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plush-rabbit · 1 year

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Loneliness Back at Home

TW: self-degradation

Word Count: 2.2K

A/N: Can yall guess the feelings that im going through rn

Of course they were going to move on with their lives. What became frequent and everyday text messages, slowly turned to once a week, and then once every two weeks, and then once every month, and then you were given a meme, and a reaction, and you should have seen it coming. You should have prepared yourself for the breakup of a friendship.

You were a fool to believe that you would still be adored after months of separation. Even Lucifer had warned you about it when you asked for your D.D.D. to accept calls and messages from the Human Realm. He had only scowled and told you that it would be a waste, that human relations hardly ever last long distance and you fought with him, tears burning in your eyes, and shame on the tips of your ears, telling him that it wasn’t going to be like that, arguing with a man older than you could ever comprehend about something childish in his eyes. He had only relented when you threatened to ask Lord Diavolo yourself for a connection plan to the Human Realm. You cannot fathom how smug he’ll be when you tell him to cancel the phone line to the Human Realm.

Tears well up in your eyes and it’s becoming difficult to swallow whatever is lodged in your throat. The crown of your head hits the back of your headboard and you dig your nails into your palms, forcing for the tears to stop.

No, you are not going to cry over them. Friendships come and go. You always told yourself you were the least liked, the one who they felt like they had to invite, the one who didn’t really fit in, the one who thought of everyone as a close friend but no one else thought the same. You were only there to fill the gaps, nothing more. You had to prepare yourself because you knew the truth, because the others were too kind to ever tell you otherwise.

And yet, it did nothing to soften the pain of rejection and abandonment.

In the loneliness of your mind, you told yourself that when you went back to the House of Lamentation, you’d be quieter, you’d be less of a nuisance- you’d be likable.

Your friends were sitting around you, laughing and talking, and every conversation that they had were about moments when you weren’t there. They had jokes that were unknown to outsiders, and you sat there, as an outsider, as someone marring their meet-up, as an onlooker and nothing else. They dropped you off, and later in their stories, you saw that they went out without you.

It wasn’t that you wanted them to have fun without you- you much prefer if they showed the world how happy they were rather than hide their happiness to spare your feelings anyways- but it was them ignoring you, looking the other way. You’d speak up and your words would be drowned by others, and your sentence would be snuffed before it had even begun to light.

You let the sting last throughout the night and in the morning when you went to the store, you saw them at the self-checkout, and they were smiling. Their contact lit your screen and you thought about calling them, about giving them a cheeky, “look up” and waving at them- a final outreach of friendship- but you stopped yourself. They hadn’t invited you, what would make you think that they would want to say hello to you. No, you saved yourself from that humiliation, from your own desperation and walked further into the store. You walked away, buying time to make sure that they left the store so you could save each other from the awkward hellos.

Everyone that you passed in the market seemed content in their life, as you walked alone, clutching your items awkwardly in your hands. You saw the back of their clothes as they walked out the store and you replaced them where they once stood in line.

Love echoes in the walls, and you miss the way that you were once loved.

There is no notification from your phone- no goodbyes, no concerns. You’re gone from their lives, nothing more than a memory, something for them to smile about when they remember something that you once said. To you, they are still everything, you weren’t ready to say goodbye, and all the love you have for them leaks from your heart and spills itself on the collar of your shirt and stains your hands.

“Hey-” he walks into your room,eyes closed and a sort of upturned nose type of attitude, with his phone and charger, held tight in his hand- “you promised that when you got back we’d-” he looks up at you, and stops, falling silent. “Shit,” he curses under his breath, “you okay?”

You roll your lips into your mouth, nipping at the bottom, and your vision is getting blurry, the light from your lamp streaking in the corner of your vision. You hum, nodding your head, and it sounds painful- high-pitched and forced, and when he says your name, closing the door behind him, you cry.

The comforter wrinkles under you, and any of the high and mighty acts of him not loving you, crumbles as you do.

“Hey, hey,” Mammon mutters, “you okay? Who- What happened?” His arms wrap around you, and you’re pressed to his chest, the warmth burning against your cheeks.

“The trip was a total bust,” you spat out in tears. Your hands twist into the fabric of his shirt, and you try to calm down. You told yourself that you would be likable- that you would be quieter than all of this needless wailing.

“What happened?” He asks, running his hand under your shift, manicured nails running up and down your spine. Your chest shudders with every breath that you take, and you try to bury yourself deeper into him. “You can tell me-” at another pitiful attempt of choking back a sob, he quickly adds- “or not. There’s no pressure. Just uh- know that I’m here for ya, all right?” His hand stops in the middle of your back, and he traces loops and circles down your back.

“It’s like we weren’t even friends,” you murmur. “They were laughing and going out, and having fun without me and- fuck!” Your legs twist and rub themselves over each other, begging for something to swallow you whole, to have you disappear from sight. “It sounds so selfish when I say it outloud. I- I just wanted them to have fun with me.” You wish you cried in the shower where he wouldn’t have been able to see you.

“That doesn’t sound so bad. Everybody’s selfish around here, ya know.” His other hand has sneaked to hold onto your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles. “We must’ve rubbed off on ya or somethin’.”

“At least people like being around you. I mean- fuck,” you whimper, twisting yourself further into him. “Is it me? Like it has to be me, right?” You croak out, eyes wide with horror, and nails clawing into your skin as a repayment, because of course it is you, and of course you have to pay for it- for being so annoying, so demanding, so unlovable.

“No, no,” he coos, twisting himself to hold you, his arms snaking around you, legs intertwined with yours, trapping you beside him, subjecting himself to his own torment. “It isn’t you,” he tells you.

“But it’s me that they’re leaving,” you say in a hushed voice. “It’s not the other way around. I’m the one that’s being left behind. Even at work, I don’t have friends- like sure they tolerate me, but they don’t like me.” Your voice starts to give, it’s uneven and wavers with each syllable. “Even with my friends from the Human Realm, they’re laughing and talking and I-” your heart breaks, and you feel the sting of rejection burn and sear itself across your body. “I felt alone. I felt-” you stop yourself. You felt like you were a child again, picked last for a group project, sitting alone at lunch, begging that the teacher would assign groups, stomach twisting and turning at the thought of gym, desperate to keep your friends by sacrificing every bit of yourself. Your tears stop for a moment, and your lungs are filled with air, expanding and too much to bear. “I felt pathetic.”

“Don’t say that,” he says softly.

“But I am. I really thought they were going to miss me the way that I missed them. But they were done with me. I was the one begging for the meet up. I was the one initiating conversations.” You let out a sigh, and rise, pulling away from him. “I- I thought I was at least someone’s favorite- that maybe they still considered me a friend.” A sob breaks through your ramble. “I held out onto some stupid hope that someone could tolerate me.”

“I tolerate you,” he adds quickly.

You let out a breath, pushing it out of your body. “You didn’t before,” you counter and he winces. “You were forced to like me and fuck, Mammon.” You intake a large breath and you’re unable to keep it in your body. “I’m sorry for how annoying I was.” You dip your head down, and feel your tears drip down.

“You weren’t,” his voice is low, and his hands cup at your cheeks, and lift you up. “I was just annoyed at Lucifer- it was never for you; it just had to be or Lucifer would’ve had my ass swinging from the ceiling.” You snort, rubbing at the tip of your nose and sniveling. Your forehead meets his shoulder, and his warmth isn’t as suffocating as it was moments before. “There ya go, got you smilin’. That must count for somethin’.

“Counts for a lot,” you mutter, turning your head to rest your cheek over his shoulder, your nose ghosting over the side of his neck. There’s a moment of silence, of you reaching your arms around him and bunching up the back of his shirt and stretching in downwards. The tag of his shirt peeks out. “I can’t believe I have to tell Lucifer that he was right,” you moan, pressing yourself closer to him.

“Yeah,” Mammon breathes out, his fingertips dancing along the line where your shirt begins along the nape of your neck, “he’s never gonna let you live that down.” His head knocks softly against yours, and you let out a humorless chuckle.

“Great,” you say with sarcasm twisted into your words. You pull away from him, and he sits tall, watching as you sit on his lap, hands sliding from the back of his shirt, across his chest, and resting over his shoulders. “What if I don’t tell him? Just you know-” you loll your head to the sides a few times- “let him waste money.”

“He’d kill ya,” Mammon says without a smile. He leans forward, the tip of his nose pressed against yours in a faux bunny kiss. “And who would I have backin’ up my ideas?”

Your eyes close and a smile stretches softly. “You could always bribe Beel, and after that Belphie would follow. Asmo would join for the heck of it, and if you twist Levi’s arm enough, he’d join too.” You pause. “Satan would just need the excuse to piss off Lucifer.”

“Ha!” He pulls away and you lean back into him, the labor of crying and self-pitying finally catching up to you. “You think about leavin’ my side often or what?”

“Or what,” you say in a whisper that ghosts over his neck. “I like thinking.”

You feel the smile on his lips as he presses a chaste kiss against yours, letting his lips flutter against your tear-stained skin. “Funny-” his lips kiss your skin once more. “Anyways,” his chest pushes out as he exhales, and you’re grateful he’s warm, or else you would have buried yourself under blankets while you cried yourself to sleep. You hum in response, and let a hand of yours fall to the mattress, and toy with the end of his shirt, your knuckles brushing alongside his bare skin every now and then. “You feelin’ better?” He asks in a soft voice. “I helped?” You smile at how eager he is to hear how he helped, and you wished he asked earlier so you could praise him and kiss him, and hold him in your arms as if he were a lifeline in the middle of the vast sea.

You nod. “You helped,” you agree, placing a gentle kiss where the soft of his skin gives away his emotions. “You helped plenty, Mammon. I’m not crying myself to sleep, so I’m counting that as a win.”

The bed sinks and you feel the dip even as you lay on him. Something soft covers you, and you don’t have the strength to open your eyes and see what it is. “Good, good,” he says quietly, turning his head to place a kiss against the side of yours. “‘S what I’m here for.”

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chiiyuuvv · 6 months

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CAFE - MINJAE °

• PAIRING — idol!leader!minjae x idol!leader!reader (side characters yechan, and one of your members)

• GENRE — not really implied childhood besties, kind of pinning?? Idk lol

• WORD COUNT — 941

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — @moonlightdarlings im so sorry this took DAMN NEAR A MONTH im sobbing rn pls forgive me 😭🙏

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

"Minjae!!" The doors chime as you step foot into the cafe, the camarel walls and dim lighting giving you a comfy vibe. The latter looks up from his phone, the black mask covering half of his face along with his black rim glasses.

He waves at you, giving you a big eye smile as he shoo's off yechan, that runs straight to your member. "How are the kids?" He pulls down his mask to show his toothy grin.

"You know.." you sigh, looking over your shoulder to find yechan and your member doing their complicated handshake. "No one told me leadering would be hard." Minjae laughs at your remark as you shake your head.

"Eh, their better than how you were when i used to babysit you."

"Babys- minjae, we're the same age!!" Minjae laughs again, his head throwing back against the cushion of the booth. "Yeah sure.." he waves it off before passing you your favorite drink. "But no seriously, how have you been doing these days?"

The playful mood shifts to a more serious one as he leans forward in his seat, twirling his straw around some of his boba. His eyes grow deeper as he studies your face, your posture, checking to see if there was any dark circles around your eyes.

And thats when you knew you could trust him with your whole heart, his body language laced with genuine concern. "It's been alright so far.. the members just got off from their vacations, and we are starting to prepare for our comeback."

"Has anyone been giving you a hard time or anything?" Not only was he genuinely concerned, he was also protective. If anyone was giving you trouble, they were sure to know minjaes name. He didnt just care for his members, he cared about you too.

"No, jae." You give a side ways smile, in which he returns, the tips of his ears going red because of the nickname you just gave him. You've been using that name for a while and although he should've gotten used to the feeling, the soft spot for you still manages to increase.

"How have you been doing?" You return the question as the boys eyes light up, his hands going through his hair as he talks about his day. You laugh along with him when he retells a joke that one of his members, hyunwoo, had told him before he left, taking a bite out of your strawberry doughnut.

"Mm jae, this is so good." You cover your mouth as you speak so that crumbs dont go flying everywhere. Minjae nods as you lift up the doughnut. "I decided to try out a new flavor today." He bites into his own doughnut. "I got blueberry."

"Ooh, lemme try!" You lean over the table with your mouth opened wide, minjaes giggles filling up the small space as he gives you a bite. Your eyes close as you savor the flavor, licking your lips to get the remainder of the blueberry sauce off of you.

It wasnt until you opened your eyes when you realized how close you were to minjae, his hand covering his mouth as he gives you the prettiest eye smile, grabbing a tissue to wipe off some of your cheek. "Messy~" he whispers before giggling again, his eyes looking deep into your own as you smile back, your cheeks flushed.

"Hyung! Can you record a tiktok for us?" Yechan pokes minjaes shoulder as he turns his head, sending you a glance as he nods at the younger. "Yeah, this shouldnt take long." He gets up, gesturing you to get up too with his hand.

After cleaning some of your mess in a hurry, you stand next to the boy, his arm wrapping around your shoulder. "Oop, you got something else." Minjae stops to wipe off your cheek again, the duo ahead of you groaning as they stop. "Can you hurry up and stop being a couple?!" Yechan exclaims, your member covering her mouth to hide her laughs.

"Yeah, yeah." Minjae shakes his head, the tips of his head lighting up again as the duo drags you to a small section of the cafe. Minjae props up his phone against the wall as he stands beside a vending machine, making sure everything works properly.

He gives them a thumbs up before coming to stand by you again, his arm back to wrapping around your shoulder. "What trend is this?" You ask, your arms cross as you watch your member laugh at yechan for making a mistake.

"Oh, you havent seen it before?" His eyebrows were raised as he pointed at the two, your head shaking. "Lemme show you." He grabs both of your hands, lifting one up to twirl you around, letting out a laugh when you get a little dizzy.

"Okay so you're supposed to step to the left with your right foot, then vice versa, kinda making a crisscross shape." He advises, his hand on your hip. "And then you jump! With a spin!!" He adds as you try to do, but you end up loosing your balance, letting out a soft shriek as minjae quickly catches your body.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion when you land in minjaes arms, you hands placed on his chest as you breathe heavily, your noses booping and your lips inches apart.

His mouth drops open as he stares deep into your eyes, some butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

"Hyung? You didnt press the record button. Hyung??"

"Let them be," you member shakes her head, chuckling softly. "I think oppa and unnie would be a good couple."

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leclerced · 5 months

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for the sake of this request let’s say that when lando crashes , (the crash is worse than what it actually was) after the race, oscar is allowed to the hospital since he is a driver but bunny can’t go so like after the race she is laid up in their hotel room with all the other drivers who are involved and it’s just a whole lotta comfort and they are all so distraught not only because they have no idea how their friend is doing but also because bunny is such a mess like they’ve never seen her. she may care for all of them in special ways , and even loves osc , but at the end of the day lando is her first love. she doesn’t know how to breathe without him. and they can’t do anything to help her except for hold her and pet her hair and promise her things will be okay even if they can’t know that for sure.

pls ! im drawing on every car crash episode of greys anatomy for this rn *cough*derek*cough*george*cough*callie*cough*

the hospitals basically on lockdown bc they don’t want any news getting out or press getting in and for drama lets say oscar doesn’t even have time to get his phone before he’s whisked away to the hospital after the race. bunny knows oscar’s okay because she saw him finish, saw him briefly before he left when he hugged her and kissed her through her tears as he promised he’d call once he got to the hospital. he’d end up calling from the hospital line to talk to her and tell her he doesn’t know anything but lando’s in surgery. that they’re not letting anyone in so she just has to wait at the hotel and he’ll come home after he sees lando. he’d hang up before she could ask any questions because he’s scared his voice will give out and she’ll hear how scared he really is and he needs to be strong for both of them because she’s the one losing- no ones losing anything he’d remind himself.

all the drivers are scared but they wouldn’t even let themselves feel anything bc she’s feeling everything. max is would playing with her hair after she’s cried herself to sleep on his chest. they’re all around her; alex curled up behind her with charles on the other side of max’s chest with an arm around her, wedged between her back and alex’s chest. they came in one by one. max was with her right after the crash and brought her back to the hotel, then charles found them. then alex. one by one more joined until the bed was full and they had to sit on the floor or lean on a wall, eventually sliding to sit when their legs got tired. even after she’d exhausted herself they’d all be watching her, hoping lando’s okay, hoping she’d be okay if he wasn’t.

just knowing they all care helps a tiny bit, not being alone helps. seb would’ve booked a flight out immediately to be there with them and he’d probably arrive once they’ve gotten news that lando’s okay. she’d feel bad bc she’d selfishly want oscar in that moment bc he’s the only one who gets the way she feels about lando but lando can’t be alone and oscar’s the only one who can be with him. oscar would get to see lando post surgery and get the all clear that he’s stable and should be coming off anesthesia in a few hours, but that oscar has time to go back and rest, shower, eat and then there would be news when he returned.

she’d still be asleep when he returns and max would start to wake her but before he can, oscar would stop him. he’d tell everyone lando’s okay and he’d give more news when it was available and ask them all to leave so they can be alone. she’d probably wake up in the scuffle of everyone leaving even though the ones surrounding her do their best to detangle without waking her. once they’re alone they’d curl up together and he’d tell her everything he knew about the crash and lando’s condition and that he was okay, that was the important thing. they’d be able to see him later, oscar ensured that they would let her in. and for the first time ever, oscar would tell her how scared he was of losing them. he wouldn’t be able to keep it in after almost losing lando like that, i don’t think he’d even realize how strongly he felt about them until he almost lost lando, but the three of them are a lot closer afterwards bc of it, her and oscar would practically become doctors w how much they dote on lando in recovery.

#ask #anon #blindfold universe #didnt proof read this sry for typos or whatever #angsty

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im-gonna-squeet · 8 months

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Donnie burnout fic

Donnie is exhausted and finds themself unable to do the tings they normally can, and knows one person that can always help.

ao3

Donnie was having a bad day. A bad week– a bad month, even.

None of their projects were going right, their joints were acting up, they couldn't sleep properly, they'd gotten injured on what should've been a fairly easy mission, and now, they hardly had the energy to eat or talk.

It wasn't fair. They could usually work for days or weeks uninterrupted — with the exception of sleep and snack breaks, of course, their siblings wouldn't let them neglect themself like that, and they could never turn down Angelo's cooking — and be fine. They could make anything he wanted. So what was different this time?

What had changed?

Why couldn't they do this?

What was wrong with them? And how could they fix it?

Donnie didn't like change, which made such a drastic pivot in their ability all the more distressing (which, in turn, made them feel worse, feeding the cycle like an ouroboros).

Logically, they knew that rest would be the best thing, and they honestly wanted nothing more than a nap, but they couldn't when they were this stressed because they had so much to do. And none of it was going to get done. Because their stupid brain couldn't just function correctly!

There wasn't even that much to do. They ENJOYED doing these things! What was the point if they couldn't even do the one thing they were good for!?

They slammed their newest failure on the desk, breathing hard.

"shit." They winced and rubbed at their watery eyes under their glasses. Closing their eyes, they tried to even out their breathing, snapping them out of that all too familiar spiral.

This wouldn't help. It would only make it worse. They needed to not be alone right now. So they grabbed their phone and texted the first person they thought of.

ctrl + c

Don-Bon: Cn i cme sit w u?

Don-Bon: yes pls, ly

Nardo: yea im in my room

need a portal?

Nardo: ly2

Moments after that last text was sent, a small, vibrant blue portal opened up right in front of them.

They reflexively lowered their third eyelid to shield themself from the brightness.

Once they stepped through, they saw Leo sitting at the corner of his bed, leaning against the wall with one knee to his chest, controller in hand.

Donnie said nothing as they flopped next to their twin, leaning against him with their legs folded over Leon's, softly butting his head with their own.

Returning the headbutt, Leo reached down and pulled a weighted blanket out from beside his bed, wrapping it around his twin. "You okay, hermana?" he asked, not removing his arm and resting his head on top of Donnie's.

Donnie relaxed, glad to have their twin as company. They hesitated slightly before shaking their head, manifesting a small teleprompter screen in front of them. ‘bad. cant talk rn’, it read.

“ok, that's alright, I'm just gonna finish this game and then we can watch something, yea?” Leo rubbed their arm before removing it to continue gaming.

Donnie nodded, slumping further into Leo's side as they watched him play.

~~~~

After Leo finished his game, the twins wordlessly agreed on watching The Great British Baking Show, calm but still fun. Leo grabbed his laptop with one arm, wrapping the other around Donnie before shimmying them both into a lying position.

From there they shuffled around a little, finding the optimal snuggling position, then positioned the laptop at a comfortable angle for both of them.

"This ok?" Leo asked.

Donnie nodded.

After a few minutes, Leo spoke up again, "wanna talk about it?", he ventured.

Donnie took a breath, fiddling with their hands as they deliberated on how to word it.

The teleprompter re-appeared. 'it feels like nothings going right recently. And logically I KNOW that it's not my fault, but I can't help but blame myself, y’know? Im supposed to be the genius, the one that fixes everything. If I can't do that then what CAN I do?'

Leo took a moment to process the message, absentmindedly running his hands over Donnie’s neck and shell in soothing motions. "Tello I know you find this difficult to believe, but you are absurdly intelligent and so good at so many things, i mean you created ACTUAL, SENTIENT AI and are raising him better than our dad raised us, you're incredible in so many ways but you're working yourself too hard, you're burning the candle at both ends and it's unsustainable. Burnouts like these are going to happen when you do this to yourself.”

And Donnie knew these things, of course they did, but it was really really nice to hear it from someone else, especially someone they cared about so much. 'I know and I want to stop but I don't really know how? like i've been doing this for so long i don't know what else to do'

Reading this, Leo leaned over and kissed Donnie on the head, staying in that position whilst he talked, "im proud of you, Dee, we're all so, so proud of you, and we'll help you figure it out. All of us."

At this Donnie felt the prickling of tears in their eyes as their vision blurred. They didn't try to stop a quiet sob from escaping them, 'I love you'

"Aww, Dee, I love you too" Leo wrapped both of his arms around them, holding them close. They stayed like that for a while, Donnie quietly crying his frustrations into Leo's chest as he softly told them how loved and cherished and valued Donnie is to everyone they know.

And after a while, Donnie calmed, and Leo asked a question he already knew the answer to, "Do you wanna invite Apes over for a movie night tomorrow?"

Donnie nodded, already thinking about what movies to watch and meticulously going over every detail.

"Good, but for now, how about we watch some idiots bake and you can tell me exactly what they're doing wrong?". Donnie grinned, wiping the stray tears from their face as they prepared to make Leo regret ever suggesting that.

reblogs > likes

#disaster twins #rottmnt #leonardo hamato #donatello hamato #hurt/comfort #nonbinary donatello #nonbinary donnie #disabled donatello

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themysteryome · 11 months

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sometimes I feel like loneliness will crush me into nothingness.

I can’t talk to my sister about everything cause she’s half my woes and worries sometimes and I can’t talk to my friends because they just don’t quite get it and the people who said they love me have been radio silent for weeks and I’ve been let down by to many people to fully trust that they’ll still be there for me two three weeks/months later even if I were to talk to anyone now. I even loved a man that I don’t hear from anymore despite his promises to always be there romantic relationship or no and I find it impossible to tell anyone about him because I was the second half of an open relationship he mishandled right at the end. I wish someone knew me well enough and loved me enough to look at me and see that I’m struggling even though I don’t know specifically what I’m struggling with but I know I feel lonely and bad and I want a hug from someone who just gets it.

I think I’m happy at work rn, I’m not actively unhappy at least but sometimes it feels like I agreed to switch shows just to have the rug pulled out from under me every time I think I’ve got it together and I’m surrounded by my peers and yet I live in a completely different world from them and I constantly fear that I have built the wall that stands between us and that even as I wish desperately to tear it down my hands continue to add bricks to it and it grows taller every day

I turn 24 next week. I feel as I have lived a lifetime between when I turned 18 and now. It is exhausting. I wish I could call my dad. I wish I had a proper mother instead of whatever drunk mess I grew up with and watched disappear into the chaos of the world. I wish I knew where to go from here. I wish someone could tell me everything is ok, that I am ok and I wish I could trust them instinctively but that person doesn’t exist. I wish I could call my dad. I want to hear him answer the phone one more time. I’m convinced it would fix me and instead I feel doomed to stay a raw jagged edge forever, never fitting into the puzzle of happiness that everyone else is building

I’m jealous of the new family and the support system my sister has created and found back in california. I feel like a stranger every time I go back. I don’t know these people in the intimate and homely way I used to. I feel like a stranger or a guest in spaces I used to move through as easy as breathing. My ex boyfriend calls my sister his sister to people I have never met but only calls me if im in town and he’s single. I don’t know that place anymore but my own home feels too empty if im there for more than a couple days.

#i just feel wrong and tired and I just want to have a chance to love someone #and I want to be seen by someone else and loved on purpose for who I am #and then I want that to last forever #i just want to feel okay again

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bitchfitch · 3 years

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siri, how do i politely tell a guy that his dick isnt big enough for him to be booty calling me at 1 am

#nobodies dick is big enough for this #Fuck Offfffffffffffffffffffff #im having Me time #like #im still on the phone with him rn because he could talk to a wall for ages #so im just having to make the appropriate confirmation noises #like the only reason i picked up was bc i was worried he was hurt or needed a designated driver or somethin #but nooooo #its bad dirty talk time #adding him to the time out pile #also #im putting a ban on the use of the word shaft in a sexy context #im going to gnaw this mans shaft off if He Doesn't Stop Mentioning it #i have a dr appointment early tomorrow i need to go to Bed #Djjdjdjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjs ive been typing these tags for like #5 minutes and ive said bye at least 3 times in that span #Why Wont He Hang Upppooo #im not hanging up bc hes usually fun and i dont Want to burn this bridge #but im About Too.

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monsterenergysimp · 3 years

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Permanence

corpse husband x fem!reader

summary: you meet corpse on a stream and you’re surprised when he reaches out to you

warnings: cursing, mentions of tattooing

word count: 1.9k

notes: This is proof read but could have missed some stuff. This is my first corpse fic and my first time writing fanfic since I posted that super cringey book on wattpad when I was like 12 or something. I’d appreciate feed back so please reach out to me :)

main blog @itsmysleepover

read part 2 here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were cleaning up your station so you can get home and stream. You loved your day job as a tattoo artist but you also really enjoyed streaming. It started as a way to promote yourself as an artist and the shop you worked at but it eventually became a really fun way to destress at the end of the week (or day if you were really itching to stream). “Hey Y/N was that your last client?” your boss, KC, asked as she walked to the front of the shop and put new flash drawings on the walls.

“Yes ma’am!” You said back excitedly. You finished cleaning your station and tossed your black gloves in the trash. “And you can’t trick me into staying and taking walk-ins,” you joked with her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into her office “It was one time,” she said as you slid on your jacket. As you walked out your phone buzzed in your pocket and you checked to see who had texted you. It was a message from Sean asking if you were free to play Among Us with him and some other streamers. You replied that you were on your way home right now and totally down. You were excited to see who was playing this time around since their Among Us streams are super entertaining and have gotten really popular.

On your way back you tweeted and posted to your Instagram story that you’d be streaming soon and set up all your stuff once you made it home. After a few minutes, you had a couple of thousand people watching. You entered the discord chat and Sean spoke up. “Everyone this is Y/N she’s sensitive so be gentle.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you guys and I’m not gentle, I'm ruthless,” You say into your mic and notice the chat calling you a liar. Everyone was in the lobby waiting for the game to start. “You sound way too sweet to be ruthless,” Corpse said. The countdown started and you were imposter with Charlie.

“This should be fun,” you told the stream. Yout tried playing strategically but after such a long shift your brain was mush. You saw Poki in nav and killed her then vented into shields. Not long after the body was reported and you were sure you were going to get voted out or at least sussed.

“Where was the body?” Felix asked. “Nav and I didn’t see anyone near there so whoever is imposter must have vented,” Corpse responded. Felix spoke up again. “I think I saw Y/N walk that way and I haven’t seen her since.”

Shit, shit, shit shit. “I’m in shield right now so-” you said trying to defend yourself but Charlie spoke up. “I was doing tasks with her earlier and I saw her walk into shields so she’s safe but I’m still not sure about Rae.” Everyone discussed a bit more and some people, including Corpse, voted for you but Rae got the majority vote and was ejected. You released your breath and kept playing being extra careful.

“Okay, guys that was super close. Corpse knows and is out to get me,” you said to the chat. You were eventually voted off but one round later victory was written across your screen with your ghost and Charlie’s avatar. “Good game guys,” Corpse said.

“I told you guys I was ruthless!”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat at your station doing nothing because a client had canceled a four-hour session. You were listening to music and sketching some stuff but you were bored out of your mind and you didn’t want to leave in case you got a walk-in. The music got quiet as you received a twitter notification saying someone had messaged you. You reached for your phone and saw you had gotten a dm from Corpse.

C: hey :)

You didn’t know what to respond. You were mostly confused as to why he decided to message you out of the blue. Did he want something? But what would he want?

Y: Hii! This is sudden

C: was i bothering you?

shit sorry!

Y: Youre fine I wasn’t doing anything rn

C: how has your day been

i dont usually do stuff like this

Y: Im glad you did im doing better now I was so bored

C: what were you doing that was so terrible

Y: NOTHING! thats the problem :(

C: im sure youll find something to do

You stared at his message. Unsure what to respond.

Y: Im gonna give myself a tattoo

C: what?

NO!

You tossed the needles you used for your tattoo into the sharps box. “Oh my god you didn’t,” KC said. She noticed the wrap on your calve from the tattoo you just gave yourself out of boredom. “It’s not my fault I didn’t have anything else to do!” You said trying to defend yourself. She sighed and just shook her head. “Just go home business is slow today.” It was raining so the shop probably wasn’t going to get a walk-in anyway and you didn’t have any more clients for the day. It was only 2 pm but you drove home and after making lunch for yourself decided to stream. You weren’t expecting too many people so it was bound to be super chill. Your leg felt sore reminding you of the tattoo. You snapped a quick pic of the fresh jack-o-lantern on the side of your calve and messaged it to Corpse.

Y: [image] it came out nice!

C: thats super cool actually

i was concerned why you would just give yourself a tattoo but i found your instagram and youre super talented

Y: Thank you!

For some reason, it felt strange to just have that be the end of your response.

Y: Im about to start streaming if you wanted to watch

[link]

C: ill be watching ;)

What’s that supposed to mean?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You sat in your apartment watching tv, hand lost in a bag of Doritos, and scrolling through twitter. You had stopped paying attention to the anime playing on the screen since you’ve watched it a hundred times and knew you wouldn’t miss anything. It was Saturday and you usually take those days off. Take the time to do chores or meet up with some friends but today you felt like not doing any of those things. As you continue your endless scroll (not helping the twitter addiction you told yourself you’d try to get a handle on) you got a message from Corpse.

C: wanna talk?

You looked down at the message unsure of how to answer. It was a simple yes or no and the obvious answer was yes. You and Corpse had started talking more regularly. You still didn’t have each other’s phone numbers but it was fine. Your conversations weren’t too big-- just you sending him memes, tiktoks, and telling him how much you liked the songs he would drop. Or him complimenting a tattoo you did. Sometimes he’d message you during streams telling you funny stuff his fans would say in the chat and you’d do the same. You learned a bit about each other but nothing too deep or serious. Like how you two lived a few cities away and you both really liked Donnie Darko. When Sean first invited you to that game out of everyone else there you were most excited to meet Corpse. He’s just so sweet and funny. Of course, you’d love to talk to him but you were also itching to talk to him and the last thing you’d ever want to do was make him uncomfortable.

Y: Yeah id love to talk

Here goes nothing.

Y: Wanna facetime or something?

No pressure or anything it could even be a regular call

I think facetime is just my default lol

You sent those last two messages quickly after you had sent the first. You wished you could know what he was thinking. It was killing you to think you had turned him off from talking to you completely. You put your phone down on the couch and went to wash your hand of Dorito dust. When you got back from the kitchen you turned off the tv and tossed yourself onto the couch.

Still no message.

Why am I so fucking stupid?

Just as you were standing up to stretch from sitting on the couch all day your phone buzzed. You reached for it fast and looked to see that it was him. You became super excited still not even knowing what the message said. It could have told you to never talk to him again for all you knew.

C: sure lets facetime

xxx-xxx-xxxx

You had his phone number. You added him to your small but growing contact list and called. You sat on your couch waiting for a response when he finally picked up the screen was black. It didn’t upset you; you kind of expected it and didn’t care what he had to do to make himself more comfortable during this call.

“Hey,” he said. His voice was raspier than usual.

“Did you just wake up?” You asked and looked at the time. It was about a little past noon and you had only eaten Doritos all day. Shit, you should probably make a decent meal.

“Not that long ago but yeah,” he responded and giggled. That giggle.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but Doritos all day while rewatching Ouran High School Host Club, so you’re welcome to join me as I make myself something to eat.”

“Sounds like fun; what are we eating?”

“I don’t know yet,” You said as you stood up and made your way to the kitchen. You opened the pantry and looked. You noticed a can of diced tomatoes and reached for it then checked the expiration date. It was still good. On your counter were some onions and garlic. “How about some tomato soup?”

“Sounds delicious.” you smiled at Corpse and your phone screen not knowing if he was also looking at his screen or not. “You’re really pretty-- you know that?”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to--”

“I’ve already told you what an incredible artist you are so many times I bet you’re tired of hearing it, but you already know what a talented artist you are.”

“That is very kind of you Corpse,” you said to him bashfully as you chopped the onion and opened the can of tomatoes. “But once again you don’t have to reach so far to compliment me.”

“I’m not reaching you are talented and beautiful and--”

“I thought I was pretty.” You could hear him chuckle with a smile on his face. “You’re both,” he said. You could feel your face getting warm from blushing.

“Fuck you you’re making me blush. My face is all hot and stuff.”

He laughed at how flustered you got. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you just put some olive oil in a pot and tossed in your onions. It became silent but it was a comfortable silence. You turned the stove on and watched the flame for a few seconds. “If it was dark we could pretend we were together and having a bonfire or something,” you said to the phone as you turned the camera to show him the flame (still not 100 percent sure if he was looking at you or not).

“I’ll put it on the list of things to do when you visit me someday.”

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband imagines #corpse husband x y/n #youtubers #caffeinated ramblings

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wannabecoyote · 4 years

Text

Sasha woke up, she didn’t remember falling asleep but that’s just every Tuesday for her. Her whole body is sore and lethargic, also a normal Tuesday. What isn’t a normal Tuesday however is WAKING UP IN AN UNFAMILIAR CELL. She very much does not appreciate being imprisoned for god knows whatever reason or at all really. She sat up and tried to practice the breathing exercise she and her friends found.

Breathe in for four seconds. Hold for seven. Breathe out for eight.

Rinse and repeat.

She swallowed once she feels calm enough and looked around the room. She’s very surprised that she isn’t descending into yet another panic attack but she ain’t gonna question her good luck now.

She felt for her phone and breathed out a sigh of relief when she found it is still in her pocket. With trembling hands she typed a message to her friend.

‘dude I could be dying rn. im pretty sure I was kidnapped. no cap. idk where I am. keep my witch stuff.’

She took a picture of the cell and sent it to Dylan.

She pocketed her phone with another inhale to fortify herself. She looked around and found her cell sealed with a laser beam thing. Like a sheet of light keeping her in. Like some real Steven Universe shit.

She walked up to it and tried to touch it. She pulled her hand back with a curse when she was zapped unceremoniously by the rude laser. She started flicking her hand trying and failing to shake the pain off.

She put her singed finger in her mouth and looked around for something that could help her. To the opposite of the laser gate was her cot, a raised platform that comes up to her thighs and padded with cushion. To the right hand side was a sink with running water and a glass near it. She assumed that was for her to drink. All she found that are detachable from their posts are pillows, the glass, and blankets. She walked over and snatched the pillow from the cot to test it against the laser.

She held the pillow forward and slowly touched the other side to the laser. She was startled from this when a something moved in the hallway. She threw the pillow away and focused on the figure that slithering closer to her cell by the minute.

She pulled a face of disgust when a weird hybrid of gorgons, aliens from the movie Aliens, and freaking predators came in front of her. It was very disconcerting.

“Human, you are before your queen, bow.” The talking monstrosity said.

The audacity!

“I’m sorry but you ain’t my queen. My queen is Sappho and you don’t look anything like her,” she said and the guards beside the queen gasped.

The queen’s face distorted in anger. Sasha’s face showed her disgust at how uglier the queen became.

“Eugh, dude seriously ngl you look like someone punched your mother’s stomach when she was carrying you and then when she gave birth to you she somehow dropped you multiple times because she always gets surprised by how ugly you are,” she said with a shrug. If she was gonna die, she’s gonna make the most of what she has right now.

The guy on the left let out a noise that sounded a lot like a laugh. Sasha smiled proudly and gave the alien a wink. It feels good to know someone appreciates your humor. They stepped back a bit, spooked. The queen’s face becomes more distorted but this time she was looking at the alien that laughed.

“You find this amusing? You are nothing but dust in the cosmos. You are nothing. Remember your place [species slur]!” she shouted at them. The poor guy bowed their head and uttered a silent acquiescence.

“HEY DON’T YOU FUCKING SAY THAT TO THEM YOU NIGHTMARE IN ELMS STREET LOOKING ASS!” Sasha shouted. NOBODY, FUCKING NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE ALIEN GUY. HE IS B A B Y.

Both aliens looked at her, one with a look of horrified admiration, and the other with pure contempt in her eyes. Nine of them. Creepy. Why’s it gotta be a fucking odd? Why fucking nine? It’s fucking gross. Eugh.

She was startled out of her disgust for the nine eyes by the sound of someone pressing in the code for her cell…presumably. The laser wall disappeared and the queen loomed ominously over her. She bolted as soon as she can. Narrowly dodging the disgusting snake alien thing that tried to strike her. She took the alien’s appendage and ran. Dragging them along with her to wherever the fuck.

“Why are you doing this human? I am not an ideal hostage, no one cares about me,” the alien said. Sasha’s heart broke with the way that they said it. As if it was something factual. No one should be made to feel like that. If she was gonna escape she’s gonna take this bean with her.

“You are not a hostage,” she said. Behind them the queen is screaming profanities at everyone and the soldiers are gaining on them. “You’re a friend, I can see that you hate it here. You’re as much of a prisoner as I am. We’re gonna get out of here, yeah?” she looked back and her alien friend nodded with a look of disbelief on their face.

“Why?”

“Because they don’t treat you right.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with you, besides, I will slow you down.”

“Of course it does! I made you laugh, you’re my friend now.”

“What exactly is a friend? You’ve mentioned it twice now.”

“You don’t know what friends are?!”

“I do not. I am sorry,”

“No! Don’t be! I wasn’t mad at you or anything.” She sighed, this is difficult. “A friend is someone that you like, someone you spend your time with. Someone that you can rely on. Someone who can rely on you.”

“…and I am your friend? How?”

“Like I said, you laughed at my joke.”

“That sounds superficial, especially compared to what you mentioned friendship entailed.”

“It doesn’t have to be really deep, does it? I like you because I do. Do you not want to be my friend?”

“It is not that I do not, it is that I do not understand why you would want to be mine.”

“I just do okay? You’re a great dude.”

She looked at the soldiers chasing after them.

“How many?” she asked the confused alien. “Few. There aren’t much.” She nodded and asked where they are as they ran for their lives. They yelled out directions and she followed as best as she could.

She ran faster than she ever has in her life. Adrenaline pumped through her veins. Her alien friend tried but they couldn’t keep up with her. They lagged behind but she wouldn’t leave them. She couldn’t.

They reminded her too much of herself.

So she stood. In front of him. Shielding him from the soldiers that had caught up with them. Her friend told her to run. To leave them. To save herself. She didn’t.

The first soldier engaged her and she punched him. Remembering all those self-defense lessons from tiktok. They were bipedal and has almost the same structure as humans so she assumed they have similar anatomy. Her assumption proved true when the alien she punched in the throat gasped and flailed for air. Her confidence renewed she jumped to the next alien. She tore through them, using everything she has on her arsenal. Her hands, fingers, nails, feet, her teeth, and everything else that she has.

They were fragile. They were easy to destroy. She has cuts all over her body but she cannot feel pain right now. Her friend is looking around at the carnage she has brought with fear in their eyes. All the fight left her body when they looked at her with fear. She moved forward to reassure them that everything was going to be okay but the queen arrived.

She was holding a gun of a sort and she was pointing it at Sasha. She ran straight for the queen, her teeth barred, screaming at the top of her lungs.

The queen expecting her to run was thrown off guard when she slammed against her. Sasha rained punches on her captor. Blindly smashing and hitting. The sound of pounding of flesh and bones crunching filled the air. She did not stop until two arms wrapped around her and restrained her.

“…okay, it’s gonna be okay. It’s alright, you’re alright. You’re safe.” It was a familiar voice. She didn’t know whose voice. She can feel the strength leaving her body. She hasn’t slept in two days.

“Alien… friend… safe..?” she asked, slowly losing her consciousness.

“Yes, your alien fiend is safe.” He sounds like he’s smiling.

#humans are space orcs #humans are weird #humans are space australians #humans are insane #humans are deathworlders #humans are adorable #earth is a deathworld #earth is space australia #aliens #alien #alien friend #friendship #violence kinda #gen Z #i dont fucking know aymore

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headcanonreggie · 3 years

Text

reggie is basically serotonin in human form

im kinda sad rn so here’s a really self indulgent piece. i just really want reggie peters to take care of me. everyone is alive and carrie and nick are friends with everyone. also flynn uses he/him pronouns because flynn is cool like that.

y/n made their way into julie’s garage, clearly late for practice. they greeted their friends and slumped down on the couch next to flynn. usually they’d pull out their laptop and work on some homework while julie and the phantoms were practicing, but that just wasn’t something they wanted to be doing right now.

“y/n, are you okay?” julie asked her friend, concerned.

“yeah i’m fine, i just didn’t sleep a lot last night. don’t worry about me though, just keep on playing.” this wasn’t entirely the truth. y/n was swamped with homework, they didn’t know what they wanted to do with their future, and their parents were constantly getting on at them to stop spending so much time in their room. they just didn’t know where they were in life. but the others didn’t have to know all this.

flynn scooted over and wrapped his arm around y/n. hugs from flynn were always comforting. y/n met julie and flynn in the 7th grade, when they were a new student at loz feliz middle school. the three of them always knew when one needed comfort, and never coaxed them to talk. they appreciated this about each other.

julie and the phantoms played through their two hour practice. y/n kept catching worried glances from reggie, their boyfriend. he did his best to cheer them up, winking, singing louder, even getting everyone to play an old sunset curve song that y/n the especially likes. all this earned him was small, tired smiles.

the band wrapped up their practice, and reggie came to sit down next to y/n, with his arm round them. alex announced that he had a date with willie. a new museum just opened and willie wanted to cause trouble in it, and alex wanted to talk him out of that trouble.

“flynn, luke and i are gonna go catch the new pixar movie with carrie and nick, you two are welcome to come if you want?” julie asked y/n and reggie. reggie turned to look at y/n, letting them decide.

“sorry julie, i’m not really feeling up to going anywhere right now. i enjoyed practice though.” julie came over to give y/n a hug, because she knew they needed it.

“that’s okay, if you guys want to you can just stay in here, i’ll go tell my dad you’re still in here.” julie said as she grabbed flynn’s hand and carted luke out of the studio. flynn and luke shouted their goodbyes to their friends.

“do you wanna go cuddle in the attic? i know you like it up there.” reggie asked softly.

the attic in the garage used to be full of old junk, but julie, flynn and y/n cleaned it out that summer and turned it out into a cosy little space to hang out. they had ray install a soft carpet and there was an unthinkable amount of blankets and pillows. the garage was the usual hangout spot for their large friend group, so the attic also housed their huge stash of snacks. there was a couple strings of fairy lights, and pictures of the friends littering the walls.

“yeah reg, i’d really love to do that right now.” reggie stood from his spot on the couch and offered his hand to help y/n up. he let them climb the ladder first and followed suit.

reggie and y/n got to work making a nest out of the blankets and pillows. he leaned over and caught y/n’s face in his hands. that was another thing they liked, having their face held between his hands.

“you know i love you, right?” reggie asked.

“of course i do. i love you too.” y/n turned her head to kiss reggies hand.

“whatever you’re going through right now, we don’t have to talk about it unless you want to. but also don’t bottle it up, please.” he told them with a soft smile. “come on, let’s cuddle now.”

they lay down in they’re little bed and reggie holds y/n close.

“can you sing to me? that song you wrote for me that you haven’t showed the band yet?” y/n asked. reggie had written them a song a couple weeks ago, and they had the lyrics in the notes in their phone so they could see them whenever they wanted.

reggie sang the song the whole way through and meant every word. he knew how much the song meant to y/n and would record it for them one day, with the band or by himself.

he finishes the song and y/n snuggles into the crook of his neck. he places a kiss on their forehead and runs his fingers through their hair.

they fall asleep like that, and the next thing they know they’re being woken up by willie and luke yelling about the pizza they just bought for dinner.

y/n and reggie make their way down to join julie, alex, luke, flynn, willie, carrie and nick. they’d all met up after their activities and decided they wanted pizza, and bought some for y/n and reggie too.

julie and flynn cuddled into one side of the couch with willie and alex on the opposite end. luke, carrie and nick sat together with their backs to the couch, which resulted in luke’s shoulder being used as flynn’s footstool. reggie sat in the armchair and pulled y/n back by their waist to sit on his lap.

the last few hours were exactly what y/n needed. they were here with their best friends and their boyfriend, and they knew that this is where they should be in life.

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serowotonin · 3 years

Text

𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐞 | k.k.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ a serowotonin christmas special ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

✲︎— you and kenma have had feelings for each other for far too long without doing anything about it. kuroo, with the help of some mistletoe, finally decides to step in and hurry things along...

⊰ pairing ⊱ kozume kenma x gn!reader

⊰ genre ⊱ fluff, crack(?)

⊰ word count ⊱ 1.2k

⊰ type ⊱ hcs + scenario

⊰ tags & warnings ⊱ pining, mistletoe, matchmaker!kuroo, unedited, no caps:D

author’s note. its almost 3AM. i still don’t feel sleepy but my bren ded

you’ve had a crush on kenma for the longest time

and, unbeknownst to you, so has he

ofc you two never seemed to realize this cuz… thats just the way you were??

kuroo knew tho,, bout kenma’s crush and had an inkling that you may like him back

he also almost “accidentally” let it slip a few times in front you

kenma always did smth to either shut him up or divert your attention elsewhere so you wouldn’t hear what kuroo was saying

poor kuroo he just wants to be that helpful senpai and see his two cute kohais get together

after a few too many “slip-ups” around you though, kenma made kuroo swear not to breathe a word of his crush to you

and kuroo reluctantly obliged,,,, but this boi still had a few things up his sleeve 😼😼

christmas time came and, as usual, everyone was abuzz with holiday fever and stress for the upcoming exams:,(

now during exam time, kuroo would often invite kenma to his house to study (even tho they’re in different grades) and this year was no different

except,,,,,, for some reason that some reason being kuroo you were also there??

kuroo and kenma were just sitting there talking about you when, coincidentally, the bell rang and they opened the door to you

“ah glad you could make it y/n ~” kuroo said in a playful tone upon your entrance

kenma knew he was up to something and few moments later, he was proven right

“actually now that you’re here, i got an errand i need to run. you two enjoy studying i’ll be back real quick;3”

you & kenma: “wAIT WHAT?!??” *internally panics at the thought of being alone with each other*

you: “sooo...👉👈”

kenma: “....👉👈”

let’s just say the two of you actually managed to do some a lot of studying cuz you two felt too shy to do anything else

when kuroo came back, he couldn’t say he wasn’t surprised. he knew kenna would’ve been too shy to initiate anything but he figured you might’ve at least had the confidence to say smth

but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess you two were more similar than he thought

that just brought him to phase 2 of his grand plan to get you two together

which was to be carried out at the christmas party after exams...

exams were finally over and you felt like a weight had been lifted off your heart. of course, even though the weight of exams were lifted, the weight of… other things, still anchored your heart. as you combed a hand through your hair, you tried your best to ignore those anchors. they weren’t something you were brave enough to do anything about anyway.

one last look in the mirror and you deemed yourself good enough to leave the house. you weren’t wearing anything fancy or special for the night’s event; just a simple holiday sweater and classic blue jeans. you grabbed your things and headed out, texting your friends telling them that you’ll meet them at the station in a few minutes.

seconds later, you felt your phone vibrate and pulled it out.

kenma: y/n, are you going to the christmas party?

you: yep, im on my way to the station rn actually.

kenma: oh ok.

you wondered what he wanted, your brain already coming up with tons of possibilities. you quickly shook them out of your head and texted him back.

you: how bout you? are you coming too??

there was a slight delay in his reply and you had to shut your phone to navigate through the small crowd in front of the station. your friends spotted you first and quickly made their way to you. you all boarded the train and found yourselves a few seats towards the back to sit on. checking your phone for the time, you saw Kenma texted back.

kenma: yeah i have no choice. kuro’s making me go TT

you: lol poor you. im sure it’ll be fine tho

kenma: mmm he’s probably going to ditch me once we get there

you: i’ll stay with you if he ditches you then hahahha

he didn’t reply for a few seconds and internally you were lowkey panicking. as the train came to a halt, your phone lit up again with a message.

kenma: i’ll be glad if you did (:

you started grinning to yourself but before you could type a reply, the train doors opened and you had to pocket your phone to navigate through the crowd leaving and entering the cabin.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . ⊹ . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

the gym was brightly-lit with streamers of all colors, sizes, and fluffiness adorning the walls. a standard-sized christmas tree stood in one corner with a large number of what you presumed to be placebo presents arranged neatly around it.

your eyes scanned the groups of students until finally landing on a lone boy with hair that seemed to shimmer under the christmas lights. to most others, he seemed quiet and reserved. he wasn’t easily approachable, to everyone else at least.

you walked over and easily struck a conversation. to you, kenma wasn’t someone someone hard to approach or talk to. he was kenma afterall. what was hard, however, was trying to hide your blush every time he smiled at you, trying to keep a neutral face whenever he said your name, and most importantly, making sure your crush on him was not in any way obvious to him.

oblivious to you, he was trying hard to do just the same. and oblivious to the both of you, kuroo had already completed preparations for ‘phase 2 of getting kenma and y/n together’.

dont give the man too much credit, “preparations” is just a fancy way of saying he found some mistletoe

lucky for kuroo, you two were exactly where he wanted you to be —standing face to face in a quiet corner of the beautifully decorated gym.

like a large cat sneaking up on it’s prey, kuroo silently made his way towards the two of you.

“hEY ! y/n, kenma,” he said nodding to each of you respectively. “enjoying the party?”

before either of you could answer, kuroo continued talking.

“oH would you look at that.. it seems you two have been caught under some mistletoe~”

he waved his hand holding the mistletoe just above your heads as the both of you started blushing furiously.

“cmon, you two know what you have to do~ :3”

you couldn’t think straight. one moment everything was fine with you and kenma, and the next, some big bloke pops up out of nowhere ruining your peace of mind.

nervously, you glanced at kenma. he was staring at the ground with visibly red cheeks. kuroo kept poking him while he attempted to swat kuroo away. of course that didn't work, but it did make you swoon a bit because damn if kenma wasnt really cute right now…

taking a deep breath, you thought to yourself ‘why the heck not?’. before you had the chance to properly think, you took two steps forward and gave kenma a quick peck on the cheek.

“oh come on y/n,,, you can do better than that~” kuroo teased.

not even attempting to hide your blush or embarrassment anymore, you looked at kenma and saw he, too, was as red as his volleyball uniform. what struck most was the way he looked back at you. his eyes seemed to mirror yours perfectly. both searching the others for something to just push you off the edge and admit to each other how you felt.

it seems you two found it as you both leaned in for another kiss, a proper one.

— ✲︎

author’s note btw remember how kuroo had an “errand he needed to run”. yes that errand was coming to give yours truly some cuddles;3 ditch exam review to sleep-n-cuddle bitch ψ( ` ∇ ´ )ψ

#kenma x reader #hq #hq imagines #haikyuu #kozume kenma x reader #haikyuu imagines #hq headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #hq kenma #kozume kenma #kozume x reader #kenma fluff #kenma imagine #kenma headcanons #haikyuu kozume #haikyuu!!#www.pink-ink.com/writing #/hcs #/fic

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hatsukeii · 4 years

Note

One where y/n has been obviously in love with Tsuki since they were kids and not afraid to show it, but he’s always been lowkey mean to her and thinks she’s annoying and then finally years later she decides he’s not a nice guy and let’s him know she’s fine with all that crap and then he realizes he’s falling for her and does something really sweet for her and they fall in love? 😭😭🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ty in advance. Sorry if this is too long or specific, if it is, feel free to ignore

I genuinely hope you didn’t think I would actually ignore this<33

IM SORRY IM A MASTER PROCRASTINATOR ILY ALL AND YOU ALL DESERVE AN APOLOGY FROM ME

Dear diary//Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k+

Warnings: Cursing

Genre: Angst??? I guess???

Summary: He’s an ass, but you still love him to bits, and it’s killing you.

July 16, 2008

Dear Diary,

I got to play with Tsukki again! He had his dino with him, it was super cute! He told me his front teeth came off last night, and there’s a big hole in his teeth, but it’s okay, because he said it will grow back. I tried to hold his hand while going down the twin slides but he said it was sweaty, so next time I’ll wear gloves!

You flip through the hot pink diary, cringing at your young infatuation. Your diary entries were cringey as fuck, but they always rekindle something within you whenever you read them. You can’t even remember when you stopped writing in the book. Was it when you turned 10? Maybe 12? You don’t have a single clue.

April 30, 2011

Dear Diary,

Tsukki refused to marry me in the playground at break:(( I’ve known him for so long though, aren’t we supposed to get married? I just wanna hold his hand and hug him and give him a biiiiig kiss<33

Chuckling at the memory, you recalled the event from that entry clearly. You were seven years old only, still an immature kid. You still thought that getting married in a middle school playground was a huge milestone in life, almost as crucial as a legal marriage.

May 29, 2016

Dear Diary,

Love how Tsukki didn’t even remember my birthday:,) Must be nice getting made fun of. Half the students in my class felt my second hand embarrassment from when he completely forgot about it. God, why am I even in love with this asshole? I’m gonna have to go to school tomorrow and deal with all my classmates making fun of me for being hopeless. Brb, currently digging a hole for myself:)

Frowning at the memory, you think back to when you were twelve. He was an asshole then, still is an asshole to this day. And yet not an ounce of your unconditional love and support for him has faded. Grabbing a tissue, you wipe the remaining tears from your eyes, ignoring the dried tear stains on your cheek. Your hand slams onto the bedside table, lazily feeling for your phone. Tilting it towards your face, you sigh at the empty lock screen, accepting defeat. Flicking through the rest of the book, you are welcomed by pages and pages of white. “So that’s when I gave up on this diary...” you mutter to yourself as you lift yourself up from your bed. Heading towards your desk, you absentmindedly grab yourself a pen, notebook in hand. Slamming the diary down, you open it up to the next entry page after your last one, gently placing the tip of your pen on the first line. You grab your hair out of frustration, the ink bleeding into the thin paper. “What to do, what to do...?” You mumble, starting to form sentences in your notebook.

July 17, 2020

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while hasn’t it? Holy shit, all my entries were about Tsukki weren’t they? Jesus, of course they were. At least I was able to get it off my chest this afternoon. Telling him that I’ve been in love with him for years, that was fucking terrifying. Telling him that although I know he’s an ass, an animatronic dick complete with ballsack, that won’t stop me from falling harder, it was gut wrenching, but also relieving to a certain degree. I’m still waiting for some form of response, although I’m not sure I’m gonna get one anytime soon. I can’t decide whether telling him was the dumbest or bravest decision I’ve made. Maybe it was both. Just wait until I look back on this entry like a decade later and still cry about it lmao. Tbh he’s a genuinely nice person at heart. I know that all too well. He may be an ass most the time, and he may think I’m annoying, but despite how hard he tries to push me away, I’ll never abandon him. Jesus Christ, I sound like a yandere here, but it’s not that. It’s that I care for him a lot. Maybe even a bit too much. It’s ridiculous how absolute and utter shit a crush can make you feel.

Throwing the pen down, you flop back onto your bed, huffing into the thick blankets. You stay silent, not sure of what to think of the situation. “I’ll just deal with it all tomorrow, I’m tired of this shit.”

On the other side of the incident, Tsukishima is currently going through a mental crisis.

The blond sits at his desk, eyes unwavering, but focusing on nothing. It feels as if he hasn’t blinked in what seemed to be hours. Just hours of staring at his wall that led to nothing. Your confession plays in his head nonstop, like a broken record that refused to run out of battery.

“The thing is I like you. I’m pretty sure I always have. And I know that you’re such an asshole and all that, you won’t treat me as well as people would expect, but it’s fine. I’m fine with all that. All the dumb, stupid, careless insults you’ll throw at me, the side eyes and sneers, telling me to shut up and go away, I’m fine with it. I know you’re a good person, and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Well shit what the fuck do you want me to say?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

Maybe he should have let you down slowly.

But as he stares at his wall, the photos of the two of you framed and balanced on his floating shelves, he starts to reconsider his feelings.

The way your expression faltered then as you hastily took your bag and rushed away without a single word, the way you avoided him in the halls, the way you stopped talking to him throughout the day, it drove him crazy. He couldn’t handle the realisation that he hurt you so incredibly badly, so now all he can do is stare at his empty, blank wall. Did he know why he felt that way? No. He didn’t and still doesn’t. He’s Tsukishima fucking Kei, the emotionless, provoking, unlikeable king, yet a mere girl is somehow able to mess with his mind so badly, that all he can do is wallow in regret and confusion? What is this weird feeling? His throat itches, his heart is beating like crazy, sweat starting to gather around his temples. He clamps his two hands together, slamming his forehead onto them and squeezing his eyes shut.

How could I have been so dense?

How was he unable to see that you were absolutely in love with him? Even with the bento boxes, birthday gifts, constant compliments, he still only ever thought you liked him as a friend. However he never did. He likes you more than that. Way more. Yes, he thought, and still thinks you can be annoying at times, especially when you nag at him about not eating enough or being rude, but it was undeniable that there was something else he felt. But his stupid ass shitty ego would never let him admit it. And now that you finally confessed, he freaked out and fucked up. Even then, he didn’t think it would affect him to this extent.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you (Y/N).”

He says that over and over again, desperate to cloud out the disagreeing thoughts in his head that scream otherwise.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

The guilt didn’t go away.

In fact, now that he’s said all that, he feels even worse. Oh how much he wants to find you right this second, wrap you in his arms, tell you how incredibly sorry he is, but he can’t. He doesn’t deserve to do that. His heart is begging for him to just get out of the house and run to yours as fast as he could, but his body won’t move. He wants to cry. Scream. Shout. Throw something. Shatter something. But most of all, he wants to get another chance.

Picking up his phone, he hesitates, before typing in your contact, the cleared out, empty chatroom showing up on his screen. Going as fast as his fingers could, he typed out the one sentence he’s been dying to let out.

“It was a middle school crush, but I’m still into you. I always have been.”

Is it just me, or is this bad-

Idk man it seems like all my fics are pretty much the same and I hate it😌

Tags:

@sunshines-and-tatertots @izzyphantomgamer @justachillgirl @trashcanweeb @just-another-bored-writer @poppirocks @majorfangirl37 @kaylacinderella @random-fandomlover @tiger1719 @tiredgr3mlin @itmekisuu @skyeackermans @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @shoutsukii @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @kuroo-thought-of-a-better-un @sneezefiction @bokutokoutarou @thirstyvolleyballhoe @iwaixiumi @iwaigroomi @inlwlevi

Feel free to comment or pm to be added to taglist!

I’m back to writing lmao I’m bored in two week quarantine rn

Edit: cue me realising I was half asleep and missed something in the request don’t be surprised if I repost this💀💀💀💀

Btw the hq manga just ended time to cry

💕💕💕💕

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kurohoely · 3 years

Text

more (kuroo x y/n)

here's my first random mini drabble, self-indulgent kuroo fic because i can :) twitter saw it first but reduce, reuse, recycle am i right :'D

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff if you look respectfully

wc: 866

You and Kuroo were both in your junior year in college, the point where your assignments are piling up and harder but you didn’t have any special treatment because you were in the ‘middle’. Everything needs to be done during this year before its too late after graduating.

There are bad days for sure but having them back to back two weeks straight is just inhumane. You need a break this time. You forgot to save your report after fixing it. You dropped your bubble tea right in front of the shop. Your groupmate decided to bail on the project.

You had enough. You just can’t handle this anymore. The fatigue kept building up and today it reached its breaking point. You grabbed your keys and walked to your shared apartment as fast as you could.

“Fuck it. I’m just gonna go to bed”

As soon as you arrived in your apartment, you thought Kuroo would be here, greeting you as always. But he wasn’t. Your shoulders dropped and you stashed your keys into the wooden paw bowl. You sigh, dragging your feet into the bedroom.

The bed never looked more warm as ever. A place that was so intimate, a small world that was built within the four walls with your other half. Your cheeks dampen without you realizing it.

“Ah shit”

You climbed on your side of the bed, hugging Kuroo’s pillow tightly. You cried. You law down and cried. What else can you do. You felt as if you weren’t good enough for your major and even more so feeling that you will have to retake the classes. Why was the world hate seeing you having a little control over your own life?

You grabbed your phone with the last bit of your energy and texted Kuroo.

“im tired”

Sent. The last bit depleted just as you hit send. Kuroo was struggling to understand why was his Nutrition mid term got some missed mark when he thought it was perfect? This isn't fair.

After staying back for office hours with the TA, he finally saw your text. His heart drops and cold sweats started dripping.

“Hey bub, you okay? I’m coming home rn”

No reply. He waited for a few more minutes before texting you another on the bus.

“Hey. Did you have a bad day?”

“You’re not talking about me right? I’m sorry ik ive been busy but its mid terms week so yknow how it is right”

Nothing. Not even read by you. He didn’t think much. His ride home was silent but only god knows the chaos inside his mind right now.

He was grateful at least to see your shoes on the floor. At least he knows you’re home, safe. He called out your name but didn’t heard a reply so he thought that maybe you were in the shower.

As soon as he opened the door, he could hear his world and future cracked. Near to shattering when he saw you curled up, hugging tightly onto his pillow with a wet stain on it. The view somehow convinced him that he IS the reason for the text. He drops everything and slowly climbed to the bed. Softly, pulling your body into his laps, resting your head on his chest. He hugged you tightly, firmly as if you it was the last thing he’ll ever do with you. His warmth was home but his heartbeat was thumping. Hard. You woke up as he tugged you.

“Hey bub are youー”

“Please. I’ll fix anything. Don’t leave me”

The hug tightens more.

“Hey baby? What are you talking about? You don’t have to fix anything and I’m not going to leave you. What made you to have these thoughts? Did I do something wrong?”

He shook his heads but his body was still trembling out of anxiety.

“Your text”

You grabbed your phone and saw ‘17 missed calls and 9 new messages from Kuroo bub <3'

Your eyes widen but then soften. You understood why he was acting like this.

“Hey baby, look at me”

You cupped his cheeks and gently thumbing his cheekbones. You gave your earnest smile.

“I was having the worst day. I cried my eyes out when I saw the bed and how I missed you so much for this past week. We’ve been busy with assignments and everything that we barely have time for each other. My fatigue was building up and it broke today. I’m sorry to have you hanging like that. It must be so scary right? But I’m here now bub. Okay?”

“I thought you were tired of me for not making you my priority. I was so scared that our home was going to break because of me. My own lack ofー”

You kissed his lips gently before he could even finish. Kuroo has always been the teaser in your dynamic but when things get serious, he became quiet and uses less word. Cautious because he knows words weigh more in these situations.

“Do you wanna cook dinner with me? All of the crying is making meー”

Kuroo’s stomach cuts you.

“Shut up”

You both giggled and walk into the kitchen, scavenging whatever is left. You both looked at each other.

“Let's just have takeout, how's that sound?”

Yeah, we’ll be okay

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x yn #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x you #kuroo tetsuro fluff #kuroo fluff #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsuro #haikyuu fluff #hq #hq fluff #jel.tulis

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asexualzoro · 4 years

Text

list of reasons i find Brook ridiculous

for brook’s birthday, ive decided to follow up my other two posts of this genre by dragging yet another idiot swordsman. i have everybrook open on my phone next to me. here we go

- first and foremost his most ridiculous crime is existing. as he’s already so ridiculous as a character, im going to talk only about things hes done

- i want to know, did Brook make a conscious effort to change his laugh to sound like his favorite song? how long did it take? what was the in between period like? what did his crew have to say about this? the rumbar pirates were big on playful teasing, did they let Brook live this down?

- ALTERNATIVELY: was brook’s laugh already like that? is that why bink’s sake is his favorite song? is that why it was York’s favorite-- oh we only made it two bullet points before i made myself sad

- relatedly i cannot make fun of anything Brook did in his backstory it will make me too sad. hes spared for now

- i DO want to say from a writing standpoint its so fucking ridiculous to me that he mentions twice being a convoy captain in the past and it never comes up again. oda?? why even bother to include something that cool if you weren't even going to do anything with it?? you could have said hes just always been a pirate but no. oda?? oda

- there was that bit where a bunch of people thought Brook was satan and addressed him as such (i think Satan-sama in the original, and the translation i read was like... Lord Satan or Lord Demon or something). not only did Brook never correct them, but he also ran with it and later used this case of mistaken identity as a reason to threaten to eat a man’s heart

- also both men and women were showing him their underwear in that bit. bi rights

- those satanists let Brook get kidnapped while saying they would try to summon him back. do you think they're still at it

- Brook is older than... basically every old man in the series. Garp, Whitebeard, Rayleigh... all of them. something about that is so weird to me and i cannot place why

- Brook has seen and can prove the existence of an afterlife in One Piece canon and its then never addressed again

- Brook missed so many huge events while being dead. im looking at a timeline rn and these include the obvious, like, roger’s execution and subsequent effect on in-world culture and society and whatever. but also things like the destruction of ohara (which was in his home sea), the founding of the world power known as the revolutionary army (which was about 20yrs ago), and the births of every other member of his crew. wack

- he seems to know about stuff related to the pirate king post time skip, and i wonder if thats because someone told him or he’s just playing along now. maybe he just thinks Luffy made up the term pirate king cuz it sounds cool and he wants to support his captain’s interests

- if he DID ask though, like, who did he ask? his managers? did he pull aside some fan asking for an autograph at a concert like “hey, you look like a knowledgable young lad, mind helping me out?”

- i would love to be there when someone takes the time to explain roger, the pirate king, raffle, the One Piece.... and Brook asks them “what is the One Piece?”.... and someone has to look him in the eye (...or not) and tell him “i don't know”

- Brook has technically died of fright (his soul left his body), like... at least once? it was luffy’s fault

- Brook was an urban legend on the florian triangle and i doubt he even knows that about himself

- when they're heading to fishmen island Brook gets all scared when they encounter a possible ghost ship and Usopp slaps him

- when captured by big mom he sleeps so godamn soundly and securely that he is harder to wake up than she is and this fact nearly gets a bunch of his crew killed

- Brook is the only character i can think of who has ever broken the fourth wall. he only did it once. maybe seeing the afterlife means he now knows hes in a manga. or maybe being isolated for 50 years just made his head be not screwed on right

- speaking of, there’s a bit in WCI at the wedding where Brook is decapitated. i don't know how it goes in the anime, but in the manga like... no one is shown to have decapitated him. his head just pops off. maybe he was just having fun

- also the bit where he rips the fake face off in wci. when someone calls him gross he cries

- there’s a bit in fishmen island where Brook is trying to ask Nami if he can see her panties (disgusting bastard) and he inadvertently protects her from being dehydrated by some guy they were fighting. except the panel setup reminds me a lot of / mimics ace protecting Luffy from Akainu, and it haunts me

- speaking of bits from fishmen island that haunt me, there's a page where it’s strongly implied Brook fucked a mermaid (maybe two). i will of course include the page here

- yeah. sorry.

- when Brook first meets the strawhats he invites himself inside because “it’s cold out!” but he later admits in punk hazard that he cant feel cold. he was just lying

- no one introduces himself to Brook except Luffy for the entirety of thriller bark

- half related, Franky cradles Brook in his arms / carries Brook around for like a full scene in thriller bark

- there's a link two second bit in film gold where the crew is just relaxing while they're planning for how they're going to get Zoro back and they're all shown eating burgers from pirate mcdonalds or whatever. and Brook is eating a burger and hes so messy that hes got burger on his forehead, and Franky is next to him just looking at him

- Brook also wears fake skin in that movie

- Brook has a running gag where he gets upset when things refuse to eat him and i was going to make a joke about it but im wondering if maybe hes just afraid of being left behind........ made myself sad again

- he cries when a dragon won't eat him tho

- Brook admits to reading monster hentai when talking to Sanji and Kin’emon and if i have to be burdened with knowing that so do you

- when hes trying to figure out the weakness of the zombies on thriller bark he overhears one ate a salted fish and lost its shadow and immediately assumes “oh, must have been the fish!” idiot man

- where does his sword cane go when hes not using it. it just appears. where does he store it

- there's a bit where the strawhats all use a combo attack at thriller bark and the first step is firing an electrically charged Brook in a slingshot through oars/oz. he ends up in a wall and no one ever pulls him out. i don't even think the manga shows how he got down

- enemies post time skip regularly assume Brook is dead when they manage to knock the crew out and it makes me wonder how popular of a rock star Brook actually was

- Brook goes on a mini rant to no one while they're descending to fisherman island where he wonders aloud how he sees without eyes and it makes me lose it

- this isn't Brook technically but Nekomamushi is based on a song Brook’s voice actor wrote about his cat.

- Brook literally doesn't have a brain. like i know we all know that but its so fucking funny. we make jokes about other strawhats only having one braincell or whatever but Brook straight up 100% just has a seashell where his brain is supposed to be

- why does he have rubber glove looking hands when hes haunting the castle at wano i fucking hate them

- relatedly, there’s a bit where Brook mentions he’s been, at kinemon’s interaction, sitting in a well for like... possibly days? is he okay

- honestly i love everything about Brook’s actions as a ghost in wano bc its so fucking funny but my FAVORITE fact is that Brook is in the wikipedia article about starving skeletons

im leaving you with that. appreciate ur local skeleton today

#brook #soul king brook #One Piece #my posts #ridiculous lists #zaria dont look #long post #this is like a condensed version of what its like to follow me pn twitter i think #i could probs add more but i wont

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izukult · 3 years

Note

Okok awesome! 🖤🖤 I do have a wide variety in my music taste but artists most in my rotation are definitely Tyler the creator, Doja cat (streets?? Pls on rpt 🤤) and Arctic Monkeys, (pls don’t feel restrained by these artists tho !) very much chill vibes and driving late at night if that makes sense asjfkdkka. Personality wise I’m pretty awkward and fairly antisocial, very much ->🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️😨 but once you get to know me I’m pretty loud and a little much tbh 🤭 like my laugh is genuinely TOO loud lmaooo, and I would very much appreciate it with Kageyama if that’s not too much to ask 😳👉🏼👈🏼 thank you again 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

hello my love. if i hadn’t known you, i wouldn’t have done this any kind of justice. BUT STRAP YOUR ASS IN WIFEY YOU KNOW WHAT IT BE. @chubbybunny111

you and kageyama.

oh god you and kageyama would scare the fuck out of me as a couple. have you seen those memes like boy who doesn’t talk all too much 💖 girl who loud asf? you two. LMAOOO.

definitely you two make fun of each other. on the daily. but, he also grumbles little compliments to u all nervous like. i feel like he would very much like your hair?? like,, it’s so curly,, it’s so pretty,,,, do a fella a favor and let him play with it, yeah?

i’m just imaging you in your straight clothes from high school and him in a disgusting unwashed sweaty ass volleyball uniform😻😻 IM SORRY OK ANYWAY

you two share earbuds all the time. just sittin next to each other in moderate silence with tunes playing.

he is so bad at texting LMAOOO. you’d send an ironic emoji and he’s done for? he just stares at it. blankly. void of any emotion other than confusion.

“i’m sorry did you just send ‘🤕’ after telling me you love me?”

“hey, you’re crying. why are you using 😋 right now?”

i’m sorry for making fun of him but also i’m NOT THATS SO FUNNY.

now, don’t take what i said earlier wrong, he’s not just like oh yes quiet around you (that’s not his personality people need to be better🙄), but when you two are in public he’s not like really affectionate? unless he’s jealous because he is (infact) an insecure bitch, but whenever that happens it feels forced and awkward figure that out kags.

we see the way he acts with hinata like? if he’s comfortable with you he’s going to be loud as fuck there’s no denying it. yall get told to shut up like on the daily?

shares his milk with you😁 not his food tho

LMAOFJAOFJS IM SORRY BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT MANS RELATIONSHIP WITH EATING? you ain’t getting between that babe

anyway here’s a fucking playlist for your hot ass i am literally in love with you. i really like this playlist tbh :)

1. sometimes (backwood); gigi- starting off with my favorite song at the moment. this isn’t really completely a deep meaning with the lyrics thing, because this song is pretty sad? i think it’s so vibey. it’s so good. it’s just a gentle, quiet night with the windows open and a full moon. however, like i said he’s insecure and has overthought while listening to this song.

2. breezeblocks; alt-J- mostly just a banger, indeed. you’re driving (i would not trust him behind the wheel? ever?), the lights are super pretty, he’s looking at you from the passenger seat ‘discretely’. he doesn’t want you to go, so those lyrics are accurate, but he’s also not a murderer dw😁 he couldnt

3. i wanna be yours; arctic monkeys- PHEW. OKAY. OKAY JESUS CHRSIT. no because you don’t understand yall are in LOVE? like in LOVE. he probably kisses you for the first time while this shit playing. he also, by default, blushes EVERY TIME THIS SONG COMES ON. such a lil bitch baby🙄

4. sucker; jonas brothers- stop before you say anything this song is unironically so good. i? could imagine you like? terribly dancing to this i dunno. i feel like if you got tobio in the right mood he would jam to some music w you‼️

5. EARFQUAKE; tyler, the creator- i think kageyama was like the kind of guy who mentally was constantly like “i want a gIRLFRIEND FUCK🤬🤬🤬”, but lile also once it happens? svary as fuck. have we not talked about how he does not really like himself much (thinking ab him practicing his smile rn poor baby). so yea, bad self confidence & in love with you. this song. PLUS, it’s a banger.

6. streets; doja cat- you at him lmao. do i have to say anything else?

7. ivy; frank ocean- he would put this song on a playlist for you and then not tell you about the song or the playlist and still get nervous about how youd react lmaooo. however, yknow in movies when like the guy looks at the girl and the music swells? that but with an emo volleyball player and frank ocean

8. redbone; childish gambino- very chill vibes and driving late at night energy. this song plays while yall lay on like ur couch or smth and you’re messing with the ends of his hair and he’s playing videos on his phone with one hand and like kind of awkwardly nervously trying to hold ur hand with the other and he just does the pinky thing thAT WE WERE TALKIN BOUT LMAOO

9. cocoa butter kisses; chance the rapper- i feel like if you were to smoke, this is the song you’d get high to. i don’t have much reason other than that? i can just see this playing in the background as you two exist together

10. my kind of woman; mac demarco- man, you’re really driving him mad🙄 BUT‼️ I THINK? ITS ALRIGHT WITH HIM😳. he’s absolutely whipped and he didn’t even know he had the ABILITY. i feel like you like to prove people wrong, so here’s another instance.

11. casual; doja cat- i know everyone hates getting played, but you feel like you would take a LOTTA precautions to avoid that, including the whole walls up deal. you’re super upfront about it? you’re not like secretly testing the waters, you’re like ‘if ur fucking w me gtfo of my face lol’ but clearly you wouldn’t talk to kags like that (however he’d hurriedly say he’s not a little too loud)

12. afraid; the neighbourhood- ABSOLUTE TOBIO ENERGY (also oikawa energy, i think its so cute that we are married and the mfs we choose to love r rivals). but anywho, absolute MAD tobio energy. yes he also takes out his insecurities with anger don’t actually like he’s not gonna have to work on that lmao

13. sex on fire; kings of leon- arguably one of the best songs to ever exist. he would be like ?!😳 the first time he heard it and youd probably like flick him LMAOFJAODJ this is just a good jam song for you two. he would definitely sing this song with you, don’t care don’t care

14. scary love; the neighbourhood- i’m beginning to think the neighbourhood just has kageyama energy? remind me to look into that later. either way, i’m putting extreme emphasis on this song. this song is completely how he feels. this song is IT. he watches in anticipation as he “shows you it cos it’s a good song”. please just be nice to him (while also bullying him😁)

15. when you were young; the killers- you’ve made out to this song i’m so sorry. MAYBE THATS JUST BECAUSE I THINK THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECTTTTJRJEJTI SONG. god. good fucking music. equal mix of good song and the lyrics hitting

#haikyuu x reader #bunny :d #smh my wife #haikyuu playlists #ikigaitooru playlists #kageyama #kageyama tobio #kageyama playlist #tobio playlist #kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama tobio playlist #lol #kageyama hcs #kageyama fluff

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junetuesday · 4 years

Text

sweetener - [sixteen]

Trial and Error

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader - uni AU

Word Count: ~7K

Warnings: smut, smut gone kinda wrong, alcohol/hangover mentions

A/N: some of the ~positions in this chapter kind of imply that the reader is of a similar height to tom so sorry if that bothers you! other than that pls enjoy as we all try to recover from that instagram story, hope everyone is staying safe and staying home as much as they’re able to ❣

Updates: dunno sorry i thought i had a schedule there for a minute but i lost it

Tom was very tired. So very, very tired.

Perhaps it had been a bad idea to go out last night, seeing as he was already knackered from work and lectures and training, but he and Harrison had gotten home from training and Adam said ‘we out tonight?’ and what was he supposed to say? No? To £1.50 pints? Of course not. So, now, here he was on Tuesday afternoon, not even that hungover but just tired, trying not to fall asleep in a lecture.

Apart from the fact that he’d nearly whacked his chin on the desk three times in the last ten minutes, though, his head drooping as he nodded off, he was pretty happy. He’d had a whole weekend with just you, which was nice, no interruptions or awkward interactions with housemates on the stairs, and you were now Officially Together, which was even nicer. He’d been a bit surprised when you’d brought it up on Friday night - but not in a bad way, he just hadn’t really thought about it. He wondered afterwards what he would have said if someone had asked him if you were his girlfriend, like Ruby had asked you. Yes? Probably? Maybe? No one had asked so it had never really occurred to him to put a label on your relationship, but when he thought about after he decided that if pressed he probably would have said yes.

In any case that was all cleared up now, “Facebook Official” and everything - he’d even told his mum. Well, that might be stretching the truth a little - he’d been on FaceTime to her on Sunday night and his brother Harry had come into the room and said ‘hey Tom how’s your girlfriend?’. It had been kind of hard to gauge his tone because he was shoving crisps into his mouth as he spoke, but it sounded snarky and Tom was fairly sure he had no interesting in actually hearing how you were and just wanted to tease him for having a girlfriend while simultaneously dropping him in it with their mum. Tom’s suspicions were confirmed when she looked directly into the camera with a high pitched ‘what? Who!’ and Harry promptly left the room, leaving Tom to murmur ‘um, well, uh…’ while he tried to think how best to explain your relationship. It wasn’t that he’d been actively hiding you from his family, he’d mentioned you in passing a few times to his brothers,but it just hadn’t really come up. Maybe he should have mentioned it before putting it on Facebook, but what was he supposed to do, just message the family chat like hey btw i have a girlfriend now? In the end he just said you were a friend of his housemate’s and that you’d met a couple of months ago, electing to skip over the part about how he already knew of you from work beforehand because that was quite embarrassing and not really something he wanted to share with his mother, and then he changed the subject and asked to see Tessa before making an excuse to hang up.

Familial video calls aside though, he’d had a nice weekend, and though it was only Tuesday he was already looking forward to the next one. Not just because he was tired and wanted a lie in, but this Friday was Valentine’s Day. He’d never really been bothered about it so he hadn’t even realised it was coming up, but once he did Tom wondered if your “talk” would have happened this week anyway, regardless of the Liv/Harrison situation, and not even because of the actual holiday itself, but because of the night out. Valentine’s Day at the SU had a traffic light system - wear red if you’re taken, green if you’re single, and yellow if...well, Tom wasn’t really sure what yellow was for. Maybe? Proceed with caution? Anyway, you probably would have ended up having the conversation about your relationship status before the party, because it would have been extremely awkward if you’d turned up in different colours. Now, however, you both knew you’d both be wearing red, so that was good to know - that is, if you ended up going out. You hadn’t talked about your plans yet, whether you’d go out like on a proper date, or stay in, or go out with everyone else. Tom didn’t really mind what you did, as long as he got to see you at some point, so he figured he’d speak to you about it later and see what you wanted to do.

For now though, he really needed to concentrate on this lecture. He was trying, he really was, only it was really quite boring and his eyelids were really heavy suddenly, and the lecturer’s voice sounded really far away…

aaaCHOO!

Tom’s head snapped up at the sound of the person next to him sneezing, his body jerking as he was startled back into consciousness. This was hopeless, there was no way he was going to be able to stay awake for the rest of the lecture if he didn’t do something to distract himself. The lecture content itself was clearly not interesting enough to keep him alert and awake, so he decided to see what you were up to instead, and you replied after a minute or two.

nm just back from lectures, watching a movie with liv and mads x

Oh cool what movie x

Even without knowing what movie you were watching, Tom was certain that he’d much prefer to be on your sofa watching TV, instead of sitting in this uncomfortable chair in a cold lecture hall. That was basically all you’d done all weekend, though obviously without your housemates - which was for the best, because it would have been really awkward if they’d been sitting there when the episode of Friends where they get a free adult TV channel came on and you’d asked him if he watched porn and he’d nearly choked on his tea. He’d just said ‘sometimes’ and then asked if you did before taking a big sip of his tea to try and look nonchalant (which was a mistake because it was still too hot but he wasn’t going to choke again on the same drink so he just let it burn his mouth and throat and nodded casually when you also said ‘sometimes’).

Bend it like Beckham lmao x

Arent you in a lecture rn x

Ahh a classic. Yeh i am but

Tom paused, considering how to finish that sentence. But now I’ve just remembered you talking to me about porn and it’s distracting ?? Hmm, no, probably not like that.

its really boring and im tired so i keep falling asleep 😴x

Okay, better, now stop thinking about it. He wasn’t even really sure what “it” was, just the general idea of you and porn, and porn-related activities, and things he shouldn’t be thinking about in a lecture.

Early night for you tonight x

Oh dear. That didn’t help, because now he was thinking that you were right, he probably would be in bed quite early - but would he be sleeping? Probably not, and he did not need to be thinking about what he’d be doing instead right now.

Tom checked the clock on the wall, pretending to be reading the lecture slides on the screen below it. Only twenty minutes left…

Want me to pick you up on the way home and we can go straight to bed? x

He debated putting a 😏 on the end, or maybe even a 😉, but ultimately decided against it before hitting send. You were supposed to be coming over to his later that evening anyway, but now he couldn’t really think of a reason to wait any longer than was absolutely necessary. Plus this way maybe you would actually get an early night, which wouldn’t be a bad idea considering he had to play rugby the next day.

Sounds like a plan. When do you finish x

20 mins x

He hoped you were on the same wavelength and understood that he didn’t actually plan to go to sleep at 4:30 in the afternoon (though he could use a nap, but he could do that after). He’d find out in half an hour or so, he supposed, he just had to stay awake until then.

It turned out to be a lot easier to stay awake once he had something else to think about besides what his lecturer was talking about, so soon enough Tom was texting you to say he was on his way, and then again to say he was parked on your street. He debated going to the door, but he decided that it was probably best if he didn’t just in case Liv saw him and wanted to hurt him just for being friends with Harrison.

“Hey!”

Your voice as you opened the passenger side door made Tom look up from his phone, slightly startled as he was waiting for you to text back and wasn’t expecting you to just appear out of nowhere.

“Oh- hey,” he reached over to grab his bag from the passenger seat so you could get in, tossing it into the backseat as you shoved your own bag into the footwell.

You smiled once he turned back to face you, reaching across the car to touch his cheek as he leaned over to give you a kiss hello.

“You look nice,” Tom said when you pulled back, settling back into your seat and putting on your seatbelt.

“Oh,” you looked down at your outfit, then over at Tom. “Thanks.”

It wasn’t a particularly exciting outfit, just jeans and a slouchy knitted jumper, but it was cute - or maybe that was just you, it was hard to tell. In any case it was time for Tom to stop admiring you and start driving, the drive between your houses passing quickly as you talked about your day so far.

“Oh crap,” Tom muttered under his breath as you walked up to the front door. His curtains were still closed, and he remembered then that his room was a complete mess.

You weren’t meant to be coming over until later on, so when he’d woken up late he’d just jumped in the shower in the hopes it would relieve his hangover, shoved on the cleanest clothes he could find, and ran out the door. So, instead of stepping back to let you in once he unlocked the front door, he went in ahead of you and went straight to his room to assess the damage. Besides the closed curtains, unmade bed, and wardrobe doors flung open, his open gym bag and workout clothes were on the floor, the towel he’d used after his speedy shower before heading out on top of them. In his semi-conscious state this morning he hadn’t been able to find said towel, so the one he’d used this morning was draped over the back of his desk chair. He was wearing the jeans he’d worn out last night, so at least they weren’t on the floor, but the shirt he’d worn was, as well as the pyjama bottoms he’d slept in, complete with boxers inside them, sitting very visibly right in the middle of the room. A couple of cider cans and the tub from the Pot Noodle he’d had for dinner littered his desk, and the bag he’d brought to yours on the weekend was open at the end of his bed, its contents spilling onto the floor. Fantastic.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he quickly gathered all his clothes up into a pile and shoved them into the wardrobe. “D’you want a drink or anything?”

“Nah, I’m good,” you shook your head as you took off your jacket, setting it and your bag down by the door as it swung shut behind you.

“Okay, uh…” Tom trailed off, trying to fit his bags into the wardrobe and get the doors closed before everything started tumbling out. “Wanna put something on TV?”

“Umm… I dunno, is anyone home?”

“I don’t think so?”

Operation Wardrobe was mostly successful, in that the doors didn’t completely shut but nothing was falling out, so Tom considered that a win and moved on to straightening his duvet.

“Eh,” you laughed with a shrug. “Why bother then, we’re not going to watch it are we?”

“...yeah, fair enough.”

Deciding that his bed would do as it was and the curtains should probably remain closed, Tom moved towards you, his hands finding your waist as you pulled him closer by the collar of his jacket until your lips connected in a hurried kiss.

Guess you were on the same wavelength.

“I thought you were tired,” you smirked against his lips as he guided you across the room until your back was against the wall, his body pressed to yours.

“Well,” he sighed as he wiggled out of his jacket, your hands pushing it off his shoulders and down his arms. “I was, but I’ll persevere.”

Tom reached for the hem of your jumper as your lips reconnected, his fingers brushing over your waist as he pushed it up.

“Oh right, okay,” you giggled when you separated again for him to pull your jumper off over your head. “Well done, must be hard for you.”

Well, something was hard, if not the act of staying awake. What was vexing him at present, though, was how many layers you were wearing. Your coat and jumper were gone, but you still had a vest top on, tucked into your jeans - and was that a belt? A belt?! You had boots on too, plus whatever underwear you had on - what a nightmare - well not a nightmare, obviously your underwear wasn’t a nightmare, but--

Tom’s thoughts were cut off by you grabbing his face and kissing him again, and that was enough to get him to just get on with it. Your hands shifted from his cheeks to his shoulders and down his chest as he pulled your vest free. His tongue eagerly exploring your mouth, he kissed you more firmly before he stepped away to pull his hoodie and t-shirt off over his head. You followed suit, taking your vest off and dropping it on top of your jumper, then bending down to take off your boots while Tom kicked off his trainers.

His hands on your waist guided you towards the bed once you straightened up, one darting out to stop himself falling on top of you as you landed on your back on top of his crumpled sheets. Kissing as you went, you shuffled up to the top of the bed, you on your back and Tom beside you, leaning over you. Your legs tangled together, your fingers brushed through the back of his hair as he kissed down your neck and onto your chest, his lips following the line of your bra strap. Things started getting more complicated when he passed your collarbones though, and he realised that this was not your standard bra.

A pretty teal colour, your bra had complicated looking straps going across the tops of your breasts, just above the cups. The band was deeper than normal too, a sort of mesh lace covering your ribs almost down to your waist. After briefly pausing to consider whether to follow the cup or the strap (he chose the strap) Tom continued his line of kisses onto the centre of your chest, sucking and nipping at the skin in between your breasts. Your chest rose under him as you took a deep breath in, letting it out in a contented sigh as he lifted his head to look at you.

“This is fancy,” he ran his fingers over the thin strap decorating the top of your breast. “Did you wear this to uni?”

“No,” you shook your head, your chest moving under his hand as you laughed. “Bit much for a lecture, I think.”

You watched his hand as his fingertip trailed down between your breasts and along the underwire as he chuckled.

“Yeah, maybe.”

If you didn’t wear it when you went out, did that mean you changed into it just for him?

“What do you think, though?”

“Hmm?” Tom hummed, looking up to see you gesturing to your chest.

Were you actually asking what he thought of your bra? Or maybe just your boobs in general? It was more likely that you meant the bra, but either way the answer was the same.

“Oh, yeah, uh,” his eyes returned to your bra, like he even had to think about his reply. “Very nice.”

“Thanks… you know you’ve seen this bra before, actually.”

“Oh?”

Tom felt like he should probably look at your face instead of your chest while you were talking, but then you were talking about your bra, so many it was okay if he kind of went back and forth between them.

“Yeah, you know that Snapchat I sent you?”

“Ohh right, yeah.” Now he thought about it, it was actually kind of familiar, though if he was honest he had been more focused on the fact that you had sent him a picture of yourself in your bra than on what the bra itself looked like. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” you laughed again, a cute little laugh that didn’t really match up with the way your hand on the back of his neck pulled him into a kiss.

Tom shifted more on top of you as the kiss deepened, your hand slipping into the back pocket of his jeans to keep his body close to yours as you sucked on his bottom lip. Your other hand was still playing with his hair, your fingers twisting in the curls as he moved to kiss your neck.

“You know it’s funny actually,” you tilted your head to the side as you spoke, a gentle smile in your voice. “I didn’t mean to send that to you.”

…

…….

You what?

“Hmm?” he said instead, his face still buried in your neck but his eyes wide open.

“Yeah.”

That’s not helpful, who was it meant for?

Tom pulled back slightly, shifting to the side and resting his weight on one arm while he waited for you to expand.

“I was sending it to the girls and I just clicked on you too by accident.”

“Oh right… okay.”

He wasn’t really sure why you were telling him this now, or at all really, but if that’s all you meant then that was okay, right? It wasn’t like you meant to send it to another guy. Besides, that was ages ago, things were very different now. Like, if he’d found that out a few weeks ago he probably would have been a bit more freaked out because he had taken that snap as a sign that you were into him, so finding out that it hadn’t been meant for him at all would have kind of shattered that idea. As it was though, he had more than enough evidence now that you were into him, so it didn’t really matter too much now.

“Did you not think the caption was a bit weird?” you spoke again, taking him out of his thoughts and back to the present. “Like, why would I tell you I got this in the sale?”

“Oh, uh,” This is embarrassing - though not more embarrassing than sending a semi-nude to the wrong person. “To be honest, I didn’t read the caption.”

“You know what, that’s fair enough,” you laughed. “I’m glad I sent it anyway.”

“Me too.” Wait that sounds weird- “I mean not just because, like, obviously it’s always nice to see boobs-”

“Well yeah-”

“But it kinda like, you know-”

“-got things going?”

“...yeah,” Tom nodded, a smile growing across his face because yeah, that’s exactly what it did.

You were smiling too, and then before he knew it you were kissing again, his body shifting over yours. He kissed down your chest again, moving down the bed as he went, planning to take off your jeans - and his own, because they were feeling uncomfortably tight right now.

“Oh yeah, I was gonna say-”

Fighting the urge to sigh, Tom just looked up at you from where he was kissing the soft skin just below the band of your bra.

“-you know the other day when you said you wanted to try like, spanking or whatever-”

“Oh, I, uh-”

“- I was just wondering if there, you know, wasanythingelseyouwantedtotry?”

You’d said the last part in one quick go, the words running into each other, leaving Tom blinking up at you as he played them through in his head at half speed. Once he’d worked out what you’d said though, he still didn’t know what to say, because he definitely had not expected you to say that.

“Erm… uh… I don’t know…”

“Oh. Okay, never mind-” your voice went quieter, your face turning slightly as you looked away.

“No, like, it’s just - I can’t think of anything right now, but I’m sure - can I come back to you on that?”

Your eyes met his again, and your face relaxed into a small smile as you nodded.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Cool.”

He waited a moment to see if you had anything else you wanted to say, but you just ran your fingers through his hair and said nothing, so he took that to mean he could continue. He pressed a few more kisses to your stomach before unbuckling your belt, undoing your jeans and pulling them down your legs once you lifted your hips to help him get them off. He swallowed as he tossed your jeans onto the floor, not taking his eyes off your underwear - a thong that matched your bra, barely covering any of you. That settled it, you definitely changed into different lingerie just for him - and that knowledge made it even hotter. Like, you looked amazing regardless, but knowing that it was for him? On purpose? You purposefully dressed like that for him? Yeah, that made it ten times better.

“C’mere,” he murmured, leaning down to wrap his arms around you and rolling you both over so you were on top of him.

You ground down onto him as you kissed, his hands squeezing your ass as you arched your back, rubbing yourself along his length through his jeans. He grunted as your lips left his, instead scattering kisses down his neck and chest as you moved down his body. Soon you were kneeling on the bed between his legs, sucking small purple marks onto the pale skin just above the waistband of his boxers. He was so focused on that that he didn’t even notice you undoing his jeans, until you were pulling them and his boxers down, his hard cock springing free and falling heavily against his stomach.

Tom watched as you licked along his length, sucking him into your mouth when you reached the top. He groaned when you bobbed your head, your cheeks hollowing around him. Your fingers curled around the base of his cock, following behind your lips as they slid up and down his length. You swirled your tongue around the tip as you came off him for a moment to breathe, your hand continuing to move up and down smoothly. After a moment you dipped your head again, taking him back into your mouth a little at a time. Your mouth felt so good around him, so warm and wet, and Tom was just thinking that he’d quite like to reach between your legs and feel something else warm and wet except he couldn’t really reach just now, when it occurred to him that maybe he did have an answer for you.

“Hey…” he muttered, not sure how to begin.

“Hmm?”

Tom closed his eyes for a second, his jaw tensing when you hummed around him. “I thought of something.”

You lifted your head, your hand still moving as your mouth left his cock. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, um,” What’s the best way to say this? Just say it, I suppose. “I dunno, you could like… sit on my face.”

“Hm…” you tilted your head thoughtfully. “What, while I…”

You trailed off, nodding towards your hand around his dick.

“Yeah… if you want.”

You hummed again, your hand still pumping slowly while you mulled it over. After a moment though, you stopped and nodded, sitting back on your heels.

“Yeah, okay.”

You moved aside while Tom took his jeans off, but when he lay back down you stayed kneeling beside him on the bed. He said your name questioningly, looking at you uncertainly.

“...you okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, but didn’t move. “I dunno, it’s just like - it’s very exposing, isn’t it…”

He didn’t really know what to say to that - he’d gone down on you loads of times, so he didn’t really see what the difference was, but there obviously was a difference to you.

“Oh, well,” he sat up a bit, propping himself up on his elbows. “I mean you don’t have to-”

“No, it’s not that,” you cut him off, shaking your head. “It’s just… like I want to but…”

Tom stayed quiet, just watching you have this debate with yourself because it didn’t really seem like it actually had very much to do with him at all.

“D’you mind if I leave my pants on? Like, obviously you can move them to, you know, get at stuff, but like, I dunno-” you sighed, sounding exasperated with yourself. “I know that doesn’t really make sense, I just feel like it would make it easier for me to put my butt in your face.”

He couldn’t help but snort at that - not so much at the idea but just the way you phrased it. You laughed too, only a little more nervously.

“Yeah, ‘course,” he nodded, trying to make his expression more serious. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

You nodded back, slowly at first but then more decisively.

“Yeah… yeah, okay. Sorry, I’m being weird.”

“Nah you’re fine, don’t worry.”

Tom sat up more, touching your cheek gently as he kissed you. Your lips moved tentatively with his at first, but it didn’t take long before you got back into it. Your fingers wound their way into his hair as he gripped your waist, your body shifting to climb back on top of him.

“Oh right, yeah,” you stopped suddenly, shaking your head with a chuckle. “Other way.”

Both of you laughed as you shuffled on the bed, turning around and swinging your leg over his chest. Tom held your hips as you moved back, until you were right in front of his face. He couldn’t see what you were doing, obviously, but he could feel your body over his as you leaned down, wrapping your hand around his length again. He had a brief moment of panic when he realised that when he pulled your thong aside everything was going to be upside down compared to what he was used to, but then he felt your mouth envelope his cock and he figured he’d just work it out as he went along.

Kneading your ass cheeks firmly as he spread them apart, Tom pressed a few teasing kisses to the wet patch in the centre of your underwear. Your body twitched slightly at the contact, but you didn’t stop what you were doing, so he assumed that meant he was good to continue. With one hand he pulled your thong to the side to expose your pussy, wet and spread open right in front of his face. He wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you that last bit closer, onto the flat of his tongue as he ran it through your folds. Your body still felt a bit tense, but you moaned around him when he traced circles around your clit with his tongue, so that was a good sign, right?

You both carried on like that for a little while, him eating you out while you sucked him off. Sometimes Tom found it kind of hard to concentrate on what he was doing because of what you were doing, but other times you stopped and his cock was just sort of sitting there in your hand while you moaned and pushed back onto his tongue, so he figured the same thing was happening to you so it was alright. Your thong kept trying to move back between your legs though, and he was trying his best to keep it out of the way with his face but eventually he had to pull one hand away from its very important task of squeezing your bum to move it properly.

Holding your underwear aside, he went back to massaging your clit with his tongue. Your mouth tightened around the tip of his cock as you whimpered before you lifted your head, your hand still working his length as you came off him with a wet pop. Tom grunted against your pussy as you started to grind against his face, his fingers digging into your bum as he guided your movements. He could feel the tension in your body building, your thighs tensing -- until your grip on his cock loosened, your hip movements faltered, and you pulled away from him.

“Ugh, sorry,” you groaned, climbing off him when he let his arms fall away from your body and onto the bed.

“What, what’s wrong?”

“I dunno,” you whined as you turned around, crawling back on top of him and straddling his hips. “I just feel like… like I can’t concentrate? I don’t know, I think I just prefer doing one at a time, there’s too much going on.”

“Okay,” Tom just nodded; there wasn’t really much else to say to that.

“Sorry…”

“No, don’t-” he switched quickly to shaking his head. “I know what you mean and like, if you’re not into it then what’s the point, you know?”

“Okay,” You nodded as he shrugged, but your expression remained uncertain. “Still… sorry.”

“Seriously, it’s fine - now we know.”

“Now we know,” you giggled as Tom reached for your hands where they rested on his chest, tugging on them to bring you close enough for him to kiss you.

His hands caressed your body as his tongue roamed your mouth, reaching around to undo your bra - or at least, that was his plan. When he got there, however, he felt way more clasps under his fingertips than he was expecting. He tried his best to keep kissing you as he worked his way through them, but after he’d undone three and it didn’t seem like it was any closer to coming off he had to stop, muttering a frustrated sorry against your cheek.

“Oh, right,” you pushed yourself up, reaching behind you to undo the last couple of clasps. “Yeah, it’s got like five things, sorry.”

All Tom could think was why though? Why make it so complicated? But he didn’t say that, instead he said:

“No worries. What about you?”

You were just leaning down over him again, presumably about to resume kissing him when he said it, and he instantly regretted it when you stopped and tilted your head in confusion.

“What?”

His only explanation was that your habit of starting full on conversations during sex must be rubbing off on him - why else would he interrupt you when you were on top of him with only soaked thong between you? Why didn’t he just let you carry on? It was too late now though, he’d just have to continue and hope it paid off.

“Is, uh, is there anything you wanna try?”

“Oh,” you straightened up again, sitting up straight in his lap. “Hmm.”

Tom watched you thinking, nibbling on your bottom lip contemplatively, and he was beginning to wish he’d just waited to ask you another time before you spoke.

“I’ve never done it standing up, that could be fun…”

Then he really wished he hadn’t said anything, because frankly he was way too tired for that, but you had tried his thing, so it only seemed fair that he try yours.

“Okay.”

“...okay?” you repeated, looking at him questioningly.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Wanna try?”

You seemed to consider for a moment, before shrugging with a casual ‘sure’. You crawled off him and you both got to your feet, your knickers soon finding a home on the bedroom floor.

“So like, how do we… do this?”

“Um, right,” Tom thought for a second, before placing his hands on your hips and guiding you so your back was against the wall, your arms instinctively looping around his neck. “And then I guess if you like,” - he moved one hand down to your thigh - “lift your leg?”

You did as instructed, his hand holding the back of your thigh firmly as you hitched your right leg up to his left hip.

“Erm…right...” he looked back and forth between your face and his dick, now sort of pressed between your abdomens, as you bit your lip to try and stifle the giggle that was threatening to burst out of your mouth.

Hmm.

Tom bent his knees slightly, using his free hand to try and position his cock at your entrance. You lifted up onto your tiptoes, using your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, and that did help a bit. He was able to push inside you, but beyond that he didn’t really know how to go about this. The way your bodies fit together meant that he couldn’t really thrust into you properly - he tried, but it just didn’t really work, and you were still on your tiptoes which didn’t seem sustainable, especially because you were standing on one leg and only staying upright because you were pinned between him and the wall.

“Um-”

“Hmm…”

“This isn’t working, is it?”

Looking between your bodies, your leg wrapped him and your breasts pressed to his chest, he really, really wanted to say it was working, but the truth was it just wasn’t. “Maybe if I lift you up?”

“Pardon?” you laughed, a bewildered expression on your face.

“Like,” Tom squeezed your thigh where it rested on his hip. “Do that but with your other leg.”

You just stared at him for a moment, blinking once, twice, three times before you spoke.

“No.”

“Why not?” He couldn’t help but laugh at your flat tone, the confused smile still frozen on your face.

“Because you’ll drop me.”

Tom opened his mouth to say no, he wouldn’t drop you, but in all honesty he couldn’t say that with 100% certainty. He wouldn’t mean to, obviously, but he was tired, and what if he did drop you? Surely that would be worse than… whatever this was.

“...fine,” he said instead, helping you bring your foot back to the ground before he stepped back, cock slipping out of you in the process.

“What if I bend over the bed?”

“... yeah, that could work.”

And lo, it did work. With you bent over the edge of the bed and him behind you, Tom gripped your hips as he thrust in and out of you steadily. Your hands grabbed fistfuls of the sheets, pushing back to meet his thrusts, and it wasn’t long before he could feel himself getting close, the tension inside him built up after so long spent with your mouth around him and your pussy in his face. His fingers trailed across your hip as he reached around to touch your clit, a grunt passing his lips as he felt your walls twitch and clench around him as you straightened up to give him better access.

“Fuck-”

You turned your head to kiss him, all breathless moans and probing tongues into each other's mouths. Your body twisted as you leaned into the kiss, making Tom’s cock slip out as he moved to thrust into you again.

“Fuck,” he groaned again, more out of frustration than pleasure this time. He went to reposition himself at your entrance, but stopped when you breathed his name.

“Hang on…d’you wanna just...do it normally?”

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before he nodded.

“Yeah, okay, sure. Sorry.”

You straightened up and turned around properly, your arms wrapping around his neck. “S’okay-”

“I’m just tired and-”

“Seriously, it’s fine-”

“- I’m a bit hungover and-”

“Tom.”

The way you said his name finally made him shut up, assertive but still quiet, gentle.

“You’re fine, it’s fine. That last one was good, I’m just being awkward because I want to kiss you.”

“Oh.”

That was all he had time to say before you kissed him, as if to demonstrate your point - and honestly, you made a really solid argument. So much so that the two of you fell back onto the bed, barely breaking apart as you lay down and he pushed back inside you, your legs spread wide beneath him. Plus, it was nice to be lying down and back in his comfort zone, kissing your neck as he thrust into you, your fingers tugging at his hair, your legs wrapping tightly around his waist--

“Wait wait, stop-”

You both froze as someone came into the house, slamming the front door closed behind them.

For fuck’s sake are you fucking joking?!

Tom kept his face buried in your neck, but he could feel you holding your breath until you heard either Adam or Harrison (he was trying not to think too much about whoever it was) going straight up the stairs. He felt you exhale once an upstairs door banged shut, your hips bucking up as you sighed.

“Okay, carry on.”

He did as he was told and began to move again, thrusting into you. Your moans were quieter now, more restrained, which was a shame, but he’d take what he could get. You bit your lip as he shifted, his arms bracketing your head as he quickly built up speed until he was pounding into you. One hand still tangled in his hair, you slipped the other between your bodies to rub hurriedly at your clit.

“Oh fuck, please,” you whimpered, looking up at him slack jawed and glassy eyed.

“M’gonna - fuck - gonna come,” Tom grunted, feeling your walls clenching and squeezing his cock as he thrust into you as deeply as he possibly could.

Your fingers in his hair tightened, urging him to dip his head to kiss you. You moaned into his mouth as he obliged, your body jerking under his as you came. He kept thrusting into you as he came moments later, his own moans mixing with yours in a hurried, passionate kiss, your hips rutting together as you both rode out your highs. The kiss grew softer as the rhythm of your hips began to slow, until your tongues were lazily dancing together as you ground together slowly.

“Yeah,” you chuckled breathlessly when you finally pulled apart. “We should have just done that to begin with.”

Tom just laughed in reply, scattering kisses across your cheek and down your neck onto your shoulder as he caught his breath. His body was feeling very heavy now, every ounce of tiredness he’d felt earlier coming rushing back after that burst of energy and hormones, and suddenly all he wanted to do was sleep.

“...you’re kinda squishing me a bit, Tom.”

“Hmm?” he hummed, his face nuzzled against your cheek until he replayed your words in his head and understood what you were saying. “Oh! Sorry-”

You unwrapped your legs from around his waist so he could roll off you, before crawling out from underneath him and searching for your underwear on the floor. Tom watched from his spot on the bed as you rummaged through your bag, pulling out a clean pair of knickers and the pyjamas that he’d lent you over the weekend. He just nodded sleepily as you said something about going to the bathroom, taking his dressing gown off the back of the door and tying it around your body before you left the room.

He didn’t think he’d fallen asleep, but it only seemed like a moment later when the door swung open and you came back in, and surely you hadn’t been that quick?

“Someone in there,” you explained when he looked at you in surprise - so maybe he hadn’t fallen asleep, you actually had just come straight back.

Tom nodded again, but this time he sat up, blinking furiously in an attempt to get his eyes to stay open. He couldn’t exactly go to sleep right that second, he was too naked and sticky, so while you hovered by the door waiting for the bathroom to be free he set about cleaning himself up and finding some clean underwear. It was only another minute or two before you both heard the bathroom door open, footsteps going across the landing, and then another door closing.

“Right, be right back.”

By the time you came back for good, Tom had changed into a fresh pair of pyjamas, put something on the TV, and shook out his duvet, and was lying under it all warm and cosy and trying to stay awake at least until you got into bed too.

“Are you actually going to sleep?” you asked as you slipped in under the covers beside him.

“Not like, properly,” he mumbled, turning onto his side holding his arms out for you to wiggle into. “M’just, m’gonna nap… jus’ for a minute…”

He was sure you didn’t believe that - he didn’t believe it either - he’d probably wake up in three hours not knowing who he was or what day it was. He didn’t get to hear whether you had anything to say about it though, because he fell asleep almost immediately, his breathing turning deep and even in your ear in seconds.

⋘ FIFTEEN | SEVENTEEN ⋙

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