#im stressed and everything is bad

[futuristichedge]

doodles

#silver #silver the hedgehog #sth fanart #sth #my art #doodles #rotating him in my mind #sometimes. a finished drawing is one thats done and not one thats the highest quality it could theoretically be #realized id rather make art and it be bad than stress myself out about something that COULD be good but requires significant time investmen #drawing more after that realization. #still not 100% happy with everything but im happier making rough/bad art than not making anything so thats what counts :) #and sometimes it turns out really nice! anyways thats it with tag talk with squig

[unicyclingdogs]

fairy rulie!!!! :)

#linked universe #lu fanart #lu hyrule #linked universe hyrule #uni art :) #the little guy!!!! #try to render clothes consistently challenge: IMPOSSIBLE‼️‼️ #every drawing i do it differently 😭 #also guys im not going to make it (wearing retainers after months of not wearing them) #like my teeth hurt so bad but I have to keep them in #like when i sleep with them I’ll wake up and take them out so I have to wear them awake 😭😭😭😭 #also I have an ungodly amount of asl homework to do 😭😭😭😭😭 #AND I NEED TO FINISB MY COLLEGE APPLICATION 😭😭😭😭 #transferring colleges is literally so stressful and for what like idk guys im fighting for my life out here and LOSING #anyways…. at least i don’t have class next week bc thanksgiving so that’s probably when I’ll get everything done #like i know I’ll manage but that doesn’t mean I’ll enjoy it 😭 #the duality of man can be seen in my tumblr post vs what I put in the tags 😭 #like it’s funny to me like my main post is like omg here’s the guy!!! 💜❤️💙❤️💜 and my tags are like I CANT DO THIS GUYS 😭 #jeeze ok this is a lotta tags I’ll stop now 👍

[why-the-heck-not]

19.12.23, tuesday

0.5h of coding lol

wasn’t having the best day so decided to finally watch the barbie-movie (it’s on hbo rn) bc figured that could cheer me up

but bc the universe loves a good timing, on the grocery store trip after, some dudes came to me like ”which one of us would u fuck?” and that annoyed me way more than it should’ve. Like cmon, it’s 10pm at a grocery store; if you’re not cottage cheese or olive oil get tf out of my face

just a short evening walk bc it was windy and I was annoyed

#also the barbie-movie; it was fine #not my favorite but I didn’t think it’d be bc I don’t rly usually go for that genre #also at this point the hype had got to me so my expectations were very unfair #the set tho; it looked so good #I love how I planned that I’d be a machine now this week so could actually not stress during christmas but it’s looking out to be like one #of the most unproductive days I’ve had all autumn lol #i’m thinking if I should just call it and start the holidays now and just idk catch up on some of the days in between christmas & new years #and I do have 8 days after new years before other courses start #but idk if I do thay I might not rly be able to chill during christmas #like rn I’m thinking if I should bring my laptop with me just in case I could squeeze a couple hours here & there during the few days #which is not the thing to do obviously; like it’s 5 days I can be apart from my laptop for 5 days #but it feels like with the amount of stuff I’ve gotten done I rly couldn’t afford a 5 day break rn #idk I’ll figure it out I won’t bring a laptop just to haunt me #(I’m bad at fully relaxing; there’s always the ’’u could be doing something productive tho’’-voice) #(which I don’t listen but then I just get nothing done and also never rly relax which is good super good) #(can u tell im still annoyed at everything rn lol sorry for the tag rant) #december 2023 #2023 #today

[4acoffee]

Burning your old homework papers with Katsuki. 

After school ends, of course. He disapproves greatly, but after a particularly difficult day, you want nothing more than to finally release your frustrations on something. To watch it shrivel up and burn. 

He always makes sure you have supervision if you’re not feeling alright, because he knows how you’re prone to being reckless when you’re alone. He also knows the feeling all too well, the pressure of overwhelming anger and frustration that builds up and threatens to tear him apart at the seams from the inside out all the time. 

As a hero, he can usually rely on his quirk to get rid of some of the stress, but he knows you don't exactly have the same liberty as him. 

You send him an abrupt text one day about burning your homework, — perfect grammar, spelling, punctuation, and he immediately knows there's something wrong. Shoots you back a quick text to wait for him and shows up at your door 10 minutes later with a scowl on his face and hands shoved inside his pockets. 

Doesn't ask any questions, just makes sure you know what you're doing and leads you to a safe spot. 

When he's satisfied with all the safety precautions, he sparks you a carefully controlled little fire with his quirk and watches as you start dropping your papers in.

There's a certain vengeance to your movements, a distraught kind of glee in your eyes that toes on the edge of tears as you watch a part of your burdens rise up into the air as smoke. He sees your shoulders shake with some emotion a few times but just lets you get it all out of your system. 

Something that you're endlessly grateful for. 

Eventually you've burnt yourself out and exhausted your supply of trauma inducing paper fuel for the fire. As the fire slowly burns out and coughs up more smoke, Katsuki draws you into a tight hug by the side of your arm. 

Your face is squished against his chest and you try to control your breathing to stop the tremors racking through your body, but he just, holds you through it. Doesn’t let go when your knees threaten to give up from under you, or when your nails dig moons into his skin from under his shirt when you grasp at him desperately. 

There’s a hundred unanswered problems that make you want to rip your hair out and scream at the world. Have someone else acknowledge them for you so you don’t have to fix them by yourself.

But you don’t, you keep them to yourself, you hold them in like you always do, like it’s expected of you. The responsible one, the calm one, the reliable one. Anticipate, don’t complain, adjust yourself. You are so fucking sick of it. 

And Katsuki still holds you through it. You have a hundred unanswered problems and he doesn’t know what they are, but he doesn’t let you go. You have a hundred unanswered problems and you keep it in, but you don’t have to keep it together. Not with him. 

#this was supposed to be a funny lil drabble #i had a rlly bad day #he will absolutely give you his notes btw if you need them later #will make sure you know this too #im so sorry this turned into a rant #stressed out about everything feels like everyone is out to get me #if you look closely you can tell exactly at which point i started spiraling #anyways #i hope this can help someone else feel better too <3 #bakugou x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x you #katsuki bakugou #coffee's fics

[emypony]

sighs

#if i died tonight after eating this mcdonalds id probably give a sigh of relief and go peacefully #im so fucking DONE crying for hours upon coming home #from work. well the remaining hours i have anyway considering i cant even cry bc i have to do everything else #cant i just catch covid come on no one in this fucking town is wearing masks JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING??????????? #im SICK #my hand has gotten WORSE and out of stress i slept bad and i lost like 40% of my body motion. #cant look up cant look down #not to the left and barely to the right at all im MISERABLE #he barely let me go home without getting on my knees to wipe down the entire place #“cause you're sick so get better yeah you're starting early on monday:)” #MAYUBE IF YOU HADNT WORKED ME LIKE A FUCKING DOG WHILE MY WRIST AND TENDONS ARE IN FUCKING PINCH I WOULDNT BE HERE

[prisonpodcast]

I’ll be honest idk if I’m going be able to make something for the 16th day event which sucks I feel bad but I’m just not in the headspace rn to draw and idk how I’ll feel by then :(

#Gonna be honest idk how I feel about everything going on rn #i thought I was certain about staying but idk what im staying for #And I’ve had a drummy ache supreme for days now and I think it may be affecting me physically #I do believe Dream is a good person and I don’t think George is a monster but also this fandom is so so bad for my mental health #every rumour or slight about a “behind the scenes” really stresses me out even if the credibility isn’t really there #I did an unfollow spree and I may unfollow more #nothing against those blogs I did enjoy following them I just want less mcyt on my dash #esp discourse lmfao like pls pls pls I don’t care what conar eats pants is saying shhhh lemme liveeeee #wont unfollow mutuals tho #esp ones I’ve had friendly interactions with #.___.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

#so ive been in a bad mental state lately #because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts) #that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own #which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them #and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too #i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful #and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing #and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas #and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom #so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset #and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?' #its not good. but i havent acted on anything #AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds #i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again #i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best #im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it #but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard #so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk #btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am #and im full of manic energy #tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room

[ghostosterone]

good lird ...

hi i didnt want to make another post for this for multiple reasons but im a trans man who is in the middle of having gender affirming surgeries basically back to back given the recovery time and i had been expecting more hours at work once i got back from having my hysterectomy (in april) leading up to having 3 more weeks off for top surgery (in june) but that very much did not happen so my last two paychecks have both been under $100 and hours i have now will be another of the same right before im going to be out. i have stuff for my car to take care of (at least gas) and would at least like to have something saved for that time so anything helps

vemo / ppal (both under ghostosterone if the links dont work)

#cat slop image were really in it now #this does feel bad but im bashing my head against the wall and sucking it up to ask for help outside of my mom who i like #owe stuff to rn anyway #everything stressing me out taking to much away from being able to enjoy the fact this surgery is finally less than a month away :\

[soldier-poet-king]

I know I have terminal insane silly brain disease and my feelings on this matter will change in probably the next 5 minutes but like

Damn I am funny and hot and generally trying to be kindhearted and good, and my teasing and flirting and emotional rambling, which is maybe Too Much at times, is still a privilege and a blessing, not a burden, to the people around me

#the duality of fran #i say teasing and flirting but its not even necessarily romantic #my flirting is indistinguishable from my platonic affection because i cant comprehend ever falling for someone who's not a friend first #dating apps??? could not be me. (reason 237384883 im single) #but anyway! i love you! if youre reading this yes you! #standing invitation to come flirt or joke or tease or yell passionately about both silly and also serious things in my inbox always #i contain MULTITUDES and tbh!!! most of them are pretty great!!! #yes everything is bad and I'm work stressed and ive had a 5 day long tummy ache and headache #and its a zillion degrees and the ac is broken and i cant wear short sleeves bc my boss hates tattoos #and id rather not have to open that can of worms with HR #and im so so so so tired and my meeting is tmrw and i havent prepped #and also im having mad scruples and idk if its like the normal flavour or it means smthn #unsettling confession dreams. i try not to read into them bc i have the connect everything to make meaning disease #and it fuels my ocd #but oh boy we live in a but what if state of being #However. maybe sometimes the but what if can be good #but what if things work out. what if love and kindness find you. what if there is joy and beauty not just despite but because of the horrors #what if all shall be well at the end of all things

[plushievash]

afraid that this was a 'waste of time'

#talks #my doodles #really sad that im so stressed i cant make anything #i really want to draw but it feels really bad #everything i draw feels boring like its not enough #so i put off my ideas and i try doing studies or try practicing through art memes #but my heart isnt in it and it becomes work again #im proud of where im at. i like the things im working on right now #but still it isnt enough. it all feels like work

[roses-and-elixir]

.

#its getting bad again #ive had nightmares nearly everyday the past week #and they seem so real like everything is blurring into reality in the mornings #this stress has just been too much im feeling it impact my physical health too #ive been so ill in January like one after the other and caught sm viruses etc from work #honestly my bodys paying for it now 😐 #i told my mum one of my dreams rly briefly when i was driving back home at 8pm and she got shook #and that was just a fraction 😭

[silenthillbunni]

lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

#idk it's just all too much to deal w #i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish #i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months #like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk #i just dont know what to do or how to handle it #im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job #im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself #i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it #idk the list just goes on and on and on #nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help #i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all #im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc #i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable #i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city #anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :(( #it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more. #so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk

[possiblytracker]

coughs loudly. scheduling this post for slightly later today so i have time to get lunch and not chicken out before it goes up

firstly i gotta apologise for dropping off the face of the earth. in hindsight it was creeping up on me for a long time I just didn't think anything of it/had enough stuff going on to ignore it for a while, but ive been wrestling with pretty abysmal mental health that just kinda hit me like a truck back in august. i wont get too much into it but things just ground to a halt and in the span of a week or so it legitimately felt like i stopped being a Person- i just stagnated, felt like i lost the ability and will to do anything or enjoy things or create like i used to, all my energy went into keeping it together in front of my family, and it made me way too anxious and ashamed and guilty to want to show my face. like who would want to put up with my stupid bullshit, right (wrong! that idea just made me unbelievably worse and i regret it extremely, but my anxiety was going extremely unchecked at this time). i don't think i've ever been that depressed before and i didn't at all know how to handle it or begin to claw my way out

fortunately, a combination of getting exercise + touching grass regularly and new enrichment/hyperfixations to latch onto like an orphaned duckling are very recently kicking some life back into me so to speak. who wouldve thought. and now where i used to still feel stomach-turning dread and paranoia thinking about getting back on tumblr and discord a week or two ago, it finally feels like i can handle dipping my toes back in. i'm making this post first bc i know most of my friends will see it, and that feels less taxing than explaining myself a bunch of different times over and over and dragging it out, but ofc i will try and get back into conversation when and as i can (askbox and discord is still best to reach me if you wanted). i'm just really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me, for making you worry or otherwise

i'm not sure what to do from here (i'm considering maybe moving main blogs to a clean slate eventually? this one will still be here i couldnt bear to get rid of it, i've just had it since i was 16 there's Baggage attached) but i'll be trying to ease my way back into relative normalcy before doing anything big ofc. in the meantime i will be vaguely floating around here again. see you around and thank you for your time..

#cryingcat.png #god i hope tumblr doesnt send out a stupid notifcation to all followers that i posted i dont know what the time limit for that is but augha #here i am tho either way #vent/ #i have missed people the entire time it is very hard to describe how stupid and cowardly it feels knowing i Could come back at any time #but also being utterly paralysed and afraid to do so. like surely i could just suck it up and i Tried but i am so so mentally unwell #i need to work on how fucked up my freeze/flight response to stress is really bad it ruins my life but i am still too unemployd for therapy #so my broke ass just has to deal with unpacking my own shit for 2 months/j #anyway the point is even tho i am getting better somewhat irl ive still been struggling to pluck up the courage to come back online #but i can't keep it up forever and completely shut down just bc it makes my anxiety superficially feel 'safer' #so here i am. feeling slightly less full of dread. bc i at very least owe it to everyone to let you all know im not dead or something idk #and i also owe it to myself to not be miserable on purpose forever!! #now i just have to get everything unmuted and wait for this to post see you on the other side

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT. #anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure. #and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone. #i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:(( #honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug. #im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

[birdinabowl]

Me verses the urges

#it’s not anything bad I just sometimes want to delete my stuff off the internet because I get way to insecure #Ehhh I’m just stressed out sorry for yapping #Like I just want to bomb my art and writing sometimes 😭😭 #Vent #I think this one person is just stressing me out way to much which make me rethinking everything ever on the internet #Im just stressed and need to sleep but at the same time i literally can’t sleep #Grahhhh :(((( #Sorry for venting 😭😭

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Every time a doctor in this fic tells Kim to manage his stress levels, while his father is literally holding him captive with Nampheung, it actually increases his blood pressure! Who'd have thought! At some point he's just going to go feral and start biting people

#cookie speaks #i just think it's a funny mental image #Evil Science Doctor: make sure you aren't too stressed! it's bad for your health! #Kim gnawing at the metaphorical bars: im going to kill everything