Miguel very concerned but this man cannot healthily express this are you kidding? What I'm saying is classic troupe of patching you up while scolding you in Spanish and then maybe they kiss a little bit and well if you want to make it a little spicy I wont stop you >:]

Thank you very much! Genuinely makes my gay little heart happy when I see writers like you who exclusively write for gn/male readers, y'all are the backbone of the x reader community fr 💜

A/N: im so sorry this took so long this was months ago but a mf forgot and wow here i am yippee!!!! As usual, if yall find any spelling mistakes pls inform me as i’m always praciticing this damn 2nd language lmao. Lets see if my writing skills is still any good LOL enjoy!! <333

Careless 

Tags: Miguel O’hara xM!Reader, Spidey!Reader, Lyla, Miles Morales, Gwen Stacy, Spider Society, No Smut, Kissing , Fluff, Reader is another spiderman, Soft!Miguel, slight OOC, patching up, healing fic, non-graphic description of wounds, mentions of blood and cuts 

Yet, with all that said, Miguel likes to remind himself that no spidey truly comes home unscathed.

Ever since the new guy joined the team, he quickly rose in the ranks and became Miguel’s right-hand man. He’d usually go on patrol, jumping from one universe to another with the man as they capture and contain anomalies like the bugs they are. Miguel puts his trust in him, well, as much trust as a man like Miguel can put in someone. But despite the short time the newbie has been in the Spider society, he has managed to capture Miguel and most of the Spider people's hearts so easily. 

He’s a comet that passes by the compound. Each time he returned from a mission, the spiders would gather around him, congratulating him on another successful mission and inviting him to drink or eat together.  A aswarm would always gather around the portal they knew he would come out from and each time, without fail, he would emerge to cheers and smiles. It wasn't like everyone else wasn't doing a good job, they were all doing what they were supposed to, but somehow the newbie was liked all around, solidifying Miguel’s slowly growing infatuation with him. 

But despite the trust and praises he gets, a spidey doesn't come home unscathed, not every time. Sometimes he’d come back from one of his solo missions with a broken rib or two, bruises in more places than necessary, a torn muscle here a twisted ankle there. He’d limp his way into the infirmary, an army of other spideys following him in worry yet he’d dismiss them easily with a simple wave and a; “It’s nothing guys, I’ll be fine,”

Miguel hates it.

Whenever the man goes on missions with the leader of the society, without fail, he will come home with nothing more than one or two bruises that would heal in a couple of hours if not minutes. Miguel would roll his shoulders back and the man would simply shake his head furiously like a dog before prancing to greet his waves of fans. Miguel didn't need to pay attention to him unless they were doing teamwork. He would run around by himself, track down the anomaly with him, and they would contain it easily and transfer it back just as easily. 

He might not look like it, but when Miguel brings a teammate with him on duo missions, he’s expected to cover their back and vice versa. Miguel will break any skull that dares to hurt his team and he hopes for the same response from his teammate. The newbie never disappoints. 

Miguel would find himself enraged, almost cornered by an anomaly, and there come’s Prince Charming with a devastating kick towards the anomaly’s side which sends it hurling into another building. Miguel appreciates their duo missions, the main reason he puts himself with the newbie. 

Not to mention, he makes a great team leader too. He’s carried out several missions with the younger ones, mainly Miles and Gwen, and despite it all, they always return successfully and with a snack in hand. When he goes on missions with Hobie, they’d somehow come back with a new intricate playlist created and when he goes on missions with Pavitr, they’d come back with pockets full of trinkets ready to give them to the other youngins. All in all, a solid team leader.

Yet, with all that said, Miguel likes to remind himself that no spidey truly comes home unscathed.

—

You were on a mission with Miles. One of your duo missions with the boy, rare considering Gwen usually tags along. But today she’s got a mission with Pavitr and Peni, which leaves you and Miles for some quality Dude Time. 

It was a sunny day in the universe Miles and you dropped in. As the two of you swing from building to building, talking about Miles’ thing with Gwen and laughing at how embarrassed he gets, continuing the topic to buying a new Lego set for Pavitr and Hobie as the two of you swung past a Lego shop, when suddenly the anomaly reveals itself.

Another variant of Doc Oct holding themselves up with their extended metal arms. You can handle a Doc Oct alone, and with Miles helping you, the mission was expected to be so easy you were already thinking about what to have for dinner. 

But things don't always go according to plan, does it?

It strikes 8 pm when Miguel gets a notif from Lyla that an arriving portal was opened into the containment site of the compound. The man clicks his tongue, dropping from his platform before making his way to the site. Every step he takes he leaves his foul mood like a repellent, making the other spidey avoid him, cutting the middle path of the other spideys like a blade. His scowl is not helping his case either way.

The last portal should've been at 6 pm.

The door slides open, and a slight hiss rings out into the room. Inside the evenly lit expanse of the room, he easily spots yours and Mile’s spider suits in between all the other anomaly's dingy outfits. Miguel takes a breath before he stalks towards the two men, their backs to him.

“Ugh, my rib is killing me,” You groan, pressing in the code to store the anomaly in its cell.

“You're telling me, this bruise is going to be a pain in the butt to heal,” Miles sighed, holding his left arm. “But if it weren't for you, man, I’d be dead meat,” 

“Oh come on Miles, none of us knew the guy would send a gas truck our way,” You scoff. The terminal beeps and the thrashing anomaly is contained. 

“The fact that it burned on its way towards us was also something we didn't expect.” Miles laughs at what you said as you find yourself cringing. You knew there were going to be burn marks on your leg.

“No, but seriously, thanks for covering me back there, I thought we’d-”

“You thought you’d what?” 

Miles practically jumps into your arms as the both of you screams. You shut your eyes and it seems like Mile’s did the same before a stern cough makes you peek through your eyelids. There, in front of you, stands a solid wall of muscle and anger. Miguel has his arms crossed, eyes so sharp it could cut a mountain in half. The slight scowl on his lips would be cute if it weren't for the pure bloodlust as he gazes down into you, making you gulp.

“Heeeeeey Miguel,” Your pathetic excuse of a smile was met with nothing but him deepening his frown. Okay alright yup.

Miles awkwardly scuffles down your arms. He coughs into his fist, pulling at the edge of his suit. “Hi there haha…”

Miguel stares. “The last arrival portal should've been at six.”

Not a sound from you or Miles. Miguel holds back a growl. 

“You two are late.”

“Right, ‘m sorry Miguel, I promise this would be the last time, it was just that- See me and Miles here; we didn't realize that this Doc Oct was gonna be slightly more insane than the others-” You ramble, Miles quickly nodding along. 

“And haha, well, one truck lead to another and next thing ya’ now, bam! We got uh… hurt,” A nervous chuckle left your lips. Miguel replies nothing.

“B-but! I covered Miles from the fire! So he only got a couple of bruises, I promise the kid is fine and it wasn't his fault either so let’s just-”

“Enough.” He barks. You practically clamped your mouth shut. 

The doors hisses open again and Gwen comes running in, worry on her face. She sighs in relief as he spots Miles hiding beside you. “Miles! Thank goodness you’re okay!” 

Miguel turns as she runs and wraps her arms around the boy. “You came back so late!”

“I’m sorry Gwen, things got a bit out of control,” Miles pats the girl back reassuringly. “I just got a bit beaten up, nothing I can't handle,” 

Gwen pulls back and grabs the boy's face before turning it left and right and up and down, her eyes scanning like a hawk. She deems it enough as she stops, hands firmly holding Miles’ arms. “You always say that,” She sighs. 

You can't help the small relieved smile on your lips as you watch the two teens catch up with each other before Miguel makes a gesture with his hand.

“Gwen, go take Morales into the infirmary.” He says as he nods to Lyla that popped up on his brace. “And make sure he doesn't get out of bed for the next two days.”

“What?! But it’s barely a scratch-” 

“Now, Morales.” The man stares them down until eventually, Miles relents with a sigh and lets the girl usher him into the Infirmary's direction, the two of them shuffling next to each other, Gwen's arm around Miles. 

You hear something along the lines of ‘detention’ from Gwen as she laughs before the door slides close, leaving you with an enraged lion in its territory. You gulp as Miguel fixes his red eyes on you.

“You. Come with me.” 

And that's how you find yourself walking down the halls of the many living quarters of the compound. You followed silently behind Miguel’s broad shoulders, in any other day you would find it hard to resist not ogling those massive arms, but tonight Miguel was practically a walking beacon of rage. The smallest misstep would make him burst and thats the last thing you want to happen. 

“Miguel, I'm sorry, okay?” You try, catching up to walk beside him. “I promise this will be the last time I’ll come back from a mission late, plus, I won't bring anyone else with me too if I ever do it again. I swear this won't hap-”

His sudden halt catches you off guard and you bump against him. You scratch the bridge of your nose with a slight frown from the impact. The dimly lit hallway made it a slight challenge to read the nameplate but you managed to make out ‘O’Hara’ and with that, your stomach drops.

“Um… Miguel, this isn't my room…” 

The door opens. The room is pitch black. 

Miguel makes his way inside. His red eye glows before he commands; “Sit.” 

Fear brought you to sit on his bed, not a crease in sight which only struck your fear deeper into you. You could hear your heartbeat, terrified for what's to come. The worst thing Miguel could do would probably chew you out in the comfort of his room, away from any possible witnesses, and then maybe take you out of commission for a while as your punishment. 

You gulp as the man sets something beside you. It was a box, hard to make out what it was but it seemed heavy. Miguel clawed and the large hand extends towards you and you screw your eyes shut, hell did you pray to any god that was willing to listen to you so please please please-

“Bring your face closer.” 

Huh?

Cautiously, you open your eyes to Miguel’s face inches away from you, a warm light bathes over his features, making the lines of worry and fear evident. “Let me see your wounds.” 

You blink, once, twice, owlishly, making the man before you sigh and cup your jaw softly. He turns your face to inspect it before he brings his other hand which wipes your fringe away from covering any other possible wounds. 

He hums. “Looks like just scratches.” 

The mystery box turns out to be a first aid kit. Miguel flicks it open and rummages around in it before he pulls a couple of bottles and bandages out. 

“Take off your suit top, we need to treat that burn before it gets worse.” He demands. You cough before awkwardly peeling off what's left of your suit before dropping it on the carpeted floor. You need to get that repaired.

You couldn't bear to meet Miguel's eyes. Not when he’s kneeled in front of you, his usually intimidating body looking small as he’s hunched over. He looks tired, his frown is a mixture of worry and annoyance, but there is something beneath it. Something you don't dare to think about but you know. You always knew. From the first day, you finally managed to see that crack in Miguel’s hardened exterior, you’ve been scared to make another move toward him. Behind this wall of a man, is a heart guarded with spikes and what he has in his eyes right now as he’s wrapping a cooling pad around your arm is something that petrifies you. 

“Next time you’ll be doing missions with me and me only. I won't be assigning you to any other spiders until you learn to take care of yourself,” He huffs, unveiling another roll of bandages.  He pulls at your shoulder which makes you turn slightly. 

"Fucking hell, ¿cómo puedes ser tan descuidado? You run around saving everyone else but who’s going to save you, huh?" He huffs, wrapping the last of the bandage slightly too tight which makes you wince. He notices but does nothing. 

Once again, he holds your chin between his fingers as your gazes suddenly meet. Miguel growls with how you won't meet his eyes, firmly pointed anywhere but into Miguel’s red eyes. He sighs before letting you go as he takes out some ointments. He puts the substance on your cheek and under your slowly blackening eye, then down your jaw where you know a pretty bad bruise taints your skin. You feel his movement slow before his hand rests on your nape, sending jolts of warmth through your body.

“Cuídate, ¿eh? Cuídate." His voice devastatingly soft. 

Confusion and a steady wave of feelings start at the bottom of your heart, which only worsens as you finally find the courage to look at Miguel. To your surprise, his eyes are wider than usual, pools of crimson oozing with care as he scans your features. His thumb rubs at the base of your skull. “I can't lose my right-hand man.” 

He sighs. “Please, necesito que estés seguro por mí,"

You inhale sharply. Without realizing it, he's practically inches away from you. Your heart races, beats out of your control when Miguel rubs your nape again. 

“Miguel…?” 

A beat passes. Silence. 

Before Miguel growls roughly and promptly stands, taking the med kit with him. He makes his way to what you assume was his wardrobe. Panic rises beside you, making you wave around your hands. “I- Um- Miguel please I didn't mean to- Oof!”

Something was thrown at you. Something soft and large and is this hit shirt and… boxers?! 

“Change your clothes. You can't sleep in those.” Miguel points out, his scowl now a pout on his lips. 

“But-”

“I'm not saying this twice.” He growls before he slides into the bathroom and leaves you in his bedroom along with the pile of his clothes in your arms. 

You slowly look down at what you're holding. Carefully, you slide off what's left of your suit and drop them in a discarded pile before pulling on Miguel's clothes. To no one's surprise, you're practically drowning in the shirt. His boxers barrel fits you and the first goes over your tighs easily. You feel smaller even for your height and stature, but it feels… safe. 

The door of the bathroom slides open to reveal Miguel standing with slightly damp hair as he's drying it off with a towel and in nothing but gray sweats. Something grows within you and it’s definitely something else besides your heart. 

“Ah, you're done,” He glances toward you before setting the towel down neatly. He saunters to the side of his large bed, pulling the covers off before sliding in. An arm keeps the cover slightly open, before he raises an obvious brow.

“Get in here and sleep,” He huffs. 

You jump and quickly slide beside Miguel, careful to keep an inch of a distance. But that was deemed unsuccessful when the man beside you pulled you to his side, and his arm wrapped protectively around your middle which made you drape your hand over his chest. Before you can squirm, he locks his chin over your head with a content sigh. 

Shit, he really is a giant lion. You sigh. 

“Sleep. You need your rest to heal.” Miguel’s voice purrs through you while you're practically glued to his side. You chuckle slightly before pressing a peck just below his jaw.

“You sleep too.” You smile. “Good night Miguel.” 

You hear Miguel hum before he presses his lips to your crown. “Good night.” 

Translations:

how can you be so careless? = cómo puedes ser tan descuidado

Take care, huh? Take care of yourself. = Cuídate, ¿eh? Cuídate.

I need you to be safe for me, = necesito que estés seguro por mí,

Reblogs are appreciated <3

#miguel o'hara x male reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x m!reader #across the spiderverse #atsv miguel #atsv miguel o’hara #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x gn!reader #miguel o'hara x gender neutral reader #across the spider verse #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara fic #spiderman 2099 spiderverse #miguel o'hara fluff

[mwahsturns]

First choice // Matt Sturniolo Pt 1

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

Contains: cussing, fluff, flirting, talk of death, Semi-proof read! I think that’s it let me know if there’s more! Also if there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes please ignore them 😭🙏🏻

Synopsis: Y/n works at a record store and one day while she’s working two very cute guys walk into the store but one especially catches her eye and later so happens they end up having more then just there music taste in common ;)

Word Count:1,890

Author’s notes: Hii bbys !! <3, So I’ve never written a fic before or posted on tumblr, So I’m sorry if this is bad I’m new at this please go easy on me😭🙏🏻. If you guys have any suggestions, tips or advice please message me I hope you enjoy my new series!!, this took me a very long time to come up with so I hope you love it💗.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

The sound of music always brought me peace, I work at a record shop because I love being around vinyls and just anything music related really. I also really enjoy reading It's always brought me a sense of comfort as well as writing and poetry. Honestly it makes me really happy, and ever since I was a kid I've always written songs and maybe sang a little bit but that’s a secret. I don't know what it is but I always feel like it helps me forget about everything that’s wrong in my life, my parents died when I was 16 so it’s always been just me and my two little brothers. I love them more than anything and I'd do anything for them. Today was just a regular day at work I was putting vinyls on the racks that they go on when two guys walk into the store, I look over and give them a soft smile.

‘hii welcome let me know if you need any help finding any artist or vinyl specifically’ they smile at me and nod as one of the boys catches my eye, I’m a very shy person so I decided not to say anything unless I needed to. After a couple minutes I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around and saw the guy who caught my eye standing in front of me. ‘hi um i wanted to ask you something’ he seemed very nervous but also very confident weird mix. ‘yes of course how can i help you’ I smiled softly at him hoping to make him more comfortable, ‘do you happen to have “circles” by Mac miller’ he says as he does a side smile. I smile at him as I think about how I also enjoy mac miller.

‘yea over here!’ i walk over and pull it off the rack, ‘this is one of my favorites’ i say chuckling, ‘i really like this one’ he says turning the vinyl around. ‘what other artists do you like?’ ‘i really like d4vd and um frank ocean oh! Omg Dominic Fike omg Tyler the creator?! is so amazing and oh my god i'm rambling im so sorry’ I blushed getting a little nervous, ‘nah you're good’ he smiles as I look up at him and smile softly. We stand there until the guy he came with comes up to him ‘woah you guys twins or am I dumb?’ ‘nahh triplets’ he says laughing ’oh cool” i say and start checking them out. ‘You're the first to not ask us a million and one questions about being triplets’ he chuckles, ‘yea nah y'all will tell me over time’ I smirk i say with my boston accent coming through a little.

‘oh so you plan on getting to know us’ he smirks a little ‘oh totally y’all look cool’ I laugh, ‘you're from boston?’ The other guy says noticing my backpack in the back with the Boston logo. ‘yes i am’ i laugh ‘us too!’ ‘What's your name?’ The guy who got my eye says ‘I’m y/n’ ‘cool im matt and hes chris’ ahh Matt hot guy hot name. ‘cool!’ I hand them the bag and me and Matt make eye contact, ‘have a good day’ ‘thanks you too’ matt says smiling at me. They walk out and i really hope i see them again.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

  I finally got to clock out of work It was so tiring and I needed to make sure my little brothers were ok. I get to my car and get settled in and connect my phone to the aux and play “Ivy” by Frank Ocean. I’m so glad to be going home I think as I started driving I decided that I was gonna pick up a pizza for my little brothers because I got paid today and I know how much they love pizza. We aren't broke completely but we definitely struggle sometimes recently things have been rough but I finally got a promotion so it's getting a little easier I got the pizza and started heading home I got home and when i opened the door and my brothers cody and alex run up to me and ‘sissyyyy we missed you’ alex says hugging me, ‘aww i miss you too bud’ ‘sissy you bought pizza!’ Cody says looking like his eyes are gonna pop out of his head. 

 

i walk over to alexa who’s been my best friend for years, she helps me with my brothers and just around the house ‘thank you so much lex’ i say hugging her ‘Of course love that's what best friends are for’ she says smiling softly ‘wanna spend the night and when i put them to bed we can talk?’ ‘yeah okay sure’ Alexa smiles at me while i feed the boys.

I start to give the boys a shower and as i’m showering cody he looks up at me with the biggest smile on his face. ‘sissy I wanna be just like you when i grow up.’ He says playing with the bubbles, ‘aww little c i love you a lot bub and i know one day you’ll be even better than me’ i say tearing up, cody has always been more clingy to me than Alex is but not as much, cody doesn’t like to leave my side and he is the sweetest kid ever. Him saying he wants to be like me does hurt a little because I've been through a lot of shit but the fact that I look strong in his eyes makes up for it all. I put them to bed and Me Alexa got some wine and took a seat on the couch.

‘So how was your day?’ She says sitting next to me. ‘it was good omg lex these two really cute brothers came into the shop and oh my god girl’ I say blushing thinking of Matt ‘speaking of cute brothers you know the guy i was talking to?’ ‘yes why?’ ‘this is him and his brother I’d think you like him’ she turns her phone and pulls out a picture.

‘hold up hold up let me see that?!’ i say taking the phone from her ‘omg thats the cute guys that came in today’ ‘Omg?! yeah i've been talking to chris for a minute now’ ‘matt’s pretty attractive just sayin’ I couldn’t help myself but blush i don’t know what’s wrong with me fuck Y/N get it together. ‘oooo y/n has a crush?’ ‘oh shut the fuck up’ ‘oh come on you haven’t had a boyfriend since your parents died’ she says starting to get serious, ‘i know but my brothers mean the world to me lex i need to make sure there ok i don’t have the time’ I would love to give Matt a chance but i don’t know.

‘your brothers would want you to be happy y/n/n’ she says rubbing my knee, ‘I know but it's not about me being happy i need to make sure there happy i have to be a mother figure to them they need me’ ‘i get that babes but you need to remember you lost them too your only 20 rasing two kids you need to be a kid too especially since you were forced to grow up so quick’ i look at her and nod I mean I understand where she’s coming from but my brothers are all I know. ‘i love you y/n i'm just looking out for you ima head to bed goodnight love’ ‘night babes’ as she walks off and goes to into the guest room i kinda sit there think about what she said and i mean she's right but i can’t risk something happening to my brothers.  I head upstairs and head to bed because i have another day of work but holy fuck thank god it's friday. 

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

I woke up the next morning only because my alarm for work went off and i see it’s 9:44 so i know Alexa is getting my brothers ready for school I get out of the bed and i started to get ready for work. I finished getting ready for work when my younger brother Cody came into the room with tears in his eyes. ‘sis…’ he says in a sad tone I turned around quickly and scooped him into my arms ‘aww what's wrong love?’ i say concerned.

‘i don’t wanna go to school i wanna stay home with you can you please skip work..’ he says in a whiny tone, ‘Aww bub i wish i could help but you know the rules’ When i got custody of cody and alex the court gave me really strict rules to follow, i had to make sure they were always at school, they weren’t falling and that i kept a stable job and make enough money or else they would take them away. ‘I know but i hate being at school kids are mean to me and alex’ i look at him feeling bad but i don’t wanna risk losing them. ‘I’m sorry bub if i could keep you and alex with me 24/7 forever i would’ i say hugging him tightly.

* *:･ﾟ✧💒*:･ﾟ✧

i got to work over an hour ago and to say its boring is an understatement. Just as i think that i hear the bell ring meaning someone walked into the store, i look up ready to greet them and i realize its matt. ‘Matt? Hey’ i say smiling. ‘Hey um i know this might be weird but i um.. Well so my brother chris the one that was with me last time uh i found out that the girl hes been talking to happens to be your best friend right?’ ‘yeah shes my best friend’ ‘well um she kinda encouraged me to come back..’ ‘what do you mean?’ ‘well i uh wanted to see if you were willing to go out with me… you don’t have to its o-‘ he starts to say but i cut him off. ‘Sure why not’ i say smiling i don’t know what happened but he was too sweet for me to say no to.

‘Wait really?’ ‘yea i mean i can’t deny you are pretty cute..’ ‘well thank you’ he laughs damn something about the way he laughs i dont know but it feels almost addicting to listen to. ‘Uh are you free saturday?’ ‘yeah i am’ i smile ‘sweet! Ill text you’ ‘okay bye matt’ ‘bye” he blushed a little bit as he left the shop. Shit who’s gonna watch cody and alex?!                                                                   

Author’s notes:heyyy I’m back! So I hope you enjoyed the first part of this series and I’m sorry if there was any typos, spelling mistakes, etc I’ll try to fix the ones I can if I miss anything please let me know but I hope you enjoy and have a great day 💋

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo smut

[serotinals]

A Long Winter | The Thirteen Letters | Not Easily Conquered

ao3: dropdeaddreams, WhatAreFears

#nec #not easily conquered #sorry poetry moots! ignore me 💋 #the thirteen letters #stucky #stevebucky #this took WAY. too long to make #I hope some nec lover out there likes it Im kinda blind to if it strikes a chord or not after staring at it for 3 days #yeah its 10 minutes! yeah there's 3 songs! my bad! #and yes this is the ship I hyper fixated on in high school thank you for asking #we are so back! #stucky edit #stucky video #I wanna edit this further so bad but alas my 7 year old MacBook Air can not handle my 10 minute canva video

[plulp]

hey guys. remy design

#remy the farmer #dol #my art #sorry it took so long for me to make this #im watching live shows for one of my favorite music projects in the corner and i have to pause drawing to scream every 5 seconds #if i were in that crowd id be yelling. id faint. only but a dream to attend one of these #to the people that sent me another personality swap request also. i promise im not ignoring you but the one that said #''avery and eden swap would be a nightmare'' #youre completely right. it is a nightmare. i cant think of anything #so if either of you have any more ideas or anyone else does then PLEASE help me im begging you all i can think of is ??? i dont know #i hope you guys like this remy though #i was worried about if it was good enough but special thanks to the people on my side account that told me it was fine #i posted fem remy there too if you want to see it #i think when i do fem vers of them all ill group them up because itll take me less time to make it since ill already have the design basis #and also i feel bad for spamming you guys #actually would you prefer i keep posting them one by one or should i post them all at once? for these designs #i feel bad posting separately because that means the people who rb my posts reblog like 10 separate design posts in a row :( #and i dont want them to spam their blogs because of me #but i do really really appreciate it when i see someone do that in my notifs :) so thank you a lot if you do #and also thank you to everyone who leaves tags i read each and every one of them obsessively like a freak #this is getting too long im going to hit the tag limit at this rate #ill try to work on the avery eden thing again #see you all later :)

[puppyeared]

adhd comix

#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired #like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability #and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors #i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working #isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol #if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you #need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid #im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher #to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll #go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms #AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis #theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were #comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run #and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make #a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!! #im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need #to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh #yapping #vent

[good-beanswrites]

Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.

Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!

Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...

I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm

Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.

Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.

“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.

She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store. 

Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore. 

“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.

It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”

She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath. 

Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.

She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.

Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her. 

So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death. 

“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno. 

“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying. 

At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”

Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.

“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”

The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.

But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.

Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well? 

At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe. 

“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”

#milgram #mahiru shiina #yuno kashiki #amane and fuuta mentioned #i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂 #oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk #i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that #anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0 #drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result #i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together #the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices #im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd #i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything -- #i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared #but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off #not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky #i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person... #i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon #and *shes* the odd one out for craving company #then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else #i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...? #AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃 #*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit* #drabbles

[anawrites3]

Dick halted before passing the living room entrance, taken aback by the scene he witnessed. When he left - and it's worth noting, only for a minute or two - his father and his fiance sat as far away from each other as sofas and armchairs arrangement allowed it. They weren't exactly engaged in even moderately polite conversation but /at least/ they weren't arguing as well. It wasn't that bad. Now although...

To be completely honest, Dick wasn't sure what happened. They were still sitting in the same places, still not talking, and still not even looking at each other. The atmosphere shifted a little, that was one of the signs that he missed something possibly important. There were more signs, probably way more giving, such as frozen meat Bruce held to the left side of his face, or smeared blood under Slade's nose and his beard that looked like he tried to wipe it quickly.

Of course.

"The fuck?" he asked pointedly looking at Alfred, the picture of elegance and composure, standing straight in the corner of the room.

"Master Bruce and Mister Wilson had a...disagreement" butler explained throwing one of his disapproving looks their way.

Of fucking course.

"It was quickly resolved" to that, Dick noted, Alfred seemed to look a little too self-satisfied "and I proposed something cold to cool gentlemen down. And for the damage, obviously. Mister Wilson refused."

Bruce only murmured something unhappily but Slade was rather stubborn about getting on Alfred's bad side, like refusing his polite act of mercy wasn't enough. "I'll heal in an hour, no need for that sh-"

It's going to be a long evening.

Anon this is BRILLIANT!! Amazing writing too!! Ahhh its so good!!

Bruce and Slade are trying their best to not fight each other but only when Dick is in the same room 😂 They don't even mind Alfred there lmao I love it, I wonder what they were thinking when they started that fight - they had to know that Dick will be back soon 🤣 It's "We'll act like nothing happened, maybe he won't notice" kinda thing 😂💕💕 amazing

I love the idea so much, let me add a bit to that 👀

"I swear to God, you are worse than children." Dick let a sigh escape his lips as he sat down on the sofa, right in the middle of the room. That way he was sitting evenly in between both Bruce and Slade, and they both looked conflicted whether to move closer to him or stay where they are, as far away from the other man as possible.

"He started it." Bruce complained under his breath and Dick sent him a pointed look.

"I really don't care who started, Bruce. And it's not like it matters anyway, you both are way too old to act like this."

Slade crossed his arms over his chest with a mumbled complain and leaned back against the armchair he was sitting on. Dick glanced at the blood still smeared over his face and stood up again with another sigh.

"I can't believe you two, I literally left for three minutes!"

"A lot can happen in that time."

"Yeah, I can see that." Dick remarked, bitter. "Fighting, making a mess of yourselves-"

He reached for a tissue to gently clean up Slade's face. The blood stopped running already thanks to the man's healing factor but his nose still was fractured if not broken from the punch. It would take a while to heal and while Slade got way more serious injuries on daily basis, it still must've hurt like hell.

Dick looked down at the button-down shirt Slade was wearing, at a few drops of blood that got on it and let a small pout enter his face.

"My favorite shirt too..." he lamented quietly.

Bruce looked away. Slade shifted a bit in his place, uncomfortable. Good, they should feel bad about it!

"I can wash it out, it's just some blood." Slade assured him with a half-shrug. His rough fingers found Dick's wrist and squeezed gently. "Or I can buy another one like this."

"I don't want you to buy another stupid shirt, I want you both to stop fighting!"

"Dick-"

"Little bird-"

"No! Shut up, I don't want to hear it!" Dick snapped, taking a step back to glare at both of them. "You're both important to me and I'm so fed up with all your stupid fighting! You are going to start acting like adults and learn how to live around each other without trying to kill each other!"

Bruce ran his hand down his face, suddenly looking tired.

"You know it's not that easy, chum."

"It is! You're my dad and Slade is my fiance, I'm not going to give up on either of you because you don't like each other!"

"It's Deathstroke, Dick! This has nothing to do with disliking, this man killed thousands-"

"I love it when you're calling me your fiance." Slade hummed with an easy smirk as if Bruce didn't speak at all. He sent Bruce a look over Dick's shoulder and enjoyed the way Wayne tensed. "Can't wait until we change it to 'husband' though."

Bruce clenched his jaw with so much force that Dick worried about his teeth. He hated being reminded that Deathstroke would soon become a part of his family and Slade knew it far too well.

"You're not helping, Slade!" Dick hissed.

Slade looked back to him and pressed his lips to Dick's wrist before pulling him onto his laps. Bruce leapt up from his place.

"Not really trying to."

Dick screamed.

#anon #sladick #dickstroke #thank you again anon!! #its great #hope you don't mind me adding to it 👉👈 #i never know if its okay but i couldnt stop myself its so good!! #i love it so much #my reply #my writing #dad bruce #slade feels kinda bad but he's too much of an asshole to admit it #and he likes annoying bruce okay #serves him right after messing up his contracts all the time #he'll make it up to dick later #im sure bruce and slade will make up one day #alfred quietly watching the drama to share it later with jason #oh and sorry it took me so long to reply anon!! I'll be better #im just sick rn and had a few things to take care of so didnt have much time earlier #but i got really happy when i got your ask!! #love you #you really made my day!

[sungsuho]

Hey I saw your tags on a prev post, can you tell me how you pirate content safely? (you can publish privately) thanks!

ok im going to start out that im not the 'end all be all' of piracy im like. constantly improving my craft (lol) but i'll explain everything i do to make sure i dont get caught while extensively downloading media

before that though if you just want to stream media and not torrent it you can just go to r/piracy's megathread and click the links through there

i WAS going to put this all under a read more but i was trying to link additional resources and this post has most of their explanation under a read more and since they deactivated their account you can't access it anymore. so on the off chance i deactivate i want to keep this post accessible, sorry its so long lol

some of this tutorial is only truly accessible if you have a computer that can stay on 24/7, which i know is not viable for everyone, so i went ahead and highlighted the things you need a computer thats always on for in blue

(honestly, you probably do all the things you need an always on computer for with a raspberry pi but i dont know jack shit about those (yet) so you'd have to look elsewhere on how to do that) i do all of my piracy on a windows desktop computer

1. the first thing you want to do when beginning your torrenting life is purchasing a good vpn.

i personally don't trust any vpn sponsored by youtubers to not sell you data to companies for profit, so i use ProtonVPN since i use their mail service and their servers are based in Norway i believe which has EXTREMELY strict privacy laws. they have a free version of it but it doesn't allow you to torrent.

NEVER USE A FREE VPN FOR TORRENTING EITHER! they are like. the least secure vpns in the world . a vpn is expensive but basically all of them are for plans that last well over a year so its a worthwhile investment

2. the next thing you'll want to do is select and set up your torrenting client

i personally use qbittorrent and it works great. DO NOT USE UTORRENT. while their are some versions that don't have a cryptominer attached to it, basically all of the versions do at this point so its better to just steer clear

once you have your torrenting client downloaded, you will want to set it up to only be able to connect to the internet through you're vpn. the images below show you how to do it in qbittorrent

(image descriptions available in the alt text)

once you've done the steps in the image, click "apply" and then "ok" in the bottom right of the settings tab

the next part is only necessary if you are going to seed torrents (which i recommend you do if you can)

if you ARE going to seed torrents, you are going to need to enable port forwarding in your vpn and connect your torrenting client to the port specifed. the following images will show you how to do that with ProtonVPN and qBittorrent

(image descriptions available in the alt text)

once you've done the steps in the image, click "apply" and then "ok" in the bottom right of the settings tab. you will want to make sure that connection status button, located two buttons to the left of your displayed download speed is a GREEN electrical cord plug. if it is red then you cannot download or seed. if it is yellow then you can download, but you cannot seed. it will take a couple of minutes for the specified port to update and the connection status to turn green.

3. now that you've done the hard part, its time for the EVEN HARDER part (this is, however, all completely optional). it is now time to set up tracked tv shows, movies, etc to automatically torrent when updates or a better quality becomes available

you do this using Radarr (for movies), Lidarr (for music), Sonarr (for TV shows), and Prowlarr (as your indexer to manage what torrent hosting clients you want these applications to use). when you download these applications and install them, you are going to want to

you first want to download all of these applications using the links above. you can choose which applications to download based on the things you're going to be downloading, however for any of these applications to work you are going to NEED to download Prowlarr. for simplicity sake i will walk you through setting up all of these from the beginning of my list to the end, except im starting with prowlarr first because that's what you need to set up the rest.

however, when installing ANY of these applications, you are going to have to choose whether to install it as a system tray application or a windows service. I'm going to copy and paste from the Prowlarr wiki what the difference means, though it applies to all of the applications

A Windows Service runs even when the user is not logged in, but special care must be taken since Windows Services cannot access network drives (X:\ mapped drives or \\server\share UNC paths) without special configuration steps.

Additionally the Windows Service runs under the 'Local Service' account, by default this account does not have permissions to access your user's home directory unless permissions have been assigned manually. This is particularly relevant when using download clients that are configured to download to your home directory.

It's therefore advisable to install Prowlarr as a system tray application if the user can remain logged in. The option to do so is provided during the installer.

now that you've installed the programs you want, its time to set up prowlarr. i am once again going to show you how to set it up using pictures

(image descriptions available in the alt text)

that is how you add what torrent indexers (the websites that host torrents) you want to use to prowlarr. I only used TorrentGalaxy as an example, I don't actually use that site. I recommend being VERY careful and selective with what websites you use if they are a public tracker, as any of their torrents can host viruses. do your research before adding them. for convenience, however, I will list all of the public trackers I use so you can add them to Prowlarr if you like:

1337x

IBit

Internet Archive

Nyaa.si

Rarbg

Shana Project

SubsPlease

Torlock

YTS

you can also add private trackers, which is basically the same setup except you will have to input your username and password and/or an api key to allow prowlarr to access your account. I will explain private trackers later.

i will now show you how to connect prowlarr with the other applications you downloaded, once again with images

you want to do this with every application you're using.

that's the basics for setting up Prowlarr. you can further customize it with the help of the Prowlarr wiki if you'd like, but this is all I'll be covering in this tutorial.

setting up the other applications pretty intuitive if after setting up prowlarr, however if you do need help this is the video i watched to set up the rest. you only need to watch how to set up one of these applications to know how to set up the rest, and you can ignore literally everything this person is saying besides how to set up sonarr radarr and lidarr. seriously, don't listen to the rest of what this person has to say it will only confuse you. i have the video hyperlinked to where you need to start to learn how to set up these applications (the one she walks you through in depth is sonarr)

4. now that you've set up the torrent trackers (or skipped that part, those are, again, optional), it's time to go back to your torrenting client and configure how it handles your torrents.

you can only download so many megabytes a second, and when you have a million torrents downloading at once it makes every single torrent download at a snails pace because of that. so, what you're going to want to do is set it to download only a certain number of torrents at a time, and queue the rest to download once one torrent finishes.

this setup is pretty self explanatory, so I won't use images and just explain it.

go back to the settings of your torrenting client, and click on the "BitTorrent" tab (this might be a tab specific to qbittorrent, if you are using a different client look for a tab that is called something similar) (you can alternatively just google how to set torrents to queue for your specific client)

click the checkbox next to the option "torrent queuing"

customize how many active downloads and uploads you want. I personally recommend having no more than 6 torrents downloading at a time so that way they can all download relatively fast. i have my seed (upload) limit set to 60 because I'm in private trackers (which i will explain more about later), but if you don't want to seed for whatever reason you can set that to 0 and it SHOULD (don't quote me on this) automatically stop your torrent once its finished downloading. this could also potentially throttle your download speed because torrents don't like it when you're not uploading them while downloading them, don't quote me on that either having downloads set to 0 is not something im familiar with at all

you can optionally also set your download and upload limits in the "speed" category of settings, though i recommend keeping them both at infinity

5. setting up your downloaded media so you can watch it

this part is really easy and ALSO technically optional but it makes your life so much more convenient so i really recommend doing it. we're going to set up Plex Media Server so it can auto sort through your libraries and organize everything.

download plex and create an account

launch the server and go to the settings page, indicated by the wrench icon in the top right

scroll all the way down the settings directory until you get to the 'Manage" subheading and click on "Libraries"

assign your media libraries to the folders on your hard drive. for this you are going to want to keep movies, tv, and music all in separate folders, and you are going to want to keep your tv shows within your tv folder separate as well.

click 'scan library files' and watch plex update your library in real time

there will be times where plex isn't able to grab the metadata for a piece of media you have, but i can tell you how to (hopefully) prevent that from happening:

in the settings menu, go to the "network" tab under the "settings" subheading

uncheck the box next to "Enable server support for IPv6"

thats it! it should be able to get the metadata for all your media now

6. joining private trackers

this is honestly some Advanced levels of torrenting, and you shouldn't join them if you don't have a device that can be on and seeding 24/7

private trackers are torrent trackers that you can only use if you have a registered account with. they generally have a higher quality selection of torrents with faster download speeds due to a higher seeders to leecher ratio. each tracker has their own rules you need to follow, but they all have similar baselines

maintain your download-to-upload ratio (this will be specified in the trackers FRQ)

after you finish downloading something, you then need to seed it for a certain amount of time (normally a week) or else it will be considered a 'hit n run' and you will face the appropriate consequences

some things are free leach, which means you can download them without it contributing negatively to your ratio. if you seed and upload free leaches they will count to your ratio positively, however

most private trackers are invite-only, but some do occasionally have open signups which you can track on r/opensignups

when joining any private tracker, i recommend only downloading things that are free leach until you have built a good buffer between your upload to download ratio.

this is barely a drop in the water explanation of private trackers, but it's a part of torrenting that i feel like most people don't know about and/or don't know how to get started with, so i felt like it was worth mentioning. r/piracy has a more in-depth explanation (and a better "how to get started" guide on their megathread

and that's it! this is my indepth beginners guide to torrenting and piracy. i will maybe come back to this later and add more / make the formatting better (tumblr post formatting has such bad options...)

linked below are some useful resources for torrenting and pirating in general that i have saved.

my favorite public torrent tracker

r/piracy megathread

r/roms megathread for video game console downloading (direct downloads mostly, not torrents)

r/FREEMEDIAHECKYEAH megathread

r/FREEMEDIAHECKYEAH beginners guide to piracy

nintendo switch roms (direct downloads)

nintendo switch emmulator

ns emmulator setup guide

sideload apps on an apple device

hacked spotify ipa (ios app) that you can use above link to sideload

a less convient way to sideload apps onto apple if altstore doesnt work for you

#this post is so fucking long im sorry #and because i have like 3 followers no one is going to reblog it. and thats ok #this took me almost exactly 4 hours to make. lol #and since i put a bunch of outside links here theres no point in putting it in tags to spread the word... thank you tumblr ! #save #piracy #<-- formyself lol #anyways to the person who asked hope this helps #if anything doesnt make sense you can DM me and ill hopefully respond also google is your friend #well you should use duckduckgo #but

[its-hyperfixation]

lancelot + ways i would describe him

for my sweet, @bellamyblakru. i am so incredibly proud of u my love, graduating from college in such a short amount of time is no small feat. you’re an absolute legend in my eyes. congratulations my beloved, ily <3

#OKAYYYYYYYY sorry this took me YEARS to make. i started on friday night lol idk why tf it took me so long #maybe because it has so many gifs within each one… hmmm 🤪 also thinking of the little comment for each one was way harder than i thought #it would be #also SORRY IF U CANT READ THEM 😭 the gifs were so long so i had to compress them like crazy #and now the small text is barely readable 😔 and they’re so damn grainy #let’s jsut pretend that was a design choice 🤪 #anyways this is something diff from all my past gifs so i really hope u like it!!! i just love lancelot a lot (no pun intended) and had #this idea out of nowhere so i just went with it #i watched all the episodes he’s in (except 4x09 bc that doesn’t exist lol) and just recorded a shit ton of clips LOL #went in with no planning whatsoever 🤪 then i sorted through them to see which descriptions they would fit into #i have over 35 clips i think and i didn’t even use all of them soooo i’m thinking about posting all of them as just regular gifs too #just for funsies and bc i love lancelot so much i’d love to put some more lance love into the world 🥰 #i gotta show you the names i have for the clips lol some of them are hilarious 😂 i love showing u behind the scenes #okay i love u so much and im so so proud of u and i can’t wait to see u go on to do incredible things #this is only the beginning of your success my love; i know u gonna go out there and kill it #congratulations again my beloved 🥰🥰 #ilysm 💚💙💚💙 #hope u like this 🥺 #twas definitely difficult to make as i had to face many trials and tribulations with the collages and the file size but alas #i would do anyfing for u my love #ayman gifs #merlin #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #merlin gifs #merlingifs #lancelot #lancelot my beloved #lancelot gifs #bellamyblakru

[stormyoceans]

hi Monica! is it okay to ask for an little more (maybe indepth) explaining on how puentalay and tesstun switch back to the og universes? So tun dreamt of place and the location ended up been in his film site the next day. So did puen dream too or was their respective switch happen due to tun. And we saw that talay say he dreamt of a place as soon as he wake up but it wasn't some place near by or easy to to reach. Does this have some symbolism or meaning and do u think tess also dreamed the same night too. So did the switch happen cuz of talay and tun

hello, dear anon!!!!

of course that’s okay!!!! as a general rule, please feel free to ask me anything, im always up to help if i can or even just to chat a little!!! tho it might take me a while to reply, as you can see ;;;;;;;

before getting into this, however, i think i should point out that the show doesn't really give a full in depth  explanation on how the switching back to the original universe works (probably because the novel itself does not give much of an explanation either), and while i do think the show tried to make sense of it by giving us a few more hints to help us connect the dots (which is one of the many reasons why i think the show is far more superior than the novel btw), the truth is that a lot of it is still up to interpretation. so what i can do is give you my own personal view on the matter, which doesn't necessarily mean it's the right one. im aware i tend to read too much into things and that maybe i've come up with an explanation that it's more complicated than it actually is, but im still gonna try to illustrate it as best as i can and let you decide if it works or not!!!!!

SO. right from episode 1, dol and joob introduce us to the two main rules that are known about traveling back to your universe, which are:

"to return to the old universe, you must first find someone who has traveled between universes like us. there will be something of that person that matches you. once you find that person, you will dream.”

“it will be a place. when you dream about a place, you must go there as soon as you wake up. there's a chance for you to return home."

if we go by these, things seem to be fairly straightforward: talay met puen, he eventually dreamed about the secret island, he went there, he switched back; tun met tess, he eventually dreamed about the pool where they were filming a movie in, he went there, he switched back. simple, right?

however, the more you look at it, the more i think it’s natural to come up with a whole lot of questions like if you dream after you find your portkey, why didn't puen and talay dream right away? did they have to reach a certain level of connection to 'unlock' the ability of being each other's portkey? but then what caused talay and tun to finally dream? did puen and tess dream too? and if talay/puen and tess/tun are portkeys, why didn’t they switch together?

as i said before, all these questions remain unanswered in the novel, but the show adds a layer to the universal travelling that i personally think it helps explain a lot. in episode 6, joob says  

"i do believe universal traveling happens for a reason. maybe it's a lesson for us to learn something we're missing."

this idea is brought up again by talay at the end of episode 12, when during his voice over he says

"p'joobjang once told us we travel between universes to learn something. for me, i learned about love."

if we look at universal traveling under this point of view, i think a lot of things start to make more sense, and we can also answer a few of the questions we previously had. after you die, you travel between universes because you need to learn a lesson. for puen, it was about accepting himself and the life he was given. for talay, it was about love. only once you've learned your lesson you're gonna switch back. in this scenario, your portkey isn't what 'unlocks' your ability to go home, but rather it's the person that can help you learn said lesson. and if we look at it this way, puen and talay WANTING and CHOOSING to be each other's portkeys gets a whole new meaning too: puen loves talay, talay accepts puen for who he really is, and by wanting and choosing each other they also accept the lesson they were supposed to learn

here's when things get a little bit messy (and i probably read too much into things ;;;;;;). so you have to learn a lesson. but to go back to your original universe we know you also have to dream about a place and go there. so you learn your lesson, and once you do you finally dream about a place, you go there, you switch back. following these rules, it indeed seems like the switch has been due to talay and tun since they're the ones who dreamed, even if you don't know what tun's lesson was. i definitely think this is perfectly reasonable, and we could stop here and call it a day, however to me it's not so simple, mainly for two reasons: 1) the switch between puen and tun literally happens at the peak of puen's character development, once he's fully learned his lesson and shows it by finally being ready to tell talay his name, so it's hard for me to see it as a simple coincidence, and 2) maybe it's gonna sound harsh, but to simply put it, this is not tun's (and tess') story, it's puen's (and talay's), so on a narrative point of view it's just weird to have someone else be responsible for the switch

so here's what i think (hopefully i can explain it in a way that make sense ;;;;;;): usually, when you're taught a lesson, you will also have to take a test to show that you've really learned it. puen's test is to face his worst nightmare: being back in his original universe with no one waiting for him. talay's test is to be willing to give up everything for love: losing time and energy by having to wait day after day for the tide to get lower. and while i do think dreaming and going to a certain place is necessary to switch back after learning your lesson, the reason i think puen didn't dream is because that would have defeated the point of his test (if he had dreamed he would have known he was gonna go back and he could have prepared himself for it), so tun dreamed (and went to the designated place) for him

im aware it's a reach, but it makes sense to me, especially because of the place tun dreamed of: a pool. this is already long as hell so im not gonna into it as much as i could, but let's just say that in vice versa water is a recurring theme that carries a lot of different meanings. one of those is that it represents puen and talay's relationship as a whole (in episode 7, the tide at the secret island is low because they haven't cleared up their feelings for each other yet; in episode 9, the tide is getting higher because they confessed to each other but there are still things left unsaid; in episode 11, the tide is at its highest point because puen and talay fully love each other with no secrets left between them [and talay has to dive in the ocean, in their love, to get to the secret island and be able to go back]). but water also represents talay and puen separately, with natural bodies of water being related to talay and artificial man-made ones (like a swimming pool) to puen

ANYWAY. there are still some holes in this theory and there's so much more that i could say about it, especially about the water symbolism and how i personally think 'the Universe' is a sort of sentient force in vice versa, but we would be here for ages so im just gonna shut up. if you, anon, or anyone else, even got to this point after reading though this mess you honestly deserve a prize ;;;;;; (i can offer cookies and all my love?)

but yeah, i hope this was at least interesting, if not coherent, and i'll let you decide if this is a somewhat reasonable explanation that could actually make sense!!!!!!

#I REALLY SHOULD HAVE REREAD THIS BEFORE POSTING IT AND YET. I DID NOT #hope it still makes sense ;;;;;; #and i do hope you're still around to see this anon!!!!! #even if it is. what it is ;;;;;; #LOOK I KNOW IM READING TOO MUCH INTO THINGS AND COMPLICATING SOMETHING THAT IT'S PROBABLY WAY MORE SIMPLE #OR THAT COULD JUST BE EXPLAINED WITH 'THERE ARE PLOT HOLES IN THE SHOW' BUT IT MAKES SENSE TO ME OKAY #the orderlies coming to get me like sure grandma let's get you to your padded room #anyway sorry this took me so long and i hope you're having a wonderful day anon!!!!! 💜 #vice versa #long post #m: txt

[oatbugs]

i realised i never went clubbing w my friends all together before this point. just w random individuals etc

#i think when i drink i adopt a lot more neurotypical traits bc i become aware of every sensation #i also gain a lot more focus and energy. i also gain the ability to have a sense of direction (memorise maps in sweden on 2% battery) #and also i gain the ability to look people straight in the eye while i talk to them or hold them or kiss them #and i become extremely energetic and focused. people have called me a lot of beautiful things but never #something so incrompensibly simple and basic as he has. i ran away and told me friends to watch fot me. i realised #i never experienced this with all of them before. the boy with the beautiful long hair let his hair loose and allowed himself #enough to kill an army. he took off his hairband which he only does when he is drunk or vulnerable or emotional which are perhaps #the same thing or the opposite. over the credit limit by 50 and i do not regret it one bit. i can hear #the sound of trains (angels) in my ear. this place is silent and the other place is deafening #but not quite enough to make the ground shake. i hope you are well and that you have moved on. #my friends in a circle and their hair in the light. my friends saying anything dumb. i made him rice and he said thank you #i love you as a reality and hate you as a concept. a boy pulled me really closed and kissed me and i felt nothing. #i either feel nothing for boys or i feel more for everyone. one is greater than the other - you said we both do maths and we #admired you like a statue. thank you for letting me inside. thank you for your sanctity. whereabouts are you? #i told you i love being autistic and you said you love it too except it wasnt a joke and you arent one of us #you dance sober and you understand #sorry for letting you kiss me. i hate you for kissing me that night. me and the only one covering appreciation with your kind of fun. #102 bpm. 121 bpm. i counted precisely. i count the bpm of every song precisely. when im drunk i think about manifolds. #when i drink i think about your handwriting in eyeliner when you wrote something so true #i laughed as if it wasn't. 3202.08 deposited into your bank account minutes ago. #i want you to understand. i want you to understand. i want you to understand. i want you to understand how much i love you. #IM LISTENING!

[plulp]

Eden swapped with Avery sounds like a nightmare for me idk why

Eden the businessman

Avery the hunter

Idk i really can’t think of anything - anon.com

thank you all three of you im so sorry it took me so long to do this i just had absolutely no ideas 😭😭😭😭😞😞😞 i hope you all like this!!!!

#asks #my art #anonymouse #the anon that Started the whole swap yeah sure I don’t fucking care if you don’t believe me anon #anon.com #guys we have got to start reeling in these anon names. #actually no just kidding we need to make them longer #thank you very much the anon tstwsysidfciydbm anon (acryonym) for sending the first ask i appreciate it very much :) #and anon.com im so sorry it took me so long to do this #you were completely and utterly right when you said sounds like a nightmare. it was a nightmare #i hope you like it #and to the anon that added some hcs. i owe you my life #without you i dont think i would have ever finished this #im sorry it took me so long #no more swaps okay not unless you have it all planned out #my brain isnt big enough to think up headcanons #eden the businessman #?????? #avery the hunter #????????????????? #oh and baileys there too

[nongnaos]

tagged by @surajmukhis <3

favourite time of year

This feels like a trick question when it comes to Ireland bc I feel like we have 11 months of rain at different levels of 'cold' and maybe two weeks of the most humid heat known to man. I'm gonna just say Autumn because I like halloween.

comfort food

Mashed potatoes.

do you collect something

I used to collect ticket stubs from the cinema but now they changed them to be like paper receipts and its sad to me.

favourite drink

Tea. Sometimes iced coffee? I only really drink tea coffee and water tbh, and tea is the go-to.

favourite song

Hahaha????? maybe The Temptation Of Adam by Josh Ritter

current favourite song

I really like Jikjin by Treasure right now! I love the production, the panned "hoo-woo-woo-oo-oO" it feels like... I'm one of those people that can't bear to listen to ASMR but listening to this part feels like what people who enjoy asmr must feel like? Also the second verse with the backing vocals at the end of each line like "RAH! yeah. rah. RAH. What's up? Oh God!" I go feral every time, it's so much fun!

Also Flowering by Lucy I've been listening to it SO much recently. I know so few of the words but I keep trying to belt it when I'm driving. I didn't really like it a lot when I first heard it but it grew on me so much. Love the violin and I love those two lines before the last chorus where on the first line the vocals have an effect like a radio almost? And then for the first three words of the second line it gradually changed from that effect to just the normal vocals, like the effects are just automated to gradually turn off. It's simple and it's nice.

favourite fic

Bear with me.

One of the first I found and loved was Turn, a Harry Potter/Draco fic where Harry gets sent to an alternate dimension to see what would happen if he had made different, gayer choices. Also there's a pet snake!!

By the same author, Reparations, another H/D fic where Harry decides to become a healer after the war and during his training has to work in different departments, one of which it turns out is with Draco, working in a detox centre for addicts. Sequel Foundations. I literally go and reread those three fics every couple of years.

A Bucky/Steve fic called Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail, I love the style of this so much, it's set after Bucky pulls Steve out of the river in Winter Soldier, where Bucky is still brainwashed but seeing Steve overrides his mission objective from "kill" to "protect". As his brain rewires itself slowly from being basically a machine to being human the writing style changes with it. Turns out Bucky is a stress baker. Rewiring your brain is kinda stressful. They eat a lot of cookies about it.

Onto Wangxian, Counterpoint is a modern au set in Julliard, where Wei Wuxian is a composition major and Lan Wangji is a cellist in the orchestra. They meet for a string quartet project and so much music is woven into this fic, there's a linked playlist and it's amazing. It's one of those fics where you can just tell how much love and care is put into it to depict the music aspect so well!

Finally, just all of the wlw wangxian fics. I love them all, some are oneshots, some are longer fic, all of them are delightful.

tagging:

@wkxs @lovingpran @snimeat @icouldhyperfixatehim @talays-portkey @biwichapas @dimpledpran no pressure if you've done it already or aren't interested!

#this took so long due to the fear of trying to pick favourite anything #esp the fics bc my brain was really like they have to be your Most Cherished and i got stressed trying to pick #i hope the links work pls tell me if they dont so i can cry #tag game #im so overtired and ive been having a terrible time recently and im sorry for making you all read such a block of text but i made it little #in the hopes of it being less horrific to view #im gonna have some biscuits and sleep <3 love uuuuuu