#im stuck in a weird feedback loop of wanting to deny myself anything even vaguely comforting

[vulcansenterprise]

vent in the tags boisss

#personal #im at a weird point where im financially stable enough to be like. FINE #but mentally im so shitty lmao #like. the person who gave me covid died so i have nowhere to direct all this fu king anger #i think one of my best friends gave up on me #we havent talked since like november??? #my roommate is talking to someone who makes me feel like dirt #and i went from a fun engaging job to one that is mostly mind numbingly boring #im stuck in a weird feedback loop of wanting to deny myself anything even vaguely comforting #and wanting to drown everything im feeling in food and alcohol #and ouid but its not legal here so like fuck me #i keep on saying i dont know how to fix everything but like. this isnt rly sonething i can fix i dont think #i know its stupid i just want gray back lmao #but it was hurting so much to not hear anything ever and i have to hold out i have to #but god all i want is to video chat with him and conplain about bee and hear him say he'd kill a man for me #hhhhhhhh #i miss people #idk where id be without noell