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#imagine trying so hard to show ur son you love him but he doesn’t accept it because you hurt him in ways you don’t even remember
jjkyaoi · 3 years
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thoughts; the way wilbur was trying so hard to make up for what he’d done in the past even though he couldn’t remember it. the way he was trying so hard to be a good dad only to find out he missed his chance / fundy was getting adopted by eret
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ghostdrew22 · 3 years
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angst fic where ravenclaw!reader has thalassophobia and is playing with the water by the shore in the dark lake with the necklace draco gave her before they broke up a few years back when the new girl he’s been going out with throws the necklace into the middle of the lake in spite, and the reader cannot afford to lose it djeiwis sorry if it’s messy u dont have to do it ure uncomfyyy
Prompts:
If you die, I’m going to kill you.
Jump In || Draco Malfoy
Requested: Yes Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!reader Warnings: ANGST, a bit of swearing, panic attacks and thalassophobia mentioned. Summary: Years after breaking up with Draco you find that the last gift he gave you is still the only thing comforting you, and his new girlfriend doesn’t like that.
WORDS : 3546
Gleaming, twinkling Eyes like sinking ships on waters So inviting, I almost jump in
The crescent moon outside begs for your company and you oblige, preferring to be alone than stuck in a room full of people who pity you. You lift the bottom half of your dress from the ground and sneak out of the ballroom nonchalantly, anxiety dissipating as the soft breeze comes in contact with your face.
The sound of your heels clacking against the cobblestone fills the air as you walk toward the boardwalk hanging above the lake, and it reminds you of a time when Draco would bring you down here. The lake behind the Malfoy Manor has always been subject to your fear, and you rarely ever go toward it, but tonight you’ll do almost anything to feel alone and normal for once.
The tiny ripples forming on the surface send shivers running down your spine and you look up at the sky immediately in an attempt to subdue your anxiety. A few meters away lies the ballroom, full of dignitaries and old family friends of the Malfoy’s who attend their annually ball every time without fail, and you can hear the faint sound of laughter mixed with a beautiful crescendo. You shut your eyes, take a deep breath and drag your fingers up to your neck to toy with necklace lying around it, as you try to imagine that you’re anywhere else.
You’d thought that it would be easier, coming to the ball and seeing him with his new girlfriend, but it had proved to be a bigger challenge than you’d anticipated, and residual feelings that you’d been trying to stuff down for months had resurfaced like anchors being pulled up from the bottom of the sea. It reminded you of what he said that day, “I’m yours forever, even if you’re not mine.”, and the only thing that stopped you from running back into his arms was the chain hanging around your neck.
A silver chain with a midnight blue sapphire dangling on its end, worth one of your arms and a gift from the blond himself. He had given it to you as a promise, one to love you till the sun stopped rising, and at the time you had thought that it was the perfect gesture. But reality hit and you soon realized that a life with Draco Malfoy would be one filled with envy and uneasiness, and you knew then that you both deserved more.
The necklace’s monetary value reminds you that Draco belongs to a long and esteemed family line which demands attention that you cannot cope with. But the fact that it had been his proclamation of love reminds you that in order for you both to lead happy lives, you must be apart. The way it gleams beneath Chandeliers is so captivating that it always brings you back to earth; a life with Draco is inviting, but some invitations mustn’t be accepted.
But I don't like a gold rush, gold rush I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch Everybody wants you Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you
All eyes instantly fell on him the second that he appeared; sporting that notorious smile which always brought people to their knees, and a priceless suit that hugged his figure so well it made all the straight men positively envious. A true Malfoy; charming, rich, attractive, easily the whole package. You didn’t get a chance to speak with him because he was instantly preoccupied with the ramblings of his mother as she dragged him around the room with pride, showing off the son that she’d done such a good job at raising.
Draco’s life had always been politics and he’d been raised to invariably stand tall, look presentable, get good grades, converse well. You watched him in awe every time, admiring the grace and ease with which he conducted himself. But it made you wonder when he’d been taught the art of letting the spotlight go, to focus all of his attention on the one he loves instead of the search for approval. And the answer was that he hadn’t, Draco never grew out of the desire to have everyone’s praise and approval.
‘If everyone loves you, if everyone wants to either be you or be with you, then you’ve succeeded.’ He’d told you late one night after one these balls. You’d looked at him with pity, not having the heart to tell him that love and validation are not synonymous, and you’d hugged him so hard that somehow you both knew it was all coming to an end soon.
He grew up being a magnet to both jealousy and admiration, a symphony of applause being the background track to the movie of his life, and he didn’t know how to live any other way. When all you’ve ever known is lustful stares from fellow peers, stolen glances at the back of your head, and unbridled acclaim masked behind attraction, then it’s hard to put that life behind and settle for the love of only one person.
Walk past, quick brush I don't like slow motion, double vision in rose blush I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush Everybody wants you But I don't like a gold rush
He truly was magnificent though, even you couldn’t deny. Years ago, when he’d walked down the stairs in one of those clad black suits, he had met you at the bottom of the stairwell and you could’ve sworn that you were floating on cloud 9. He had smiled so brightly at the sight of you, had laughed so sweetly in the space of your ear, and fit so tightly into your side like it was a home made only for him, that you were intoxicated on the feeling of him and hadn’t noticed what was happening.
You were falling in love. You weren’t flying, no, you didn’t have wind beneath mystical wings that you’d somehow managed to grow. You were falling, and at a speed so treacherous that you didn’t even realise it was happening until it was too late. One day you were falling, and the next you were ruins buried so far into the ground that you couldn’t even tell where the earth stopped and you started.
Falling in love with him was fast, like a bullet train, but everything after was so slow that you felt as if you weren’t even moving at all.
What must it be like to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominos I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit And the coastal town we wandered 'round had never seen a love as pure as it And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea 'Cause it could never be
Promises to run away together and start a life somewhere off in a distant town.
Fingertips, laced with the narcotic effect of young love, tracing lines across the expanse of each other’s faces and trying to figure out which of the other’s features would be inherited by your children.
Dreams about a time when your lives would no longer be dictated by the paths your parents had set out for you, but instead by the spontaneity and reassurance that came with endearment.
Tastes of tea replaced instead with the taste of each other as long-forgotten tisanes made home on bedside tables because you both got lost in the haze of tenderness.
Arguments about mundane and useless concepts that would go on for longer than necessary, because he insisted on disagreeing with everything, and always ended with your acute responses.
Lives that had once lacked passion, that had once been so dull they compared to Snape’s drawling, instead replaced with all the colours that the world had to offer.
It was the perfect life, the one you two had planned.
But it was too perfect to ever be real.
You take a deep breath and unhook the necklace to observe it once more, hoping that it’ll provide some comfort for the ache in your chest.
'Cause I don't like a gold rush, gold rush I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch Everybody wants you Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you Walk past, quick brush I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush Everybody wants you But I don't like a gold rush
“Y/N.” A voice slurs behind you.
You turn with furrowed eyebrows and roll your eyes when you see who it is, “Pansy.”
“Don’t be rude.” She hisses and hiccups as she stumbles toward you, “What are you doing out here?”
“Could ask you the same thing.” You narrow your eyes at her, “Are you drunk?”
“Just a tad.” She replies as she hiccups again and finally stands before you. You watch silently as she gracefully sits on the wood below her, making sure not to create creases in her dress or fall over in her heels.
“Shouldn’t you be in there? On his arm like a trophy?” You ask, and inwardly groan when you hear how jealous you sound.
“Probably.” She shrugs and looks out into the water. “It doesn’t matter though, I’m not you.”
She looks up and into your eyes, you look away immediately. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to take from that.”
“Yes, you do.” She states bluntly, “He told me why you left him. That was really selfish of you.”
You gasp and turn to look at her, “How dare you? You have no idea-“
“No, actually, I do.” She gets up from the ground swiftly as a fire rages in her eyes, “You think I don’t know what it’s like to be like him? We’re the same, we were practically raised on the same blueprint. Despite what you think, there’s a lot more to the issue than what lays on the surface.”
“Oh and I guess you have all the answers?” You spit out with a scoff.
“I thought Ravenclaws were meant to be smart.” She shakes her head and hiccups as she turns to face the water, “Draco’s entire life has always just been this.” Pansy turns and gestures toward the Manor with a grimace.
“It’s always been about being the best in the room, just so that he can earn five seconds of approval from his parents. But you came, and you showed him more, you gave him a glimpse of what love feels like. Then, because you were scared and couldn’t hack it, you left him.” She continues and you grip the necklace tightly in anger.
“That’s not what happene-“
“How can you possibly expect him to come back to me, to this bullshit, when he’s experienced actual happiness? How is he supposed to come back from you?” She finally turns to face you and you hear a slight crack in her voice with the last words, “I love him so much and if I could make him half as happy as you do then I would.”
“You can.” You breathe out shakily, “If you two try a little more then you’ll realise why it just makes sense.”
“Love isn’t about sense Y/N. It’s not about appearances, it’s not about applause, it’s not about any of the crap that him and I were raised to prioritize.”
“You call it crap but that’s all he knows, and he just isn’t ready to give it all up.”
“Why do you get to decide that for him?” She tilts her head to the side and raises her eyebrows, you look away from her.
“I should probably get back inside.” You mutter as you start to turn toward the manor.
“You’re righ-“ She gasps and you turn to see what’s shocked her, “You still have it?”
“Have what?”
“The necklace.” She points to your hand and you nod awkwardly in agreement, “I helped him pick it out.”
“Oh.”
“A sapphire to match your virtue and faithfulness.” She says absent-mindedly as her eyes lock on the piece of jewellery. “Guess he got that wrong.”
She laughs coldly and you scrunch your face in confusion, “Excuse me?”
“You’re just like the rest of them.” Before you even know what’s happening she’s reached for the necklace in your hand, “You love him until it’s no longer convenient, until the paint starts to chip.”
“That’s not true.” Your voice comes out shaky and lacking conviction, it makes her laugh again in disgust.
“And then who has to pick up the fallen pieces? Me.” She continues to ramble as she walks toward the edge of the boardwalk, you feel your breathing start to pickup as you try to focus on her instead of the lake behind her. “As if I don’t have my own pieces to pick up.”
“Pansy, please just come here so we can talk about this nicely.” You respond and swallow.
“No. You don’t deserve a civil conversation.” She spits out as she finally reaches the edge of the boardwalk and hangs the necklace out by her arm, “In fact, you don’t deserve anything. You don’t deserve his love and you definitely don’t deserve this pendant.”
“No!”
What must it be like to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominoes My mind turns your life into folklore I can't dare to dream about you anymore
Everything after falling in love with Draco happened in slow motion. You don’t know how, or when, but your life had become a slackening slideshow of bad decisions.
You hold your breath as you watch the necklace fall into the lake. It’s as though minutes, hours, days pass in that moment, but you know that it’s merely a few seconds. When the splash finally sounds, you let out a huge gasp and Pansy laughs as she turns to leave.
Panic sets in and you start to contemplate your options. You could jump in and get it yourself? No, that’s absurd, you’re not going to overcome your fear that easily. You could rush into the manor and find someone who’s willing to get it for you? No, no one would take you seriously.
You shake your head and decide to just do the easiest thing; try and work up the courage to get it yourself. You start to pull off your heels and scrunch up your dress so that you can step into the water and you walk toward the edge of the boardwalk.
But as soon as you’re near the water you realise that you can’t do it and your panic rapidly worsens. You step back a few paces before falling to the ground and pulling your head into your knees as silent sobs begin to shake your core.
Breaths, in rapid beats, are going to and from your lungs as the sound of the water swishing fills your ears. Nausea begins to set in your stomach as you think more and more about your terrible predicament, your fear of bodies of water and your sadness at losing the necklace combining to form one indestructible lump in the pit of your stomach.
“Y/N? Are you out here?” A voice calls out from a yard or two away and you try to recognize it, but everything is foggy in your state of trepidation.
“Shit, Y/N!” The voice calls out once more and you hear footsteps pick up to a run as the person approaches you. “I swear to Merlin, if you die I’m going to kill you!”
You realise that the person still hasn’t noticed you, and is probably assuming the worst, so you try your best to croak out a word- any word.
“Here.” You manage to rasp out between sobs and wheezes, and the person immediately runs toward you.
“Y/N? Are you okay?” They ask as they pull your head out from your knees and you try to nod slowly.
You blink back a few tears and try to focus on the face in front of you, “The- the-“ You try to say and shake your head of the confusion as the words refuse to formulate.
“Hey, breathe princess.”
You recognize the nickname and then soon enough your eyes register that Draco’s kneeling in front of you. “Draco?”
“Yes, it’s me.” He responds softly as he cups your face in his hands and tries to wipe a few of your tears, “Take a few deep breaths for me, yeah?”
You nod and do as told, breathing until you finally calm down and manage to think clearly again. “I’m okay.” You breathe out and he sighs in relief.
“I was so worried, Pansy came in rambling about getting back at you and something about tossing and water- And I was just so scared that she’d thrown you in or something, because I know that you can’t swim and you’re terrified of the lake so I-“
“Hey, slow down, I’m okay. I’m right here.” You respond and manage a weak smile. He nods and sighs again. “She didn’t toss me into the water, though I think she would’ve liked to. She threw in the necklace. Shit! The necklace, it’s still down there!” You exclaim as you try to stand up but find that your legs are asleep, and end up coming back down instantly.
“Calm down. What necklace?”
“The one you gave me, the one with the sapphire that you said was a family heirloom?” You ramble and he furrows his eyebrows.
“You still have that?”
“Yes, I do. And it’s at the bottom of the lake and I need to get it back!” You stand up and Draco immediately does the same, placing his hands on your shoulders to keep you still.
“It’s just a necklace Y/N, you don’t need it.”
“It’s not just a necklace, it’s-“ You pinch your nose and sigh, “It just means a lot to me, okay?”
He narrows his eyebrows but nods in understanding, “Okay.” He steps back from you and pulls off his suit jacket, looking absolutely magnificent with his toned shoulders showing beneath the well-fitted shirt.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to get it for you.” He shrugs and you shake your head.
“You don’t have to, I can figure something out.”
“You tried to figure it out and you had a full on panic attack, I’m the best option.” He says sternly as he looks at you and you nod in agreement, “Now just wait, very far away, and let me find it for you.”
“Thank you.” You call out behind him but he doesn’t respond.
At dinner parties I won't call you out on your contrarian shit And the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure as it 'Cause it fades into the gray of my day old tea 'Cause it will never be
“Here you go, in perfect condition.” He says as he drops the necklace into your hands and runs a hand through his hair. He looks gorgeous and you look down to avoid getting lost in his eyes.
“Your suit is wet.” You mumble with a sniff and he chuckles, the sound makes your heart race.
“We have magic, I’ll dry up.”
“Thank you.” You whisper as you finally look up at him and he smiles, that same hypnotic smile. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without it.”
“It’s just a necklace Y/N.” He smiles softly and you shake your head as tears begin to stream down your face again.
“No, it’s not just a necklace.” You sniff, “It’s you and I. It’s all that I have left of the love that we had, it’s all that I have left of the life we were going to build together.”
“Y/N.” The sternness in his voice makes you swallow hard, but you pull your hand up to indicate that you’re not done.
“Let me talk, please.” He nods and you continue, “This little gem is all the words that we never had the chance to say. It’s the nights we would’ve spent climbing into bed together, in our little house that’s tucked safely into a small town. It’s the cups of coffee I was going to make you when you woke up in the mornings, and the cups of tea you would’ve made me when we went to sleep. This little gem is the only thing I have to remind me that our love was real.”
“It also doesn’t hurt that it costs a fortune huh?” He asks with a grin, despite the fact that there’s sadness in his eyes, and you nod with a choked out laugh.
“Definitely a bonus.” You say as you laugh a little more and wipe away a few tears.
Draco pulls the necklace out of your hands and opens it to put it around your neck once again, and you turn around so he can put it on. “Look, Y/N, life is too short to fill up with ridiculous mistakes. You left me, like I never mattered to you, and it broke me.”
You turn back around quickly, “That wasn-“
He twists you back around abruptly, “Let me talk now.” You nod and he continues to hook the chain around your neck. “It took me months to decipher what you meant when you said that I had too much love for the spotlight, that I didn’t have the capacity to let it go. It took me months to finally grasp what you meant when you said that people fall at my feet, that my contrarian demeanor is a crowd-puller. And the recognition hurt, a lot, because I realised that you we right about most of it.”
You feel his fingers leave your neck as he places a soft kiss on your shoulder, “What was I wrong about?”
He pulls you back to face him and smiles as he looks down at you, “The only thing you were wrong about was my unwillingness to let it go.” He pulls you into his arms for a hug, and you sigh in his arms.
“You can’t just leave this life Draco, we both know it isn’t that simple.” You muffle into his chest and the vibrations of his chuckles make you smile.
“That’s where you’re wrong angel, I can just leave this life. You never gave me the option but,” You pull apart and he smiles so wide that you think his face might come apart, “I would give it all up, for you.”
Gleaming, twinkling Eyes like sinking ships on waters So inviting, I almost jump in
His eyes are shining as they look down at you with adoration and commitment, and it takes all the strength you have left inside to not pull him back into your arms. He brings his fingers up to the sapphire and rubs his thumb along it.
“It’s not all you have Y/N.” He pulls your chin up so you look him in the eyes, “I’m still right here.”
~~~
get added to my taglist 
taglist: @dracoscene @dreaming-about-fanfictions @astoria-malfcy @gwlvr @wh0re4blaise @marrymetheonott @dracomalfoyposts
~~~
hi lovies! guess who’s finally feeling good enough to write again! :) we’re going to ignore the fact that the FOOLWAG sequel is beating my ass though
I will not lie, I had a great time writing this, possibly one of my favourite requests by far. I was originally going to make the ending angsty but I figured  @evermoreeve (thx sweetie<3) reminded me that we all deserve a happy ending now and then.
anyway, i love you all,
jean <3
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headheartbellarke · 3 years
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HOME | Charlie Gillespie
Requested by anon:  "Hi! If request are open can you do a charlie imagine where him and the reader (she/her) met on a project a while back and have been friends for a while, but the reader kinda had a crappy home life so she gets overwhelmed by charlies family being so loving and perfect and she basically breaks down and feels like she doesn’t fit in and isn’t good enough for him? please and thank you so much, ur writing is amazing!!!"
PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem! reader
WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, anxiety, angst, fluff
WORDS: 2,036
SUMMARY: charlie takes co-star and girlfriend y/n home for christmas but that leads to self doubt in her (im so bad at these) [note: this takes place in 2021]
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    As Charlie pulls out the key from the ignition, I sigh, wringing my hands nervously. He unbuckles his seatbelt and faces me, giving me a bright, happy smile.
  “My family is so excited to meet you.” He says, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.
  “What if they hate me?” I whisper.
  My boyfriend, Charlie, and I first met on the set of Charmed – we were both in the first episode, but I left it after that due to scheduling conflicts with my other show, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. I had been a part of CAOS since its first episode – I played the role of Sabrina’s cousin, Sarah Spellman.
  Back then, we were just friends. After I left Charmed, we would text and call each other occasionally. Whenever we were in the same city, we would meet up – but that was hard considering we both had quite different lives. So, we didn’t think of each other as more than friends – sure I thought that he was attractive, but that’s it.
  But, in 2020, after CAOS was cancelled, I got a call from the casting director of Julie and The Phantoms: she was the one who had previously cast me in CAOS, and she believed that I’d be perfect for the role of Julie’s British cousin who joins her school after her parents relocate to LA – I also play Reggie’s love interest.
  I texted Charlie immediately after my manager finalized all the details for the new role. He had been excited and when shooting started in 2021, we were pretty inseparable.
  After a few weeks, I had developed a major crush on him ad the rest of the cast had also picked up on that. They were also convinced that Charlie liked me (which I didn’t believe at that time but later found out that it was, indeed, true) and they used to tease us about it all the time. Finally, a couple weeks before production ended, he asked me out on a date and it’s been really, really great so far.
  We’ve been dating for about nine months now and honestly, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s my home – all my life I’ve always felt lost, but I feel like I truly belong with him.
  Now, he laughs. “Baby. I promise you – they already love you. My mother’s been bugging me to bring you home ever since we started dating, and you’ve already met Megan, and she loves you.”
  “If you say so.” I say, still not convinced.
  He grins and we get out of his car and face his childhood home. I take a deep breath, shaking off my nerves. He knocks three times on the front door, and it opens immediately after.
  A petite, blonde woman steps out, with a wide smile on her face. She opens her arms as Charlie yells, “Mamacita!”
  “Mon chéri. Ça fait trop longtemps!”
  “Je vous ai manqué!”
  I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, but the scene in front of me is so heart-warming. Charlie’s mother is genuinely happy to see her son – one can tell by the way she’s holding him, almost like he’s a little child. Charlie is quite a couple inches taller than her, but he’s nestled his face into her shoulder.
  I can’t stop a grin from breaking out on my face. It’s honestly rather lovely. But I also feel a slight pang in my heart knowing that no one ever greets me like this when I go home.
  They separate from each other and she squeezes his shoulders, looking at him with so much love that I have to look away. I have never seen a mother look at their child like that, with such intense love. That’s dumb, I know. Mothers are supposed to love their children. But all my mother ever looks at me with is disappointment, anger, disgust, and – you get it.
  She notices me next and claps her hands. “You must be Y/N!”
  “Hi, Mrs. Gillespie. It’s so nice to meet you!” I extend a hand toward her.
  “Aw, come here! You’re gorgeous.”
  She pulls me in for a hug too, and for a moment I’m engulfed by the smell of white musk and the feeling of warmth.
  We pull apart and I smile at her, genuinely. All my anxiety has washed away.
  “My son is always talking about you, about how pretty you are and –”
  “Let’s go inside!” Charlie quickly cuts her off, eyes widened as I laugh.
  “But I wanna know what he says!”
  Mrs Gillespie winks at me as Charlie turns scarlet. “I’ll tell you when he’s gone.”
***
    Another roar of laughter erupts around the dinner table.
  Honestly, I’ve never seen a family like this – a family so connected, so loving. All of Charlie’s siblings – from his three older brothers to his little sister are here for Christmas Eve, and all of them are teasing each other, telling childhood stories, and just having the best time. I was, too. That was until I suddenly realized how I don’t fit in here.
  Everyone here grew up completely different than I did. When I was young, about two years old – my dad left my mom and I for another woman. I haven’t seen him since – although, he sends me a postcard and some money on holidays and birthdays. He’s travelling around the world with his new wife and is apparently ‘happier than he’s ever been.’
  The reason he left is because kids ‘freak’ him out and he isn’t ‘ready’ for that kind of responsibility. I mean, it wasn’t like he was fifteen when he had me: he was twenty-seven, and already married to my mother for about two years then.
  Naturally, my mother blames me for her divorce. I was born out of an accidental pregnancy, so my mother made sure to remind me every day that I was unwanted, and my birth was what ‘pushed’ him to leave us. Every single day, my mother told me that I shouldn’t have been born, that I was a mistake, that I was worthless, unlovable and so, so many more horrible things. She used to drink like crazy, and if I accidentally faced her in that state, she would sometimes hit me.
  Years and years of abuse and all that childhood trauma led me to develop a fear of abandonment, trust issues, intimacy issues, anxiety, and depression. Throughout school, I had been closed off, unable to form relationships and friendships with other people. I had feared anything and everything – I couldn’t even maintain eye contact with people.
  Of course, when I auditioned for CAOS and moved away to LA, away from that toxic environment, I got help and turned my life around. (My mother was incredibly happy to see me go since she had married another guy and now has a family with him – so I was the only thing left that reminded her of my father.) I learnt to accept, prioritize, and love myself – but I’m still working on that, of course.
  But, I know, deep down, no matter how well I am, or how happy I am – there will always be a part of me that’s broken. I’ve grown to accept that, accept the fact that I’ll always carry the trauma with me.
  But Charlie doesn’t. He’s lived a good life, and he deserves someone who can give him their everything – and that’s not me.
  As much as I hate to say it, I’m not good enough for him.
  He senses a change in my demeanour and squeezes my hand under the table. I give him a weak smile.
***
    “Y/N/N, what’s wrong?”
  I look up at my boyfriend. He has a look of concern on his face as he takes a seat next to me on the couch.
  I sigh into the quiet. Everyone has fallen asleep, except Charlie and I – we are seated in his living room in front of the fireplace.
  “Nothing. I’m just really tired.”
  “That’s not true, Y/N. You were fine throughout dinner – oh my god, it’s the ice cream, isn’t it?”
  “What?”
  “The pistachio ice cream that Maman made. It was weirdly bitter, eh? It’s okay, you can tell me.”
  I purse my lips. “No, Charlie. The ice cream was great.”
  “Are you sure? You’ve been down since desert.”
  “It’s not the ice cream, babe.”
  “Okay, then, what is it?”
  He looks at me expectantly, and I can sense that he’s feeling anxious.
  “I just – I realized that I don’t fit in.”
  He furrows his brows, but before he can say anything, I start speaking again. “Charlie, you have such a loving and perfect family. And you know how I grew up. What I went through. So, you know that I’m not used to this. I’m not – I’ve never seen love like this in a family, you know. And I don’t fit in here! While your mother was being so nice to me, I kept wondering when she’s going to scream at me. Or when your father was genuinely interested in me, I kept thinking that maybe he’s trying to find a way to get rid of me. It’s just – it’s just the way I grew up, and I’ll always be like this, Char. Your family is so nice, and it shocks me, honestly. And I think that maybe it’s better if you date someone who grew up the way you did, someone who’s like you. Because I have been broken my whole life, and I don’t think that I can give you everything that you need. I don’t think I’m good enough for you. You’re the best person that I’ve ever met, and I think you should be with someone who’s worthy of you.”
  I whisper the last part, and feel a teardrop fall into the space between my collarbones. I look down because I’m too afraid of what he might say.
  I hear him breathe out heavily and I feel him take my hands in his.
  “Don’t you ever say that.”
  “But it’s true –”
  “Y/N. Don’t you dare doubt yourself. You are good enough. No, you’re perfect. You’re the strongest woman I know. I completely understand why you feel what you’re feeling right now.”
  He scoots closer to me and cups my cheeks in his hands. “And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to feel shocked. That doesn’t make you a bad person, nor does it make you not good enough. In fact, it makes all the stronger – you went through so much as a kid, and still, you have space in your heart for me. You know, I never doubt the fact that you love me, ever. Because you always make me feel special, make me feel good about myself and always make sure that I’m happy. You always go out of your way to take care of me, and you always make me feel at home. I don’t want anyone other than you. I love you so much and I never, ever wanna lose you.”
  I think I’m fully crying now, as Charlie continues, “It’s okay to feel that way. Take your time. But I’m never leaving you. You’re my person, and you’ll always fit in with me, baby. Always.”
  “Charlie…”
  I look at him properly, and I can see the pain in his eyes as a tear traces along the curve of his cheek. He sniffs, saying, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine being with anyone other than you.”
  “Why are you so good to me?” I whisper, my throat still tight from the emotions.
  “Because you deserve someone good, and I can only hope that I’m good for you.”
  I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder as a sob escapes my body. “I’m so sorry, baby. So, so sorry.” I keep whispering that, while he rubs my back, saying ‘it’s okay.’
  “I love you so much, Charlie. Honestly, thanks for being so good to me. You have no idea what you mean to me.”
  I can feel him smile as he says, “I think I have a pretty good idea, yeah.”
***
jatp requests are open <3
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yarrowleef · 3 years
Text
Read Darkness Within all in one sitting last night and then passed out so here are my scattered thoughts i wrote down as i read, (afterthoughts in parenthesis)
Darkness Within Spoilers, obv
UGH GOD THE SECOND HAND EMBARRESMENT FROM SQUIRREL FAKE FLIRTING WITH ASHFUR IT HURTS
Just remembered Sandynose died and got a small boost of happiness (will Hawkwing and Plumwillow ever be allowed to talk again now? I mean probly not b/c they aren’t protags and non-protags don’t rly have friends but I can hope. Sorry, Hawkwhing and Plumwillow’s short-lived friendship in Hawkwings Journey was one of the last times I felt something)
Ghost fleas lol
Mothwing: i’m rude now. (but more importantly, Fuck Tigerheartstar for forcing his son to be around the cat that hurt him so badly, like he HAS to know how upset everyone is regarding Shadowsight and his accidentally helping the imposter, and he’s making him be the sole one to tend to him??? There is NO REASON Puddleshine couldn’t have done it. You think Puddleshine is going to try and murder someone?? )
Oh no don't make this a traveling book, and a ROOTBRISTLE traveling book this is going to be insufferable
BACON AND EGGS
Lightleap Is Good (Hey didn’t Shadowsight have another sister? lets be real we all knew Pouncekit was going to end up as the forgettable 3rd one)
Bristlefrost’s crush continues to feel unnatural to me. It’s like she’s grasping at straws romanticizing the most generic things.....wow....I love how ur just so...bare minimum competent....being polite to the loner we came all this way to ask for help like any somewhat reasonable person would....How admirable...I love the way you just *clenches fist* exhibit some basic traits of loyalty and skill that literally every warrior has (I s2g I’m this close to head canon-ing Bristle as a clueless aromantic who doesn't understand what romance is actually suppose to feel like so she just looks at feelings of low-bar admiration and assumes “oh I guess this is that “romantic attraction” everyone’s always talking about? guess I must be in love???” because both her crushes have felt out of nowhere and like. Idk fake/forced sounding like she’s just telling me that that she’s In Love Now while I continue to not actually feel it at all from her end. I know it’s just that I hate the way Erin’s write female characters in love but this head-canon makes me laugh)
Got scared because I thought they were going to villainize Spotfur for not wanting kits for a minute, but also excited at the concept of maybe exploring a female character that doesn’t want to be a mother, but it turns out she was just pulling a Sparkpelt and actually DID want the kits all along and was only hesitant because she’s sad. Shrug oh well.  (the only female character in warriors that was distinctly upset about pregnancy and motherhood was Lizardstripe and as we all know she was eeeeeevil and abusive and “overly ambitious” because why else would you not come around to being happy about motherhood?? YES I’M STILL SALTY ABOUT YELLOWFANG’S SECRET, BAD BOOK)  Whatever it’s fine so long as Spot doesn’t lose her rebel leader spirit forever and default to “soft mom” personality for the rest of her life, I gotta have hope because I actually like Bristle and Spot’s current relationship. Also I am actually very grateful they never made Bristle resentful at Spot for getting with her crush, as lots of middle grade/YA media has a very bad habit of demonizing female romantic “competition” and its super gross, so I rly do like that Bristlefrost is so protective and caring towards her instead. )
This series is trying to tell me that Rootspring is actually Big but I refuse to accept that. he has dumb scrawny bitch energy and we all know it
Sunrise: “Thunderclan may be better with a new leader” lol go off (i mean........they right tho...It’s unfortunate that the tension in this whole plot is a bit dampened by the fact that i DO in fact want bramble to die v badly. I don’t even have special hatred for him, I’m just bored of him.)
Yes Lionblaze beat the shit out of Ashfur
*HOLY SHIT THAT’S FUCKED!!!! (I wrote this in reference to the ghost summoning scene, this was all I could manage at the time, that scene was WILD and I am VIBING WITH THE HORROR OF IT ALL)
* Brashfur: Oh yeah? Could Ashfur fake THIS? *stands up with slightly better posture* Shadowsight: oh damn you got me there...... (asdfhhfhhgh im sorry that was really funny, how did that prove anything?? ONLY A ~REAL~ WARRIOR COULD STAND UP STRAIGHT WE ALL KNOW ASHFUR IS INCAPABLE OF GOOD POSTURE!)
End of the book: *LAUGHING NERVOUSLY* WHAT THE FUCK??? (I thought he was just gonna kill Squirrelflight right there holy shit can you imagine the RIOTS that would ensue in the wake of all this Squirrel/Bramble discourse I was so scared for a second.  
 But it’s fine, she just....went to super hell instead......Warriors has come so far lmao WHAT IS HAPPENING
Final Notes:
*On Mothwing, I don’t think her behavior struck me as “CHARACTER BUTCHERING” as much as it did for other people? I mean.....Warriors fans will say that literally any time a character does ANYTHING less then perfectly nice I think her actions just seemed that much harsher because we are reading from Shadowsight’s POV, and Shadowsight is taking everything 10x more personally right now (understandably so, but Mothwing isn’t inside his head) she wasn’t trying to hurt him. Also... like... Shadowsight DID get his name too early. It’s not Mothwing’s job to put his feelings above everything else, she’s not even his mentor, Puddleshine on the other hand, as his main mentor, I don’t understand what his deal is ignoring Shadowsight, that’s not how you help an apprentice but I suppose I chalk many of his mistakes up to also not being the most experienced medicine cat (he barely even had his own mentor.) Maybe he’s distant because he feels guilty and actually blames himself for not guiding Shadowsight better?? the two of them haven’t communicated about it yet so idk
 any way I give Mothwing a pass to be a little short tempered right now as a cat who has had her abilities periodically questioned all her life no matter how hard she works or how much experience she has, just because she doesn’t vibe with the spiritual cult side of the clans, I can understand why she’s a bit defensive of being questioned and frustrated watching so much hurt happen Yet Again due to reliance on StarClan visions over common sense, and I for one still stan her for slandering StarClan and refusing to accept Mistystar’s bullshit banishing like everyone else. Sometimes a character is at the end of their rope and can’t manage to be 100% nice 24/7 and that’s maybe not inherently bad writing? idk just my hot take. At a certain point we all gotta reckon with the fact that our perception of most popular supporting characters in heavily colored by fanon and we can’t always get mad at the authors for not adhering to it
*The sisters magic shit is my fav worldbuilding warriors has had in AGES, I love the way it’s described and it actually feels like it adds something to this world. I love this horror imagery with the ghosts, very excited for that. 
*still won’t be thrilled if Ashfur is working alone, because his motive doesn’t make sense right now. I mean the trying to get Squilf thing, sure, whatever, but the “I will make everyone pay for what they did to me”???? cause like?? Who??? they didn’t do anything to him?? Ashfur’s grievance was very specifically JUST Squilf. He has no other cause for revenge, he had no other beef or complaints about the clans to my knowledge? The cat that killed him is dead, and she’s like, the only other one that I could see as having “wronged” him?? I guess he also didn’t like Firestar much according to Graystripe’s Vow (and on account of how willing he was to kill him w/ Hawkfrost) but Firestar is ALSO dead. I don’t understand his angle. Will have to see last 2 books to judge i suppose.
*All in all I am interested to see where this is going!! but also the pacing as I feared is becoming a major issue. It’s better then ending the main conflict on book 3 like Vision of Shadows did, but omg. Hardly anything happened in all these pages. I realized I was over half way through and nothing about the situation had actually CHANGED or advanced at all in all that time. Similar to the past 2 books which I believe could have been combined, this plot felt like it should have been the first half of a book. Discussing whether or not to kill the imposter isn’t much of a standalone plot, it’s just the set up to a plot. Finding the sisters didn’t need to be a whole long thing, the debates about the Imposters fate didn’t need to be repeated 10 times, all those chapters illustrating that “Shadowsight is sad” were also drawn out, repetitive, and interchangeable, we probably only needed 2 or so chapters showing his struggles to get the necessary information across. It felt like a lot of padding, it was really slow and I did a lot of skimming. I am still very interested in the overarching plot and mystery behind the ghosts so that kept me reading but man this “will they won’t they kill him” plot did not justify it’s own whole book. Alas this is a persisting issue that will never be resolved while they continue to force 6 books into 1 series that doesn’t need 6 books. I’m sure the writers are doing the best they can with these unfortunate constraints but still, it’s a wonder this slow padding isn’t more of a detriment to their younger readers that the books are supposed to be marketed to.
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katslitg · 4 years
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how the open heart lis would react to you being pregnant. (obvs jackie’s pregnant in her scenario.)
Jackie Varma:
god she’d be pissed!!!!!!
“what do you mean positive??? check the other ten tests!!!!”
“jack, all of them say posi-“ “shut up!!!”
she’d be mad, mostly at herself for not being careful enough
pregnancy on top of money problems is rough
good thing you two already live together
wouldnt acknowledge it until she started showing
“dr varma, ure pregnant???” “yeah, just ignore it.”
shed ignore you at the beginning, not knowing what to do
“jackie, c’mon, you cant keep ignoring me! it takes to two to tango!” “i can and i will,”
when you finally force her to come shopping for baby clothes, supplies, furniture etc, she loves it
“omg look how adorable! can you believe our baby’s feet are this small!”
she’d become insecure further into the pregnancy
“what if im not going to be a good mom, hm?”
“don’t say that, jack, you’ll be a great mom,”
you two would move into the your room, since it had a better view and change her room into a nursery
the boys would help you put everything together.
“bryce, that’s not where its supposed to be- ykw forget it.”
“jesus, dr ramsey do you even know how to-“ bryce would shut up just seeing ethan give him a glare
“see i knew raf would come around to save the day” she’d flirt with him, making him blush
cutest mood swings ever!!!
“all im saying is he’s a fucking jerk and i- ohhh sienna are those donuts?”
jackie would get stressed at the weirdest moments, and you kiss her and cuddle with her to calm her down
“mc, you know i hate kids, why did this have to happen to us!!!!”
she’d slowly come to terms with the fact that she was going to become a parent
god giving birth would scare this woman, and trust me not a lot of things scare her
“mc, what if-“ “jack, breath, everything will be fine!”
when you two found out you’d have a daughter she smiled
“at least i wont have to deal with a little mc” she’d joke
when she got in labour she’d curse at everyone!!!
“AND YOU! YOU MC ARE THE WORST ONE HERE! GETTING ME PREGNANT AND THAN MAKING ME DO THE HARD PART I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!”
“uhhh....”
after a couple of years, the three of you would move into a bigger apartment, still close to the hospital
god, your daughter absolutely lovessssssssss aunt sienna and uncle elijah!!!! these two dorks would hang around with her all the time
“dad, can i stay at aunt sienna’s after school?”
“she’s working today sweetheart but mommy will be there to pick you up”
you two would have some sweet, annoying nicknames for her
love, sweetheart, sugar, honey etc
Bryce Lahela:
he’d be excited and scared
he would freeze when he found the positive pregnancy test in his trashcan
“i wanted to tell you but seems like you already found out,”
he’d shut you out and be less loud at work
“bryce, please talk to me” “uhh, cant have a long shift today”
but one day you’d show up to his apartment, keiki opened the door
“oh hey keiki, is bryce home?” “yeah come in”
youd try to get him to talk but man he was not feeling it
“i just need some space mc,”
wouldnt even take a week for him to come over and apologize to you
“im just not sure if i’d make a good dad, i mean i had two bad examples growing up, what if i-“
youd cut him off with a kiss
“no need to stress, bryce, im certain you will make a great dad!”
you two would have to look for a bigger place, and also someone to fill your spot at the apartment
sienna, elijah and jackie would help you decorate the nursery
“jackie those colours do not match with the blankets i bought” sienna would say while jackie just rolled her eyes
“well maybe you shouldn’ve bought so! many! blankets!” jackie said while holding up multiple blankets
“guys please its mc and bryce’s child we can’t fight over this” elijah was the only one who would think rationally
when you found out you were having a son bryce almost jumped into the air
“a little bryce,,,,” he’d say with heart eyes, making you roll your eyes
when you went into labour, he’d be the one freaking out
“can’t believe im saying this when im the one in labour, but good god bryce calm down!”
uncle raf!!!!! aunt kyra!!!!!
rafael and kyra would absolutely adore your son!!!! theyd fight over whose turn it was to babysit
“kyra, you had him last weekend!” “but mc said he always talks about how fun aunt kyra is!”
“why dont you two take him to the park together? he loves both aunt kyra and uncle rafael equally” bryce would say, making the two adults reluctantly agree
“finally a moment alone with the woman of my dreams” he said the second they left, making you chuckle
keiki would hang out with your son. occasionally.
“aunt keiki can you read me a bedtime story?” “right. im aunt keiki.”
she’d love it secretly
Rafael Averio: (pretending sora doesnt exist here lol)
this man would beam with joy!!!
he had always dreamt of having a big family of his own
“youre pregnant?” “yeah.... i-“ he’d kiss you before you could even say anything else
would brag to everyone about it
“do you guys know im goin-“ “going to be a dad? yes raf you told us like a million times” his paramedic friends would say
it was even funnier when you saw how some people avoided him because of it
would not leave ur side
“jesus ever heard of personal space?” “oops sorry”
he’d be at ur apartment all the time
“raf, not that we don’t enjoy you being here but don’t you idk have other friends?” jackie would try to get him out of the house
sienna’d be fine with it since he would help her cook n bake stuff
“i didnt know you cooked!” “not really just some stuff i picked up from my grandma”
he’d sleep over at your apartment
when you got insecure he’d talk to you and make u forgot about it in a certain way ;)
“what if im not a good mom? or what if your fanily doesn’t approve of me?? oh good god this is not going how i imagined-“ “relax, you know my family loves you, now get over here”
you’d move in with him, and get someone to fill ur spot in the apartment
the two of you going to the senior center together!!!
“now edith you better not get to comfortable” you’d joke, earning a laugh from rafael
kyra and bryce would come over and help with the nursery, of course it was after the boys’ gym day so bryce dragged ethan with them
“hey gu- oh hey dr ramsey!” you’d say with a bright smile when you opened the front door.
“kyra not that i dont love you but what even is this?” “yeah i tried to make a blanket but as you can see it backfired”
“uhm ethan you sure that this is the color we picked out?” bryce would panic, knowing damn well they didnt do the one you asked them to do right
“well good thing aunt kyra did got the good color” she’d go get it from the car while the two men started at her in confussion
when you found out you were having a girl he got super excited
“a little mc running around the house” he’d say, already coming up with names
when you’d go into labour he’d put up a calm gentle persona while in reality he wanted to screammmmm
uncle bryce n aunt jackie!!!
u cant tell me bryce n raf havent become close friends
“hey dad can uncle bryce and aunt jackie stay for dinner?” “sweetie youre ignoring the rest of our guests”
even tho they would admit it bryce and jackie loved babysitting her
“do you want to come with uncle bryce?” “bryce thats enough its MY day!”
his family would come around often, bringing gifts every single time
his grandma would try to get him to propose, earning glares from him
when your daughter heard juliana say something along the lines of “when is the wedding” she’d get super excited!!!
“are you two really getting married??!!”
Ethan Ramsey:
you two would already be in an awkward position bc of the gwyneth thing
what was worse was that he admitted to not wanting to get married and have children
god, that little fight on the way to leland and at house took a toll on you, so when june came to check on you back in the hospital you told her
“so, youre pregnant?” “yeah” you’d sob
she wouldnt force you to tell her who the dad is, but it was obvious
before the fight you’d always come to the diagnostics team’s meetings with a smile on your face but now it was a neutral face or sometimes even a frown
soooo ethan found out. not directly from you, but from june, resulting in another fight
“you told june but not me?” “you dont even want kids i cant just casually bring it up!”
the awkwardness would be there for a while, im talking 2-3 months
“enough already! you two talk this out! not only is this bad enough for the two of you but also for me and baz! think about us! and our patients!” june’d snap one day
you’d talk it out, still awkward around each other
“jesus, ethan we can’t keep doing this, i have an appointment to check on the little one, you want to join?” you would try to keep the awkwardness at a certain level, he’d nod with a smile on his face
so when he found out he was having a son, he’d be happy, still very scared but very happy
“im sorry, mc. i acted as a jerk and didnt listen to your needs. i want to be in your and our baby’s lives.”
he’d ask you to move in with him, which you reluctantly agreed to, i mean there wasnt even enough space for a nursery in your apartment
sienna would invite herself and elijah over to help you with the nursery , since they knew about you two since that time after the hearing
“thank you, trinh,” ethan would say as he accepted the cookies she had baked
“i helped too. just so you know” elijah chimed in, earning a chuckle from you
god labour was the worst, you had to do an emergency c section since it was a bit too early for the baby to be born
so when they send your son off to the nicu, ethan would be there the whole time, very worried
“dr ramsey, you should go we’ll take care of him” the nurses would try to get him out of there with no luck, “no its fine i just want to stay here”
when you two could finally go home he would make sure to never youre side
“mc do you need anything? want me to bring you something to drink? maybe an extra blanke-“ “ethan shut uppppppppppppppppp its 3 am”
of course your friends would come over but not as often since they had to take care of their interns and stuff
uncle baz and aunt june!!!!!
“AUNT JUNE!!!!” he’d yell when you, june and baz picked him up from the daycare at the hospital
“wow so youre just ignoring uncle baz?” baz would act hurt, making the boy laugh
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panlyv · 3 years
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top 5 characters you headcanon as trans from asian shows in general (doesn’t have to be bl) AND top 5 characters from the gifted/tgg!!! - rahul 💛
rahuuuuuuuuul!!! im So Sorry that im only answering this now after like three centuries lmao but i hope u can still accept my answers 🥺
top 5 trans bbs:
1. vlad from gaya sa pelikula: *screeches like a pterodactyl* MA BABY!!!!! thanks to u and ur amazing galaxy brain, vlad is definitely my #1 trans headcanon of all times, he’s just too trans to not be trans!!!! it baffles me how that’s not canon like PLEASE LOOK AT HIM! TRANS!
2. mork from my tee: after i read this post, trans!mork has been living on my mind rent free. it just Makes Sense and god if him being trans was canon, maybe my tee would have another tolerable aspect that isn’t frankdrake ❤️
3. wave from the gifted: i have no logical explanation for this one. i just Feel it. in my bones. he’s trans!
4. kitty from dark blue kiss: LISTEN. SHE’S TOO ICONIC AND INCREDIBLE AND BEAUTIFUL TO BE CIS I’M SORRY!!!!!!!!
5. team from until we meet again: i...... yeah. idk man he just speaks to me and i find him such an interesting character. from the few chapters i read of hemp rope, we still have So Much more of him to see that wasn’t shown in uwma, and we’ll most likely get a backstory in between us so IMAGINE how groundbreaking it would be to have him canonically trans and for us to see his journey :(
top 5 the gifted (graduation) characters:
1. MY GIRL NAMTAAN!!!!!! i love namtaan SO MUCH. i love how she’s too much of a sherlock for her own good, but she’s so determined and strong, even with her condition and basically the world telling her to step down and just accept it, she won’t let anything or anyone stay between her and her heart’s desire. and she’s so loving and caring :( she cares about pang and ohm sososooo much :( and when she was the only one willing to reach out to wave and befriend him despite his hostility god!!!!! i know we all praise pang for being the responsible for wave’s growth, but if it wasn’t for namtaan and her kind heart that was ready to welcome wave, maybe he would’ve taken a lot longer
2. chanon................. listen. i know we had him for one episode in s1 and he NEEDS to come back in tgg... i love him okay. I DO. with all my heart. chanon is so selfless and his heart was filled with so much love for pom that he willingly gave up his future just so he could see the love of his life achieve his dreams, because pom’s happiness is more important to him than his own :( and now?? that we know he remembers everything??? and has been secretly spying on the gifted???? AND IS STILL FIGHTING FOR A BETTER, FAIRER WORLD???? how can i not love this emo man 😭😭😭😭
3. wave :( literally ‘neoneun na, naneun neo’ u kno :(( we are The Same and i see sososooooooooooo much of myself in wave. finding solace in loneliness? trust issues?? hostility towards help??? feeling like i need to prove myself all the time???? yeah...... yh. he’s just... too real. and after seeing how much he’s grown since s1 :( my heart exploded, im so proud of him :( to see him having fun, enjoying his friends, but most importanly, enjoying himself. the bit where he’s singing another bird thongchai bop at the top of his lungs?? all by himself?? just to feel good? THAT’S MY SON!!!!!!!!!! 
4. pang!!! u know he had to be here like what can i do i love my son and i just want him to GET A BREAK. he tries so hard to be a good person and do what’s best for everyone that sometimes i forget he’s just a teen and teens make mistakes, but he seems to forget that too :(( and asks so so so much of himself :( but he can’t do everything and he’s learning that too during all of this. i think what i most like about pang is that he’s just as flawed as the rest of them, instead of having him be the perfect hero that saves the day, and thanks to that we see him try, fail, stand up again, and learn to do better next time
5. mon and grace because i am gay. and ik im cheating but i LOVE my girls and they deserve BETTER. both of them. and more screentime PLEASE
5.5 punn because when i watched the gifted for the first time, my #1 was punn, and i still like him a lot but recent events made him lose his spot pls say sike
send me top 5 anything!
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kinkymagnus · 4 years
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Henlo!! I love your blog so much 😍 it gives me life and makes me happy when I have a bad day. I was wondering if you had any headcanons about Malec’s first time or something where Magnus is a nervous wreck cause he has to tell Alec that he’s trans? Thank you and sorry for the bother 😭♥️
y’all it is a CRIME how long this has been in my inbox, im really sorry and ur not bothering me at ALL i just love this ask and wanted to do it JUSTICE 👏
also im!!! so flattered!!! aaaaaAAAA im glad my blog can cheer u up :) 
okokok so trans magnus + malec’s first time + magnus being nervous about coming out lghkjgfh
ok i have no fucking idea why but i’m making this twi malec. i’m just. in the mood for twi malec i guess. fuck it amiright
magnus is just. he has a lot of secrets. there’s a reason he hasn’t gotten close to anyone in a long time, there’s a reason he only talks to two or three people who actually know him, there’s a reason he hasn’t been how he used to be--out and about, flashy and showing off and wearing armor made of glittering beauty and colorful silks and bold makeup, instead of comfortable cardigans and twitching hands and quiet. 
speaking of which: def headcanon twi magnus wasn’t always the way he is in that episode. he was a lot like canon magnus once upon a time, charismatic (well, he’s still charismatic, but like, in that bold flashy way, you know?) and open (closed off, but with the illusion of having all his cards on the table) and bold
anyway. there’s a reason. lots of reasons. mostly all the secrets he hides.
the fact that he has magic, that he’s immortal, a dusty relic of a time long gone, of an age past, clinging on past his due date. he feels like he doesn’t belong in the modern world, like he should have died with the shadow world, like he should have been sealed out with all the other demons.
the fact that he is a prince king of hell, son and slayer of the greater demon asmodeous himself. even tho he’s sealed it all away, he has a huge amount of power, both from just. originally being the son of such a powerful demon, a fallen angel, and also from managing to kill one.
i don’t think it fits with canon twi lore but i don’t care, i’m saying twi magnus was involved in the sealing of the realm, and he managed to kill asmodeous and basically absorb his power, so a) he actually did this huge incredible feat that changed the whole world, whether on purpose or not i’m not sure yet (it has something to do with asmodeous, but i’m not seeing the whole picture yet) and b) he’s actually. more powerful than canon magnus. it’s partially why he sealed away his magic for so long, he was afraid of what that power could do. 
honestly i dont have this super well thought out but i like the potential
but anyway! barely related to this! let’s get back on topic!
and. the fact that he’s trans. a decidedly more mundane secret, but still one he keeps close to his chest. he’s lived through a lot of eras with bad very transphobic times? like he’s lived through places/times with very accepting atmopshere, but he’s also lived in like, victorian england, you know? and canon magnus had a chance to be more out of his shell and open in the modern world but this magnus has completely closed himself off. he mostly talks to people other than his close friends to give them a tarot reading. he’s not like, totally cut off, i can’t imagine him like. not helping people. you know. idek. but the point is he’s more isolated. canon magnus was closed off in a lot of ways, but still surrounded by people. he had a job to do, people to protect, and parties to attend. not to mention going to pandemonium and stuff. twi magnus isn’t really doing that. man i really went on a tangent here but the point is i feel like that would contribute to how he feels about being trans. feeling isolated, having less friends to be open with and to help him you know? in my experience it’s a lot harder to feel like. valid? without that sense of community. even with a few close friends, it’s hard. if you’re “passing”, which magnus is, it feels like a secret. 
the point is! i am getting so off track! magnus has got layers and layers and layers protecting him, both literal and metaphorical (he doesn’t wear the more flashy and revealing clothing canon magnus occasionally favors, preferring thick and comfortable sweaters and cardigans and stuff like that. bonus headcanon: whatever happened that ended in asmodeous dead and the walls of the world sealed, it left magnus with more scars. not to mention top surgery scars he may have, or even just hiding a binder, or using thick layers to disguise small tiddies since binders are great but you can’t bind all the time or every day for centuries and still be like, healthy. anYWAY) 
and when he starts dating alec despite that little cautious voice in his head insisting he needs to not get attached, alec begins to just. effortlessly peel those layers away
he’s so blunt and honest, unlike people who have lied to and manipulated magnus in the past (CAMILLE, anyone? i feel like she’d still be a thing in the twiverse. also asmodeous, albeit in a different way) and he’s gentle and loud and bold and he’s funny and sweet and he just. fucking cares about magnus.
when he finds about magnus’s magic he’s like “oh my god that’s so cool” he just fucking accepts him so easily!!! 
and even when magnus ends up tearfully confessing he may or may not be a literal king of hell (or, one of the hell dimensions) alec’s like “damn, i’m dating royalty?” and maybe makes a joke about not everyone getting to make a king scream with pleasure and magnus is just so relieved???
but that’s later
anyway
they haven’t had sex yet and magnus is just like. he feels like inevitably this relationship is gonna fall apart. he has too many secrets, too many hidden parts of himself that if he ever shed light on, alec wouldn’t see him the same way
and as much as he wants alec to fuck him, as much as he wants to be in bed with alec and cuddle with him and have sex with him and show him everything, he feels like he can’t, it would be the beginning of the end
he keeps pulling back just as alec begins to initiate, and alec never pushes but wonders if he’s doing something wrong, or if maybe magnus is asexual, or just doesn’t want to have sex for other reasons, and eventually he broaches the topic with magnus and magnus is so surprised alec noticed something is wrong (he expected alec might confront him over not “putting out” but alec doesn’t seem to care about the sex--he makes sure to emphasize while he is attracted to magnus and would lvoe to have sex with him if that’s what magnus wants, it’s by no means a requirement--but more about. magnus. and communicating with him.) that he just blurts out i’m trans. 
and alec kinda blinks at him. his beautiful, wonderful, nervous and scared boyfriend. and he ends up blurting out oh thank god. because he would be more than okay with magnus not wanting to have sex--he’s super gorgeous and absolutely smoking hot, but alec doesn’t ever like, want to have sex with him unless magnus wants to. obviously. but he was honestly worried it wasn’t magnus but him, that he’d done something wrong or wasn’t attractive or something, and honestly worrying about something being wrong with him was not a feeling he was used to. then he realizes how bad that just sounded, and he’s like, aaaaaaaAAAA WAIT and ends up panickedly rambling like i mean sorry i just was kind of worried i was doing something wrong but like, i love you so much and you being trans changes nothing about that, and if you never want to have sex that’s totally okay and i love you, but if you’re worried about me still being attracted to you that’s not a problem, but-- and magnus is like y-you’re not?? but you’re gay! and i’m-- and you know that feeling of like. internalized [insert form of bigotry towards yourself, in this case transphobia]. where you think something bad about yourself. and if you think about it you’re like “no that’s transphobic i would never think that about anyone else” and your brain is just like “yeah it’s true about you tho” that’s this. magnus is like. i’m not a real man, how could you be attracted to me? and alec (not to be all Cis Savior, but look, magnus deserves a loving supportive boyfriend who comforts him and shit, okay! i am PROJECTING) is like yeah i’m gay and you’re a gorgeous, beautiful, stunning man? 
and they end up talking it out and get it sorted that yes, magnus does want to have sex, but it would be okay if one of them didn’t want to, magnus being trans does not make alec unattracted to him, it’s okay, they’re okay, because malec are Kings of Communication,
ANYWAY
ACTUAL FIRST TIME
probably not the same day, that day they cuddle and talk 
but like later
>:)
alec is just so gentle and reverent y’all. like. them big hands on magnus’s body, all warm and gentle and magnus is like oh fuck this is nice
they do have to kind of communicate boundaries--alec’s asks if there’s anywhere magnus doesn’t want to be touched because dysphoria (or any other reason) and vice versa, magnus trying to be like “you know if you only want to fuck my ass or have me wear a strap-on or anything like that it’s fine, i understand you’re not necessarily attracted to those parts of me” and alec’s like “we’ve established that you would enjoy me eating you out and i WANT TO EAT YOU OUT” 
their first time probably is pretty simple, “vanilla”, idk why but im thinking they just exchange oral sex tbh like magnus blows him and then alec eats him out 
also magnus cums pretty fast bc he hasn’t been touched like this in a long time and he’s very embarrassed about it but alec is like “damn that’s hot can i try to make you cum a few more times” 
ok but imagine their first time it’s just alec holding him down and eating him out until he sobs and squirts? yes
anyway tho they have like, lots of “other” first times too like. first time alec fucks his pussy. first time alec fucks his ass. etc. 
first time alec slides that Thick Dick balls deep into magnus’s cunt he’s for sure immediately on the edge of orgasming he’s so full and it feels so good--
and alec’s like holy SHIT bc he’s warm and wet and tight and he clenches every time alec praises him or dirty talks him and it feels amazing
first time alec fucks his ass is also very fun for both of them ;) 
it’s just a good time all around folks communication and magnus getting pounded the way he deserves :’) 
not to mention when they first start getting into kinks 
alec, carefully broaching the topic of bondage: how would you feel... about handcuffs?
magnus, barely looking up: mm, padded or not? and what kind of padding? the normal kind hurt my wrists after too long and not really in a nice way, so i like padded. furry can get a little itchy sometimes but they look real nice. also, are we talking above my head to the bedpost, and if so, am i on my stomach or back? because stomach is a little uncomfortable. or like, behind my back? especially bent over, mm. good view for you ;) 
then he like looks up and realized he’s said all of this very casually and alec’s looking at him with 1. shock and 2. lust 
like. “i wasn’t expecting this, but i really should have, and now i want to bend you over and tie you up and fuck you hard” 
and he blushes just a lil bit like o shit i just said all that and alec’s like “padded it is. behind your back or above your head... hm... both have potential, but maybe the latter? i love you on your back under me, i can see so much of your beautiful body and all of your gorgeous face :)” 
and like TOYS 
aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA ANYWAY
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seoulscenarios · 6 years
Text
College AU! Yang Jeongin
Well,,, the end is finally here and i can’t thank everyone enough for showing this series so much love and support! I can’t believe it’s finally the end i’m close to tears everyone! I hope you enjoy this last installment <3
-Major: Art and Design
-Minor: Applied Music
-Sports: he was scouted by the track and field coach bc he saw jeongin run across campus extremely fast carrying a massive art folder bc he was late for class so jeongin went,,, and stayed though he’s not the fastest he gets doted on by all the seniors who coo over him bc wow look at this adorable kid
-Clubs: photography bc he loves taking photos but not enough to analyse them lmao, also goes to choir but he’s a very nervous boy bc the choirmaster is SCARY
-Jeongin being the youngest means he gets smothered with love and he’s like hYUNG PLS GET OFF ME but he secretly loves it bc it means they all buy him food so he doesn’t have to pay for it himself ;)
-Literally the only reason he puts up with the cuddles is so they treat him afterwards
-(Though when he is tired he lets Chan pull him in onto his lap and he just snuggles up to him bc he’s just a tired soft boy)
-(When he wakes up he tells Chan not to tell his flatmate Jisung bc otherwise Jisung would chase him for hugs all the time)
-Jeongin is literally the campus cutie and literally all the seniors help him carry his art folder and he’s like !!!! I can do it myself and they just reply by ruffling his hair and taking his art folder whilst trying to balance 5 textbooks and he’s worried but doesn’t know how to tell them it’s fine
-Let’s just take a moment to appreciate Jeongin who goes to his art classes wearing overalls and a striped shirt, with circle glasses and a big grin bc he’s finally painting mY HEART
-Jeongin’s preferred medium is paint but he is also partial to chalks bc he’s just a kid okay let him have this
-You can always spot him bc he’s always covered in paint splatters no matter how many times he’s tried to get the stains out it’s very adorable
-He really loves to paint especially in summer and he goes to the park and paints the scenery bc everyone is happy and so is he
-His room is just filled with stacks of paintings from his adventures at the park
-Jisung tries to get Jeongin to paint him and just sits pouting on his bed and jeongin REFUSES bc he can’t draw people let alone paint them and he STRESSES and Jisung is like oh NO DON’T STRESS
-Jisung, backhugging a confused Jeongin: stress is bad for the baby
-Jeongin: hyung, I’m not a baby
-Jisung: I’M the baby shhh let me hug you
-Jeongin: hYUNG
-Jeongin is secretly happy to live with Jisung bc the two of them are just big kids but Jisung is like his biggest supporter
-He’s struggling with a piece of artwork? Jisung treats it like the Mona Lisa and Jeongin is EMBARRASSED but has a lot more faith in his work and his teacher loves it
-Jeongin texts Jisung when he gets his grade and Jisung is like THAT’S MY BABY YOU DID THAT
-The only problem with Jeongin and Jisung living together,,,, is they are actual children and Woojin is almost constantly round to clean up after them bc it’s just a whirlwind of paint splatters and crumpled up paper
-Woojin couldn’t even find the plates until he was putting the groceries away and found them in the freezer????
-(yes Woojin does food shopping for the boys bc otherwise they’d be living off takeout and instant ramyeon and woojin’s like ur not getting the right nutrients as he stockpiles their fridge and cupboards with rice and vegetables and pre-cooked dinners courtesy of Chan who was stress cooking the other day)
-Jeongin just shrugs and returns to his easel
-Oh,,, the boys don’t really understand his work but they love and support anyway
-Jeongin,,, what is that?
-It’s a building landscape?
-Umm… sure it looks amazing sweetie you’re doing so well
-Jeongin just loves abstract paintings that confused people and you bet he has a picture of him with some of picasso’s work framed on his desk
-His mantra: if Picasso can do it, so can i
-His professors love his work bc he’s the literal sunshine when he’s in class and he answers questions very cutely and they’re like,,,, we shouldn’t have favourites but damn it’s Jeongin
-The students can’t even argue bc,,, their favourite too, is Jeongin
-But he is a genuinely great artist and everyone admires his stuff
-He even got one of his first of ever pieces put on display and all the prospective students are like ?!??! this is done by a FIRST YEAR
-That’s privilege bc only final year students have their stuff displayed in the art department
-When Chan was picking Jeongin up from class and saw his artwork on the wall he took a photo of it on his phone and sends it too Woojin and they’re both,,, look at our son go we’re so proud of you :’)
-You can almost guarantee Chan took the boys out for a celebratory meal and they’re all like,,, we don’t know the occasion but free food?? Sign me up
-Jeongin just sits there and is very confused bc he too doesn’t know the reason but Chan orders him his favourite dish and he’s a very happy baby
-Chan does a toast to his youngest son Jeongin just DIES bc why is Chan embarrassing him like this and why is the whole restaurant cheering for me
-Cue Jeongin melting into his seat, hoping for the floor to just swallow him up there and then tbh
-He’s just a flustered boy when people compliment his work bc he works so damn hard and he doesn’t think what he produces is good enough
-And everyone is like Okay who are we fighting :)
-Jeongin’s like,,, no one??? I said it’s not good enough
-Everyone:…. Time to smother you in cuddles and compliments until you believe in yourself
-Jeongin: o h  n o
-He tries to run but,,, Seungmin’s arm is flung out and omg since when was Seungmin strong (he concludes it’s all the law book he carries around) and long story short; jeongin finds himself in a cuddle pile for a good hour and given so many compliments bc they just want him to feel better and more confident :’)
-ALSO,, at 3RACHA gigs he’s the most hyped there (besides Jisung but he never rests)
-He’s there with his little glow sticks and jumping up and down in his seat bc they’re his hyungs and he’s so proud of them
-Can we also take another moment to accept the fact that Jeongin goes to Chan and Changbin for singing advice bc he trusts them and they really help him improve esp his confidence
-He goes to choir practice and asks the scary choirmaster if he can audition for a solo part
-He agrees, a little sceptical bc he’s never heard Jeongin sing properly before, and boy is he SHOCKED bc he has a really good voice ???
-Everyone is outside the audition room and are genuinely surprised that their resident youngest is good at singing??
-Jeongin goes to Chan’s apartment after choir practice BEAMING and chan’s like,,, what happened???
-I got a solo part in the concert at Christmas
-tIME FOR ANOTHER CELEBRATION
-HYUNG DO WE HAVE TO?
-YES IT’S TRADITION
-Chan treating the boys no matter how small or big their achievements are? Of course he does,,, it’s a good job he gets money from producing money or else he would be BROKE
-Another thing about Jeongin
-He volunteers at the local vet to help look after the dogs
-Jeongin cuddling with puppies after they have had a flea shot or something??? A CONCEPT
-He loves all of the animals and all the clients love the soft boy and they’re like,,, oh you must be doing a vet course
-And he’s like oh no !! I just like to volunteer here bc they needed someone to help them!!
-A pure boy I’m crying
-He mainly works at the reception bc he’s not qualified to be in the practice rooms but that also means when it’s not very busy he can go over and pet the animals (if their owners let them which they always do bc how can you refuse Jeongin anything) and it’s just very soft
-One of his favourite clients is this woman who has a pregnant golden retriever who comes in for checkups weekly bc her dog isn’t the best condition health wise and Jeongin gets sad whenever he reads the file when he’s booking the appointment
-However,, the owner lets him hug her dog and Jeongin cuddling a golden retriever?? I’m sobbing
-Like imagine a smiley Jeongin with his arms wrapped around the dog’s neck and she’s really happy bc Jeongin is just the softest boy and she’s wagging her tail happily and everyone in the reception area is dying at how cute the image is
-One time Jeongin found himself cross legged on the floor with the dog’s head in his lap whilst he was cradling a puppy and his supervisor nearly scolded him but when he saw how serene the two animals were he softened bc he’d never seen them so calm in the vets
-Jeongin,,, why didn’t you choose to study veterinary you’re so suited to it?
-Easy, I failed biology and chemistry,,, I’m just not good academically
-After the woman’s dog gave birth to seven healthy pups she actually offered Jeongin a job to walk the puppies once they were old enough
-Jeongin lost his collective marbles bc being paid to walk dogs??? His favourite animals in the world?? He nearly cried but told the woman he would do it free
-She refused bc he’s too good with the dogs and she wanted to reward him bc he wasn’t being paid at the vets
-He nearly cried when she paid him for the first time and was like ma’am it’s not really worth this much!!!
-She just replies by ruffling his hair and telling him to go and have fun bc he’s just a kid
-Jeongin uses that money on new art equipment and Jisung is like,,, is chan giving you an allowance smh favouritism
-Jisung calm down I actually have a job
-You,,, have a job??? Omg how did a child get a job before me??
-Hyung,,, you earn money bc of 3RACHA ?? just bc you spend it all on Cheetos or something doesn’t mean I do
-You little sh- WAIT what even is your job?
-I walk dogs
-That’s so pure I can’t be mad
-That’s how you actually meet Jeongin, when he’s walking the dogs
-You’re just chilling in the park with your book bc it’s a really nice day and ur like,,, well it’s time to enjoy the sunshine before midterms roll around
-You’re lying down reading your book when something wet is nosing at your hand and ur like WTF IS GOING ON
-You pull your book away from your face and ur greeted with a puppy??
-I mean,, ur not complaining bc it’s a cute puppy and before you know it the puppy has jumped on you so ur just like,,, this is my best life I’m living right now
-You’re worried tho bc this puppy must belong to someone so you try and take a peek at the collar but it just bites your hand playfully and ur like,,, the betrayal
-After about 10 minutes of playing the puppy falls asleep on your lap and ur like f r i c k what do I do now
-You contemplate calling the vet bc you really don’t know what to do with a lost puppy?? And you know the vet is close by and normally take in lost pets
-You decided that it was the best course of action and are looking up the vet’s phone number when you see a figure with about 6 other dogs on a leash calling out a name
-You breathe a sigh of relief and slowly pick up the puppy and began walking up to supposed owner
-Jeongin,,, on the other hand is S T R E S S E D
-How could he lose a puppy so easily??? I mean when you’re walking 7 of them and they all have a lot of energy and pulling you in different directions,,,, it’s understandable
-However it’s been 15 minutes and he still can’t find the puppy so he PANICS and is frantically searching the park calling the pups’ name when a stranger walks up to him cradling the puppy
-Jeongin is RELIEVED bc omg the puppy is back and he tries to scoop the pup into his arms but you know,,, his hands are pull with six other leashes
-You laugh watching him try and struggle and he BLUSHES
-Ur like,,, oh he’s CUTE
-“It’s okay, I can help you if you want. This little rascal fell asleep anyway and the others look like a handful”
-“Y-you want to help me? B-but you don’t know me?” jeongin is very confused
-“Of course I want to help you! It must be very difficult to walk 7 over hyper puppies I’d love to help you”
-Jeongin just flashes you a big grin and oh no he has braces and a gummy smile and ur like F R I C K call the ambulance
-He hands you two of the leashes, warning you that it might be difficult to control them
-You just laugh again bc,,, how could it be THAT difficult to walk two puppies and hold a third
-Answer: very difficult and oh my life how does this mystery boy do it you think as the pups are nearly pulling your arm out of your socket
-Once the pups tire out a bit, you and Jeongin finally get the chance to talk
-You find out his name, his major and u can’t help but admire the fact he volunteers at the vets bc it’s so cute
-You’re also shocked that he’s not studying veterinary bc he seems so natural but once he enthused about Picasso ur like,,, ofc this boy is an art major
-You also introduce yourself and he’s in awe at the fact you study pharmaceutical science bc,,, wow that must be so hard you must be like a genius or something ??!?!?
-You just blush hard bc hello,,, a cute boy just called you a genius ?
-You protest saying that it’s not that much and it’s really boring hahah
-And he’s like no!!! it’s really cool like you’re literally going to be able to save people’s lives in the future that’s awesome
-You blush again and Jeongin’s like,,, oh I got over enthusiastic about it :( and suddenly the clouds have covered the sun and ur like why are you sad???
-He’s like,, I scared you off didn’t I?? I’m sorry if I got too into your subject :(
-Ur just in shock bc,,, no one has ever showed interest in your course before so you’re just in shock bc u don’t know how to react
-You just protest and say that it’s okay,,, no one ever really pays attention to my course they’re just like heh drugs but like,, ur being all nice about it it’s ,,,,, nice
-Suddenly the sun is back bc Jeongin smiles and asks you more about it
-As your describing how the heart reacts to different types of drugs, you and Jeongin had reached the lady’s house and you’re handing the dogs back to her n ur kinda sad bc,,, you probably won’t see Jeongin again
-BUT he walks you back to your dorm and is like,,, thank you so much for helping me even though you didn’t have to!!!
-Ur like no problem !! maybe we can do it again it was fun!!!
-Jeongin’s ears flush and he just nods, giving you his phone number so you can arrange another day to walk the dogs
-You and Jeongin meet at least once a week, sometimes more if the weather is nice and you’re not busy with lab stuff and the two of you walk the pups together
-It’s just really soft and sometimes you go and get ice cream together
-Why can’t I help you walk the dogs?
-Jisung hyung,,, you’re nearly as bad as the dogs
-I’m offended
-The two of you grow closer, bonded by the dogs, and you could say,, it’s puppy love (I shall see myself out)
-It’s just,,,, the two of you look so adorable walking the dogs together and occasionally eating ice cream it’s so cute?!?!
-One time Jeongin wiped ice cream from the corner of your lips and you couldn’t look him in the eye for DAYS bc you were so embarrassed but Jeongin just found it adorable but also H E C K why did he do that I must be a fool
-A lovesick fool Jeongin
-Yes,, he had developed a little crush on you and it was the sweetest bc he would pay for your ice cream or give you his jacket if it got a little cold
-One time you came by to walk the dogs and u were running on like 3 hours asleep bc of ur lab report and Jeongin was like !!! no I’m walking you home rn no BUTS
-U just accept it bc ur so tired but everyone who’s on campus is like ?!?! PUPPIES AT 12 O’CLOCK BUT ALSO JEONGIN IS WALKING THEM AND SOMEONE IS WITH HIM THAT ISN’T HIS FRIENDS THIS IS NOT AN ALARM
-Some people do actually stop and pet the puppers but Jeongin is like excuse me sorry we have an emergency and grabs your hand, pulling you through the small crowd
-OoooOOOooH
-(also,, Jeongin holding your hand and 5 puppies leashes whilst you have the other two?? A talented boy)
-He walks you right up to your apartment building, sad that he couldn’t come in and make sure you were resting instead of studying but he had 7 puppies and animals were banned
-You text him the next day after you slept for a good 18 hours and Jeongin just spams you with smiley faces and heart stickers n ur like,,, hello is the ambulance I’m in need of medical assistance
-Jeongin is blushing bc why the heck did he send so many heart stickers to you
-But when you reply with even more,,, Jeongin full on BEAMS and Jisung is like,,, dude u good
-I’M FINE LET ME LIVE
-Anyway since that incident you and Jeongin text more,, and you even meet up outside of walking the dogs
-Like,,, you told him that you were working late in the labs bc you were doing some more research for your synthesis of simple drugs module
-So this cutie rocked up with some snacks and a hot chocolates from the campus coffee shop,, albeit he got lost bc why are labs so confusing ??? why is science confusing ??? this is why he failed science at high school lmao
-You are very shocked to say the least bc,,, no one has EVER bought you a drink before let alone to the lab when ur working
-U blush and thank him bc,,, how could u not he’s so sweet
-The two of you just sit there drinking your hot chocolates as he tells you about his day in the art department and how someone ruined their work by dropping into someone else’s palette of oil paints n they cried
-You were laughing bc jeongin has such an enigmatic way of telling stories that you couldn’t NOT laugh at them
-Also,,, he looked damn cute in his denim overalls and sweater that you just wanted to kiss his cheeks
-Little did you know,,, that jeongin too thought you looked really cute in your lab coat and a pencil behind your ear bc you looked so professional ??? but also had a bit of cream on ur upper lip from the hot chocolate
-He just giggles and leans in to wipe it off
-The both of you just freeze bc,,, H E C K
-You just think,, screw it and swoop in to kiss his cheek and he nearly damn DROPS his hot chocolate bc that was so cute
-“Maybe,,, we should go on a proper date at the weekend?” you ask him shyly
-“YES!”
-(He stays with you whilst you finish your lab stuff off and he’s in admiration as you’re concentrating and he thinks it’s really cute,,,, pls protect him)
-DATING JEONGIN:
-So,,, you two are literally the campus sweethearts ?
-Like,,, you’re both always just shyly walking across campus together and everyone is like wow look at our children go
-When Chan finds out that you’re dating he literally cries bc his youngest son is grown up and Jeongin is like,,, for the last time I’m not your son
-You just giggle into your sleeve as Chan pulls him in for a hug whilst Jeongin is like mOM GET OFF
-Speaking of skinship,,, the two of you are very to shy to initiate it at first and it takes like weeks before Jeongin works up the courage to hold your hand in public
-Not that you were much better bc u were nervous as heck bc what if he didn’t like it but little did you know he was trying to psych himself up for it
-When he finally did u were just a smiley blushy mess and he was no better
-Since that day tho, Jeongin LOVES holding your hand
-He literally never lets go of your hand at any point if I can help it,,, it just makes him so happy ?? The feel of your hand slipped into his makes him smile so much
-The feeling of your fingers tangled together, no matter how tight or loose, fills him with so much giddiness that one day ur like Jeongin why do you like holding my hand so much
-And he tries to explain but he cant quite articulate it properly, setting on “it feels nice and I feel so,, warm and happy” and you just giggle, tightening your grip on his hand
-Cuddles,,, at first were rare but the more comfortable you got you can bet that Jeongin initiates them a lot
-Jisung gets jealous when he sees the two of you huddled up on the sofa, your head on his shoulder and hands interlocked bc when will Jeongin cuddle me
-Jeongin just flips him off and continues to cuddle you
-Chan, somewhere on campus: did,,, my son just swear???
-Yeah he’s just a cuddle bug around you and he loves to be backhugged by you bc he can play with your hands and you get to smush ur face into his shoulder it’s very soft
-He especially loves it when you backhug him whilst he’s in the art studio when he’s sketching or painting something,,, just give him warning otherwise he WILL jump and nearly ruin his artwork as you learnt one day oops
-But he just feels so serene and relaxed as you rest your chin on his shoulder and your arms settle around his middle
-The two of you go on so many cute dates as well??
-Like,, there’s a dog café opening up near ur uni and jeongin is like,,, Y/N do you wanna go and pet some dogs and maybe hold hands and ur like,, jeongin we do that nearly everyday but sure where are we going
-He just drags you to the dog café and you spend literally the whole day there hugging dogs and drinking probably overpriced smoothies but who cares,,, the dogs are cute (but u think Jeongin is cuter but don’t tell him that or else he will tackle u and say that ALL dogs are cuter than him) and you get to spend all day with your boyfriend ???
-Jeongin also snaps many photos of you cuddling the dogs bc you look so happy and cute surrounded by so many dogs that he couldn’t resist
-He uploads his favourite ones to Instagram and all the boys are posting extremely cute comments bc our jeonginnie is all grown up and his partner is so cute :’( :’(
-You meet the boys in the park one day bc Jeongin is like,,, u have to save me bc otherwise they will attack me with cuddle
-You agree but are like,,, ur fine with me attacking you with cuddles
-He’s just,,, Y/N ur my significant other you are ALLOWED to cuddle me and,,, I like it when u cuddle me
-You just giggle and grab his hand as you walk to the park
-They’re an interesting bunch to say the least,,, Jisung threatens u in case u hurt his baby n ur like !!!!! but jeongin reassures you that Jisung can’t hurt anyone he’s too small to be frightening it’s seungmin you have to watch out for
-You’re shocked bc Seungmin looks so nice ?? and pure??? Until 10 minutes later Hyunjin throws a bottle at him and Seungmin full on launches his textbook at him and ur like nvm I see what you mean
-Chan and Woojin sit with you and Jeongin and they ask you about how the two of you met, and what you study and stuff
-You’re a bit overwhelmed but Jeongin helps you out and is holding your hand tightly so u feel safe and Chan’s like pure love but also,,, u don’t have to answer out questions if it’s too much we just want to get to know you better!!!
-And ur like,,, it’s fine I’m just a little nervous bc everyone is so,, loud??
-Woojin just apologises for them and says u kinda get used to it once you spend more time with them
-And you do, bc they always invite you out when they do stuff and suddenly the loud volume is normal and u don’t mind it anymore
-You and Jeongin do study together though,, with being in such different majors it’s kinda difficult
-Though you can always be found in an empty art studio as Jeongin is painting on a canvas and ur sat surrounded by diagrams of the heart and cardiovascular system and everyone’s like,,, this is odd but it’s cute we support 10/10
-Jeongin likes to help you study by testing you on different terms and you think it’s really cute when he mispronounces words and tries to blame it on his braces but u both know its bc he has absolutely no idea how to pronounce oxidoreductases but he tried his best okay
-He got a little pouty when you laughed at his pronunciation of haemoglobin so you had to kiss his nose and cheeks in order for him to forgive you and he was just a blushy mess when you pressed a further quick peck to his lips UWU
-Jeongin, despite not liking drawing portraits, loves to sketch you and in particular,, your back profile
-That way,, he didn’t have to worry about your face and could sketch the backdrop as well
-One day you were on a date in the park and you were sat reading your book whilst Jeongin had his sketchpad out
-He began to sketch you bc you looked so perfect and Jeongin couldn’t quite believe you were his that he wanted to immortalise it on paper and on ur 6 months he gave you the sketch and you cried bc it was perfect
-(You got it framed and it’s now hung up in your room and every time you see it you just smile bc it reminds you of all the good things in life)
-You and Jeongin were just the cutest couple that everyone dotes on a lot
-One time,, you both wore matching dungarees and sweaters and circle glasses and you walked onto campus giggling, holding hands and EVERYONE collectively awed and Chan even snapped a photo of you two bc you both looked so happy and in love that he had to wipe a stray tear from his eyes
-He sent it to Jeongin with loads of happy faces and Jeongin was like,,, hyung ur photo skills aren’t the best but somehow,,, it looks good I’m gonna thank Y/N for significantly improving this photo thanks hyung
-No problem son :)
-Jeongin frames it and keeps a copy in the back of your phone so you both have a copy of it and wow ur so adorable
-The campus sweethearts are just the cutest I’m crying
THE END IS HERE IM SO SAD i loved writing these aus so much i can’t believe it’s over!! this series is a big thank you to our first 100 followers and hopefully,, here’s to all our new followers who are here and support us we love you so much and we hope you’re happy and healthy 
(also,, happy 100 days with stray kids!!!)
Much love <3 <3 <3 <3
[edit: we just hit 200 followers?! im crying i love you all so much!!!]
[edit 2: this is completely irrelevant but also kind of relevant bc i just passed my second year of college and im extremely happy!!!]
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merlinthoughts · 5 years
Text
Season 1 Episode 2 - Valiant
- ik for a fact that this one is the episode with the asshhoole. not bc i recognised it from the title but perhaps it was because i recognised it from the title u got me there
- i always go to mr clean too when i want protection, val, ur not alone
- yeah, this is harry potter l ma o
- the next thing u know theres a stone that makes arthur live forever and the snakes start joining into one and growing bigger until a phoenix (im dibbing on kilgie here), pops their corneas out
- DAMN DON'T KILL UR DEALER WHERE U GONNA GET THE NEW SHIT FROM NEXT TIME SMH VALIANT
- okay but who names their son valiant
- he was probably named valerie and didnt like it so he said “woah imma be valiant like courage, thats sick”
- that was probably his superhero persona as a child ngl
- no, shev, no respect for val stop doing this
- merlin in armour, what a fucking bLESiSNG GIVING ME THIS RIGHT ON THE SPOT BBC KNOWS WHATS GOOD
- ok a y but hear me out, merlins a servant. i have not seen any of these servants been asked to train with the royals??? like in the sense where it helps the servant train as well?? and the FIRST thing arthur does with merlin as his servant is train with him. not only is arthur a huge JOCK, he’s not using his manservant properly
- neverfuckingmind “most servants collapse after the first blow”, so it seems to be arthur likes to train with his servants. now that in itself is a question to be asked, but is he the only royal who trains with his servants??? how did this man survive on his own without a personal servant until merlin??? did he have a personal servant??? was it just regular servants?? who are those other servants he trained with??? did arthur just say hey lets go to the field in the morning, put on armour and let’s have a fun time?? UNLESS merlin literally just took someones job away from them kmao
- also my mind went right to the gutter guys, ngl, it sounded like an innuendo. it had me quaking i wish i was one of those servants
- “we all have our duties, even arthur” “it must be so tough for him, all the *hesitates* girl, all the glory”
- so we probably get at least 1 out of every 2 episodes where there’s a scene with merlin dressing arthur in his armour. bring the popcorn, lads.
- MORGANA LOOKING LIKE A FRICKEN SNACK
- the reigning champion is arthur, wonder fucking w h y
- valiant is in fucking mustard, while arthur is fucking ketchup idk why i thought of that but it happened. my literature teacher always told me to look for symbolisms. guess we found one guys.
- merlin after hating on arthur for the past episode is literally just cheering arthur on like a good husband he is
- did ARTHUR JUST SNICKER AT MERLINS “CREEP” LMAO DON'T TRY AND HIDE IT BY HUFFING AT HIM AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING GOOF
- omg he hid it by telling merlin to do a full novel of chores
- AND MERLIN DOES IT WITH MAGIC A PAIR OF GOOFS
-  “are you using magic again” “no” merlin ffs he just saw you use magic, while the items fell and landed right in front of him while you didn’t move at aLL. they are nOT BLIND
- “very aggressive style” I MEAN SURE UTHER
- valerie be fuckboying morgana lmao with a “i saw you watching” and a, “then i will give everything to win the tournament”
- i wish this show was set in the early 2000s so i can see val in low sweatpants, a backwards cap with gelled spiky hair and cheap neon sunglasses (maybe even some gold teeth just for kicks), while hes trying to rap 50 cents or make a mixtape of brit pop songs. bc yes.
- honestly im loving my 2000 fuckboy au. gonna make an ao3 after this.
- of course merlin would be the one to find out the magic shit in valiants room, it just lures him. AND OF COURSE VALIANT IS THERE
- i'm so fucking glad arthur looks confused as to how merlin did what he asked. when u have this kind of hubby, arthur, its amazing what things he can do.
- i dont know why theres dramatic music as merlin put armour on arthur but im living for it
- “is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?” merlin doesn't know what to say to that bc he’s turning gay and doesn't know if that counts as enjoying oneself when the one you are gay for is the asshole prince
- typically enough, valiant and arthur never fight except for the finale. like with all conveniences in place, youd expect them to have at least fought at some point with as much knights as there to determine the final two but no, just the finale. k.
- this poor fucking purple knighted bloke didn’t need to be fucking demonstrated on, val. like you didn't need to kill him?? that could have blown ur cover
- DID NOBODY SEE THAT??? DID NOBODY SEE THE FUCKING SNAKES???
- oooh merlin found out what happened everyone gonna be fucked. nobody harms arthur is he has something to say about it
- if someone starts off a sentence with “i just saw someones snakes on their shield come alive” nobody would fucking believe you, merls. but given the fact that magic exist… mhh maybe it wouldn’t be too absurd. but ppl apparently are thick as hell
- “why were you in his chambers” well i know how id explain if i was in valiants chambers ;)
- jk i dont fall for this toxic shit
- imagine getting paid as an actor just just lie down there like this poisoned kid. “yeah, id like to audition for ewan’s role???” “why are you lying on the ground?”
- i hate those tropes where it's like “i know how to tell someones bad, here’s proof” and then nobody believes you and tells you you’re lying and should die or whatever but then you kNOW IT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH BITCH that trope gives me damn anxiety >:((
- yes merlin, fucking slash the shield with your sword. i'm sure that's how it works. im sure it will kill the snakes.
- HOWA RE THE SNAKES ALIVE WITHOUT VAL SAYING “ISHNAHASHAHI”
- i think val would know that you cut off the snake’s head, merls, just saying. ur were the oNLY ONE.
- TELL ARTHUR WHAT??? “I CUT A SNAKE”
- EXACLTY ONG THAT'S WHAT MERLIN FUCKING SAID I WAS RIGHT LMAO
- ARTHUR BELEIVED HIM I'M FUCKING LIVING BUT IK WHAT HAPPENS AND AHH
- uhhh the anxiety is rolling up boys
- ewan is mcfuckingdead
- snake be sliding in like a hoe on a business
- bfehfjdjfskf i hate this part
- arthur's pride, merlin’s pride, fuck me
- i'm not even gonna write this part, it breaks my fragile heart when arthur sees the look of people not believing him, especially his dad, and merlin seeing how arthur doesn't trust him anymore like prepare the eulogies girlies
- okay but if arthur is struck and gaius has the antidote?? arthur aint gonna die technically
- but now val knows merlin knows
- AND MERLIN INTERVENES
- why are royals so bitchy towards servants. like they do their best to help you??? they are loyal to you and are paid there to serve you and are often very kind, generous, passive, understanding people??? yet merlin interrupts uther and he fucking sends him to the pit
- VAL YOU ASS LMAO DON'T HURT MY SON’S PRIDE
- he said allegations like four times, yes uther we know ur vocab is shining with intellect but seriously, there’s other synonyms that could still be acceptable and still sound fancy
- quick search on google bc my mind doesnt roll fast enough: claim, assertion, charge, accusation, declaration, statement, contention, deposition, argument, affirmation. see daddy uther, not hard to look up.
- forget they didnt have internet whoopsies
- :((( arthur doesn't trust merlin anymore
- the husbands FIGHT
- not just a banter petty fight, this is a huge fight
- SACKING MERLIN DON'T FUCKING SACK MERLIN YOU GOOF
- TRUST UR HUBBY
- FUCK
- I'M GONNA CRY AND IT'S ONLY EPISODE TWO
- I'M HAVING EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS CONCERNING MY TWO BOYS
- GUYS IM NOT OKAy
- its been 2 minutes after i wrote that last sentence, and i am now okay
- “a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole” iconic as hell. so many things could be said about that quote. either for innuendo purposes, love purposes, destiny purposes, how long it took me to say it right, just so many purposes man. it’s just iconic.
- merlin looks absolutely done with kilgaharama’s shit
- “just give me a straight answer” seems like kilgarass here is being too gay for merlin
- gwen already knows merlin’s the heroin of the series, saying everyone knows it's merlin who will save the day. but same tbh
- i dunno if this is like me or not but it says her nickname is gwyn in the subtitles but im typing it as gwen which i thought was how u wrote it, even if her full name is gwynevere but like gwen has a ring to it while gwyn sounds like gwin or smth and i dunno which one is right so ill just leave it alone ahjsjfk
- MORGANA HAS VISIONS WE ALREADY KNOW WHERE THIS GOES SHES MAGIC ISNT SHE HAHAHAHAUHD
- merlin trying one last time to convince his husband not to die, but at least this time arthur knows he’s up for val’s magic and is like “k iloveyou but i have to do this for the country not just bc of pride and thinking val is not magic”
- staring into the fire like he’s hoping it would suck him up into the void, not only is merlin a now confirmed emo, so is fucking arthur it seems. perfect for one another i'm telling you
- eerie music as morgana enters… wha suddenly i can't read
- i thought at first morgana and arthur were gonna end up together cause of the fucking weird tension going on and i was prepared to be disfuckinggusted but no! the show and producers actually put my expectations away and helped me see that it wasn’t going in that direction! thank fucking god! 
- k but arthur looks majestic in his gear im just a huge bi
- “don’t go into my room” he says then gaius peaks in and almost gets mauled by a large chihuahua
- me too val, id step on someone's toes then fuck them up with an undercut. thats the bad bitch way to go. unless it for arthur, then val hahaha you can go fuck yourself
- no one sees mErLin??
- but they now see the snakes smh fakes
- “what are you doing? i didn't summon you” i don't think that will work val cause you didn't say it with a serpent tongue, it has to sound more like “shhashhwhat ahhssare hiisssyou iisshhaadoing?”
- okay but i thought arthur was impaled for a half second until he started to talk then i screamed that he was aight and he would now believe merlin
- uther better give merlin an apology
- arthur just said he wouldnt
- but still uther BETTER APOLOGISE TO FUCKING MERLIN
- “yknow i wish valiant was escorting me” “me too” i thought for a fricken moment arthur wished valiant would have escorted HIM. i'm dying.OMG
- “i wanted to say i made a mistake. it was unfair to sack you.” “don’t worry about it. buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU JUST SAID MERLIN YOU SLY DOG OMG
- “i can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” so if he wasn’t ur servant?? you’d say yes?? they are so fucking gay i can't anymore
- yeah, i literally fucking can't
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ofphcenixes · 5 years
Text
BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001
texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm
blue
hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them
libby
i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird
blue
i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd
libby
don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you
blue
ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it
libby
i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess
blue
fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future
libby
no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho
blue
im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.
libby
god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal
blue
u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol
libby
i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?
blue
ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?
libby
fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.
blue
do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol
libby
don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted
blue
why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else
libby
hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.
blue
oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib
libby
night
blue
its 6pm lib but okay night
blue
lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah
libby
it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine
blue
i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah
libby
i guess i'll go. i like pacman.
blue
if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.
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