#im still fucking dying over this

[ginalinettiofficial]

rewatching st s4 and just. lucas. love of my life he was trying so hard to do the right thing…. he’s still just the protector guy…… him and steve just…. two bisexual self sacrificing jock peas in a pod……

#d speaks #st #stranger things #stranger things s4 #lucas sinclair #steve harrington #they are really. just my two babies!!!! #ep 2 and 3 w lucas knowingly and willingly putting himself into a very dangerous situation and joining unstable aggressive teens #on their literal manhunt. so he can keep an eye on them and divert their attention away from his friends however possible #when they visit band practice and jeff is like ‘lucas???’ the look lucas gives him of ‘DUDE PLEASE IM TRYING TO CONTAIN THIS SITUATION’ #all the little white lies he keeps telling. the way andy gets in his face right away from the first morning #the way jason is like fr man this isn’t your fight we will still consider you a friend if you bounce now and lucas seems to genuinely think #that eddie DID kill chrissy or was wrapped up in it. and he still said no i’ll stay and protect eddie because eddie is a part of his circle #and he knows that where eddie goes dustin and mike follow and so he actively chooses to keep himself in a dangerous risky ass situation #just so that he can have intel and work to distract them from his people #also. i know it’s a separate thing but still dying over the little erica and jason at the sinclair door scene #fucking hysterical

[mispronouncing-michaelangelo]

"It was always stuck on the happy color," he gave a dry chuckle. "Even at the hospital. That's how we knew it was all bullshit." 

okay but like,, what is he WAS happy,, what then huh xue yang,, what if he was able to find peace and happiness knowing that his family was there with him,,, what about that??

based on the fic the thread that binds us by @wifiwuxians

#song lan #xiao xingchen #a qing #xue yang #okay this took so fucking long #and tumblr has decided to eat the quality #but thats none of my business #im stopping this before i overwork it and over think it and look at it too long #but yeah idk i just like to think that maybe xxc was at least sometimes happy #when they were there with him and they were just sitting around as if they were still at home #and he felt so so loved and cared for and all that stuff #even though he knew he was dying they were still with him and for a few moments at least he was still able to be happy #idk i just want him to die peacefully for fucking once haha #anyway great fic 10/10 loved it so so much #it was legit so good #anyways some details that i wanna shoutout; xy is an itachi kinnie; a-qings crop top was originally xxc's; two headed calf plushie #gift from sl #dis meh #my art (??)

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF PRIORITY: MARS (PART 2)

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Maj. Kaidan Alenko, Lt. James Vega, and Dr. Liara T'Soni With: The Illusive Man and Dr. Eva Coré Your vision is pathetically limited. You were a tool- an agent with a singular purpose. And despite our differences? You were relatively successful. But like the rest of the relics in this place, your time is over. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

#mira makes gifs ✨ #shenko #james vega #kaidan alenko #sophie shepard #liara t’soni #the illusive man #eva core #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #ITS PART 2 BABY! I COULDNT GIF PEAK SHENKO CONTENT AND NOT MAKE HER A 2-PARTER YALL #these are my favorite bisexuals on the citadel i had to give mars a double feature ✨ #‘the person i followed to hell and back the person i loved- are you in there somewhere?’ we cried. for real like this line THIS LINE #the first time i played ME3 it crushed me into a thousand pieces and it still does tbf #but like i also forgot how many good lines TIM has in this first mission until i was collecting footage while i was playing #like his lines go HARD (not javik ashes of a trillion dead souls hard but still) #also i may hate him but he looks fine as fuck in those new PV suits i will not lie #also im ngl the way femshep carries kaidan after he gets his head smashed against the side of the cruiser sends me every time i cannot #like sometimes you just have to carry your boyfriend like he's a sack of potatoes over your shoulder when he's bleeding to death! #like come on girl CARRY HIM BRIDAL STYLE or DONT CARRY HIM AT ALL #but on a serious note the way shep looks at kaidan back on the normandy? when he's in the med bay? #the way they just are so lost in him being injured?? in the possibility of him dying?? the panic in their eyes?? #the way they only get brought back to reality when liara starts shouting?? chef's kiss tbh #bioware VS canon may be poo but the end of priority mars will always be famous to me #thanks for reading two gif sets worth of rants if you stayed for both!!! #i hope you have a good day!! 🥹✨

[johnmeowston]

top ten guys who would shatter if thrown at a wall number 1

#thinking abtpers ERMM sorry always think abt him late and then i get self concious. BUT i think #''yknow that life we lived is over. and when we were living it it didnt mean anything anyways'' < THAT. THAT MAKES ME THROW UP AND SOB #because it DID mean something to him!! it meant everything !! #it was the one thing that kept him going he was trapped w laius or wahteva #the idea that if there was even a SLIM chance of him escaping and meeting back up with coyot and things going back to the way they were. it #was worth it enough to endure torment and try to not go crazy < wanted 2 be somewhat normal when he caught up w coyot #even though it never did turn into a reality and instead he came across gunner #and it wasnt until after he had grown to love his new life and the people around him that he saw coyot again . circumstances aside he still #was so happy 2 see he was alive and well. was happy to see that coyot also lived with the people he loved and was doing alright for himself #and was in a better mental state and was well fed and ! #he loved coyot. im so emo over that. love was there but it saved nobody < shaking and crying and throwing up #and thats why i think him dying would be the best outcome 4 him tbh. having to kill your old family must be fucking devastating #and he only did it to ensure a false sense of safety. FML!! #txt

[good-beanswrites]

Could you write a drabble for Mikoto and Shidou plus Blood? This request miiight be inspired by the fact that Mikoto mentions his body hurting a lot but doesn't seem to be receiving any medical treatment, either because Mahiru and Fuuta take priority or because there's no obvious cause, and therefore cure, to his pain...

👀👀👀 Thank you, this is such a good combo ough!! It's so interesting how much focus the others get when it comes to physical health, since Mikoto has clearly complained of his condition :( It looks like Milgram is trying to push the idea that he's completely oblivious to his alters, but I spun it where he's aware, just deep in denial. So have some Mikoto angst to get us hyped for Double!

Mikoto should be grateful. He was lucky. That’s what he kept repeating to himself. He had both of his eyes intact. Both his arms. He was strong enough to walk around freely. He wasn’t on the verge of death, or collapse. Thus, he should be grateful no one was offering him any help, because it meant he didn’t need it. He repeated it again. Maybe this time he would believe it.

With a groan, his body rolled out of bed. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d woken up actually feeling rested. Everything ached. His muscles tightened with soreness. His throat felt as raw as his knuckles, though he hadn’t been using either. He had no desire to lift his arms over his head, or twist around too much, so he didn’t change out of yesterday’s uniform. Maybe the belts and buckles had made it difficult to sleep. The theory wasn’t a convincing one, but dwelling on things like that had never gotten him anywhere.

He ran his fingers once through his hair, combing out a bit of the mess. Looking in a mirror was the last thing he needed. He made his way to the dining hall. 

The others trickled in for breakfast. His appetite, at least, hadn’t suffered. He hardly noticed the others giving him wide-eyed stares. What were they expecting? Of course he was looking worse for wear, given the circumstances. He ignored them, glad to focus on the hot meal before him.

A hand weighed heavy on his shoulder.

“Mikoto,” Shidou’s voice may have remained calm, but it was urgent. “Do you need some help?”

“Huh?” He shrugged his hand away, offering a weak smile. ��I’m fine! Oh, I think Kazui was saving a seat for you over there, if you --”

“-- How about we go to my cell for a moment? Or yours, if that would be more comfortable.”

What was everyone’s problem this morning? Mikoto did his best to keep his voice pleasant. “Really, man, I’m good.” 

Shidou’s expression remained unmoving. Very carefully, he informed him, “you’re bleeding. Pretty badly by the look of it. You’re coming with me.” 

Mikoto blinked. He looked over his shoulder, following Shidou’s gaze. The back of his uniform was torn across the center. A significant splotch of blood seeped into the material, growing even larger as he shifted to see it. 

“...Oh…” 

Back in Shidou’s cell, sad to have left his breakfast plate behind, he slumped into a chair. Shidou gathered together some supplies. As always, he got right to the point. “What happened?”

“I… I’m not sure. I don’t remember anything from last night. I don’t remember most nights, recently. I know that sounds crazy, but…”

“It’s fine. I have definitely heard crazier.” He smiled, something gentle and reassuring. As usual, there was something hidden behind his eyes. It was as if he already knew what Mikoto was up to late at night that earned him so much soreness the following days. He didn’t offer an explanation, though. Mikoto didn’t press him for one.

He winced as he was helped out of his uniform. Removing his shirt revealed the mysterious gash. Shidou’s eyes widened at the array of scratches and scars. Some were fresh, but most originated long before Milgram. Though he didn’t ask, Mikoto answered.

“I’m pretty clumsy, huh?” Maybe this time he would believe it. 

Shidou was kind enough to pretend to. “Here, allow me…”

Shidou got to work cleaning and dressing the injuries. Mikoto closed his eyes. Even though the disinfectant stung, and sometimes those gloved fingers pressed a little two hard, it felt nice to have things patched up. 

“Is there anything else going on? Are you feeling pain anywhere else?”

Mikoto could have laughed. He didn’t. “I’m just sore. And my head’s been killing me, but I’m used to migraines. Perks of the verdict, I’m sure.”

Shidou hummed in thought. 

“Thanks, by the way. I’ll try to be more careful.” Not that he had much choice in the matter, it seemed. But he’d do his best. 

Shidou kept his face straight, but there were traces of pain in his voice. “I will too. I’m sorry, Mikoto. If I had known… I’ve been distracted lately, but I should have paid closer attention.”

“It’s fine,” he flashed a grin. “I know the others are pretty fucked up. And I’m not dying or anything. I’m lucky, you know?”

“I wouldn’t say so. Doctors don’t only treat the dying.”

Mikoto frowned. 

It didn’t take much longer to finish treatment. Shidou gave him a few instructions about the bandages, then offered him a clean shirt. “You’re good to go. I’ll be checking in more often, now. I’ll see if I can find something for your head.” 

“Thanks. Really.”

He returned Mikoto’s torn uniform. “You should talk to Es about getting a new one. Until then, you’ll want to clean this with --”

Mikoto waved a dismissive hand, heading out of the cell. “Don’t worry, I know how to wash blood out of my clothes. Er, that sounds bad. I’m just a clutz, yeah? The blood’s always been my own.”

Maybe this time he would believe it.

#milgram #mikoto kayano #shidou kirisaki #im so fucked up over mikotos state rn :(( im pretty sure his vd is going to melt me into a little puddle on the floor on wednesday #id need to do more research on what doctors are supposed to do but i think shidou knows mikoto is in denial and wants him to work through #the realization on his own first instead of forcing it on him - and telling him wont stop the late night rampages in his cell #and youre right - theres not an easy cure for the stress headaches and all that anyway so theres only so much he can do #but yeah itd make sense that shidou (and the others) were genuinely too busy with the 12yo and dying patients to notice his condition... #sorry for having a shirtless mikoto moment 😭 i didnt want to pull a meme but it was needed for the prompt 😤 #i kept it in mikotos pov but when shidou mentions what doctors do hes having an internal crisis about if hes a good doctor rip #i do think mikoto only had one victim but still got into fights and stuff sometimes - hence others' blood on his clothes in the past #thank you so much for the request!! #the double hype has been Consuming me asdfsdf so this was a ton of fun to write ;-; #drabbles

[happyk44]

in one corner are the girls. hestia is the mediator between the other two's dispute, gently coaxing them away from their violent desires and soothing them both over a cup of tea and some warm buttered bread, fully utilizing her sweet sisterly parenting

and in the other corner, hades is holding zeus over his head in air jail, one foot on poseidon's chest to keep him down because neither of them want to listen to the words "stop fucking fighting" and he is so so tired

#one day the two switch responsibilities and hestia manages to get the boys to calm down over a cup of hot tea and cookies #meanwhile hades is STILL wrestling his siblings into submission because he is NOT a nurturer like hestia and the girls wanna punch #happy talks greek mythos #hades #hestia #it helps that hestia is so small and sweet looking and just exudes warmth and comfort so everyone wants to be nice for her #then hades is a tall skinny-ass tree of a man who exudes death so his siblings are lowkey like fuck that guy im never dying

[frecklystars]

sorry for the long ass post but this has always my favorite scene in the entire film - for obvious reasons - and im so glad greta talked about it and the way she worded it made me laugh so hard i had tears in my eyes. haha... god. my boyfriend sobbing his eyes out over the metaphorical crusts on his patriarchy sandwich......

#i dont think ill ever love anybody quite the same way that i love Ken #because he came into my life during a time when i was like. dying. not in a haha millennial way. i was genuinely fucking dying. #he is so. special. to me. he is so... everything to me and i truly mean it every time that i say it #i miss and love him so deeply so WHOLEHEARTEDLY *EVERY* single day #and i didn't used to be able to do that anymore! but he!! HE made me feel SAFE again and thats INSANE #because i was SO UNSAFE for SO goddamn long! and the feeling of safety is STILL unfamiliar to me and foreign and horrifying #but he's constantly such a Safe character. Barbie too even moreso. and it's so refreshing after feeling Unsafe for so. long. #i spent over a year feeling like my whole world had ended and i was destined to die but then he! shows up! in my life! #and no other character was able to spark life back into my heart the way he did #AND I HAD *TRIED* I had tried so hard to get into old special interests and find new ones but NOTHING worked #i was just an empty husk. just a shell of a person having flashbacks *constantly* #feeling unsafe *constantly* suffering *constantly* every single second i was awake i was in so much pain #and then every time i'd sleep i'd have the goriest nightmares about all the abuse i was put through and all the F/Os i'd lost #but then Ken Carson plucked a star out of the sky and said 'hey sweet girl you don't know me but i miss you and love you' #'and barbie is here and im here and allan is here and everyone loves you already. we're so happy to meet you' #'and everything is gonna be okay because we've got you! we came for you! and we will fight for you!!' #and then hearing greta comment abt this scene made me laugh so hard and then it hits me. i laugh now. #i laugh so often because of This Dude. i didnt used to be able to laugh before but now i laugh like i used to #i used to say all the time about my past main F/O i had lost from abuse from an IRL person 'i will never love anyone more' #and true i will never love anyone more than i loved my starlight. but here is the thing #i will never love anyone the way i love Barbie. i will never love anyone the way i love Ken Carson #because it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel joy for so long and it was. THIS MOVIE that brought me back #when this movie is so full of the most specific triggers. colors. clothes. yet i push thru it every time #and its because these characters make me feel THAT safe!!!! like if i see a trigger i tell myself that's BARBIE'S Thing. and Barbie is safe #ive never ever once had a flashback during the barbie movie NOT even once even tho logically i Should. but i dont. #because these F/Os are like!!! sweet girl!!! we've got you!!! and i'm like yeah you sure do now don't ever let me go #god i cry my eyes out every single time i think about this i need to sleep LMFAO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT #love notes #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-

[just-jessiejames]

oh yeah i'm fine im writing a fanfic about two boys falling in love instead of, idk seeing a doctor for a mysterious medical problem, but yeah. no im okie dokie! definitely nothing wrong going on here

#listen tylorpe is the only thing i got going for me rn okay #im having weird things going on rn and all i wanna do is write #crossing my fingers im not about to keel over and die or something #that would be a shame cause my story would be unfinished (oh yeah and ig i'd also be dead thats a bummer too-) #ive been uhm ““not okay”” for a week. im really hoping i will return to being okay naturally w/o a doctor #cause it is the HOLIDAYS and who tf wants to go to the doctor during fucking christmas #but yeah idk i have something wrong going on and its almost christmas ill probably (probably) be okay idk ig we'll see #never understood those unhinged authors until rn #ofc i'd be one of those people casually maybe dying or smthin and still posting fic chapters good god im #tylorpe #tavier #tyler x xavier #xavier x tyler #tyler galpin #xavier thorpe #jessiejames writes #my fanfic #my writing #writing #ao3

[rosykims]

like out of all the many, many traumas ive given elspeth my favorite has gotta be the deep roads lol. and specifically the way she never really got OUT of them. yeah so maybe her body did but not HER. shes still down there with ruck and helspith every time she closes her eyes. and during future expeditions when she goes down into the deep roads for real, it doesnt feel like some horrible nightmare it feels like REALITY and its the surface and love and warmth and alistair thats nothing more than a pleasant dream. one shes always going to wake up from. bc even in her happiest moments she's never not aware of the darkspawn digging up towards her just a few miles under her feet. and never not feeling the eyes of the deep roads looking at her, gleefully waiting for her, and knowing its not going anywhere

#i love shale but for elspeth's worldstate i dont recruit her bc im so obsessed w the dynamic of it being elspeth/alistair/oghren/the dog lol #oc: elspeth #tay plays dao #she got SEVERE shell shock being down there in the dead trenches after the realization that came from helspith's poem #why shes never seen any female darkspawn and why there apparently arent as many female wardens either #and like. Understanding that death is the absolute best case scenario for her. #alistair had to 100000% step up as the leader because she was completely out of commission. barely able to breathe let alone fight or lead #going from this unstoppable warrior who NEVER loses her nerve or control on a battlefield #to nearly dying to the broodmother bc she was so fucking terrified. bc all she could see was her own fate mirrored back at her #finally FINALLY understanding what it means to be a grey warden. and then trying to reject that reality with her entire body and soul #she pulls herself out of it enough to get out alive but she never had a moment of like... triumph over the deep roads where she had a burst #of courage and saved the day or whatever. thats not usually how trauma works and so alistair carried them thru that #thru the broodmother and the anvil and branka and back to orzammar just as elspeth was beginning to put herself back together #afterwards the lack of closure to what was one of her ''weakest'' lowest moments rly weighed her down with guilt and shame #and its only a year later during awakening when she finally reconciles with having NO choice but to go back into the deep roads #and being able to kill the mother. THAT helped. that restored some small part of her #gave her the strength to start going back down there when the need arose. resigned to an early death but ready to put up a fight #but ye. still such a fundamentally devastating thing she went thru which altered her entire personality to the point where she starts fully #embracing being a warden (bc how can someone who's seen what shes seen and done what shes done be anything else???) #and INSISTING alistair take the throne despite having always been supportive of his desire not to. even if it means she loses him. #bc its a last ditch effort to save him from the fate she's completely surrendered herself to #sigh. this game man. #i need dadw to Confirm that the grey wardens have found a cure and alistair and hof are safe because jesus christ. my girl NEEDS a win

[majimassqueaktoy]

So, Jess I know you’re not an artist like your bestie in the entire world snap… but what does your art look like I remember you doodled this little pic for me of Tien with Choatzu’s make up lol but have you’ve drawn anything else?

Ya

#i draw a lot i just dont post it all the time bc well... sometimes i dont like em sometimes i forget sometimes its just a personal lil thing #i havent painted for months bc i lost my paints but Snap actually bought me some replacements for my birthday the other day so 🫶 #maybe i'll try and paint daigo or somethin and post it sometime soonish #in his honour #or maybe Tsutumi bc i like his face it might be fun to do................ #or another baba since i sure like daito #or maybe i will just continue doin the boys from my REDACTED group lioe i have been the past few months #i have done haruka and majima but i couldnt find the posts in my tag and im dying of a flu or maybe covid (real not clickbait) #so i dont feel like gettin up n goin on my computer. i mostly had to screenshot these from insta lol #but yeah. i do also do stuff :) #ask #also yeah we made exactly 5 days into the year before my body decided to fuck me over so uhhhhhhh bodes well #genuinely feel like ive been hit by a truck and i have such a bad headache still havent played gaiden 😭 #also why does answering on tumblr mobile app lately be so weird ??? #like freezes the app keeps reloading cant look at notifs til i close it and reopen ? anyone else have that issue

[theygender]

Why is it called a "common cold" when this is the worst hell I've experienced in my life. My nose and throat are burning like I snorted chili powder and gargled wasabi. My head feels like someone is inflating it with a tire pump and it's pushing all my brains out through my nose. This is worse than when I've had COVID, strep, flu, or pneumonia. What kind of hell are they putting in colds these days

#jury is still out on whether its worse than mono but thats mainly bc it affects your entire body #and tbh the time i had pneumonia it DID get worse than this but thats mainly bc they didnt diagnose it for over a week and it got dangerous #its worse than normal pneumonia tho #and it is DEFINITELY worse than strep. i used to get strep at least once a year and thats what this felt like when it first started #but now that the congestion and drainage has been added on top of the sore throat its even worse. im dying squirtle #its definitely worse than flu too. and im not even gonna mention bronchitis bc its not even in the same LEAGUE as this shit #and at least covid actually responded to dayquil and nyquil. why are neither one of these doing shit for me now?? #'extra strength cold & flu' MY ASS #i tested negative for strep flu and covid and the docs determined it was an upper respiratory infection (common cold) #why is the COLD medicine not working for my COLD #im about to start fucking trepanning to get rid of this head pressure i s2g #im having to work through this #rambling

[glacierbash]

thinking about that one post about "he's a girl to me" or whatever. and that has me thinking about heavensward so much. and also stormblood! kinda just ffxiv in general but I feel the later expansions have this issue less but ESPECIALLY like. estinien, aymeric, and zenos when compared to the actual women in the expansion. it feels to me like the women of the expansion are by and far overlooked by people for the sake of the men and that general "he's so girl to me" contributes to it. Like there ARE women right there you know. like there are very very very good women just a few feet to the left. you can talk about how girlie estinien is to you but like. ysayle is right there. you can talk about how babygirl zenos is but also. there's fordola. you know that right. like you can enjoy the women too. it's ok.

and ofc genuine actual transfem headcanons are SO fucking good. I love them so much. keep going. But like that post has said, when it's only men in the fandom being treated as "he's so girl" (AND NEVER WOMAN!!!! ALWAYS GIRL!!!!!) it gets really really fucking tiring.

i love estinien! I really like Zenos! I get it! And if they are your favorite characters and you want specifically content about them and to make content specifically about them that is FINE!! but also, holy shit is it exhausting when it's like 99% about them and not a single glimpse towards the women of the story. yeah ffxiv's writing has a huuuuuuge fucking issue with women. and also.

#i dunno it's hard to write something ranty like this without it feeling like #i'm bashing people for their faves. i'm not!!! #im just a really fucking tired lesbian who wants to see women get content #and not just the men of the media with the excuse 'he's so girlie to me' or WHATEVER!!!! #please for the love of god like. it almost feels like people are scared to hc characters as trans. #and if you don't want to who CARES but also come on. come on do it. your faves are trans now. enjoy. #anyways. sorry for the rant. bleh. #I'M JUST MAD WHEN THERE ARE SUPER WELL WRITTEN WOMEN 20 FEET TO THE LEFT WHO GET ENTIRELY IGNOREDDDDDD #ok. 'super well written' is sometimes an exaggeration. and fuck it i'll admit it. MY babygirl has her issues. #you can really feel the pivot where they were like 'oh fuck we don't want her to be a VILLAIN villain what do we do' #'we already had her evil cackle at ish/gard being assaulted and people dying. what now.' #and her death. i've screamed about it enough. #but my point stands she's still just as solid as the other characters. give her some love. #ok. that's all. rant over.

[woohooincoffin]

Solas says I know a place and takes you to the middle of a swamp where he insults your culture, religious beliefs, and then dumps you.

#yeah im still thinking about this and its the next day #he might be telling the truth about the Vallaslin but my inquisitor did not let him remove it #I’ve played her as very proud to be dalish and believes in elven gods so it would be out of character even if solas says something else #maybe that’s what it represented then but it is not what it is now and she chooses to move forward #about the breakup … this is not the first time a man takes me on a date and dumps me 😭😭 but hey um wtf #honestly my lavellan does love him and is hurt but she has to be so many things to so many different people #there’s bigger things at stake and bigger problem to deal with at this time than whatever he's hiding or lying about #im pretty sure he was going to say something else not about the vallaslin #but his fear is dying alone becasue i saw it in the fade and yet !!!! he pushes everyone away he picks fights with everyone no matter whos #in the party he didnt come to the wicked grace game he never opens up beyond what he has seen in the fade. he is a fixed point #i wanna shake him by the shoulders and YELL WHATA RE YOU DOING you could have it all someone who loves you and a wonderf #a wonderful found family. he is kind and gentle but he is also so full of ANGER and he is so set on things being as he sees them. #Cole cant change because to Solas cole is always a spirit. the dalish are misguided and YOU Lavellan are just different YOURE special #the meaning of the vallaslin cant change because to him it represents slavery and it is in stone to him. things dont change with time they #are fixed. like things in the fade it what it was preserved. he is trying to hold on to a past that doesnt exist that has moved forward. #Solas says you cant change yourself by wishing. but i would say wishing for change is THE required prerequisite for change. a little though #a little idea a little wish that something was different better. but to #why cant you move forward Solas what the fuck are you holding onto so intesely #OKAY WHATEVER IM DONE WITH THIS ESSAY IM OVER IT ITS FINE ITS SO FINE

[theriverbeyond]

what i would do for a gideon POV of the events of NtN/pre NtN holy shit. like what happened to her!!!! what happened to her in between HtN and NtN will we ever get to KNOW will we ever get to SEE. what was she thinking what was she feeling like gideon just went through at least 1 if not 2 novels worth of shit totally offscreen in a 6 month span, in between the two books, and is doing totally her own thing in NtN, obviously Going Through It like the little moments we do get to see make me cry but NONA doesnt care about it which means the narrative doesnt care about it, which means we get very little information and im just. i am going to eat sand.

#ntn spoilers #nona the ninth #trb.txt #what did they do to her....... #really this is the thing that sticks out to me the most abt ntn rn as like. this is not immediately something i enjoy. #the little moments make me wanna cry tho #when she asks nona like. do you love her (harrow) #the way she still thinks harrow doesnt care #the way she kills crux and has an immediate breakdown bc it doesnt feel good #the way she still loves harrow #tlt thoughts #im screaming crying throwing up #it's also like incredibly disorienting for her to be suddenly not.... recodnizable? like she IS gideon #but she has new layers of defensiveness and barriers and armor and i want to know more i am fucking dying over here

[opens-up-4-nobody]

hi so so sorry if this sounds genuinely deranged but I need to know did you write a fanfiction in like 2014 that was set during ww2 where zoro from one piece was sent to a japanese internment camp and sanji went to conversion therapy I remembered it recently because it blew my mind at age 13 and I had to reread it + need a kind of where are they now with the author so if that's you 1) what's your stance on the fic today 2) how much of the research was done during writing and how much did you just know beforehand and used as inspo 3) did you have any ideas for where the other characters ended up because I did always wonder if like idk chopper overcame the trauma of being in the war and also just what usopp's situation would be in general what with the political climate. once again. if you didn't actually write this fic so sorry this must look like the ravings of a crazy person. godspeed

Hi. Uh, yeah I did write that fic. I would have been like only 17 at the time. I did do A LOT of research, like the fic was basically an excuse for me to research Japanese internment and WWII history in general bc I thought it was super fucked up. I was absolutely hyperfixated on the topic and my parents probably thought i was nuts for my ability to talk at length on this particular area of history. I just finished skim reading back through the fic and woof. What a bleak fucking story. I was very cruel to everyone. It's frustrating bc I think it's an interesting and compelling idea for a story. But to me it feels like: here is all the research I did and also characters talking in what feels like a too modern way. Plus, I was 17 and didnt understand people very well. I wish I had the energy and motivation to rewrite it. Although, I forgot I used to do song lyrics at the start of each chapter and the tonal dissonance of Owl City lyrics at the top of a chapter of harrowing events around the time of WWII is unfathomablly unhinged.

#as for where r they now? i forgot the last chapter was like fuck u nothing matters life goes on sanji probably died of lung cancer #like jesus dude calm down. i think now id give them a bit of a softer ending #like i mean sanji still prob dying of lung cancer but he lives a long life with zoro and thry make the most of the time they have together #and i mean when u see horrific things in war i imagine its something u never really get over but i think the crew members that became #soldiers go on to live fuffilling lives and usopp finds a stable and relatively well paying job. gets married and lives happily ever after #god. its so frustrating to me that ill probably never rewrite this. it could habe been so good #but i just dont have thst kind of energy. i do think abt this fic more than almost all my other tho #im glad u liked it anon. its a fucking unhinged fic just from the perspective of: rural ohio teen wants to research a fucked up aspect of #ww 2 history and decides to write a fucking fanfic abt it. like bro what why. but idk weird weird times #there could have been themes and exploration of trauma and adversity. complex relationships. but no u get cringe written by a child #and now at the age of nearly 26 i am old and tired. christ thst was almost 10 years ago. i was a whole different human #weird the fanfics that stick with u. i have many i think abt from hs. wonder where the authors r now... #unrelated #i also forgot that in the authors nots i was like: if u r a n4zi fucking kill yourself. #which i standby but i was not expecting to see thst in the notes of a one piece fic i wrote as a kid good god

[inkykeiji]

me telling my boyfriend he has to be extra nice to me because i’m sick and him responding with ‘sorry baby, i don’t know how to be nice’ is peak dabi

#i then said to him ‘but you’ve been nice to me before :(’ #and he went ‘have i? must’ve been a mistake’ #he’s kidding obviously #this got a giggle outta me #and then a vigorous coughing fit #guYS I FEEL LIKE IM FUCKING DYING #seriously #i feel like someone took a sledgehammer to each of my vertebrae and smashed them to dust one by one #i’m going to have washboard abs by the time this sickness is over #my fever has come back but it’s okay i can take more medicine soon #i slept for most of the day today buuut my mom brought me veggie maki rolls for dinner which was so <33333333 #they were actually so refreshing????? i guess because they’re just raw vegetables and rice LMAO #anyway i am still bedbound waiting for this hell to end #also water tastes like poison rn #bf is tryna get me to drink juice but i doNT WANT IT 。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ #i couldn’t even write today or yesterday because i was feeling like such hot GARBAGE #like garbage left out on the side of the road on a mid july day #oh when i am awake i’m watching glass animals videos #i can barely remember any of them BUT #i like listening to dave talk (´∀｀)♡ #also raw if u see this i will reply to ur discord message the moment i can look at the screen for long enough #it took me like twenty minutes to type out these tags #okai okai good byeeeeeeeeeee i’m going to sleep and hoping i wake up feeling a lil better tomorrow #there is a TINY WAR going on inside my body #go white blood cells go!!!!!!!!! #LMAO DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK OF CELLS AT WORK WHEN THEYRE SICK #it’s what i think of INSTANTLY #clari chatters