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therhythmafterthesummer · 9 months

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I've come to ask something from you bc I kinda see you as a mom on Tumblr (and I mean that in the most respectful, honorable way) just bc your fics are top tier quality and I just think you're so fucking cool.

I'm a writer myself, I have over 1k followers (I know it's not much) my top post has almost 2k notes, I have more than I think 3 posts over 1k notes (not boasting this is genuinely with a purpose) but all my latest fics don't go over say like 200 notes. I've tried softer fics, more smutty fics, more thorough, less thorough, I've changed the way I write and still nothing gets me as many likes as I used to get before. So now I'm thinking I was just a one hit wonder?

I even stopped posting and only dropped fics every now and then bc I thought I was annoying people and that's why my likes dropped? But I gain like over 10 followers a day so I really don't understand.

Basically what I'm saying is, I've been considering leaving Tumblr bc of this, because I just feel like I've gotten too greedy and 200 notes isn't enough, I want more like I used to get. I've even become fearful of requests bc I constantly think is this one even gonna make it. I'm talking about spending 7 hours on a fic just for it to get like 50 likes, that's devastating and fucking heart wrecking. I have writers block because I just repeat to myself that it won't even make it so what's the point.

So I've come to ask for your advice, to ask if you think I should push through, or leave, or what should I do bc I just don't know anymore. I'm sorry for the lengthy message I've just been needing advice and I couldn't think of a better person to ask than you.

Thank you for taking the time 💕

not you calling me a mum and cool, pls skdjfskdfjhsfd i'm warm.

okay, first of, i'd like to say 1k followers is a lot ! at least in my perspective. when you imagine how 1k people look like in a room it's certainly a lot hahah. if it eases your mind, i'll tell you that our numbers are pretty similar, at least the ones you described.

with that being said... here's what i think, and it might not really be what you want to hear. mind you, this is 100% just my opinion, and how i personally view this hobby of writing fanfiction. other people might have different opinions to mine, yourself included, and that's fine...

if you're writing with numbers in mind, you'll never be satisfied with anything you do. whenever you set a target audience for your writing that isn't yourself, you start losing the joy. it all becomes a spiral of 'is this good enough?' 'what if this doesn't gather an XYZ amount of notes?' rather than what the story really is about.

notes never ever determine how good a story is. i've seen stories with notes around the five digits that i personally didn't find particularly enjoyable, whereas stories i absolutely adored and made me feel a plethora of emotions still sit within the three digits. it's all subjective, and also a bit of luck. sometimes all it takes is a blog with a moderately sized following to reblog your story on main for that story to blow up, really.

if you're writing solely for the validation that notes can bring you, that's valid, it's fine, but it's, in my opinion, something that is bound to make you question your own passion (like it seems to be happening to you right now). it's a completely volatile and unreliable source of energy, and the moment it starts wavering, it all feels worthless (even when it isn't).

which is why i, personally, write because i just... feel like it. i want to read the stories that pop up in my head, it's why i always mention the 'little lizard' in my brain, because i genuinely just work on what i want to work on and that's it. it's also why my creative process doesn't work for "requests". if someone requests something that doesn't immediately spark my interest, i won't be able to fulfil it, so i'll be both bummed out by that fact, and the fact that i can't give the person what they requested in the first place.

ultimately, i'll write stories even if i don't post them, because i enjoy them. i enjoy doing this. i choose to share them with the world, and if there's people out there that enjoy them, too, that's great, it's amazing! and if a story isn't particularly popular, that's okay, too. it was written for me, and i loved it, so i already feel accomplished.

all this to say, my advice to you is that you sit back and start thinking about why you're doing this.

writing takes time, takes energy, and if you're doing it for anything other than the pleasure of writing and reading the story yourself, it's gonna weigh heavily on you. creativity isn't something that can be forced. so, if you force yourself to write something just because of the numbers it might bring, you're already setting yourself for heartbreak when the engagement you receive isn't the one you expected (because it's never enough. when you spend hours working on something you feel like you deserve a million notes, and you do, but it's not how this platform works, unfortunately). you'll end up just resenting the hobby in general, and burning yourself out because you're forcing yourself to write even if you don't feel like it, just because you want to see the numbers grow.

whenever i feel too tired, too overwhelmed, and too insecure about my work, i try to take a step back and give myself grace. i went on hiatus a while ago because i was starting to obsess over the numbers too much, and that time away made me realise all the things i said above. numbers aren't a direct reflection of your work, nor your worthiness as a writer, you know?

i'm not sure if this will be helpful to you or not, i genuinely hope it is. just know that if you feel like it, my DMs are open if you want to talk about this further (:

#this is so fucking long i'm so sorry #anon #ask

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matan4il · 2 years

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I've been a silent fan of you and your metas/opinions/AO3 for quite some time (but with a different blog) and I just.. wanted you to know how happy and excited I get everytime your notifications pop up for me. Like, srsly.. after every 911 ep I keep updating my tumblr just waiting for you to show up. Everything you write is an absolute masterpiece!! Many Kudos to you!! And thank you for.. everything!! sz

Hi Lou! This is just absolutely so sweet, just know, I am giving you the biggest possible CUDDLES! And you like my fics on AO3 too? I am honestly bawling. I haven't had the possibility to write in a while, so I'm delighted to know that the fics I have completed and shared still matter to people. THANK YOU! You're honestly too kind, but I'm so very grateful for this kindness, I wish I could do something to make you as happy as you did me! I hope that I can continue to share things you enjoy! Sending tons of love your way! xoxox

And I hope it's okay to add this equally lovely ask here -

heyy :) just wanted to thank you for your weekly buddie meta on the new episodes! since my country has only released the first 3 episodes of season 5 (episode 4 will be released tomorrow) i am way behind lol but i don't care for spoilers (the first scene of 9-1-1 i ever watched was eddie getting shot xD which lead to me spending around 10 months thinking the dude had actually died and because of this refusing to get into the show, imagine my surprise when i found out he had survived) anyhow, your meta is to me basically a short little summary of all the most important stuff that happened in the episode, so thanks for that! besides that i also get some quality meta of course which is also very much appreciated <3

Awwwww, hi lovely Nonnie! I am SO happy that I can help you! *HUGS BIG* I don't know if you might be interested in watching the eps online? I know it can be nerve-wrecking to wait that long for new ones. And I'm so happy my posts can offer both a kind of summary, at least for the Buddie content, as well as offer some insight. It's just so kind of you to let me know that what I do helps you, and I am sending lots of love your way! xoxox

I hope you both know such lovely feedback and support makes a difference, every single message I get is one that I treasure and hold close to my heart. It’s the reason I came back to do the s5 meta and am continuing it every week, so know that your words matter! <3333

(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)

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starleska · 2 years

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i'm not even being patient, you simply respond to all of my asks more than quickly enough <3!! they're pretty long so again, take your time ^^!! therapy can be sooo exhausting so please remember to take care of yourself nd everything <33!

i was talking about a TOTALLY different old man HAHAHA i've been watching a lot of ducktales 2017 and grew fond of both scrooge n flintheart through it lmaoooo,, especially the latter has very few redeeming qualities and is supposed to be insufferable but like,, im in love with the blorbo version of him that lives in my brain, LMAO

ohhh you just know he would REFUSE to do the animation if anyone else was obviously watching the screen as well- it's just for you <33! i imagine he wouldn't do it either if you're recording it, because he wants it to be only for you haha,, you think very hard about the unlock conditions for the specific animation but it seems completely random! oh well. (totally self indulgent note here but i am silly in public for a living and would totally blow a kiss back @ the animation or smth LMAO) and!!! ill look forward to seeing it!!! id reblog it but i only rlly have writing blogs on tumblr ughhhh maybe i should just finally make a selfship ramble one lol

the true sadness is that king candy never showed up in the second movie man </3 the chaos he'd wreck on the internet would've been very much entertaining LMAO !!! i'm glad you enjoy the phone idea as well :D!! you just randomly find notes from him in your tumblr drafts or your notes app! he'd be constantly watching you through your front camera and if he's unhappy with someone he sees, your phone will just start vibrating VIOLENTLY nonstop lmao. also something silly i immediately thought of; i don't know if this is something you're familiar with but in some dating sim apps you'll have like this little minigame where you can like poke the love interest and they'll have these little responses? god. brainrot. i would just poke his bald little head man HAHAHHAHAH

my asks just get keeping longer thank u for reading all this and hearing me out TT i should just write a little fic about this guy already but man english is NOT my native language and he speaks in a pretty specific silly way sometimes that i do not know how to replicate well,, doesn't help that ive only watched the english version once vs. the many other times ive seen it haha

hello again you lovely individual!! once again i must apologise for my delayed response. i received some pretty big news this week that's left me not so well, and i wanted to come back and reply properly when in a better frame of mind. thank you for your patience 🥰

OHHH oh my god you are so damn valid for this, i always thought Scrooge was kinda fine 😳 capitalists just hit different! and Flintheart is a GILF i'm not gonna lie 😂😂 Ducktales 2017 just gets you by the throat!! i remember being so head over heels for Gyro Gearloose (basic bitch that i am)…kind of interested in rewatching to see if another bastard catches my attention…but for real, isn't it wonderful when you love a truly dreadful character? whatever version you have of him in your head, i'm sure he likes you very much 😉

ahhh i feel all special 😖💖 honestly going a little down the darker path i kind of vibe with Y/N questioning their reality the more time they spend noticing these special animations…wondering if they're losing touch with their sanity, and becoming gradually more obsessed with figuring out exactly what it is about this arcade cabinet and its enigmatic, unique character…also hell yes!! you should absolutely make the selfship ramble blog, it'll make you feel so happy 💖💖 i admire those of you who can separate your blogs out, i just pour out my silly loves into one place and all my poor followers have to deal with the blorbo of the week 😂

we'll never recover will we 💔💔 like for real Ralph Breaks the Internet makes me sad for its lost narrative potential…if not King Candy, then there were several perfectly good character candidates to be put into a fantastic antagonistic role!! to truly show the power (and horror) of the internet!! the vibrating phone idea is so cute dfgfds;;; perhaps he could even track into your friend's social media and send them fake messages/texts to get them to leave. oh YES i knew someone very into…was it Mystic Messenger? that had that mechanic and oh it's adorable :3c

thank YOU for sending these lovely asks in and gushing about our favourite sweet-themed hacker!! i'm so sorry for being a boring monolingual person - you could and should totally write him in your native language!! do you have any clips? i love seeing how characters have been portrayed in different ways, and i'm curious if Alan Tudyk's lisping mob boss vibe has been carried across 👀

#starleskasks

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lazyconfessionscrazyintentions · 3 years

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🤖

#we love the shitty quality wow #*chefs kiss*#self #my face #imagine tumblr not wrecking quality #I’m just gonna end up deleting it realistically #iron maiden #Friday nights #inked girl #pierced girl #short hair #side shave #lgbtq #I can’t wait to move man this bathroom is gettin😬😬old #red hair #glitch #grain aesthetic

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meowzfordayz · 2 years

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love language(s) — himejima gyomei

Author’s Note: my thumbs are not green. 🥀 Gyomei would be disappointed in me... can’t keep a plant to save my life. Actually: if my life were on the line, then prob would survive — my competency isn’t that horrid. Other than that drastic scenario, however... rip any plant placed under my care. 😵

love language(s) — himejima gyomei

Himejima Gyomei x Reader

Word Count: ~1,800

CW: mild sexual content

Request Fulfilled: hello hello! may i request some gyomei hcs :> like,, what would be his love language/s [giving and receiving] hehe thank you!!

~faqs~

Giving

Hold up

Physical touch

Quality time

Gift giving

Verbal affirmation

What’s the fifth love language again ?? Trying to recall from memory…

AHA!

Acts of service (should be “5.” but tumblr formatting’s picky af)

So I must confess that I haven’t read any KNY manga 😬

Which means my perception of Gyomei is from the miniscule amount of screentime he got in s2 plus any fanfics about him that I’ve read

That being said, I feel like Gyomei gravitates toward giving Quality Time and Verbal Affirmation

Altho the softie in me *technically* imagines all the Hashira as cuddle bugs (albeit some more highkey than others) I am not touch starved tyvm Okay maybe just a little 😕

Gyomei just strikes me as particularly simple

Not like, simple in the noggin 😶

Just

Simply spending time together

And constantly announcing how splendid you are

He’s not into flashy gimmicks *cough* Tengen *cough*

I see him as someone who deeply values his alone time

Mind you, being alone on missions is different from having undisturbed time to oneself, ya feel?

Not to mention: it’s gotta be, to some degree, mentally exhausting to be moved to tears all the time — even when the tears are happy ones

So like, this man needs loads of time to decompress

And prob seeks out lower stim environments when socializing

At the very least, he’s gotta suffer from dry eyes

Have you ever cried so much that your eyes hurt?

Now imagining crying a lot

I presume eye drops exist in Demon Slayer?

If Shinobu can regrow Zenitsu’s limbs, then eye drops must be canon 😤

Welp, Gyomei definitely has a vial of dry-eyes-be-gone on him 24/7

I’m getting sidetracked

Himejima Gyomei’s the guy who’d rather read a book in bed with a mug of herbal tea vs go out with the other Hashira for drinks

And by other Hashira I’m thinking mostly Kyojuro, Sanemi, and Tengen (Mitsuri only goes when Shinobu does, and vice versa)

Initially, you’d be hesitant to encroach on his alone time

He’d never exactly uninvite you, but he didn’t necessarily invite you either

Until one day when you semi jokingly remark while returning from a joint mission, “Gyomei-san, are we even romantically involved? We hardly do anything together. Unless you count fighting demons?”

And suddenly, he’s inviting you to practically everything he used to do alone

Book in bed with a mug of herbal tea? He wants you there ✅ Begins stock piling your favorites

Morning meditation? Invitation sent ✅ Whether or not you wake up in time to join him is entirely up to you 😴

Watering his plants? ✅ Begs you to come along, which, you almost regret bc he has sooo many plants and it’s stiflingly humid in his greenhouse yes this man has a private greenhouse, author makes the rules and he takes foreeevvverrr to water them bc, “They each need 30 seconds of water, 3 times. Okay, [y/n]-san?” buuut he’s a cutie 🌻 so mostly you just feel honored that he trusts you to care for his plants

As much as he enjoys being deployed on missions with you, he does not consider fighting demons to be quality time 🙄

You lowkey wrecked him asking if y’all were “even romantically involved” bc ?? 😭 He adores you ?? 💖 Cherishes you ?? 💗 Loves you ?? 💝

You’d literally sent him in a tizzy

“What if [y/n]-san breaks up with me?” Oh wait 😐 They don’t even know whether we’re together

Dw, he wasn’t frustrated by you

Mostly just distraught at his own lack of recognition that you needed ✨attention✨

P.S. The morning after your fateful remark, you’d awoken to a letter slipped under your front doorstep inviting you most affectionately and hopefully to join Gyomei for an evening stroll 💌

Srsly tho

He has the time to water a bajillion plants on the daily

—Logistical plothole here what with frequently being away on missions: I’m aware 🙃

—But that’s what hiring gardeners is for 🤗

But the most important plant was wilting before his very own eyes and he didn’t fricking notice ?!?!

You’re his prettiest-flower-that-isn’t-a-flower

Ofc, he doesn’t douse you with water

He douses you with thoughtful compliments

Exhibit A: “The color of your haori truly highlights the gentleness of your eyes.”

Exhibit B: “Your fingers are so elegant plucking the dead leaves from my hostas. Thank you for pruning them with me.”

Exhibit C: “Your laughter is a butterfly’s wing against my cheek — so light and tender, and capable of granting me endless joy.”

He douses you with encouragement and pride

Exhibit A: “Thank you for cooking dinner [y/n]-san. You’re doing a wonderful job! I’m sure you won’t overcook the rice this time.” And if you do, then he’ll try his best to only cry a little, just for you

Exhibit B: “I’m so impressed you beheaded that demon before me, [y/n]-san! May I watch you train sometime? It’s been a while since we sparred, and I believe I could learn a thing or two from you.”

—He really didn’t let you have it

—No, really 😌

—It was all you baybee 🥳

—Okay so he might have accidentally absolutely unintentionally moved a tad slower than you so you could reach it first

Exhibit C: “I know it hurts, [y/n]-san, but I know you can handle it.” this will remain appropriate, unfortunately “A wayward sprain could never restrain your resilience and spirit.”

—He still cries as you hobble around adorably, then cries bc he just wants you to okay, and cries some more bc he gets to scoop you into his arms and tuck you into his bed — the injured must rest!

And most annoyingly significantly, he douses you in nonstop-when will it stop-plsmakeitstop-he really doesn’t have to continue feeling so guilty about it reassurance of your romantic involvation I don’t think “involvation” is a real word oops

Exhibit A; Random Day | Random Location | Random Time: “Do you know who my romantic partner is, [y/n]-san?” he smiles widely. You sigh. “You are, [y/n]-san! You are my romantic partner.”

Exhibit B; Random Day | Gyomei’s Greenhouse | Early Afternoon: “Do you know what romantic partners do, [y/n]-san?” he leans down and pecks the top of your head cheerfully. You groan. “They nurture nature together! And [y/n]-san — we nurture nature together!”

Exhibit C; Random Day | Gyomei’s Bed | Nightfall: “Do you know what the worst part about having a romantic partner is, [y/n]-san?” he murmurs softly, bookmarking his page as he angles his body to face yours. You lay your book aside as well, quietly placing your hands over his. “It’s knowing there could never be enough clothes, rope, string, anything, to escape the depth of your devotion to them,” he pauses, struggling to collect himself, “But that is also the best part. You are my partner, [y/n]-san, and I am devoted to you.”

—

Ahhhhh

Gyomei, devoted, to you

His time spent, on you

His words spoken, to you

What a gem 💎🥺

Receiving

Time to give myself emotional whiplash transitioning from that bucket of fluff to another bucket of fluff

—

Imo, the language that screams GIMME the most for Gyomei

… as in, he’s screaming “GIMME” 😂

Is Physical Touch

Except he’s actually suuuper bashful about it

And never screams for it

—That’s his job

—To make you scream for it 😳

—That was an attempt at what I’d hoped would be a hilarious innuendo

—Guess not ☹️

It took you a while to figure him out

He doesn’t exactly shy from your touch

More like melts into it ☺️

But the only physical touch he’s naturally comfortable asking for is… 🥁🥁🥁

Holding hands 🤝

Beyond holding hands, Gyomei relies on you to lead the way

Creating a sort of catch 22, because you try your best to be cognizant and respectful of his upbringing

Which, his upbringing ≠ Physical Touch

Usually, you initiate touch in bed

Not like that

Yeesh

I already told you this will remain appropriate, unfortunately 👀

You initiate touch in bed, away from curious eyes, immersed in the soothing glow of cerulean and lavender lanterns — hand painted by you and Gyomei

Toasty, sweet aromas of sobacha and kuromamecha tea cling to his olive green kakebuton, a gift from you to him “just because”

As the moon peers above the horizon, you’re tentative, knee leaning lightly into his thigh, your arm barely skimming his, the turning of pages floating pleasantly between you

Sitting in his bed, beside him, because he wants you there, is achingly meaningful

You move like honey as the moon ascends, a brush of your elbow against his ribcage here, a tap of your fingertip on his hip there

Not teasing, not seducing — easing him into your closeness

The pressure of your knee leaning on his thigh increases and increases, until he gently murmurs, “I’d feel very happy if our legs were fully touching.”

When the moon reaches and rests at its highest point, you press your mouth delicately to his shoulder

Gyomei’s focus wavers, book falling from his grip to his lap, a low, contented moan vibrating in his throat

“Another. Please. [y/n]-san. Touch…”

“Touch, Gyomei-san?” you smile tenderly

“Mm…” he doesn’t elaborate

Doesn’t have to

You have him figured out

“How does this feel?” your fingernails scratch faintly along his jawline Mm

“And this?” you playfully flick his ear Mm

“You’re warm, Gyomei-san,” your body adjusts itself Mm

Taut as you stretch to kiss the corner of his eye

Familiar as you exhale slowly, breath leaving a quiet trail of goosebumps from his cheek to his neck to the edge of his collarbone; your fingers wrap reassuringly around the strength of his wrist, lifting his palm to your nose; you nuzzle cutely, nipping at his callouses; then, you grip his hand with both of yours, his fingers straightening as you peep at him through them

“May I?” you whisper

You release his hand, sleepily settling further into bed, rolling onto your side

So casually, so safely, you tuck yourself into his sitting form, hugging his nearest forearm to your chest as you pull your knees up

—This is how you fall asleep, clinging to Gyomei

His heart hums, a constant, mellow bliss

As he picks up his book, and continues to read

…

Before you even ask-

Yes, he fumbles his book every so often

It’s hard to read with just one hand holding (the book) AND turning (the pages)

#gyomei himejima #himejima gyomei #gyomei x reader #himejima x reader #stone hashira #headcanons #kny #demon slayer

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knickynoo · 3 years

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Hi! @/chickenmcfly1 here, I can’t actually send asks Bc my blog is a sideblog and idk how to work tumblr lol, but I realized I’d never sent you an ask even though I feel like we’ve rambled a lot on each other’s posts and I appreciate your takes so much so here’s one. What do you think the new 2015 McFly family is like? What is Marty like as a dad and what are jr and Marlene like (do they have the same names?) Etc. Have a good day!!

Yes, we do ramble on each other's posts a lot, don't we? And I think I've sent you a couple of asks at some point, so now that you've sent me one the cycle is complete. 😆

McFly fam 2015:

Marty is psyched to be a father (he's also very nervous, but mostly he's excited), and he's an emotional wreck when the twins are born and cries because he's so happy.

Jennifer, despite having gotten that look at the sad, dysfunctional version of her future family in 2015, feels a lot of hope as she and Marty really begin their life together. She's confident that she and Marty have grown enough as people and will make the right choices to help make a bright future for themselves as a family.

Though by the time his kids are born, Marty's had several years in his updated, more stable family, he's still obviously been shaped by his upbringing in the old timeline. As such, he's very focused on raising his kids with love, support, and encouragement. He protects them, but also allows them to try new things and experience the success and failure that comes with it. He corrects and guides them, but is careful not to be overly critical because he knows what it's like to feel like you're being put under a microscope and having your shortcomings pointed out.

Jennifer loves being a mother, and I can see her wanting to stay home for a while when the twins are young and just devoting her time to being with them. She takes them on outings to expose them to different experiences, has them in playgroups with the kids of her friends, and sets up all sorts of cute routines for them at home (afternoons where they do crafts, bedtime stories, etc).

Marty often fills the house with music. He writes and sings songs for the kids from the time they're born and has special songs for both of them.

Idk if I have many specific ideas on what Jr. and Marlene are like, but I do think that Jr. would be somewhat different than what we see in the movie. He's still shy and sort of discombobulated and easily flustered (takes after his dad that way), but he's not a complete pushover or easily manipulated/bullied by others. Marty and Jen, being much more involved in the new future, model to Jr. from a young age how to deal with those situations and stand up for himself. Plus, having parents who are in a healthy marriage and are overall happy really helps him to not be so anxious.

There's a draft of pt II where Marty (our Marty) is upset to discover that Jr. is in a remedial school, and while I don't like the way it's handled in the draft and am glad it was cut, I actually like that detail in general and am gonna insert it into the future I imagine for them. Mainly because I want to imagine future-Marty not being at all ashamed that his son needs help academically/has a learning disability, and instead being a father who lovingly supports Jr. and wants to do all he can to help him be successful.

Marlene is very independent from a young age. She definitely "mothers" Jr. to the point where Jen sometimes has to be like, "Um, hey. Hi. Yeah, I'm the mom, ok? Go and color or something."

Marlene and Jr. have their own lives and friends, but when it comes down to it, they're each other's best friend. They have all these weird, elaborate inside jokes that leave Marty and Jen scratching their heads because they just have no clue what is going on or what their kids are talking about.

Overall, the McFlys are a tight-knit, loving family. Marty and Jennifer create a wonderful life for themselves and feel happy and fulfilled. They never forget what could have been (and almost was) though, and it makes them all the more thankful for the choices they made and the way they've stuck together through the years.

SIDE NOTE: Doc is also very involved with the McFly fam because I said so, and also because his medical overhaul adding 40 years to his life allows him to continue to be around for a long time. He's known as Uncle Doc and Marlene and Jr. LOVE when he comes to visit because it's nonstop chaos and fun and he brings great presents. Although, they are a little confused as to exactly how old he is and try over the years to get a straight answer and figure it out but never can, so they eventually just accept that it's part of the mystery of Uncle Doc.

Thanks for the ask! Hope you have a good day too! Also, thanks for the quality responses you always add to my posts. =)

#back to the future #bttf #asks

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misterywaren · 3 years

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My Chaotic Reread Of Cdth

I’m rereading Cdth and the emotional roller coaster I’m on has me going on Tumblr and ranting as a read, hopefully someone can relate.

SPOILERS!!! MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS!! (Disclaimer: It’s long)

All quotes belong to Call Down The Hawk By Maggie Stiefvater!

Welcome to today’s session of “I’m a train wreck of a reading person”!

“Lock tapped the time of Nathan Farooq-Lane’s death into his phone.” Pg 10

Dangerous dreamers, fun. Killing your own sibling with an obsession with blades, so much fun.

“Ronan Lynch was about to end the world.” Pg 11

Rereading this makes me laugh, it’s so funny that one POV is like “Oh no we have to find the Zed who wants to end the world asap” and meanwhile insert Ronan Lynch: I’m about to end the world. Slow down Lynch, we’re only on chapter 2 and I haven’t had my sip of coffee yet.

“Ronan missed him like a lung” Pg 17

Idk man, this is what I call quality romance, if you don’t miss your lover like a lung you’re doing something wrong.

“Please.” Pg 32

If you know, you know.

“You smell like home.” Pg 35

My heart, awe

Okay, when RONAN DOESN’T MENTION NOAH, I HURT. For real, I read those theories dhuiehuefhefuheui

““Don’t kill anyone.” The words were only an excuse to breathe in Ronan’s ear; it made a marvel of his nerve endings.” Pg 39

ADAM YOU FLIRT-

*reads the fight-not a fight part* *closes book* *walks out the front door* we’re gonna buy Adam Parrish a cup of self-worth. (Pg 44)

“I want it too much.” Pg 46

....and murder crabs

“Now who’s the little bitch?” Pg 73

Ah, yes, the moment I fell in love with Hennessy.

“Nightwash” Pg 76

Okay, ngl when I first read this my mind was like: mouthwash Now I’m like: The name is perfect

“Is there any version of you that could come with me to Cambridge? No” Pg 76

jwhdjshsbhjfv

“You are made of dreams and this world is not for you.” Pg 77

Oh you- ~ The text messages between Ronan and Gansey are wholesome

“DBAG LYNCH” Pg 87

*Cackles*

Chapter 12 really changed my perspective of Declan and let me tell you, I came out of this book wanting to hug the hell out of Declan-

“Jordan imagined flinging herself from a roof and flying” Pg 101

The moment I fell in love with Jordan ~ Parsifal- I- <3

“Bryde, they said” Pg 128

Meanwhile, my brain: Here comes the Bryde

“The orphans Lynch.” Pg 135

*tears* ~ Declan and Jordan = Yes (Pg. the whole book) ~ Tbh when Gasey asked if “Badass” was two words or one, I spent 15 minutes thinking about that- but that’s just Gansey, he says something, sends me to question mark nation and then monologues, love him. (Pg. 161) ~ OH MATTHEW YOU INNOCENT I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT’S COMING FOR YOU- (Pg 160) ~ PARSIFAL T-T (Pg 166) Carmen...ah (Pg 179) ~ Chapter 28: HOLD ON, HOLD ON ~ PARSIFAL T-T (Pg 195)

““I saved your life because I love you and I was scared [...]” “I know you.”“ (Pg 204-206)

Yes, that’s all, yes ~ Tyrian purple (Pg 214) ~ YES DECLAN HAPPINESS, H A P P I N E S S (Pg 231) ~ *Insert Adam* *Insert Ronan* *Insert kisses* *Insert my happy tears* I’ll never tire of this scene, never, it’s so, you know? (Pg. 235-237) ~ *insert scrying* *insert scream* there has been a disturbance in the force *insert Ronan holding Adam* disturbance has been demolished (Chapter 39) ~ *insert Adam leaving* :( *insert Adam stalling* :D *insert Ronan feeling alone* :( *Insert kisses goodbye* :D (Chapter 41)

“You are the most expensive thing I have ever saved” Pg 267

And this is the moment where I stared at the page for 5 minutes just loving this line ~ *Insert Ronan saving Hennessy* "THAT’S MY SON!” I yelled into the abyss/at my bedroom wall. (chapter 44) ~ *the matthew scene* You know the first time I read this I was in class and I was sobbing. No matter how many times I read it, I die, can someone stop me from throwing myself out a window? Please, it hurts. (Pg. 312) ~ *the matthew to ronan scene* Hahahaha haha ha *channels inner Neil Josten* I’m fine, totally fine, didn’t have my heart ripped out of my chest, NOPE (Pg. 316) ~ Chapter 56, I bow down to you, you’re amazing. ~ When Ronan said “my boyfriend” I screeched. (Pg. 357) Ha..WERE GOING ON A TRIP TO OUR FAVOURITE MAGICAL FOREST, SOARING THROUGH DREAMS, IT’S GONNA BE FINE. (What am I doing?) ~ P A R S I F A L (pg. 364) ~ Declan “in case you don’t have internal organs” Lynch. (Pg. 371) Ouuu plot twist (Pg. 373) ~ Living for awkward Declan, you know? ~ Chainsaw and Opal, thank you for gracing me with your presence (Pg. 393) Give the girl some time Lynch, she’s scared (Chapter. 67) ~ (chapter 69) Sing it with me guys “Something good is happening, that can only mean we’re about to get our hearts broken! ay!” THE PAINTINGS- Oh Declan, hun, you *hugs book* it’s okay, I’m sorry, I love you. ~ The dogs, yes Ronan, yess (pg. 428) ~

“Tamquam. It was marked unread.” -Pg. 458

Ahahah, didn’t need my heart anyways ~ I reached the end and here I am again yelling at the book to give me answers and crying, it’s great to be alive. ~

Wow you’ve made it to the end (or you scrolled and scrolled and here you are, hello). Hope you enjoyed my rant and reread of this book, I’m a mess, I love this book so much. I loved The Raven Cycle as well and I can’t wait for the next book in this trilogy. Have a wonderful day and stay safe guys! *whisper hisses* MAY COME FASTER

#cdth #ahahha I'm a mess #while reading this book: *vocal keysmash* WUHDUWDH #call down the hawk #how I managed not to swear during this rant-I never knew I had this talent #ronan lynch #declan lynch #hennessy #farooq-lane #matthew lynch #i'm dead #cdth reread

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insfiringyou · 4 years

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Young-Soon (BTS girlfriend series- Jungkook)

Introducing our headcannon girlfriend for Jungkook! Young-Soon is six years older than him and works as a secretary for a PR firm in Seoul. This picture is loosely based on the fic where JK helps her to move into her apartment and he spanks her here.

This picture completes our series of individual drawings of the girls and how we imagine them and are currently working on a ‘fact file’ post for them which hopefully will be uploaded tomorrow if you want to know more about them.

You can find the full size HQ upload on our deviantart page. Tumblr really wrecks the quality so we highly recommend you view them on there!

Artwork is created by Admin N of this blog, and as each girl is very personal to us, we ask that you do not use our images for your own headcannon, thank you!

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM / Jin / Suga / J-Hope / Jimin / V / Jungkook & Our full masterlist can be found here

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lesdemonium · 4 years

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Into Nightfall (chapter 3)

Rating: M Words (so far): 11,209 Chapter: 3/? Summary:

Nilfgaardian insurgents do not want the treaty between Cintra and Nilfgaard to take place, so Geralt, a witcher bodyguard-for-hire, is reluctantly hired to escort Princess Cirilla across the continent to expedite the signing of the treaty. What should have been an easy-enough contract keeps getting more and more difficult, though, especially when Geralt is forced to ask for help from those he has wronged in the past. Calanthe tapped her fingernails on the thick, solid wood of the arm rest, thinking hard. Geralt could see her mouth moving in a silent conversation as she considered her options, and then she stood, a decision made. “Fine, Witcher. I remain skeptical at best of the intelligence you have brought me. But I accept the terms of your wager. You will attend the banquet tonight as a guest and tell no one of your true intentions. And in the morning, when I am right, you will leave Cintra and never return. Do we have a deal?” Calanthe strode forward, holding out her hand to Geralt. chapter summary: Jaskier still managed to make Geralt sound just as heroic and brave as he always had, but Geralt couldn’t help but notice they were dulled, somehow. It took a few stories for Geralt to realize that the words lacked all of the adoration Jaskier usually filled them with. They felt empty, somehow, which in turn left Geralt feeling much the same. chapter 1 on tumblr | on ao3

Geralt was pretty sure they ended up exactly where they had made camp the night before. That was only at his insistence that they keep going to at least land south of the Cintran castle, because they had to waste time to hunt after none of them had a meal at the tavern.

Traveling with Jaskier was strange. Elements of it were familiar, like the endless chatter that after a while started to feel relaxing. Even the familiarity of it had a hard edge, however; Jaskier would not talk to him. Twice Jaskier had told Ciri a story and Geralt corrected him, only for Jaskier to barrel on as if Geralt had not spoken. At first, he wondered if he had only thought it, rather than said it outloud (when he traveled alone, sometimes his thoughts felt like words he had spoken), but the way Ciri turned to him both times reminded him that, no, he had said something. Jaskier had ignored him.

After the second time, Geralt took the hint, but it didn’t hurt any less. He didn’t correct Jaskier further.

Jaskier and Ciri got along like a house on fire, though. A few times, Geralt and Yennefer shared a look of relief as Jaskier startled a laugh out of the princess. Ciri pressed Jaskier for story after story, starting with her mother and father--Geralt noticed that Jaskier left out how much Ciri’s grandmother played a role in her father’s almost-death--then moving on to his travels. Often, of course, Geralt came up. Jaskier still managed to make Geralt sound just as heroic and brave as he always had, but Geralt couldn’t help but notice they were dulled, somehow. It took a few stories for Geralt to realize that the words lacked all of the adoration Jaskier usually filled them with. They felt empty, somehow, which in turn left Geralt feeling much the same.

If anyone else noticed the change, however, no one said anything. Ciri hitched herself to every word of Jaskier’s, and leaned in so close she was soon holding fast to Jaskier’s arm to keep herself upright. Jaskier basked in the attention, though he often cast the light back on Ciri, giving her space to tell her own stories. Though she did not have the same skill with language as Jaskier did--her stories had a bit of a meandering quality, with entirely too many set-up details--she did have a talent for turning even the most banal stories into an adventure. Geralt even found himself hiding small smiles at her tales of trouble-making. In another life, in a few more years, she would have made an animated traveling companion.

Even Yennefer joined in from time to time, and though Jaskier tensed whenever she spoke up, he did not cut her off as he did Geralt. He did not share his space with her as freely as he did Ciri; rather, he handed Ciri’s attention to her as if it was a precious thing he was safe-guarding, and just barely trusted Yennefer with. If it bothered Yennefer, she did not show it. Then again, she wasn’t in the habit of giving a rat’s arse what anyone thought about her, and she certainly wasn’t going to start now.

By the time they finally settled to make camp, Geralt had to admit he was relieved. He could lead the party back south in his sleep, and setting up camp at least was slightly more demanding of his consciousness, allowing him to drown out the sounds of Jaskier and Ciri talking without him.

Geralt had barely started untacking Roach, though, when Yennefer touched his shoulder. “Let’s talk,” she said softly.

Geralt held back a sigh, but allowed her to lead him away from the bard and the princess. They didn’t go far--Geralt did still need to keep an eye on Ciri, after all--but they went far enough to avoid human ears overhearing. Once they stopped, Geralt raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“I’m leaving,” Yennefer started, and though Geralt wasn’t surprised in the slightest, it still filled him with dread. At least having Yennefer around provided a bit more of a buffer. “It’s no secret that this isn’t exactly my idea of a good time, and let’s face it, you and Jaskier have more than got this under control. My presence only sets Jaskier more on edge.”

“Seems he’s going to be on edge either way,” Geralt grunted.

“Work on that,” Yennefer admonished, crossing her arms. “I’d suggest you start doing more to fix this, or you all will have a very long few weeks ahead of you, if today is any indication.” Ah. So she had noticed. Geralt bristled slightly at this--hadn’t he been trying to extend peace offerings all morning before he finally gave in? “Jaskier almost refused me. And you cannot afford to lose him with this particular assignment. If for no other reason than Ciri will never forgive you. So be a man and fix it.”

Geralt huffed. “How exactly do you expect me to do that if he won’t talk to me?”

“I’m sure you can figure it out. You traveled together for years; surely you know some way to get back in your bard’s favor.” Her hand waved dispassionately, and she turned back toward the others.

“Yen.”

She waited, but didn’t face him.

“What if I can’t?” Gods, he almost wished he was having this conversation with anyone else. Yennefer was important to him, there was no doubt about that. But she wasn’t exactly… touchy-feely. Geralt didn’t think he was touchy-feely, then his voice had to come out sounding so wrecked.

Jaskier would have been a good person to talk to about this. It was too bad that was out of the question.

“You will,” came Yennefer’s reply, and she walked back off to the camp with finality.

Geralt took his time returning to the campsite. He brought back firewood, as if that was what had held him up, but really he just didn’t want to see Jaskier’s face when Yennefer said she was leaving. Jaskier had never cared for Yen, that was for certain, but apparently in his hierarchy Geralt had officially found a spot below her. He couldn’t imagine Jaskier was glad to see her go, only to be left with Ciri and Geralt.

By the time he came back, Yennefer was making her goodbyes. Her arms were around Ciri and she was stroking her hair and whispering something Geralt could only catch snippets of, though it seemed to be a warning about traveling with “idiotic men.” They pulled away from each other presumably after Yennefer finished her counseling, and Yennefer turned to Jaskier. Their goodbye was far more awkward. After a moment of just staring at each other, they both nodded.

Geralt snorted at this exchange and everyone turned their attention back to him. “Thanks for the help, Yen,” Geralt said, setting to work on building the fire.

Yennefer trailed her fingers over his shoulders as she walked by. It was unnecessary--this side of the campsite was no better for summoning a portal than the other one, but Geralt appreciated the small goodbye all the same.

“Try not to need me too much,” Yennefer said, before disappearing on the other side.

The camp was silent long after Yennefer left, aside from the soft noises of Geralt setting up and Jaskier quietly strumming his lute. Just barely hearing a tune being played was strange--usually Jaskier would play however loudly he was feeling, even when faced with an admonishment from Geralt about alerting any possible beasts to their location. Geralt found he had missed the sound, and longed for Jaskier to play louder, almost enough to ask for it. Almost.

“Now we go to Nilfgaard?” Ciri asked, though her voice lacked the tone changes to indicate a question. Maybe she didn’t actually care to know the answer, and only wanted it to stop being so quiet.

Geralt hummed and, with all his tasks finished (even a few that he probably didn’t need to do right at that moment, like repacking the saddlebags) sat down across the fire from Ciri and Jaskier. “Yes. No more errands north.”

Jaskier looked up at this, his eyebrows furrowing as he first regarded Geralt, then Ciri. It was a quick gesture, and then he was curled back over his lute, working his way through a soft melody.

“You two traveled together. For how long?”

Now Jaskier’s fingers hesitated over the strings. Geralt could sympathize. If they were moving into a conversation about Geralt and Jaskier, this was going to become extremely tricky for Jaskier to navigate without acknowledging Geralt. To not reply would only raise more questions.

“A long, long time, princess,” Jaskier finally mumbled.

“And how long has it been since you’ve seen each other?”

“About a year,” Geralt answered this time, and now Jaskier looked up at him. From the grimace on his face, Geralt was pretty sure Jaskier was thinking about their last argument, and this time Geralt broke eye contact first.

“Why?”

Nosy girl, Geralt thought bitterly, but he couldn’t actually fault Ciri. Clearly something had happened, and now Ciri was stuck between the two of them. If Jaskier was going to continue acting like this the entire time they traveled together, Geralt had half a mind to leave him in the next town. Without Yennefer, they would be able to slip by far more undetected, anyway, so they didn’t exactly need him anymore. Even if Yennefer seemed to think that Jaskier was important to the success of his job, Geralt didn’t necessarily agree. Geralt had been bodyguarding royals for longer than Jaskier had even been alive. He knew how to do this.

Then again, even while Jaskier was being a shit all day and Geralt felt as if he was on his last bit of patience with the bard, he couldn’t deny that he felt, overall, calmer. As the day had worn on, a knot of tension in his chest had been slowly loosening, only to be replaced with a new one. He wanted… what did he want? Something. He wanted something here to be different. More familiar, and less of this uncharted territory, where nothing he did could cause a reaction in the bard. More adoration in his stories again. The ability to sit next to Jaskier and touch him or tease him, and expect that Jaskier would not only accept it, but throw it back onto him.

Geralt realized, belatedly, that there was an awkward silence hanging over them. He only realized when Jaskier stood up, just barely catching his lute, and stalked off in the dark. Geralt watched his retreating form, wondering if he should go after him, before realizing that, no, he couldn’t go after the bard. If he did, he would be leaving Ciri alone. Jaskier could handle himself.

“I hurt him,” Geralt finally answered, his voice low as he looked back at the fire. “It’s late. We have a long day tomorrow. You should rest.”

Jaskier didn’t come back for an hour. Geralt was starting to worry if he would come back at all; maybe Yennefer leaving had spurned him into action to leave himself, deciding that whatever Yennefer had said to convince him simply hadn’t been enough to put up with Geralt. Geralt didn’t relax until he heard familiar footsteps coming back to camp.

“Welcome back,” Geralt whispered, and apparently startled Jaskier, because his steps faltered for a moment before continuing on to his own bedroll.

The only sound for a long time was Ciri’s deep breaths and the soft mumbling she let out every so often in her sleep. Geralt, the tension in his body finally settled to something more manageable now that Jaskier had returned, laid down on his bedroll. He had only just begun to think about sleep when Jaskier finally spoke.

“When I warm up to you tomorrow, don’t mistake that for forgiveness.” Jaskier’s words were flat, emotionless. Geralt wondered, absently, how long he had to steel himself and practice to sound that way. Or maybe it just came naturally to him now, where Geralt was concerned.

“I won’t,” Geralt answered. And this, at least, felt like something.

#the witcher fanfic #the witcher fanfiction #geraskier fanfiction #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #jaskier x geralt #my writing

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asra-n-faust · 5 years

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This is what i imagine the vesuvian sunsets are like every night

(tumblr has wrecked the image quality yet again)

#vesuvia #the arcana #the arcana game #sunset #mine #photography #julian devorak #asra alnazar #portia devorak #lucio #the arcana nadia #the arcana muriel #faust

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ramblingguy54 · 4 years

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26, 29, 30, 36?

*cracks knuckles*Alright, let’s do this.

26: The late Robin Williams & Hayao Miyazaki are two particular people in my life I’ve idolized for what happiness/imagination they’ve brought into others lives. Robin Williams untimely passing still hurts for me to look back on because this man made it his mission to bring so much joy into other peoples lives through his acting on the big screen, whether it was dramatic or comedic. That’s what I found the most impressive about Robin’s range in acting. He could be an over the top funny individual, but Robin’s acting chops were in a league of their own. Whether he was behind the microphone having the time of his life as Genie on Aladdin or giving a powerful dramatic performance on Good Will Hunting as Will’s therapist, I could feel the unconditional kindness. There was something about Robin’s acting power that would usually manage to reel me in. Even if I never knew him in real life, obviously, this man just radiated with so much kindness that I felt from his entire presence on screen. It’s seriously unfortunate what became of Robin Williams in the end with his unexpected death, but his legacy has inspired me to be kinder to others in real life. As for Hayao Miyazaki, this guy is a huge factor in why I got into loving anime related stuff all the more, as his creations in storytelling and the art itself for the movies were beyond unlike anything I still have yet to seen be topped quite frankly. It’s so easy for me to get emotionally lost in his films like My Neighbor Totoro, Princess Mononoke, Castle In The Sky, and Spirited Away. This man never ceases to amaze me with how usually impactful and in depth his films are. They’re so full life that it’s easy to lose sight of whats happening in the actual story at times. Mayazaki understood how to breathe a ton of humanity into creating such resonating works of fiction. Have a much greater appreciation for them in my adult years. There’s a reason why they inspired companies, like Pixar, to create immersive stories of their own.

29: Favorite films range from Zootopia, Wreck It Ralph, M. Night Shyamalan’s Unbreakable, Aladdin (1992), The Secret Of NIMH, The Lion King (1994), The Incredibles, UP, Ratatouille, Wall-E, Finding Nemo, Inside Out, Kung Fu Panda 1 & 2, How To Train Your Dragon Trilogy, Toy Story 1-4, The Great Mouse Detective, Lilo & Stitch, The Emperors New Groove, A Goofy Movie, Good Will Hunting, The Fox And The Hound, The Land Before Time, The Brave Little Toaster, Frozen, Shrek 1 & 2, Coraline, Paranorman, Kubo And The Two Strings, The Muppets (2011), Princess Mononoke, Castle In The Sky, My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Spirited Away, Porco Rosso, Summer Wars, Beauty and the Beast (1991), Winnie The Pooh (1977 & 2011 iterations.), The Peanuts Movie, The Princess And The Frog, The Jungle Book (2016), Scooby Doo On Zombie Island, Harry Potters’ 1-7, Christopher Nolan’s Batman Trilogy, Wonder Woman, Sam Raimi’s Spiderman 1 & 2, The Black Panther, Thor & Thor Ragnorok, The Avengers, Avengers Infinity War & Endgame, Spiderman Into the Spiderverse, Captain America Trilogy, Iron Man Trilogy, Star Wars Episodes 4-8, and The Breakfast Club to stop this list from getting any longer. =P

30: Favorite TV shows range from Cowboy Bebop, Avatar The Last Airbender, Yu Yu Hakusho, Digimon Adventure 01 & Tamers, Teen Titans (2003), Batman The Animated Series, Ed, Edd,& Eddy, Samurai Jack, Courage The Cowardly Dog, The Powerpuff Girls (Screw that garbage reboot.), Chowder, Bojack Horseman, DuckTales (1987), DuckTales (2017), Gravity Falls, Code Geass (This series has shaky writing in a number of areas, but that ending was beautiful.), Amphibia, Steven Universe, Oban Star Racers, Made In Abyss, Stranger Things, Gargoyles, My Hero Academia, Naruto (I’ve got a soft spot for this series despite my MANY problems with its story later on.), Pokemon (Serious nostalgia overload!), Dragonball Z (My very first anime series I got into through the Toonami block. A real shocker I know. LOL!), Gurren Lagann, Kill la Kill, The Promised Neverland, Death Note, Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers, Sonic SatAM, Talespin, Darkwing Duck, The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy, Robot Chicken, A Pup Named Scooby Doo, Kim Possible, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, and Fullmetal Alchemist (2003).

36: My three dream scenarios I’d like to fulfill?

1: Become A Voice Actor

Been interested in voice acting since I was a young teen, but have been in a conflicted state over these recent passing years in my life on whether or not I’d like to approach that route. There’s a lot of commitment I’d have to put into auditioning my butt off for roles I may or not get. Then comes the consistent practicing to keep my vocal chords in shape, so I don’t get rusty whatsoever. The industry for this kind of job can be hard to get recognized in too by how many other notable well known VA’s there are already. Not to mention, from what I’ve researched up on being a voice actor doesn’t bring in the money naturally, as it’s more of a passion job which that’s terrific and all, but if I want to partake in this profession I’ll have to juggle a job along with that which putting all those factors in my head honestly makes me intimidated. Ahhh well, it’s just something I’ll have to wait and see on if I can make that idea into a reality or not. No need to rush myself, of course.

2: Taking Up The Mantle Of Reviewing Shows & Films For A Living

Fiction, just like for many people, has been a great deal of helping me in my life moments of stress, solitude, depression, and anger. I’d love nothing more than to further express that to anyone out there in reviewing in great detail certain films or shows that I’ve come to love over these years in my life so far. Mostly for animation though, as its been a gateway for finding many gems of quality films or series. It never ceases to surprise me on how creative and powerful animation can be with its inventive ways of getting me to become an emotional mess. While I do enjoy live action series and films they pale in comparison to the beauty animation has brought into my life, since my early childhood of watching shows on Cartoon Network, Toon Disney, and Nickelodeon to a smaller degree. I’d like to think I’m good enough with how I present my reasons on why I feel so strongly connected to these stories showcasing characters trying to find hope in their own hard times. I try my hardest to take moments of my own life and find ways to connect it with whatever story I’m getting into next, so it can be all the more a special experience for myself. It’s important to put whatever character resonates with you most in their shoes for why you feel their emotional journey connecting with your own life on every conceivable level possible. That will make it when you write these kinds of reviews a very empowering read for others to feel either heard in their own feelings or simply giving others a new perspective to consider on this piece of fiction you’re discussing. Seeing some of my own particular analytical posts in the past here on Tumblr garner some attention from people gives me a boost of feeling better about potentially making this choice.

3: Starting A Family Of My Own…?

I can’t begin to tell ya how many times I’ve gone back and forth for getting married in the distant future to become a father has sped through my mind. On one hand, it scares the crap out of me to be taking up that big of a responsibility. However, on the other hand its deeply fascinated me emotionally of creating life through love for your significant other in starting your own family tree. I’d love to be able to raise kids of my own to pass on the lessons I’ve learned in life to make them become better people in the distant future, while showering them with unconditional love and affection. That would fill me up with such an indescribable joyous feeling to hear their own dreams and desires on what they want to accomplish in life. While I’d be a strict parent, I wouldn’t be a hard headed one quick to dismiss their own complaints if they had problems with how I handled things, once they start to get older. The kind of parent I’d want to be is an understanding open minded one who doesn’t judge their son or daughter for when they have an issue with me. Just because I’m a parent in that scenario doesn’t put me on a pedestal of immunity from criticism. Granted, I certainly don’t want to be a doormat for them to try taking advantage of either, but it’s also important to not let your parental role go to your head, too.

Although, I don’t plan on even trying to make this last dream of mine happen anytime soon. This is something that is MUCH later down the road that I wish to have happen. However, I won’t lie and say that I haven’t considered just staying content as a single guy for the rest of my life relying on close friends to bring me joy equivalent to this dream. While I adore the concept of creating life through love and being a father, there’s a shit ton of responsibility that comes with it. The life of a parent is not just putting your all into it. You gotta give more than just 100% when wanting to be a parent. It’s a serious test of your spiritual endurance, which I’m not sure is something I’ll ever have the courage to do, but then again things can change in life on the flip of a dime, so I’ll see how this all plays out for myself. Maybe I’ll stay happily single or I’ll happily be raising kids.

Gee, I wonder why this dream of being a parent resurfaced in my head recently this year? Oh yeah, it was thanks to this character here.

Seriously, Della Duck holds a real special place in my heart for making me feel these kind of feelings yet again. Darn you space mom! LOL.

Thanks for the ask, man.

#asks and answers #ask away #ask the rambler

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imacrowcawcaw · 4 years

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@oblvions @shes-outta-sight @lazingonsunday @karrotkate @satans-helper thank you all for the tags 💗💕

A buttload of info about me:

Last thing I read: "Lovers" by @satans-helper 😍😍😍

Favorite Book: The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle

Favorite Movie: Beetlegeuse

Dream Date: Imagine this: a nice, plush couch, covered in down pillows and fluffy blankets. There is a fire in the brick fireplace, the wood smoke combines with the scent of Nag Champa incense and the homemade treats that cover the low table next to the couch. There are brownies, bread rolls, cheeses, bowls of fruit, dipping sauces, cakes, sandwiches - a whole feast of my favorite foods. My partner and I would cuddle up on that couch, listening to my favorite symphonies on the record player in the corner and talking for hours. This isn't really a first date thing, more like an established relationshil date, but god I'd love to just spend an afternoon surrounded with my favorite things and my favorite person.

Do I have a crush?: Not really. There are people I find very very attractive (a friend, Sam Kiszka, Duff Mckagan in his 20s, Lucy Lui) but nobody that I'm actually romantically and sexually into.

Hobbies: Swimming, observing nature, browsing Pinterest, daydreaming, writing, reading, making art, singing, listening to music, love to cook

My favorite time of day: late afternoon, right before the sun sets. I'm usually free to do what I like, the temperature starts to drop, I can watch the sun... it's nice

If I could choose what I looked like, anything, what would it be?: I want tattoos, and more piercings, I'd love to change my hair color again - it's been natural for awhile but I think I want either burgundy or bright blue. WINGS! I kind of want giant, strong fairy wings, and maybe glowing eyes, a forked tongue, and tattoos that move and change (kinda like Maui lol)

Am I romantic?: Yeah, I'd say I am. I love to treat people, friends and significant others, but I'd be especially affectionate and romantic for a partner. I'm constantly buying gifts and things that remind me of them, cooking for them, planning dates and buying tickets for things I know they like, quietly taking care of stuff I know they need to do, cuddling, complimenting... I love to shower my partner in affection 24/7

My favorite kind of weather: Late Autumn, generally. About 55ºF, cloudy but not raining, windy

What do I like to talk about?: Lol I talk a whole lot and I've probably talked about everything at some point. One of my close friends and I particularly love to debate religion, mythology, magic, history, and the intersections of those. We also regularly plan heists and crimes lmao

My turn-ons: Long eyelashes, pouty lips, dirty hands (motor oil, paint, flour, etc), sarcasm, seeing someone get excited about something, compassion, casual physical affection

My turn-offs: Nastiness without a reason, knees (I just think knees look weird idk), Trump supporters, 100% pessimism (I understand being depressed or doubtful or being generally a pessimist, but if you adamantly refuse to see anything in a good light and try to ruin it for others f u c k y o u)

If I got a tattoo, what would it be and where?: ohhh I want tattoos so bad but I'm saving up and I'm not certain about some yet.... but I know that I'm getting a tree of life matching with my mom, I want mushrooms, pine trees, lavender, wildflowers (all for personal reasons). I'd also like to make maybe a charm bracelet of sorts with little charms for my favorite bands, books, movies, and other peices of media. I know that interests change and I might not like something in 30 years, but I see my life in periods of interests and I want to catalogue the things that shaped me

My pets: I have 3 cats - Pumpkin Pie, Lady, and Sweetheart

My dream job: I just want to live a free life doing what I want. I want to grow my own food for the most part, and raise animals, and paint, and write, and play music, and go on random adventures, go antiquing, decorate my home from my travels, learn without expectations - I don't want to exchange a fulfilling life for financial security from some mundane modern job.

My dream place to live: Secluded, in the forests of Oregon (or maybe Pennsylvania idk) on the bottom third of a mountain, on my own little farm

My dream vacation: I just wanna go explore historical landmarks and buildings

My dream house: A beautiful historical house -- like an 1870s American farmhouse, or a craftsman cottage, or a Victorian painted Lady, or maybe a New York brownstone -- filled with antiques and records and books and artifacts that I've collected. I LOVE antiques so much, everything would be of fine craftsmanship, it would be lavish and inviting and packed with interesting items at every turn (I want my house to be a curios shop lol) I also want a big ass kitchen and nice woodwork, I literally get horny over original built ins

My piercings: Sadly, I only have my standard ear piercings right now, but I think I'll get more soon. A nose ring, eye brow bar (yes I know that's so 2000s but I like them), probably 4 more on each ear, navel, nipples

If I had kids, what would I name them?: I love older, interesting names, so - Euphemia, Hartford, Monroe, Malory, Louise (me lol), August, Fredrick

My worst traits: I'm incredibly stubborn; I love talking to people but I'm awkward; lazy and don't care; I'm a bit of a collector/hoarder; I bottle up any anger or sadness I feel so I don't inconvenience others

My best traits: I love to give and help; I try to make people comfortable around me/in my home; I have excellent taste; I appreciate quality, culture, and creativity; I have many interesting interests that I'm eager to share and learn more about; I'm very creative

My worst fear: a painful death - I'm not afraid of dying, even though I'd rather not, I just don't want it to hurt

What do I want to eat right now?: Well, considering that I just ate my first bit of solid food in 3 days and immediately had to run to the bathroom... nothing

My favorite vacation memory: *blushes* my first kiss AND nearly my first time (we went like halfway): making out with this dude, son of my mom's friend, at my family cabin

My favorite city: I really don't know. Timber, OR, let's say

My favorite social media platform: Tumblr or Pinterest (does that count?)

My favorite article of clothing: My leather motorcycle jacket. I can't actually ride a motorcycle (trying to remedy that because *sexy*) but I got it a few years ago and it makes me feel so fucking badass. It's heavy, about 15 pounds of good quality leather, has lots of secret pockets in the lining and some cool looking zippers and studs, but nothing crazy. It's hella warm and comfy, I wear it everyday it's cold enough to

Do I play any sports?: pfft no. I like to swim, and I'm interested in baseball and tennis, but I suck at them and also I just don't like team sports

My favorite meal: What I order when I go to Buffalo Bills - a pesto/feta/mozzarella/Italian sausage/basil/tomato/garlic pizza, with homemade potato chips and chunky blue cheese dressing for dipping. If I had room, I'd finish with Marionberry cheesecake pie from Sherri's (but I am incredibly sick and have no faith in getting better enough so I feel like I'll never be able to eat like this again)

What am I excited for?: The winter holidays! I'm atheist, so Christmas is all about the personal stuff and non religious family traditions for me. I love the decorations, the music, seeing my family, baking, giving and receiving presents, it's all just so fun

What am I not excited for?: Cleaning my room, it really really needs it though. Also just continuing to live like this. I'm not suicidal, I'm just in a lot of pain constantly and I don't know what to do

When was the last time I cried?: an hour or so ago, I'm in loads of pain right now

What is something I hate about the world?: There's too much to choose from

What is something I love about the world?: children and nature

My favorite scents: vanilla, lavender, pine, Nag Champa incense, BBQ meat, pizza with basil, rosemary, my Dad's cologne

Cats or dogs?: kitties 💗

What kind of sleeper am I?: A weird one lol. I can't lay on my stomach for more than 15 minutes without it making me incredibly nauseous for the rest of the day, but it's also my favorite way to sleep cause its comfy somehow... I can't lay on my back without a pillow either, 30 seconds in and the nerves pinch so bad I'm screaming. I snore, and I sleep deep, but it takes a long time to fall asleep and usually only beeping or banging noises wake me up??? Like I said, I sleep weird

How long would I survive in a zombie apocalypse?: I really don't know. I have some skills and the drive to learn to fight, but I am currently, as I'm sure y'all can tell, very sick and I don't think I'd be able to live with so much movement and so little medicine

Am I trusting?: Generally, I probably trust too much but I'm not gonna stop

What fictional characters do I identify with?: there are many I like but none I identify with

My most common labels: Mom friend, butch, that weird fat chick (doesn't bother me tho), the well behaved daughter, old soul

My life's anthem: I really am not sure if this is a good anthem song but I love it so so much... Take Me In Your Arms (Rock Me A Little While) by Kim Weston - you see where I get my love of long titles lol

Problems I'm dealing with: my health and whatever painful sickness is wrecking me, figuring out what to do with my life, saving money, getting my anxiety under control, getting the house to actually heat up because I'm cold as fuck

How can someone win me over?: let me express my interests and feelings, show kindness, be funny

What is something people don't know about me?: Idk

Not tagging anyone, this took over an hour

#personal #about me #tag game

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