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#imagine stony
mischievous-thunder · 5 months
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to-proudly-go · 11 months
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How about Person A offers their hand in hopes that Person B will hold it but B gives them the grocery bags instead
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bookishtheaterlover7 · 2 months
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Captain Handsome
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a/n: A blurb inspired by this post that my friend sent to me 😁 I don't read a lot of the comics... But I'm so sorry I missed out on this GOLDEN moment 😆
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...the post in question...
Enjoy!
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Tony made the whole system. This genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist not only built a working suit of armor in a cave, he also the AI and security system the entire team relies on, for anything and everything.
And having made the system, means that he has full control over said systems. Meaning... Codenames and security passwords are his to make as completely impenetrable and ridiculous as he wants.
"TONY!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING..." Steve groaned, frustrated that he couldn't set the security measures of the tower, no matter how many times he tried.
"I'd rather die, or go back into the ice for another 70 years, than say, that..."
"Exactly why it's effective! No bad guy could ever make you say it. So, it's full proof." Tony grinned, spinning around in his chair, utterly amused.
After some careful consideration...
"Fine... This is Captain Handsome ordering you to Rock and Roll on that 45." Steve said through gritted teeth, resting his head against his arms, leaning against the wall in defeat.
FRIDAY's confirmation was a small comfort to Steve's situation. Made even worse by the sound of a certain Avengers Trainee, trying and failing to contain her laughter. It growing louder until they were full blown fits, that made her stomach hurt more than sparring with Nat, and spill the coffee she had prepared for after the Briefing, all over the floor in front of her.
"Worth it!" Tony yelled as the doors closed and Y/N collapsed on the nearby sofa, unable to control her laughter.
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Steve Rogers Masterlist
Chris Evans Characters Masterlist
Main Masterlist
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lukas-dusk · 4 months
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Tony texting Pepper
Tony : I WANT TO GIVE HIM THINGS
Tony : LIKE BLOWJOBS AND SELF ESTEEM!
Pepper : Please stop talking.
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lesbian-deadpool · 1 year
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Y/N: *Picks up the phone, wanting to make a call*
Tony, on the phone: I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Pepper picks up Morgan. I'll just tell Y/N I'm going to be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Steve, on the line: Laundry, huh? Is that my new nickname?
Tony: Aww, you know what your nickname is, Mr Big-
Y/N: AHH!
Y/N: *Slams the phone down onto the receiver*
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airlocksandaviaries · 2 months
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S. Steve developing a Pavlovian response to feeling the hum of an arc reactor pressed against him
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meidui · 2 months
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steve and tony both get de-aged and when the team loses track of them for a few hours, they're like "ah shit do you think they're at each other's throats again but with even less emotional regulation this time" but then they find them together doing pretty much the same thing that they do now- tony is on the floor playing with legos and steve is just a few feet away, colouring a colouring book
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Imagine your OTP
A: Let's play Titanic!
B: [snorts] so I'd be the iceberg and you'd go down?
A: No [pulls out flipcharts and projector] we're discussing famous theory icebergs in detail.
B: Oh I'm SO going down on you later.
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Y/N x Theo Raeken
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wolvesandfoxes25 · 4 months
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Can yall imagine if our favorite fanfictions were automatic movies? I would waste my life away..I swear.
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mischievous-thunder · 3 months
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Person A: I'm so sorry... I was just trying to flirt with you.
Person B: You roasted me. For half an hour straight.
Person A: As I said, I was just trying to flirt.
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mvrcvariant · 10 months
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Steve, hearing a thud: what was that, Tony?
Tony: nothing, just my clothing falling to the ground.
Steve: it sounded a bit heavy to just be clothes.
Tony: yeah, I uh was in them… when they fell.
Steve: so you fell over.
Tony: i fell over.
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romanoffsbish · 11 months
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Mom, Dad, I’m…
Wanda Maximoff x R
Blackhill ; Bishova ; Stony ; BuckySam
Happy Pride Angels, 🌈❤️
Warnings: Attempts at Humor. Heteros.
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"Detka, can you go get some tomatoes from the garden? Steve already ate all of the freaking salsa," Wanda grumbled dramatically, falling into your arms as you were mid conversation with Natasha and Maria about their work.
"He probably intended to bottom tonight," Natasha remarks with a shit stirring grin, you cackled in solidarity, but the both of you stopped when your wives stood shoulder to shoulder with a menacing tilt to their heads.
——
"Welp, those tomatoes aren't gonna pick themselves," you noted before running off, you avoided looking back, afraid to see Natasha's stony glare as you abandoned her with them.
Every man for themselves a mantra you live by, well, only when it comes to angry spouses. As an Avenger you were as selfless as the rest, but now you got to be more selfish in retirement.
Natasha, unfortunately, was your victim.
When you entered the massive greenhouse you took a second to admire your wives handiwork. The brunette had a knack for gardening, a green thumb if you will. The greenhouse was her go to place to find her zen after a day of dealing with you, Billy, Tommy, and Ella.
The witch loved you all, her beautiful family, but some days the lot of you made her feel a tad bit homicidal. On those days she gardened.
It wasn't hard to find the tomatoes, they were ripe and ready on a set of entangled vines. But before you could bring it to her, you were too enamored by the conversation your kids were having in their little cove behind the garden.
"I can't do it," Tommy groaned. "Yeah they just won't understand," Morgan Stark agreed with him, and you leaned in to hopefully garner more context for their troubled minds.
"At least Uncle Tony is bi," Raina Belova countered, "He'll be more understanding."
"Have you met our dad?" Anthony, the only Jr present, said in an incredulous manner. "He even claims Fido is gay, he's totally unhinged."
You had to put a hand over your mouth, the amusement you were experiencing was unreal.
"Couldn't be us," Elena teased, "I'm gay as hell, and Bryce here is both queer and nonbinary."
Oh goodness... Never in your days did you expect your kids to keep secrets from you, but for it to be such a silly one it honestly made you want to interrupt the conversation at hand.
To remind them that no matter what, you'd all continue to love them, but it was too funny.
"Mama is going to be mad," Celeste Belova added, "She always said being gay is the way."
"I thought she was ace?" Billy inquired. "She is, but that doesn't make her any less gay."
After the conversation moved on to who they were crushing on you snuck back to the party. The overall consensus being that every last one of your collective brood, besides your youngest, Ella, who was only five, and Natasha and Maria's powerful duo, said they're straight.
"Where have you been?" You ignored your wife, handing her the basket of ingredients while calling all of your friends to the dining room. Tony whined, "What is so important?"
"You guys will not believe what I just heard..."
Wanda rolled her eyes as you spun your tale, she chopped up the tomatoes, jalapeños and onions as you enamored the group of friends.
"Thank God we're safe," Maria teased, turning to her wife with a genuinely relieved smile. "Right? Can you imagine having to attend two straight weddings? And pretend to like it?"
"Oh jeez," you gasped, "I didn't think of that."
Wanda tossed the ingredients into a bowl as the lot of you bantered back and forth, her patience already running thin with you all.
"Y/N, this joke isn't funny." Yelena shook her head in defiance when you reminded her that this wasn't a joke. "You don't know what you are talking about. Must be hearing loss..."
Kate put a hand on her wife's shoulder, "It's true Lena, they've both told me already."
"You traitor!" Yelena ripped her arm away as if the raven haired woman had burned her skin.
You now worried that you'd inspired divorces.
"No," Tony gasped, shaking his head in fear as the unexpected reality set in. "You're lying, you have to be. No son of mine is straight!"
"Honey," Steve called out for him, "It'll be okay, we always knew it would be a possibility."
"It most certainly is not okay," he grimaced, then in a flash he was outside, calling for your children to gather around the hibachi station.
"Where's the fire pops?" Morgan jests, but quickly zips her lips as she sees her dad looking as if he was on the verge of a breakdown.
"Tell me Y/N's lying," he pleads, "That you're not straight, my fragile ticker can't take this."
"Tony!" Steve shrieked, "Don't use an old ailment to guilt the kids into being gay..."
"Stay out of this babe!" He growled, "As far as I am concerned they're gay. Y/N's a liar."
"Am not!" You gasped, "They're all heteros."
"Not us!" Bryce interjected. "We're queer."
"That's our precious babies," Natasha coo'd, arms opened wide for her kids to run into, and the both of their teens instantly ran at her.
Bucky and Sam had entered your backyard just as the revelation took place. You all watched as they took three steps back, baby carrier in hand as they looked to your kids as if they were all diseased. "We're just being cautious."
You snorted softly, "We understand fellas."
Wanda glared at you, but you remained unfazed for now. Too busy finding the dramatics entertaining to see the horror. Wanda saw it though, she looked out to see all of the kids wearing terrified expressions. She was about to console them, but then a fight broke out beside you, and you had to laugh.
"This is all your fault Kate Belova!" Yelena shrieked, "It was all of that organic mac and cheese you fed them when I was on missions!"
"Mac and cheese being healthy doesn't make a child straight," Kate shrieked back, hands running down her face as she realized her plans for a peaceful barbecue ended with this.
"If it had been orange they might have been more connected to the rainbow Kate!" Yelena went on, "It's like our gay power source."
"Well, with Wanda's garden the kids eat the entire rainbow and look at them, straight."
Yelena found your assistance unwelcome, "Keep out of this Y/N Maximoff. Your kids aren't all old enough to say yet, you still have a chance! Mine are all done... Stupid preteens"
"Well, that's not exactly true," you reasoned, "None of you have been to college yet, that's when you'll really know if you're gay or not."
Natasha, Yelena and Tony all nodded, they found your reasoning the most logical. It was a lot easier than accepting they're all straight.
"Okay, that's enough!" Wanda interjected, her tone terrifying, "Look at what you're doing to them. They can't help it if they're straight."
"I wanna be gay like mama," Ella murmured, clearly she just wanted to fit in with the crowd, and therefore you praised her, "Smart girl."
Wanda entered your mind with a warning, she smirked as you lifted Ella onto your hip, then you fell into unexpected silence by her side.
"Haha, you're like so whipped, "Yelena cackled.
Wanda glared at her. "You don't scare me wiggly woo, my kids being straight is enough."
"Yelena," Kate sighed, "Knock it off, and try telling the girls that you love them."
"Of course I love them," she rushed out angrily, "That's not even a question, they're moy deti."
(My babies)
Celeste and Raina ran into the blondes side, their tears of relief soaked into her shirt, and made her see they were genuinely scared this would lose them her love. "Shh, mama loves you always, even if you make dumb choices."
Tony and Steve were in a standoff of sorts, the billionaire sipped on his margarita slowly as they appeared to be having a conversation with only their eyes. Tony rolled his, but after a moment of incoherent grumbling he nodded. Morgan and Tony Jr. approached their dads after being called forward, Steve embraced them first, and wholly. Tony gave them both side hugs, and whispered that he just needed time to cope, but he loved them regardless.
Then you heard him brush by with his son, begging him to take it back, only to find out his son was in a long term relationship with a girl. That study buddy of his was so much more...
Like father, like son you suppose.
You looked out to see your boys stood side by side, Billy gripped Tommy's hand for dear life. Wanda was about to call them over, but you beat her to it as guilt overwhelmed your heart. The boys scurried over, and Wanda sent you an adoring smile as you kissed the both of their heads, and hugged them tight. "I love you," falling from all of your lips in succession.
After everyone had time to process the news, the vibe returned to one of relaxation. Wanda set up the grill for Sam, and the master chef himself began to put on a show for everyone.
Once the plates were served you all moved to the fire pit, where you talked about all you'd missed in each other's life while the younger kids sat in front of the projector playing Up.
Then, as the sun officially fell, everyone began to clear out. Saying their goodbyes at the front door, where you hugged each kid, an apology of sorts on your lip for the drama you stirred. Each one forgave you, some even thanked you for finally getting the conversation over with.
When everyone was officially gone you moved back outside to clean up. Tommy helped you, while Billy helped clean the kitchen so that Wanda could focus on Ella's bath, and bedtime.
It was an entire hours worth of work, you were beyond exhausted as you fell into the mattress. You nearly passed out without your wife, but soon enough Wanda slipped into the bed. She wore a thoughtful expression, weighing out whether to disturb you or not, but she soon reasoned you'd appreciate her words, "Detka..."
"Yes baby?" You rolled onto your side, using your elbow to prop yourself up so you could look down at her. She looked to you with a warm smile, then she was yawning, "Don't worry." She paused to pull you into her arms before whispering in your ear: "Billy was not being honest. We do indeed have a gay son."
You laughed so hard tears streamed down your face and pooled in the crook of your equally as amused wife's neck. That was the last thing you expected to hear from her, if anything you had anticipated a continuation of her scolding.
"I'll scold you more tomorrow," she teased, "But for now, we should get some sleep."
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secondlastpsycho · 1 year
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the only way ao3 could get any better is if it had the line by line commenting option like wattpad
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skylarinfinity · 6 months
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male reader : [telling random bartender about his love life] i fall in love with mustache guy, the guy he attached to isn't my favourite... but i willing to take one for the team!
steve : [sighed] male reader, you know me and tony can hear you right?
tony : [laughing] to be honest, i am myself not interesting at the guys i attached to...
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tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy
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lesbian-deadpool · 1 year
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Steve: I have an announcement to make. Tony and I are officially dating.
Natasha: Steve, I think you're the last person to figure that out.
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