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ehstarwar · 4 years

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flesh stays no farther reason (2/6)

It takes three weeks for him to contact her again.

A one word text after only one night of fucking (albeit, glorious, life-altering, religion-defying fucking) shouldn’t make her heart flutter the way it does now.

Five times Ben looks for Rey and the one time she finds him.

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4.7K

Read on AO3

rank sweat of an enseamed bed

It takes three weeks for him to contact her again.

She’s just gotten home from what is, quite possibly, the most draining shift she’s had this year, when the notification brightens her phone, and subsequently, her day.

From u/KyL0_R3N

Hi.

A one word text after only one night of fucking (albeit, glorious, life-altering, religion-defying fucking) shouldn’t make her heart flutter the way it does now.

From u/R3yoflight

hey

From u/KyL0_R3N

How have you been?

From u/R3yoflight

good, for the most part

work sucks, but thats just the way it goes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hbu?

meeting go well??

From u/KyL0_R3N

I’m glad you’re doing good. Sorry about work.

I know how that can be, unfortunately.

The meeting did go well. Thank you for asking.

I’m sorry I didn’t call you after our night together.

Rey stares down at her phone, not knowing how to respond.

The morning after their night together was a point of contention in Rey’s mind. On one hand, it was a hook-up. An old-fashioned, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am hook-up that just so happened to be between two thoroughly compatible people. They had barely even talked to one another. She hadn’t made fun of his stupid, clearly made-up name, hadn’t teased him for his large ears that she found too endearing, she hadn’t even gotten his actual phone number.

But… it was so, so sweet.

The way he had handled her was not that of an impassive man looking to get off and get going. It was of someone who knew how to take care of another, who wanted to take care of her. The gentleness of his lips from the last time they kiss will forever be burned into her brain.

Part of her had expect get a call the next day, with Kylo confessing that he had the same butterfly feeling she did. After a few days past and she hadn’t received so much as a new post alert on reddit from him, she decided to push back the feelings into a tight corner of her mind that was slowly filling up with emotions she wasn’t ready to unpack.

From u/R3yoflight

it’s nbd, i know how hook-ups go

don’t feel bad

From u/KyL0_R3N

I think it is a big deal, but I know what you mean.

I would like to see you again.

Would you like to see me?

Would she? Would she even survive being with Kylo Ren again?

Rey decides its all comes down to attitude, and she’ll go in with a better one this time.

From u/R3yoflight

yeah, i would

u have another big meeting u need to prep 4?

It takes him a whole 10 minutes to respond, a first for him.

From u/KyL0_R3N

Sure.

What about the 8th?

Does that work for you?

From u/R3yoflight

i work the 7th and the 8th, but the hotel we

were at last time is p close to my job

i could meet you there and just pack stuff

for work

From u/KyL0_R3N

We can do another date so you don’t have to do that.

From u/R3yoflight

nah

i don’t want u to have to move ur meeting

so im good if ur good

From u/KyL0_R3N

Of course.

I’m good, too.

From u/R3yoflight

🤗🤗🤗

Rey bounces the ball of her foot on the hard concrete beneath her, watching the clock with rapt attention. The minutes seem to slow the further she got into the day, making the last hour and a half feel like an eon. Plutt had already barked at her to make herself useful somewhere, but there’s only so much to do when they’re down cars for the day.

The moment the clock strikes 5:30, Rey is out of the shop like a bat out of hell. She thinks about stopping in some bathroom and changing into a skirt or dress or at least some clean underwear, but she can’t bring herself to waste that much time.

She want’s to see Kylo. Desperately.

The wall she’d constructed around all her curiosities from their last meeting had come crumbling down with the promise of a second one, and this time, she was determined to know a little bit more about the man in question.

He’d sent her the room number a few hours ago, letting her know to meet him there whenever she got off work. Her mind had already begun reeling in the possibilities of tonight by that point, and it only added gas to the flame.

There’s a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead when she walks into the lobby, and a few things become apparent at once.

One, the hotel is full to the brim with people who look like they make in an hour what she makes in 5 years.

Two, she absolutely should have taken the time to change into something that wasn’t the grease-stained overalls that had seen much better days, probably long before she’s fished them out of a bin at the goodwill.

Three, the doorman (with white gloves) looked moments away from calling the cops on her.

“Excuse me, miss,” the doorman says, walking up to Rey. She gulps and prays with every fibre in her being that he’ll just inform her she dropped something and let her go on her merry way. “May I ask if you’re staying at this establishment?” His tone isn’t accusatory… yet.

“Um… sort of? I’m meeting someone,” She explains. A few of the posh guest are trying to remain inconspicuous as they attempt to hear what’s going on. It makes her cheeks burn red.

“Ah, well, the bar is downstairs and… there is a dress code.”

Rey has felt small plenty of times before in her life. This is nothing new.

“He’s in his- our room, already,” She tells him, keeping her eyes on the doorman and actively ignoring the now-open stares of the lobby. The doorman’s eyes narrow.

“Why don’t you check in with the front desk to make sure you have the correct room number, shall we?” Without waiting for her response, the man moves his arm and begins walking her to the far end of the lobby, where beautiful women in black blazers stare on at her.

“I really don’t think that’s necessary. I’ll just call Kylo and tell him I can’t-“”

“I beg your pardon?” The blood runs out of the face of the doorman. “What did you say your friend’s name was?”

“Kylo. He’s upstairs but I don’t want to bug-”

“My apologies, Miss. I had no idea that Mr. Ren was expecting guest. Allow me to escort me to your suite-”

“That’s really not necessary. I’ll just go now-”

“Rey?”

Her whole body freezes as his voice cuts across the lobby. She doesn’t turn to look at him, instead still focusing on the now queezy-looking doorman. She feels his presence come up beside her, and the warm, large hand come to rest on her lower back.

“Is everything alright?” He asks.

The doorman looks at her with wide eyes and a pleading stare.

“Everything was fine, I was just coming upstairs.” The lie rolls off her tongue and she hopes she sounds convincing. Rey finally glances upwards to look at Kylo, maybe to flash him an ill-advised smile and silently say ‘lets go please.’

It is striking just how beautiful he is, especially after so long without seeing him. His hair looks even more perfect now than she was remembering it, but Rey assumes that her imagination will never quite compete with the real thing.

“You we’re taking a while and I got nervous. I’m glad I came down when I did.” His eyes shoot over to the doorman who looks moments away from passing out, so she acts quickly.

“Well, I’m here. Let’s get going, please.” Rey takes both her hands and pushes against the solid bark that is his chest, and Kylo eventually complies, but still sending a death glare the the rest of the hotel staff.

When she’s finally pushed them into the elevator and they’re blessedly alone, Rey takes a deep breath of relief. For as poorly as that interaction went, it could’ve gone much worse.

“What did he say to you?”

Kylo’s voice is low and sends the wrong kind of nervousness to her gut.

“He was just making sure I was in the right place. He had every right to ask what I was doing here. I mean, I know how I’m dressed and how I look, so if we could just move on-“”

“No one should speak down to you, no matter how you’re dressed, Rey. It isn’t okay.”

“But it is!” She snaps. “Because I know people in the service industry are just doing what their told and that guy is probably underpaid as is and his boss would have reprimanded him if he’d said nothing, so it’s fine!”

Kylo stays silent beside her and she can’t bring herself to look at him. The elevator takes it’s time, crawling to their floor, but blessedly does not stop to board anyone else.

“You were going to leave, weren’t you?” He asks, voice suddenly much smaller than it was a moment ago.

“I just don’t want to be a problem for anybody. For you, for the doorman, for… I probably should leave, even now,” Rey admits. For an evening she was so looking forward to, it really is going sour.

Rey feels a hand come around her cheek and gently guide her to look up at him. His expression is softer now and his lips have that delicious pout that she should absolutely not be thinking about kissing right now.

“You’re not a problem.”

Kylo stares down at her with such intensity, she thinks she’ll melt right then and there.

The elevator chime breaks them from their reverie and Kylo steps out into the hallway. He holds his hand out for her, looking at her with a question. Giving her an option. You can go back down and leave right now and just remember Kylo Ren fondly for the rest of your life or you can go with him right now and see whatever else this bizarre experience will give to you, her mind says.

Rey makes up her mind and takes his hand.

She’s on him the moment he closes the door behind them. No warning, no hesitation; just Rey pouncing on Kylo. She kisses him so deeply, the way she’s thought about for the last 3 and a half weeks, that she can feel it in her toes. For his part, Kylo doesn’t seem all that surprised. He scoops her up in his arms the moment she’s between them, making Rey’s heart flutter.

He holds her up, not pinned to anything and just lets her make out with him. Suspended in air, only holding onto him, hands touching any part of him she can reach; it’s delicious.

“We should… go to… the bed…” He says between kisses. Rey whines into his mouth (why, she’ll never know).

“No… here…” She breaths against his lips.

Kylo immediately lowers them to the floor, and holds himself above her. The carpet is plush against her back and is almost softer than the old futon she’s been using as a bed for the last few years.

“You… deserve a bed…” He says, while quickly undoing the buttons to her overalls. She’s trying to help him, but her hands get distracted by the growing hardness between his legs.

“What this… here is good…” She tries to say. She’s not sure if this would make sense to anyone outside of the two of them, but she’s can’t care at the moment.

The second the last button comes undone, Kylo focuses on getting her completely bare. He practically rips off every piece of clothing on her body, until she’s left only in her tube socks. When her hands go to take them off, he stops her.

“Leave it,” Kylo orders. Rey feels herself gush.

Once she’s in the perfect state of undress, Kylo doesn’t even bother taking off the rest of his clothes. He just opens his belt and fly, taking out his beet-red cock and pumping it a few times.

“… Missed your cunt…” He says against her lips as he slides the head of his cock over her core. She’s squirming under him, trying to force him to put it inside of her. “… so tight and wet for me…and you’ll just… let me make a mess of it, huh? Let me fuck it ‘till it’s… molded to me… full of my come…”

She arches her back, pressing her chest into the coarse fibers of his shirt. His hands go to hold down her abdomen as he slides himself into her, stretching her out every bit of the way.

The drag of him makes Rey delirious; like Kylo is reaching a part of her that hasn’t existed until he came into her life. If she thought that her body would be more accepting of him since last time, she would be wrong.

“… take me so fucking well, baby…” Kylo breaths, making Rey clench. He whimpers at the sensation. Her hands go up to his neck, one holding him there and the other rubbing the shell of his ear. His whole body trembles beneath her touch. He grips the underside of her thigh, as a warning almost, before pounding into her.

Full force, no hold-backs, pounding her right into the floor. She’s sure he’ll have to tip housekeeping very well this time around.

With every stroke, Kylo make Rey feel split in two. He bumps her cervix more often than not, and her clit rubs deliciously on the metal of his belt buckle. The hard, cold metal feels so good and so rough that Rey is reduced to muffled cries and moans agains his skin.

He bites more hickeys into her chest and shoulders, deeper and harder than the ones last time. Her chest will be covered in purple marks of Kylo for a long time to come and she loves it. Her legs wrap around to his back, squeezing him. His movements become messy and uncoordinated and she knows he’s close, just from the sounds he’s making above her. Rey does nothing to stop her oncoming orgasm, just letting the feeling wash over her as she convulses beneath Kylo.

He with her the next moment, come spilling out of him like the grunts spilling from his mouth. His hips still thrust, harder and more infrequent, like he’s making his final claim on her body. She lets him manhandle her as she feels a warm, sloshing heat in her core.

Kylo rest on top of her as their breathing slows. Rey feels a twinge of carpet burn on her back and her ass but ignores it. Kylo’s hands have found their way to her sides, nearly engulfing her waist. They slide up her arms until they find her hands, and interlocks their fingers together.

He plants warm, wet kisses on her sternum, up her throat, and eventually her lips. Rey smiles into the kiss.

Then, as if called, her stomach growls so loud, Kylo stills. He pulls back to look down at her with a quirked eyebrow. She bites her lip and her cheeks would be red from embarrassment if they weren’t already red from their fucking.

“… would you like dinner?” He asks. She nods.

The wet ends of her hair tickle the back of neck, so she pushes it out of the robe. The water pressure in the massive shower was enough for Rey to sell her soul, but the burger she’s currently devouring is coming in at a close second.

After their entryway tryst, Rey had happily jumped into the shower while Kylo had ordered them dinner, assuring her that she could order both the Tomato Bisque and french fries as her side.

When she’d gotten out and into the plush robe, Rey had found Kylo on one side of the bed, some nascar race on the TV, and him biting into his too-raw-for-her-taste steak.

It was a beautiful sight.

She’s sitting at the edge of the bed, Kylo on the other side and a few feet away from her, both watching the television. It’s too quiet for how loud her head is right now, so she can’t help the word vomit that forms.

“What do you mean when you say you’re in tech?” She asks, eyes still on the television screen.

“I work in research and development for a technology company,” he tells her, unhelpfully.

“What does that even mean?” She can’t help but sound exasperated.

“My job is to come up with the next best gadget or update and figure out a way to make it work,” he says as he shifts on the bed. Rey still hasn’t looked at him.

“Must be hard to be successful in that field right now… I mean, First Order pretty much has a monopoly on any techie thing out there.”

Kylo chuckles.

“I wouldn’t exactly say monopoly… but yeah. But I still make do.”

Rey hums while chewing.

“Do you like working at an auto shop?” He asks, after a few moments of silence between them. She shrugs.

“I like fixing things, so that parts nice, but… my boss sucks.”

“Why don’t you go work somewhere else?” Rey can’t stop the sharp ‘ha!’ that escapes her.

“I’m a young, female mechanic, with no higher education degree, who’s immigration status is tenuous at best, who can barely afford her half of a shithole of an apartment. I’m not the bright, shining pupil that most places would want to take on.”

She finally looks back over at Kylo, who seems to be in thought while polishing off the rest of his food.

“If you’re struggling financially, I could-”

She cuts him off. “No. That’s not what this is about.” The burger suddenly taste like ash in her mouth, so she sets the rest of it down. “I make due on my own. I don’t need a… benefactor.” This makes him chuckle, causing Rey to give him an incredulous look.

“Sorry, sorry…” He chuckles, “It’s just… benefactor? I at least think I would be deserving the title of sugar daddy.” Rey rolls her eyes and throws a soggy french fry at him. He catches it and eats it right away.

“I don’t need a benefactor or sugar daddy. But… thank you.”

They fall silent for a while before Kylo gets up and removes the trays from their room. Rey scoots back, laying herself in the middle of the bed between the mountain of pillows. When Kylo returns, he stays at the foot of the bed, watching Rey. They say nothing, just keep heavy eye contact with one another.

Her eyes rake down his form, shirtless with some joggers on. She doesn’t see a band of underwear so she hopes that means he’s going without.

Feeling bold, she pushes herself up and craws her way across the bed to him. When she’s finally in front of him, she goes on her knees so that they’re eye level. Her hands trace the muscles in his arms and chest, dipping down to his toned abdomen. Rey feels his eyes on her face the entire time, but looks down to wherever her hands go to next.

“I didn’t get the opportunity to ride you, last time,” her eyes flick up to his, “I think we should rectify that.”

Kylo doesn’t say anything, just keeps looking at her with that intense gaze that could kill a lesser woman. His hands come up to push the robe off her shoulders, pooling around her calves and revealing her naked body.

His hands brush up her sides as they make their way to her jaw, and when he’s finally got a hold of her, he kisses her. It’s slower than any of the ones they shared earlier, and reminds her of that goodbye kiss from last time; the sweetest nectar that she’ll never be able to perfectly replicate with anyone else.

The kiss deepens and Kylo crawls into bed with her. They move until she’s situated over him, straddling his stomach. His hands kneed her ass, pushing the flesh until she’s sure it’ll bruise. She allows herself to grind on him, making his abs slick with her want. His hands suddenly let go of her, and she feels him go to push off his joggers.

Rey kisses his neck, remembering what he said in all those earlier messages about liking both giving and receiving hickeys. So she bites. He gasps.

When he’s finally naked, Rey reaches around to pull at him. He’s already so hard and dripping that Rey gets a little swell of pride. She takes him in hand once she scoots back, and holds him center with her. She glides down on him, slick enough to take him in one go.

His whole body is flushed, his lips even poutier than normal, his breath coming out in spurts.

“Why… do I aways feel… like you’re holding back… whenever you… get your cock… in me,” She asks between shallow thrust. Kylo tips his head back as his hands go to hold her hips.

“Rey… your cunt… I could fucking come right now. I don’t care if we have sex every day for the next year… your cunt is like a vice. I could come in you right now… fuck…” Rey smiles down at him, proud to see this big man reduced to the puddle he’s currently in. It’s as endearing as it is hot.

She starts to move in earnest, riding him with her whole body. She eats up the sounds he makes, his praises of ‘good girl’ and ‘riding daddy’s cock so well.’

Without her asking, Kylo brings a thumb to her clit, moving in time with her thrust, making her yelp. “Need you… to come… with me…” He breaths. Rey nods as she adjust her angle, making him hit the spot in her that’s guaranteed to get her there in no time.

Her hips can’t keep up with his thrust, so their movement become sloppy, until Kylo takes charge and starts guiding her and slamming up into her.

“… So perfect… riding my cock like a good girl… you’re so fucking hot… like this…” He says, but his praises are lost on her as she’s thrown over the edge. Rey complies into him and Kylo catches her, still pistoling his hips into her. He comes after a few more thrust, biting into her skin like last time.

Rey rides out the last of her orgasm while he’s still pulsing inside of her. Her hands still grip at his shoulders and Kylo wraps his arms around her back and hold her there. She feels the warm rush of fluids dribbling out of her, and Rey knows he can feel his own come dripping back down his cock, but he makes no indication that they need to move.

They stay like this so long, Rey cradled against Kylo’s chest, feeling so safe and warm and wanted, that she falls into the deepest sleep.

She’s groggy when she wakes. Kylo has maneuvered them so that she’s tucked under his arm, halfway covering his torso. He’s snoring lightly and the rise and fall of his chest is oddly soothing. She lays there for a while, hours maybe, but isn’t able to fall back asleep.

Rey busies herself by looking at him unashamedly. Kylo is built, to say the very least. His arms are thick with muscle, and even relaxed, his stomach looks well toned.

Why did he need to post that on reddit? She thinks. He’s beautiful. He could get anyone just off his looks, let alone his wallet.

Eventually he stirs, hands instantly seeking her out, and head going into the crook of her neck and nuzzling there. His hair tickles her, making her giggle lightly against him as he holds her even closer.

“What time is it?” He asks, voice muffled by her skin. She glances at the clock across from her.

“6:27… I’ll need to leave in an hour,” she says. Her voice is quiet and she feels a slight, almost imperceptible shift in his body language. She brings her hands up, running her fingers through his hair, hoping he’ll relax back again.

Neither of them say anything for a while, and it’s becoming very clear that their form of intimacy is best experienced in silence. It should concern her how quickly they’re forming habits. It’s probably one of the first things he wanted to avoid when making that post.

But the sound of soft rain hitting the window, the warmth of the expensive sheets, the feel of Kylo’s body pressed against hers, makes it very hard for Rey to feel sorry for anything.

They shower together, after she came up with some half-hearted excuse that it would save time and water, but he makes no sexual advances on her, so she doesn’t try and pester him. Would it be nice to end their tryst with some wet shower sex or even mutual oral? Sure, but Rey didn’t want to push her luck. She was glad enough to spend this time with him, even if neither of them were getting off.

When they’re both dry and dressed, him in a perfectly tailored suit and her in the same greasy overalls from yesterday, he takes her hand. She had been reaching for her bag, but lost momentum halfway through when he touched her.

“I… don’t want to go another three weeks without seeing or hearing from you again,” he tells her.

“You can call me? I’ll give you my number. I work usually six days a week, but sometimes I’ll have a few days off in a row, so… we can meet up then, if you’re… up for it?” She tells him. Something in his face falls, but she doesn’t quite know where to place it.

“…That would be… yeah. We should exchange numbers.”

He passes him her phone as she does the same, putting in her number with the little purple devil emoji beside it because he probably doesn’t have any emojis in his contacts and she wasn’t him to remember her. Not that she’s overly concerned with that happening, but, it’s always better to be safe.

When they exchange phones again, she looks down to see the contact he’s placed, but looks back up at him, confused.

“Ben Solo… what’s that?”

“Me… well, my real name. I haven’t gone by it in a while but… I just wanted you to know it,” he tells her. Rey’s lips tremble. You are not going to cry because he told you his real name, she chides herself. It is the absolute bare minimum to do, so you will not read into it more than you should.

“Well…” She begins, looking down at the phone again because looking in his eyes is too much right now, “It is a very nice name. Certainly more realistic than Kylo Ren.”

Ben has the wherewithal to look a little sheepish at her teasing. He brings a hand through his hair and smiles at the floor.

“It was something I liked when I was a teenager and became too rebellious for my own good. It was my first aol email,” He says. Rey laughs as she imagines a gangly 13-year-old Ben running home to his computer every day after school and changing his AIM status to some moody-angst ridden lyric of a bad he thought was too cool for mainstream.

When the laughter dies down and Rey is able to look at him without bursting into giggles, she thanks him.

“Thank you for last night. And for… telling me your name.” He smiles at her, and puts a hand on her jaw, tilting her head further up. Before he can bring her into another soul-melting kiss, she speaks again.

“Ben is a very nice name but… I think I prefer calling you daddy.”

His grin is wolfish.

#reylo #rey #kylo ren #ben solo #daisy ridley #adam driver #sw #starwars #fanfiction #fan fic #smut #fluff #fsnfr #chapter 2 #my work

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sad-sweet-cowboah · 4 years

Text

My Little Secret part 7

Summary: With Arthur’s secret uncovered, you’re opened up to a whole new world. Your mind says it’s dangerous to stay with him, but your heart says otherwise.

A vampire. A freaking vampire. The words echoed in your mind though heavily bogged down in the tendrils of your subconscious.

You kept replaying the conversation in your mind. The first thing you’d felt was wild disbelief. He had to be pulling your chain in an excuse for his absurd behavior. The blood that streamed down his mouth was telling you otherwise. The next thing you’d thought was the first question you’d asked.

“Are you gonna kill me?”

“No!” Arthur had exclaimed, appearing absolutely taken aback as if horrified you would even suggest that. “No, Y/N,” he’d glanced back at the victim, who still appeared high as he stared up at the sky with a look of wonder. “I know it all seems crazy. I can explain it if you’ll let me.”

Every instinct told you to run and don’t look back. Call the police perhaps, get yourself as far away from this crazy man as possible. Instead against your better judgment, you stayed rooted in the spot. Fear racked your entire body, but the curiosity outweighed it on the scale by just an ounce. As stupid as it was, you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

You’d watched as he wiped the blood streaks from him and the other man with a handkerchief before tucking it into his pocket. He then spoke to you again, asking you to stay put by the front of the restaurant while he went back in to pay for your meal. Despite everything that just happened in the past five minutes, he still kept to his word.

Now you were sitting behind the wheel of your car, keeping your eyes on the road while he sat next to you. He asked to ride with you and for some reason you accepted. Neither of you spoke. The conversation kept replaying in your mind, over and over. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t real.

He was the first to break the silence. “You didn’t run away.” He murmured.

You could have, and you should have. You took a deep breath and forced yourself not to look at him. “Think I could outrun a vampire?” you hissed with more acidity than you intended.

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched his lips twitch. He didn’t want to grace the answer, and you knew it anyway. “You have every right to hate me, to be afraid. I don’t blame ya.” He instead stated.

“But here I am, sitting next to you when I should have ran,” you mumbled. “You offered to explain, so I’m listening.”

He nodded, tilting his head low as if he were contemplating on his next words. He sighed – you wondered if that was even necessary – and looked at you.

“I am a vampire,” he started. “All them legends that everyone thought was all hogwash, they’re all true. I’m undead. I sleep durin’ the day and awake for the night. I burn in the sunlight, and I drink blood.”

“A monster.” You murmured.

“Yes,” he was quick to agree, his tone solemn. “A monster.”

You swallowed this information all at once, your head absolutely brimming with it. All those prior thoughts of this man had suddenly washed away. You were sitting in the belly of the beast with someone who could kill you at an instant. These could very well be your last moments on Earth. Were you about to fall victim to a being that seemingly only existed in horror movies?

A wave of dizziness encompassed you and your stomach twisted uncomfortably. You swallowed hard and pulled over, willing yourself not to vomit all over your dashboard. You gripped the steering wheel so hard your knuckles turned white.

Y/N?”

You closed your eyes, willfully pushing down the nausea. You drew in a few ragged breaths and looked at him fully, finally.

He held genuine concern in his face, his blue eyes reflecting gold from the streetlight above. He had a frown set on his lips, his pale skin held a slight pink flush to them. You weren’t sure if it was because of the lighting, or was it because he just…

You couldn’t even bring the word to your mind.

“I can’t wrap my head around it,” You admitted. “You’re not even human – you’re a predator! I just saw you sucking the life outta some innocent –”

“I only took how much I needed,” he interrupted. “And he ain’t innocent. Far from it.”

You gave him a look of confusion. “What?”

“He was gonna go, er, take advantage of his date…” Arthur explained, appearing uncomfortable with the words. “I heard ‘im talkin’ ‘bout it to a friend o’ his. Stopped it before he got too far.”

Your brow furrowed. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I only ever feed on those who have less than innocent intentions,” he continued. “Don’t have to feel guilty that way.”

“You’re a vampire and you feel guilt?” you said incredulously. “I find that hard to believe!”

Arthur’s lips pressed into a thin line, his gaze hard. “I still feel every emotion a human can, Y/N. I promise you that. I can’t bring myself to feed on someone innocent.”

You couldn’t help but to scoff. The more he spoke, the harder it was to really believe anything he was saying. You thought back to shared moments with him, how soft and gentle he was when he kissed you. How much of a gentleman he was earlier that night. Memories battled hard with the present. Everything seemed to be conflicting with one another so much that your head began to ache from thinking about it. Was it all just a ruse to have you become his next victim?

“I know it don’t sound truthful,” he sighed. “Hell none of it does. I didn’t want ya to find out so soon –”

“So soon?” you repeated. “How long would have this gone before you decided to tell me?”

“I don’t know,” he groaned, pulling his palm down his face. “I jus’…like ya so much, didn’t really think if it ever came to this point. Stupid o’ me, I know. Maybe I shouldn’t o’ bothered tryin’ to get closer to ya n’ save both of us the trouble.”

You stared at him, just listening to his words. Each and every encounter with him spiked up in your mind, a vivid memory that gave you more pleasance than anything else. Sure he seemed weird at first, yet he always portrayed himself as a true and proper gentleman.

His eyes met yours. “Listen…if you don’t want anything else to do with me, I’ll be okay with that. I’ll leave and you’ll forget I ever existed.” He spoke with an even tone, though you could detect something else behind it. Sadness? Regret?

You inhaled deeply and considered his offer. You couldn’t truly forget about him, how would you even erase an actual vampire from your memory and pretend all was normal? It was physically and cognitively impossible. It also meant he was most likely not the only vampire in existence. It would only open you up to a deeper world of curiosity and awareness.

A curiosity that still burned bright through every other emotion you were feeling right now. It mixed with the conflicting feelings for him. You liked him too, still even after tonight. You liked the man he made himself to be. The man who fiercely protected you from assault. The man who wanted to take your relationship slow and not tackle it head-on. The man who offered to pay for your meal and drinks on the first date.

Was he really considered a man at this point?

The same being was in front of you, devoid of human life and had just sucked blood from someone else. Surely your feelings toward him would have changed in that moment, but they hadn’t. The thought of him disappearing seemed less desirable than him sticking around with a heavy-weighted secret now out for you.

“Arthur,” you began slowly. “I…don’t want you to go.”

He stared at you in surprise.

“Maybe I’m stupid too,” you laughed humorlessly, running your fingers through your hair. “I don’t know – but I started to fall for someone – you – because you’re…so different than anyone else I’ve ever dated.”

Arthur shook his head as a rueful smile crossed his face. “I ain’t that special, Y/N.”

You gave him a deadpan stare. “You’re a goddamn vampire, Arthur,” you watched him scoff. “You already have an advantage on all of my exes. Regardless, you’re…kind of like a breath of fresh air. Sounds weird but…” you rolled your shoulders in a shrug. “Just don’t wanna give up, I guess.”

“I will do whatever you’re comfortable with, Y/N,” he said. “If ya really want me to stay, then I’ll stay.”

You really were stupid.

“I do.” You said with a stubborn defiance. “But I want to talk somewhere other than my car. Can we go to my house?”

Arthur shrugged. “I got all night.”

---

You’d pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex not too long afterward. He kept a small distance as he followed you to your place, and you were very aware of his eyes on you. It felt as if you were being watched by an apex predator just waiting for a moment of weakness. It nearly sent shivers up your spine. Arthur however offered no indication that he would even try anything. You stepped up to your door and was in the process of unlocking it when a thought popped up into your mind. Turning around to face him, you met his gaze.

“Hey, is it true that…you can’t come into households unless invited?” you asked him.

He nodded. “Pretty much, but you invited me in last time I was here.”

“So if I were to kick you out, you wouldn’t be able to come in right?” you continued carefully.

“Yes,” he said hesitantly. “Hope it don’t come to that.”

The better part of your mind continuously rang alarms to distance yourself away from him as much as possible. The fear of the unknown was at the forefront of everything else. Yet that was the point of this, to understand him better. He was respectful enough to give you the option to leave, and you assumed it would remain should you become more uncomfortable.

You were satisfied with his answer and opened the door fully. The room flooded with light as you flipped the switch. Last time he was here, he was helping you recover from that nasty encounter with Tom. That seemed eons ago now.

The two of you sat at your small kitchen table, placed across from one another. Arthur had his hands folded on top, waiting patiently for you to begin. A myriad of questions rose in your head and you weren’t sure where to even start.

“You’re not the Saint Denis killer, right?” was the first thing that came out of your mouth, recalling the news report from earlier that day.

“No, absolutely not.” He denied immediately. “There are other vampires who like to drain humans jus’ for the fun of it. I ain’t into that.”

“Then do you know who they are?”

He shook his head. “Nah. I assure you I ain’t affiliated with them either.”

His answer lightened the apprehension that settled heavy in your stomach. You weren’t exactly sure to believe him, yet you could sense truth in his words. “Would…would you ever drink my blood?” you asked next.

“No, not unless you wanted me to,” He replied. He noted your look of disgusted bewilderment. “When we bite humans, it feels good to ‘em.”

You shook your head at that. You couldn’t imagine any situation where that would feel remotely good. “So you only suck blood from, uh, bad people?”

“I try to.” he mumbled.

“And that man you were…feeding from earlier…he looked high. Was that from the bite or…?”

“Nah, I glamored him.”

You tilted your head. “Glamored?” you repeated. “What’s that?”

“Kinda like hypnotizin’,” Arthur explained as he leaned forward on the table. “All vampires can do it. I usually glamor those I feed on so they don’t remember what happened. It also throws them off their harmful intentions.”

You hadn’t expected an answer like that. Vampire hypnotism? “Have you ever glamored me?” you suddenly asked.

Arthur shifted in his chair, his eyes leaving yours to stare at his hands for a moment. He looked rather hesitant. “Yes,” he finally said. “First night we met. You found me feedin’ on some fool who was about to attack someone. Had to glamor you so you wouldn’t remember it.”

Realization hit you like a brick wall. No wonder your memories were so foggy of that night, and why you had no leftover injuries from supposedly hitting your head. “Jesus,” you murmured, rubbing your forehead. You detested the mere thought of having your memories forcefully stripped and leaving you in a state of confusion. Simultaneously you were relieved to not remember that moment at all. “Don’t do that again, please. That’s too freaky.”

Arthur nodded in understanding.

You began to think again as you mind slowly processed all the new information given. “So why just bad people?” you asked. “Are you some sort of vampire cop?”

Arthur chuckled at your response. “Nah, thought I do somethin’ right in my afterlife after livin’ a life of death n’ bloodshed.”

Death and bloodshed. What kind of life did he even –

Wait.

You stared at him with scrutiny, observing every inch of his face. You had his face memorized by now of course. You mentally traced your footsteps back to another face. That day in the library surrounded by newspaper clippings of gangs and outlaws. A face that was practically identical that you’d assumed was just a relative. Not a relative, but the same person.

Could this really be the same person? The gang member and outlaw you’ve learned about?

“Wait a minute, are you who I think you are?” you asked.

“Depends on who you think I am.” He answered, though his face held a knowing look as if waiting for you to say it.

“You’re…” you trailed off. You were certain this was him, you had to be. It was too big of a coincidence for him to not be. “You’re Arthur Morgan, the outlaw.”

He nodded as a dry smile crossed his face. “Former outlaw actually. But I am one in the same.”

Your eyes would have popped out of your head from how hard you were gawking at him. Your jaw fell open and no words could form to even express your surprise. You were staring at a piece of history, a man who walked in the times of the Wild West. Just days ago you were reading about him and his gang, and how he seemed to disappear in the folds of time.

But here he was, sitting in your kitchen.

“Holy shit.” You finally uttered, flopping back against your chair. Somehow it was even more shocking news than learning that he was a vampire. “That’s…incredible.”

“Wouldn’t say that,” he chuckled without humor. “My life was the opposite o’ incredible.”

A million different words and questions whirled in your mind, and you however were rendered utterly speechless once again. You couldn’t even begin to think of the next thing to say. Finally your mouth moved, muttering a sentence that seemed to be disconnected from your brain. “I’m dating a century old outlaw.” You lifted your eyes to meet his.

Slight amusement crossed his face. “’Spose you are, Y/N. You seem more surprised by that than me bein’ a vampire.”

“Well I’m a history buff!” you blurted. “I can only learn so much – but you, you’ve lived it!” your voice shook with excitement.

Arthur took a deep breath, his face melting into a solemn expression. “Like I said, ain’t as incredible as ya think. You can read ‘bout it, watch those spaghetti Westerns n’ shows…none of it does justice.” He shook his head.

Before either of you could speak again, a shrill chime of a phone filled the air. Arthur reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He glanced at the screen and grimaced, shoving it back into his jacket. He sighed and looked at you again, an apology clear on his face. “Gotta cut this night short.”

Disappointment radiated through you. Riddled with so many more questions and curiosities, you spoke, “Is it your boss?”

“Unfortunately,” he groaned, pushing back from the table to rise to his feet. “Sorry sweetheart. So much for a night off.”

You frowned slightly, swallowing back a sigh as you stood up as well. It would be selfish to ask him to deny and stay with you longer. Hell, you didn’t even know what kind of job he had. If he worked nights only then it definitely worked in his favor. “Does your boss know you’re a vampire too?” you asked.

“I work for a vampire specific employer,” he spoke, and continued as you opened your mouth. “That’s all I can say.”

You shut your mouth and nodded. You fell in step with him as you exited the kitchen. “I do have other questions.” You remarked, stopping just before the door.

Arthur turned to face you, a small smile appearing on his lips. His hand reached up to hover over your cheek. He was hesitant to touch you after a tumultuous evening. Even you yourself were still unsure on how this will ride out in the end.

However, you did tell him you were willing to try. And try you must. You leaned into his touch, his cool hand felt soothing against your warm face. Relief sparkled in his eyes.

“And I’ll answer ‘em to the best of my ability next time, Y/N. I promise that.” He murmured to you.

“I work tomorrow night.” You said, sliding a subtle hint that you hoped he caught.

He smoothed his thumb across your cheek. “Then maybe I’ll indulge in some alcohol.” He joked softly. He leaned in to press a tender kiss to your lips.

#Arthur Morgan x reader #vampire!Arthur #vampire au

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ahs-honey · 5 years

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Lost and Broken, Found and Whole. (Goode-Day) One Shot.

A/N: so, this is reallllyyy long, hence why it took me so long to write. im sorry about that, you guys ! i know some of you may not like reading character x character, and thats okay ! i am still working on some character x reader one shots which will be out soon. bare with me, please.

Summary: basically the scene we deserved to see after misty returned from hell !

Warning: get some tissues and something / someone to HUG, this is really sad / fluffy and im not sorry about it :) (slight TW as there’s mentions of dark thoughts / feelings / struggles)

For what seemed like the hundredth time tonight, Misty rolled over in her disheveled bed, changing position as she frustratedly kicked the duvet away from her. Why was this happening to her? Had she not been through enough? The Cajun simply couldn't fall into slumber for the life of her. Sleep was never this hard.

Misty glanced over at her wooden bedside table, eyes scanning the bright, digital numbers on the fancy clock Cordelia had so kindly given her, after re-teaching her the art of telling the time. 09:32pm. The blue-eyed witch sighed. In reality, it wasn't really that late. However, it was late for Misty Day, who had, quite literally, been through Hell and back just recently.

Turns out, leaving Hell wasn't everything the wild-haired witch thought it would be. Of course, it was better than being stuck in a torturous loop of terrifying events — better by miles, eons — but life on Earth just wasn't as Misty once knew it.

Broken; that's what she thought of herself. Lost; that's exactly how she felt. Both, her mind and her heart, used to be the epitome of purity and innocence. Misty was childlike — her soul was forged from the most pristine dust, and she never once came close to tainting it's celestial glow. Not until Hell, that was. Even then, Misty fought demons away daily as darkness attempted to pave it's way inside her frail body and leave its mark. And leave it's mark, it did.

Even though the Cajun had physically resurfaced from the ocean of torment and distress, there wasn't a day that went by where she didn't feel like she was drowning in the darkest, most unnerving thoughts and feelings. Misty didn't think her soul could handle it for much longer. Broken, she thought again, because although Hell seemed to lack in fire, it certainly didn't fail to rain on Misty, showering her in anguish and misery, fueling her with trauma after trauma till it was all she knew. And unfortunately, those complications only seemed to follow her back into reality, intensifying day-by-day. Misty felt sick to her stomach at the pain-filled thoughts shooting through her exhausted brain. She rolled over onto her back, taking a deep, calming breath before allowing her eyes to flutter shut once again. Fear. That's all she felt. Misty was frozen with it — completely paralysed. Her bones were vibrating with overwhelming fright, yet she couldn't do anything. Not even when her frail wrist was gripped and her shaky hand was forced to slice into the helpless animal in front of her. The blue-eyed witch tore open her weary eyes, now wide and doe-like. No, sleep was definitely not going to work tonight — not when her own, worn-out mind was betraying her. Lost. I feel so lost, Misty thought, panting slightly in raised panic. She briskly sat up, swinging her toned legs over the side of the bed and perching on the edge of the mattress, gathering herself together. The moonlight drizzled down from the pitch-black sky, kissing Misty's pale skin as she gazed out of the open window, wishing she could tell the stars all of her worries. It was silly. The moon always gave Misty a sense of comfort, reminding her of everything she loved about being alone out in the wilderness — more specifically, her swamp. Oh, boy. If a falling star happened to dance across the sky right now, Misty's only wish would be to be back in her cozy shack, surrounded by the familiar sounds of wild animals, the bubbling of the musty swamp water, and the ticking and buzzing of the insects. There, nothing ever seemed to matter. It was just Misty, the animals and the moon against the world. That was home. Was. Because apparently, it wasn't anymore. It didn't feel like it, anyway. Misty couldn't currently think of anything worse than wandering the Earth alone. A gust of wind touching her skin was enough to make her flinch, and the sound of a twig snapping under her boots made paranoia seep into her bloodstream. God forbid she'd catch sight of an animal. She couldn't even bare to be near them. Misty wasn't good — she hurt animals — she was dangerous. So was the Earth, and Misty wasn't prepared to risk her life again. Not even for the sweet birds that most likely needed her helpful magic, or the playful 'gators that were probably wondering why she hadn't come to talk to them in a while. The Cajun roughly shook her head, wiping the lone tear that managed to slip down her pale cheek as it gleamed in the moonlight. Broken, broken, broken. Everything Misty used to once do with ease, now brought upon her waves and waves of anxiety which only crashed against her fragile soul, gradually tearing pieces of it away. That was it, right? Anxiety? Cordelia had explained the word to her one night in the Greenhouse, many moons ago now, after an unbelievably tiresome day at the Academy. Misty never forgot it — she never forgot Cordelia. And as far as Misty was aware, Cordelia never forgot her either. Though things were just not the same as they once had been, and Misty, more than anything, disliked that the most. Conversation now had difficulty flowing between them when it used to run like warm honey. Sure, they exchanged a few sweet words and loving gestures, but that's not what Misty needed. Lost. She felt lost, and she needed to talk. She needed Cordelia. As the enticing thought swirled through her drowsy mind, Misty caught it with all her might, deciding that it was going to be the final one for now. She didn't even allow herself the time to rethink or back-pedal, knowing that there was no other option than to follow what was left of the light inside of her, and the light inside of her was currently screaming Cordelia's name, pushing Misty off of the bed and forcing her to slip out of the room. She tiptoed down the silent hall, listening to the sound of her own heartbeat drumming in her ears. The Academy looked abandoned, deserted, empty of souls. Misty worried that Cordelia was already asleep, or even worse — that she was gone. However, as the Cajun began inching towards the Headmistress' bedroom, she caught sight of the faint light inside the room, spilling through tiny cracks and seams in the door. Not alone. Not lost. Misty blew out a relieved sigh. The need to be surrounded by Cordelia's presence quickly began to grow inside Misty's veins, and so she swiftly pressed her knuckle on the white wood, knocking as quietly as possible. Misty waited until she heard a soft, "Come in," before warily opening the door. Much to the swamp witch's surprise, Cordelia was still very much awake; her slender fingers were carefully wrapped around a thick book as her eyes scanned the pages with fascination and interest, glasses sat comfortably on her nose. At the sound of the door falling open, Cordelia turned her head, watching as Misty sheepishly slipped through the entry-way. It took all of the Supreme’s strength to stop herself from crying out in sheer relief. The woman had been so worried about her dearest Misty, not knowing how to truly deal with her return from Hell. Eventually, Cordelia decided it was best to give the younger witch time, hoping that she, herself, would open up to the Headmistress when the time felt right. By the looks of it, the time was right now. Cordelia could still read the Cajun with little effort, and though Misty's demeanour seemed shy and almost guarded, the older woman knew that the witch was here to talk. Finally. "Is everything ok, Misty?" Cordelia softly asked, watching the tense witch from across the dimly-lit room. "Yeah . . . Well, no. I - I can't sleep," Misty quietly informed the Supreme, feeling slightly embarrassed now that she was here. She could've just tried a spell or somethin'! Cordelia only sent the Cajun a soft smile in reply before peeling her white, plush duvet open and tapping the silk-covered spot next to her. This used to be their thing.

Smiling gratefully, the Cajun ushered over to the bed, climbing in before covering herself with the lavish bedding. She fondly watched as Cordelia closed her book, gently dropping it onto the bedside table, followed shortly by her glasses. The two witches shifted around till they were both comfortable, mirroring each other as they sunk back into the plush pillows, leaning on their sides ever so slightly, eyes sharing longing gazes. Misty's eyes — Cordelia could swear that they were the most incredible sight she'd ever seen. The Cajun's eyelids were a canvas, outlining the pure art that was buried deep in her blue hues. It was only right to admire the art. The Headmistress smiled gently at the thought. Misty noticed. It was impossible not to. Right now, it was just her, Cordelia and the words that had been left unspoken since the beginning of time. The swamp witch attempted to return the sweet gesture, yet the corners of her lips fell quicker than they could rise, as the poor attempt to feign happiness only hurt Misty's heart further. She wasn't happy — she was lost, broken. And she couldn't pretend anymore. Not with Cordelia.

The Supreme furrowed her eyebrows for a brief moment, not missing Misty's heartbreaking efforts for even a second, yet she swiftly brushed the frown away, deciding to play a calmer, softer approach. After all, Misty had just gotten out of Hell — she was fragile beyond belief. Cordelia wanted nothing more than to pull the younger witch into her arms and tell her everything was going to get better, but she knew that wasn't what Misty needed. What Misty needed, was to be eased back into reality. Cordelia was willing to do anything to help her feel whole again. The devastating sadness in Misty's eyes was more than alarming. Cordelia could see it all too clearly. It was practically seeping out of Misty with every exhale, every little movement, every look. Torn; that's how the younger witch looked — completely broken apart. The Headmistress couldn't deny that she felt the same; every piece of her was itching with the need to hold Misty in her arms, to feel that she was real, to cry and tell her how missed she was — how sorry Cordelia is, and how she swears to protect the younger witch with her entire being. However, deep down she knew that this wasn't her moment to have. Misty needed this. Cordelia observed the swamp witch with gentle eyes, taking note of every single detail like a beloved painting; her fine eyebrow hairs, which neatly grew darting towards the same direction. Her ocean blue eyes, which harboured the slightest dash of brownish / gold around the very pupils. The peach fuzz on her rosy cheeks and the very tip of her chin. The two, faint wrinkles engraved into the skin on her forehead, and the ones running near her mouth, reminding Cordelia of the younger witch's heavenly smile. Misty was magnificent. Cordelia felt herself needing to memorise every atom belonging to the pale-skinned witch. Tilting her head slightly to the side, the Headmistress studied Misty in thought, wondering what was going through her mind. Why wasn't she blessed with the power of Clairvoyance? How terribly inconvenient. "What's on your mind, Misty?" Cordelia softly threw the thought out into the world, not wanting to startle the witch who's eyes were dancing around the room, looking for the answers to her own questions in all of the cracks and crevices in the building. Nothing. She was lost. "I can tell something is bothering you, darlin'," the Supreme’s worried tone rang through the room again. "Talk to me, please." Misty's gaze landed back on Cordelia after a few seconds, and the older witch felt a shiver slide down her very spine at the sight of the Cajun's glossy, dead eyes. It felt like she was looking right through the Supreme, completely out of touch with reality. Broken. Broken and lost. Lost and broken. Misty, without blinking her teary eyes or moving a muscle, spoke with a voice so monotone that it sent a dark vibration of energy through the room. "I don’t know how to function anymore." Cordelia couldn't help the pull of the muscles as her eyebrows knitted fully this time. Fear fell upon her skin like rain on a cloudy day, leaving her confused and afraid all at once. She warily reached over to Misty, brushing the wild wisps of hair away from her face in attempt to slowly ground her. "What do you mean by that, Misty?" She calmly asked, swallowing the unnerving feeling stuck in her throat and focusing on the Cajun's words as she continued to mindlessly play with her hair. "I think Hell broke m-me," Misty's voice cracked, and as she allowed her eyes to delve deep into Cordelia's soul, she could almost see the pain being mirrored back at her for a second. Lost. It forced her to look away just as quickly. Her tongue pricked with the need to ask why Cordelia looked so full of suffering, too. Was it because of her? Misty didn't know, and she wasn't given enough time to find out before the Supreme diverted the witch’s attention back into the real world. "Hey, sweetheart, look at me," Cordelia perched up in worry, cupping Misty's cheek as if it was a reflex. It was hardly a reflex. She hadn't touched Misty in months. But it felt so right — so easy. Misty, herself, couldn't help but melt into the touch, closing her eyes as she took a calming breath, feeling her own heartbeat steady itself at the skin-to-skin contact. She hadn't felt warm skin in months. Cordelia's eyes glazed over in a sheet of worry. "Misty, honey, I need you to look at me," she gently repeated, concern woven deep into her words as she scanned the Cajun's face. This time, the blue-eyed witch obeyed. Pain-filled eyes met panicked ones in a longing gaze as they spoke in a language that could not be heard. Misty's vision was soon blurred with hot tears, as the singular thought of worrying Cordelia made her feel sick with herself. She didn't even know how to help the older witch — how could she? She couldn't even help herself. She was broken. "You aren't broken, honey," Cordelia spoke with a seriousness overflowing her words. Misty almost choked at the statement, her own eyebrows furrowing as she wondered if Cordelia had read her mind, or if she simply knew her that well. The Supreme was well aware that Misty was far, far away still, and so she stroked the Cajun's cheek with her thumb, repeating her statement. "I'll say it again, darlin' — you, Misty Day, are not broken." Cordelia softly sighed before continuing, "you went through something unspeakable, and it's going to take you a while to heal from that, but that doesn't mean that you're going to feel like this forever." The Headmistress paused for a few seconds, because although her heart wanted to scream out loud, she truly didn't think words could do her justice in this moment. However, words were all that Misty was currently able to handle — if that — and so, with a brave facade and a shaky voice, the Supreme continued, "I - I can't begin to imagine how it must've felt to have been stuck in Hell for so long, b-but you're not there anymore, honey. You know that, right? You're here, with me, and you're safe. I promise." A single, lazy tear slid down Misty's cheek, not putting up a fight as Cordelia's thumb briskly brushed over it. The older witch's heart broke at the sight, yet a part of her felt relieved Misty had heard her words. She was here and she was ok. Cordelia dropped her hand back onto the bed, listening to the swamp witch intently as she opened her mouth to speak. "I - I was s-so scared all th-the time, De," the Cajun's shaky voice danced through the room and Cordelia both, melted and broke, at the sound of it. De — the Headmistress couldn't even remember the last time she had heard the nickname so loud and clear. She had repeated it over and over in her mind, but this wasn't her mind — this was real. Misty was real. Cordelia ignored the swarm of butterflies erupting in her stomach as she carefully took ahold of Misty's two hands, running her thumbs along the soft skin as she spoke. "I know, Misty, I know." Sincerity was tied in each word — each breath, and every look and touch and movement. Because Cordelia knew. She felt it — she lived it. "But you don't have to be afraid ever again, ok? I promise you, I'm going to do everything in my power to get you feeling better again — whatever it takes, sweetheart, I'm willing to do it." She meant it — Cordelia meant every word. She always did when it came to Misty. "I'm here for you . . . The Coven, Stevie — even your alligators are here for you," The Headmistress half-joked, smiling in relief as Misty blew out a breathy chuckle. The swamp witch was sinking in and out of reality, fighting with her mind every second of every day, yet with Cordelia being here, everything felt a little easier. She sniffled before looking up and meeting Cordelia's chocolate eyes — still so full of worry and pain —, sending her a careful, sad smile as she gave the Supreme's hands a small squeeze of reassurance. She was here and she was ok. "I can't thank you enough for everythin', Delia." Misty’s eyes darted down at her two hands, wrapped in the warmth of Cordelia's own. "No ones ever cared for me like this before . . ." Tingles danced through her skin as the swamp witch felt a sudden rush of hyper-awareness overwhelm her. So much touching, pet names and sweet gestures. She missed this. The Supreme's eyes, too, fluttered down, but not for the same reason as Misty's — no, not at all. Because although Cordelia had yearned for this exact moment since she could remember, she couldn't help but feel nausea rise as the unspoken words bit at her skin like a swarm of ants. The air felt like it was suffocating her with every second that she allowed to pass, and so, Cordelia took a deep breath before looking back into Misty's — now curiosity-filled — eyes. "You don't have to thank me, sweetheart. It - It was m-my fault after a-all . . ." The Headmistress swallowed thickly. With each spoken word, her heart was unlocking all of the feelings she'd buried deep inside. It took months for the older witch to push her pain away, and here she was — a mere few days after Misty's return —, allowing herself to feel vulnerable again. "Misty, I'm so, so sorry for what I made you do. I should've-" "Hey, now," Misty cut the rambling woman off with a warning tone, yet a soft smile washed over her pale, milky skin as she continued speaking, "listen, if I've gotta stop thankin' ya, then you've gotta stop apologisin', De," Misty spoke calmly. "I've lost count of how many times you've already told me you're sorry, and I keep telling ya', you're forgiven." The swamp witch shifted so that her whole body was directly facing Cordelia. She took a gentle grip of the older witch's right hand, bringing it up to her rosy lips before pressing a soft, forgiving kiss to her knuckles. Oh, wow. The gesture meant more than anything Misty could say to Cordelia, yet the blue-eyed witch — feeling highly unaware — continued, "I don't blame ya’ at all, ya’ know that, right?" She asked seriously, scanning Cordelia's face with worried eyes.

The Supreme could only nod in reply. Her throat felt so dry, it was as if all air in the room had disappeared. Her lungs were screaming for it in fact, yet she failed to react altogether, basking in the soothing feeling of having Misty so close to her again. The swamp witch smiled sweetly at the Headmistress, and Cordelia could easily tell that she had already gotten all of her words out. Maybe Misty didn't need to talk after all. Maybe she needed to be spoken to instead. Maybe it was Cordelia who needed to finally release her deeply buried feelings and emotions.

A wave of uneasiness brought goosebumps to the surface of Cordelia's pale skin like bubble wrap. She couldn't lose Misty. Not again. The older witch didn't think she could leave her for even a second now. And truthfully, she didn't want to.

The room was brushed in a swift shift of energy, causing Misty to raise a curious eyebrow. That wasn't her doing. As the Cajun's ocean eyes found Cordelia's chocolate ones, she couldn't help but feel drawn to the sudden darkness within them. There was something Cordelia just wasn't telling her. She released the gentle hold of the older witch's hand, snapping the woman out of her trance immediately. Misty got comfortable, aware that there was still a lot left to be said. "Ya’ know, De, I'm here for ya’, too," she softly informed the Supreme. Her wide, doe eyes were speaking for themselves; Cordelia could see the deep concern tightly packed inside the shades of blue from where she was sat, and she sighed heavily at the sight.

The Headmistress hardly ever struggled to communicate what was on her mind. She found it so easy to be open with Misty. It was mainly why they got along so well — they trusted each other with their darkest, deepest thoughts. But Cordelia hadn't ever shared a thought this deep. She licked her lips. Misty was there for her — she knew that. After all, the swamp witch was the only one to ever say that and truly mean it. Screw it. What did Cordelia have to lose anyway? Only Misty, and she wasn't going to let that happen ever again.

"Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me, Misty," Cordelia finally admitted out loud, and just like that, her heart flung open and unleashed the pain she'd been burying inside for so long. "I c-can't g-go through th-that a-again."

A weight eased off of her shoulders, leaving her body with a final tremble. Her heart poured all of her troubles out of her chest, and Cordelia felt more than relieved, yet still, she was hardly satisfied with what she had said. There was so much more she wanted to say — so much more she wanted to do. A laboured breath left her lips, and Misty scooted closer, wrapping her hands around Cordelia's wrists in order to ground her. She tenderly ran her thumbs down the fine hairs, speaking in a calm voice, "ssh, you're alright, De . . . Ya’ won't lose me ever again."

Cordelia couldn't even think straight as emotion after emotion swam through her soul and made it ache so badly — it felt just like the first time experiencing it. "I - I felt s-so m-miser-rable with-without y-you." The Headmistress' words were broken apart by heart wrenching sobs as they convulsed out of her chest with strength, dripping in the sickly scent of sorrow and heartache. She felt . . . Broken.

Misty frowned for a brief moment, not understanding why Cordelia had gotten so upset all of a sudden. Did she say something wrong? The swamp witch lightly chewed on her lip, anxiously thinking her options through. "It's alright, De. We ain't gotta talk 'bout it," she coaxed, hoping it'd help calm the weeping woman down.

However, Cordelia only shot up in slight panic at the sound of Misty's unsure tone, sniffling as her sorrow-filled eyes met the Cajun's distressed ones. "N-no, I want to t-tell you. I h-have to tell y-you," the older woman spoke with as much seriousness and sincerity laced in her words as she could form in the moment.

"Alright," Misty hesitantly agreed, feeling wary of the state that Cordelia had fallen into. "But you've gotta calm down a bit first, yeah?" She raised her eyebrows ever-so-slightly, scanning Cordelia's features for any hidden signs of uncertainty. Nothing. The older witch simply put on a brave face, nodding as surely as she could.

"Breathe with me."

Air seeped into Misty's lungs as the room was filled with the sound of an exaggerated inhale. The second she felt her lungs reaching their full capacity, she held her breath, waiting until Cordelia evidently caught up. Then, they exhaled in unison, before repeating the actions in the exact same order.

Truth be told, the Supreme wanted nothing more than to just get her words out. She wanted Misty to know everything — absolutely everything. There was no more time to waste. Even though Cordelia didn't plan on leaving the swamp witch alone any time soon, she couldn't shake the fear of losing her again. It made her realise the importance of opening up and allowing loved ones into her heart. Wait - did she . . . Did she love . . . Misty?

"You feelin' better?" The swamp witch finally asked, searching Cordelia's features in attempt to ensure she was being truthful. Misty was hoping the Headmistress wasn't doing this out of guilt. She didn't need that. Cordelia didn't need that either — she was only going to work herself up further, all for nothing.

Cordelia left the thought right where it was sat, not daring to do anything with it at the moment. She sheepishly nodded at Misty before looking down at her lap in slight shame. "Thank you."

"Quit thankin' me. I'm here for ya’ just as much as you're here for me, Delia," the swamp witch gently, yet firmly informed the Headmistress. She paused for a second, looking over Cordelia's soft features before speaking in a wary tone. "Do ya’ wanna talk now?"

The nod that the Headmistress sent Misty's way only screamed confidence, yet that was far from what Cordelia was feeling. Still, the older witch gave misty a thankful smile, knowing that she probably felt just as uneasy right now. The comforting grip on Cordelia's wrists loosened, then briskly disappeared as Misty brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her limbs as she listened intently to the Supreme.

"When I lost y-yo-you-" Cordelia tried, yet that lone sentence broke her in half, ripping her heart into shreds as the singular thought of the past events killed her inside all over again. She took a deep breath to calm herself before starting over, pushing her emotions away momentarily as she attempted to throw her thoughts out absentmindedly. "When your body turned to ash in my arms and your soul left this world, Misty, it - it felt like, like you took a piece of me with you."

A wet coat of tears painted it's way over the shiny surface of Misty's eyes as she heard Cordelia speak from her heart. She loved this — not seeing Cordelia in pain, but having her vulnerable all for her. Nothing could beat the adoration she felt as she watched the woman be so unapologetically herself, so raw and true to her heart. It made Misty's soul heat up with a feeling she hadn't quite felt in more than just a few months. Focus, dammit. The swamp witch blinked her salty tears away, bringing her attention back to Cordelia's words.

"I've been so very lost without you, Misty Day. I never realised how much of an impact you made on my life until . . . Until y-you were no l-longer in i-it." Cordelia swallowed thickly, aware of just how vulnerable she was being.

Lost? Misty inhaled sharply. Cordelia felt lost, too? And because of her? The swamp witch didn't know what to do or say in the moment . . .

Lost. They were lost without each other.

The Headmistress, unlike usually, couldn't tell what Misty was currently thinking. Her face held so much seriousness in it, Cordelia wasn't sure whether she should keep going or stop talking altogether. Misty was hardly ever this serious.

Sensing the sudden uncertainty in the Supreme's soul, Misty rested one of her hands on Cordelia's own, sharing the softest smile she could manage as the Headmistress relaxed at the comforting action.

"Everything in my life changed the day you left," Cordelia continued, feeling her confidence slowly return. She tried to retain eye-contact, though it was finding to be difficult with how vulnerable she was being. Her bottom lip slipped through her teeth in a swift motion, and Cordelia nipped it nervously, forcing herself to focus on the task at hand. "Nights in the greenhouse were no longer spent dancing to the radio and laughing whilst creating spells and potions . . . They were f-for crying all alone, because somehow, every single flower would remind me of something you said or did — like the way your face lit up that one night when I showed you that the Hibiscus was finally blooming," Cordelia smiled sadly, and Misty could only return the gesture, listening intently to the older witch's every word. "You know, after a while I couldn't even bring myself to go out there anymore," the Headmistress shamefully admitted, looking down at her lap.

Misty was under a trance, entirely mesmerised by Cordelia. All she could do was squeeze the woman's hand in reassurance. Her heart felt so full, the sound of it pumping was echoing in her head. She hadn't heard it beat this hard in a year.

"Stevie hasn't been here in months," the Supreme anxiously spat the sentence out in a rush, looking up at Misty with wide, tearful eyes. "P-Partly because I stopped inviting her, and partly because she, too, missed you so much, Misty. She couldn't stand to come here and have you not pull her into the tightest hug, or not have you faint from the excitement of seeing her."

A soft chuckle bubbled from Misty's dry throat at Cordelia's final sentence, and the Headmistress briefly smiled at the beloved sound, before continuing in a slightly unsure tone, averting her gaze the more she spoke. "It sounds silly, but I haven't even eaten a bagel since the day you left. I - I tried. But it only reminded me of how much you loved them, Misty — how much you appreciated and enjoyed the little things in life," a heavy sigh blew from Cordelia's lips. Her slender fingers subconsciously began playing with the rings on Misty's hand, as the next few words felt heavier to admit. "A piece of fruit, an insect, some rain — almost anything and everything would bring the brightest smiles out of you, Misty, and I missed seeing them so much. It - It felt like my heart was going t-to collapse if I thought about your smile for too long."

Misty couldn't believe her ears. Was Cordelia aware of what she was saying? This felt more than just an "I'm sorry" or an "I missed you", but Misty wasn't exactly sure why. A barely audible gasp dropped from her mouth at the admission, and Cordelia certainly didn't miss the soft sound; the house was silent — she could hear every single breath Misty took, let alone anything more.

The Headmistress tentatively glanced up, expecting to see hate or disgust looking back at her, but nothing. Misty, if anything, looked in awe of Cordelia, and the older woman couldn't quite come to terms with the fact that this really was reality. Overwhelming emotions whirled through her body, and she was almost convinced that she was going to pass out if she didn't get back on track, and so, with one last shaky breath, Cordelia continued speaking, "I would find strands of your hair in places I didn't even think you'd ever been. Every little creature reminded me of the times you'd saved a bird or a rabbit, even a butterfly. And the b-birds — they, they would always sing tunes that reminded me of - of you, Misty . . . Everything was s-so p-painf-ful without y-you a-a-an-"

Cordelia couldn't finish her sentence before a grievous sob shook through her body and poured from her lips. Misty hastily wiped her own tears away — barely realising that they had even fallen in the first place — as she swiftly repositioned herself so that she was on her knees in front of Cordelia's sobbing form. She gently reached over, cupping the older witch's rosy cheeks as the brown-eyed woman choked on her tears, gazing up at Misty with a heart-breaking expression. She was the one supposed to be comforting the swamp witch, not the other way around.

Misty shushed her, yet the sound was easily muffled by Cordelia's unsteady cries. "Breathe for a minute," Misty worriedly spoke, panic swimming over her features. "You're workin' yourself up, De."

But Cordelia didn't care. All the Headmistress wanted to do was to tell Misty that she was fine — that she wanted to continue, and that Misty didn't need to worry, but as she opened her mouth, all that fell out were stutters and jumbles of words she, herself, didn't even know the meaning of.

"Ssh," Misty tried again, "it's alright. Just breathe, Delia. I'm here."

The older witch nodded with all her might. Her cheeks were soaked; the tears currently sliding down them couldn't even be distinguished. She had so much to say. So much, yet looking at Misty's sweet, worried face, it all seemed to escape her mind. Cordelia had never seen a look so pure — no one had ever looked at her quite like that. The Supreme didn't want to mistake it for anything or assume, but it's what she imagined the look of love appearing like.

"That's it, sunshine. You're doin' great," Misty praised, noticing how the Headmistress’ body slowly began relaxing. Cordelia hadn't even realised it — she wasn't focused on breathing what-so-ever. And now, she wasn't focused on her thoughts, either.

"S-Sunshine?" She chuckled breathily, wondering if the pet name was intended. Her whole entire body warmed at the beaming smile that Misty sent her way as she heard Cordelia's laugh.

"Mhm, maybe I'll explain later," she gave Cordelia a quick, toothy grin before allowing it to wash away. "Right now, we just gotta focus on gettin' ya’ all calm again, ok? Just breathe with me."

This time, Cordelia did as Misty asked, and the two witches repeated the sequence of actions they had performed earlier, all whilst looking softly into each other's eyes. A whole minute passed before the Supreme felt calm enough to continue. She breathed out a gentle, "thank you," before sending Misty a grateful smile in attempt to prove that she felt better.

Satisfied with Cordelia's relaxation, Misty allowed for her hands to drop from the warmth of the older witch's skin. "Do ya’ wanna get some sleep now, De?" The swamp witch quietly asked, feeling slightly perturbed. "You're gonna get sick if ya’ keep cryin' like that. We can finish this tomorrow if ya’-"

"No! No, Misty, please. I need to do this now," Cordelia interjected before Misty could even finish her sentence. Her body tensed as a jolt of anxiety flew through her veins. Misty had to hear this tonight. It was now or never.

However, the swamp witch didn't exactly feel the same way. In fact, she was beginning to feel agitated by the situation. Cordelia was evidently getting herself more and more anxious by the second — she could barely get her words out without sobbing every two minutes, for Christ’s sake! Misty was sure that the older witch was bound to have an anxiety attack from pushing herself so much, and she wasn't willingly going to let that happen. Whatever Cordelia wanted to say, it wasn't more important than her health. It could simply wait.

"What's goin' on, Delia?" Misty's eyebrows furrowed as she searched the woman's face in worry. "I know you're upset, but you're not tellin' me somethin' — I can tell. It's been a long day and I know you're tired. Why are ya’ puttin' yourself through this now?" She asked. And though Misty's voice remained calm and filled with curiosity, Cordelia could tell by her demeanour that the swamp witch was slowly getting fed up of the Headmistress dragging this out. It was only making them more upset and nervous.

"I . . ." A heavy sigh broke the sentence in two. "I want to tell you how I feel, Misty. In-Incase something happens to you a-again. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I held this b-back."

At the sound of this, the swamp witch brought her left hand up to Cordelia's wet cheek, stroking it tenderly with her thumb. "Listen to me, Delia," she spoke, seriousness fully laced in between her sincere words. "Nothin' is gonna happen to me. Do ya’ hear me? Nothin'. I’m with ya’ now, and - and I feel safe here," Misty admitted with a shy smile before continuing, "I'm not plannin' on goin' anywhere anytime soon. You’re . . . You're my tribe, and that means you're stuck with me 'cause I've been lookin' for ya’ for a Hell of a long time . . ." Misty paused, realising what she had said a second later, "wait, that wasn't supposed to be a Hell pun. Dammit!"

Cordelia couldn't contain the laugh that flung out of her mouth, lighting up her entire face in it's wake. Misty rolled her eyes playfully, yet she couldn't brush her own goofy smile off of her face. "Ya’ know what I meant!" She argued, not being able to hold back a giggle at the sound of Cordelia's heartwarming laughter. After all this time, it was still her favourite sound.

"Oh, how I've missed you," the Headmistress spoke with a lightness in her soul, unable to wipe the loving smile from her face as she spoke. "I know I keep saying it, but it's true."

"I missed you, too," Misty admitted, looking into Cordelia's gentle eyes with her soft ones. "I thought about ya’ all the time in Hell. I couldn't wait to come home . . . I knew I would, I just didn't know when . . . But, I'm here now and I'm stayin', so no more tears, alright? You've cried a swamp these past few days!" The blue-eyed witch giggled again, emitting a hearty chuckle from Cordelia, though the room fell to silence quicker than ever as Misty's words registered into the Supreme's mind.

"Y-Your home? You really think th-this is home, Misty?" Cordelia asked with hopeful eyes, almost worried that she had mis-heard the swamp witch.

"This? No, silly! This isn't my home . . ." Misty shook her head as a playful, teasing smile appeared on her lips. She watched Cordelia with adoration, finally realising what needed to be said. "You are."

Silence filled the air as the room was sucked empty of oxygen. Cordelia wasn't sure whether her face was flushed or whether it paled. If not for the warm hand still brushing over the smooth skin of her cheek, grounding her, she'd have been convinced that this was just a delirium dream.

Misty looked so sure of herself, bearing the most satisfied smile Cordelia had ever seen. She finally said what her heart wanted to say. It was Cordelia's turn now, and the Supreme wasted no time, blinking twice as she was sucked back into the reality of the moment.

"Kiss me."

That was all Cordelia had to communicate before Misty attached her rosy lips to her plump, pink ones in a longing, loving kiss. It was a picture perfect moment — one that neither of them would ever forget, for it was the start of something entirely new and unparalleled. They wrote a thousand love letters with their tongues that night, and with every single one, their lips shared the sweet taste of love, purity and hope.

In that particular moment — and with every moment that followed — Misty and Cordelia experienced the true meaning of love and happiness, as together, they were no longer lost and broken, but rather

found and whole.

#cordelia goode x misty day #cordelia goode one shot #misty day one shot #goodeday one shot #gooday one shot #cordelia goode fanfic #misty day fanfic #goodeday fanfic #foxxay fanfic #gooday fanfic #foxxay one shot #cordelia x misty #tori writes #ahs-honey #ahs fic #sarah paulson x lily rabe

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thewitchydorkofportals · 4 years

Text

Art theraphy (OMOMTRTA)

(This is a story about the latest shall we date game Obey me! One master to rule them all. I don’t own the game just the Oc I made to be the MC Also if you haven’t played the game..back out the hell now.cause SPOILERS LINK TO THEM IN THE BIOOO)

Lucifer was minding his own damn business when he noticed a box. it wasnt a scam box,or the latest weeb, it was a box loaded with art supplies. he knew who it was so he picked it up bending with his knees and took it there. and when he placed it down he began texting.

Lucifer: Christina...Did you order anything?

Christna: Oh yes! I ordered some art supplies to help me with my theraphy. Did they arrive? Ill go get them.

Lucifer: No need they are at your door now. And if you tried to lift them you might hurt your back.

Christina: Thanks Lucifer! Youre the greatest!

This did make Lucifer blush. He did like it when Christina praised him. It was like when Lilith did when she was around all those eons ago. He smiled seeing her door open and her squealing excited at the box and quickly scanning her room for a box cutter. when she found one she was extra careful opening it and began inspection on each item. "Lets see..1 set of scented ink in the colors of the rainbow..check. Water colorss..check. chinese paintbrushes and brushes in a pinstripe tip with a metal case to match..check..Sketchbooks that can tolerate ink and water color..and books on the weather of Devildom...check and check...400 Grimm well spent on theraphy." Lucifer almost cringed cause Mammon and Asmo and their spending habits but,if this was for theraphy and the shopping itself wasnt theraphy he will stomach it. "May i help you with this 'Theraphy' of yours?" He asked. Chrissy made a happy gasp and nods cause the point of it was talking out your emotions while drawing them.

Lucifer sat down and saw her put the things about happily humming and looking at a prompt list on the internet. "So you do this to make you happy? When did it start?" She hesitated and went silent.. "Lucifer...Lord Diavolo has punishments in each area right? The places i cant go i mean." She asked. Lucifer nodded not knowing where she was going with it until she asked "Where do abusive fathers go? I know ive seen people like me here in phases of hell. cause you and your brothers have..fun with them or to me..curse my name being the meaning of purgetory.." she laughed making Lucifer chuckle a bit. "Okay how about as your drawing you tell me what you saw around my brothers. and ill tell you where your father might go." Whoever this dirtbag was he was gonna judge him himself. Didnt he know what a gem he had. Who does he think he is Henry the 8th?! "Welll Asmo gets alot of fan visits...and he has no respect for the thickness of the walls...or the floor..." "NEXT" Lucifer said facepalming. He knew their was gonna be a boom soon no thanks to him. No wonder poor chrissy gets creeped out by him. "Well Beels football team will do somthing nice when i bake cookies to help fund the team. They buy all by cookies before Beel eats them all.Somthing about Dining hall being a Warzone." Lucifer realized she only comes to the house to eat and not the dining hall. Thank hells she didnt see the last food fight. "Oh but you know that Mammon got a job right?" This was a small surprise to Lucifer and looked at her. "It was only for the day..we worked at Hells kitchen for a while..I was a waitress with Belphie and Mammon was a Fry coo-" That did it...Lucifer was laughing..good thing Chrissy was the only person listening. "I-im sorry continue.." Chrissy nodded "Now um i was wondering if my dad can go there since he robbed me,,,treated me like crap...malipulated me..." she went on and on about her abuse and not know Lucifer..even though was listening and was calm..and didnt know jack about this man..wanted to end his BLOODY LIFE.

That was then and nowadays the place was quiet and the men were mopey..Mammon did steal but not that much. Even levi was lonely. That was until their phones were ringing

The house of Lamentation(7):

Chrissy: Hey guys did you miss me?

Mammon: CHRISSSSYYYYY*crying*

Levi: How is it in the human world? You are collecting mangas for me right? And the latest Kpop stuff?

chrissy: I missed you guys too and yes Levi im keeping my promise.

*Shows a picture of her library and there was her normal books and her whole collection of manga and her fairy garden full of minitures*

Satan and Levi: So...many...books.:heart:

Chrissy: And most of them are autographed with notes from the authors and or voice actors. I can give you a tour of my house?

Everone: YES PLEASE

Thus began the video call. so in the call they saw each part of her room starting with well the house and outside. It was an domed roofed Eco manor on 10 acres of land , featuring solar pannels,Silo for her animals food, a inground pool, a nearby lake, a circular driveway with some oddly burned in treadmarks, and a stable. She began getting passionate about her horses and comparing some of them to the brothers. Alll of them wondered if they could they can get her to breed with one of their Hell horses..just to see what would happen. Then she showed inside where they are in her living room/kitchen area. It has leather couch,her gaming systems in a heart shaped cabinet, a flatscreen television and her bass guitar, and is open to the second story with a balcony overlooking the floor below in the living room area.The kitchen had two ways to get in from the living and dining area from the looks of it, a kitchen island, a rainbow of cake spactulas, cooking supplies and more. Beel was loving this room just as much as Levi loved the living room.There was even a Yogurt and cupcake machine!Lucifer was just happy she was following her Keto diet seeing the Keto cookbooks.then they saw Angel, her service dog, and her cat Sir snowball and her trying to calm them. They all did laugh at that and then mammon got excited seeing a beaut of a Mazda decaled with an angry unicorn in space on it. He could also tell it had carbon fiber hoods and roofing. She was MADE to race!

Chrissy: Mammon stop drooling over Winter..

Mammon: But shes beautiful!

Chrissy: And i dont want you Crashing her.

As the tour continues She showed her mermaid themed bathroom with 2 tubs 1 tub for the pets and 1 jucuzzi sized one for herself, A walk in shower raised on a platform, a freestanding hairdryer and a small electric fireplace in the corner that changed color.Asmo was getting ideas but it was cut off by a "Dont you think about it" from chrissy. Asmo pouted. All that was missing was a mini nail salon. Then the best part for all of them..her ROOM. Where she was sleeping for sometime. It features a large loft bed, freestanding mirror, fireplace and 3 full-length windows overlooking the ground below. The walls are decorated with all of her paintings and photos of them in poses she asked them to do which made them have the Feels. Cause they realized in almost every room there were these types of paintings and photos. And they saw her walk in closet that had some clothes all off them gave her and her vlogging gear. She did claim about having guest rooms but they were mostly storage at the moment. In the end of the tour she showed her editing room, Art room and smiled at them sadly when she said she had to go. Most of them whined but lucifer said. "Dont worry guys. she will call back at least we know her theraphy is making her feel alright." Then Lucifer was shocked when she asked "You guys will visit right?" they all nod and Chrissy hung up excited to show them around

#obey me one master to rule them all #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me satan

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teruthecreator · 5 years

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💘 for macknerva!!

anon, you are a genius. you’ve basically just sent the magical question that has now unlocked for the world: macknerva origin story (bc honestly i realized i just start posting abt it without rlly explaining it??? and someone people are loving it??? so thank yall for being my ultimate favs but u deserve this origin)

also this is several days late (thank u Depression) and also super long (thank u Dumb Brain) so i hope you can forgive me for both of these things

💘: who developed a crush on the other first?

it’s time we take it back....Back To The Start.

so since this is my magical world of My Own Personal Canon (since i stole griffin mcelroys rights), minerva ends up in Kepler in a completely unnamed and not talked abt manner (bc im too tired to explain my general alternate theory hgkgldlgbfhke but busically she just got on a ship to earth to avoid dying) and is staying with duck until further notice. she doesn’t mind laying low at duck’s apartment until they’re able to figure out Everything and get her set up w a place of her own (spoiler alert: that never happens, but duck won’t admit he just misses having a roommate so they let it slide).

after about a month (which feels like eons in minerva’s mind), she starts to get antsy. she’s already been introduced to the pine guard and amnesty lodge, by this point, so she’s constantly trying to hang out with someone so she isn’t stuck in duck’s apartment all hours of the day.

which is how minerva ends up in the cryptonomica the day kirby has to run into his job at the theatre for a good portion of the day. it’s pretty empty in the shop--i mean museum, so it’s not like ned minds (plus him and mack have already struck up an agreement, which i explained in a previous post abt ned and macks friendship) especially when minerva’s around to willingly pick up the slack.

but this second job has minerva curious:

minerva: I assumed your assistant, Kirby, had only the singular position at your museum? ned, from behind the counter: Oh, for a while he did, but then the theatre opened up and his services were needed elsewhere. And who am I, Ned “Theatrical” Chicane, to deny such a marvelous establishment of the skills and technical prowess Kirby possesses?” minerva: Oh? A theatre, you say?

here comes some random personal hc: on her homeworld, minerva was involved in her planet’s form of theatre (which i’ve always pictured to be very greek-esque, thus explaining her naturally booming voice) and absolutely adored it as a hobby. she, obviously, understands there will be a difference between Earthen theatre and the theatre she once performed; but there is no denying that that thought barely crossed her mind as she proceeded to pester ned about the theatre until he suggested she get a part-time job there.

(ned knows mack’s struggles with keeping hires at the theatre, which is why he is quick to suggest minerva get a job there. that, and ned knows enough abt mack at this point to pretty accurately guess her Type. so let’s just say ned was doing this for both macks gain, but also for his gain to be able to harass her abt her hot new employee that he totally inflicted on her on purpose)

ned probably brings it up later that night, or the next day. just really casually drops that he has someone interested in a position at the theatre:

mack: Holy fuck--yes, Ned! Tell them they’re hired!!! What can they do? ned: Hmmmmm, well she’s quite fit, and has no qualms with getting her hands dirty. mack: Oh, perfect! I need some more set builders! Thanks a whole lot, Ned. I knew you’d always have my back. ned, knowing full well what he’s just wrought: Oh, of course, dear Mackerel. Anything for a friend!

cue the next day: mack is just going about the theatre, business as usual, staying sort of close to the house doors so she can be Right There when ned comes in with the new hire. she’s faced away from the doors, checking something on her phone (probably her texts with ned, to see if he’s arrived yet) when she hears the doors open and shut. mack turns around to witness the Hottest Woman She Has Ever Seen In Her Goddamn Life.

she’s tall--holy shit is she tall--with beautiful dark skin painted with these almost glowing blue tattoos that travel all the way across powerful arms and a prominent collarbone. but the tattoos don’t stop there, of course they don’t. they go all the way up to this woman’s bald head, perfectly framing her beautiful face. high cheekbones, strong chin, a wonderful nose (mack doesn’t have much of a preference for noses but this one is perfect she just knows it), masterfully-carved eyebrows that look like they were chiseled out of stone, and those enchanting, bright, beautiful bright blue eyes.

mack’s brain basically short-circuits once minerva smiles at her (with those pearly white teeth and a grin so inviting it feels like her whole heart is melting), so she’s barely able to process the smug ned beside minerva.

@goforduck drew this scene for me a while back and imma show it to u all bc i love him, his art, and the hot takes he gives my special lil ship:

needless to say, mack Is Attracted, but i wouldn’t necessarily consider it a crush. meanwhile, minerva’s pov, she’s so damn excited for this job that she’s practically vibrating on the way in. and then, like romantic poetic would have it, all of that energy halts as time stands still and minerva locks eyes with....mack.

mack definitely looks a little disheveled, but it’s like every fly-away hair crowns her head like a halo as those gemstones-for-eyes lock w minerva. she’s never seen someone she has felt so immediately attracted to in her life. but, that being said, she still does not Have A Crush.

so after all the awkward blustering (AKA mack tripping over every eighth word as minerva turns on the Charm to keep that blush on mack’s freckled face) mack starts to get minerva accustomed to the work environment and the tasks she’d need to do. eventually, she hands minnie off to kirby bc shes got work to do, and the rest of the day goes by uneventfully.

now minerva works at the theatre, and she’s Delighted w it. the job is easy but entertaining, she’s making friends, her knowledge of the world is expanding, and she now has a target for some very playful flirting and obvious showing-off of her muscles. because, listen....she has Eyes. she Knows mack always blusters whenever she’s around. and she knows herself, too. mack is cute and minerva likes making her blush. but there hasn’t been that moment where things are taken seriously.

until about a month in, when minerva walks into something she maybe shouldn’t have but also definitely should have.

you see, mack has a very important ritual in the morning. she arrives at the theatre at the absolute ass crack of dawn so she can get her yoga/stretching/vocal warmups in (since she is still a performer at heart and this has been her routine since college) and then sit by herself on the stage just sorta soaking it all in before kirby comes in with her coffee (which she needs in order to get up from her seated position on the stage bc she is that much of a coffee addict). just about every employee on staff knows not to even bother coming in this early bc 1. this ritual is very Private and Sacred to mack and 2. ur not even gonna be able to speak to her unless ur kirby w her coffee.

“just about” encompasses every employee except for minerva, who decides to show up before kirby to bring mack her coffee (that she memorized after cornering kirby for the specifics one day)

so she comes in the back entrance and is sort of at a loss as to where mack may be bc she doesn’t know mack’s routine. and she’s just kinda wandering aimlessly through all the shops and little rooms until she reaches the wings, where she hears the gentle strumming of a guitar.

she approaches, with all the caution of a woman who has spent years mastering the art of stealth along w her combat studies, and comes upon the following scene:

mack is seated in the exact center of the stage, eyes shut peacefully as her body sways to the tempo of the song she’s strumming on the guitar she’s playing (which minerva recognizes as the guitar that some idiot pit member left here about two weeks ago). she’s singing (the song is Dream A Little Dream of Me), and her voice is so soft yet so resonate that minerva feels as if she could stand right next to her or be 1000 feet away and hear the exact same thing. and she sounds so good, so completely in the song she’s performing and in her contentedness that it eases some subconscious unease minerva was holding. in the time minerva’s known mack, it’s the most natural she’s ever heard or seen her, just playing for an invisible audience in the dim lights of a theatre not yet awakened.

minerva doesn’t realize she’s drifting closer to mack until she steps on an uneven plank, and the noise snaps mack out of her little world as she turns to the noise. needless to say, she’s a little surprised that minerva’s here this early, but then minerva wordlessly hands her her coffee and so mack could care less. she accepts the drink w a smile and then decides to go to her office to get started on some business emails.

it isn’t until mack has already left the stage, and minerva is still stuck in the same position she was when she handed mack her coffee--heart racing a million miles a minute, face hot, and stomach feeling as if an entire colony of butterflies suddenly took refuge there--that minerva realizes that she is Endlessly, Hopelessly Fucked In Love.

So yeah, TLDR; Minerva was first.

#ignorance cloud on #mack attack tag #macknerva #fellow keplerians #long post #so uh yeah consider this my coming back from my hiatus lmao!!#i decided its easier to be active and sad on here than to be inactive and sad irl #my posting will probably be a little erratic still but uhhhhh whatever #sorry this took so long anon some shit went down

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gregoftom · 5 years

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im feeling upset, betrayed, angry, quirky, and a little wrathful tonight... can you write a nygmob drabble (short) to ease my mood? I thank u

it was not ed’s day.

he was drenched from a constant pour of rain, and the gates were closed. the bird sanctuary’s golden sign barely stood out against the drab background of the grey skies of gotham. he’d planned to take oswald here as a surprise, well it wasn’t really a surprise, he’d done it a few times before, but oswald never seemed to tire of it, lighting up when he saw their destination. yet his plans had gone awry.

it seemed there was some kind of issue which of course had to happen today, otherwise it would be open. oswald was peeping in the gates and rapping his umbrella on it impatiently. ed smiled. oswald was worried something had happened to the birds. he must have been looking at oswald with a dopey expression for the past few minutes, because when oswald turned to look at him there was a half smile on his face.

“what?”

“hm? oh. it’s nothing, it’s just... you’re so adorable, my love. the way you care for the birds. or anything else that you adore,”

“i... am not,” oswald said with a reddening face, coming out from under the canopy of the entrance and lifting his umbrella up to cover himself. “you’re wet,”

“indeed,”

“come under the umbrella you fool,”

“you’ll poke me in the eye again. you are so tiny,”

“oh i’ll show you tiny!” oswald fumed, kicking ed in the shin with what was probably half of his power. it hurt. quite a bit. but ed didn’t mind.

“ah yes, forgive my mistake. you are a maelstrom, a force of nature, the tide beating against the rocks. only for me are you a vast ocean, calm and glittering, and like in the sunset, it makes me want to weep how beautiful you are,”

oswald looked up at ed with wide, starstruck eyes, the same way he usually did when ed said such sweet things. it was the same look as in front of the fire what felt like eons ago. the pair had changed, but some things had not.

“i love you,” was all oswald said after what felt like a minute of silence.

“i love you too, my king,” ed smiled again, but it fell immediately when he remembered what had happened. “i’m sorry i ruined the day. i was so sure...”

“ruined? nonsense. you did not know what would happen. it is the thought that counts, and i still love that you take me here,”

“really?” ed said, perking up a little. “let me hold the umbrella, and come underneath it with me,”

oswald obeyed, handing over his umbrella and moving in close to ed. with his free hand, ed placed it to oswald’s face before leaning in and kissing him. it was a slow, chaste kiss, which lasted what felt like glorious minutes before they pulled apart. they gazed into each other’s eyes for some time before ed noticed that oswald’s face was wet from his hand. he pulled it away.

“sorry,”

“no matter. anybody else i would eviscerate for even touching me, let alone getting me wet, but for you, darling... you may whenever you like,”

“i’m honoured,” they moved so that they were side by side, pressed close together, with oswald wrapping an arm around ed’s waist and leaning his head against him. “to the nearest cafe, then, for hot drinks and treats? or back home?”

“home, my love,” oswald said as he closed his eyes. “home.”

#riddle box #this made me emo lmao...... they.....#and i'm sorry you feel bad!! i hope everything will be ok <3 i hope this helped!#nygmobblepot #Anonymous

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mars-the-4th-planet · 6 years

Text

Peace in our time:

At a certain point one realizes that despite it all, loathing does nothing and achieves nothing.

Without help, I, Mars, could never take on Jupiter and regain my dignity as a planet. The stinging shame of defeat was not something I could settle through violence. And after the Great War, it was clear to me that violence wasnt the answer even if I were the strongest planet of all. Humanity has sworn off that kind of conflict and buried the hatchet, so why couldnt I?

So, swallowing my pride, I went to go apologize to Jupiter and ask if there were no hard feelings. I willed myself to accept my place as the lesser planet. And not hold it against Jupiter for not giving me what I needed any longer. After all it wasnt like Jupiter herself was hostile towards me, and maybe she had a good reason for not saving my biosphere?

At first she was skeptical. "Im really sorry I caused so much trouble. I was in a terrible, desperate situation and I felt humiliated to no end by my defeat, so I held a grudge against you for eons even though you-"

At this point my voice starts cracking and I am unable to speak.

To my surprise, Jupiter starts to silently cry and she picks me up like a child. "I am sorry too Mars, I wanted to give you the atmospheric protection you needed... I really did! But Sol told me that... If... If I did I would face extreme consequences. It was her will that I could not help you, and I was too afraid of losing her favor to disobey. She also told me not to let you know, so... Dont tell her I said any of this, okay?"

"Put me down Jupiter..." I say softly. I knew it, I knew she must have had a reason. Me and Jupiter werent friends 88 million years ago when the conflict happened but its not like she would screw me over for no reason. Especially when it seemed like a perfect opportunity to show Saturn how generous she was.

"I want it to stop, Jupiter. I cannot stand to be your enemy forever. I forgive you for not helping me... If you forgive me for... You know, what I did."

"Of course I do Mars. I was so angry at the time, mostly because you were attacking me when I secretly wanted to help you. But I understand now that anger and pain doesnt solve anything. Just look at humanity!" Jupiter says placing me back down.

I smile up at the larger planet. "Yes, that is exactly what I was thinking. If humans can find peace even after all they have done to each other, surely us celestial bodies can too!"

"I mean we havent really fought since then..." Jupiter pointed out.

"Not physically... No."

"Mars you are being awfully overdramatic. You cannot compare the tension between us to the Great War."

"Im not!" I exclaim. "Im comparing it to the tension between the countries AFTER the war ended!"

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yea."

"This isnt just a ploy to cut your punishment short right? Because you know I have to enforce it or Sol will be mad."

"Of course not! I only want us to not hate each other any more. Its pointless and will only cause anger and suspicion for both of us."

Jupiter smiled back at me, wiping the tears off her face with her sleeve. "I agree. Lets not talk about that event to each other again okay? That was a bad time for everyone involved."

"Okay Jupiter. Sorry again."

And from that point on, things were better between us. Not perfect, but I was no longer conspiring against her and she no longer made fun of me and was far gentler overall. I still had to do chores for her and I couldnt eat Saturns ice cream but at least we had peace of mind. Which is why I ended up rating her a 7/10 on the planetary scale. After all, if the countries had peace in our time...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then WWII started and we both looked at each other awkwardly.

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tehstripe · 7 years

Text

2. Dear _______, - Dave/Rose Newspaper Columnist AU

I finally finished the second fic for my challenge! The prompt was “newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au,” found in this AU list. Also this thing is a small monster that I will probably cross-post to AO3 after... a bit of editing and coding.

(Also keep an eye out I have a second fic to post tonight.)

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

Recently, my boyfriend has been acting strangely. He keeps asking about my schedule and when I'll be home. At first I assumed he was just asking so that he could work on planning dates, but whenever I ask him about his schedule, he gets very cagey and won't tell me exactly what he's doing. If I ever demand what he is doing, he tells me he is hanging out with "friends."

Is he cheating on me, or am I just reading into things? I want to confront him, but I don't want to ruin the relationship over something silly...

Sincerely, Am I Just Paranoid?

Dear Mx. Paranoid?

There are one of three options here.

The first is, naturally, the most boring. He is cheating on you. His so-called "friends" are in fact a short-hand for his elicit lover.

For your sake, I hope this is not the case, though I am sure it would be gratifying to know that your suspicions were at least somewhat justified. I would recommend actually talking to some of his friends in order to confirm the story that he is telling you. Is he truly hanging out with them, or is he just using them as a convenient excuse to ditch you?

A few caveats. First, even if his friends back up his story, they may be lying. You can test this by asking a few of them what they were up to and seeing if their stories match. If possible, I would recommend talking to some of their significant others, who will more likely be sympathetic to your cause.

If you do not know enough of his friends in order to ask them what they were up to on June 6th at 11:00 PM, consider that you may not be deep enough into this relationship to be too concerned about ruining it. Cut your losses and run. Even if he is not cheating on you, I cannot think of much good that will come from having a boyfriend who, early in the relationship, demands to know where you will be without properly reciprocating.

Naturally, if you do discover that your man is cheating on him, there is only one possible solution. You must sacrifice his body to Zathog the Great Old One. If he is pleased with your sacrifice, then he may grant you the ability to travel through both time and space, which is undeniably a much better thing to be in possession of than a cheating boyfriend.

Ah! But we must not overlook the other possibilities. You may also be in a situation pulled straight from a "Romantic Comedy," as the lay people refer to them, where you are led to believe your beau is cheating on you, when in truth, he is attempting to set up a beautiful surprise for you that only shows how much he loves you. Perhaps there is even a big diamond ring in your future?

Ah, but Miss Therapist, you may proclaim. However will I know whether or not I have found myself within the confines of a "Romantic Comedy"? The answer is simple. Look around you, at the people you surround yourself with. Do you have a gay best friend who gladly accepts the lofty title of "sassy"? Do you have a well-meaning girl friend (who you, mistakenly, call a "girlfriend" despite the fact that the two of you are straight) who is hapless, cute (but not as cute as you), and pursuing her own relationship off to the periphery of your existence? Are there any older women in your life who give you expressions that imply they have seen it all?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then congratulations! You are most likely a fictional character within a film that will be affectionately dubbed a "Chick Flick." On the bright side, you are undoubtedly being played by an attractive celebrity, so that is one important consolation prize to the unfortunate fact that you are not actually real.

You can also check this with his friends, of course.

The final, and frankly, most likely option is that he is planning his own ritualistic sacrifice to Zathog. He is most likely planning to sacrifice you. Get the jump on him. Forgo love and earthly attachments and become the space-and-time travelling god you were always destined to be.

I hope this helps.

Sincerely, The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I'm trying to think of what I should get my girlfriend for our two-year anniversary. She's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I want to make it special for her. Any ideas?

-- Two Years of Devotion

dear 2y devotion

okay my dude my buddy my pal

listen to this thing that you are asking me. really listen to it. take the page you are reading right now and hold it up to your ear all gentle like and let it whisper into your ear.

"i want to do something special" cool thats great thats a general thing that everybody who is not a douche wants to do for their significant other but think about this for a sec.

you went to an advice column for this shit. and dont get me wrong my advice column is unequivocally the best advice column cause unlike some columnists im not gonna suggest you throw your girlfriend to sh'blugh the tentacle horror from beyond the veil but

you gave me nothing to go on man

how do i make that special

like give me some details to go off of

you love this girl right tell me something about her

or i guess since its too late to tell me about her because this is a delayed conversation that gets publicly written and published in a magazine think about the kind of shit that she likes

like you probably already know the kind of shit that she likes if youre really as into her as you say

does your girl like flowers? get her some flowers does your girl like horses? get her a horse does your girl like sports? get her a sport

and like that goes for activities too if youve decided to date an adrenaline junkie take her to an amusement park or go skydiving or something

or even just crack open a bottle of fancy wine or whatever

shit is special if you make it special dude and if i tell you exactly what to do that ruins the whole idea of it being special

anyway good luck hope you dont bomb it

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm a mother of a beautiful girl who is currently in the second grade. She constantly comes home complaining of a boy bothering her in class. I have gone to her teacher to try and figure out what we can do to make her feel more comfortable at school, but the teacher simply said that the boy probably had a crush and told me that this was a normal peer interaction among children their age.

While I understand that many children do not know how to properly express their emotions or their feelings, I can't help but feel suspicious of this determination. My daughter has said that this boy has pulled her hair and pushed her down on the playground. I don't care what the teacher says - that is NOT the behavior of somebody with a crush.

Sincerely, Concerned Mother

Dear Miss Concerned,

You have every right to be concerned. However, the teacher is right. That boy almost certainly does have a crush.

You see, Miss Concerned, in all my years of giving advice and viewing the world from my lofty place above it, I have come to the conclusion that a man in love becomes the stupidist and most brute-ish thing imaginable. This starts from a very young age, and though the man may be able to temper his natural instincts upon growing older and even produce the occasional bouquet of flowers, this is natural. Why, even at my decidedly unspecified age, I sometimes encounter men who show their undying affection for me by "vagueing" me, as I understand is the modern parlance, in their own personal advice columns.

(By the by, Mr. Strider, everybody knows that my column has more regular readers than yours does.)

That said, this behavior is unacceptable. Were this a fully grown man, of course, I would say that you should toss him to the Old One of your choice as an offering of appeasement for not destroying our planet eons ago, but this is still just a second grade boy. Foolish and brutish as he may be, I will never condone child sacrifice. Instead, focus on the teacher.

Tell her that you don't care if this boy has a crush - it is unacceptable that your daughter is being made to feel unsafe and unhappy in a place of learning, which should be open to her. Children do not learn or grow well in environments they are uncomfortable in. If this boy is making her uncomfortable then, whatever his reasons for doing that may be, he needs to be talked to and he needs to be stopped. That is the long and short of it. If the teacher seems unwilling to help, take it to the principal. If the principal is equally reluctant, then pitch a fit and give some of your fellow parents a reason to outrage. Make the local news. Cause a national movement for little boys to stop pulling little girl's hair in an attempt to flirt. Eventually, the teacher will have to give in. Or at the very least, pressure from social media will get her fired for showing such painful neglect at her job.

Once that happens, naturally, you may sacrifice her to the Old One of your choosing.

I hope that these words bring you comfort and wisdom. You sound like you are a good and caring mother.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I have a crush on a guy, but I don't know how to get his attention. What can I do to get him to notice me?

-- Crushing in California

dear crushinator

well first off let me tell you what NOT to do

the thing that you definitely dont do is call this guy out for vagueing you on your very public advice column especially if youre going to pretend that youre a cool dark mistress of the night who ritually sacrifices people to the tentacled gods of your nightmares i mean okay i guess i should specify that you will definitely get noticed but not in the way that you want despite that saying there is such a thing as bad attention especially when youre attempting to woo a guy

anyways i guess it really depends on the kind of guy youre looking at what do you know about this dude is he into video games?? go take a picture of yourself with a controller in your mouth and accidentally send it to him then hell know for sure that youre a gamer gurl and hell ask to play some fresh games with you and then you have an in (make sure youre actually okay at video games though maybe)

is he into sports??? go dress yourself as a ball

or wear a jersey with his favorite team on it or something

just get a conversation started honestly or if youre already in the conversation zone you can start dropping mad innuendos left and right maybe put on some nice clothes or bat your eyelashes a bit you know just do something special

and again dont call him out on "vagueing" you or hell just continue to talk smack about you to his huge avid fanbase and then youll just be sad and embarrassed

hope that helps

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm a high school student and there's a few people who keep bothering me on social media. They aren't bullying me or anything, but they keep mentioning me in posts and responding to all of my statuses. It's getting kind of annoying. What should I do?

Sincerely, I just want some peace and quiet on my FB Feed!

Dear FB Feeder,

Truly, now you understand the trials and tribulations that I myself face on a near daily basis. I do not know you or your body of work, but clearly within the realm of your school, you must be somewhat famous.

Now, I do not know the gender or sexual orientation of these bothering people you mention, but I would hazard a guess that at least one or two of them are interested in pursuing you romantically, but due to having the emotional maturity of a teenager, they do not know how to pursue you in a way that is not hugely annoying.

I am sure you would like to hear that this behavior will naturally fade over time as said teenagers grow and mature into proper young adults, but I am saddened to inform you that often this is not the case. Why, one can even become a semi-professional advice columnist and yet still resort to calling out their crushes in a public space. Therefore, you will need to take some actions in order to ease your own annoyance at the situation.

The easiest option would, of course, be to block them, but I do not claim to be an expert on the delicate social balance of your high school. Perhaps blocking these individuals would be a social faux pas from which you could never recover. In that case, many websites (and I suspect this mysterious "FB" is among them) have a way to block people from showing up on your feed. This may not solve the problem, but may fix some of the annoyance.

You could also try talking to them. Tell them that their constant attention is annoying and unflattering. If they are trying to impress you, then they will back off. If they are trying to get to you, then they are bullying you, and you can report them to the adult of your choice.

Naturally there is always the option of throwing them to the Beasts Below, who quite enjoy annoying human souls.

I hope this helps.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear Disc Jockey Strider,

I have a quandary. You see, there is a particular rival of me who seems to, as of late, decided to take it upon himself to mention me in nearly every single public answer he grants to his purported legion of devoted fans. I am beginning to think that perhaps there is something more to his constant mentions of me. Is this a cry for help? Could it be that the adviser, in this case, should become the advisee?

Sincerely, An Anonymous, but Concerned, Reader

dear anonymous tentacle therapist,

yeah haha nice try

--- dj strider

dear tentacle mistress of the night,

hey so i have this problem and that problem is primarily the fact that theres this creepy advice columnist whos constantly up in my grill and i think shes gotta be in love with me

i mean i also have a problem in that im just drowning in so many fans that i cant barely see straight but thats one hundred percent beside the point

whats my plan of action here do i let her down gently or what

sincerely, a super cool dude with a better advice column than this

Dear Your Advice Column Is Not Better,

It certainly sounds like you have quite the conundrum but I must wonder. Is it her that is in love with you? Or might you be projecting somewhat? After all, it seems to me that you might have been the one who started it. If her responses, as you claim, indicate that she is clearly in love with you, then I am afraid that by your same logic you must simply be head over heels.

In that case, I would not recommend letting her down gently. Not because of her feelings - oh no. I doubt that she has feelings one way or the other about whether or not you actually get the guts to ask her out. No, I would highly recommend that you not let her down gently because, based on what I have inferred from you in this very anonymous and mysterious question, I worry for the implications on your psyche should you make the decision to try and turn this girl down before you have ever confessed your feelings.

No, my professional recommendation is that you suck it up and you go to her and you ask her out. She will likely turn you down, of course. I understand that she has high standards. But if you continue to keep your feelings pent up, it will only hurt you and those around you. Besides, if you do not give it a shot, then you will never know what could come from it. You never know. You might just be surprised by what she says, if you go about it the right way.

Also, I do know for a fact that you have her number.

Your move, Strider.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I was wondering, what's your advice for what to do on a first date? I just met this really pretty girl and we've been flirting a lot, and she agreed to go out with me. But now I have to actually think of a good date idea! What should I do?

Also, since it is a first date, I don't know THAT much about her, since I know that's usually what you tell people who come to you for relationship advice. I mean, that's what the first date is for, right?

Sincerely, Nervous First Timer

dear nervous,

okay yeah for once you got a situation in which im not gonna come over and sit your ass down about actually knowing your girlfriends interests because hey news flash shes not your girlfriend

yet

dont worry my man i will come up with a plan to fully woo this girl and you will then have a girlfriend and then maybe even a wife

just send me a wedding invite okay

actually this goes for everyone if i ever land you a wife or a husband or a gender non specific spouse send me a fuckin wedding invite i probably wont go but i might and i give you permission to advertise to all of your friends and family that you might have a minor local celebrity attending your big special day

but yeah first dates

first off you probably want to do something with a specific end time or else youre gonna end up trapped in a moment of like is it time to end this? do i wanna be the one who has to say i have to go? if nothing else give yourself an excuse to leave at a specific time like you gotta meet a friend or catch a bus

the other thing is that you gotta make sure you leave time to actually you know. talk.

i know seeing a movie seems really tempting and yeah movie dates can be fun but consider what youre actually doing on that date

youre staring at a screen while sitting next to somebody who is a borderline stranger and maybe enjoying a baller flick but are you really advancing that relationship at all?

nah

so yeah generally something like a lunch or a dinner can be pretty good but it can be tricky and awkward if you dont know what youre gonna talk about like what if you start talking and realize you got nothing in common that you actually care about

so thats either good for a second date or if youre like an awesome conversationalist who is always confident that youre able to keep a conversation going no matter who youre talking to

so its usually a good idea to do something thats a little more focused

if you do know anything about her then you can bring her to an event you know she might like

maybe a museum or something? aquarium? zoo? i guess a sport game could work but as i understand it there are drones that come around and demand that you kiss for the crowd so maybe thats not the best idea

anyways just make sure its something for you guys to talk about other than your own awkward burgeoning romance

anyways in the end the important thing is just be yourself dude

i can say from recent personal experience that being yourself works wonders and if it doesnt work wonders then that probably means that the relationship wasnt gonna work well anyways

just make sure you dont dump all your biggest darkest secrets on the first date though or else you dont give your nosy date anything to come back for the next time

but actually that maybe only works if your date is trying to pretend she is a therapist

anyways good luck dude hopefully that gave you some good ideas

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm in a kind of new relationship and it is going great! This guy is great and I could really see it going places. We've been going steady for about a month and a half now, but he's seemed really hesitant about telling other people about us. He won't list himself as being in a relationship on social media, and though some of our mutual friends obviously know, I don't know how vocal he's been about it with the other people in his life.

Now, we are gay, but he's also really openly gay to everybody that he knows, so I don't think that's a big part of it. Everybody knows he likes guys, so the fact that he's dating me shouldn't be that big of a deal. So what's going on? Does he just really value his privacy or is he planning to dump me soon? What signs should I be looking out for. (I need to know when it is appropriate to plan my tentacled sacrifice after all. :P)

Sincerely, Are We Dating Or What?

Dear Schrodinger's Boyfriend,

I'm afraid that going public with a relationship is always a tricky thing, regardless of whether or not the status of your sexuality is broadcast to the entire world. There are many, many reasons that your boyfriend may not want to go public with you. I will, of course, get the obvious out of the way. He may be possessed by one of the Old Ones, in which case, they are notoriously shy about their relationships. They have lived for millenia, so they feel no reason to rush through things. Be patient with them, and it will pay off in a major way.

Now, there is the (admittedly slim) chance that your beau is but a normal human man, with all of the normal lovable foibles of human men. If this is the case, I can see a few options.

The first is the one that I think you are the most scared of - he's Just Not That Into You. Either he is cheating on you (or perhaps you are the one he is cheating with?) or he has plans to end the relationship soon. I cannot predict which of these it is, but if you have mutual friends who know, it may not be a bad idea to ask one of them for their input on the situation. Naturally, if either of these is the case, offer his body up for possession by an Old One. You will have the same problem, but rest assured that the Old One will be faithful and loyal to you up until the point it decides to use your flesh organs as part of an important summoning ritual.

The second option is simply that he is shy or cautious. Maybe, despite being openly gay, he is still somewhat embarrassed by a relationship. Perhaps he has relatives who would harass you if they knew who you were.

Or perhaps he has been burned by rushing into a public relationship in the past.

Perhaps he was, once upon a time, with another boy who he went public with too soon. Perhaps the pressure of the relationship made him feel like he had to perform that relationship to an extent that felt unnatural to him. Perhaps he didn't like how it felt, having something so new, personal, and delicate being handed out to the world at large.

I don't know the type of people who might like to look at your boyfriend's life, but it is also entirely possible that he would not want them to know of any relationship of his, simply because they will find a way to butt their noses in and ruin it. An overbearing mother, perhaps? Nosy friends? A needy ex, who will proceed to harass you as soon as your name is out there as being his "Facebook Official" beau.

Needless to say, there are many reasons that he could want to refrain from making your relationship public that actually have very little to do with your relationship. In fact, it could even be a sign that he values your relationship. He values what you have so much that he doesn't want to share what you have with the rest of the world and thus risk losing it.

Though, of course, he could be cheating. It is possible that I am injecting some of my own thought processes too heavily into this answer. I do not truly know your boyfriend, so I cannot say for sure what his thoughts are. The best thing I can really advise you do is... ask.

Good luck.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I think that two of my friends have hooked up, but I'm not sure. They used to be really annoying to each other, and our other friends and I always joked that they were flirting, but I at least never actually meant it. But now they don't bother each other as much and they're just kind of... calm together. And there are a lot of times that the two of them are pretty obviously missing from group get togethers.

So... were they actually flirting?? Are they dating now?? What if they break up? That will just make them even more annoying!

Sincerely, Kind of Grossed Out

dear kind of

yeah your friends are definitely banging now and yeah they probably were always actually flirting but they might not have been aware of it

see sometimes if you are an asshole you dont know how to express affection apart from acting like an extra asshole to the people that you like and usually this is a self correcting feature since like youll drive away all of the people you like so they dont have to put your extra asshole-ness the real kicker comes when you end up crushing on somebody who can actually match your punches and act like an equally big asshole in return

its a very delicate dance honestly and you should just be glad that you got to view it in its natural habitat if only youd caught it on camera you could have sold that shit to discovery channel and got richard attenborough to dub over it with his cool nature documentary voice and here we see the assholes in their elaborate mating ritual though it may look like a fight to outsiders they are actually both getting really turned on by it and are gonna fuck vigorously in a month or two

anyways yeah its gonna suck if they break up but honestly what break up doesnt suck

i dont think the way that the flirting process happens really dictates how much a break up process is going to suck and from personal experience probably theyd be less annoying broken up than theyd be together since theyd just avoid each other which is a whole other kinda stress but yeah

i guess what im trying to say is yes your friends are definitely boning down embrace it and congratulate them or something also make sure that none of them are in charge of any advice columns

-- dj strider

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

Hello, I Am A Long Time Reader, First Time Writer

I Was Simply Wondering How One Would Hypothetically Go About Wooing An Advice Columnist That They Thought Was Very Clever And Humorous

This Is A Hypothetical Scenario Of Course I Was Just Wondering

Sincerely, A Fan

Dear Cooling Unit,

Honestly, I stared at this letter for quite a while, wondering how to answer it. I would have guessed that this was written by DJ Strider, in fact, if I didn't know for a fact that he would never put enough effort into writing something to press the shift button that often.

Regardless, I am sure that now is about the point where I am supposed to tell you how to woo me. This is where you expect me to say that the worst way to woo me is to slyly reference me in your public column for the whole world to see. Honestly, that is a technique that I would not have expected to work on paper, but it must have its merits.

At any rate, I suspect that technique would not work on most advice columnists, so I suppose I will simply continue under the assumption that this is the Very General And Hypothetical Advice that you assured me you were asking for.

My simple advice is thus: treat wooing them like you would any other person. If you do not know them in real life or do not have an easy way to contact them other than through their advice column, then pursuing a relationship is inadvisable. They will treat you as yet another fan, and I can say from personal experience that I am not terribly interested in dating fans.

"Fans," you see, tend to put you up on a pedestal. They take a look at you and think that you have hung the moon, which means that the only way for their opinion of you to go is down. Having a healthy, normal outlook on your strengths and weaknesses as a partner is down-grading their image of you, which means that no matter what, you will become a disappointment to them. The moment you mess up in front of somebody who idolizes you, it will feel like a betrayal to them, because you don't match the perfect image they have built in their head.

No, I would be far more interested in pursuing somebody who is my equal, through and through, and I suspect the same is true of most other hypothetical advice columnists. If you do find one who is excited by the fact you are a fan, they are undoubtedly an egotistical narcissist who wants to hear about how they hung the moon. While I do not deny that hearing of my moon-hanging exploits is quite the enjoyable experience for me, it is not a solid foundation for a relationship. If you find such a columnist who wants to build a relationship on that, might I recommend putting a sample of their blood into a summoning circle to bring about a personal curse on their house and home?

At any rate, any advice that is seeking out this particular advice columnist's interest will, sadly, be too little too late. Against all odds, I happen to be taken with somebody else.

-- The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

I kind of pissed my girlfriend off. How do I get back on her good side?

Sincerely, In the Dog House

dear i hope thats not a petplay reference holy shit,

okay see this is why people need to provide me more details about their problems like look at me i write long and heartfelt messages to all of you

like i really inject my soul into these answers make sure theyre multi paragraph endeavors and what do you give me?

"oh yeah my girlfriends pissed" like what do you want me to do with that theres so many factors at play here about how to get back on her good side or even if such a feat is possible cause trust me there are ways to get on a bad side permanently and for all i know you have done something worthy of the permanent bad side

like did you fucking go out and cheat on her?? if so then go ahead and dump yourself she doesnt deserve to put up with you

if you just like forgot to wash the dishes that one time or something???? yeah thats probably an offense you can recover from and im hoping that youre talking about something like that over the cheating because i am not a pro cheating advice column ill have you know

im a respectable advice column with family values and also a decent and healthy amount of respect for all romantic partners

anyways if you did something like forget an anniversary then that depends entirely on the girl and how long youve been together and how badly you forgot it

if it is a make up-able offense though what you do to get on her good side is......... also dependent on some awesome details that you didnt fucking give me

like my dude did you put effort into this question at all

did you just decide to mass produce this so that you could send it to multiple advice bogs? actually im gonna ask around and see if anybody else i know got it

anyways its a shit question put more effort in next time

some general shit you can do is obviously like buy her something that she likes take her on a special date to a place that she likes or try and do the thing you screwed up the first time but dont screw it up this time

but mostly just apologize

though i kinda hope you did that already because if you didnt even think to toss a lil im sorry in between the time you sent this and the time it took me to process it and actually respond then im sorry you might be beyond help

oh yeah that said one way to get on a girlfriends good side is to be a super famous advice columnist because then whatever you write will be public and apparently your girlfriend could be into public apologies like i dont know you didnt give me enough to work with

but i guess this is to say uh

sorry for joking about the thing you were right youre always right everybody should go to the best advice column ever the tentacled therapist for all of your best advice needs

(that was not a paid advertisement btw but i cant say that it was done entirely by choice)

((but no really im joshing you dont tell tt but her advice is actually pretty sound. even some of the ritual sacrifice stuff is kinda reasonable when you think about it. she usually only recommends it to assholes that deserve it its not just a blanket ritual since thatd have no meaning))

anyways good luck i guess?

like good luck if you arent a douchebag and i guess if you ARE a douchebag then good luck to your girlfriend i hope she dumps you and goes on to clearer waters

Dear Tentacled Therapist,

I'm thinking of proposing soon. What are your thoughts on a public proposal? On the one hand, it's kind of romantic getting to share a special moment with a lot of other people... but on the other hand, it does kind of trap the other person into saying yes because they don't want to seem like a jerk in front of a lot of other people. What do you think is the way to go with this one?

Sincerely, Nervous Proposer

Dear Nervous Proposition,

Whether or not a public proposal is a good idea depends entirely on the person that you are proposing to.

By this point, I would hope that you had some sort of idea about what the person you are proposing to might like as far as public proposals. Are they easily embarrassed by attention, or do they soak it up like they are plants who desperately need all available sunlight for photosynthesis? How keen are they on things such as surprise birthday parties? Have you ever thrown them a surprise birthday party? Perhaps, before considering marriage, you should throw them a surprise birthday party. You cannot truly know a person until you have seen their reaction to such a fiasco.

I would also recommend that the two of you have discussed the topic of marriage before you even consider popping the question to your prospective fiance. I wouldn't propose until the two of you consider yourselves to be - and I apologize for my use of this cliché - "engaged to be engaged." Make sure that your partner is planning on the prospect of a marriage with you.

You might even consider doing two proposals - one more subdued, in private, just to make sure that they say yes. Then you can propose that you have a big surprise that the two of you get to share with everybody else, and you get to propose a second time without any of the stress.

Now, personally, public proposals are not my style, and anybody dating me would know better than to do such a proposal. But.

That is assuming that they can beat me to the punch. ;)

I wish you luck in your endeavors, and I am sorry there was no good place for sacrifices to the Old Ones in this week's column.

Sincerely, The Tentacled Therapist

Dear DJ Strider,

Who should I pick to be my Maid of Honor? I have two really good friends. One I am closer to, and I know she'll probably pick me to be her maid of honor... but the other one is a LOT better at planning shit out. I know that if I pick her, my wedding will be run like a well-oiled machine, but I also don't want to upset my other friend. Then again, the friend who's good at planning might be offended that I chose the closer friend, and be frustrated when she has to deal with her bad planning as a bridesmaid.

So... who do I pick? It feels like I lose no matter what.

Sincerely, Fretting Fiance

dear ff

yo i fucking hear you on this shit weddings are the most stressful thing that has ever been invented by man

i mean man in the generic sense btw not the male human sense though i guess it might have also been made by a male human? idk i should ask about the history of weddings later maybe

anyways its all politics dont let anybody tell you any different

like you gotta be oh so careful with your seating placements at the reception or ol grandma berthas gonna tear the eyes out of uncle jimmy and we cant risk getting that blood all over the table cloths or else were gonna have to pay a really big fee to the table cloth company we hired and were already gonna be broke because of the honeymoon

and yeah we gotta make sure that shellys the bridesmaid second from the left because otherwise shell block out kelly in all the wedding pictures and kelly will pitch a fit

anyways i guess the easiest thing to do is going to just be to talk to them

you could always offer to split the honor between the two of them too if your planny friend is as good as planning as you say i bet you can come up with a good way to work 2 maids of honor into the ceremony

also uh i guess this is a good a time as any to make a lil announcement guys

so after april rolls around im not gonna be dj strider anymore

better get ready to start making your pleas for help out to dj lalonde

-- the artist formerly known as dj strider

#homestuck #daverose #dersecest #though they are not related in this fic #stripe writes #stripe au challenge

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puclpodcast · 6 years

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PDL Week 9 Recap

The final stretch before playoffs has begun and there are several teams fighting for their shot at playoffs

DEP vs. ITA: 0-2

NWN vs. TOT: 6-0

HEH vs. PIP: 0-5

VAV vs. LOL: 0-6

BFS vs. NYY: 6-0

COG vs. BAL: 0-1

SHS vs. NJJ: 6-0

BEN vs. AUK: 0-5

SLC vs. MID: 0-1

HFW vs. BLP: 3-0

JAX vs. MIN: 0-3

MIL vs. DCC: 0-4

This week brought some surprises and some very close games. There are no longer any teams that are undefeated after this week which means the pressure for a perfect season is off and now the fun can really begin. These games are very close and everyone has a chance to have a strong finish to the season, but lets jump into the playoff picture and how the teams can make playoffs

Playoff Picutre

Corsola Cola Division

BFS: to get first round bye needs to have a better record than NWN

1 win guarentees 1/2 for playoffs

NWN: To get first round bye needs to have same or better record than BFS

1 win guarentees 1/2 for playoffs

VAV: needs to win out to hit 6-6 (potential best of the rest seed)

to get second in division needs: to win out, BFS lose out

DEP: needs to win out to hit 6-6 (potential best of the rest seed)

to get second in division needs: to win out, BFS lose out

Green Tauros Division

COG: Guarenteed 1/2 in division for playoffs

1 win guarentees #1 in division

SLC: To get 1st in division needs COG to lose out and SLC win out

To guarentee playoffs needs SHS to lose 1 game or win out

SHS: to get second in division needs to win out and SLC lose 2 of last 3 games

Winning 2 games gives 7-5 record which should be good for playoffs

Toxipepsi Division

HFW: 1 win guarentees 1/2 in playoffs

2 wins guarentees first round bye or 1 win and a PIP loss

PIP: Win out and HFW lose 2+ games to get first round bye

To get second in division needs a better record than ITA

1 wins puts them in 7 win bracket

ITA: To get first in division needs to win out, HFW to lose out, and PIP lose 1 game

to get second in division needs to have the same record or better than PIP

2 wins puts team in 7 win bracket

LOL/BLP: winning out can put team in 6-6 (potential best of the rest seed)

Rhyhorn Steakhouse Division

There are so many varients of how this can go im only going to cover how each team can hit number 1 and get the first round bye

MID: Win out/ better record than BAL and the division will guarentee 1st round bye

2 wins guarentees 1/2 in division

BAL: win out = 2nd in division unless record tied with MID then 1

MIN: to get first win out, MID loses 2, BAL loses 1 and MIL loses 1

DCC: to get first win out, MID loses 2, MIN loses 1

MIL: to get frist win out, MID lose out, and DCC loses 1

AUK needs to win out get to 7-5 based off breakers it is very likely that 6-6 will not be good enough to make playoffs for AUK

To show how crazy this can get, after the next two weeks the rhyhorn steakhouse could have 5 teams with a 8-3 record. That would make it where a best of the rest team could have a better record than some of the divisional teams. This goes to show that the Rhyhorn steakhouse is not to be trifled with.

Trades

With only 2 weeks left for trades everyone seems to be slowing down as we only 1 trade this week

SLC Landorus-T T1 DEP Zygarde 50% DEP Zygarde 50% T1 SLC Landorus-T

The Salt Lake Combees trade Landorus-T to the Detroit Pyroars for Zygarde 50%. I think this can benefit both teams as they are trading 1 monster in the format for another. Both have a 4x ice weakness and can set up so there isnt much difference other than the utility of each mon which is up to the coaches to utilize.

Power Rankings with Geo

This is the last Power Rankings before the season ends and we make our final rankings so give it your all in the next 3 weeks and you might make your way into the top 10.

Clod9 Geo 1 Miami Delphox Columbus Gallades 2 Hartford Wailmers Miami Delphox 3 Columbus Gallades Hartford Wailmers 4 Baltimore Oricorios Baltimore Oricorios 5 Norwalk Nosepass DC Crobats 6 DC Crobats Miami Lanturn 7 Salt Lake Combees Blackfoot Scrafty 8 Minnesota Nidokings Norwalk Nosepass 9 Pittsburgh Piplups Salt Lake Combees 10 Miami Lanturn Minnesota Nidokings

There have been a lot of teams that have proved themselves over the past few weeks. DCC started 0-3 and is now 6-3 and near the top of the standings. This only goes to show that the season ends only when you give up and with hard work and determination you can make a difference and climb the ladder to the top of the league. This is just one success story of how teams are improving and that no one should be counted out until the final mon goes down. Keep up the good work and we will see you next week.

Interview with The Seth Vilo

This week I’m joined by the stall master himself Seth Vilo!

Clod9: Thank you Seth Vilo for joining us this week. Let’s start at the beginning: how did you prepare for this draft?

Seth Vilo: I prepared by doing thorough planning about this season’s evil plans. How would I change up my normal team strategy and keep it interesting? How could I resurrect Gen IV teams I had made so long ago? I had the plan ready for Draft Day, only to watch as the linchpins of Flygon and Scizor were taken from my evil grasp. Soooo I reverted to my normal team style with a couple fun new things. In picking the S-tier, I looked up at my girlfriend who was already bored of me staring at a computer for hours drafting, and asked “should I take the fluffy Dragon, or the jet plane Dragon?” So that’s how I started with Mega-Altaria. “Prep”.

C9: Has your team performed up to your standards so far?

SV: Yes and no. I had a lot of fun with it, which is what I was going for. Other than my battle against the utterly terrifying Fack Luigi, I never felt completely unprepared. There was always a way to wriggle out of something. My wave of trades the other week was just my mood shifting; I just really, really wanted to use Latias and Breloom all of a sudden and found a way how. I’m excited to see how they do in the last 3 battles!

C9: With only 3 games to go how do you think you will fare?

SV: I think I’ll do decently! As I write this, I’m pondering how to prep against you, actually, which is my next battle at time of writing. With a few losses under my belt, I feel a lot less pressure on myself to do well, and can have more fun. It’s almost freeing, and I’m really excited!!

C9: Who are/were you most looking forward to battling this season? SV: Goodness, I’m gunna sounds like a suck-up but I really just enjoy battling anyone I’m matched up with! Newer players and older players alike, I just like having fun. That being said, I am excited to exact my revenge on Zcron…

C9: I know I’m looking forward to battling you this week, are there any hints you want to give the readers about our match up? SV: THE EON TWIN SHOWDOWN! Who will come out on top?? PLAAAACE YOUR BETS! But in all seriousness, I’m hoping to pull a couple secret fun ideas out of my bag of evil tricks [evil laugh].

C9: Where were/are you least looking forward to battling this season?

SV: Oh, so many people… Namely: anyone in my division, my inconsistent Wifi, the battery on my 3DS that I had to replace, even myself on what Silvally to pick this week. Did I mention my whole division? Cause my whole division. RHYHORN STEAKHOUSE!!!!

C9: Why did you choose the team name, Miami Lanturns? SV: Here we go! I was Googling team names I could manipulate back in Season 1. I stumbled upon the Miami Dolphins logo, and with my newfound Photoshop skills took on the project of replacing the dolphin with a favorite of mine, Lanturn. I did that, and here we are! The logo you’re seeing was redone by the amazing Ozzy, cause mine was…. Too close to the original to put on a shirt.

C9: Were there any secret techs that you brought for your matchups that you didn’t get to showcase? SV: There were a few scattered here and there of me trying to be super clever. I had a Rowap + Rain Dance Milotic against Fack Luigi, Ditto strategy in general, and even random Mirror Coat and Magic Coat on some sneaky things. Often, Silvally is my tech I bring that is least used, which is actually physically painful to type as that’s my second favorite Pokemon.

C9: Who would you say is the mon you are most excited to use on your team this year? SV: Well, given I made a billion trades the other week, right now I’d answer this question with Latias and Breloom. They are another two of my favorites and I’m super excited to find fun ways to play them. What’s that? Why yes I completed that “Favorite of Each Type” chart recently and that’s how I know this, thanks for asking!

C9: You are currently in the most brutal division with 5 of the 6 teams still in contention for number 1. How do you think your division will end up? Where do you think you will fall?

SV: RHYHORN STEAKHOUSE REPRESENT!!!! Bow before us and tremble in fear! Even if I didn’t end up contributing much except 84-turn battles… I think it’ll be decent for the Miami Lanturns, but not as strong as I’ve done before. Both good and bad, as I said earlier. With every loss brings more memes…

C9: Let’s learn about you as a Pokemon Fan. When did you start listening to PUCL?

SV: I started listening to PUCL in about February of 2017. Having gotten into the TCG heavily at the time, I was looking for something else to fill the long car rides of work. I happened upon the Sun / Moon TCG Review episode, and have been hooked ever since.

C9:What Pokemon generation did you start with?

SV: Gen 1 all the way boi!! I started on a Pokemon Blue Version that I got for Christmas one year, bundled with a brand new GameBoy. The rest is history.

C9: What is your favorite region?

SV: Hoenn all the way. Kanto is boring, Johto is okay but never really stuck for me. My most formative years in Pokemon was Ruby and Sapphire. That was also when both me and my siblings could play, what with them being old enough to speak and all, so it unlocked more levels of fun (and getting my butt handed to me by my brother’s Flygon, DARKNESS). I love the trumpets, I love the color, I love the plants, I LOVE THE WATER, and I love the pokemon introduced. #GEN3BESTGEN

C9: Who is your favorite Pokemon?

SV: Sableye all the way. It’s the Stitch of Pokemon.

C9: If you had to pick: Attack or Special Attack?

SV: It’s really mixed here… For setup, Attack all the way. The moves are so much better and more threatening. But for general nuking, (almost) nothing is better than clicking Draco Meteor and watching the opponent be reduced to a fine red mist. If I had a Remoraid to my head, I’d probably say Special Attack.

C9: What is your battle style: Stall/Hyper Offense/Bulky Offense/Balance?

SV: Haha. But honestly, I’m not the “STALL” player I’m made out to be, says the defendant from the stand. My teams usually start with an endgame sweeper of some sort that is bulky (Zygarde, Latias-M, Clefable, etc), than a stupid bulky core is built around them. My end-game is always to whittle, and then sweep. But if you can’t break past my defensive line and I don’t have to lift a finger, that’s fine by me!

C9: Do you prefer Speed or Trick Room?

SV: Probably Trick Room, While I like a lot of fast things, it’s not my usual style. Stakatakatakatakatakataka is really fun to use, and I like generally turning the tables Old-Man’s-Chess-Game-Before-A-Bug’s-Life style.

C9: What is your favorite Weather; Hail/Sand/Rain or Sun?

SV: Rain all the way, both in Pokemon and IRL. #BackInGen5, Rain + Volcarona was one of my favorite teams to run.

C9: Electric/Misty/Grassy or Psychic Terrain?

SV: As the Grass-type gym leader, I am contractually obligated to say Grassy Terrain. It also happens to be my favorite outside of contract.

C9: Favorite status to inflict: Sleep/Freeze/Paralysis/Burn or Poison?

SV: That’s a tough battle between Burn and Badly Poisoned. I love both, Poison for “stalling”, and Burn because of its Attack-drop utility. Again with a Remoraid to my head, probably Burn.

C9: Have you watched the Pokemon anime? If yes, what is your favorite Theme song?

SV: I have watched the anime, but really need to watch it more because what I’ve seen of Sun and Moon is incredible. But question two, is that even a question? Original all the way!

C9: You are one of the Gym leaders for the PUCL Summer League, what encouraging words do you have for any potential battlers?

SV: Have fun! The Gym Leader team is all really excited to get this Summer going, and feel free to ask questions and battle again and again! The whole goal is to have fun.

To wrap up, I shall quote the encouraging words of Keldeo, “Fite me.”

C9: Thank you once again for joining us this week! Good luck in your future battles! That’s all the time we have this week. See y’all again next time!

from PDL Week 9 Recap

#pokemon #pucl #pokemon podcast #ORAS #nintendo #video games

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