Tumgik
#im still struggling to distract myself
arthur-r · 5 months
Text
lyrics: i’m a silly stupid angel, smile sweetly as you watch / and my wings are frail and brittle, and i whisper when i talk / please don’t remind me of the role i’m here to play / please god forgive me for the things that i can’t say / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / i’m your soulmate in denial, self esteem gets in the way / and i’m just a little child who won’t live to see the day / when i’m regarded as a human being too / but all your lies just start to blend into my truth / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / don’t try to tell me i’m not happy / don’t try to tell me this is wrong / don’t try to tell me that i’m broken / cause by now i’m too far gone / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment
#hi i have a very important linguistics paper due in seven hours but i am distracting myself by playing vent music#inspired by: i typed out a long tagful of venting on wednesday night and then realized it was dumb to post it but it included the words#‘​‘tomorrow i will smile like a silly stupid angel’’ and so then the next day which is yesterday when i was once again anxious#then i wrote that part into a song. and now my roommate finally left the room for long enough that i could record it. very roughly#one of those songs where i need to get to a piano and figure out what the real chords are. but here it is for now#anyway this is about suppressing yourself in order to be more easily objectified!!!! because you feel like that’s your innate purpose#the deeper meaning of your life perhaps. the person you need to actualize. that is why i wrote this song#something something i don’t actually think this wrote this during an anxiety attack etc. me when it’s 2 in the morning on a wednesday night#and i have a midterm in the morning but i’m too busy sobbing to either study or sleep. college!! so much fun!!!!#anyways. i’m normal now basically. aside from extremely important paper due seven hours from now#but here is a song right now. i feel like a lot of us are struggling in the same boat#and i definitely am. PS this is not even about my relationship that im in right now. which is good shdhdf that would be an awful start#it’s literally so inapplicable to my current relationship. but i am just still insane. and so i am still upset and afraid. so yeah#anyway i’m in a little bit of a weird way i’m sorry for speaking weird and whatever. looking forward to dinner i think#i hope everyone is doing well. and let me know if you need anything#sending love from depression dorm room. and hope everyone is holding it together okay#me. my post. mine.#delete later#ask to tag
4 notes · View notes
mainfaggot · 4 months
Text
tw eating disorder talk, pt.2 to the last post in the tags (once again, no mention of numbers that could be triggering, just a heartfelt rant bc I've been so afraid of talking about these things on here, but i really just need to get everything out bc . I feel crazy)
#so basically it was bad. this past summer the relapse was so sugarcoated in the sense that#i was telling myself it was fine. it didn't look the same as it did at my very worst#it didn't even feel the same#but it wasn't fulfilling either. it was stressful. it was exhausting. i was using my anorexia as a way to distract from having depression#i needed to feel a sense of achievement and i got it! but at the cost of my physical health#and my mental health was all over the place like less depressed sure. but way more anxious#it was weird. because even now i have to tell myself it wasn't okay. it wasn't fine. it's not worth it it's not WORTH IT#part of me keeps romanticizing it bc i was so in control and i was still working a little and still functioning in a socially acceptable way#but i know how much anxiety it gave me on a daily basis. only i know how my body ached and how low i felt from my immunity going to shit#only I know what it's like to have horrible circulation and constant weakness#no one else will live my life for me#I'm sure there are people who can live the way i was. im sure there are people who thrive like that#but they only thrive for a short time before it all comes crashing fown#and it's not worth the comparison bc when im suffering theyre not going to help me out!!!!!#when im struggling with the weight of it all. the people that promote tiny little portions and academic excellence with no room for#self compassion#they're not going to nurse me back to health#i won't feel a sustained sense of satisfaction from restricting and studying until i pass out from exhaustion. I've done that before#perfectionism is a parasite and this is a disease. it's a fucking mental illness and it's not even about vanity for me like thats just a#fraction of it#anyway#z.post
2 notes · View notes
forkpigeon3146 · 4 months
Text
when i was younger i didnt like pomegranates
i didn't understand the bitter flavour and the odd texture
and it felt like it was always hard to open
not to mention the messiness it caused
i didn't understand it for years
why couldn't it be like other fruit?
why not sweeter and more palatable
why not be easy to eat
like an apple or a grape
why couldn't it make less of a mess?
one easier to contain on a cutting board
why couldnt it be like that?
wouldnt more people like it then?
i said i didn't like it for years
i didn't like its bitter flavour and odd texture and the way it was so hard to open and the mess it made on the counter
but i tried it again recently
i learned how to open it properly
how to slice it so it would open easier
and i learned how to seperate the seeds
from the flesh that made it bitter
and i learned that we can always clean up messes
and when i tasted it again
after so many years of disdain
i found that i didn't hate it
its more bitter flavour gave it taste
and made it unique
and the odd texture was no longer odd
and i cleaned up the mess
with no tears shed
not a single one
and i learned
how to be soft
6 notes · View notes
possiblytracker · 11 months
Text
back to cycling through random underplayed games in my steam library to tide me over i GUESS
7 notes · View notes
milo-is-rambling · 9 months
Text
I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it
#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with#no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to#ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and#then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there#like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day)#(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this#inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m#normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans#are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of#getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and#I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage#where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not#like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my#friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the#only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so#long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy#forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s#what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is#destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)
4 notes · View notes
soggypotatoes · 2 years
Text
weird how quickly i’ve adapted to not having a phone. it was distressing for a day or so, not having something to check periodically, but now i’m like.. fine???? i think part of it though was the fact that i’ve already been taking measures to check my phone less. last time i didn’t have a phone it was a lot harder, though i did enjoy it then too. but now.. i barely even miss it. all i miss really is spotify, maps, and the chat i use with my friends. occasionally when im not doing anything i pick up my phone to check social media, realise i have my brick phone now, and then i shrug and do something else. idk man. im just as addicted as anyone else nowadays. but i guess my recent efforts to rely on it less have been doing something and honestly it’s pretty nice to get to chill with my thoughts more now. i’m starting to find i’m less scared of them - i always felt like if i was alone with my thoughts for too long i’d end up anxious and depressed, but it’s almost the opposite. acknowledging the anxious thoughts instead of compulsively avoiding them via distraction is allowing me to actually work through them, consider and challenge them and then move through it. turns out only *some* of my thoughts are anxious, and on the other side of those dark thoughts are some pretty fun ones that i don’t get to spend much time with usually because of how hard i’m avoiding the not-fun ones. in regards to my assignment, which sent me into a 4 hour anxiety attack yesterday, i’ve managed to find some curiosity about it that has carried me into being able to make a start on it. is this part of why i used to get so anxious about assignments i wouldn’t start until the last minute? the fact that i would just revert to avoidance and distraction rather than sitting with the thoughts and working with them until i come out the other side? i doubt that’s *all* of it, but like. looking back on how i used to live, constantly filling my brain with information or memes or whatever, idk how i managed it without falling apart. i guess i Did fall apart, is the thing. this transition away from those coping mechanisms is insanely difficult, but the more i do it the calmer i feel. shrug emoji
#ed mumbles#1 day and im like.#so fine with not having a smart phone#ive still got a new phone on the way#but i have at least 4/5 more days without it#im going to enjoy it i think!#and occasionally will take a break and chill with my brick phone#maybe during times when i have assignments due#cause i think the compulsion to seek distraction is part of why i struggle so much there#and in other places#also without my phone it means the only social media i check now is tumblr#and i only check it for like. maybe half an hour a day#life is good w/out twitter or tiktok :)#srsly though i am not pretending its easy#yesterday is proof of that.. but i think yesterdays meltdown was actually a step forward for me in a few ways#it felt like going backwards but im actually ahead of myself now#still behind on my assignment but i think i know what im doing#also i am Overjoyed that i really like...#had a crying meltdown and wanted to sh and drink and all that#and instead i spent a few hours making a really fancy lasagna#with like slow cooked beef and a proper cheese sauce#instead of hurting myself i made something delicious that will feed me and my housemate for a few days!!#me even a few months ago could have never done that#we spend so much time avoiding breakdowns#that we dont stop to consider that maybe having a breakdown is a step forward at times#it's a challenge and a way to learn things about yourself and your situation#all this avoidance and distraction just makes things worse... so much worse#yada yada yada that damn phone..
10 notes · View notes
hellofuture · 1 year
Text
🤣.....
4 notes · View notes
secretlyabunny · 2 years
Text
-
2 notes · View notes
haroburst · 2 years
Text
in today's episode of songs that feel like they wretched the lyrics out of my subconcience:
don't pay me no mind, i'll be fine I'll pull myself together this time I'll try to be someone who could hold up, hold up alone I'll try to be someone who could hold up, hold up on their own
-Kenny by Still Woozy
4 notes · View notes
gloomythedance · 3 months
Text
The results of a Fast
for the last 20ish days I picked something to fast, and so i took the opportunity to stop consuming entertainment: I could only create to keep busy. for the past three years, ive had so much trouble getting myself to do things i wanted to do! i could barely get myself to draw or to craft or to make anything. so i made it my only option.
No videos, unless they were tutorials on something i was currently making or instrumental music. No movies, no tumblr, no pinterest, no video games. The exception to this was that I could engage in all of these when I was hanging out at my bf's house twice per week.
I could only create to keep myself entertained, and let me say, I've never been so entertained in my life.
consumable entertainment was almost impossible to wean myself from before, but apparently dropping everything cold Worked. You know, with the extra backup that i am being watched with omniscience to keep me on track.
it was hard for the first two days. every time i was bored (every 30-60 minutes), instead of going to youtube to see what interesting thing there was, i was forced to pick which activity i would have the most fun with. So far I have started developing an app, learning how to use Godot, and composing creepy chiptune music. i made titanium jewelry. ive been dancing or at least exercising each day. I forgot about youtube and tumblr by day 3 (thank you, non-habit-forming-ness).
one thing that has helped infinitely much is that I got an app to ring a bell and tell me the time every 30 minutes, like the clock tower I used to live by. i no longer lose hours of my day because i cant tell that time is passing.
one thing i wasnt expecting: i usually have a hard time waiting for things. eg if i have to leave in 30 minutes, i find a video to watch or scroll until i leave. or if i have something in 2 hours, i wont try a task that might take too long. now, when i have class in an hour, im like "great i will compose music" or "time to experiment with this makeup powder" until the second i have to go
because im bored! im so bored all the time and theres too much time in a day, but i have many things i can do with my hands and thats the best
the hardest thing to stay away from was video games. towards the end of my fast, i broke it and played spiritfarer for a few days, but i stopped again. and now im logging back in to tumblr send my friends memes.
what's most important is now, when i do these "consumed entertainment" things, my brain asks to go back to creating. I had such a mental high and a giant dopamine return that these consuming-things leave me unsatisfied. which is good! they werent satisfying to begin with, but i was still stuck on them because i didnt know what other options i had.
I will take efforts to restrict my time with consuming entertainment. i will probably let myself look at tumblr like. once per week, maybe even less. I will play video games for 2 hours on non-school days. I dont think i will watch youtube outside of when I am sewing clothes. I tasted freedom and i dont want to lose it again. it was great, and now i am going to make a tune on JummBox
0 notes
munch-mumbles · 5 months
Text
kj post five hundred thousand lamenting the loss of my passion for drawing because its starting to feel like its never coming back
#it shouldnt feel like a chore! i miss when it was fun!!!!#as much as i try not to care about my art posts flopping because i know attention shouldnt be my motivator for drawing#it does still make me a little sad so now my brain struggles to want to create anything#like i WANT to create desperately desperately but i sit down to draw and just want to go to bed#the tiredness has been permeating my life ive become extremely socially isolated#which loops around to making me even more bored because im just in my own head all day and theres not even anything in here#my attention span has degraded to the point that i literally have to force myself to try and think about my own ocs most of the time#which doesnt even work because within two seconds i get distracted by being frustrated i have to force it#gruhhhhh . grouhhhh#i miss when mlad was fresh and it was so fun and exciting and fulfilling to work on it#now even though i still love it and want to work on it it just keeps slipping between my fingers#GRUHHH. i want to draw i want to write i want to talk to people but i Cant#i need to join another server or something because after my last Really bad mental period i isolated myself a lot lot lot. and ive been too#scared to go back to my old spot and now i very rarely talk to more than one person a day (excluding work)#im lonely and im too exhausted to be interesting enough to fix it!#im pretty sure 80% of my problems could be fixed with like. adhd medication#but im too tired and lazy and tired to start the road to getting it#sorry i keep coming back to append on more tags but last thought i prommy. i just miss when things could actually hold my attention#i miss having the motivation to do minicomics for lore drops i miss being so excited about aus with friends i would do multiple sketches a#day i miss being so gripped by individual scenes between characters i would take the time to write a multi page minific about it#why cant my brain HOLD ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#JUST PAY ATTENTION :(#i need a new hyperfixation or im going to do something drastic.
0 notes
thisfanisgonesorry · 9 months
Text
ironhead — hobie brown
i got possessed and had an epiphany because to me this just makes SO MUCH sense. also i HATE writing accents fuck off. kinda mid i lowkey struggled w the dialogue idc the main point is that brother ties you up. i promise ill write him better if i write him again im just. THOUGHTS THOUGHTS THOUGHTS.
🕷
tags: smut, bondage, shibari, light dom/sub, i dont think hed like power dynamics, however; mutual light teasing (not a huge amount of dialogue, bros mouth is busy). tit play (i dont usually write this one, oh god), aftercare duh, lots of kisses cos holy fucking shit his lips look so nice SJAJAJA
(my reqs are open pleasepleasepleaseplease, ill write most of the guys from spv, pleasepleaseplease)
guys my beta reader died while reading this.. i hope its okay
🕷
“How does tha’ feel? Not dodgy?” He asked, tugging on the webbing. I was sitting on the bed, leaning against a pile of pillows as he made sure the web-ropes were secure and done up properly.
“Good.” I spoke, and he gestured for him to keep talking so he could make sure everything was going to go smoothly. “Uh, not too tight but not too loose. It’s fine, I think. Feels sticky.”
"Want me to walk you through this?” He asked, his hands resting on my knees. “This is a spiral futomomo, can y’move y’legs?”
“No.” I spoke, trying to move my legs, only able to shut my thighs together.
“This is just a basic star harness, usually don’t have the arms tied up. This one does ‘cause y’can’t keep your ‘ands to y’self.” He speaks briefly, his main goal is to get the point across to keep this all safe, and his secondary goal is to push my buttons as frequently as he can. He slapped the side of my tit, watching it bounce slightly. I took a sharp inhale at the unexpected feeling, and he used it as his chance to pinch my nipple harshly. “Then there’s a dragonfly sleeve to make sure y’stay still. Can you move?”
“No..”
“Good.” He spoke with another harsh tug and another slap, his eyes were glazed slightly as he admired the slight red hand print forming on the squishy flesh, forming very quickly — faster than he anticipated, the skin was just so delicate.
He repositioned us slightly, kneeling closer to me and trying to pull me to sit on his lap despite my efforts in keeping my legs shut.
“Darlin’, show me that pretty li’l cunt.”
I reluctantly spread my legs and he pulled me to sit on his thighs, nuzzling into my neck and pressing soft kisses into the skin.
“Can I get a snog?” I teased slightly.
“Don’t be cheeky.” He said firmly, ignoring me completely and lowering himself to my chest; making keen eye contact with me as he pressed a kiss on the reddening hand print, wrapping his plump lips softly around the areola.
He nipped at the skin slightly as his hand reached up to the other. He groped it for a moment, before pinching the nipple in his hand. There wasn’t an abundance of volume besides the wet sounds his mouth was making, though he noticed the way I writhed in his touch, groaning silently and breathing heavily.
His other hand dipped to between my thighs, feeling the wetness before rubbing his fingers in circles around the clit.
“That’s it.” He praised slightly, whispering into my flesh. “Good girl.”
I began to grind down onto his hand, feeling him enjoy his time with my tits. I sighed, throwing my head back and struggling against the sticky ropes. 
“Baby..”
“Stop squirming.” He warned.
I knew I had no hope of getting out of his webs, and if I did, there’d probably be a consequence to fucking up what he wanted to do but god, he looked so delectable. So touchable. I helplessly tried to grind myself on his fingers, trying to distract myself from the way my arms were tied to me.
“C’mon, ask nicely. I know y’want more.”
“Pretty please? Need more.” I asked sweetly.
His own need began taking over him and it was blatantly obvious; I could feel his rock hard dick pressing against my thigh through his pants.
“Y’sound so nice like that.”
He slipped his fingers inside me. groaning and bucking his hips as he felt the soft, wet walls. His thumb slowly rubbed my clit as his index and middle worked in a ‘come hither’ motion. He worked me slowly, planning to drag this out as long as possible for his own enjoyment. His movements were meticulous, extremely preplanned, like he’d been sitting on this fantasy for a long time, but that strategic energy didn’t last long.
“You’re so fuckin’ hot, love.” He groaned, trying to pronounce his words clearly despite his lust filled slur. He could feel the slight clench around his fingers, and the rest of his body got greedy with want.
“Keep doin’ that, right there, Hobes.”
He pressed his tongue flat against the nipple, opening his mouth enough to look erotic; He sat like there for a moment, catching my attention to watch him, a low groan crawling its way out of my throat. He had a smug grin as he moved to bite and suck on the flesh, his other hand no longer methodical, all it portrayed was an incessant need.
I let out a loud moan. “Fuck, that’s so good.”
Feeling the tight, squishy walls of my insides sent him into a desire filled stupor, doing nothing but greedily grabbing what he could as he worked me closer to orgasm. The feeling of his talented hands moving against my nerves was doing wonders, and it was doing those wonders quite fast.
He began grinding his hard dick against my thigh. “Y’so..” He groaned. “Bloody hell, you’re wretched.” He tried to joke.
“Coming from you.” I bit back, throwing my head back again as he kept fucking his fingers into me and torturing my tits.
“Wanted.. Had it all planned out. You’ve fucked it, yeah? So fuckin’ hot. Can’t resist.”
“Not my fault you got worked up so fast.”
“Don’t.” He grunted with a harsh bite. “You’re so tight, love, need to bury my cock in you. Need..” He groaned.
“Keep talkin’ like that and I’m gonna cum.”
“Need’a feel y’cum around my fingers. On my prick. Let me feel that tight cunt, baby. Gonna fuck you all night long.” He rambled, pressing soft kisses on the flesh, watching the flowering bruises form.
He could sense the impending orgasm as my breathing got heavy and rapid, grinding against his hand messily and squirming at the restraints. 
“Shit..”
“You’re so close.” He taunted. “Let me feel it.”
My mouth opened and closed like I was gasping for air, his mouth trailed from my tits, up to my collarbone, neck, jaw and eventually landed intoxicatingly sweetly on my mouth. 
“Hobes.” I moaned into his mouth and he swallowed it with a welcoming groan.
“Y’re so pretty like this ‘n we still ‘ave all night.” He spoke, pulling my body closer to his as he moved his mouth to the other breast, planning to mark it up too.
“Mhm. I’m gonna—”
“Please.”
That was it. I couldn’t survive much longer, I tried to tug on the ropes but to no avail as I began clenching desperately around his fingers.
“Hobie, Hobie..” I moaned.
“Y/n, Y/n.” He moaned back in an attempt to mock me.
I slumped down, resting my head on his shoulder as I moaned loudly, letting myself unwind and cum all over his fingers. I kept struggling against the ropes and he grabbed my wrists, trying to hold it in place as he groaned at the feeling of my spasming cunt. He kept trying to fuck into me as I came down from the high.
I gasped and panted for air, leaning against him and he pulled his drenched fingers out, sticking them in his beautiful mouth before whispering. “Keep strugglin’ and you’re gonna hurt yourself.” He spoke, not as a warning but as a statement.
“Wanna touch you.”
“That’s why the ropes are there, love.” He breathed heavily, grinding his aching cock against the wetness, ruining his jeans slightly. “God.” He grunted. “You’re so sexy.” 
“Go on.” I rolled my eyes sarcastically, leaning forward to kiss him.
— When he says ‘all night’, he really means it.
🕷
BONUS ROUND:
“Don’t fall asleep on me, darlin'.” He spoke as he quickly cut the webbing around my arms, before struggling to take off the harness without moving me around too much, laying me down on the soft pillows.
“Rope burn.” I mumbled tiredly, rubbing my wrists the second they were free.
“That wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t squirm so much.”
I let out a hum as an indirect response to let him know I acknowledge it. He removed the harness and began kissing my wrists slightly, looking up at me with soft eyes. He placed quick kisses on my neck where the rope dug into the skin as he lazily sliced open the fotomomo knots.
The second that one of my legs were free, he gently grabbed my calf and pulled the leg out so it laid straight
“Move around, stretch ‘em out.” He directed.
I moved my legs around, trying to get the stiffness out as he held my calf, pressing soft kisses into the skin before quickly untying the other and doing the same.
“Keep stretchin’ it, good girl.”
Once both legs were stretched out and he was satisfied with the amount of kisses littered over them, he raised back to my body, pressing a soft kiss on my lips.
“Can you get me a shirt?” I asked weakly with a grin.
He sucked his teeth as he got up, looking for one of his shirts that I could put one on and comfortably sleep in.
“Next time, I’m tying a vibrator between your legs.” He joked as he dug through the wardrobe.
✰ pt 2 >> LET ME HEAR YOU SCREAM
413 notes · View notes
bellewintersroe · 9 months
Text
Charles Leclerc x reader smut - part 2
obsessed with this man I s2g, so here’s a part 2, literally just a series full of smut, kinda spontaneous so I don’t even know where this is going, but whatever. Link to Part 1.
Since Charles and Jenny’s encounter, Jenny was left even more frustrated, and with Charles’ orders that she couldn’t cum until he was the one to make her, she struggles even more to cope with the anticipation of having him again. The aftermath of them two is a tense, giggly mess skcieifiekw Charles is really soft hasnt shown his confident side in bed yet and reader can tell.
Smut - 18+ sexting, masturbation, teasing, swearing, dirty talk. Charles is a flustered mess, almost blows it a little too quickly… oral, fingering, p in v sex. Sexual tension? Ahh I want this man so bad.
Tumblr media
My half sister was asleep in bed next to me and all I could do was stare at the ceiling of the hotel, waiting, waiting and waiting. Why she was asleep at 8pm I’ll never know, but now I had no way from distracting myself from the real issue on my mind. Charles. After our encounter earlier all I could think about was having him again, I got butterflies whenever I thought about it, and when I replayed his words in my mind they went straight to my core.
‘Don’t touch yourself until I can’.
How on earth was I supposed to wait? My hotel room was free for three whole hours whilst Eva, my sister was with her ‘boyfriend’ that she’d met in Austria. Seeing as she’d been sneaking out and I’d kept her secret, it was her turn to keep mine. I’d kept to Charles’s words all afternoon, waiting rather impatiently, but now it was getting later and later, all I could do was laid with tightly crossed legs and scroll through my phone in a pathetic attempt to distract myself.
Charles had been texting me back and fourth all afternoon, apart from when he was training of course. The more time that passed the hornier I got. So I took myself to the bathroom, deciding to run a second shower. “Fuck this…” I muttered, locking the door and stripping off my clothes. My underwear were already dripping wet, and I sighed, annoyed by my own desperation. I could still imagine vividly the slight stretch of my tight hole around his cock, the way he’d press so hard against me that his balls would push against my ass. Before I knew it my right hand was rubbing over my clit, taking my phone in my other hand and snapping a picture of my bare tits and torso, cutting it off just before he could see where I was touching. Oops
I’d sent to him the message, stepping in the shower with my hair tied up to avoid getting it wet. Maybe it was a good idea to cool off. When my phone buzzed again, I took it with wet hands.
I thought you said you were going to wait
I’m not making myself cum, but I’m just so wet from earlier, I can’t help it
fuck you are making me hard
To this, I sent him another picture of my wet tits pressed together, fingers slightly sprawled over my pierced nipple, awaiting his response as I tightened my legs. I loved the idea of Charles being hard over me, no matter how many times we had these conversations, they never failed to turn me on more than anything. You are so fucking beautiful, I’m going to fuck you so good later
are you touching yourself? Smirking, I pulled out the camera again, leaning against the wall as I sunk down to the floor, spreading my legs and sending him a video of me rubbing my clit slowly. fuck fuck fuck Jenny im leaving in a minute
So hard for you omg
Leaning back I let out a quiet sigh, enjoying the sensation of touching myself, I was throbbing so desperately, closing my eyes and becoming lost in the moment. I imagined his fingers pushed inside of me, fingering me until I squirted down his arm, screaming his name as I tugged on his short hair. The way he’d muffle a moan if his face was pressed up to my pussy, tongue licking up and down as he made me cum all over his face. Fuck, if I continued I wouldn’t stop. I was dangerously close to losing control, so I had to pull my hand away and continue with a second shower, unable to look at Charles’ dirty words until I was done.
I will be back in 10 minutes, I’ll come get you
just as long as you’re quieter than you were earlier 😉
shut up
I giggled, realising I kinda had to rush. I had to go through the full routine again, moisturising, spraying perfume, picking out new underwear. “What’re you doing?” My sister grumbled from behind me, thick in her French accent, as I stuffed my phone into my pocket. I had to leave now. Charles was outside the room. “Uh going out, I’ll be back in the morning, don’t tell dad, cos’ I kept your boyfriend a secret!” I warned as she pfffted out a tired laugh. “Salope.” She joked as I fake gasped. “You are the slut!” I giggled, heading down the corridor, knowing my secret was safe. “Jenna?” She then asked. “C’est Charles?” I cringed at her question. She’d caught on oddly fast. “Non.” I lied, before slipping out of the room and seeing Charles stood there, hood up and a gentle smile covering his face. I immediately smile, being quiet to close the door behind me. “Bonjour.” I teased as he wrapped an arm over my shoulders, pressing a kiss to my lips, “hello.” He eyed me up and down, squeezing my shoulder before his arm dropped and he left a lazy hand on my lower back.
“Thats his room… be quiet.” I whispered, as we passed my father and step-mums room with our heads dipped. “Lucky, I am on a different floor.” He shrugged, pressing the elevator button. The whole time we were waiting for the lift I was anxiously awaiting somebody I knew to open their door or come out from down the hallway. When a door did pull open, I was grateful that we’d hopped into the lift for safety. Charles pressed the button number 7 and then I frantically pressed the close button, relieved when we began moving upwards.
He laughed at my frantic behaviour, coming up behind me and making eye contact with me through the mirror in the lift. “You look so good.” He muttered, voice getting lower as he stepped closer towards me, hooking an arm over my chest.
Smiling back up to him, I watched as he dipped his head inhaling the scent of my hair. “You smell good!” His words made me laugh now, feeling him nuzzle his nose into my freshly washed hair. “You weirdo!” I giggled, digging my bum back into his hips as he groaned, moving the hair back with a kiss to my neck. “Mmm, ça m'excite.” He admitted it turned him on as I hummed, running a hand over his clothed arm.
He mimicked my hum, leaving several kisses on my skin as I gasped out a soft sigh, just as the lift doors opened. There was two different couples stood wide eyed, luckily I didn’t recognise either of them as Charles cleared his throat, lowering his head and leading me out of the lift with his hand. Once we’d past them, both of us giggled, sharing a kiss whilst he used his keycard to open the hotel door.
Oh my god, his room was nice, 10x better than mine and Eva’s and I wasn’t surprised. I turned back to him with my jaw dropped. “It’s so nice in here!”
“It is… I gotta shower and I’ll be back with you, put whatever you want on the TV.” He glanced me up and down as I nodded, sitting down on the plush bed and leaning back. “Ugh, so comfy.”
“I know!” He exclaimed, stripping off his hoody and tossing it straight onto my head playfully. His phone was still in the pocket, luckily it didn’t hit my head but it didn’t stop him from rushing over.
“I am sorry! I forgot that was in there! Are you okay?” He laughed, scanning over me as he held my face. “I’m okay, you idiot.” I laughed, playfully tapping his face as he pressed a kiss to my forehead, and then again to my lips. Charles jumped up quick, almost child like. “Ok, I will go shower now.”
Whilst he was showering, I was struggling to work the TV, everything was in French, or German. I mean we were in Austria, I just struggled to follow the language when it was on the TV. In the end I settled for some French sitcom whilst I awaited Charles to be finished in the shower.
10 minutes later, Charles walked back out in a fresh pair of Calvin Kleins, practically diving on the bed with a playful look in his eyes. “Don’t look at me half naked.” He half joked as I giggled. “What?! I barley even saw you!”
“Good…” he spun around on the bed, resting next to me against the headboard. “What are you watching this for?!” Charles spluttered out a laugh, taking the control that had been resting in my hand. “It’s my favourite TV show.” I sarcastically spoke. “Can’t you tell?” “No, I can’t.” He laughed sheepishly, clearly thinking I was being serious. “I’m being sarcastic, I don’t even know what they’re saying. Their French is too quick. Le mien est lent.” I told him mine was slow, longing out the sentence as Charles scanned over my face. His gaze dropping down to my lips. “You sound good when you speak French.”
“Hm?” The corner of my lip perked, pulling my knees up slightly to bend, but Charles had other ideas. His hand smoothed down my thigh, nudging it back on the bed as I swallowed harshly. “It’s a shame I could not hear you in those videos earlier.” He muttered sending a wave of butterflies through my lower stomach. “I had to be quiet.” “You didn’t cum did you?” He asked, hand pausing as his fingers just about nudged under the hem of my grey jogging shorts. “No, I listened.” I teased, watching a smile grow on his face. “Now I have finally got you alone.” Charles smirked, his fingers continuing their way up to rest on my inner thigh. “About time.” I moaned, watching him sit up slightly so he could nudge his lips against mine to steal a kiss. I could feel his smile against my mouth the whole time, it made it a little hard to kiss, but I didn’t care, his excitement was a compliment to me. Plus, I’d been waiting for this all day. The playful tone in the room soon switched up to something heavier as he lay between my legs, kissing me hungrily with his tongue rolling over mine. There was that thick tension between the two of us again, one that made me pull his hips further into my own. We didn’t have to speak to let one another know how badly we yearned for this. I was wet just from kissing, and Charles didn’t hesitate to slip off my shorts, discarding them next to us on the bed.
“I want to taste you… can I taste you?” He asked, fingers inching closer up my thigh, teasing around the area as I writhed, not being down for this teasing. After months of fantasising about this, and him saying how badly he wanted his mouth on my pussy, my dream was finally coming to life.
“Yeah.” I weakly spoke, hand on his head as he worked his way down my body. Oh god, oh god, I was already breathing heavy, but this was just making my chest heave and fall at a ridiculous pace. “Are you sure?” He breathed, lips pressing a kiss to the lace of my thongs. “Mmh, please.” I moaned as he let out a soft chuckle, fingers nipping under the edge of my skinny underwear. “I like this.” He whispered before sliding them down my legs. I gulped, fidgeting my legs as he nudged them open, leaning in and finally licking a stripe up my pussy. The two of us simultaneously groaned. “Mmm, Charles.” I cooed, as he hummed, licking over me once again. The heat from his tongue, followed by his lips wrapping around my clit sent me onto a whole other planet. “You taste so good, baby.” He uttered, barely breaking away from his movements as he sucked over my clit again. He looked away, shyly, rubbing his hands up and under my tight shirt, squeezing at my tits. “Couldn’t stop staring at these tits.” He admitted as I let out a louder moan, feeling him pinch at the pierced buds. “So sexy.” He commented before licking up and down over my sensitive clit once again. “Charles.” My body jerked, knees trapping his head as he continued his assault on my core. “Oh my god, you feel so god.” I finally spoke, feeling him smile as I whined, grinding my hips against his mouth. “How can I make you cum, baby, with my fingers?” He asked, seeming a little unsure as I nodded with a pleasured sigh. Charles wiped the back of his mouth before kissing me, tracing once finger down my naval, over my slit and easily pushing into my wetness. “Oh, fuck.” I gasped as he hummed, nodding besides me as he kept pushing his finger in and out. “Keep- keep going.” I gasped, hearing the squelching of my wetness against his fingers, my own hand moved down to assist his, rubbing over my clit as Charles kissed at my cheek.
“I’ve been thinking about this all day. About you.” Charles admitted as I moaned, dropping my head against his for support. “Keep talking to me.” I whined, desperate to hear more. “About how tight your pussy felt, how badly I wanted to cum in there… can you take two?” He hummed as I moaned out loud, hand grabbing at his prominent bulge, desperate for something to hold onto.
“Yeah.” Charles pushed his second finger into my tightness as my breath hitched, feeling the intensity of his fingers jabbing at my G-spot. “I imagined you cumming all down my fingers.” His accent was doing wonders for me and soon it was my turn to talk back. “Gonna make me cum Charles, fuck, do you want me to?”
“Yes, baby, oui, jouis pour moi.” He instructed me to cum for him, my stomach curling and tightening as I let out a louder gasp, squeezing the head of his cock as he let out an inward groan. “Cum for me and I will fuck you so good.” He told me, “Charles!” I warned, hand moving to snatch at his flexed arm as I choked out several moans. “I-I’m cumming! I’m cumming!” I gasped, feeling the overwhelming pleasure soon rattle through me. I felt myself release from below, squirting on him as I let out a borderline scream, covering my mouth but Charles pulled my hand away. “That’s it, that’s it.” He cooed me through my orgasm as I sobbed out, body writhing and twitching as he milked my orgasm.
“Tu as giclé pour moi. Tu es tellement bon.” He muttered gently, easing his fingers out of me once my body had relaxed. “What? I don’t know what tha’ means.” I panted furiously. “I don’t know it in English, you… you know.” He gestured down to my below. “Squirted?” I awkwardly said as he nodded. “Yes, I lost my English.” “Mmm, it’s okay.” I hushed, pulling him in for a kiss as I swiped my hand down to rub over his cock. “You’re so hard.” I moaned as he let out a breathy sigh against my mouth. “I can’t wait to feel you inside me.” I urged him on, taking a hold and rubbing more at his cock.
“I need to fuck you.” Charles then spoke, “I need to- putain, c'est trop bon.” He cut himself off with a curse in French, hips jumping when I squeezed his dick. He made out with me for a little longer, breathing heavy as I quickened my pace. “Non, non… I am taking care of you.” He seemed to fight an internal battle, but didn’t push me away. “I like doing this, Charles, making you feel good.” I cooed as he moaned out loud now. “C'est trop rapide. Putain, si tu n'arrêtes pas ça ira trop vite.” (This is too quick. Fuck, if you don’t stop it will happen too quick).
“What will happen too quick?” I bucked my naked hips up at him as he quickly stopped me. “Non, non, non. Give me a minute-“ he exhaled quickly, freezing and stopping my hand from touching him. “Are you okay?”
“You just nearly make me cum too fast.” For some reason, his words spurred me on further, but I knew I couldn’t continue to tease. “It’s okay.” I whispered, turning around and stripping my top off. Charles eyes were constantly on me, and it was within no time that he was pushing me under his body. “You can fuck me exactly how you wanted to now.” I giggled as he bit down on his lips, kicking off his underwear. “You want this?” He asked, pumping at his cock. So fucking hard and long, he was the perfect size. “Yeah… do you?”
“So much.” He cooed, easing himself in once again. I gasped, snatching at his shoulders. This time, the burn was a little harsher than before, but I pushed through it, knowing I was just a little sore from earlier. “Is it ok?” Charles let out a groan, with a noise like that how could I ever stop? “Fuck me.” I begged, moving my hips up until he finally began thrusting in and out of me. “Does that feel okay?” I could tell he was holding himself back, straining as he held himself up to wait for my answer. “It’s good.” I panted with a reassuring smile. “You feel so good.” This made hun smile as he moved forwards to kiss me much deeper now.
“Oh, yeah.” Charles moaned directly into my ear making me sigh out in utter pleasure, feeling his hand holding the back of my head. “Harder.”
“Harder?” He looked back as I nodded. “Please, I need it.” I spoke through almost gritted teeth as he rested his hands either side of me, beginning to fuck into me at a pace that I could barely moan properly at. He was so good, his hips were slapping against my own, the bed beginning to squeak at our antics.
I took his hand, running it over my breasts and throat teasingly. “Oh god.” He closed his eyes, tending his jaw as he thrusted into me harsher. With each intense thrust I yelled out, snatching and scratching at his back as Charles hissed. His cock was filling me up, stretching my pussy out, my legs were wide and he was slotted so perfectly between them. Sinful noises filled the room as we continued with our passionate fucking. I couldn’t stop, neither could he, it was like a desperation as we chased one another’s orgasms. Every time we’d start off sweet and slow it’s like something inside of us clicked and an animalistic side came out. I tugged on Charles’s wrist, pushing his hand onto my neck as he groaned. “You will make me cum, fuck! You will make me come, Jen- jouis avec moi. jouis avec moi, baby!” We were spooning, my leg stretched up as he frantically fucked me like there was no tomorrow.
“Cum together?” I repeated. “Oui!” He gasped out, tightening his grip on my neck as I rolled my eyes back, feeling him rubbing over my clit. The pace was overwhelming, I could no longer hold back the anticipation racking up inside of me. “Okay, cum, cum inside me, fuck, give it to me- Ah, I’m cumming!” My voice raised as Charles gasped out, fucking his seed into me as he came with a satisfied moan, simultaneous to my own. “Fuck, fuck. I just came so hard.” Charles choked out, his tight grip loosening do rub over my skin. I was exhaling loudly, body jolting and jittering from the aftershocks of my orgasm. “So did I.” I sighed, feeling him milking the last of his cum inside of me, body dripping with sweat as he gently rested an arm over me. “Just stay like this.” Charles cooed, pulling me close as I hummed, snuggling into his back. “Are you okay?”
“Tired.” I responded feeling him lifting his head to take a look at me. “Tu as bien fait ma belle.” (You did so good, my beautiful). An undeniable smile grew on my face. “So did you…”
514 notes · View notes
klausysworld · 10 months
Note
Can i ask if you could do a yandere!klaus one where the reader gets away but gets picked up by one of his siblings?
I adore your writing
Tumblr media
I get scared sometimes
It was cruel really.
Kol had helped me escape.
He had come up with the plan, he had given me the money to get away and told me the train schedules. He had distracted Klaus so that I could escape.
But it was a game to him.
It was a ploy to get in his brothers favour.
Kol hand me by the hair as he dragged me kicking and screaming up the stairs
“Niiik! I found your little pet!” He yelled while holding me up as though I were a fish he had caught.
Klaus’s expression was dark as he stepped out from him room
“Drop her” he commanded and Kol released me to the ground with a chuckle. I curls into myself instantly and my hands hand the back of my head hoping that he hadn’t ripped out my hair. Choked cries left my mouth as I was pulled up from the ground and carried back to Klaus’s room.
The door slammed shut beside us and I was held up by my neck, his hand had a tight grip around my throat and forced me to look up at him. I let out a sob making his eyes flash gold and a growl to crawl up from his throat
“What on earth are you crying for?” He whispered in a dangerous tone. I hyperventilated as I tried to get out from his hold but he squeezed tighter.
“No no no, you won’t be going very far now my love.” He sneered before losing his grip and having me fall to the ground once again.
“Stop” I whispered in a sob while crawling toward the bed to hide beneath it but he was picking me straight back up and shoving me onto the mattress and getting on top of me. His knees where either side of my hips and his hands held my upper arms down as his face hovered over mine.
“Would you stop running? Stop trying to leave me!” He yelled and I hiccuped on my cries as I held them in.
It wasn’t my first attempt to run away.
It was the first time I had gotten that far though. It must’ve scared him knowing I managed to get so far out of reach, if only he knew that I hadn’t done it myself.
“I’m-Im sorry” I whispered. There were limited ways I could play this.
I could throw Kol under the bus and hope that Klaus believes me which is unlikely at this moment in time.
I could fight, kick, hit scream, and eventually be tied up and gagged to shut me up.
Or I could play manipulative and hope that he’s vulnerable enough to believe me.
I stopped any struggle against him and closed my eyes. My breathing slowly evened out, when I looked back to him his eyes were sadder than before, anger still there but that insecurity was back, and it was exactly what I needed in my position.
I moved my arm cautiously, he allowed me to lift my hand up to cup his face. He leaned into my touch and sighed. I brought my other hand to cup the other side and used my thumbs to stroke his cheek bones.
He leaned forward so our foreheads pressed together, his nose brushed mine and then our lips.
“I’m so sorry” I whispered and he sighed out again, I felt some of the weight of his body on mine as he seemingly relaxed a little
“Why do you run from me?” He asked quietly
“I don’t know” I told him “I just get scared”
“Of me?” He questioned, a crack in his voice as he asks
“Of how much you love me” I murmur “I’ve never been loved so much” I brought my hand to the back of his head “And I’ve never loved someone as much as I love you….it scares me” I tell him with a sniff “I just…I figured if I left first then you wouldn’t be able to leave me”
His body entirely relaxes against me and his lips press to mine, I kiss him back softly and my fingers curl around his hair
“I’m so sorry” I whispered as he pulled away
His hands wiped my cheeks as he sat up and pulled me with him
“It’s okay, I understand” he admits and gives a small, sad smile. “But I will never, ever leave you, so please…don’t be afraid anymore” he pleads “I would never hurt you like that”
“I don’t mean to hurt you” I tell him with tears in my eyes
“I know you don’t, you’re protecting yourself” he murmured with a nod “but I will protect you now, you don’t have to worry ever again” he promises
“I can’t help it” I whispered. He pulled me to his chest and rubbed my back
“Then I’ll help you” he mumbled “you will always be safe here, I’ll stay with you…always and forever”
294 notes · View notes
billiedeansbitch · 1 year
Text
𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 [𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐]
𝐋𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐚 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
summary: Larissa was compelled to use her annual leave to take care of her nieces for five days; what she wasn’t expecting was that an unnecessarily attractive baby-sitter would be accompanying her as well. 
a/n: sorry if this took so long to be posted. I went through some tough shit but I'm okay now. Enjoy <3
warning/s: none.
<<Previous part Next part>>
taglist: @thoroughly--confused @gwendolinechristieiscute @winterfireblond @im-a-carnivorous-plant @poorwritingandstalecoffee @justcallmelittleone @digital-demise @kimiinou
The struggle to sleep through the night rendered you exhausted in the morning. It was only five o’clock, and yet you felt like you couldn’t stay in bed any longer. The more time you spent with your eyes closed, the more she appeared in your head like a ghost haunting you making sure she was all you could think of.
With great reluctance, you peeled the sheet off your body as the room temperature grew significantly hot, and willed yourself off the bed.
After a quick stop in the bathroom, trying your best to look decent, you tiptoed your way to the kitchen as quietly as you could to avoid waking anyone up in case someone was a light sleeper. 
As you were trying to navigate around the kitchen and successfully put the kettle on the stove, you started checking for the tea packets in the pantry and you spotted a whole box on the top shelf.
Confident that it was not that hard to fish out without using a stool from the lack of height, you stretched your arm up and stood on your toes. Honestly, why was the tea placement so high? It was ridiculous for people like you.
Too distracted by your will to reach it, you failed to notice the appearance of someone behind you, that was until they extended their own arm and effortlessly beat you in reaching for the box. You turned so suddenly with your heart beating fast in your chest, that you stumbled forward into the intruder’s body, your hand on their chest, and oh, what a lovely intruder it was for it bore the face of the woman named Larissa Weems.
The woman’s free hand instinctively flew to your waist, steadying you, and your skin burned at the contact, her hand managed to slip under the hem of your shirt. It was purely accidental but still, it made you want to melt into a puddle. 
Larissa, too, didn’t expect the impact it could cause her body. She felt herself getting breathless, as warmth spread across her cheeks, down her chest. She could perfectly feel the softness of your skin underneath her cold fingertips and noted how you shivered. The hand on her chest made her look down, it was odd, how it felt like it belonged there as well as the hand on your waist seamlessly fitting your waist.
She looked into your eyes, trying to filter any sense of discomfort, there was none, you were rather calm and positivity delighted. It amused her, too, that your eyes were seemingly lost on her lips. 
She separated herself, holding out the box to you.
“How’d you know I was here?” you wondered, taking the box from her.
Larissa shook her head, her lips curving to a small smile, “I didn’t. I was going to make tea for myself and found you clearly struggling.”
“I was not. I had it.” you were quick to defend yourself. Larissa decidedly teased you. “Not from how I saw it. Why didn’t you use the stool?” 
You huffed playfully, “I didn’t need it. I told you I had it. I swear.” 
She only hummed, finding it charming to have you so riled up. A wicked grin possessed the older woman’s lips, one that most likely made you feel like your heart just dropped.
Later, in the kitchen, where you found yourself speechless as Larissa managed to make a simple breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs, bacon and some toasts, she also readied some cereals for the kids giving them more options for breakfast. 
For yourself, you opted to pair your tea with some toast, buttering the burnt side generously. You took a bite and found a pair of blue eyes looking at you, pausing mid sip, to watch you. She offered you a smile and it was pleasantly warm like the sun on your face as it filtered through the windows, and as sweet as the tea that ran down your throat.
You raised your brows, “Do you want a bite?” you offered, holding it toward her, and she did, she held your hand by the wrist and took a bite of the toast.
You watched her pull back and wiped the corners of her lips with her thumb, bobbing her head while she swallowed. There was nothing out of the ordinary with what just occurred, but something about it made your brain lose its cool. Maybe it was how she held your wrist or the way she looked straight into your eyes while she took a bite. You didn’t know.
Her gaze then fell naturally on your lips, once you finished the toast. “You’ve got some…” she gestured to her own lips which your eyes followed, “Crumbs”
You pushed your brows up. Confused. “On your lips, honey.” your tongue innocently darted out, licking from one corner to another but still somehow missing the crumbs. Larissa’s lips fell apart. 
Without much thought, she leaned toward you, an arm reaching out and before you knew it her thumb ran across your lip, removing the crumbs. “There, you’re all clean.” 
Her eyes flickered up, meeting your gaze. You were hardly breathing but unfazed, just waiting, and waiting, your knuckles turning white as you grip the counter once more. She didn’t lean. Your jaw flexed from the pent-up disappointment.
A lot kept happening in this room and it made you wonder what sorcery it was that was causing all of this because honestly you had never been this thrilled to be in the kitchen. 
“Did you sleep okay?” Was it too obvious in your face that you stayed up all night wondering about her? That sleep seemed to be like a confusing concept for your brain because of how big and ugly your eyebags were right now?
“Not really.”
“Is there anything in particular that kept you from sleeping?” she asked with confidence like she knew what was going on in your head and she probably did with the way her eyes glitter and her voice sounded almost teasing.
You kept your gaze steady on her eyes, trying to get into her head. Trying to dissect the layers upon layers of the developed tension since last night. What was she really trying to do with you?
She had already charged you with so many emotions in just one day and maybe you were overreacting about it being so much but if what she was doing right now and how she was trying to push you was anything to go by, then you knew the answer already.
She was trying to break you by being so obvious and direct with her intention but not initiating anything beyond a few playful touches and lingering looks and it was effectively pushing you to your breaking point.
-
All her life Larissa Weems had trained herself to tread carefully, to not let herself slip out of the impeccable character she built for years because it is what’s going to protect her from anything, from anyone especially. 
But you looked so deliciously attractive it was impossible to keep her eyes off of you. The years of practice she did were nothing, easily dissolved by the desire that was brewing in the pit of her stomach, and spurred by a longing for some human contact that was anything but benign.
And you, you were so expressive with what you wanted, she was feeding off from it. You were always so expectant, drawing your lips apart and just patiently waiting for her, such a good girl she thought. And what surprised her even more was last night, when you stood there, in her room ready to attend to her needs but her head was spinning, she couldn’t do much about it and let herself be coaxed into a dreamless sleep.
“Is there anything in particular that kept you from sleeping?”
There was a longer beat of silence. Just her and you staring in each other’s eyes. 
It was hard to withhold now when the tension was too thick, both breaths heaving with anticipation on who would make the first move. And then everything was closing around, pushing you both together until your breath was hot on her skin and vice versa. Your eyes were on her lips and she could already feel it.
Just as she was about to make the move, determined to seal the gap, someone’s phone was going off. It was hers. She excused herself, for a fraction of time, she had a flash of annoyance on her face, saying something you did not understand because you were looking at her, giving her the vertical gaze and biting on your lip, internally cursing whoever was on the other line because that was it. That was the moment. 
She disappeared with hums and a series of yes and then an angry noise before you heard someone’s name being mentioned, but you contemplated if it was a name because she just exclaimed “Wednesday” with an offending tone.
You smiled to yourself, shaking your head at how you just managed to get caught in the woman’s orbit, how her presence gave you these overwhelming sensations that get your words stuck in your throat. And that was when you only realized you didn’t give her an answer.
-
In the afternoon, after the girls were picked up from school, they insisted on an afternoon storytelling, you could really say no which explained why the three of you were huddled in the small fort made of pillows, blankets and clothesline pins, in the middle of the living room.
You rambled about the beast and the blue knight. Tory and Laura were in awe. They had their eyes fixated on you with intent, their thin lips gaping. They specifically asked for the blue knight after getting tired of princesses in towers.
“And the bear roared! So loud it was deafening but the blue night stood their ground and drew their sword—“ she heard you poorly imitate a bear’s roar and she thought it was hilariously adorable.
It went on and on for the next few minutes until the story ended and the girls were so astonished they decided to re-enact the scenes they remembered, Tory as the bear and Laura as the blue night. But later, they grew tired of playing with themselves which they easily resolved by involving you and Larissa to play hide and seek.
Larissa was about to refuse the girls, she was never one to enjoy these silly games but you stepped in with your flashy smile and told the girls you’d love to play with your eyes looking at her. Larissa couldn’t do anything else by then so closed her laptop and hopped off the stool. 
For the first round, Tory was the seeker, Laura immediately bolted off, running with her little feet and disappeared. You were left with Larissa, still trying to figure out where it was best to hide.
“Seven.” Tory counted, keeping her eyes shut and forehead pressed on the wall.
“The fort.” You mouthed the other woman. Hiding in the fort would be too obvious, yes, which meant Tory, being the wisest, would go and seek someplace else paying no heed to the fort and knowing her twin like the back of her hands she wouldn’t hide there, she would opt for the most complicated hiding spots in the house and she assumed the same for the both for you.
“Nine.” You grabbed the woman’s wrist, “The fort” you mouthed once more, tipping your head to the fort’s direction.
Her initial thought was “How are we going to fit in there?” Because honestly it was too fragile to stand any big movements and Larissa wasn’t exactly built for small spaces. But her thoughts were flung out as soon as you pulled her with you ushering her into the fort.
“It’s too obvious, she wouldn’t expect us to be there.” You justified, you were determined to win against a kid. So competitive it made Larissa shake her head while grinning.
It had been years since she partook in any kind of games, and she never liked playing hide and seek even as a child. She was too big and too tall to fit in small places, she was always the first to find and she never enjoyed it. 
But something told her this was going to be different because none of the girls looked at her immediately like you did, none of them showed the same excitement and pulled her by her wrist. They all didn’t want to take her with them, she was too obvious making her an easy target which made the game less exciting.
Larissa would have appreciated to have someone like you as a kid. 
After Larissa crawled into the tiny opening of the fort, you made your own way inside. 
“Ready or not, here I come!” Tory announced, you heard her walk around, presumably surveying, trying to listen for any noise as it would indicate where anyone was.
You saw her little silhouette walking past the fort, and you held your breath, Larissa did, too. Everything about it was silly but Larissa couldn’t find it in her to complain, not when you held her hand, squeezing a little too hard, too absorbed by the game.
“That was close.” you muttered when Tory didn’t suspect anything and heard her move on to another room.  And then there was only silence, you were both looking at each other with intensified stares, the atmosphere charged with palpable attraction. 
And then it happened. You didn’t know who leaned or who pulled who, you couldn’t remember a single thing—anything, you just found yourself sitting on her lap breathless and her hands on your face, your lips caught in a somewhat hungry but gentle kiss. Both searching for something. 
You were both bursting at the seams, too exhilarated by what was happening, you both didn’t want to detangle from each other but the sound of the twins quickly approaching forced you both to stop. To come to a halt. And you did with great effort not to pull her back against you.
Larissa wiped the smudged lipstick from the corner of your lips and you thanked her bashfully, “We should probably go now.” you suggested and she agreed letting you go out first.
But Larissa, the oh so perfect Principal of Nevermore Academy, was uncharacteristically falling apart, still buzzing with the effects of kissing you. 
If kissing you would loose a screw in her brain she imagined what else could go loose if anything would escalate beyond kissing.
-
The next day, it all happened the same: play time was over and the night approached in a blink of an eye. During dinner, the twins were barely awake, too spent from the countless runnings and gigglings, Larissa decided she should put the twins to bed. While she tucked them in, you cleaned the dinner table, easy as that.
After you had everything washed and put away, you stood in the middle of the kitchen posing like a dutiful wife, you sighed, having been too tired yourself from work and flicked the lights off, ready to retire to your bed and call it a night. However, it seemed as though someone had other plans for you. 
Your back hit the wall with a soft thud, your eyes going as wide as they could be, too stunned from having been thrown against the wall.
Larissa cupped your face and crashed her lips against yours blocking your senses. Everything was muted. Nothing mattered. Immediately, your hands found purchase on the curve of her waist pulling her body flushed against you.
The expensive fabric of her clothes rubbing against your palms, and your brain instantaneously thought of how she would look without it. These perverted thoughts of a teenager dusted your cheeks red, so red from the heat of the spreading embarrassment.
The kiss started with intense longing to feel each other’s lips, to taste each other’s tongue and to feel the breaths in between and then it went  slow, and soft, and warm like a sun’s kiss. It was tender, reminding you of how her thumb glided across your lips. It was worth worshipping.
God, the feeling made your head spin, you were running out of breath but you couldn’t find it in you to care. You just wanted to take her, lavish her, devour her lips until they were swollen and pink.
Against the wall, you were pinned by Larissa as you submissively followed the blonde’s lead, giving her the control. Larissa adjusted herself more comfortably, matching your height, your lips still pressed together.
Eventually, you had to pull away. Your head found comfort on Larissa’s shoulder while you tried to catch your breath. Larissa merely watched you, a smile growing on her lips.
You felt her comb through your hair and you couldn’t help yourself but nuzzle your face further to the crook of her neck. Smelling the mix of her sweat and perfume, it lured you to drop a kiss on the moistened skin, just a light peck that could be mistaken as a mindless touch of your lips on her skin.
The fondness of the mere touch released a raging amount of serotonin in the woman’s brain, wrapping her tenderly with warmth like a blanket around her shoulder during a breezy afternoon or the feeling that embraced her after sipping her hot cocoa for the first time.
Truly, Larissa was in awe, she hadn’t been expecting to feel so…alive and cherished.
When she got out of the car and stepped into the airport and being greeted by the busy crowd, she thought she was making a big mistake. She had never left Nevermore for more than a day and it scared her how much trouble would transpire during the span of her absence, but she checked herself in nevertheless, boarded the plane and sat in her first class seat, thinking of nothing more but going back home to her beloved school. Larissa loved her nieces to death, that for sure, she would go beyond whatever extent it means to protect them but the school was her baby, it was her life.
And then you happened. You made her wish the time could go slowly and the days go longer. She wished she knew what she was doing, what the fuck was happening when she thrusted you against the wall and kissed you the moment the kids were tucked and the door was closed.
She wished she knew.
362 notes · View notes
sluttywonwoo · 2 years
Note
bestie my soul ACHES for a part 2 of this im begging pls give the sub!wonu girlies some love <3
Tumblr media
you really should get back to work, wonwoo thinks to himself. you’ve been making out in his bed for the last twenty minutes and you still have another page and a half of your study guide to complete before the weekend.
it’s not that wonwoo was complaining about the making out part, he was just… concerned— concerned about your grades and cumming his pants before you’ve even touched him, both relatively equal in their level of priority in his mind.
he doesn’t even know how you got him here. one minute you were kissing his neck, the next you were practically dry humping in his bed. again, not that he minded. he’s just confused as to how it escalated so quickly.
figures, he’d lose all sense of control when it came to you. he knew you’d ruin him one way or another.
wonwoo should have listened to that little voice inside his head that told him not to take you on as a student. he was attracted to you the moment he saw you and he knew you would prove to be a distraction… he should have let one of the other tutors have you, but then, they had all wanted you too and he couldn’t have that either.
he still remembers the way joshua took it upon himself to be the first to make an introduction, shaking your hand and flashing you that winning smile of his. thank god you ended up needing help with math and not english.
wonwoo’s shaken from his train of thought by your hand straying from his cheek to his abdomen. your fingers toy with the waistband of his jeans, knuckles brushing against the strip of exposed skin where his shirt had ridden up. you’re looking at him expectantly and wonwoo realizes you must have asked him a question.
“sorry, what?”
you grin, running a thumb under the hem of his pants. “is this okay?”
“um, yeah— i mean, no. i mean… i like it but we shouldn’t-”
you cut him off. “why not?”
“we haven’t finished your work yet.”
“so?”
“that’s an important assignment. you need a good grade on it.”
you sigh, retracting your hand. wonwoo frowns, silently pleading for you to put it back, but he knows he has to stay strong. his heart sinks even further when you push yourself up and roll off of the bed to pack your things.
“wait-”
“it’s fine, i can finish by myself.”
“i don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” he tries to say. he knows you’ll struggle when you hit the last page and the entire reason you were here in the first place was so that he could help you.
“i meant myself,” you clarify.
“what?”
“i’ll finish myself off and then come back so we can do the rest of the fucking study guide. i’ll only be gone like… half an hour?”
“are you really that desperate?” he blurts out, dumbfounded. it comes out sounding judgmental but he doesn’t mean it like that at all. he’s just shocked that you would be that forward about sex and masturbation. he’s never met anyone who talks about it so openly and it just makes you even more attractive in his mind.
you roll your eyes at him and cross your arms. “isn’t that obvious? the only reason we’re not done with the packet yet is because you’re so distracting.”
him? wonwoo was the distracting one? this is news to him. you’re not done talking, though, so he doesn’t protest just yet.
“i thought that if we did something about the sexual tension between us, it would be a lot easier to focus-”
“you’re wrong.”
your eyes widen at wonwoo’s words, surprised that he had contradicted you.
“i’ve been hard for so long it hurts,” he admits, chuckling in embarrassment. “and it’s taking every ounce of self-control i have not to give in and fuck you right this second, but, i’m holding myself back.”
“but why? if we both want it…” you trail off.
“because if we start i know i’ll never be able to stop… what makes you think that one taste of you would ever be enough?”
514 notes · View notes