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#im tagging bc i want to know if anyone has written it and if there's a fic like this or sth
hellhoundlair · 6 months
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so mad abt the ethel cain shit rn
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beautifel · 7 months
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i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am
#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately#like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad#i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic#and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me#the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic#let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything#like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing#i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard#the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know#with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things#n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case#it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has.#the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others#this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate#its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences#its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control#ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship#we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people#so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there#ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere
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slut4msby · 3 months
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first kiss. miya osamu x reader
+ tags & warnings; not proofread & v rushed </3 also like quiet a lot of swearing (mainly just the use of the word 'shit')
+ a/n; day 6/7!! one more day to go before i go take a LONGGGG nap (i wish :<) but yeah this isn't the best written but here u go bc im on my osamu shit atm <3
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“So you’re seriously telling me, THE Miya Osamu has never kissed anyone?” You teased the now embarrassed dark harder boy. “Like THE Miya Osamu, like brother to like the schools biggest flirt Miya Atsumu? What’s next your brother hasn’t either? I always knew the Miya twins were FULL of surprises but this, THIS is new.”
“Ew, I don’t wanna know who my brother is kissing and shit.” He said defensively.
“Why?” You questioned.
“Whaddya mean why? Because it’s weird he is like my brother I don’t wanna know what girls he’s snogging and sh-”
“No, I mean like why haven’t ya kissed anyone ‘Samu?” You cut his ramble off, “like I’m sure there's plenty of girls willing to, you have just as many fangirls as Atsumu, just his are louder and more annoying. And apart from that there’s no denying you're an attractive man. I mean you take care of yourself as well.”
“I-I don’t know, Y/N. What I do know is I don’t wanna kiss some fangirl or some shit, I want it to be with someone I care about I guess.”
“Awww 'Samu, that's so cute.” You gushed at his response.
“Shut it, Y/N.” 
As the conversation comes to halt the school bell rings, ending your first break of the day. “I’ll see ya later, ‘Samu. You smile walking down the hall to your class. You sit in your seat next to Osamu’s twin brother, Atsumu.
“Hey, Y/N-chan~” He says as you sit down.
“Hey ‘Tsumu? Ya know ‘Samu has never kissed anyone, like isn’t that just kinda bizarre. Like he’s funny, a good cook, handsome, good at sport ya know what more could a girl want? Like I know he’s seen women and shit but I dunno it’s just weird, I kinda feel bad.” You say towards Atsumu.
“If ya care so much Y/N, why don’t you just kiss him or something? I’m sure that’d shut him up. Ya both never shut up about each other, it’s kinda annoying.” 
“He talks about me?!” You say with a pink stain spreading across your face.
“Did ya hear what Y/N-chan said earlier, did you see Y/N-chan today, I think I’m gonna bring Y/N-chan some food tomorrow, Y/N-chan this, Y/N- chan that and every time I tell him to shut his trap.” Atsumu sighed, placing his head in his hands, “and yer not any better Y/N.”
“I don’t talk about him that much.” You say crossing your arms, frowning at Atsumu. Atsumu just rolled his eyes in response. Not long after your teacher began teaching her lesson, you couldn’t stop thinking about the twins' words. “If ya care so much Y/N, why don’t you just kiss him”  “to be with someone I care about I guess” “Ya both never shut up about each other”. There was certainly no denying your attraction to the silver haired twin. But in your years of knowing him, neither of you showed any romantic interest in each other. You had both seen a range of people, every breakup the same. Ending with one comforting the other, “they were such a dick anyway” or “I never really liked them to begin with.”
As the school day concluded, you decided to watch the volleyball teams practice. A common occurrence at this point.
“Oh hey, Y/N.” Suna said as he entered the gym, Osamu behind him. Osamu looked up to give you a smile, which you returned. No hey or hug like you were used to. There was something different about Osamu this time.
As you watched the boys practice, you would have some casual conversation with the team. Giggling and smiling, but never Osamu. It was always Osamu, but not since your conversation earlier.
Eventually Osamu was alone for the first time the whole practice, so you decided to confront him on his weird behaviour. “‘Samu?” You ask softly, his head poking up to look at you, “you’re acting weird, is everything okay?”
“Yeah I’m fine, Y/N. Just a little stressed, school and all that,” He mumbled softly before returning back to practise leaving you dumbfounded. 
“You know that’s not the reason right, Y/N?” Suna said from behind you. Causing you to look behind you, giving him a look of curiosity. “Apparently Atsumu sent him a message earlier, I dunno what it was exactly about but it was something about you that’s for sure.” After Suna finished speaking he grabbed his water bottle and walked away.
You couldn’t focus on the last part of their practices, instead you were left wondering from Suna’s words. As practice concluded, you could hear the Miya’s bickering as you began leaving before Osamu called out to you, “Y/N-chan!” You stop in your tracks turning to face the twin jogging towards you, “can we talk for a second, please?”
“Oh sure.”
You and Osamu walked in silence, an awkward silence in drastic contrast to the usual comfortable silence before reaching a private area.
“I uhm- about earlier I’m sorry for like acting weird…” he said fiddling with his fingers, “it’s just ‘Tsumu sent me a stupid text and It’s just like bothering me and-”
“Osamu.” You cut him off, looking at him in the face, “can I kiss you? I know you said you wanted it to be someone you care about-”
Your words were cut off as Osamu placed his hand on your chin, pulling you closer before your lips collided. The world seemed to fade away as your lips met, a fusion of unspoken emotions and shared history. As you both pulled away, heat rising on both of your faces. Before Osamu let out a chuckle, “did ‘Tsumu get you too?”
“Mhm. Glad he did though.” You say wrapping your arms around, Osamu. 
“Fucking finally. You owe me some puddin’.” Atsumu said towards Suna, who just rolled his eyes in response.
©slut4msby.
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the-cookie-of-doom · 20 days
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Cookie's Fic Recs
I feel like no one really does rec lists anymore! But last night I was feeling and sappy and mushy and decide to put together my own little list of fics I love. These are in no particular order, and they don't follow any real theme/tropes other than I dearly love them all, and you should definitely give them a read!
*I tried to tag everyone I could find a blog for, but if I missed anyone, please let me know I can tag them!
The Instinctual Gravitation Towards Warmth by kimkhimhant (@kimkhimhant)
This is my comfort fic. No joke, this is what I read when I want to die. It’s angsty as all hell, it’s made me cry, but it is so indescribably good. Kim is an addict going through recovery, finding love and family along the way. He hits rock bottom—arguably multiple times—but always claws his way back, always with the support of the people that love him. It’s such a beautifully written and cathartic story, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it. But it’s almost certainly the fic I’ve reread the most. 
Error in the Code by BlackwaterVial (@blackwatervial)
Sneaking this VegasPete onto my otherwise KimChay list bc it altered me. I think most people already know what it is, but jic: it’s a sci-fi/cyberpunk/android AU, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever read. I go feral for androids and this fic delivers in all the best ways. The world building alone makes me weep. But all of the characters interactions, the way we get such an in depth feel for everyone despite the limited PoV, and the most satisfying take I’ve seen on android artificial intelligence ever—I can’t recommend this story enough. 
Idiots & Idioms by snickerdoodlles (@snickerdoodlles)
This one is actually a series, and it's genuinely so much fun to read. For the most part it's a SocMed fic with Chay taking over Wik's twitter and making it everyone's problem, and it's fkn hysterical. This one is actually a series, and it's genuinely so much fun to read. For the most part it's a SocMed fic with Chay taking over Wik's twitter and making it everyone's problem, and it's fkn hysterical.
Silver for Truth by snickerdoodlles (@snickerdoodlles)
This fic is the Kim & Khun vs. Tawan team-up we deserve. Kim is a ruthless, demented bitch, that's too cool to beat Tawan to death bc what if he messes up his wrists right before a show?? Big, get 'im. Kim is the feral-est cat ever, leaving behind evidence and bodies for Kinn bc saying "hey bro, I still love you/look out for you" is too much emotion for him. The fic is also from Tawan's PoV which also makes it the funniest thing ever, for reason that I won't spoil <3
The Wiked Lies We Live by shubaka (@shubaka)
Oh my god, this fic. Canon divergence (technically??) where most things happen as normal... except KimChay have been bodyswaped at the start of it. The little twists Shu puts on the events of canon, given it isn't the correct characters experiencing them (such as Big being very confused about why Kim is suddenly nice to him??) are so much fun.
A Portrait of Affection by froginthesun (@froginthesun)
Kim is an artist and Chay is the part time nude model he hires. ‘Nuff said right there, except no it isn’t, this fic is beautiful. Kim’s frustration with his craft is palpable, and so is the way he rediscovers his passion through Chay. The writing is wonderfully detailed, every chapter felt like walking through a museum. And tension slowly building between them—unf. 
Sunshine in My Closet by moneskin 
This is an A/B/O AU that is so satisfying to read. Typical hilarious boundary violations (Chay stealing Kim’s clothes, a bewildered Kim handing over a freshly worn outfit, having barely any idea who this strange kid is) characteristic of the AU, but then the story also delves deeper into more serious topics. Chay has a history of abuse from a past alpha that he has to learn how to navigate with Kim, who is incredibly patient and works hard to make Chay feel safe and loved. Overall a very sweet and comforting read. Seriously, this fic makes me melt.
Your Body Feels Like Disrespect by Blue_Jay (@bluejayfiction)
This fic is so funny because it begins with Kim blurting out, in the middle of an Important Mafia MeetingTM, that he and Chay aren’t having sex, and then wanting to die about it. Followed by Kim’s family trying very hard to both support and terrorize him. It’s hilarious, sexy, and one of my favorite reads when I need a pick me up. (Bless Kinn’s determination to be a Good and Supportive Brother, and Vegas for being the Worst Person Ever.) 
In Silent Screams (In Wildest Dreams) by BelladonnaWyck and StratsWrites 
This is definitely a darker fic. There’s DubCon, Kim is generally Sketchy, but it’s very hot. And I love explorations of his character where he isn’t just outwardly psychotic and cruel. This fic shows the kind of dark that I think Kim could have been, if you just tilted his character a little to the left. He still seems very much the way he is in canon, but he’s also… a lot more calculating and cold, sometimes. I love it. 
Forget-me-always by bisexualbard (@bisexualbard-writes)
I cannot sing the praises of this fic enough. I think it’s probably tied for IGTW for my most-read fics. I’ve probably read this one more often in reality, but only bc it’s shorter. But oh my god, does it hurt. Kim gets struck with amnesia post-break up, does a little light stalking, and gets Chay to help him learn/remember who he is. In the process realizes that wow his life sucks, and there’s no way he wants to go back to it. Especially if he’s the kind of person that hurt Chay. He would rather start over. (Ofc, he doesn’t get to). This fic makes me cry, it’s so good 
Coffeehouse Play by AirgodSLV
This is a canon divergence AU that I adore. The KimChay characterization is on point. I love that despite everything going on around them, they also get to be two boys that hang out and play videogames and try to shove each other off the couch while Porsche makes dinner. Given the age difference it’s so easy to make Kim Older and MatureTM, but he’s still a kid, and this story never once forgets that. It felt so honest and true to his character that Kim does have a lot of plans, and he’s very smart, but he’s also still so young, and sometimes shit just goes wrong. 
Want and Need by bisexualbard (@bisexualbard-writes)
God, this fic. T h i s f i c. Post-canon Chay goes to therapy and becomes a camboy (in that order) and it’s delicious. Watching the steady breakdown of his and Porsche’s relationship is so satisfying. Everything one of them does to make things worse feels awful, but is so in character that it’s hard to be mad at them for their decisions. Kim readily giving up control if it means he can be with Chay, and Chay getting a crash course in how to dom. All of it is just. So good. This is such a good fic
Your Look, Through This Lens by WildelyDawn (@wildelydawn)
AU where Chay becomes Kim’s photographer. This fic emotionally hobbled me. Just a fair warning. You will cry. But that said, the ending isn’t nearly as sad as the tags would have you believe! At least in my opinion. I think it’s fairly open/hopeful, and beautiful either way. I love the way this fic shows how Kim balances being Wik while also being part of the mafia. And I love how temperamental he is; always hot and cold, while remaining pretty even as far as how he expresses himself. Always very aloof/detached, just out of reach, with Chay never really sure where he stands/what Kim wants. But at the same time the fic happens just before Kim gets a big break, and the subtle ways he shows his excitement and nerves as things start coming together—it’s wonderful. 
Love’s a Two-Way Dream by giraffeter (@giraffeter)
This fic is dark. Kim atticwife’s Chay and it’s not a good time. But!! It’s not just dark for the sake of it; Kim is a genuine sociopath, yes, but it unfolds slowly. You get a sense of creeping dread as he does things that are just a little bit off, until finally the Big Bad Thing happens. At first he seems normal, playing the part of good and respectful boyfriend. But it just goes downhill from there, and I love every word of it. The ending especially is very satisfying. 
In the Dark of the Night by bisexualbard (@bisexualbard-writes)
Not to recc everything Bard writes, but… This is a rape recovery fic that I feel handles the subject matter incredibly well. There’s no gratuitous rape scenes, and even with the flashbacks, I don’t remember any of them being incredibly detailed. I think Bard handled the fic with incredible respect and grace. This is another one that’ll make you cry. The way Chay handles his past trauma while trying to have a relationship with Kim is so painfully real. And so is the way Kim wants to help him, but doesn’t really know how. But they figure it out together, and it’s amazing. (Also Kim acquires a stabby child in the form of an OC that I adore.) I just love the path Chay's recovery takes in this fic, it's so visceral and relatable. It's all around just. So good. I love this fic for the same reason I love IGTW and it's because both fics show an excellent depiction of recovery.
Chains and Crowns, A Flower Can Both Make by Sweet_William (@sweet-william-writes)
Incredibly Regency AU. Historical AUs are some of my all time favorites, and this is everything I didn’t know I needed. Sweet_William captures the essence of an Austen-esque style while still making this feel like the KinnPorsche characters. Chay is wonderfully feisty, Kim is delightfully complex, and the various family interactions always had me cackling. 
Simple Little Secrets by CorvusCloudburst (@cloudburst-ink)
Chay sees the future when he touches people. Kim thinks he’s either insane, a spy, or a conman. Oh, and Chay’s visions of Kim? Always sex-related. The shenanigans are endless. What more do you need?? They’re both crazy4crazy and it’s my favorite thing ever. Their banter is snappy and fun, the writing is sexy, and it never once gave me second-hand embarrassment despite Chay’s horrible situations. 
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undobutton · 6 months
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I agree with you totally and to add something, Im white and it is extremely easy to be respectful? Like you dont have to be too smart to know that because you are white that doesnt mean everyone else reading is, and the people that are like “im just not used to it/ idk how to not write white reader/ being inclusive is too difficult" and else are really self-centered and probably kind of racist people, not only to black people but to any POC. If you are going to describe the reader as white, dont even call it an "x reader"🙄
this! this! i gotta say:
WHITE IS NOT THE DEFAULT.
STRAIGHT IS NOT THE DEFAULT.
FEMALE IS NOT THE DEFAULT.
CIS IS NOT THE DEFAULT.
ABLE-BODIED IS NOT THE DEFAULT.
i feel like some people need to hear that. there is no default besides being human. and hate to burst anyone's bubble but we're all fucking humans. You and your experiences are not universal.
not everyone blushes visibly, or has hair that fingers can be ran through, or can go straight to cuddling someone as soon as they get through the door.
sometimes our skin is too dark, or our hair is too thick, or getting free of our outside clothes is the most important thing to do when getting home. and thats okay.
adding a little "written with white reader mind" or "written with straight reader in mind" or "written with able-bodied reader in mind" helps so much. like let. us. know. please.
cause it hurts to be knee deep in a fic and then have to recalibrate and ask yourself if this character would like you if you're not white. and feeling like the answer is no? that shit SUCKS ASS.
and if you feel called out by this? That's fine. you don't deserve death or a curse on your whole bloodline. just make the effort to acknowledge this and add those warnings in the future. adjust the tags you use in your fics! I'll do it too!
If I make a mistake tell me! don't tell me to die bc i forgot a warning. be humane.
the problem is when people act like they are above adding these warnings. or acknowledging that they accidentally considered their fic inclusive when it wasn't.
im not writing all this to make people feel bad. I'm just passionate and like making bold words and using all caps. If you realize that you've been doing some of these things just make your future works more inclusive or add those warnings.
if you "don't know how to write a non-white reader" or something. the xreader tag is for everyone, sure. but you can tag your fic as xreader and xwhite!reader or xfem!reader. it's not hard, really.
i also don't want to take away from anon's original statements. so i just want to ask anyone reading this to maybe reread what they said. since i drifted away from that topic and i think they said it very well!
also wanna add that xwhite!reader isn't even really a tag? like it didn't pop up as i typed it so.. maybe we can make that a thing?
-button 🌺
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fic rec friday 13
welcome the the tenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.
1. i was always yours (even before you knew it) by paladarns
Lance thought Keith was just an asshole. Lance has always thought of Keith as an asshole, all throughout traveling into space in a large mechanical lion, all throughout bonding moments. All throughout becoming closer as teammates and friends.
Even now, with his hands pinned above his head and Keith’s thighs straddling his waist, Lance thinks Keith is an asshole.
Lance had always thought he could see right through people, but now he’s starting to think he has a bad judgement of people.
---------- a fic in which keith is obvious and lance is a bit of a gay nervous wreck
takes place as if season 1 is the only season to exist but its now years later
so many things to love about this fic. so so many. so i am going to list them. a) secret relationship bc i love that shit and eat it up every time, b) ‘takes place as if season 1 is the only season to exist but its now years later’ -- paladarns my love thank you for this truly excellent description of where i write my fics like 80% of the time. c) keith has game, and d)  HE WAS ALWAYS KEITHS EVEN BEFORE HE KNEW IT IM SOBBING BEST TROPE BEST TROPE
2. Wake Up, Sleephyhead! by @transbakugou
Keith has never loved someone like he loves Lance. Lance is his sun, his stars, his happiness. Their hands fit together like they were created to do nothing but hold each other, and he fits perfectly inside of Lance's arms. But he can never let anyone find out how much he loves this boy, how wholly and endlessly. Who knows what the Galra would do with that kind of information?
One morning, the lie comes crashing down around them.
Maybe it won't be as bad as they feared.
i love gay whipped klance and truly every single fic that has ever been written based on a vine is truly amazing, this fic is no exception. also secret relationship lol i am a sucker
3. Something Secret by @kingswriting
It was funny at first. Their arguments became more banter than actual disagreements, yet the entire team continued to assume they were at each other’s throats.
And Lance knows they’re not. He is fully aware that every sharp word, every sly smirk, every heavy handed push, and everything in between is anything but malicious.
But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss the softer side of things.
Or, Lance and Keith are in a secret relationship, but honestly want to omit the 'secret' part.
okay u can always tell what tag im following obsessively at certain times lol. for yall i present yet another secret relationship fic. ahem. this one is cute! banter and flirting and misleading and kisses and GOD its so sweet
4. Things Held Sacred by yarrie
So maybe, just maybe, Pidge was right. Maybe, just maybe, Keith had shot himself in the foot with his first attempt at resolving the blanket-hogging situation, because now Lance seemed to think it was a game and the rules were: steal the blankets, get sex.
To be fair, Keith hadn't exactly been...dissuading him very well.
okay so heres how this works. every fic rec friday so far has been from a specific collection of mine called ‘rereadables’, which was literally started because of this fic. i dont even know what specific part of this fic gets to me so hard, but you know when you read something that makes your stomach go all swoopy? and you can’t stop smiling? thats this fic! i remember i finished it for the first time and then i scrolled right back up to the top and read it again, then again, and again. like i cannot get over this fic. it gives me butterflies every time
5. Communication is key, they say by @ellana17
They already had communication issues before… Or: a malfunction with a healing pod leaves Lance able to speak only Spanish for a few days.
the idea of lance getting stuck in spanish and then almost immediately using that to flirt with keith without him knowing. like. i love that SO much that is quite possibly one of the funniest concepts to exist
that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!
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kurtsascot · 1 month
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thank you @forabeatofadrum for tagging me <3
the next three chapters of klueless are written but need very much edited and as im doing that im writing the next chunk to keep the motivation alive. its working. wip wednesdays also help.
okay so. blina.
Finn had warned that Tina’s disproportionately confident and can hijack conversation. Blaine has proudly said that Tina is a bit of a diva. So, Kurt was fully prepared to only tolerate her company.
Kurt, though, wasn’t prepared for Tina to talk nonstop for the whole forty-five minutes that he’s been in the car, and, as the minutes tick by, the list of his gripes only grows.
Tina turns up and down the radio without rhyme or reason and is seemingly incapable of letting a song finish. She’s been chewing gum the whole car ride and Kurt’s convinced that the entirety of Ohio can hear it. She’s a serial sloucher, and, as she laughs at and with Blaine, she keeps rocking back and forth and the leather seat keeps squeaking against her thighs. It’s keeping Kurt awake. It’s keeping Kurt tense.
Honestly, Tina’s not even that pretty. Kurt doesn’t know what Blaine sees in her.
tagging: @daisyishedwig @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @backslashdelta @cryscendo @fallevs @wowbright @gleefulpoppet @hevanderson @boltgunkiller @burkleswinifred @blurglesmurfklaine @unholy-fabray @warblercore @esilher @porcelainvino and anyone else that i forgot/missed/wants to PLEASE PLEASE art or fic or whatever!!!
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loserdiaz · 1 year
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temptation tuesday
Rules: share something about an idea you have/something that's speaking to you/an au you'd like to see and are considering writing/etc. etc. Basically anything that is tempting you away from your current wips!
tagged by the lovely @buddiearemydads
chimney can't keep a secret fic: so eddie and buck want to propose and somehow chim finds out and he has to keep BOTH their secrets as every proposal goes wrong/plans get changed, and he's losing his mind bc buck and eddie are idiots and he really hates them. and like maybe buck goes to maddie's to ask for advice and he's so excited and only chim is there but he can't wait and he just has to tell someone he's gonna propose to eddie !!!! and chimney is like you fucking idiot why would you tell ME and then chimney walks on eddie admiring an engagement ring and he's just— he's at his limit. these two idiots will be the end of him.
loss of hearing fic for my bthb card! @bigfootsmom gave me the amazing idea of buck suddenly experience hearing loss after a call and just !!!!! i'm so excited for this fic and want to start writing it as soon as i can
the soulmates au i've been talking about/planning with @buddierights that au is going to be so good and ahhh i wanna write it so bad!!!
the grey's anatomy au with bartender eddie and surgical resident buck. if you're watching season 19 of grey's, think mika and helm but make it buddie <33
also!!! bc i love bartender eddie so much!! i've been thinking about a bartender eddie x bodyguard buck working together at a bar and having this kind of banter at work and just !!!! i have so many ideas for that one and i think about it often but i've never written it or started it even.
the astronaut buck au with eddie working at the control center and being buck's only lifeline to earth??? idk if im gonna write that one but yeah <3
astronauts buddie fucking in the spaceship and then having an awkward morning after bc oh shit im in love with you and we just had a one night stand but also there's nowhere else to go and this is killing me, what am i supposed to do now.
brooklyn 99 au?? i’ve been undercover for months/years and i know i told you not to wait for me but i’m still in love with you and it’s killing me
You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable STRIPPER AU
video going viral. buck and eddie are arguing on a call and one patient records them and posts the video. everyone thinks they're a married couple???
free hugs. buck is a firefighter who offers free hugs and eddie takes him up on that after a particular hard therapy session. touch starved eddie. he keeps coming back everyday until buck breaks down and asks him out.
tagging: (no pressure) @cowboy-buddie @buddierights @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @alyxmastershipper @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @fatedbuddie @destielbuddiepipeline @911onabc @spaceprincessem @the-likesofus @spotsandsocks @elvensorceress @souschefdiaz @comaboybuck @bigfootsmom @lovebuck @dollhousejee @shortsighted-owl @messyhairdiaz @hippolotamus @maygrantgf @swiftiebuckleys @bekkachaos @ebdaydreamer @loveyourownsmiilee @jobairdxx and anyone else who wants to!!
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mostlymaudlin · 6 months
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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫
thank you @decaflondonfog for the tag !! ill tag @sillyunicorn @starwarned @urban-sith @tea-brigade
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
98!! (woah) plus an unrevealed t&n fest fic, so 99. wow i need to do something rly crazy for 100 lol. what if i do a ridiculous crossover of all my fandoms and everyone in the fandom tags will hate me. 
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
544,914. (again. woagh)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
mostly all for the game and simon snow series, have dabbled in & posted even less for check please, captain america, and one direction! i feel like i’m missing something but regardless my fixations are hardcore, so all except like 4k of that posted wc is for either aftg or ss hahahha
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
all are andreil! boyfriend privileges (4k, T) / Trigger (62k, E) / flashes of intimacy (10k, t) / Would you still love me if I was a worm? (6k, T) / Inside Thoughts (1k,T)
man this is long, rest is going under the cut lol
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
not very often, but i wish i did. i am stricken with a combination of being really awkward when people are nice to me & being bad at interacting with anyone in ways i fear could be perceived as ingenuine. im not sure if that makes sense LMAO. and sometimes when i put a story out, i kind of feel like i’ve said my piece — i’ve put so much into it that i don’t really know what else to say!
anyway, i always reply to questions, because that’s got clear social boundaries hahaha, and i DO love talking abt my stories!! and sometimes i’ll reply to comments that really get me thinking. but yeah, i know i reply less than i could, and i want to like double down on the fact that i am endlessly grateful for everyone who has ever left a comment on my work <3
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
i have killed simon snow twice lmfao. i’d actually classify icarus as rather hopeful — it’s about grief & healing. but legacies is just fucked up lmfao
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
oh man, i write a lot of happy endings haha. i feel like even when my story is tonally darker (rare), it still has a happy or at least hopeful ending. this is probably not the correct answer, but i think sing of the moon has a really vividly happy ending. like — the sun rises for the first time in the whole fic! amazing. or maybe my high school au, We Can Live Forever, which is just the happiest thing i’ve ever written. 
8. Do you get hate on fics?
not really, thankfully! people are smartasses sometimes but overall ive been lucky. there have been a couple of fics where ive winced before hitting post, but it usually ends up fine
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
yessss. i guess i mostly write tender smut, bc i write tender things in general. i think my smut tends to be rather exploratory/playful as well? intentionally sloppy and awkward choreography hahaha
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
sort of LOL. once upon a time i was betaing @tea-brigade's medieval snowbaz au, Reliquary of an Arsonist, and there’s this part where three highway bandits mug simon and baz and then get blasted by simon’s chosen one magic. i am sick in the head so im in the google doc like “lol what if its kandreil.” and then i was like… what if it was kandreil….. and so i wrote Reliquary of a Bandit
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
i don’t think so
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes!!! and i’m really thankful for everyone who has done so <3333 shoutout to russian aftg translators, yall go HARD
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
i recently collaborated with @thewholelemon on our episode of Star Trek: Redemption, Heart-Shaped Box. by which i mean: i wrote the outline & a few scenes, got really overwhelmed, and jenny turned it into something worth reading! 
i also wrote Good Boy in the snowbaz stoner verse with @starwarned, which was rly fun — we sat in the google doc for like, 5 hours trading back and forth on POVs as we wrote pure porn together LOL. it’s funny to think about this, because lauren knows like everything abt me now but we did not know each other as well back then!!! and we were just like “yeah lets write porn together” hahahahha 
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
right now it is deeefinitely andreil… they are everything to me for reasons i just cannot possibly be brief about LOL so ill just leave it at that
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
i have a postcanon snowbaz time travel/time loop wip that i was going to try to write for COBB this year but i fucked up the deadlines then the brainrot was like “guess that means more andreil !”. i did SO MUCH research for it and i think it’s rather clever and smutty and fun bc they are yeeted back to watford era! but it’s also dealing with snowbaz, who are in their late 20s and are like in a relationship low point/actively fighting when they end up in the loop… so they are dealing with that tension at the same time as they are trying to get out of the loop. and also fucking around watford to fulfill fantasies HAHAHA
16. What are your writing strengths?
characterization is the thing i care most about! and i think that’s the draw of fanfic in particular to me — i love getting such a grasp on a character that i can translate them into endless situations while still making them feel true to self. i rarely let myself publish anything until i can read through the whole thing without any he would not fucking say that moments hahahha. this is of course pertaining to my own interpretations of the characters, which is the only thing i care abt lmfao
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
i rely a lot on body language because im always writing abt reticent fuckers who cant use their words. but i think i sometimes overcompensate, or describe actions that don't actually fit the scene. i've seen this described as "cheek-biting" -- like, throwing in action during a conversation just to delay the pacing/further the tone, but when you really look at it, it's not necessary. (cheek-biting being like, "character bites at their cheek" in the middle of a tense conversation)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
i don’t really know any other languages! i think i’ve put a little bit of french in neil/kevin/baz POVs before, but my french knowledge is elementary at best. love the idea of it though.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
one direction babyyyyyyyy !! i wrote quite a bit of it in like 2012-2015 but published very little. there’s 1 on my ao3, some lost somewhere on fanfiction.net (i dont rmr my username lol), and tons in my folders from my old laptop lol.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
hmmmmm. im gonna cheat bc i cant pick a single favorite. i always say i think No Turning Back is some of my best writing from a craft standpoint, and it also includes my favorite type of conflict (andrew self-destructing lol). however, i reread both that fic & We Can Live Forever on a plane trip recently after not having touched either for 6+ months — and the solidness of We Can Live Forever actually surprised me, especially because i wrote the majority of that fic while i was stoned and also view it as just exceedingly silly. the world of it is just very rich, and also very very different from the typical character backstories, and i’m very proud of how much that reread played with my heartstrings.  
ok last one — there are several installments of my flashes of intimacy series that i come back to a lot, because i’m proud of what they each accomplish in 500 words. especially because i often turn to those when im trying to express my own emotions lol. specifically, my favorites are picking fights, i don’t mind, swimming lessons, and practicing gratitude.
that was such a bullshit and cocky way to answer this lmfaooooo. but tbh i am my own biggest fan and that is by design — i write stuff so that i can reread it months later and have it be perfectly catered to my tastes. i love all my fics <3
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hermesgoestojuvie · 2 months
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do you have any permes hcs or fic ideas?
oh anon u have no idea what you've unleashed. the permes fic ideas are all i have some days, alas, im not that accomplished at the whole idea to words transition as i wish i was. i'll go into a few more concrete ones under the read more
Quick note: So like. All the things I plan to write happen when he’s 18+. and there's no sibling or parent incest. (bringing that up cause i got an. interesting dm once.) So this is just a quick disclaimer of sorts. And I’m not hating on anyone who wants to write or read something dark! I mean for instance I have a time travel Percy/Hermes brainworm that is considered dark and probably not what a lot of people want to read, so i'll tag it as such.
The One Where There is a War
Explained a little more in detail here but I have no problem talking a little about it again. It was inspired by this one perpollo fic that I'm still looking for so I can link it, bc trust me, it is GOOD. (edit: FOUND IT!!!! HERE it’s by @ghost-bxrd)The premise of that fic was a war between the gods and demigods, and my fic is meant to draw from that as well as some elements from Lore by Alexandra Bracken. It takes place post-second Giant war, but I'm toying with the idea of having the war and all related events, like gaea's rising, happen when percy is maybe 19-20? I'm not sure yet though. I might keep the timeline as is instead. For now, just know that it is post-second giant war.
Anyways, the premise is the new war the demigods have waged on the gods, when Percy, already a conflicted party to the war, comes across an injured Hermes when he is separated from his group of scouts.
2. Warning: Untitled For Now But It Is The Dark!Hermes One
you ever read child surprise by aphroditesfavorite or the breezeblocks series by violetmoreviolent?
Both are perpollo, and while I've not caught up to child surprise (i'm two chapters in, its been in my marked for later for a while, and ive had the tab open for ages, i just keep getting distracted lol) i know that it does deal with a time-travel trope, with percy, post-second giant and titan wars, waking up in the past, the day athena and poseidon compete over athens.
from what i hear, where child surprise is perpollo, there is a dark, forcecful hermes scene, which is absolutely not meant to be shippy btw! i heard from a friend who has gotten farther than me that the aphroditesfavorite has also stated that the shippy comments received about that hermes scene has made them uncomfortable so like, dont go reading it for that guys please.
breezeblocks meanwhile has a take on dark!apollo, a more ancient apollo, in a way. an apollo that you remember IS an olympian and all that may entail. i actually have caught up with the latest updates, and it takes place in the present. i dont want to go spoiling, but I will say that like, the way its all unraveling and unfolding is just so interesting, im high key invested.
@ashilrak and @mrthology have also written an absolutely heartbreaking, gutwrenching, exceptionally glorious banger of a fic, HAUNT ME, THEN- that also really captures the otherness and ancient, almost older, aspect of the olympians.
anyways, the reason i bring these fics up is because i just really love the idea that percy was born from the sea, while also acknowledging that one of my favorite parts of the whole book series in the first place is percy's connection to mortality and to his mother. reading child surprise really was root of a lot of ideas of percy emerging from the saltwater fountain in athens at the time of poseidon and athena's competition, with the idea that the trip to the past coincides with unwanted percy's ascension. it is not the birth of percy jackson the demigod, but in half, percy jackson the deity (the other half near coming to fruition in tartarus before he forced himself to stop.)
all that^ was just a very long way to say, this fic, im not sure WHAT it is yet, or where the direction its going in is, but we have established permes in the modern era, the time slipping happens when percy is struggling with keeping his impending ascension at bay, and then percy deals with a hermes at his like. prime? if thats the word. having to reconcile that with the softer versions they know later.
3. The One I've Been Struggling With
i'm just gonna copy/paste some stuff from my outline, like just the first two pages. this is the most concrete fic wip i have lmao. its all very rambly bc thats how the process goes for me so sorry abt that! anyways, starts below:-
an au that is not modern times, but perhaps in the past? Ancient Greek times? So more “ancient greek minded hermes.” Or if you think there is a better alternative, that would work too, I’m all ears. Trickster god Hermes (which he is) and minor immortal(?) Percy.
i dont know what percy's situation is yet. need to figure that out
i was looking at a comic and thought, trickster god Hermes would definitely pull something like this on Percy. And then I thought, what if, trickster god Hermes, sees this one man (Percy) and falls in love with him. But this man seems to pine for a woman who doesn’t love him back, and so Hermes takes her shape. (I don’t know who this woman would be. Annabeth? It could be her, but I also love the bond Percy and Annabath have in general, she and him are incredible friends. Rachel? I loved her friendship with Percy too.)
Anyways, Hermes taking their shape made me laugh a bit because wow Percy is getting catfished by a god. And then I was like WHAT IF- Percy himself is a minor immortal like. A young nymph-ish type. A prince of Atlantis? A demigod turned prince of Atlantis? I am not sure what he is, but, I am going to use nymph as a placeholder until I figure this out. 
So sure, Percy is immortal, newly or otherwise, but he’s young and still not fully like, aware (I don’t know if that's the right word) about what it means to be immortal because he literally was born 20 years ago, which is normal mortal young man age. And Percy is like, “I’m as old as them and I want to live as them. I was them.”
His father is protective of course, he is aware of the way of the gods and how they chase pretty people. Poseidon warned him about gods, how they come and go, how he should never fall for one because loving one usually ends in tragedy or heartbreak- that to them hearts are easily won by tricks and discarded as easily. (Thinking again: mortal Percy turned immortal by marrying/mating with Hermes? Except, then I thought, Poseidon wants Percy to be immortal–if he thought Hermes showing interest and Percy reciprocating would allow for Percy to choose to be immortal he would probably begrudgingly allow it. So then….immortal Percy? Need to think)
The big Hermes reveal is when Percy is attacked or injured, or some other god shows up, and Hermes saves him but reveals his true form in the process. 
BACK TO THE PLOT!!!
Hermes was like, I will have this nymph, and that is FINAL. And Percy is kind even though he is not necessarily always NICE, (it may be ancient greek but new yorker percy is timeless) he's sweet and cares so much. he’s a hero and so loyal. he's brave and mischievous and genuinely good, and Hermes is just. Blown away, by the way Percy loves, so deep and it consumes you, to be the one Percy cares for, Hermes thinks there is no feeling like it.
Hermes tells himself that Percy can't possibly be deserving of mortal love. So what if golden haired Annabeth (placeholder for now, still dont know if we're going the annabeth route?) is a warrior who can run like the deer and loves the very woods Percy does. No, he needs a god's adoration, a force to be reckoned with at his beck and call to fulfill his every whim the way Percy himself makes others feel. If people would be loved the way Percy loves, everyone would be a god. 
I am laughing at Hermes taking the shape of Annabeth while talking to Percy, but also using the moment to talk up Hermes. Like if Percy is in his starry eyed about Annabeth phase, Annabeth wanting to have a sit down would be so exciting for him, and Hermes as Annabeth would be petty enough to be like lemme proselytize about myself, “have you heard of the great wonderful god Hermes?”
Percy being like, “Yeah my dad tells me every day, stay away from these people and then gives me a list of gods, why?”
Hermes immediately pissy
Percy is still talking, “so yeah Hermes is on the list too- why, Annabeth? Did something happen? you look...not well. Are you sick?”
Hermes, through gritted teeth, “with all due respect to... your father, I think you should hear about the god Hermes because he's not... whatever it is your dad said.”
Percy: Well, apparently the god Hermes fixates on pretty people and tries to get into their pants using trickery.
Hermes as Annabeth: CHOKES
Hermes-Annabeth: THAT IS SUCH SLANDER. I have never.... ahem, i have never heard of that about the god Hermes
^That was the first two pages. there's 11 more of me realizing writing is hard and i have commitment issues. but hopefully i finish at some point bc this is the fic ive poured some serious time in!
anyways, that was the three main fic ideas ive been tackling. i have had more that i immediately forget about, but just know, i can think about them all day!
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threestripeslider · 1 year
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How did you find the confidence to put your work out into the community?
I’ve been wanting to make my own fic for this community, since the inspiration from you and a bunch of other creators was influential on me. But I’m worried it won’t be well received,
I would love to join the peepaw multiverse, honestly, all of your stories are amazing and I believe my idea is a good one. But I’m not sure how to execute it.
Any words of advice?
tbh as blase as it sounds; i do what i want.
my fics have always kind of been written for me by me exclusively, the only reason why i put them online is bc sometimes i think "hey someone might like that too!" there's a reason why i put "self-indulgence" in the tags a lot bc it really is, im literally just entertaining myself and invite anyone who's even vaguely interested to come and see too. sometimes people will come and flock together, sometimes not, and thats fine to me. i know i joke a lot about "oh i got a good grade in public approval" or something but honestly? im past that point; my writing is a well-loved hobby of mine and i don't need anyone's attention to find enjoyment in it.
so i guess it has to do a lot with yourself, yknow? im not really sure how to coach self-confidence LMAO if you like your idea, then go for it!! it's your idea!! only you know how your idea pans out. im literally just some guy on the internet sitting in a specific nook and playing with my blorbos as ppl occasionally say hello KJSBKJDB–
and again; the Peepaw Multiverse is pretty much open-source, it isnt some fancy club to be accepted in. if you got a peepaw, then they'll most likely fit into the PMV haha!! i honestly do not hold a monopoly over it – it's also not something that's super serious, it's basically just a bunch of ppl playing dolls bc its funny. sure, some faces might pop up way more than others but once you stop viewing everything as some grand popularity contest, things get a lot more enjoyable bc i can assure you, there will always be at least one person who will like your stuff. maybe they're quiet but they're there and i think thats kind of heartwarming. but i do encourage ppl to voice their joy over other people's creations bc then we can enjoy it together!!
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pastanest · 1 year
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has anyone else had a problem with read-more links ever since the new tumblr update??
I add them in and everything’s fine, they’re always after the first paragraph to keep the fics short and sweet under the tags, but when I save them, multiple paragraphs just erase themselves from the very end of the fic for absolutely no reason. if I try to tap on the end of the fic to type/add it back in, it glitches and defaults me back to the top of the post, and when I scroll back down to the end, sometimes it reveals one line of the missing paragraph like it’s still there but hidden.
I’ve figured out how to get the paragraphs back and the only way it’s possible is to remove the read-more link for some reason, even tho that’s never anywhere near the parts of the fic that disappear
tumblr just continues to be the most anti-user platform in existence and I genuinely cant believe it. I’ve written here for years and truly do not want to move my work anywhere else but I dont know how the fuck to continue under this constant barrage of problems that make it near impossible to just post a fic without stress, now I have to double check every paragraph is still there before I post it and again after I’ve posted it, cuz sometimes they’ll erase themselves on posting!
Im unsure if part of the problem is editing my work between a laptop and then a phone as well, whether the links Im adding on my laptop are causing issues for some reason, but I dont think it’s a coincidence that as soon as the new update landed, I started getting this problem.
has anyone else had this issue? can anyone else verify that my read-more links dont cause the fic to end weirdly abruptly, like part of it is missing (bc it is)?
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im-95-not-dead · 7 months
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@noxnthea tagged me in this fic writers showcase game, so thank you!!
Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason. 💛
First fic: Gone But Not Forgotten (canon Steve/Tony) -- if anyone knows the artwork i'm talking about in the notes of this fic, please let me know!
Last fic: posted ch. 2/? of With Friends Like These (Bucky & Clint & Nat & Frank Castle, normal au) about 20mins ago
Only once: A Strange Encounter is my only Loki/Strange fic that I've written
Fav fic in the most popular fandom or ship: hands down has to be The Way You Look (Steve/Tony 1940s NYC mafia au) which I co-wrote with redhead_robin on AO3. I recently re-read it and still love it
I wish more people would read: The Fall (teenage runaways Bruce/Clint) partly bc it's a small ship but also bc this fic was inspired by personal experiences, songs near & dear to my heart, & the impact Just Listen by Sarah Dessen had on me as a teen and still does.
I agonized over: All Or Nothing At All (Clint/Bucky 1940s NYC mafia au) I have such a fear of getting called out for being anachronistic that I was watching documentaries, read loads of Wiki pages, biography excerpts & everything else to get 1948-50 NYC as accurate as I could as well as the mafia experience and yeah, there are still some things that are lacking bc I didn't wanna overwhelm the fic with unnecessary details but damn, this one really took a toll on me & I originally intended it to be a >10k oneshot and that did not happen 😃
Showed up fully formed: Punks & Poets (Bucky/Clint) was inspired by a tiktok and I knew exactly how the fic would go by the second play of the tiktok
I'm proud of: This Is Why I Don't Write Romance by R.B. Banner (Bruce/Clint) im proud of this one bc 1) it's a less-supported ship and a lot of people expressed their appreciation for it 2) it turned a lot of people on to the idea of this ship according to my comments 3) i just genuinely really love the world I created and how everyone fits into it. It could also be an agonized over fic with all the complete trashes and re-writes it went thru but for the most part i am just so damn proud of it
No presssure tagging: @carcrash429 @daemonbreath @ladyladylady1 @buckyismybicycle and anyone else who wants to do it, feel free to tag me !
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allaganexarch · 7 months
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AO3 fic stats meme!
tagged by @thevikingwoman !
rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.
Most Hits: The Prisoner | Sleeping Beauty (1959) | Maleficent/Aurora | should technically probably be M rated but idk it's a very high T | 250k words
Did not need to check LOL
Second Most Kudos: THE PRISONER LOL
Songbird actually has more kudos than Prisoner! This is extremely funny, do not read the prisoner it is not fit for human consumption
Third Most Comments: luminescence | Final Fantasy XIV | Various ships, various ratings, written for FFXIVWrite | 72.6k words total
Absolutely bless the ppl who read my slow descent into madness when I did FFXIVWrite--that's one of those times where I can really see a huge improvement in my writing after that month!
Fourth Most Bookmarks: IM SCREAMING. IT'S THE PRISONER [DRAFT 2]
DO NOT READ THE PRISONER.
Fifth Most Words: Songbird | Sleeping Beauty (1959) | Maleficent/Aurora | T | 39.5k words
This is a much saner fic than the Prisoner, and I'm extremely proud of the ending especially. It has some style issues in the beginning and middle just bc it took a long time to write.
Fewest Words: never meant to fall | Once Upon A Time | Ursula/Cruella, referenced Regina/Emma | rated G for whatever reason | 536 words
I forgot about this one LOL, I was thinking it would be one of my short Dragon Age fills that's around 700 words. I also don't know why this has so many hits I sincerely doubt it's very good.
please i am so serious if you're like hm ik she writes fic i wonder if i should try reading any of it, PLEASE, do not start with the prisoner it is literally just 250k words of trauma processing sdknjfnjkkjnfknjf
Tagging: @thepapernautilus @eemamminy-art @yourlocaldisneyvillain @quinnthebard @delirious-comfort if you want to! i cannot think of anyone else I know who writes fic off the top of my head pls feel free to do the thing and pretend I tagged you!
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prettyboykatsuki · 1 year
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extended authors note ; how to be a dog.
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WELCOME TO MY TWISTED MIND MOTHERFUCKERS.
that is a joke. i speak in jest. this fic has taken me almost a year to write. it was requested of me in july of 2022 and its currently april 2023. i want to give my highest regards ever to the most lovely and patient human being in this world miss ame. your kind words through updates kept me pushing through the very end and i hope this fic is everything you could want
ok. onto the talking about it stuff.
this fic is pretty dark all things considered. though my scale for that is kind of fucked and since this is my tumblr audience - you people are well-aware it gets bad but its... still pretty graphic. there is a lot of truly henious shit in here and its in the perspective of that guy.
tldr ; don't read if you think it will give you the heebie jeebies. u are not obligated and i am not your mother nor am i a public executioner. if this is the one fic u skip out on no hard feelings at all. i mean this.
this fic is one of Those Fics where writing it did something to my brain. i have never, ever in my entire writing career been so challenged by a single project. every single element of this fic has been run through a million things. the last time this happened was my big deku fic but that fic rlly feels like a cakewalk in comparison.
all that to say, because it has simply been seeing my eyes only for months with no input from anyone else - i have no idea how anything worked out. no beta no meds just balls to the wall insanity. i can only measure my own work so much and i have bar zero expectations for this fic just to save myself some sanity.
i ask very kindly that if it sucks u just dont tell me. and if it doesn't and u want to be nice that'd be cool too. but know that a lot of my heart and soul went into this and i hope in the very least - you are able to discern that in its makeup.
a lot of the stuff ive worked into here is related like. to plot and motif and actual development. the dog motif is a huge part of the story as is the religious imagery. i want this fic to feel like a fall from grace in a sense. it is a character study as much as its anything else. where there's always something wrong and one day everything goes to shit. i think gojo is that kind of sicko.
i also do like. love gojo so much. this fic is written with nothing but adoration for him in mind.
i dont have much to add (said after this absolutely disgusting wall of text) because my tumblr homies r very aware of what shit im up to and this fic is not a surprise to anyone.
but i hope you enjoy it if you do read and even if you don't, thanks for sticking around despite it all. i have been thru the trenches and i will need a bit of break to recuperate once its in the world for good so i hope u can be kind
i am terrible with comments and asks and tags bc it all scares me but i am so genuinely and so unfathomably grateful for all of it and i hope im finally out of my insane writing dry spell.
thanks. lots of love. sincerely yours,
fang.
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utilitycaster · 1 year
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I saw the same post you kind of, alleged? (Unsure if it's the correct word) and man oh man, the way it was written felt extremely accusatory for no reason. Like, i have my own opinions about the bigotry in the CR fandom, but it is in no way more or less present than almost any other fandom
Im paraphrasing but it felt like they were saying "hey critters, just so you know this story has PoC and it's very important to PoC (not me of course cause im white) so be cautious and respectful" like ok? And?? (I'm aware that this is ofc how i interpreted the post, and may not be the true intentions of OP)
Sorry im rambling to your askbox, but it just, felt wrong to read lmao
No worries (and the word would probably be alluded to, or honestly you can just say “vagued” here, let’s not beat around the bush).
Yeah it’s…something. Like, I am also white and so I don’t feel comfortable actually going on OP’s post to say “uh what the fuck,” but like, racism in actual play fandom is a very valid topic to explore, but “not watching the original series for a miniseries in which there were black characters” is an entirely neutral choice, particularly if the miniseries has twice as many actors of color (and twice as many black actors) in it as the original.
Anyway it fucking sucks. It co-opts social justice language/the concept of anti-racism but makes it about the white OP's apprehension about a different DM coming into a world they like. I also find that D20 fans have been pretty fucking obnoxious about "I just wonder if CR fans/fans of Matt will understand the rich lore" while not actually providing any tools to understand that lore other than watching A Crown of Candy. Like...obviously I have my biases as a CR wiki editor but the D20 wiki is in shambles. I've gone there to get Neverafter summaries because I'm still struggling to get through that season but do want to know what happens, and there's nothing. If all this whiny, hostile handwringing about how CR fans won't know the lore were replaced by a few hours of cleaning up D20 fan-made resources so they could learn the lore? That would do a thousand times more good. But it's not about that; it's pure snobbery. And here's the thing: it doesn't matter if people do know the lore. It's none of anyone's fucking business what other people watch, and to throw this into the CR main tag acting like people who are fans of CR can't pick up on lore is laughably stupid and incredibly obnoxious but also, if they can't? Why the fuck should that bother an existing D20 fan?
I love ACOC! I do think that if you have the time to watch it, it's a great watch and I highly recommend it! But presumably Brennan and Matt have worked together to set the scene for new viewers. And most importantly, it is not actually problematic for people to come in to the series cold, and it's immensely gross of a white person to act like it is when this is really entirely about their own feelings.
[This is a tangent but I have many thoughts about how to be a welcoming fan to new fans, mostly boiling down to "shut the fuck up and let them enjoy themselves without trying to meddle in the business of strangers simply because they like what you like." Anyway it's interesting bc I find CR fans err in the other direction of trying to be too welcoming in a way I find offputting, and glossing over the fact that yeah actually there is a lot of lore floating around that might be worth checking out if you are so inclined; both approaches suck.]
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