#im worried about me

[etchif]

#genuinely curious how people feel about this #I do it and I neither care if Im being annoying nor do I think I am #the ppl who followed me for my art are not going to get annoyed at me for showing them my art #though sometimes i get worried for like 1 millisecond if i come across as pushy then i remember this is the art website abd i stop caring #polls #art #can I tag this as that even if there's no actual art in the post #well. it IS about art

[mangosmoothiepussyv3]

im so stressed out that everything is making me wanna start sobbing

#personal #my sibling told me not to do something and i had to fight back tears #im so stressed yall #im worried about me #i hope i dont do anything rash

[mokeonn]

"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.

But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.

#simon says #i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system #once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable #this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it #because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole #but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole #don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it #also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn #like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that #also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke #my only learning resource is the library sorry about that #also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice #finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say

[gayvampyr]

this might be a hot take but i actually don’t think humans were meant to know what is going on in everyone’s lives all over the world every second of the day and constantly be available for conversations or collaborations or call-ins for work and texts and phone calls and social media posts without end. i think we were supposed to just help the people around us and spend time with our family and friends and eat yummy bread and berries and relax

#‘did you know x celebrity did this thing and now they’re getting cancelled?’ no. why does that concern me #idgaf about celebrities #and like. mental exhaustion and guilt are not good or sustainable substitutions for real help and activism #sometimes it’s ok to just. unplug and worry about your own life #im not saying you should stop caring but you also shouldn’t guilt yourself to death over something you have zero control over #text post #top posts #5k #20k #30k #40k #50k #60k #70k

[thankstothe]

this show rewires you fundamentally in 60 seconds and then just goes on to have more seasons. audacity

#house md #gregory house #james wilson #hilson #screencap #s03e02 “cane and able” #imagine bringing the receipts to the ceo of bodylanguage #“does sound like you though” #“worried your wings would melt” #“god doesnt limp” #are you kidding me? this is rapid fire and im already dead #havent stopped thinking about this #I do like that Wilson is wrong about House's ego here #he tries but he doesn't really get house #idk being worried and so wrong then doing stupid shit with all that is just very human #house isnt even mad and goes along with it #long post #longpost

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering. #it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now... #... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy. #(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

[mr-malumm]

Hey tumblr what do we think of this?

#outing myself as a 2012 onceler fan #im as sad about it as you are dont worry #at least i got to use my old onceler color palette #also this exists because me and a friend on the insane mv have a radiostatic roommate au and its literally all i can think about #hazbin art #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #vox #hazbin vox #alastor #hazbin alastor #i fell for the fucking tv #radiostatic #my art #the onceler #onceler

[canidaezy]

how do transmascs not want to kill themselves all the time honestly

#i experience transphobia and hardship in my daily life #and then i go home and go on my computer and learn that i dont experience any of that actually #im just pretending. and i shouldnt talk about it because im just a fake trans #who wishes his experiences could even measure up to a crumb of what real trans people (women) have to go through #ok cool. #testosterone is a controlled substance did you know that. my state is actively making it harder for people my age to access hrt #but i guess since im transmasc i dont actually have to worry about any of that! im fine! #i didnt have a 3 month time limit before it would be illegal for me to access hrt! im transmasc im too privileged to worry about that! #transphobia #transandrophobia

[cemeterything]

between the hickey punished as a boy scene which feels like it could devolve into sadomasochistic gay porn at any moment, yelling at everyone to get on their knees so forcibly that they instantly obey even though they were on the verge of a riot breaking out only seconds ago, and the fitzjames erotic euthanasia scene crozier really does have an incredible track record for helping other men discover their kinks at the worst possible moment

#🐉 #the terror #im about to be stuck with my family for a week with only my phone for company so if we see me terrorposting more #than usual... do not worry abt it. just let it happen.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

they continue to be Thee besties ever. number one duo spot in my mind!

#well. maybe number two #well. im very bad at ranking it fluctuates daily #Theyre One Of The Most Duos In My Mind! #anyway wally riding barnaby like a horse is absolutely Hysterical to me #giddyup pardner.... #what's the reason? whimsy? to make people tilt their heads? to show wally what it's like to be tall? #so that barnaby doesnt have to walk slower? simply because they Can? #< these are the important lore questions #scribble salad #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #sometimes i think about them and then i punch my hand through a window #very casually. yes theres blood everywhere dont worry about it #its nbd. im Normal. not unwell at all! #why is there glitter in the blood? Dont Worry About It. #im simply full of microplastics

[gingersp1ce547]

Q!pac’s goal of becoming his best self, a stronger version of himself being displayed by this new archer skin makes me feel crazy because look

Look that the similarities between these two skins. The crossbody strap that covers up the logo’s of their shirts. Fingerless gloves on their right hands and a more bulky almost gauntlet like glove on q!pac’s that emulates q!fits prosthetic arm. The jeans.

Q!pac’s idea of his best version of himself is one so innately and intimately tied to q!fit as if to say that he cant fully be that version of himself without q!fit.

#q!fit was worried about q!pac forgetting him while he’s goen only for q!pac to physically show thats impossible #could these similarities be a coincidence? 100% but im going to pretend their not #i almost wanna say this marks a shift as well of q!pac’s image of strength going from q!cell to q!fit but i think its reaching #a bit too much for me to say it with ny full chest #qsmp #q!pactw #fitpac #gingersp1ce547 #qsmp analysis #q!pactw analysis

[turtleblogatlast]

One of the earliest examples of Leo’s “I’ll do my own thing to accomplish our goal without discussing it with my team first” is in episode one. It’s super, super quick, and ultimately inconsequential, but it subtly sets up a great precedent that I think is very interesting.

When the boys need to grab the medallion from Splinter without Splinter noticing, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie huddle together with Raph taking the lead in trying to devise a plan to get the mystic device. Meanwhile, Leo slinks away and grabs the device by clocking the situation (by knowing his father well enough to predict his actions - something he does with each family member multiple times in the series) and making a move on his own.

It works out perfectly fine, and is ultimately the best move, and it’s honestly okay that he didn’t consult everyone for something so small when it’s such a non issue to get it, but it nicely sets up how this tends to go in the series, including how it goes in the movie.

To be honest episode one is actually really good at setting up a lot of things for each character in the long run, this is just one example that caught my attention, as small and unassuming as it is.

#rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #im just ranting at this point feel free to ignore me I’m tired lol #anyway #Leo constantly just goes off and does his own thing #and yeah honestly his own thing often works??? but he alienates his brothers/team in the process #BUT also this isn’t necessarily a one way street #when Leo DOES try to consult his brothers or give his thoughts on matters he’s not really taken seriously #best example here is bug busters where he CONSTANTLY makes his worries and suspicions known only to have them ignored #so it’s almost understandable that he doesn’t often open up about his thought process when it’s easier to just do it #than to try and fail to justify it #after all it almost always works out for him when he does so why not? #and then the movie happens #and that line of thinking doesn’t quite hold up does it? #BUT ON ANOTHER NOTE #like I said episode one is super good at setting characters up #from showing off Donnie’s preference for tech vs magic/mystic #from showing Mikey’s innate talent for mysticism #from showing Raph’s anxieties and how easily they can stack up #there’s more but I’d have to do a closer deep dive on the ep and man am I tired #so off the head rambles it is for now #sorry everyone for my constant spam of Too Many Words into things that are prob Not That Deep #it’s honestly just fun haha #EDIT: bc I saw someone mention it! yeah all the boys have communication issues through the series and it’s super interesting and realistic #Leo in particular stands out to me here because his communication issues are a constant theme that pop up much more often #but each of them experiences this in some form

[lesbaurinkos]

i put altogether too much time and effort into trying to make these fucking scalies look cool. god bless

#ive put far too much seriousness into such an unserious thing… and yet here we are! #idk. im having fun. no one worry about it. #in my head im coming up with like 80 cool abilities for phil and for dan im just like girl idk he breathes fire what can i say #hot to the touch but he can’t burn phil cause of. like. cactus heat resistance ok walk with me #i have visions……… i have a problem also. amen #dnp #dan and phil #phanart #wheeeeee lalala frolicking

[heynhay]

you're my number one, you're the one i want

#klance #voltron #vld #it is some kind of insane miracle it took me this long to make this about mitski #i always be putting lance in situations... #HE IS FINE. HES FINE. THIS IS A HAPPY 'YOURE ALIVE' REUNION #anyway im signing things now. is it intrusive? #this is weird but the reason i never sign my stuff is cause im like...it ruins the immersion of the piece... #im not even drawing shit thats that good tho so idk what im worried about LOLLL #anyway extremely rare warm palette moment from me #art #my art #mitski

[kiyterra]

more from this civilian bruce au where bruce decided to become skilled at healing and is a volunteer doctor at every hospital ever but has a particular inexplicable worry for his city's group of teenaged vigilante protectors <3

#like he's just 'please i worry about you guys :(' cause these crime fighters are obviously so young and hes seeing their injuries up close #but his kids are all just like 'damN IT DAD HOW are you guilt tripping us in AND out of uniform????' #he just. cares for them sm #any way please feel ffree to talk to me abt this au #im living #terra art #bruce wayne #batfam #civilian bruce au #dc

[incense-and-iron]

Having to do this on mobile because I HATE the new layout for desktop. Anyway I've been told I'm WRONG about the version of this pokemon I like >:( I won't say which one is better, but we all know which one is REALLY better.

#pokemon #giratina #i... think is the name of the pokemon #im not well versed in them and forget them very often lmao #but my friends and gf are trying to get me more into it all #you lookin for which one i like in the tags? im not saying >:) you get to wait #pkmn #idk what if the like 90 games its from sorry #also please dont worry!! my friends are only joking about me bring wrong. itd all light hearted