#im still like :))))))))))

[stars-n-spice]

Ahsoka Spoilers Under the Cut!!

Fuck.

If you told me I'd get live action Clone Wars after I finished watching it like a year ago I would've been like "Omg really?"

And if you told me after Kenobi was done and finished I would've laughed in your fucking face.

#im still like #processing it #like #it feels like i dreamt it up #but no #absolutely insane #AND THEN TO HAVE THE FUCKING SIEGE OF MANDALORE?!?! #FUCK MAN #ugh #but my husband returns from war <3 #now give me old man rex you cowards PLEASE #to be fair he'd be REALLY old in Ahsoka #but idc #i just want to see him :( #ahsoka #ahsoka spoilers #ahsokaspoilers #star wars #captain rex #anakin skywalker

[madame-mongoose]

WHERE DID ALL YOU PEOPLE COME FROM

#WOWOWOOWOW #THANK YOU??? #I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS #IM STILL LIKE #SHOCKED AT HOW MANY PEOPLE FOLLOW ME NOW #literally two months ago i only had like 200/300 #now HERE #WOW #THANK YOU AGAIN #maybe i should do something for this???

[fl0w3ry]

Nobody look at me ever

#im still like #in complete shock like #what #what do i do now #like #i #i dont #what happens now #my dream made it worse

[chaoticmiichii]

Request done!!!!11

IT WAS COMPLICATED LMAO

#shinobu kochō #art request #im still like #learning so... #its bad lol #i tried lmao #also shinobu *was* my favorite kny charac so i had fun drawing her :))

[faerociousbeast]

STABBING MYSELF i dont think theres any fancontent of this comic. this world really just wants me fucking dead huh hates me sooo much

#IM STILL LIKE #IT HAD THE BEST PLOT TO DATE AND YOU JUST #HEY #HEYYYY #SO HE'S JUST GONE?????????? LIKE MIMOSA #LOST TO THE VOID OF this thing was never continued and we fucked off right before it got cancelled so now we're just. #nobody will ever know where we are #WHY #COME BACK

[faerune]

begging you on my hands and knees to elaborate on Thea's relationship with Seelah and why Thea became a paladin🙏

😳🥺 ahhhhhhh ok WELL

Thea originally was an enslaved pit fighter/gladiator in Oppara! The man who purchased her raised her like a daughter (she referred to him as 'father') and she soon became his favorite for her brutality and willingness to do anything to receive affection/avoid punishment. She was """rewarded""" with a nice bedroom, fine clothes, accompanied him to events, etc. He was showing her off but to Thea it was the only affection she'd ever known. She was a favorite of others in the arena fights too.

Unfortunately, abuse in and out of the ring was common place for her though it was normalized. Including, when Thea was "old enough" (no. she was not.) her father allowed noble men to buy her as an "accompaniment"/"date" for the night. Which, Thea blocked a lot of that out and like anyone trying to survive focused on the "good things".

Eventually, when she was in her late teens, she killed her father and fled due to an Event that I haven't decided yet - either finding out her parents didn't willingly sell her/give her up after being told that for most of her life or finding out that her father was intent to install her as a permanent mistress in a nobleman's home because she was "lacking luster" in her fights.

Either way! Good for you boo <3 Even if she does have massive trauma about it.

Anyways, Thea fled north to the River Kingdoms and found succor in a temple of Iomadae. She was very resistant to their preaching at first and really just went along with it because they gave her food and a roof. But she came to really admire the paladins and clerics and priests there especially with how much they were able to help people so she asked to be trained. Thea holds a lot of guilt and trauma for her past and she so wanted to be good. It's such a complex with her and she very much places those who trained her/other paladins on a pedestal to aspire to even though they're people like her.

I think that Thea also needs a reason for why what happened to her happened. And it's hard to blame her father. It's hard to muddle through those conflicted feelings that come with abuse because her father was the one person who ever showed her affection and she perceived him as "saving her" when he bought her. He clothed her, fed her, trained her, praised her and she just struggles to reconcile that. So, in some weird way she blames Iomadae? She lays herself at the goddesses feet and says if I wasn't worth saving then make me worth it now which is SO SAD.

She's just got a lot of anger and trauma and sometimes she feels that violence is the only thing she's good for and all of that is wrapped in this faux personality of who she wants to be and who she can never be because it's just not attainable. Thea presents herself as this guardian and pure and noble instead of dealing with her problems.

ANYWAYS IM SAD NOW.

Seelah is Thea's first experience with a paladin outside of the temple she trained in and is so unlike those people!! She's not as judgy as them and she curses and makes mistakes and drinks like a sailor and is good just for the sake of being good all with having grown up terribly like Thea.

#JESUS CHRIST THIS IS SO LONG #im so sorry #im still like #pokin at her character and shaping her so i start rambling my bad #oc: thea #asks

[mercuryferns]

it's creator appreciation day and i just wanted to tell you that i do enjoy your art and content :) it's always such a treat and you clearly has so much effort, and attention to detail put into every piece.

NOOOO PLEASE IM GOING TO GO SO SO SO INSANE OVER THIS /pos

Hey, man! THANK YOU! What a fucking sweet thing to say to someone for no reason. Wowowowwoow. I seriously seriously appreciate it.

#asks #anon #AAHHHH? #AAAAAA #this is so so so sweet #thank you #im still like #wow

[rat-tomago]

tfw i can navigate morrowind better than the city i live in

#self.txt #tesblr #tes #morrowind #literally ive lived here 4 like 5 years and half the time when im going down a street #im still like #WHOAAA THIS STREET GETS U 2 THIS PART OF TOWN??? #meanwhile in morrowind im like oh yea just go southeast from aldruhn til u hit the ghostfence then go south then go east at the split

[dinopant]

ykno mlp reaLLY almost had something with the last season with, its not the kindness from the hero that changed them. but being surrounded by those who understand where you come from fundamentality and maybe mutually “bad” ppl can be the ones to help each other grow

#goat chatter #sorry not to be deep about fuckin ponies #but like #im still like #what the fuck was that ending

[cutemeat]

if sunny moves to hulu thats how u know

#im still like #why else do all that hulu promo for s15 #they were testing the waters to see if they do better streaming numbers than cable ratings right??? #like thats why rob talked abt being in the top on hulu #theres a reason theyre watching those numbers right lmao

[mybreadsmybutters]

when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance

#dan and phil fanfiction changed me #come into my lady door #and teen me saw that and went “i need to be that so fuckan bad” #i wanted to be dan but now that im a mature adult i understand that phil is better. phil guy 5ever nowadays #do i tag this as dan and phil. i still dont know tumblr site tagging norms and im like a year in now #dan and phil #dnp #phan

[mrtequilasunset]

Listen man, you guys can't be like "you guys need to be normal about asexuality" and then turn around and get weirdly judgemental when you find out someone doesn't have sex by choice. Like that's weird that some of you do that.

#like I love sex im glad we're hyping it up #but also genuinely some of you have got to learn how to be normal around people who dont want to have sex #even if you're not talking about asexuality when you say stuff like that you're still being a weirdass #im not ace myself but i keep seeing posts that come across like they're taking it personally that other people don't want to have sex #it sounds like theyre trying to prove something to someone

[obsob]

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

#and also. am a ilittlel kitty :3 #mine #cats #brain empy. felt tip cats ONLY #we were promised snow today n then they decided actually :) rain all day for u #i bought new wool for a cardigan today im SO excited its gna be so colourful #i was going to do some sort of Thing on the back like a heart or something but im still too scared to do colour changing stuff #maybe....maybe next time #i think i will try a patter w like. an actual grid with it first rather than just rawdog it #bc i . do not know what im doing :3

[spitblaze]

considering how many transmascs were legitimately way angrier BEFORE starting T and have since calmed down significantly have we perhaps considered that maybe the reason so many cis dudes are angry and aggressive isn't because of testosterone but maybe. like. personal issues. unmet needs. a social climate that teaches them that there are only like three acceptable emotional outlets for men max and one of them is being angry and shouting

#spitblaze says things #source: i got angry SO easily before i started t #i had jokes about the list of things you could say to me that would make me rant and rave in a fury #i still have things that piss me off but im not like. to that degree #doin numbers

[skrunksthatwunk]

see 0 note flop posts aren't that bad when they're personal but 0 note fandom posts feel literally so bad. like if you don't wanna play toys with me anymore just say that. i'll pack up my super cool awesome things and go and i'll sit on the other side of the playground by myself and i won't even look at you. fuck

#yes i AM thinking about a particular post. no it wasn't that good but still. a moment of heartache for sure #like it feels so bad but im too prou dto delete it and also too lazy

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum