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#im the person who is watching two different movies at once while listening to music and writing and following ALL of it cuz i HAVE to
stonerosestank · 1 year
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hi there 🤍
personally, i love the first two the 1975 albums, they were my whole personality when i was a teen and the only time i’ve seen them live was when they just had those albums out so it will forever be a cherished memory for me. i’ve been listening to a couple of songs from those albums all year and they make me so happy, as well as the new ones that kinda fit that vibe.
i listened to the songs you recommended (only once but i feel like i’ll definitely go back to some) and i think magnolia park and fletchers are closer to the kind of music i regularly listen to. i don’t listen to taylor too much so it was interesting hearing her new stuff and lakeyah is so cool! i don’t think i would’ve found her on my own but i could listen to it from time to time if i’m in the mood for wrap. as for bad bunny, i’ve listened to un verano sin ti so many times i just vibed out to it ajwjrjjswj and de museo is so different but so good as well. counterparts is a little too heavy for my taste, but i can definitely see the appeal.
oh, the proposal and love, simon are some of my favorites too! i haven’t watched any good movies in a while but some of my favorites are about time and the newest version of little women. tbh if it’s a romcom i’ll probably watch it ahejrjskw and for shows i’ve been really enjoying the sex lives of college girls and watched all of young royals when the second season came out and i’m obsessed with those dramatic gays ajwjrjdke
i’m glad your weekend was fun and here’s a hug for this very busy monday (at least for me) 🫂💗💞💕💖
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hello<3
are you/have you seen them for this tour they’re doing now? my friend and i want to go to the toronto date but resale tickets are still super expensive so we don’t know if we’re gonna be able to go 😔 either way i think im gonna listen to their older stuff if i ever get around to listening to their new album fjdhd
live reaction to the noah kahan songs u recommended: right off the bat i am obsessed with she calls me back!!! idk who it’s reminding me of but i really like the sound of it!! part of me is so boppy i like it and it kinda sounds like a one direction or niall song to me djshsj anyway is my favorite of the three im 😭 everything about it is so like..idk?? i don’t have words i just really really like it
i haven’t seen either of those movies but i’ve scrolled past about time so many times and never watched it but im gonna add it to my watch list!! and no same i live for romcoms it’s a problem djshsj also i have the sex lives of college girls on my watch list too it seems super interesting!! listen young royals is my fave i love it so much 🥹 i sure would love it if my brain would let me finally watch season two 🫠😭 i’ve been so excited since i found out they were filming s2 and i just haven’t watched it yet djshsh
busy days require lots of hugs so here’s a bunch for you 💗🫂🫂🫂
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I’ve only got 3 more prompts back here (a rhack, an omega jack jackothy, and a rhys/axton) but you can still feel free to send in any prompts from this list (see my notes in the tags) if you’re so inclined :) I’ve been slow to get them up but i AM still actively doing them ;D
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lumosandnoxwriting · 3 years
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Doing Me Right - Fred Weasley
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Title: Doing Me Right Pairing: Fred x Fem!Reader Warnings: NSFW!! Dirty talk, semi-public sex, fingering, mentions of choking, unprotected sex, comments that def could be construed as a breeding kink bc im trash Summary: Fred knows he shouldn’t be eavesdropping on the girls, but when his girlfriend starts to sing a song about getting it on all night, all his concerns go away and all he can think about is 34+35. A/N: not requested, just the product of my own brain!! Inspired by 34+35 by Ariana Grande, all lyrics used are in italics. Feedback is always welcome!!
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“No way!”
Fred pauses with his hand hovering over the knob on his bedroom door at the sound of Hermione’s voice. Y/N, Ginny and Hermione had gone upstairs over an hour ago, but clearly they lied about going straight to bed. They obviously deemed whatever conversation they’re having unsuitable for the boys to hear and Fred can’t help but wonder what they’re talking about. Unable to help himself, Fred inches down the hall closer to Ginny’s room, hoping to catch more of their conversation.
“Yes way!” Ginny responds with a giggle. “Harry is very talented on and off the Quidditch pitch, if you catch my drift.”
Fred grimaces as Y/N and Hermione burst out into laughter, and he makes a silent note to hit a few bludgers a bit harder than normal at Harry during their daily Quidditch game tomorrow. Fred settles on the floor outside of Ginny’s room, peering in through the slit in the nearly fully closed door and his breath catches in his throat when his eyes land on Y/N. She’s sitting cross legged on Ginny’s floor wearing a thin tank top and a pair of sleep shorts. They’ve been together for nearly five years, but the sight of Y/N never fails to make Fred’s heart race.
“Who would have thought, eh? Seems the chosen one isn’t as innocent as everyone thinks,” Y/N teases. Someone, Fred figures it’s Ginny, throws a pillow at her and Y/N dodges it with a laugh. “No need to be so feisty, Gin. You’re the one who brought it up!”
“That’s enough out of you,” Ginny responds playfully. “I would have smothered you with that pillow, but we all know how much you enjoy that, don’t we, ‘Mione?”
Fred watches Y/N’s cheeks flush red and she picks up the pillow to hurl it at Hermione and Ginny, who are both laughing hysterically. Fred knows he should forget he ever heard any of this and go back to his room but listening to the girls talk so openly is addictive. Especially since one of the participants is his girlfriend.
“I’m never talking about my sex life with any of you ever again,” Y/N grumbles, flipping both Hermione and Ginny off.
“Why? Tired of bragging?” Hermione teases, and Fred can practically hear the grin on her face.
Y/N shrugs and Fred doesn’t miss the smug look on her features. “No need to be jealous, Hermione. It’s not my fault the Weasley brother I chose is a sex God. I’m sure with a few more years of practice Ron will nearly be as good as Fred.”
Fred can hear Ginny gag as his chest swells with pride. Of course he knows that he’s good in bed and Y/N reminds him just how great it is every time, but it’s different hearing her brag about it to her friends.
“You know the rule!” Ginny shrieks as another pillow comes flying at Y/N. “If you’re gonna talk about your sex life you’re not allowed to use their names! It ruins the whole conversation for me when I’m reminded that my two best friends are with two of my brothers.”
“Sorry, Ginny. I couldn’t resist,” Y/N apologizes.
All three of them are quite for a few moments, and just when Fred is about to sneak away to his room, Hermione makes a noise, and the faint music that was playing in the background turns up.
“Oo, I love this song!” He hears Hermione get up and then her hands come into view as she pulls Y/N up off of the floor. Fred’s eyes widen as he watches Y/N sway to the beat, singing to the lyrics of the song.
“So what you doing tonight?, better say, "Doing you right", watching movies but we ain't seeing a thing tonight,” Y/N sings along, her hips moving in time to the beat.
Fred’s mesmerized by the way Y/N’s hips move, and he can feel himself starting to get turned on from the words she’s singing alone. Despite the fact that they’re both adults and have been together for years, his Mum still insists that Y/N stay in Ginny’s room when they spend the night, so it’s been a few days of nothing but lustful glances and teasing touches between them, and the scene in front of him is making Fred crave more.
Y/N tilts her head back as she sings, and Fred picture himself sinking his teeth into the sensitive sink of her throat. “Can you stay up all night? Fuck me 'til the daylight, thirty-four, thirty-five. Can you stay up all night? Fuck me 'til the daylight, thirty-four, thirty-five.”
Fred watches the way Y/N’s mouth forms around the words, unable to stop himself from imagining them wrapping around his cock. He’d give anything to be with her all night long, and before he can stop himself Fred is reach down and squeezing his hardening cock through his pajama bottoms.
Y/N bends over, giving Fred the perfect view of her ass. She starts to move her hips again, and Fred has to bite down on his index finger to muffle the noise that rips from his throat. The shorts she’s wearing are far too short, so the bottom of her bum cheeks are visible as they bounce, and Fred can’t look away.
“Baby you might need a seat-belt when I ride it, I'ma leave it open like a door come inside it, even though I'm wifey, you can hit it like a side chick, don't need no side dick, no,” Y/N sings, and Fred starts to palm himself harder. It’s taking all of his willpower not to storm in there and drag Y/N into his room so they can do all of the dirty things she’s singing about.
“We started at midnight, got 'til the sunrise, done at the same time, but who's counting the time, when we got it for life?”
Fred watches Y/N move sensually as the song starts to end, in complete and utter awe that he’s going to spend his life with her. Not only does she have an amazing personality, but she’s beautiful and downright sexy. She can drive him crazy with just one look, and Fred knows he’ll never get tired of being with her.
Someone turns the music down as another song switches on and Y/N settles back on the floor, slightly out of breath. Her eyes pass over the door, and for a second Fred thinks she’s missed him, but then her attention refocuses on the opening in the door and their eyes lock. Fred holds his finger up to his mouth and winks at Y/N, before motioning for her to meet him in the bathroom down the hall.
Y/N swallows thickly as Fred disappears from outside Ginny’s door, refocusing her attention on her friends. She has no idea how long he’d been sitting there watching her, and the thought that he’d just witnessed her dancing instantly makes her wet. Once she’s sure Fred is gone, Y/N clears her throat and stands up.
“I’m gonna run to the loo. Brush my teeth and wash my face, all that jazz.” Y/N hopes her voice sounds casual, and she has to focus hard on walking away at a normal pace, even though her mind is telling her to run towards Fred. They’d been teasing each other on and off all day, and with the lustful look Fred had given her when their eyes met a few minutes ago Y/N can’t get to him fast enough.
“Fucking finally,” Fred groans when Y/N meets him in the bathroom. He slams the door shut behind her and presses her up against it, his hands landing on her hips. Fred kisses Y/N desperately, licking into her mouth almost immediately. “Do you know how fucking sexy you are?” Fred starts to trail open-mouthed kisses down her neck as he presses his erection into her stomach. “Got me so fucking hard just from watching you shake that sweet ass of yours.”
“Fred,” Y/N moans as his teeth dig into her collarbone. “You ah, you weren’t supposed to see that.” Fred’s hands have traveled up her shirt and are now cupping and massaging her breasts. “But I’m so fucking glad you did,” she gasps as Fred’s thumbs start to swirls around her nipples.
Fred kisses Y/N again, needing to feel her lips on his. Kissing her has to be one of Fred’s favorite things in the world, and over the past few days all he’s had to get by are a few random pecks here and there. “Such a little slut, Y/N. Singing about fucking me for anyone to hear. You just want everyone to know how good I fuck you, don’t you?”
Fred lifts Y/N up by her thighs and moves so he can place her down on the edge of the sink. He pulls her tank top off over her head before pushing her thighs apart to give him room to stand. One of his hands immediately moves to her breast, starting to massage it, while his head dips down at takes the nipple of her other breast into his mouth.
“Oh my fucking God, Fred,” Y/N moans as his tongue starts to flick at her nipple. Y/N lets out another noise as Fred’s free hand covers her mouth, pressing against it hard.
“Gotta be quiet, Y/N. Don’t want my family to hear how much of a desperate slut you are for me,” he teases before taking her other nipple into his mouth. He lets his teeth nibble at it, and the moan Y/N tries to let out goes right to his cock. “Can’t wait to fuck you and have you writhing on my cock,” he continues, as his mouth nibbles and sucks on her breasts. “Always fuck you so good, don’t I baby? You’re always begging for more when I’m done with you.” Fred’s hands start to play with Y/N’s breasts again so he can press hot kisses to her neck, just below her ear lobe. “You always come so hard on my cock, don’t you baby? I make you feel so good that you can’t help but brag to all of your friends, isn’t that right? Letting them know how hard your sex God boyfriend fucks you.”
Y/N face heats up at Fred’s words and she tries to moan as he presses his hand to her mouth harder. She’s absolutely dripping in her panties, and as much as she’s enjoying the teasing, her core is aching to be filled.
Fred lets one of his hands travel down Y/N’s torso towards the waistband of her sleep shorts. “Bet you’re pretty pussy is soaking wet for me. Probably so wet I could drink it like water,” he teases, referencing the song Y/N had just been singing along too. Fred moans as Y/N’s hands tangle in his hair and tug and he feels her tongue lick at his hand. “Something to say, darling?” He shoves his hand into her shorts and panties, just barely letting his index finger graze her clit.
Y/N tilts her head back and lets out a whine as Fred starts to tease her clit. She tugs on his hair once again, desperately trying to ask him for more. She can feel Fred smirk against her neck as he sucks a mark into it, and she tries to let out a groan in frustration.
“You always make such pretty noises when I rail you,” Fred praises, teasing her entrance with his index finger. “Always love making you scream my name.” He sinks his index finger all the way into Y/N’s heat, and the noise she tries to make sends a shiver down his spine. “Bet you love having my hand wrapped around your mouth? Don’t you, my dirty girl?” When Y/N nods he smirks and pushes another finger into her heat. “Though you probably wish it was wrapped around your neck, don’t you?” Y/N’s hips have started to grind against his hand, and he starts to rub her clit as his fingers curl inside of her. “You fucking love it when I choke you, don’t you? Such a dirty whore. My dirty whore,” Fred growls.
Fred feels like he might burst out of his trousers if he keeps teasing Y/N like this, so he reluctantly steps away from her and takes his hand from her shorts so he can rid himself of his bottoms. It’s a bit hard with his hand still clasped over Y/N’s mouth, but he makes it work. Once he’s naked from the waist down, Fred wraps his hand around himself and starts to slowly stroke his cock. “Am I ‘up’ enough for you?” he teases. “I’m gonna take my hand off of your mouth, but I want you to be a good girl and stay quiet for me, okay?”
“Need you so fucking bad, Freddie,” Y/N pants as soon as he’s removed his hand. “Need you to fuck me like the dirty whore I am.” Y/N lifts her hips up, helping Fred to rip her shorts and panties from her body. As soon as she’s naked, Y/N grabs Fred’s shoulders and pulls him in, kissing him hard. “You heard what the song said, just give me them babies.”
Fred clasps his hand around Y/N’s mouth once again as he shoves hips forward, fucking into her wet heat until their hips are flush together. He can feel her trying to make noises against his hand, and he starts to move his hips, fucking her at a fast pace. “Can’t wait until we’re back at home,” he growls, leaning forward so he can whisper in her ear. Y/N’s legs have started to shake as they wind around Fred’s waist, and he shoves a hand in between them to rub at her clit. “Gonna fuck you all night long, my hand around your throat as you scream my name.”
Y/N starts to breathe harder as her orgasm approaches, her hips moving in tandem with Fred’s. The tip of his cock drags against her g-spot with each thrust, and the dirty things he’s whispering in her ear are quickly pushing her towards her climax.
“Gonna make you ride my face and then ride my cock,” Fred whispers, nibbling on her ear lobe. Y/N clenches around him and his hips stutter as he moans. “You like that idea, huh? Love having your pussy eaten, don’t you? My dirty whore.” Fred starts to thrust harder as he feels his orgasm start to build. “Gonna have to choke you for a bit on my cock too, yeah? I know how much you love to gag around me as I fuck your throat.”
Y/N reaches her peak then, her whole body shaking from pleasure as she cums around Fred’s cock. Her hips to continue to move with Fred as her walls convulse and twitch around him, wanting him to reach his orgasm as well.  
Fred rests his forehead on Y/N’s shoulder as his thrusts turn sloppy, his orgasm nearing. “So fucking tight for me, baby. Feels so fucking good around my cock. Gonna cum. But that’s what you wanted, isn’t it baby? Wanted me to fuck you raw and pump you full of my seed, my little cum slut.” Y/N clenches around Fred one more time and it pushes him over the edge. He rolls his hips slowly to help him through his orgasm, his cock twitching as he releases deep inside Y/N.
“Fred,” Y/N whispers when his hand finally falls from her face again, before she pulls her face to hers. They kiss slowly as they both comes down from their highs, and Y/N whines against Fred’s mouth when he slowly pulls out of her. But a moan falls from her mouth as Fred slides two of his fingers back inside of her.
“Can’t let any of it leak out yet. Not if I’m gonna give you my babies,” he teases, pecking Y/N’s lips several times.
Y/N rolls her eyes, and pulls Fred closer, kissing him deeply. “Pretty sure the potion I’m on is gonna prevent that from happening no matter how long you keep your fingers inside of me.”
“A guy can dream, can’t he?” Fred asks playfully. He slowly pulls his fingers out of her and brings them up to Y/N’s mouth. Fred groans as she takes them into her mouth and sucks them clean, unable to look away. “This is our last night here, no matter what my mum says. We’re gonna be back in our bed tomorrow night so I can fuck you into the mattress.”
“Now who’s the desperate slut?” Y/N teases before kissing Fred again. She winces as he helps her off of the sink, before starting to collect her clothes. “Although I would much prefer a bed to the sink.”
They both get dresses quickly, not wanting to be gone for too much longer. Fred kisses Y/N deeply for a few moments before he lets her leave the bathroom, watching her hips sway as she walks away.
“Finally,” Ginny comments as Y/N reenters her bedroom. “You were gone for ages.”
Y/N can’t help the grin that takes over her face. “Sorry. I had to wait for Fr- I mean someone to finish doing me right. If you catch my drift.”
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plush-rabbit · 3 years
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Ice-Cream Date with Tomura Shigaraki
Request: Hello so may i request shigaraki with a s.o whos warm loving and protective and very innocent basically a s.o whos like mitsuri kanroji both personality and look wise
Female pronouns,maybe they are out on a date getting ice cream and the s.o is so happy shiggy came, they hold hands and people start giving him odd looks only for her to stand up to the bullies who are saying things about shigaraki, it ends with her kissing him infront of everyone to prove a point,and when the get home she tells him she doesnt care what people think and makes love to him topping hin while telling him all the reasons she fell inlove with him,(omg im so sorrry its so long if you have tpo many requests or dont like the idea please tell me)
Oh and the holding hands is more fingers
A/N: I hope I did this justice!! I also took a few liberties since he’s a villain, but I guess you can also count this before he officially popped up as a villain, so yeah!!
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Tomura isn’t one to want to go out on a date. He prefers staying at home, or with you, and just watching a movie, or playing a game. There are very few reasons that will push him to leave the comfort of his room, and even then, those are scarce and in between. You hardly push him to leave his room, and he’s thankful for that. Today, however, happens to be one of the few reasons that he wants to leave his room. A game that he had pre-ordered had finally released and you’ve been bugging him for a date, so both events just happen to collide together.
The game is in a plastic bag that is held carefully in his hands- in a rush to leave, he forgot his half-covering gloves- and he has you beside him. You still have yet to learn of his quirk and he doesn’t know when or if you’ll even learn of it. But right now, he doesn’t have to think of that, he can just walk with you through the mall, arms linked together as you pull him to the food court. It’s a nice day that the two of you get to spend together without the interruption of buffering wi-fi, or someone knocking against your door.
Throughout the walk in the mall, he can feel the eyes of people on both you and him. He isn’t sure if you’ve noticed it, or if you’re choosing to remain ignorant as you talk about a trip you took with friends. He isn’t sure why people are staring at the both of you. He doesn’t have a mutation quirk, so he doesn’t really understand why people are staring. And even if he did, it’s a world full of quirks, where people with mutations have existed for a long while. Perhaps it’s just that he looks… odd, for lack of a better word. He’s never cared too much about his appearance, but even so, with all the eyes on him, he can start to feel his skin crawl.
Sensei has told him time and time again, that the outside world is something he shouldn't fret over. And he listens. He’s been told how he’s much better than them. He knows that he’s much better than them. It doesn’t take away the itch, but it certainly helps him ignore the stares of people who walk past the two of you. Plus, he isn't going to cause a scene in such a heavily populated area. And certainly, not in front of you. No one has approached either of you, and for now, that’s enough to prevent him from ruining the small date that you both are on.
His skin burns. Small little pinpricks that bit against him, and make him not-so-subtle scratch and tug at his own skin. He can control the more incessant scratching, the one where he wants to claw his hands down his throat, but he worries that he’ll activate his quirk by accident. He keeps his hands away from you, balled up into fists that are shoved into his sweater pockets as you pull him to a small ice-cream shop. He whispers to you to order for him- he’ll take whatever it is- and he goes to sit down, kicking his seat outwards and sitting with his hands clenched into fists. The scratching has begun to grow worse and his sweater now scratches and pulls against his skin.
When you sit in front of him, a soft purple ice-cream for you, and a more yellowed one for him, he mumbles a thanks and begins to eat it, wanting to finish so the two of you can leave. You eat in silence and when you put your spoon down, you ask him if it were the people that’s making his tic so much more worse. Tic? Ah, that’s right, that’s the excuse that he told you on why he scratched so much. He’s actually surprised that you picked up on the people staring- you really were just playing ignorant. He tells you to ignore it, to just hurry up and finish and he bits on the plastic spoon when you frown.
With your cup in your hand, you stand up, mumbling about going to get more napkins, and he’s left watching you walk away. He bites on the spoon, tearing off small plastic bits and spitting them out to the floor. You have the napkins in your hand and just as you’re about to walk back to him, people stop you. His eyes narrow and he can tell by the way that you furrow your brows and sneer, that they aren’t friends. He watches, and slowly, his breath quickens, his hands wrapping around the styrofoam cup until nothing is in his hands. He stands up, his hand sticky and then he sees you throw your cup at the people, your words drowned out by the noise, until it quiets down, attention all on you now. He can’t make out the words, but that isn’t important.
You both meet each other halfway, the game bag held carefully and your hands pulling on his wrist- he swore that he could have stopped breathing with how close you were to his hand- and you press your lips against his. You turn on your heel and give a crude gesture to the people who stand with ice cream coating their clothes. He’s left staring as you pull him out of the mall, rushing into your car to go home.
The way home is silent, with music playing lightly on the stereo. It isn’t awkward, but rather nice, as he stares out the window, watching the cars fall behind as you race home. Once at your place, the door is locked and you’re left pacing back and forth in your living room. He watches from the couch with an almost bored expression as you go on about how people can still be so immature about looks when there is a world full of quirks. He smiles at the sentence as has calmed enough to not feel the burning desire to scratch, but rather just chew at his bottom lip.
His eyes meet yours and he sees your attitude fade, watching as your shoulders rest as if the weight had been lifted off. You walk towards him, and your hand cups the side of his face and he watches you with half-lidded eyes. Tomura finds it funny how much you care for his well-being, how you ask if he’s okay, how you wrap your other hand around his neck and play with the ends of his hair. It’s one of the few times that he feels more calm than sick and twisted. It doesn’t take long for you to go on about what you like about him- his determination, the way he lights up when speaking about an interest, how he always finds time to listen and talk with you during his schedule. Not wanting to hear more, he nods and presses his kiss against yours; different than the one you gave him, lighter, almost as if it were a memory that were pressed against you, and when he pulls away, he gives your a short nod and tells you thank you, quietly adding “for the ice cream” at the end.
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jypbae7 · 3 years
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Im Changkyun - Natal Chart
- requested by @jookyunz
Can’t remember if you wanted the 18+ section so I included it at the bottom and marked it incase you wanna skip it ❤️
(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️
Personality: Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Aquarius Mars
Aquarius Sun comes with lots of intrigue and lots of complexity - like the other air signs Aquarius is very adaptable and tends to prefer an “exciting life” (though earth signs tend to see this lifestyle as pure chaos lmao)
Aquarians tend to be intrigued by mystical things due to their very logical view of the world, this logical side can often lend to them coming off as cold or aloof but it’s less about that and more about their need to rule with the head and not the heart in order to avoid being thrown off the balance that they like (Aqua is a fixed sign) also they do NOT want to be hurt by people so the guard they have up towards the world is basically an iron curtain till they develop enough trust with you
Aries Moon is equally as spontaneous and adaptable but for a different motivation - Aries is bold and wants the most out of life and you can bet your bottom dollars they’ll do WHATEVER necessary to gain the lifestyle and goals they set for themselves.
But since they are naturally social butterflies and genuinely just want to have fun and encourage the people they love to reach for their dreams and have fun doing it, they tend to succeed rather easily since people are drawn to them. - All about confidence, bold styles, working hard because they NEED to be the best at whatever they do, but they definitely play hard too (as does every fire sign lmao)
As much as Aries and Aquarius like change and excitement - Capricorn Mercury does NOT. This adds a LOT of grounding and “tradition” to quick moving Aries and unconventional Asquarius.
Capricorn Mercurys are known to speak slow, quite monotonous and precise which I definitely have always felt about Changkyun. You’re not getting too much fluff or extra words from them because Capricorn finds it a waste of energy. They say what they mean when they mean it and not much else more. But this means they are good listeners and are very comfortable and unreliant on “attention” or “being in the spotlight” giving them added levels of independence. I also feel that this is why they are sooooo unbothered by other people’s opinions and friendship.
Aquarians straight up rather be alone than around fake people. They don’t care if they “fit in” with general norms because they don’t want to be like anyone else anyway lmao and they are interesting enough to keep themselves entertained. While Capricorn and Aries have places to go, people to see, and goals to crush so why the hell be worried about others???
Mixed with the other 2 placements it’s likely that his home is a serious sanctuary for him that he takes seriously. When he’s out in the world doing his busy schedules and chaotic traveling and work he’s happy and really feeding into the air and fire energy. But when he gets home it’s his Capricorn Mercury that is being nurtured and stimulated. He’s going to wanna hibernate there for a while without leaving especially if he’s been gone a long time. Could be either unbelievably messy or unbelievably neat but likely no inbetween with these placements lmao.
Aquarius Mars.... reminder that Aquarius is a fixed sign so this in Mars could mean one HELL of a temper or at least rage once he’s set off. But thankfully the Airy nature of Aqua means you’d really have to mess with him to get that kind of reaction because they generally really dislike being upset. They prefer staying content and neutral rather than having extreme feelings of any kind or it makes them veryyyyy edgy. If you can disagree with respect and if you provide logic instead of ego as your argument you’re likely to get a much better reaction from Aquarius
Relationships:
Non-Romantic Relationships & overall communication style: Aquarius Sun, Aries Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Aquarius Mars
Boy oh boyyyyyy he takes a LONG time to open up to people - 2 Aquarius placements and a Capricorn placement screamssssss trust issues and vulnerability issues
Capricorn doesn’t wanna sulk and talk about their problems so IF they trust you enough to come to you with an issue they want solutions and practical help and support
Is really cheered up by acts of service and quality time - watching a great movie even in complete silence just near each other on the couch in sweats tucked under cozy blankets or getting surprised with their favorite dinner can boost their mood instantly
Aries Moon as I said before is a natural in social situations and tends to draw attention even when they aren’t trying so he’s bound to come off a lot more open and friendly than he actually is. The deep stuff won’t come out till he REALLY knows and trusts you and even then… in SMALL increments
That said he’s a super fun friend to have - down for adventures, actually thinks about and puts effort into doing cool stuff with friends and loved ones
When it comes to friendships he shows care through quality time and acts of service
When he buys gifts for people he cares about they are BOMB - cool as fuck and either one or a combination of the following: one of a kind, meaningful as fuck, and/ or super expensive - most likely fashion, jewelry, something music related, or super cool stuff from his travels
Romantic relationships and preferences : Pisces Venus, Aquarius Mars, Aquarius Juno, Aries Eros
Lmao even MORE Aquarius and Aries energy
Ok into the main meat - these four placements are particularly interesting combo: 2 fixed air (Aqua), 1 mutable water (Pisces) and 1 Cardinal Fire (Aries)
Aqua Juno - generally hints at a pretty unconventional relationship and this can come in manyyyyy forms for the very unique and varied Aquarians (partnership without legal marriage, mixed race/culture couple, could even mean choosing a bachelor lifestyle over any normal type of relationship, etc.) - given that Changkyun seems quite close with his parents and his interest in kids I’d say he’s unlikely to choose the bachelor route.
For a lot of Aquarians unconventional can also come in the form of a very stimulating partner, they enjoy learning and expanding their minds and experiences which is why they tend to run towards challenges that others would run from. I think someone who shares similar passions but varied skills and/or background would fulfil that for him. Aquarius, Pisces and Aries like to be stimulated A LOT.
Pisces in Venus is a tricky placement - can be pretty hot and cold, lots of mixed signals, you should be ready to be stood up or flaked on atleast once in the beginning🙄) BUT if you actually manage to earn their trust and dedication they make very caring partners.
Pisces in Venus is art gallery and museum dates, binge watching documentaries especially murder mystery, and spending most of the summer near the closest body of water.
Aries Eros fantasizes about being in a partnership that others look at as a power couple but they’ll never admit it - they dream of a partner who is in awe of them and their accomplishments but has their own big goals and successes to cater to as well. They like people they can grow with as individuals and as a couple. Push and pull works really well with Aries (and the other two fire signs too honestly) they like the cat and mouse thing and they like to have time to miss & yearn for their partner especially the men - absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Love languages in order from most to least: quality time, physical touch, acts of service, gift giving
Aries is a strong sign and they want and need a real partner who respects and supports their independence and boss energy but also can nurture their softer more vulnerable side and be the strong one for them when they need it
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***** 18+ Preferences ****
Ooof this should honestly come as a surprise to NO ONE but damn placements do NOT lie...Im Changkyun is one freaky ass boy
I mean ARIES EROS???? Let me spell that out for y’all: fucks you like he absolutely fucking hates you or ties you up like a present and edges you for hours till you’re crying
LOVES, let me repeat LOVES jealousy sex - whether it’s you being jealous of all the screaming thirsting fans he has or him being jealous of guys getting too close too you for his comfort - he is allllllllll about taking that energy directly into the bedroom ASAP (or a bathroom or even closet if it locks 🤐)
Could and WOULD makeout for hours on end - especially if he’s been drinking
The more you switch it up the more excited he is - with all them Aquarius placements it should be pretttyyyyyy often
Different positions, lingerie, role play - any and all of it excite him
With a partner he actually trusts and has feelings for I can see him being extremely open minded to trying things (though obviously EVERYONE has limits and boundaries)
Toys, blindfolds, handcuffs, whip cream, hot wax, spanking - all a STRONG yes
Get the strong feeling he has strong preference to use his mouth often - lots of kissing (passionate, needy, messy - sometimes more aggressive) , likes to give and receive hickeys, wants to kiss all over his partner’s body and LOVES oral both receiving and giving (and I get the feeling he’s TOO good at that 👀)
More willing to let his partner take control than you might think - he’s not a switch but he just doesn’t think you initiating or “being in control” makes him any less dominant. In fact it’s probably the opposite; you showing your desire to that point actually makes him feel MORE dominant and masculine
Literally could find anyone and everyone beautiful - is more attracted to people’s minds, spirit and energy than physical looks (BIG Pisces and Aquarian thing)
Gets turned on every single time he sees you in the crowd at one of his shows - makes him feel like you are the only two people in the world (drives his Aries Eros INSANE - gets a kick out of the slight power play of being on stage in front of so many people, as well as the secrecy and raw passionate energy of it all)
Tattoos, piercings, colorful wigs, or even just interesting jewelry paired with the right lingerie or outfit will have him 🤯- think short black see-through lace robe with nothing on underneath except a sparkling body chain dripping from your body....yep he’ll eat you like a main dish in .00000000023 seconds
Hope you enjoyed! 💕
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ptersparkers · 3 years
Text
put your head on my shoulder
summary: jake virtanen’s got his eye on a certain friend of his. 
notes: uh, hey! this isn’t meant to be long but i had an idea and needed to get it out of my system. this is an x reader insert but i wanted to try writing from a different perspective and challenge myself. enjoy!! 
warnings: mentions of alcohol and general dumbassery from brock <3
masterlist n stuff + add yourself to my taglist 
(as a reminder, im NOT writing for outer banks anymore so please don’t add yourself to a specific list. you’re gonna be disappointed lol.) 
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***
The girl who had Jake’s attention at the beginning of the night was slowly losing her patience when she noticed his eyes wander instead of focusing on her.
Jessica, in her prim little black dress that was short enough for her liking, came to the house party with the intention to have her dress taken off by none other than Jake Virtanen after one of her friends had mentioned how easy it was for her to do it. The girl wrapped her lips around the beer bottle seductively every time she went to take a sip, watching as his Adam’s apple moved with every syllable as he spoke.
She knew the host of the party and knew he was friends with some of the Canucks players, and knew it would be easy to get lost in the crowd of other Vancouver locals and visitors who were there to celebrate a successful week of wins. Jessica was sure to arrive fashionably late with her best friend by her side and paid no attention to the gazes of other men down her body, her own mission to find Jake more prevalent than lustful stares from drunk men.
Jake entertained the girl when she spotted one of their mutual friends, who was standing next to him, and made her presence known when she said hello over the loud music. Their mutual friend adopted her into the conversation and she put herself right next to the player, tucking herself by his side in an attempt to distance herself from the other partygoers beside her. She didn’t think Jake minded after seeing him give her a close-mouthed smile and licked her lips.
If Jessica could remember correctly, her friend had hooked up with Jake a few months back and, to her knowledge, was still single. She tried to remember how her friend had managed to seduce him with a few drinks in both of their systems and little conversation. Jessica was itching to leave the party with Jake’s hand in hers (or find the nearest unoccupied bedroom because she wasn’t picky) but the pleasant conversation between Jake and their mutual friend seemed to keep him preoccupied, leaving Jessica no room to interject.
After a while, their mutual friend excused themselves to say hello to another individual at the party and the group that had gathered to talk began to disperse or left to grab another drink. Jessica considered the best way to seduce Jake without being completely upfront and forward.
But when her eyes looked at his face, she could see his mind was elsewhere.
They continued the conversation from before but she steered the discussion to get to know him; where he was from, what he did in his free time, and how he knew the host of the party, all of which she knew but wanted to hear anyway. Jake spoke to Jessica nonchalantly and seemed to reciprocate the kindness Jessica was showing him. To her, it seemed as if he was genuinely interested in her advances because he didn’t shrug off her hand that she put on his bicep nor flinched when she swatted his chest whenever he made her laugh.
Jake’s eyes began to wander a few minutes into their conversation and she was wondering if he was looking for someone in particular. His tattoos were on full display and all Jessica could think about was his arms wrapped tightly around her, encouraging her to continue the mission she set herself on. She licked her lips more, tried to fix her posture to make herself look more appealing in the moment, and made intense eye contact with the hopes that he’d pick up what she was putting down.
However, her efforts would be unrewarded when he excused himself from their conversation, leaving Jessica standing alone. One of her friends had pulled her into their circle but she watched from her place as Jake traveled to the front of the house and could make out his white shirt until he stopped near the front door. She couldn’t see much past the bodies in front of her but saw a pair of arms—that looked to be from a woman—wrap themselves around his torso for a brief moment before letting him go.
Jessica wondered who the girl was and did her best to listen to her friends speaking but watched from the corner of her eye as Jake arrived with you, a girl she had never met before.
Jake walked behind you as you approached where Jessica was standing and waved hello to the people in the group Jessica was standing with. She looked at Jake and saw that his gaze wasn’t on her anymore but on you as you introduced yourself to those you didn’t know, including Jessica herself.
“God, it’s loud in here, huh?” you said, laughing at your own comment.
“Maybe a little too loud,” one of Jessica’s friends chimed in. “I can feel my ears ringing.” 
“I’m Y/N,” you said, giving Jessica a friendly wave.
“Jessica,” she replied with a nod and reciprocated your smile, though not as genuine. “How do you know the host?” 
“Work friend! He invites me to these things and I’m not one to go out every weekend but Jake convinced me to go.” Jessica watched as Jake looked down to your smaller figure and grinned.
“Hey, everyone needs a good Friday night,” he said.
“Amen to that!” Jessica’s best friend exclaimed before finishing her drink. 
“How do you know Jake?” someone asked. Jessica was relieved that she didn’t ask the question because she felt like she would’ve been invasive if she did.
“We met through Brock and Elias,” Jake explained. “She used to work at this coffee place they go to and I guess they stayed in touch after she left. The rest is history.”
Jessica witnessed Jake put his arm around her shoulder, letting his hand fall and watched as you leaned into his side. She watched as his grin stayed painted on his lips and sighed.
Eventually, the conversation took a turn and the small group that gathered for a while had dispersed throughout the gargantuan house. Jessica followed her friend to the spacious balcony and was pleased when Jake made the executive decision to do the same. But her hopes lessened when she saw Jake lead you to a less crowded part of the balcony.
Jessica watched as he used his right hand to squish your cheeks, laughing at your contorted expression and your pouted lips. She watched as he put his arms on your waist and moved your body to the beat of the song as you spoke. She watched as you took his hands and began examining them as if you’d never seen his body before and witnessed as Jake grinned at the sight of you comparing the size of your hands to his.
She could hear you two speak in the hum of the night despite the volume of the music inside and the chatter of people on the balcony.
“Your hands are so soft,” you commented, toying with his fingers and clasping them with yours. Jake laughed and used this to his advantage, pulling your body flush against his. “You’re so soft.”
“I’m not soft,” Jake mumbled in the crook of your neck, hiding his face from view as you feel his breaths on your neck.
Your hand was still wrapped in his and Jake made no effort to let go. He maneuvered so that your body was in front of his with your back flush against his chest and when he heard you laugh, Jake’s cheeks deepened into a rose blush. His hands clasped around the front of your body and moved the two of you as if a slow along was echoing through the balcony and he watched as you bit your lip. He let his cheek rest against the top of your head, a content smile resting on his lips.
“Are they together?” Jessica asked Brock, who came outside with the girl she came with. The blond looked at her before glancing at where you two stood, grinning knowingly.
“Not yet,” he said.
“Yet?”
Brock looked at Jessica, who he knew in passing and saw only at public events and parties, and shrugged.
“I don’t really know how to explain it,” he explained. “They’ve been friends for a while but he’s very gentle with her.”
“So they’re dating, then?” she asked.
“Like I said, not yet.” Brock smiled politely and left her standing on the ledge in favor of speaking with another friend.
Jessica watched as Jake spun you around to face him once more and used his hands to cup your face, his thumbs stroking your cheeks as your eyes fluttered close in pure delight. He murmured what Jessica could make out as “I want to kiss you” and watched as Jake waited for your consent before keeping his hands steady and pressing his lips to yours.
Jessica couldn’t watch anymore without feeling invasive so she left the balcony to find another drink.
“You. Are. So. Cute,” Jake said in between kisses while squishing your cheeks between his palms. He laughed as he watched your eyes widened in surprise at his actions before removing his hands to slip by your waist once more, pulling you closer to him.
“We aren’t just friends, are we?” you asked him as you put your hands on his chest, toying with the chain around his neck.
“You’ve always been my girl,” he confessed. “I haven’t thought about being with another girl for a few months now but I think I’ve felt this way ever since you chewed Brock out for standing on a swivel chair.”
You laughed at the memory and tugged on his chain mindlessly and Jake watched as your fingers wrapped themselves around the gold material and dug his fingers into your hips. You squealed and Jake laughed at your reaction.
“Come home with me,” you mumbled before widening your eyes. “I mean, not like that. I just want to go home and watch a movie.”
“Mm,” he replied, dipping his head to pepper kisses along your jawline. “That sounds nice. Stop to buy snacks on the way home?”
“You are the perfect person.”
Jake laughed and pulled away, holding your hand in his as he made his rounds. The both of you said goodbye to mutual friends and both Brock and Elias gave you two thumbs up.
His hand was on your thigh on the drive home and he kissed the back of your hand when your eyes were fluttering shut.
“Don’t sleep on me yet, pretty girl,” he said gently, squeezing your thigh. “You can sleep when we get home.”
True to his word, Jake let you sleep, wrapped up in a blanket with your head on his chest.
+++
taglist: 
@thedemonsimpofcamphalfblood​ @kerwritesthings @oc3an-vib3s @kaitieskidmore1​ @becihadshawn @storiesbymads​. 
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missmorosis · 3 years
Text
Jealous
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anonymous asked:
I’m BEGGING for a hc where zuko and sokka like the reader and get jealous of one another. Plot can be anything! :)))
anonymous asked:
oomgomg Hii u replied to me earlier 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 LOVE THAT YOU LOVE SOKKA!!! I love zuko too but sokka needs more appreciation imo.
Would u ever write an zuko and sokka x reader or oc where they both like the same person? Because I find myself conflicted between who I like more because they’re great for totally different reasons! Idkk but anyways looking forward to reading more of ur work!! And happy early valentines dayyyy 💕💕💕💕💕
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please this prompt makes my true beauty heart go 📈📈📈
ALSO THE TWO OF YOU BASICALLY HAD THE SAME REQUEST LSAKDJS
enjoyyy <33 THIS MAKES NO SENSE IM SORRY
Pairings: Sokka x Reader x Zuko
Warnings: fainting and sickness (sighh yes yes i wrote another sickfic IM OBSESSED) & it may be the worst thing ive ever written-
Summary: a sick y/n is caught up in a love triangle... which boy is better?
Word count: 1.4k :)
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The doorbell rang, and Y/N rushed to answer it. She opened the door to reveal a smiling Sokka. He was your best friend, so he normally showed up unannounced once in a while.
"Hey, Y/N!" he said.
"Hi, Sokka! What brings you here?"
"Knowing you, you probably haven't had dinner yet?" She nodded with a laugh. "Wanna get something to eat?"
It was past dinnertime, and she still wasn't hungry... In fact, the thought of food made her nauseous. Y/N nodded anyways, and Sokka smiled, getting his car keys out of his pocket.
Driving past the streets, the two blasted music out of the car's speakers, and Sokka sang along to all of the pop songs on the radio. Y/N laughed at the silly expression Sokka had on his face, even though the music was way too loud; it was honestly giving her a headache, but it was okay. She looked out the window to see Zuko, another close friend, heading out of the Jasmine Dragon. He must've just finished work...
"Oh, it's Zuko!" she chirped, giving him a wave. Sokka said nothing, his singing quieting down to silence, but he pulled over anyways to say hi. He parked his car, and the two hopped out.
“Y/N!” Zuko ran over with a huge grin on his face, waving his hand as a greeting. “Nice to see you again! Oh... hi Sokka.” Zuko’s cheerful smile slowly morphed into one of distaste when he noticed that she had been with Sokka.
“Hey, Zuko,” Sokka acknowledged. Y/N turned to see that Sokka’s face also fell when his eyes met Zuko’s. Sokka slung an unnecessary protective arm over her shoulders, and Y/N cleared her throat to clear up the growing tension. Shaking Sokka’s arm off, she opened her mouth to speak.
"Is it cold out here or is it just me?" Y/N blurted, causing Zuko and Sokka to look at each other worriedly. Sokka pulled off his jacket to throw it onto her. He zipped it up, and met her eyes.
"It's not cold at all... you feeling okay?" Y/N nodded slowly, signaling that she was okay, so Zuko and Sokka dropped the subject. She could have sworn it was chilly out.
"Anyways," Sokka continued, heading into his car, "wanna go grab dinner together or something?” The other two nodded, also following Sokka into the car. Y/N hopped into the passenger seat, and Zuko was stuck in the back seats. She could tell he wasn’t happy with her sitting next to Sokka, but she ignored it. They were just being plain childish, and it was giving her a headache.
“Oh, Y/N,” Sokka started. “I went to-”
"Sokka, go left," Zuko interuppted. Sokka sighed and turned the wheel, following through with Zuko’s command. 
As the car turned, it pushed Y/N to the side of the car, forcing her to lean on the car door. Deciding not to get up, she nuzzled closer to the car window, her warm breath fogging it up. She blinked, trying to stop the growing sleepiness clouding her head. 
Y/N heard Sokka ramble on about his day in the background, and her eyes closed for a second... just a second. She was just so... exhausted...
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"Hey... Y/N? Are you asleep?" Sokka's voice asked softly. He poked her side, making her slightly stir awake. She tried to lift her heavy eyelids. Wow, she felt so sluggish.
"What, is Sokka boring?" Zuko laughed, as Sokka gasped, offended. "I should have been the one driving next to her."
"Y/NNN- how could you fall asleep in the middle of my story?" Sokka shook Y/N awake with his free arm. "Come on, you can't leave me with Zuko."
"Hmm?" Y/N hummed quietly, letting them know she was awake. Her voice was raspy; she had a sore throat, but the boys seemed to wave it off as a symptom of sleepiness.
"Am I too boring for you?" Sokka asked.
"No, of course no-"
"So you're saying you'd be with Sokka rather than me?" Zuko accused.
"N-no-"
"So you'd rather be with Zuko?"
"What? You guys are arguing for no reason," she mumbled, but the two boys ignored her.
"Of course she'd rather be with me; she's just too nice to say that to your face," Sokka argued, his voice increasing in volume.
"No, then why would she fall asleep while you were talking? You're boring." Zuko's voice was also loud.
"Please stop," Y/N whispered, rubbing her temples, and this gesture didn’t go unnoticed. Sokka and Zuko froze at once, watching her with concern.
"You have a headache? Are you sick?" Sokka asked immediately. Y/N sighed and nodded.
"Is... that why you fell asleep- because you were sick?" Zuko added, and Y/N nodded again weakly, and sighed. Sokka reached out next to him and put his hand on her forehead.
"Y/N, you're burning up..." Sokka gasped.
"Let me see," Zuko mumbled, placing his hand on her forehead. He sighed. "Y/N, you feel really warm."
"I'm so sorry for waking you up- it would have been better for you to stay asleep," Sokka apologized.
"No, no. It's my fault." She shivered, pulling Sokka's jacket tighter. “If I knew I was sick, I shouldn’t have come with you guys.”
"Here, have my jacket, too." Zuko wrapped his jacket over her as well, draping it over her shoulders.
"She doesn't need more than one, Zuko," Sokka scoffed quietly. "Anyways, we can go home if you'd like?"
"Oh, no, don't worry about me! We can go get dinner or something, it's just a headache. It'll go away," she reassured them.
"I don't know..." Zuko said. "Maybe we can get something to eat at your house?" Sokka turned around, heading back towards Y/N's home.
"I agree, you need rest." Sokka looked at her in the mirror. "Sorry to break it to ya, but you don't look so good."
"Okay... if that's alright..." she said, and Sokka smiled.
Everyone arrived at Y/N's house, and Zuko helped you out.
"Shall we?" he asked, gently grabbing your hand.
"C'mon, Y/N," Sokka said, glaring at Zuko. He grabbed your other hand, and pulled you along.
"Y/N," Zuko muttered.
"Zuko, let go of her," Sokka said, warningly.
"Who do you think I am? I don't have to listen to you," Zuko snapped back.
"You guys are driving me insane, can't you both just shut up and get along?" Her voice now matched theirs in volume, and the two stopped arguing, looking apologetic.
Boy, were you lightheaded all of a sudden. She staggered on her feet, and she buried her face in her hands. Not now...
"What's wrong?" Sokka's voice immediately asked.
"Are... are we scaring you? We promise it's not going to get too serious..." Zuko sounded concerned. She could feel both of the boys' arms hovering around her body, trying to protect her, catch her if she fell, or give her reassurance.
"No, no..." she breathed. "I'm.. fine..." With that, she promptly passed out.
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Both boys rushed to be the one who caught Y/N. Zuko scooped her up into his arms, and he carried her into her room, leaving Sokka alone.
Zuko gently laid her down onto her bed, pulling the blanket over her. With a swift kiss that he was tempted to do all evening, he got up and headed out the door.
"Well..." he said, glancing at Sokka. The atmosphere was now awkward, and neither boy was going to leave for a while...
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Y/N woke up, and judging from her headache and how warm she felt, she wasn't any better. Groaning, she got out of bed, expecting to be alone, but she was wrong.
She opened her eyes to see two boys asleep on the couch. They had stayed...
Medicine was laid out for her on the counter, and she gladly took it.
"Y/N?" Zuko's voice croaked, making her jump.
"Oh, hey... I wasn't expecting you two to stay..." she said, and he rolled his eyes.
"Of course we stayed... you feeling better?" Concern was written all over his face.
"I still feel like trash..." she answered truthfully.
"Maybe I can kiss it better," Sokka said with a small, playful smile, now awake as well, and she laughed.
"Anyways, thank you both..." She gave a quick kiss on both of their foreheads, making both of them blush. "Now, get some rest at home... I'll be fine."
"No way, I'm staying," both said at the same time. Y/N sighed; there was no way of getting rid of them, and she loved them for that.
"Do you need anything?" Sokka asked, getting up to get her some water.
"Nah, I'm alright... we can watch a movie, though?" She flopped onto the couch, in between the two boys. She turned on the classic Meet the Robinsons and laid back.
Both boys rested their heads on her shoulders, and she laughed.
"You two are idiots, you're going to get sick." They shrugged, and she smiled.
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LMAOBDJJEEK OKAY WHOO IM TIRED BUT I WANTED TO GET SOMETHING OUT
this is totally unedited too IM SORRY
taglist (send an ask to get added!) @urmomoness @zuko-is-the-sun @busyforkuvira @appa-gaangnam-style @xxspqcebunsxx @akiris @welovediaaxx @ray-ofmoonlight @sokkaandzukosimp @u-4iia @sunnimochix @kaylove12
Zuko taglist: @duh-dobrik
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graceloveswolves · 4 years
Text
Insatiable Pt3
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Okay so I wasn’t planning on making a part 3 originally but I just love this idea so much so here you guys go!
________________________
Today was the day.
I was standing with my mate Resmond. He had on a suit, and I had worn a red sparkly dress, it stopped above my knees and had a loose and open back, resting against my hips. Clara had picked it out for me, she always had such better taste in clothes then I have had.
“The venue is lovely, kind of a shame we didn’t have a huge wedding don’t you think?” Res had envied, looking around at the snow covered ground, the landscape was breath taking. I looked at the winter wonderland themed wedding, it looked like something out of a movie. Everything was perfectly placed, not a single flaw in the setting.
“No. Our wedding was perfect. It was special.” I disagreed, taking his hand and wrapping it around my shoulders. I stood on my tiptoes, and whispered against his ear.
“But if you want to redo our wedding night I have no complaints here.” I felt him stiffen as he looked down at me, raising his eyebrow with a surprised smirk plastered on his face. “That was very bold of you. Don’t tempt me love, Clara’s been dying to throw another wedding.” He replied, eyeing the curious blonde across the venue, that was talking to Irinia-one of the Denali sisters.
I smiled at the sight, she always was good at making new friends. I let my gaze wander, taking it the different crowds of vampires from around the world. Suddenly I stiffened, my icy heart dropping to the pit of my stomach. I felt as if I was going to puke, which wouldn’t be possible but none the less.
I had accidentally made eye contact with a familiar pixie that I would’ve known anywhere.
“Oh no.” I gasped, dropping my gaze to the ground beneath me as I saw her making her way towards me. Resmond had put two and two together, letting his arm fall from my shoulders and pushing me behind him.
“That’s close enough.” Resmond demanded, however not phasing Alice in the slightest. Then without a single beat, a familiar cowboy had made his presence near Alice.
“Jasper. Alice.” I stated their names, pulling Res back a few steps, as a signal that everything was okay. I felt unusually calm, no doubt in my mind that Jasper had been using his mojo on all of us. “This is my mate, Resmond. Res, this is Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale, they are from my old coven.” I introduced the pair, glad that the tension was slowly fading.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Jasper had politely nodded towards Resmond, who seemed calm and collected now. “Well, Im going to find Clinton. He’s no doubt already in some sort of trouble. I’ll leave you to catch up with your friends. If you need me...” he trailed off, already knowing that I knew the drill.
“Yes, have fun.” I dismissed Resmond, he was not good at making new friends, and I didn’t expect him to want to get to know the family I had left behind. Once he was gone, I had looked at my old sister.
“Well...Aren’t you going to give me a hug?” Alice asked, opening her arms up to me. I smiled, practically jumping into her arms. I had felt such bliss, reuniting with Alice. She had always had such a bubbly and happy personality. Once I had broken from her grasp, I turned to Jasper, who also given me a quick but loving hug.
“How have you guys been? I’m sorry I have been such a stranger. It’s just with everything that happened with...” I couldn’t bring myself to say his name aloud. Thought I already knew I didn’t have to. “We have been good, we have been in Ithaca for awhile. Jasper’s enrolled as a philosophy student and Carlisle works nights.” Alice said, shocking me.
“You left Forks?” I questioned the short pixie in front of me, I wondered if that’s why Carlisle was looking for me. Maybe he didn’t want to leave me behind in case I had decided to come back. But why? They had such a perfect set up in Forks. They should be leaving until another few years. Then the realization had hit me, they must’ve gotten in trouble with the human, why else had they flee from a perfectly normal town.
“Yes. Edward hadn’t wanted to stay there anymore, so we left.” Jasper answered for his mate. I could practically roll my eyes, of course, Carlisle would have done anything for his precious Edward.
Carlisle.
My eyes widened, I turned to Alice, surely she’d seen me ask the questioned I had been dying to ask since I saw her. She looked at me with sympathy, nodding her head.
“Yes. He is here. Over by the river.” Alice responded to the question I hadn’t asked out loud. Suddenly music had started to play, to which I nodded in gratefulness as Jasper pulled her into the dance floor. I smiled at the couple as they started to dance. They had completed each other’s life, it made me happy that nothing has changed between them.
I then gazed over by the river that was a few hundred yards from the venue. There was a few vampires chatting at the tables that had been placed there, however my eyes fell on the one vampire sitting by himself. The blonde vampire was at the edge of the river farthest from the others, sitting in solitude. Or more like waiting. I bet Alice had seen this beforehand. Maybe she even planned it all herself. There was no telling when it came to her.
I was near the river in seconds, deciding to walk the next few yards. I felt the pit in my stomach grow bigger by each step I had taken, growing closer and closer to my creator. I didn’t dare to look up to see if he had taken notice in my figure, I already knew that he probably had. Instead I became very focused on the snow beneath me, watching as I left a shoe print with each step.
Part of me had wanted to turn around and go back to the dance floor, maybe dance with Resmond or Braxton. Chat with Clara, or even with my old siblings in the Cullen clan. But despite all of the anxiety and regret, deep down I had craved seeing Carlisle. I needed to have this talk to him, then I could finally move on. Then I could finally be happy with Resmond.
Once I had gotten to the edge of the river, I had sat down next to Carlisle. I didn’t look at him, I just took in his smell, which I haven’t smelt in over a year. Nor had I been this close to him since the falling out. It was quiet, we just sat and looked at the river in front of us, listening to it flow freely.
I could feel his stare burning into the side of my face. He had been waiting for me to speak, but I was still trying to find the right words to say. I grabbed a fist full of snow that had laid beside me.
Don’t be a coward.
“What a wonderful wedding, don’t you think?” I had finally spoken. Trying to break the silence, hopefully that didn’t sound as stupid as I thought it did. I had finally turned to face him, to which I was right, he had been staring at my face. He seemed somewhat mad when he had met my eyes.
“You never came back.” He responded, making me look back out into the river. He had not felt the need to beat around the bush apparently. Getting straight it the point I guess.
“I didnt see the need. You made it clear that I was never on your list of priorities Carlisle.” I tossed a chunk of snow in the water, watching the ripples fade away as the snow melted into the river.
“You were my very first creation Y/n, I spent the majority of my life with you, you were always one of my top priorities.” He defended himself.
“You certainly had a unique way of showing it. Tell me, what was the real reason you left Forks? Was it because of the human?” I pressed, my way of indirectly telling him I told you so.
“You were right. I am sorry I hadn’t listened to you the first time. But you did not have to disappear, I would have given you your space, you didn’t have to leave me wondering every day whether or not you were even alive.”
“You had Edward, you didn’t need me. And look, I’m still alive.” I gestured to myself, looking back at the man who I spend more then half my exsistence with. He had a pained look on his face, his eyes eyeing me up and down.
“Edward was not my first creation, I did not spend over 200 years with him alone. Did you know how much pain you put me in? I spend every day thinking of ways to get you back. You were mine, and I had lost you. You were the only one I did not worry about leaving, and you did.”
“Well I’m not yours anymore. You couldn’t appreciate what you had while you had it. I found someone else who does, every single night.” I rubbed in, snapping at him.
There was silence between us for a few moments. Carlisle looked like he was thinking, trying to find something to say to defend himself, but even he knew his errors in his treatment towards me. He had sighed, giving up.
“Are you happy?” He had asked me.
“Yes.”
I had responded immediately, I raised my left hand up, flashing him my wedding ring that Resmond had proposed to me.
“ Well I guess that’s all the matters.” Carlisle had said, he had a tint of sadness in his voice.
“What about Esme? Haven’t you two gotten married already?” I brought up his mate. He had refused any intentions of marrying her in the past, but I had secretly knew he loved her, he just didn’t want to upset me.
“We eloped, she is at home with Edward. She didn’t want to leave him, not in his state. He had taken it hard, leaving Bella behind.” Carlisle explained.
“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about that.” I had given my sorrows to him.
“Thank you.”
Once again we had been left in silence. I debated on saying something, but I had heard footprints behind us.
“Y/n my Love, would you like to dance?” I heard Resmond from behind me.
I looked back at Carlisle, who had smiled softly at me. “Well, I guess it’s finally time to let you live your life. Have a nice life Y/n, go be happy.” Carlisle had gestured to Resmond. I smiled, nodding back at him.
“You too Carlisle. Thank you, for giving me this life.” To which I gave him one last look, before turning around hand in hand with Resmond.
I had felt peace.
I knew deep down it wouldn’t be the last time I saw Carlisle, but I could finally let go of him. I could start my new life with Resmond, who I loved and he loved me back.
And that was all I needed.
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kaylorrehabcenter · 3 years
Text
Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is
Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!
And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)
1. Fearless 15/10
Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.
“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”
Y’ALL
The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.
“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”
This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 
This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.
“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”
This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.
All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.
2. Fifteen 1/10
Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.
Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.
“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”
This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.
Other highlights that make me sob include.
“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”
Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)
(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)
3. Love Story 8/10
Tried to change the ending indeed.
This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)
This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.
“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”
More rural town angst!!!
Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.
“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”
Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.
“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”
Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)
Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)
Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.
4. Hey Stephen 1/10
The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.
This song is very painfully straight.
How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.
The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.
Still a cute song.
“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”
5. White Horse 1/10
Oh look. It’s track five. 
You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.
Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 
She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 
“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”
“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”
These lines hit though!!
And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!
Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3
6. You Belong With Me 5/10
Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.
You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.
7. Breathe 8/10
Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!
It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.
I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.
“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”
“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”
Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 
8. Tell Me Why 3/10
You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.
This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.
“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”
This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 
“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”
Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 
9. You’re not Sorry 1/10
Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.
Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.
10. The Way I Loved You 20/10
Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.
WELL THAT WAS A LIE.
Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.
This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.
Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?
Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.
“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”
AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?
“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”
Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.
Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.
11. Forever and Always 6/10
Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.
Still pretty straight.
Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”
This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew
12. The Best Day 0/10
This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.
Still makes me cry.
God bless Andrea Swift indeed
13. Change 13/10
We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.
We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 
“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”
“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”
The music video is cringe though lol
14. Jump then Fall 10/10
This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3
Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 
“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”
Like. Look at this shit.
“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”
Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.
“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”
And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??
“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”
I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.
15. Untouchable 9/10
How does she make a cover sound gay.
It sounds so gay.
“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10
This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.
17. Come in With the Rain 3/10
I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.
But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.
18. Superstar 7/10
You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.
You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight.��
>:)
19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10
Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!
And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight
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sword-brainrot · 2 years
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Hi it’s me again and I saw your matchups request are open. If you don’t mind could you help me find a sword boi for me?
Pronouns are she/her and call me fujikiri. My personality is like of a chihuahua. I tend to act tough and will try to pick a fight with someone bigger than me only to get get my ass handed to me. I’m also a big klutz. I trip over myself real easily and most of the time I’m not seen without a bruise or two on my body. I’m a real picky eater and have a limited palette which may seem unhealthy to people but I don’t want it to change I’m my eyes. I tend to forget things easily and neglect my own health. It gets so bad that I forget to eat for the whole day and stays up almost all night playings games. My favorite things to do is to watch movies draw listen to music and find new things from different cultures. Oh I find it fun to imitate the sword boys when they on screen. I do want to learn new things like how to draw out a katana and use it but I never have the motivation to do so. When I meet new people im shy and use passive gesture and always a few steps back from the person next to me who’s introducing me to that stranger. Let’s say if I do become closer to the stranger then I become more outgoing loud and exited feeling more comfortable. Large crowds tends to drain my energy a lot so i avoid them as much as possible. I’m totally an indoor person, I have a huge fear of bugs, heights, loud noise and anything that goes fast. Totally a worry wart and will worry about the smallest things even when people say it’s fine.
What I want in a man is someone who will understand me. I have times where I want to be treated like a princess and others when I want to be taken seriously. I want a man who can pick up on those cues easily. He needs to be strong and brave to rescue me for when I go and do my idiotic things that I know to well and good that it’s not going to end like how I wanted to end. I really like the more mature men who are business like and get right down to point, contrasting to my bubbly and care free nature. height wise couldn’t care less about it since I like tall men (and mostly all of them are taller me so what’s the point) but I would like to have room to climb on his back like a squirrel. Oh also I want a tough looking man that has tattoos and doesn’t mind me asking a lot of questions about them and his life. Sword type I would like any of them except for the tantous. I think of them as little brothers or my children. The only sword i can’t accept that isn’t a tantou is yamanbagiri Kunihiro. He’s my precious bean when I look at him I just see a pure bean that needs to be protected.
Thank you once again if you decide to read this request and making a match up I hope I’m not to late.
Not too many have tattoos so I thought of it as "Are they willing to answer questions about themselves if you asked"
Either way! I hope you like your match 💘
I Match You With...
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🌸 Sanchoumou 🌸
♡  Sanchoumou would find your chihuahua personality very endearing, especially if you were trying to size him up. He is someone who is very laid back despite his position so he would find that part of your personality very entertaining. Something to spice up his life and not have everyone intimidated by him, someone who is willing to express their true opinion of the leader.
♡  At first Sanchoumou wouldn’t think much about your bruise because he would just assume you had fallen. After a while, seeing you constantly with one in a different part of your body, you will unlock worried bird dad. He would start asking you where you got the bruise because he would think someone is bullying you and the only one who is allowed to tease you, is him.
♡  After finding out it’s just because you fell, he would laugh and ask. “Shall I have one of my men be your bodyguard? You never know when a pebble may attack, little bird.”
♡  Getting close to the current leader of the Ichimonji Clan will mean he will slowly grow very protective of you and will spoil you at a moments notice.
♡  He would do it in ways that seems like he didn’t go out of his way to help. Finds out a food you have been craving? Suddenly when the two of you are hanging out, he will have bought too much and needs you to eat some. You’re sick? The best medicine he can find and one of his men saying that he just happen to see you looking worse for wear so they are going to help until you fall asleep. We all know who really saw you starting to get sick though...
♡  If by some means you say you want Sanchoumou there with you instead when you are sick, he would so flattered and overjoyed but the moment he enters the room, he acts like he is just doing a job assigned to him.
♡  Still very caring! Just more quiet.
♡  It is very known he had grown feelings for you and doesn’t try to hid it from anyone that isn’t you. 
♡  Sanchoumou would never decline your invitation to a hobby of yours (unless there is a mission he has to leave to do). If you need a buddy to play games, listen to music, or watch a movie... He is there. Anything he can do to see you smile.
♡  Being a leader means he is very good at calming others worries. He will make sure that if you start to overthink about something, he is there to calm you down and make you feel more at ease. Even going out of his way to stop the problem himself, if he can. 
♡  Anything you are scared of, he may tease you a little about it but would never put you in harms way. He sees a spider? “aw, that little guy? You scared of him?” That is the most he will say and then get rid of the spider. He wouldn’t bring it towards you. 
♡  It would take Sanchoumou a little time to really understand your cues on when you wish to be treated like a princess and when you wish to be taken seriously. Mostly because he wants to always treat you like a princess since you are his love of his life. The gem to his eye. His everything and he wants to spoil you rotten.
♡  You would have to talk to him about how you also want him to relax with that at times since others may not take you seriously because of it. Once he gets the idea, he will start to figure out your cues and treat you how you wish.
♡  Any idiotic thing you may get yourself into, you won’t just have Sanchoumou there. You would have the whole bird clan suddenly behind you. Anyone who tries to mess with you then is going to be absolutely terrified. 
♡  Sanchoumou doesn’t have a recorded height yet but I always perceived him as 183cm (6ft) or slightly taller. He would gladly let you rid his back and will give you piggy back rides if the princess demands it. Might even just bridal carry you sometimes. Especially if you are playing too many games, suddenly you will be picked up and he is carrying you off to bed with him.
♡  Sanchoumou may seem like someone who is secretive because his outward appearance but if you ask him a question, he would gladly answer. He is very much an open book and you being curious about him would make him very happy.
♡  Especially about his tattoos since he has them all over his arms and even some on his face. He loves his tattoos and you touching them or asking about them would make him smile so much with love in his eyes. 
♡  He may not be all business all the time but he is a leader that you don’t want to mess with. The joyful personality is all fun and games until he decides to get serious. He never wants you to see that side of him because he rather you just see him when he is happy and not an commanding leader. 
♡  The Ichimonji Clan would view you as the queen of the clan, next to Sanchoumou, very quickly. Sanchoumou doesn’t fall for anyone that often even if he is pretty friendly to others. They know you are special the moment he brings you up to them and talks about everything he finds so endearing about you. 
♡  Himetsuru may even try to get close to you to try to get the gossip of if you like the leader before the two of you get together. 
Top Three Picks: Sanchoumou, Oodenta Mitsuyo, Azuki Nagamitsu
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sailsunfurled · 2 years
Text
Loki, BioShock, and 8 Years
Wow, goodness. What a morning I've had. What a rollercoaster of journey I've just gone through to get to- Well, you'll see.
I don't normally make posts (normally bc I don't have anything to say) but this is too good to pass on. Tagging @helshades bc this directly involves you and I don't necessarily know if Tumblr will catch it way further down in the post so tagging you now. Also, you all will have to bear with me and my long rambling post. I was not lying when I said it was a journey of a morning.
To set the stage, this morning... did not start off pleasantly, I'll be honest. Period cramps and the limbo feeling of wanting to be awake but wanting to desperately lie down and curl up was the beginning of this day. But stay up I did. Thankfully.
To cheer myself I weirdly and randomly decided to listen to some of Postmodern Jukebox. (Yes, this important.) And bc of their usual old-timey sound they go for, my brain connected old-timey music to other old-timey music/vibes I'm familiar with.
Enter BioShock. I've personally started working on an old Minecraft project that's for a friend. A BioShock (Infinite/Burial At Sea) puzzle map with a story. So I started listening to more and more. Which led me to switching from PMJ to Robyn Adele Anderson (who used to work with PMJ until after her break up with the founder and then started her own YouTube and retro-fitting music cover career) and hearing her cover of Honeysuckle Rose.
Which, if there's anything that I love, it's a good romance song. To add to my romantic f/o (aka: comfort character ) playlist. Who's my romantic f/o? Who else other than the one and only MCU trickster?
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The only character I have loved and attached myself to so dearly for many, many a year. All since Thor 1. (Okay, timing with this one is a little wonky, so quick explanation here. It's actually when Avengers 1 came out but I watched Captain America and then Thor 1 at home the weekend the Avengers 1 movie came out. And then saw the latter movie soon after. Pls dont revoke my Loki fan-card. I swear, I've been there since basically the beginning.🤣)
Something that's also important to know about me is that currently... I have a problem. An AU-making problem. 😅😅😅
First, Wandavision with Loki and my self-insert. Lately, it's cowboys and the Old West with Loki and my self-insert. (Two different versions, I might add to highlight my clear AU-making addiction.) Today it's a BioShock-esque story. With Loki and, you guessed it, my self-insert character.
And what is a BioShock story without it's breathtaking, awe-inspiring city? And what is Loki without his home of Asgard? To combine the two and make it work, I need to know what architecture the MCU Asgard(s) are based on/inspired by.
A quick google search of "mcu asgard architecure inspired by" brings up two different Helshades posts. Ah, yes! Helshades! I remember them!
When it comes to MCU Asgard world-building stuff, I know only two blogs to go to from years and years ago when I first discovered them. That is, I know they exist. I usually forget the usernames lol. Sorry, Helshades. It's been a long while. (The other blog is exploringmcuasgard fyi. I have their blog pulled up and will comb through it in a minute once I'm done with this post and finished combing Helshades' Asgard architecture tag.)
So, as mentioned already, I start chronologically from the beginning of Helshades' Asgard architecture tag, going through and scanning the paragraphs of each post's texts looking for names of architecture movements.
I've found one btw! Through all the Thor 1 architecture posts is the name Deconstructivism! Successful so far!
But there was more than one Thor movie, if you remember. And more than one version/interpretation of the city of Asgard.
So onto posts about the Asgard seen in the Thor 2 trailer! The first one is fine and good. The second one...
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starts with a note. A dedication to a 400th follower. Oh nice. A 400th follower with the name-
Wait.
No.
ExCUSE YOU???
IM SORRY- WHAT???!!??
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For those who don't know, a very long time ago I used to have the username, Egoimperiiruina. (A username I have somewhat recently reclaimed after someone else took it and now hold as a subblog to do... something with it in the future.😉)
And back then (as I mentioned earlier) I loved Loki and Asgard and the whole "Thor" side of the MCU franchise. (Which... honestly, and, very sadly, cannot be said now. *le deep fucking sigh in utter disappointment and disgust towards current MCU and Taika Waititi/Mike Waldron*
And this shows clearly here in this note where I apparently was on a Helshades post spree for costume designs. (This may have been for a fic I started and never continued (for awhile! I'll eventually get to it!) a long time ago with the temp name Asgardian Dreams, looking over Asgardian costumes references to get an idea for Vanir fashion that could look similar to Asgardian/Loki. Surprisingly, enough, not for a self-insert. Well, kinda. lmao)
But you might be wondering, this is a great find and what not, but you didn't see this before? Nope. Not once. Weird too because I have in the past occasionally looked to see all the posts that mentioned me via my old username and current one.
But the best part? Honestly, what makes it for me now, is that not only does Helshades say that I, and, I quote, "should welcome an architecture-oriented entry [of theirs] with a similar enthusiasm"- Which, yes. Very much the same amount of enthusiasm, still going strong after all these years. Especially after all the ridiculous nonsense given to us old Loki fans from Ragnarok to his quote-unquote namesake show (can't convince me that's even close to the same Loki I've known all this time nope!).
It's that this post is 8 friggin years old *and* they said the above.
You know what, Helshades? You were right.
I'm happy I found you too.
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factual-fantasy · 3 years
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I got 25 asks that took me WAY too long to reply to! :}
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I have two top favorite episodes, the cone snail episode and the beluga whales episode.
When it comes to my favorite part of both episodes..?
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..Not happy parts...
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I have absolutely no idea what you just suggested.
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(Referring to this post)
Thank you! That was the intention. :} I was worried that their faces all looked weird..
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You want to learn more? Man.. maybe I should post that headcannon draft..
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Yeah haha, this blog has taken quite the U-turn hasn’t it? I’m just glad everyone seems okay with it so far. <:} I’m excited for season 5 also! I hope it comes out soon! :D
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THANK YOU, I WILL CHERISH THIS LOVE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME FOREVER
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Yes and no.
Does he think of his crew as children? Absolutely not. They are all fully grown, intelligent and capable adults, and he darn well treats them like it.
But you bet that if one of them is in danger or is frightened, he’s dropping everything he’s doing and rushing to their aid as if they’re his cub that just wondered out onto the highway.
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ME TOO! I always felt like he had this fatherly vibe to him with some professionalism sprinkled on top. Like he’s always looking out for his team because he cares for them and worries about them, but its kind of disguised as him just doing his job as the Captain.
I plan to draw more Protective Barnacles because its my jam, so don’t worry! That side of you will have some more fuel soon XD. And thank you for all the compliments! :}
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Daww thank you, it twaz nothin. I’m just glad that people want to see my art.
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Well, taking everyone into consideration, the tallest is Captain Barnacles, and the shortest is Tomminow. (This little guy 👇)
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The Vegimals aside though? Peso is the shortest. 
(And thank you! I’m glad :})
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Honestly? Awful. I feel like absolute garbage, I just hope this will all finally go away soon.
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Not really no, and no thanks on the cookies, I shouldn’t eat anything until I get super hungry because everything gives me stomachaches.. But a hug would sure be nice right about now.
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I can give you a link to their wiki pages if that’ll help, I’m not really good with my words and you can learn everything you need to know about them there. <:}
Captain Barnacles (The polar bear guy)
Kwazii (The orange pirate cat guy)
Peso (The bby Penguin doktor)
Shellington (Tall Otter boi)
Dashi (Doge girl with skirt)
Professor Inkling (Fancy squik)
Tweak (Green bunny country gal chick)
The Vegimals (Little veggie dudes)
All the Gups (Metal fishes)
The Octopod (Momma metal squik)
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Whos the youngest Octonaut? Well, if we’re not including the Vegimals, I’d say its probably Peso. And the oldest is most likely Professor Inkling.
Does anyone have claustrophobia? Yes! Captain Barnacles canonically does. He got trapped in a deep hole in some icy caves as a cub, since then he’s been afraid of tight and closed in spaces. I have extended on that fact and thought of many different scenarios relating to the aftermath of the Octonauts movie, but you know.. still not confident in all this Octonauts stuff so I haven’t posted my headcannons yet. <:/
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Novelas translated into English means Soap Opera.
You think so? I feel like that’s not Kwazii’s thing, he’d probably like horror movies and action filled movies. But Peso probably would like them not gonna lie, him and Dashi would probably watch them together.
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Well, in my draft post I’ve got two headcannons for her so far.
Tweak likes sleeping in the launch bay for the #1 reason that she can hear the water sloshing around in the bay. Which mimics the sound the water in the swamp used to make when she lived there with her Dad.
Tweak gets bad migraines when she’s sick, so the other Octonauts have to do a lot to accommodate her. Because the beds in the med bay aren’t that soft, she prefers to sleep in her room when she’s sick. But then the usually comforting sounds of the water in the launch bay become pain inducing. So the launch bay is emptied of all its water, the lights are shut off and, unless its an emergency, no one is allowed in the launch bay until she recovers. 
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I looked it up, and its true.
KWAZII WAS A GIRL IN THE BOOKS?? THEN WHY IS HE A BOY IN THE SHOW?? WHY DID THEY CHANGE THAT?? WH??? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like this Kwazii more than I would any other version of him, but still, WHY’D THEY CHANGE THAT?? IM GLAD THEY DID BUT WHY??
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Hmm.. let me think...
Captain Barnacles most likely doesn’t ever have uninterrupted free time, and even when he does, he probably still prefers to be up in HQ where anyone can find him if they need him. But lets say for the sake of it that he has some free time and he takes it. He’d probably either want to play his accordion, or want to read a book.
I feel like there’s a lot of different things Kwazii likes to do in his spare time, but goofing around in the Gup-B is probably his favorite.
Peso probably likes to do puzzles and play his xylophone.
Dashi probably reads books while listening to music. How she does both of these things at the same time I have no idea.
Tweak probably plays video games.
Professor Inkling and Shellington both probably read books in their free time.
I’m not too sure what the Vegimals would do in their free time though..
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Oh yes, indeed it does. 
Before becoming the Captain of the Octonauts, Barnacles had to ask himself,  “Am I really ready to be their leader?” Can he handle managing a team of that size? Can he react to situations fast enough and make the right choices? He thought it through and believed that yes. He was ready.
But he wasn’t. He wasn't prepared for that gut wrenching anxiety when one crew member goes missing. He wasn't prepared for the crippling heat that most everywhere else has compared to his home. He wasn't prepared to become so attached to his crew that the thought of something happening to them keeps him awake for nights in a row. He wasn’t prepared for that overwhelming nausea of missing home and his sister. 
There was a lot he didn’t know. They’d all turn to him when something went wrong and ask if everything's going to be okay. He’d say “don’t worry, its all going to be okay.” but he’s just as unsure as everyone else.
Now don't get me wrong, he’s not this completely hopeless and unexperienced Captain that bit off more than he could chew, no. There’s just somethings he didn’t think about before becoming Captain of the Octonauts.
Now usually he can really keep himself composed almost always. He’s very level headed and very good at thinking his way through things, But sometimes? He just.. needs a break. He usually cant get a break because he’s the Captain and always needs to be alert, so everyone else that sees it usually tries to help.
Some crew members, like the Vegimals and Kwazii, have a habit of following the Captain around when they see that he’s tired to keep an eye on him. Others like Shellington and Dashi tend to give him space and keep things quiet for him. Some crew members, like Peso and Tweak tend to clean up around the place to take some weight off the Captains shoulders, they all help him out in some way.
Professor Inkling will sometimes find an excuse to pull him aside to have some tea with him. They’ll sit and talk for a bit but then he’s back up on his feet and back to work. This poor bear..
..hold on.. was this a drawing suggestion?
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Dashi and Tweak would probably hang out in Dashi’s room and goof around. Not sure what they’d do.. maybe read, talk, play games or.. idk pillow fights? I don’t know what girls do on a girls night.
As for everyone else? I also am not sure, I don’t know what all those characters with all their clashing personalities would do on a boys night. Maybe they would all watch a movie? All attempt bake something obnoxious together? They seem like the kind of characters that would do that.
I’ve never been to a girls night or a guys night, so I don't really have much of a base to go off of.. but both groups would probably get together and do something they’d all enjoy. Guys maybe a funny movie, and the girls just talking and reading books? <:D 
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For real that’d be hilarious. Imagine if their voices were deep and gruff too but they just make them sound high pitched for fun?
Dude that’d be so funny. Like Kwazii’s up to his shenanigans again blabbering on about some sea monster or what have you, and Tunip out of nowhere just goes,
“Kwazii legit stop, we all know that you’re just talking about some ordinary sea creature that pirates interpreted as a sea monster.“
The whole crew gon be like
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If this game existed in their world and they all played it.....
Captain Barnacles would make it through a pacifist run and would be satisfied. He’s some kind of weirdo who doesn’t think of characters as real people and doesn’t obsess over them and cry about them. Overall he thinks the game is pretty neat, but probably not his type of game.
Kwazii would want to test his skills by attempting a genocide, but his heart of gold would get in the way and he wouldn’t be able to complete it. He’d feel terrible for killing goat mom, reset and go hard pacifist next round. Overall he thinks the game is awesome.
Peso would want to talk to every character so they’d all be included in the story. He’d go full pacifist and cry over the story and its characters. Overall 10/10 for him.
Dashi would probably cry over the game a lot and would never attempt a genocide run because the characters are now her family.
Shellington would hate the fighting parts so would delay those bits by walking around and talking to characters over and over again.
Tweak would go through a neutral run because she sometimes accidently kills weaker monsters. Overall she loves the story and its characters, 10/10 would play again.
Professor Inkling would become invested in the story I bet. Complimenting the story arcs for the characters and its creative game play. But I feel like he’d only play it once and probably wouldn’t beat it, but would have fun with it none the less.
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Thank you!!!♡♡♡ Man, I never expected such a positive response to switching to Octonauts, I cant believe everyone is so excited about it! I’m so glad you like my Octonauts art, that really makes me feel better and like what I’m drawing is worth while. ɷ◡ɷ
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Aww I’m glad! And oh yeah, the animals at the end were always scary. Remember the Boo the spookfish?
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Boo was a cute little googly eyed fishy boi who was just so sweet and somft until the creATURE REPORT AND I-
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THAT’S MY QUE TO YEET THE COMPUTER
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Dawww thank you!! I tried. <:}
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amindofstone · 3 years
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Match-up, No. 1
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Anon asked:
"oh hi hello! i just saw the match up posts and i got super excited cause i love your writings and i never had to chance to send an ask like this lol! i'm 19 years old but i'll be 20 this year. i'm pretty tall for a girl (173 cms!) but still i'm on the chubbier side because i eat a lot and im proud of it lol. i have green eyes, and raven black hair, medium length with short bangs, because i dye it regularly, but normally i'm a blonde! also idk if this matters but i'm straight!
i really like cooking, it's a big passion of mine, i also love singing! music is a big part of my life, i cannot go a second without listening to something and i've always been like this. even though i'm not talented about it, i love to listen to it. i'm a big hopeless romantic so i'm a sucker for anything that's romantic, like movies, songs, books etc! i really wish nothing but for real and pure love! i also collect toys and figures cause i didn't had the chance to buy them when i was little.
i really dislike being left alone. i don't have many friends or loved ones, but whenever i have to leave them for something it hurt's me a lot. i don't like too much people around me but i really adore the ones who i care about. other than that, i hate the way i look most of the time. since i was a little girl i was never comfortable with my body and had lots of issues with it but im trying to do my best to love myself!
i know this was too long but i couldnt stop myself so i hope its okay! im so much lookinf forward to this match up thingy! thank u soooo much for the chance! take care ❤️"
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a/n: First of all thank you so much. I'm so so glad to see that you like my work. This is a great motivation for me to keep writing. This really made my day. 💙 And I really hope that you'll be liking what will come next. I really hope that I didn't disappoint you my dear anon. This is my first time doing something like this and going honest I'm really insecure and anxious when it gets to my work. I'm never happy or satisfied by the outcome... But that's not the point. It's about you. So if there is something bothering you please don't hesitate and DM me or anything and tell me. Other than that happy reading! 🙈
Match up rules can be found HERE.
Warning(s): maybe some grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I'm still improving in every aspect. (Please have mercy on that))
!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: Lord know who. IF anyone knows who did it please tell me so I can give credits. Thank you. :) !!!
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• I think that you and Sanji would give a great pair.
• There are a lot of traits of you that resemble that of Sanji in my opinion. And exactly this was the reason why Sanji started to spend more time with you and get to know you more than Nami or Robin.
• Whenever Luffy screams from the top of his lungs "SANJI! FOOD!!" you scream back from wherever you are right now "Gimme a minute and I'll get you something!", before Sanji can react to the food loving man.
• Sanji loves it when you join him cooking because you two seem to be able to work together without having to communicate. But even if Sanji would like to talk to the beauty that was next to him he wouldn't dare saying a word because as much as he loved talking to you he loved listening to you sing while you prepared anything you were on at the moment. Sometimes he would just stop in his tracks and just watch you dance around the kitchen whenever one of your favourite songs starts to play in the radio. He would watch every of your moves and smile like a idiot.
• After some time passing Sanji manned up and asked you out in the most romantic way. Sanji prepared a picnic with some snacks under that one tree with the wing (I hope you know what I mean 😂). Everything was set. You were in the girls cabin reading a novel when you heard a light knock. You didn't look up and just told whoever was there to come in but the person simply knocked another time what made you stand up with a scuff. You were ready to scold anyone that was there for ruining your peaceful reading session but there was no one except of a huge bouquet of red roses. It had a little note in it saying that someone is waiting for you down on deck. With a huge smile on your lips you stepped out of your room just ro realise that the way down to the deck was decorated by flower pedals. The sight in front of you made your heart race. You didn't wanted the feeling that grew with every second in you to stop. But you made it down and was greeted by the blond man you were always fond of. He took your hand in his and lead you to the swing and made you sit down.
• He took both of your hands in his and looked you in the eyes while giving the most sweetest confession ever made. And of course you said yes and wanted to date him
• dating him was the best thing that happened to you. He was sweet and caring. He spend every free second with you. If you were close to him he would always grab your hand and intertwine them. Sometimes he would appear out of nowhere and give you a kiss and compliment a different part of your body just to leave you dumbfounded and confused with a racing heart.
• There was this island the straw hats docked on and to their luck there was a festival planned for the night of the day they came. So Nami and Robin took you shopping and made Sanji go have fun on his own. Unlike these two you wanted something fancy that wasn't a dress but they still brought a few for you to put you in later on. And they managed to get you in a short sleeveless pretty blue-black dress. They did your make-up and theirs and ran out when Franky yelled that the fireworks were about to get blown what was the sign for the beginning of the festival. But you didn't came out because you felt uncomfortable in your current state.
• Sanji sensed that something was wrong and made his way to you only to find you standing in front of the mirror and looking at yourself with a tilted head and slight pout. Sanjis eyes widen at the sight of you. Because of 1. He couldn't believe how good that dress locked on you 2. He was shocked because he knew that you didn't like the way you looked.
• "How dare you!? How dare you not love this beautiful sight?! Baby! Darling! Love! Please don't. You look stunning. Simply gorgeous now please allow me to take you to the festival and brag with the fact that I can call the most beautiful woman mine."
• As you can see Sanji doesn't, can't and won't tolerate you being insecure so he took it upon himself to push your ego and make you love yourself as much as he loves and adores you.
• On the festival Sanji would never let go of you. He would constantly have you close to him so he could protect you no matter what happens. He makes sure to once in a while ask you if you're alright or if you want to go back to the sunny since he knew that you're not a fan of crowed places.
• Sanji left you alone for a few minutes but sat you down on a less crowded and also quieter place to get some drinks. You were happily looking at the ocean when a guy approached you and started a conversation with you. You were clear not liking it but still tried to talk nicely. But the guy seemed to understand your friendliness in a different way and got closer. You told him to keep a distance but he laughed it away and simply acted as if you said nothing. You felt uncomfortable and suffocated so you were about to stand up when Sanji came and kicked him out of the chair with a sweet smile upon his lips saying "Thank you for keeping my seat warm but now move your pathetic stupid ass away and leave me alone with my girl."
• When the guy left he took you in his arms and apologised while sitting you down on his lap while asking you probably a bunch of times of you're doing good or if he hurt you.
Bonus:
• While Sanji confessed his love to you Zoro was in the crows nest watching you two with a disgusted and confused look while silently praying for you to reject him but sadly you didn't. In fact you even kissed him. "TF is that stupid woman doing?!"
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I process things with art. I process with written words in the hopes that one day it can be spoken without my voice shaking. This week has been one for the books.. and I decided to share. This is long, but I want to remember what I’m learning.. how I’m processing.. if you decide to read, thank you. If not, this will still be here as a reminder of my progress every year.
I always tell people that there was no reason for my name, but it’s a lie. I’m named after Samantha on BeWitched. My grandfather loved that show and suggested it when my mother couldn’t decide. I was born in early September and that makes me a Virgo. Astrology is one of my favorite things. There’s something extraordinary about the idea that we’re connected to the universe by the positioning of the stars. Sometimes it’s so vague.. but other times, it’s right on the nose and my horoscopes will make me cry. Speaking of that, I’m an empath and a 2. When I’m unhealthy, I’m a 4 and If you know what any of that means, I’d love to talk to you more about it. Winter is my favorite season. Fall is a close second. I love the snow and how muted everything is. I like the quiet, the beauty. Sometimes, the light from the sun will shimmer off a fresh coat of snow on the ground. It is absolutely blinding, but I’d still stare, and when the snow fell at night, I’d watch it under the street light across from my house and it felt like time stood still. When I was little, I would lay in the yard full of snow, alone, in my puffy suite, until my fingers and toes would go numb from the cold, listening to the silence, but the best part of those days was going back into my grandparents house and warming up with hot coco made on the stove, wrapping myself in a soft blanket and watching old movies with my grandfather. To me, the Winter is magical. My love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I’m an introvert but I love people. I like to observe, I like to really understand how the mind works and Im eager to help. I thrive in controlled chaos. I like puzzles, I love music, I like crafts, I like to fix things because grandpa always taught me that nothing is to broken to fix. Nothing. No one.
This is the light. This is the part of me that I give willingly to anyone I meet. I wear it on my sleeve. It’s only the light. Until the last 2 years.. this was all I could give of myself because I’ve always been scared of the dark.
The darkest part of me lasted 8 years, my rock bottom lasted 4.5, but as a whole it’s taken up almost 12 years of my life. Sometimes I worry that all I'm ever going to be is this thing that happened to me. That this will define me for the rest of my life and I need to remind myself that I’m a person that can live separate from an event.
I went to the police station this week, I filled out more forms. I’ve filled out so many forms over the last 2 years. For an emergency restraining order this time. For Florida this time. I knew it would eventually follow me here but typhus felt too soon. The clerk called me brave. I smile and thank them every time but I never know how to respond to that. She has no idea how weak it feels and I mean.. how could she. This is the right choice, the obvious choice, the smart choice. In a different situation, it’s one of the many steps I’d be urging someone else to take. In all the chaos, all the hurt, in all the anger and sadness.. it always circles back to “I loved him”. I did. I wanted to fix him. I wanted to see him grow and heal and if I loved him hard enough for the both of us, it would’ve evened out eventually… right?
I failed.
He was always who he was, but I was young and naive and ready to fix the whole world. When I was 18 and we were free, I would’ve told you he saved me. Now that I’m in my 30’s… and he’s in prison and I’m in limbo.. I don’t know what I’d tell you. He didn’t save me, but he didn’t destroy me either. I had every opportunity to tap out and give up.. but I grew into a person I might not have been if I never met him.
Am I angry? All of the time.
Am I scared? Yes.
I see things more clearly now though. People talk about how you never know someone’s story, and that’s because we are experts at playing pretend like we have it all figured out until we’re alone and have to face truest selves. The facade is the hardest thing to give up. Some people saw through mine and there are others, who have built their own, that never will. I share posts about what I’ve learned, how I see people, how I’ve try to treat people with grace and teach children with love and patience in hopes that a little of that sinks into whoever it reaches, but I very rarely show the journey. Partly because I know the details are gruesome and that’s not for everyone, but mostly because I’m scared.
How will you see me?
What will you think?
I’m learning that I’m not this big awful thing that happened to me. I was never anyone’s property and I’m not chained to it anymore. I was very much lied to and manipulated and hurt long enough that it flipped onto me and I carried it without missing a step. I wanted to love him so much that I would heal him. Instead, he “loved” me so much it almost killed me, and he did call it love. Enough times that he re-defined it and I didn’t use that word for a very long time in any meaningful situation. He, for better or for worse, drastically changed the trajectory of my life.
But it’s ok.
I’m wounded but I’m healing. I’m lonely, but I’m learning how to slowly welcome more people in and step out of my comfort zone. If I’m being honest, I’m relearning a lot of things, including how to exist in a world where I have room to make mistakes and fail. I can say or do the wrong thing and be gently corrected for it by my people and move on … sans violence. There are no words for amount of relief I feel because of that truth.
Is it over? No.
He was sentenced to 7 years last year and every year around mid July early August there is an opportunity to apply for an appeal based on his behavior, which will always be immaculate because he is not as tough as he thinks he is. This means that if he applies and it goes to trial, I’m also notified and have to reappear, show any new evidence, and reexplain why he needs to stay there for the safety of others and myself. Telling my story once a year on a whim to a room full of strangers, always men, so they can decide my fate, as well as the fate of this “upstanding young man with a good head on his shoulders” (actual words used during my initial rape/domestic abuse trial against him), was never what I imagined finally turning him in would look like. I really never thought that after everything, his sentence wouldn’t even be as long as our relationship. The original sentence was 5 years. After he got out on a Governor Cuomo Covid related prison loophole and broke his parole almost immediately, he was sentenced to another 2 on top of that. He has 6 left. We talk about how flawed our system is, but really seeing it is a different kind of punch. Women aren’t believed. There’s a reason so many of these crimes go unreported, and why so many women die at the hands of angry men. The hoops you have to jump through are miles high and on fire, and when you and the advocate show up armed only with your truth, your tears and a little evidence from one night at a bar when he got to drunk and forgot he was in public, it’s very easy for a judge to rule on the softer side. Because, as you all know, we’d never want to ruin a wealthy mans life unless there’s cold, hard, reason to.
Seeing his face when they read out his sentence, after years of terror, was satisfying to say the least and if I hadn’t been so numb to get through the hearing, I would’ve enjoyed it more. I will never forget going to a trusted friends house after that hearing and being completely overwhelmed with all of the emotions. Relief, guilt, sadness, anger, happiness, fear.. so many I couldn’t express.. all at once because the novocain wears off and numb isn’t forever and I fell asleep with their dog after a lot of crying. I’d be lying though if I said that 18 year old in me didn’t feel a loss. I grew up with incredible grandparents that did amazing things in teaching me how to love people and be a good human, but no one can protect us from everything. I also grew up with a mother who fights demons of her own and never had the capacity to love two kids. In a situation like that, someone becomes the punching bag. I became the punching bag and desperately looked for ways out, an opportunity to run.. and I ran right into him, who accepted me with open arms for the first time in my young, very inexperienced life.. and I followed him blindly and he was my whole world. Until I was 27, I didn’t have a guide. By the grace of God I landed into a community in Florida that slowly helped me realize my worth.
So.. what now.
How do we fix what our parents and past broke?
How do you reparent yourself?
The mental health journey is proving to be my biggest struggle yet. There’s no more outside factors, it’s just me and the lies that have fed me for years and altered how I think and feel and understand the world. I can feel myself frustrating people I’ve let close to me. I feel myself getting nervous and pushing people away. Sometimes I can catch it and regroup, other times that nasty little voice is too loud and I’m exhausted. My goodness though, how cool is it to learn so much about yourself? I know I have the capacity to love that broken part of me eventually, but it’s still hard to face. Getting to learn and understand the reason behind your actions is terrifyingly amazing. I am proud of this journey. Even when I don’t always come up on top. It’s hard to see the progress while you’re in it, but laying it all out like this.. I can safely say I’m never going to be that 18 year old girl ever again. Some days this journey looks different, some days the darkness wins, because healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it’s one step forward, 2 steps back… but nothing is too broken to fix.. and I will never call that darkness home again.
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clonecaptains · 4 years
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A Different Kind of Music - a Llewyn Davis x reader fic
rating: T - future M
a/n: this movie has become a comfort movie for me - and im emotionally attached to him so this was just a chance to write some of my emotions out. it’s self indulgent~ 
A Different Kind of Music
Your mouth drops open in disbelief. Emotion wells up in your heart, your chest feels tight and all the feelings have nowhere to go but in tears down your cheeks. Your hand comes to rest over your heart as if that would somehow heal the ache.
You’re at the Gaslight, and Llewyn Davis’s beautiful melancholy voice is tugging at your heartstrings. You knew his voice was lovely, that’s why you’ve come. To hear him sing, and to see him in person. Nothing could pull your attention from him singing. His mop of curls bounce as he sways slightly. His guitar rests on a thick thigh, and you blush. You’re even entranced by the veins on his neck – showing his passion as he sings.
He’s even more beautiful than the album cover suggests.
Yes, you have his album.
Inside Llewyn Davis.
It was a random find at a record store, there was a whole box of them untouched. You’d just begun to work at this little shop, and when the shipment came in you wondered by no one was buying it. You took one home and gave it a listen, and you’ve hardly listened to anything since.
So, when you heard he was going to sing at the Gaslight, you jumped at the chance.
Once his set was over, you anxiously got up from your seat to follow him. He walked up to the bar to speak to someone, then he went outside. You’re sure you looked like a little lost puppy following him up to the bar, only to be met with a greasy mustached man.
His eyes raking over you makes your skin crawl.
“When will he be back?” you ask, planting your feet a little. You won’t let this creep ruin seeing Llewyn.
“He went to see a friend out back,” he snickers. You don’t like his tone, and you don’t know what he means by ‘friend.’ “You can go on out there if you’re so eager.”
You brush past him in the direction of ‘out back.’
It’s a dimly lit alley, and you get the feeling you should be back here. You cling to the record in your hand, you almost forgot you had it with you.
A soft pained groan tells you that you aren’t alone in this alley. You look down at your feet to see that mop of curls, Llewyn is on the ground in a heap. You gasp.
“Mr. Davis? Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” an obvious lie. He grunts and brushes off his pants as he stands. “Mr. Davis is my father,” he snorts out through his nose, he’s brushing off his jacket now. His fingers poke through holes in fingerless gloves.
“I just wanted to say, I love your music,” you blurt out.
“Thank you,” he seems to cast it aside. Then he looks up at you finally, and you can see his face in the dark alley. “Hi,” his voice is suddenly gentle and less cold; dark brows were knitted together but they relax when he sees your face.
You can see him looking you over, but it’s not like the man at the bar. You’re clinging tight to that record, his record. His expression softens even further when he sees how tight you’re holding the album. He seems shocked in fact.
He takes a step further into the light and you see his lip is split and there’s a bruise on his cheek.
“Are you alright?” you ask him again, knowing he isn’t.
His dark soulful eyes look down at his feet then back up to your face.
“Would you like to get some coffee?” he asks, his feet shuffle under him.
“I know the perfect place!” you nod and tug on his shirt sleeve.
“Llewyn,” he offers after you tell him your name, “but it seems you already know that.”
“I love this album,” suddenly you’re embarrassed now. It’s late and you’re sitting across from him in a little coffee shop. You just had hoped he’d sign it; you didn’t think this would be how your night would turn out.
“You’re the only one I think,” he seems sad taking a long drink of coffee. He sighs at the warmth.
“The Death of Queen Jane made me cry,” you laugh shaking your head. You munch on a little cookie, hoping he can’t see the tears well up in your eyes. His eyes haven’t left your face once.
“I’m glad you liked the record,” he nods, his eyes flicking away when you catch his gaze.
“Do you want to come back to my place?” you blurt out. You’re not sure why. Your question seems to catch him off guard, his eyes widen a little and he almost smiles. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that how it sounded. I own a record store, and I thought maybe you’d like to come look around?”
“Sure,” he shrugs. You feel like a fool, why would a musician want to go to a record store? Or would they? What if it discourages him?
“You don’t-“ now you’re just nervous.
He laughs, his eyes crinkle in the corners and it’s the first time you’ve really seen him smile this big. “Let’s go,” he takes another sip of coffee. “Lead the way.”
There’s a chill in the air as the two of you walk towards your apartment. You explain to him that you’ve just moved to New York after your father died. He left you the record store and the apartment attached. No one else wanted it, but you couldn’t let the music die with your father.
“I have to get my key out of my place,” you tell him, and he quietly follows behind.
“Do you want me to sign that for ya?” he motions towards the record when you set it down on the kitchen table. There’s a teasing tone to his voice, but he’s sweet.
“Yes, actually,” you laugh. “Where are those keys?” you mumble to yourself while you look for them. Llewyn wanders around your apartment looking at all your things, and for a pen. “Got it!” you exclaim. He looks up from your living room to see you still in the kitchen. “We should do something about that bruise,” you tell him and open your freezer.
“You don’t have to-“ he tries to stop you. But he doesn’t argue when you gently press ice wrapped in a rag to his cheek. “Did someone pay you?” his eyes were closed but they open to look your way. You’re still holding the ice to his cheek.
“Pay me?”
“This is just the shit I need.”
“What?” you take a step back, letting him hold the ice to his face.
“Oh fuck, I’m sorry,” he buries his face in his palm, wincing in pain when he touches his lip – and in guilt for upsetting you.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m gonna get out of your hair,” he starts to walk past you, but you grab his arm to stop him. He seems surprised at your action, and the firmness of your hand tells him you mean it. With a sigh, he sits down on your couch and tells you his story. He doesn’t know why he’s telling you everything, and you don’t know why he decided to trust you with this information.
“So, what you’re saying is, you need somewhere to sleep tonight,” you smile at him.
“This is a nice couch,” he bounces on it a little, testing the weight.
“It doesn’t have to be the couch if you don’t want it,” you bite your lip. “You can sleep on my bed, I mean alone! Unless you want me to join-“
“The couch is fine,” Llewyn smiles again at how visibly flustered you become. Then he sees the slight disappointment in your eyes when he says no. “Someone told me it would be a favor to women everywhere if I never fucked again…” his voice trails off.
Shifting your weight, a little, you come to sit by him on the couch.
“I never do this, I mean I’ve never brought a guy home,” you look at your knee bouncing, then up to his face. He’s watching your every move. His soulful eyes under that big mop of curls are breaking your heart. “I don’t expect anything, I just meant the bed is more comfortable. I will sleep on the couch.”
“I can’t sleep in the bed, it’s yours. I’ll feel bad. Unless, you did join me,” he grins softly. He shifts in his seat, turning to face you. He reaches for you and cups your cheek in his hand. He holds your gaze for a moment, testing. Waiting to make sure you’re not going to pull away when he leans forward to capture your lips.
The gentle kiss breaks and you hop up from the couch. Now full of nervous energy. Awkwardly you both get ready for bed, unsure of the next move. Llewyn is quiet, he can sense you’re skittish. He simply undresses, leaving him only in boxer shorts and a white t-shirt.
Laying on the bed waiting for you to change, he sinks into the mattress with a sigh. He can’t even remember the last time he slept on a bed, especially one this nice.
Jittery and excited, you’ve changed from your clothes into your pajamas in the bathroom. You step into your room to find Llewyn fast asleep on your bed. A smile curves on your lips and your heart aches. From what he’s told you – you know this sweet soul hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in a long time.
So, you turn off the lights and slide under the covers with him. You curl into him like he’s a long-time lover. You smile to yourself, because in a way – he is. His music has been speaking to you for awhile now. This time you have the man the music comes from. Maybe tomorrow you will hear him sing, but right now in this moment hearing him snore softly beside you is music to your ears.
//
idk who to even tag?? 
@pascalispedro, @damndamer0n, @darksideofclarke, @tintinwrites
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disaster-bay-leaf · 3 years
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Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)
4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99
I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡
uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨
4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?
hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between
and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)
6 - do you keep plants?
honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )
7 - do you name your plants?
yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj
9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?
oh god oh dude you have n o idea
i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time
12 - whats your favourite planet?
oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)
19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?
okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it
22 - are you a morning person?
n o
i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful
but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am
23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?
except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest
28 - sunrise or sunset?
i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock
but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose
33 - whats your fave pastry?
and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj
either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding
34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?
awwww this is cute
okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes
46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of
what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*
47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?
huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)
52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?
the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj
but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too
as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about
59 - whats your favourite myth?
i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks
but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example
60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?
o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius
some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it
63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?
okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again
66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?
either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition
or something purple (maybe not belladonna)
83 - whats some of your favourite album art?
god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that
“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too
also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say
and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)
87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?
this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):
- the princess bride
- inception
- night at the museum
- SPIRITED AWAY
- forrest gump
- truman show
- E.T. (i cried okay)
- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)
- parasite
and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good
93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?
honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short
also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form
99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them
this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:
- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)
- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)
- tears and rain by james blunt
- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie
- almost home by mxmtoon
- anything by hozier really but shrike especially
- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)
- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)
- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers
- autoclave by the mountain goats
oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)
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