#im terrible at decision making

[shazzbaa]

A Bringer Of Death is increasing...

tremendously inspired by @tofupixel's pixel portrait work lately and wanted to play with some big pixels myself so....... I SCRIBBLED MY NEW FALLEN LONDON GUY....... Deacon Samuel Ashman is a obvious Sammy expy former clergyman who ended up joining the Black Ribbon Duellists and is DEFINITELY not experiencing ANY cognitive dissonance about his actions in the Neath,

#fallen london #fallen london oc #shazz art #pixelart #pixel art #art #omg colour #been having a grand time making terrible decisions down in london #also no FL spoilers please!! im enjoying discovering things with friends :D #fl: the bloodstained deacon

[sporeclan]

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SporeClan's first babies!!!! I love them so much

#clangen #clan generator #warrior cats #sporeclan #sc moons #welcome back to goldpurr being a menace btw. goldpurr making terrible decisions. goldpurr swinging and hitting someone entirely unrelated #sc:dawnpelt #sc:foxspeckle #sc:oakfox #sc:fadedtuft #sc:goldpurr #sc:pachirisu #sc:mousegrove #sc:cliffkit #sc:cinnamonkit #sc:mushroomkit #sc:spottedkit #also hope you all dont mind the formatting changing slightly every couple moons #im just slowly working out a format that is easy to read looks good is somewhat unique and also is relatively fast to do

[birb--birb]

The more I play, the more I think people that who super dislike Astarion have never experienced a trauma before.

Like ofc you're allowed to dislike a character for any reason, but it also makes so much sense why he is how he is when you unlock his positive approval rating covos. He's a snarky stab happy fuckboy yes, but his quest for power isn't unjustified. Astarion is scared, he's terrified he'll be brought back to Cazador and tortured 5 ways to sunday, if not outright killed. The tadpole is what's keeping him safe, and he isn't going to give it up without a fight. So he thinks the only way to ensure his safety and freedom is to go full scorched earth, take as much power by any means possible no matter who it hurts. He's a spurr of the moment decion maker, of course he's not going to think it through. When your ticket to freedom after 200 years of torture is right there, you don't stop to think about the cost of it, to yourself or others.

Astarion doesn't want power so he can rule over the sword coast, he wants power to make sure no one ever can ever hurt him again. You hear something simular in folks who have experienced trauma (plz understand that I'm generalizing here, trauma is processed differently by different people no one brain is the same). Anger, grief, fear, confusion, terror all are things that can go through your mind after a traumatic event occurs. Your brain is trying to find a way to make things hurt less, so if there's a chance for revenge, or the ability to take back power, you bet your ass its gonna sound delicious to your emotionally flooded brain. This is what I think is at the core of Astarions story. That this confident, cunning, flirtatious vampire is mostly an act, it's what he's practiced and what's protected him thus far. He likely learned that showing any sort of vulnerability is a weakness that will be used against him. His grab for power is selfish yes, but not in the way it seems at the surface. But absolutely power will corrupt absolutely, which is why I say his desire is justified, but not exactly supported depending on what type of run you're doing.

Idk man I just immediately looked at this man and went "aweeh.... it's traumatized". That boi ain't got any coping skills whatsoever and I'm a sucker for characters who's confidence is just a ploy to keep you from seeing just how fucked up they actually are. Anyways each character in this damn game is written so freaking well I could write a billion essays about it everyone say thank you Larian

#i can fix him and i *will* die on this hill #thank you for coming to my ted talk #baulders gate astarion #baulders gate 3 #astarion bg3 #astarion ancunin #character analysis #im only in act 2 so my tune may change but i still stand by the fact that he wants power out of fear #im so stoked to do my durge playthrough and just enable his terrible decisions #i will cry #trauma mention #abuse mention #if i dont get a dramatic “i will never be controlled again” monologue i will simpily perish #i just think hes neat #and dont you worry i have feelings TM about karlach gale and shadowheart too #its just astarion brainrot hours #i can fix him #i can make him worse #bg3 analysis #bg3

[gunstellations]

rk800 💙 rk900

#ok hear me out #i think they are blorbo shaped #if nines got a hug. he can be fixed. i know this. give him a chance. give him some connor #rk1700 #???? #i said theyre cute as platonic but i feel the tendrils of shipping lens activation slowly creeping up to my feet.... #nobody asked me to give nines a lil blush there....but i did it anyway......software instability moment..... #its funny how i started out hating his guts i just called him an ugly bitch when he showed up and now i am becoming so soft for him #i just didnt understand why he was so popular then found out yall just want that love hate dynamic with the asshole cop which #i agree is valid and i do dabble in a little now #regardless #i looked at nines and connor for too long and something is stirring in me #i am afraid #hankcon going strong tho i just want connor to be loved by every single person in the game #mark my words one of these days im going to make some terrible decisions with kamski... #on another note im glad for the dbh obsession because its giving me a much needed push to learning a bit of form and rendering with art #usually i wing it and never colour but this is progress im kind of proud of :} #enjoy folks #my art #detroit become human #dbh #i forgot to tag for myself #id apologise for always rambling on in tags but you can choose not to read it #and whenever i see anyone mentioning getting a chuckle out of it it makes my day #you pressed that see all button. youre seeing it all man

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 209

my ass is NOT beating the time player allegations

#day 209 #year 4 #it me #voidbound-bard #zackbuildit #it isnt because of the barbie movie btw its because i am constantly making gay and terrible hair decisions #and i have nearly the least hair i have ever had #so it seemed like an opportune time to finally buckle down and try home bleaching #but the barbie movie is a bonus! i gotta get my ken fit together bc im seeing the movie tomorrow! #also idk i used to be REAL blonde as a kid. like really fucking blonde #and idk ever since my hair got dark i've never really gone back except for ONCE in college i got it done professionally #but i almost immediately dyed it pink #so idk i think im just gonna keep the basic blonde for a while #see where it takes me

[druidshollow]

rivers is so me when im programmed to be incapable of hurting my creators entire race in any way so i even If the opportunity to defend myself arose i still cant do anything about the guy whos hurting m

#sorry. its 11:40 pm im going to fucking bed #druid babbles #who put flowers in charge of someone vulnerable and susceptible to harm #that was a stupid decision #“this guy is opportunistic cruel and conniving” “eh give him an easy target whatever” #“eh we dont like him lets give him the old sick iterator who lives in the middle of nowhere cuz who cares: #if rivers knew that the people down south in the more populated areas basically said #he matters less and hed be terrible to be in charge of so lets make this guy we dont like ahve to deal w him #can you imagine if rivers knew the only reason flowers was assigned to him was an attempt to be petty to flowers #because they didnt think rivers was worth being in charge of #they all fucking suck your honour

[deathbypufferfish]

The stress is making me physically ill 💗

#puffer talks #if i seem inactive for a while its because on Tuesday my sweet big baby puppy eko was diagnosed with osteosarcoma #so bone cancer #it is terminal so the choices we have to make are hard because its not about curing it but about how comfortable he is #it's in his front right leg and hes s really big dog so amputation is a hard decision #it is all very hard and terrible and i love him so much #it is so anti his nature #he is a big ball of silly and love #anyways im nauseous all the time and my pots is flaring up bad #i got my first good night of sleep last night #hes doing better on his meds rn but yeah

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

#so ive been in a bad mental state lately #because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts) #that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own #which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them #and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too #i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful #and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing #and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas #and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom #so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset #and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?' #its not good. but i havent acted on anything #AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds #i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again #i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best #im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it #but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard #so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk #btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am #and im full of manic energy #tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room

[anxiously-sidequesting]

So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."

But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️

So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to

And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to

Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!

#this is all speculation btw idk if any of this is canon. how duncan feels about all this #i know i keep saying the exact same shit over and over but.... really not a fan of how the game handled duncan! sorry! #i know wizard101 isnt supposed to be about every single character gets a satisfying ending to their arc- #-meaning not everyone in the story will face consequences and/or find a happy ending and like thats fine they dont need to #but idkkkk its just imo really sad how essentially a kid suffers frrom something he cant control by himself (his ego)- #and then instead of getting help he is instead ignored (ambrose) and then manipulated and brought up by a cult #and then when it becomes super apparent how... TERRIBLE his life really is and we defeat him he just... goes back?????? #we.... we LET him go back???? i mean we're not responsible for other people's bad decisions or mental health but bro.... #and then when we tell ambrose he's just like “oh. too bad. well anyways-” AND IM LIKE WELL THATS THE REASON!!!!! NO WONDER HE'S FUCKED UP #NONE OF THIS IS ADDRESSED. NONE OF IT. WE KICK DUNCAN'S ASS AND THEN HE.... GOES BACK TO THE CABAL #i literally just got so desolate when (wallaru spoilers) because. okay. all that for nothing i guess #this isnt me being mad btw LMAO i know the tone probably reads as angry but im not im just disappointed #and tired. what is it with wizard101 in particular and just people suffering with no end. (me as i make my main suffer with no end) #but anyways yeah duncan has been in my head for a while. he's one of the guys that i love a lot BDKSNSKAJ #he's like a son to me and HE NEEDS A HEALTHY PARENT. HE NEEDS IT #not excusing his actions btw. he still committed crimes JRKDJSIEJ #i just have a soft spot for those villains in media who are doomed from the start yknow. (stares tearfully at morganthe and gf spider) #wizard101 #wiz101 #w101 #text posts #duncan grimwater #im not normal about duncan at all he's probably the wozard oc i feel for the most other than malorn and us

[blastlight]

shoutout to skurry hollowknight for good vibes

#bad night? terrible no good night? watch a skurry. eat a pasta. porblem gone #well not really but i feel like im gonna make slightly less worse decisions now #so thats basically good #send me your vibes i want them #blast babbles

[forwantofacalling]

I had a vision

#arknights #arknights meme #mlynar nearl #toland cash #ITS 2AM IM MAKING TERRIBLE DECISIONS #anyway <3 #arknights fanart #I guess

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

most days I'm so chill with the fact I'm non-contact with my father, it was the best decision, I hate him, my life is so much more peaceful without him

then bam it's a random Tuesday at 8pm and I'm sobbing because I miss having a dad, like, excuse me what is this??

#im ping ponging between its all his fault he made all those decisions to maybe he was doing what he thought was right #i barely ever had a dad so i dont know what im crying for pff #if he died tomorrow I'm not sure I'd go to his funereal I don't want him at my wedding #but sometimes I want him to just hold me and read me narnia like he did when I was 9 #my parents were terrible but its cause they didnt know what they were doing but i dont know how to make peace with that #would it have killed them to be nice to me? #this is very simplified but yk #gonna go read some draco scorpius centred fanfics now to make me cry more cant wait!! #i hate him i hate him i HATE HIM I HATE HIM #but i didnt always and i dont want to but there are things you just cant take back #anywayz thats enough trauma dumping on main lmfao #if anyone has any father child centred fanfictions do let me know and give them to me plz thanks #daddy issues #are screaming #scorpius malfoy #and god do i hate his new wife #this is way too many tags im sorry to anyone whos made it down here lmfao