#imagine wearing different masks each day to convey how you feel

[caballero-ladron]

Adventures in the City - 4/17/21

Museum of Natural History

#museum of natural history #nyc #manhattan #brooklyn #my post #masks #black history #I loved the congo initiation so much #can i wear a mask to work? #aztec culture #amazon people #lucky they didnt have a taino section or I wouldve cried my eyes out #imagine wearing different masks each day to convey how you feel #africa #museum #photography

[stray-kids-react]

Crush is cold and distant but warms up to them

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° Chan tried not to get to attached to you, knowing you were focused on your career more than anything. But he fell in love with you whenever you went on that stage, seeing you so happy and passionate.

° You both only had a professional relationship, not even an actual friendship has formed between you two. This bothered Chan, knowing there are many other male idols and fans who had their eyes on you.

° So he decided that he would have to make the moves to get you warmed up to him, even if it took a while to crack that initial wall you put up in front of everyone. But he was determined, and won't give up easily.

° Started out by inviting your whole band over to hang out with Stray Kids, to 3racha, to just you, him, and Felix, and finally til you were comfortable to just hang out with him alone. It took a good five months to get there.

° He use to just find you attractive and love how dedicated you were, but now he falls deeper in love with you by each smile you show him. You are such a warm and gentle person when you take that wall down.

° Chan feels honoured that he gets to see this side to you, knowing many fans and idols alike only see the professional role model mask you put on. He likes seeing you loosen up and goof around with him.

"Thanks for the amazing night once again, seriously. I feel so spoiled by you." you teased, giggling softly as you stood by your apartment door.

"Well it was an amazing night, because I was with an amazing person. Sorry if that was cheesy." He apologized, realizing how cliché he sounded soon after.

Lee Know

° Understands why you can come off cold and distant at points, some people just have trouble opening up to people. But that won't stop him from making small talk everytime you take his order at the café you work at.

° It took weeks for you to give him a genuine smile, and that was when he dissed your boss for being a dick towards you. He's never felt such a soft feeling in his heart until he saw you smile so bright.

° Even though he'd never admit it, everything about trying to ask you out terrified him. Han noticed the slight worry in his eyes, so he'll talk good about Minho to you without Minho knowing.

° Han did this for two weeks before Minho finally caught him, he felt so nervous not knowing what Han was saying to you. So he'd move closer, trying to hear some of the words coming out of his mouth.

° Some facts were a bit too open for his liking, like mentioning how he sometimes doesn't wear underwear to bed. But you didn't seem to mind or judge him for it, you just beamed an adorable smile and listened.

° The next day Minho decided to do the talking instead of Han, properly introducing himself to you and apologizing if you felt uncomfortable yesterday. You were honestly much more bubbly than he expected.

"I just wanted to apologize if you heard anything that made you uncomfortable." He sighed, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. You thought he was cute when nervous.

"I wasn't uncomfortable, Jisung seems like a really good friend." You reassured, a soft sparkle to your eyes that made him stare for a bit too long than he would've liked.

Changbin

° You were Felix's best friend, even though to many you seemed like complete opposites. Felix told all of his members how kind and warm you truly were once you let your guard down, but that it takes time for it to happen.

° Felix invited you over to go to the amusement park with them, mostly so you will protect him during the rides. But in all honesty, you were focused on his adorable Hyung Changbin.

° He looked so adorable on the zip line, his feet dancing up and down constantly. And his laugh seemed to cure any fear you had on the large intimidating rides, yet you still were far to scared to talk to him.

° All of the crushes you've had thought you hated them, because when you like someone you tend to shy away from them and it ends up seeming like you are avoiding them. But your best friend wanted to change that.

° Felix not only called Changbin over to talk with you, but also told him to keep you company and show you around the park. You wanted to thank him and slap him at the same time, but you stayed calm about it.

° Changbin was open about how he found you attractive, not worrying if you liked him or not. His mindset is that everyone likes feeling special, and if he is upfront about his crushes it'll at least make them feel confident.

"You know you're very cute when you smile y/n." He reassured, smiling softly as you waited in line at the cotton candy stand. Your heart beating like a drum solo.

"You're very nice company, maybe we should hang out alone some time." You suggested, all of your fear lumping itself into the back of your mind. Until he nodded in agreement.

Hyunjin

° In all honesty, he thought you hated him. It didn't help that you both use to be each other's competition while trainees, but it hurt more when he began to have an interest in you. Even though you two barely talked.

° His members reassured him that you just seemed cold to many people, but you are actually just very introverted. But that still didn't calm down his nerves whenever you crossed paths, his heart stopping everytime.

° Hyunjin never got a chance alone with you until you both were assigned the same car to be picked up in after an award show. You both were squished together near the back, as your fellow members got better seats.

° Hyunjin complimented your performance, earning the first smile of yours he's ever witnessed. It made his confidence tumble down hill, realizing that you were truly going to destroy him with that smile.

° He was about to look back to the window when you replied back, telling him that you are actually a huge fan of his. His eyes went wide as he soon noticed the rosy apples of your cheeks, noting how adorable they are.

° The reveal of the whole situation was bittersweet, it was nice knowing you were actually just shy but he also felt guilty for not talking to you sooner. However the car ride home ended with your number on his phone.

"I just thought I'd let you know that you were really amazing out there." He complimented, glancing at you shyly as you focused you direction towards him.

"Thank you, it's honestly surreal to hear that from such a talented idol like you." You gushed, your mind filled with nervous thoughts and critiques.

Han

° It is hard to not warm up to Jisung, his energy and personality are just very likeable in general. It is also hard to stay cold around him since he is absolutely hilarious, and I'd bound to break that wall you put up.

° The other members thought you were quite cold and distant, all fo them having experience with you while you did their makeup. But Han didn't believe someone with such kind eyes could be so harsh.

° All of the members he had a crush on you, and wouldn't let it go until he found out for himself if you were a nice person or not. Some members were a bit nervous for him, seeing as you were quite stone cold.

° While getting touch ups done in between an award show, he held one of the fans given to him by your face. Letting both of you cool off in such warm conditions, you couldn't help but smile slightly at his gestures.

° After the show he ran up to you as you were getting into your car, passing you a small slip of paper. You found Jisung very attractive, but never thought he'd ever pay attention to someone like you.

° The slip of paper had his phone number in it, you couldn't help but become a deep shade of pink once you realized what was going on. You quickly thanked him and gave you number to his phone as well.

"Here's my number, if you ever want to hang out or go on a date sometime." He murmured, trying his best to swallow all of his fear in his throat.

"Oh, Thank you. Um... Sorry I just wasn't expecting this... Here have my number." You stuttered out, shocked that he would even notice you out of so many people.

Felix

° It truly depends on the day and scenario with Felix, he'll either be too shy to talk to you or asking you if you want some brownies as he shows off his breathtaking smile. Either way, you notice how cute he truly is.

° Felix isn't the most confident guy, so when he first began crushing on you it mostly consisted of you doing your job as an assistant and him admiring you from afar. It took a month before Chan introduced him.

° You have trouble conveying your emotions, and are use to just focusing on your work. But Felix hits differently, he makes your heart speed up and cheeks become warm. You are terribly at admitting it though.

° Many guys and girls have hit on you or simply started to just because Felix has a thing for you, but none of them gave off the same feelings you get when you were around Felix. And Chan noticed that.

° One day Felix had enough of people trying to flirt with you, and was terrified that he would lose his opportunity to confess to you. So he directly into the practice room where you were, and kissed you directly on the lips.

° His lips were just as soft and sweet as you had imagined, melting into the kiss with ease. Even though you both were quite calm with he situation, everyone around you was stunned and very confused.

"Sorry... I just couldn't help it I guess. Would you like to go out sometimes?" he questioned, trying to catch his breath from the long lasting kiss.

"Y-yeah, I'd love to. I better get back to my kis- I mean shift. T-talk to you later." You replied, failing to hide your joyful yet very flustered state.

Seungmin

° Seungmin knew you as Jeongin's best friend, you were much more quiet and colder than Stray Kids' beloved Maknae. But nonetheless, Seungmin found himself falling for you only days after meeting.

° Jeongin knew that Seungmin had grown a liking towards you, but he didn't want to be the one to reveal it to you. You haven't had many people crush on you so obviously, and he wanted to cherish every moment.

° Seungmin would always become much more bubbly and smiley, every member loved witnessing him be so whipped for someone. You were oblivious to this fact, and assumed he was just a very bubbly person.

° But one day Jeongin had enough of you not getting the clues or hints towards Seungmin's crush on you. So he confronted you face to face, asking you how the hell you can't notice Seungmin gushing over you.

° The truth was that you had very low sled confidence, and just assumed only trash people could like you. But you were proven very wrong once Jeongin admitted the obvious truth face to face.

° The next day you asked Seungmin to meet up with you at the dorms, you both were alone and silence filled every corner. You weren't good with words, so you decided the next best thing was a kiss on his cheek.

"Why'd you do that? Not that I didn't like it, I did like it. I'm just a bit surprised." He stammered out, a noticeable red tint covering the apples of his cheeks.

"I like you, and I would love to go on a date." You explained, a warmness to your cool tone. Reassuring Seungmin that you had no doubts about your feelings.

Jeongin

° You and Jeongin knew of each other from you friend groups, but neither of you ever got the chance to get to know each other. All you could really do at the time was find each other good looking and become curious.

° Chaeryeong has only ever seen you crush on two people in your whole friendship together, so seeing you find someone attractive and blush over them. Made her very excited and tease the hell out of you.

° Chaeryeong planned a special event for the two of you, neither of you knowing it was just going to be the two of you. Let's just say you sent a very expressive text to your best friend once the scenario clicked in.

° You were terrified that you'd mess up and completely embarrass yourself, so you tried to keep quiet. But Jeongin insisted on getting to know you, beginning with small talk that led to making you laugh.

° You had much more in common than you thought you would, and you were glad to see him be such a genuinely kind person. Jeongin is naturally very sweet, but some of it was also to sweep you off your feet.

° He drove you home and walked you all the way to the door, where your roommate/best friend Chaeryeong peeped through the peephole. Jeongin gently pecked your head as you melted into his arms.

"I had a nice time, maybe we could do this again?" you asked, scared of rejection but also expecting it. You've been rejected many times and each one stung terribly.

"I'd love to, I can't wait to see you again. And trust me, next time will be much more romantic and cheesy." He teased, knowing you weren't the romantic type of person.

#stray kids #kpop #changbin #skz scenarios #stray kids reactions #han jisung #hyunjin #jeongin #lee know #bang chan #felix skz #skz seungmin #skz requests #skz reactions

[night-filled-mountain]

Going to work day after day with mental disorders bubbling beneath the surface is...it’s like wearing a costume or mask, or some kind of fake skin covering up the jagged broken bones underneath. You feel like a fool walking around in it, interacting with “normal” people, pretending you can complete tasks just like they can, with the same easy step-by-step thought processes and smoothly regulated emotions and consistent energy reserves you imagine they have. You keep expecting people to see through it, or for it to fall off any second and leave you exposed. Impostor syndrome doesn’t seem like quite the right term to me, because the struggles and limits are real; I am genuinely doing the bare minimum, barely holding it together, constantly risking the kinds of small embarrassments or minor to moderate disasters I’ve faced/caused in the past. And then doing my spin-doctor thing and finding some way to get through it and patch things up, through frantic last-minute efforts or half-assing or half-truths or straight-up lies.

The anxiety and self-loathing aren’t constant, per se, but they recur so persistently that I don’t know how to convey the experience to anyone else, or how they could help if I did. I don’t know how to express my disgust with the fact that I have a career that is highly romanticized, that is considered to be Fun and Admirable and Useful to Society, and I don’t want it; I don’t put a fraction of the thought and effort into it that I should; I’m in constant survival mode, scrambling to fulfill the basic requirements, never going above and beyond, always longing to be sitting in some quiet grove where no one can find me, alone and anonymous, with books and music and zero responsibilities, in a state of perfect, unattainable peace.

I’ve met other people who dealt with this, and the commiseration was amazing, but in the end, our combined negativity was so toxic that we were definitively Bad for each other and had to part ways. I look at my parents and my sister, who all have some level of the same or similar issues, and all of them have dealt with it by detaching from society to some degree, carving out that quiet space for themselves. Meanwhile, here I am with my marriage and my circle of close friends and my full-time customer-service job, going into my third (!!!) round of interviews for a different full-time customer-service job, sharing an apartment with three other people, constantly striving to satisfy everyone around me professionally and domestically and socially, constantly falling short.

And I know exactly why I crafted this life for myself--the years of loneliness and isolation that built up to it, the years of deep dark internalized shame over having Never Had a Job, the daily chaos of trying to fend for yourself when you can���t drive and can’t cook and forget to eat or do chores. This is better. This is, perhaps, as good as it gets (unless I finally finish a novel??). And I just...don’t know how long I can do it. Even though it all looks fine on the surface. Even though I look fine(ish) (mostly) (sort of) (in public, anyway). Just. Why do I have this life? What on earth made me think I could handle it? What was I thinking!?

#personal #mental illness #add #adhd #anxiety #depression #negativity #she's just about to close up the library! #this all sounds hella dramatic and i feel a bit silly about it; i already feel better just having written it #but the darkness will come creeping back again and again and so i might as well vent #in other news i'm still behind on exu and likely always will be and that's not helping because exu is a surefire mood-booster 😛

[cancelingthenoise]

Unworthy

Soooo, after a 13 year hiatus, I’m trying to get back into writing and where better to start than fan fiction and with my fave OTP.  But buckle up, it’s a heavy one.  Hopefully I’ve tagged all the appropriate trigger warnings; apologies if I’ve missed any - please let me know if I have!!

Summary: Addict.  Junkie.  Worthless.  He has been gone for three years and is ready to come home, but his biggest enemy is still the one inside.  

Rated: Mature (Addiction, Recovery, Implied Drug Use, Drug References, Mild Sexual Content)

Cross-posted to FFN and AO3

He inserts the coins and dials a number he knows by heart.  The only one that is permanently branded into the recesses of his mind. As it rings, he hopes – let it be the right number, let it still be her number, let her pick up …

Hello?

“Kagome.”

Inu … Inuyasha?

“I … want to come home.”

Where are you?

He tells her the city, the intersection, the name on the warehouse nearby.  Everything that can pinpoint exactly where he is so she can find him.

I’m on my way.  Stay put.

There’s a tone in her voice he can’t identify and it sends pangs straight to his heart, but she’s coming. She’s coming.  

And so, he waits.

Two hours later a familiar red sedan pulls up in front of him and its driver approaches.  She’s older now, tired, he notices as he stands to greet her.  He watches as she looks him over.  He’s dirty, he knows, and even his demon-blood cannot mask how battered and bruised he is.  He’s shocked but admittedly pleased when she wraps her arms around his waist and squeezes him in an embrace.  Her scent is altogether lovely and calming, like coming home.

It takes every fiber of his being not to whine when she pulls away and looks him square in the eyes. Her grey eyes are intense and full of contrasting emotions.  All for him. “Let’s go.” She finally speaks, her tone decisive and unyielding.

He has nothing but the clothes on his back, but instead of a pitying glance, she nods.  It’s almost cathartic that she’s here and he has no physical baggage to take.  She tosses her purse from the passenger seat into the back so he can settle in.

He notices the ring when she places her hands on the steering wheel.  Ten-and-two, ever predictable.

“You’re engaged.” He cannot hide the shock, the disdain that he feels.

“Yes.”

Her response is sharp and leaves no invitation for a response, but he can’t help it as the jealousy bubbles up through his core.

“Had enough waiting on the addict to clean up his act?” As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he feels instant regret.  He’s always been a hothead who runs his mouth before thinking, but he can tell these words sting deep.  They pain him too.

She flinches and releases a haggard breath.

“That’s not fair.  You left.  You stopped calling.  You stopped picking up.  You couldn’t even text.  And then your number went out.  Now you’ve called me from a payphone.  It’s been three years.” Her eyes remain firmly on the road, hands clenching the wheel, but he can see her body tremble and hear the strain in her voice. She’s angry.  Furious.

He slumps, “I’m sorry.” His whisper is meek as he understands a mere apology is not nearly enough to make amends for the past.  It doesn’t explain why he had to disappear, why he went away for so long.  It can’t make her understand his reasons.

She nods almost imperceptibly and seems to consider a game plan.  “I’ll take you to Sesshomaru’s.”

“No.” He’s vehement. There’s no chance in hell he will turn to his half-brother.  Especially now.

“Sango and Miroku’s then.”

“And?” He balks at the conjunction.

“They’re married now. Have been for a year.  You would’ve been his Best Man, but …”

She trails off, but he understands.  They couldn’t find him, reach him.  The hole he left in their lives appears to be much greater than he imagined.  

They drive in silence for nearly an hour.  He wants to speak, wants to tell her everything, but he can’t find the words; and based on the furtive glances she keeps sending him, she can’t either.

“I was so scared you were dead.” She finally whimpers.

“Some days I wished I was.” He admits forlornly.

She looks at him for a few moments before staring back at the road, brows furrowed, mouth turned down.

“I’m glad you’re not.”

Those are the last words spoken before silence consumes them again.

After they hit the city limits, she drives to a house in the suburbs.  It looks like a dream with its double-attached garage and neatly manicured lawn.  A chokecherry tree sits among a bed of flowers in the middle of the green; simple yet attractive and he knows whose home he stands in front of.  She leads him from the driveway to the royal blue front door and it opens almost immediately, revealing two faces he has longed to see almost as much as Kagome’s. Their expressions are a combination of disbelief and relief.  Miroku does not hesitate to embrace him with a sigh as Sango looks on with tears in her eyes.  He reaches a tentative hand out to her which she grasps tightly with a closed smile.

They usher him into the house and guide him to their kitchen.  Miroku settles him into a spot at the breakfast bar as Sango pours him a glass of water.  They do not speak, though the questions in their eyes are obvious.  Miroku nods at him as he and Sango walk back to the door, to Kagome.  She hasn’t come in.  Her face has been drawn since they stopped speaking during the drive.  

He waits inside the kitchen as they speak outside.  He could train his ears to listen to their conversation, and briefly considers it, but he chooses not to.  His absence has prohibited him from those intimacies.  They are different people now, just as he is.  They are probably discussing how to get him on his feet again as quickly as possible so they can get back to their lives.  Why would they want him to stay? Why would they want him around for longer than necessary?

Miroku and Sango return to him.  He hears the telltale roar of an engine and knows Kagome has gone.  He feels sadness, but knows why she’s left without a word. After all, who can jump right into caring for your former partner who has all but risen from the grave?

Sango looks him over, assessing him thoroughly.  He avoids her eyes, unsure of what emotions she’s wearing and afraid to meet them.  Shame fills his bones.  Maybe he should have stayed away.  Maybe he should have stayed dead in their minds.  He is a spot on their pristine lives.

Miroku refills his glass of water and replaces it on the counter before sitting on the stool beside him.

“You’re alive,” he finally breathes.

Inuyasha meets Miroku’s gaze and is warmed to see compassion and joy in his deep blue eyes.  The shame that was eating him just moments ago fades ever so slightly.

“You’re home.” Miroku states, “It’s a miracle.  Where have you been? What have you been doing?”

The dam is officially broken and all the questions that he knew were coming are finally bare, and despite everything, he feels entirely unprepared to answer.  So he starts slow, begins with the day they last saw him.  He tells them of his travels, the hitchhiking, the homelessness, but skimps out on the details of things he has done, the sins he has committed.  Those are secrets he will take to the grave.  He is unwilling to mar the consciences of those he loves.

“Have you…” Sango shakes her head, unable to finish her question, but he fully comprehends what she means to ask.

“No.  I’ve been clean since the day I left.”

“Then why?”

“Loose ends.” He murmurs. “I had to settle my debts.  They … they would’ve come for her if I didn’t comply.”

“For so long?”

Three years is nothing, he wants to tell them.  He’s lucky he only had to serve that long.  Naraku is a malevolent bastard and exploits the last breath out of most.  Frankly, his death would have been an easier price to pay.

“I had to earn my freedom.” He admits this ashamedly and hopes they don’t press for more.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“It wasn’t so simple.”

“So you disappeared.” Sango states brusquely, her tone is harsh and unforgiving.  “You broke her heart, you know.  You broke all of our hearts when you left.”

That admission freezes him from the inside.  He knew his absence would be difficult for them all, but hearing it spoken aloud affects him more than he thought it would.  He imagines Kagome sobbing into her pillow.  It’s a scene that is all too familiar, he’s caused her many tears – too many.

“I know.  I’m sorry.” He repeats his submissive apology from earlier and slumps, his forehead almost touching the counter.

“You’re here now,” Miroku responds comfortingly and places a hand on his shoulder, “You’re here.  You’re alive.  You’re safe.  That’s what matters.  We can help you now, if you want it.”

He lifts his head and looks directly at Sango whose cinnamon eyes convey grief and yet hold a glimmer of hope.  He turns to Miroku who is awaiting his response.

“Yes.” He declares, confidence daring to materialize, “Please.”

Later that evening he is settling into the spare bedroom they’ve given him.  Before him is a suitcase of his belongings that Kagome has dropped off on the front step.  He takes a breath and opens it.  He is quickly overcome with her sweet scent which is deeply embedded in each item. The clothes are slightly too big for him now.  Three years of constantly moving, being on the run, and meager meals have diminished his former stature.

Amongst his clothes is a red leather-bound book.  A journal. It smells more intimately of Kagome than everything else.  She has wept openly on these pages, he can tell.  He opens it and thumbs quickly through the pages.  Each entry is a letter addressed to him.  As he flips through the journal certain phrases jump out at him amidst the lines of her loopy hand.

I want to hate you.

Where are you?

I wish I had never met you.

Are you alive?

I wish I could hold you.

Please come home.

I love you.

He shudders as he realizes that these pages hold missives from the last three years.  These are Kagome’s thoughts, her feelings.  This is an intimacy he thought was nearly impossible now.  She has to have put this with his things on purpose.  She’s thorough like that.  Every action is purposeful, thoughtful.  He finds the last entry in the journal, it’s dated today.

Inuyasha,

This is a collection of letters that I began writing when I realized you weren’t coming home anytime soon.  Eventually I thought you weren’t coming home at all.  I used these to talk to you as if you were still by my side.  I don’t know what you’ve been through and maybe giving you this journal is selfish of me, but I needed you to see.

I hope they help you understand why I can’t be the one to help you right now.  I need time. It’s ironic saying that after you’ve been gone for three years.  It feels like there’s been nothing but time between us.  I thought you were dead when I received your call today.  I thought I was hearing a ghost.  I’m so grateful you’re alive, but things are different now.  We are not the same people we were before.

I need to figure this out.

Please understand.

Kagome

It isn’t until tears splatter on the page that he realizes he is crying.  Of course she needs time.  He knew this was a possibility when he made the phone call this afternoon. He’d hoped against hope that she would come for him and take him back fully.  But that was wishful thinking.  He knew there was a chance she would turn him away.  She could have hung up as soon as she heard his voice.  But she came for him, made arrangements for him.  But she is engaged to another man.  She needs to figure out if there is still room in her life for him.

For her, he’d wait a lifetime.  Even to just be her friend.

It is another three months before he sees Kagome again.  He’s read that journal more times than he cares to admit.  All her sleepless nights are immortalized in those grid-lined pages, that he’s now dog-eared and bookmarked.  Her worries, fears, even her dreams laid bare.  He knows how often she cried when he was in the depths of his addictions, but it has taken this journal to make him truly appreciate how deeply he hurt her, even after he was gone.  And to his astonishment, it wasn’t the behaviour that hurt her the most, it was his poor viewpoint of himself.

I wish you could see you how I do.

I should have told you more what you meant to me.

I regret every moment I didn’t say “I love you.”

He knows Sango sees her regularly, he can always scent her when Sango arrives home.  It’s not as if they’re keeping their meetings a secret, but he’s respecting her space even though it kills him.  It bothers him when he can smell the sadness of her tears and the tinge of fatigue.  He wonders what causes her tears these days, why she’s so often tired, why sometimes there’s a trace of illness in her scent that lingers on Sango.  From Miroku he learns that she’s busy with her residency at the hospital.  Ever the studious achiever.  Ever wanting to help others.  To heal.

This is the reason he knows she’d never give up on him.  It’s why she was the one he called.  She’s a walking bleeding heart, always has been.  She sees the best in people, even when their best is a mere speck amidst obscurity.  When he was at his worst, she stood by him.  When everyone else had lost hope and he’d been slipping deeper into his addictions, his darkness, she stayed.  She brought him back from the brink of death’s door one too many times.  Back then, she truly loved him.  And he’s holding onto hope with every fiber of his being that she still does.

He hopes she’s proud of him and the progress he’s making.  Since he’s been back, he’s found work thanks to Miroku’s contacts in construction.  He’s proven himself to be a hard worker and has met a journeyman to mentor him as an apprentice in iron work.  It’s also helped boost his confidence with reintegrating into society.  At work, no one cares what his past is, what skeletons he hides in the closet, as long as he gets the job done.  At work, they’re all sinners just trying to get by.

He stays away from the parties and the after-work bar stops.  He recognizes the patterns in some of his colleagues all too well.  One drink leads to two leads to three leads to smack or blow or both which leads to miserable mornings because you’ve spent all night chasing that first-time spark.  No matter how hard you try, you can never attain that feeling again and still you chase. It’s the vicious cycle.  He’s done with that life.  It’s taken too much away from him, cost him too much.

Miroku and Sango have let him know that Kagome will be coming for dinner, so he’s had ample time to prepare.  But when she arrives in the doorway and her scent hits him like a freight train, he panics. Has she had enough time? Has she made a decision? Will she want him to stay away?  He runs to his room and leans back against the closed door.  He’s stared down the barrels of guns with less fear than what he’s experiencing in this moment.  

He smells her before he hears her footsteps arriving at his door.  Trepidation grips him as he hears her voice call to him for the first time in three months.  This is so much harder than that very first phone call that has brought him home.

“Inuyasha?”

She’s there, he can tell her face is pressed to the wood.  Her voice is soft, hesitant.  Perhaps she is just as nervous as him.

“Can I come in?”

He quakes as he reaches for the handle and turns it painfully slow.  He inches the panel open.  Finally, finally, he opens it all the way and turns to face her.

Her face is a portrait of concern and tenderness.  Her grey eyes are intense as they’ve always been and are already filling with tears. Her arms are wrapped around herself as if she’s blocking a gale.

He steps aside to let her in and shuts the door behind her.

She stares at the floor and he focuses on a spot on the wall above her head for a few moments.  He is completely stunned when she launches herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and clutching as hard as she can. As he wraps his arms around her shoulders, she sobs fiercely and he feels tears prick the back of his own eyes.

He cups the back of her head, gently stroking her hair, and whispers repeatedly, “I’m sorry.”

It feels as if hours have passed when Kagome’s tears finally subside.  His body protests when she begins to pull away, but she clasps his hand and pulls him to sit on his bed.  She pulls a tissue out of her jeans pocket and wipes her face.

“Sango tells me you’ve been working,” her voice is pinched from crying, but he admires her attempts at normal conversation.

“Yeah, it’s going well.”

“Good,”

She smiles then and he thinks it’s the best thing he’s seen in years.  Her eyes are red and swollen, and her cheeks are ruddy, but her smile can still light up a room and he’s glad that it’s his.

“I … really am glad that you’re home.”

“Me too,”

“I’ve missed you a lot,

“Me too,” He feels like a goddamn broken record, but he may combust if he attempts more words.

“And … I’d like it if we could start hanging out again.”

He gapes at her, slack-jawed and eyes wide.  While he has been hoping for this, it is still a surprise to hear it straight from her lips.  His mind races with all the things he wants to say and his heart is lodged in his throat.

“That is … if you’d want to,”

He realizes that he’s taken too long to respond and she’s beginning to backtrack.  In a lot of ways, they are still the same people they were; confident in so many circumstances and yet, with each other, eternally hesitant and nervous.

“Of course I want to,”

The words rush out of his mouth in an effort to reassure her.  

“I would love to spend time with you.  I just wasn’t sure … if you’d …” he’s stumbling and feels like a fool, but he needs her to know.  He needs her to understand just how much he wants to be back in her life.

She smiles again and his world warms once more.

“I guess we shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer.”

It takes him a moment to remember that their friends are downstairs with dinner and they stand together. He realizes as they descend the stairs that she has not let go of his hand at all.  Her diamond ring is notably absent from her finger, but he leaves that question for another time.

Dinner is a simple affair and it’s the lightest he’s felt in years.

- - - - -

If there’s anything his life has taught him, it’s that happiness is temporary.  Six months of being home, six months of stability, and three months of having Kagome back in his life on a regular basis have made him happy.  It’s a feeling he didn’t think was possible, didn’t think he was worthy of.  After all, when life has ceaselessly handed him cruel lessons, why would happiness even be an option? So when it all comes crashing down as he’s out running errands with Miroku, it doesn’t surprise him, but it still hurts like a motherfucker.

“It’s you.”

The words are scathing and resentful.  He dreadfully lifts his gaze to meet the eyes of the person who seems to offended by his mere existence.  She’s a petite woman with short black hair, but the animosity in her eyes belies her diminutive stature.

“How dare you?” Her tone is soft but punitive.  “How dare you insert your filthy little hands back into Kagome’s life.  She was finally moving on.  She was happy.  She was going to marry Akitoki, he would have taken care of her.  He was good for her.  But you couldn’t stay away.  She broke off her engagement because of you.  You’re taking advantage of her heart.  She’s let go of her chance at happiness, and for what? To take care of you? A worthless little nobody who can’t wait for his next fix?”

The woman is viciously relentless.  Her diatribe is unforgiving, slicing him to the very bone.

He is completely frozen. He wants to yell back at her, tell her that he’s quite aware of how he is undeserving of Kagome’s compassion and forgiveness.  He knows that he’s been the cause of her pain and tears.  He knows he’s gotten more second chances than he deserves.  He knows her life was easier without him.  He knows Kagome is better than him.  He knows.  Oh, he knows.

He vaguely registers that Miroku has taken a step between them and is reprimanding the woman.  Eri, he remembers.  She’d been a friend of Kagome’s through school and had been more than vocal of her disapproval of him even then.

Eri quickly turns her malice toward Miroku.

“You’re no friend of Kagome, letting this fuck-up back into her life.”

“That’s enough.  I won’t allow you to continue vilifying Inuyasha.  And Kagome is fully capable of deciding for herself who she associates with.”

Miroku’s tone is level, but Inuyasha can tell he is running out of patience.  Miroku grips his elbow and guides him away from the venomous witch, but not before she can get a final word in.

“You should have stayed dead.”

He flinches then, her phrase echoing endlessly through his mind, settling into his gut and clawing at him from the inside.

Somehow Miroku gets them home, everything is a blur with that bitch’s voice reverberating in his skull. He hears Miroku’s voice, but he cannot focus on the words.  All he understands is hatred and disgust.  Everything he has worked for is worthless.  Is this the way it’s always going to be?

She finds him on the back porch, sitting on the stairs, staring blankly toward the sunset.  She sits beside him on the step and sighs. Her voice is weary.

“Miroku told me everything. I’m sorry that happened.”

“She wasn’t wrong.”

“What?” Her shock is more than evident.  She clutches his forearm with both hands and he can sense her tears beginning to form, “How can you say that?”

He doesn’t dare look at her, he knows it’ll ruin his resolve.  As low as he feels, he feels a ripple of anger brewing in his gut.  Eri’s words have been festering in his brain, allowing an old and familiar voice to break through.  He’s a half-breed, accepted but unlovable.  He’s stupid and useless, completely unworthy of happiness. He’s committed too many wrongs to ever deserve redemption.  It’s been a long time, but the feeling inside is one he’ll never forget.  He’s craving a high to numb this pain, this goddamn fucking anger.

“If you want that perfect life, you should take it.  I don’t want your fucking pity party.  I know you look down on me.  Poor Inuyasha and his asshole attitude.  The only time he’s bearable is when he’s high as a damn kite and that’s only because he doesn’t know up from fucking down.  Of course, the downside is that he might stop breathing.” He scoffs harshly, “Or, is that the upside?”

He knows his voice is bitter and that he’s gotten louder.  It’s echoing the one Eri used earlier.  He’s shaking from the anger, or is it something else?  This scene feels all too familiar, almost like déjà vu; but somehow, it’s different now.

“Inuyasha.  Stop.”

She’s pleading with him, her grip on his arm has gotten tighter.  He knows she’s weeping openly; he can scent her tears and hear the stutter in her breath.  It’s all too familiar.  After all, this is what he’s good at: making her cry.

“Doesn’t fucking matter I’ve been clean three years.  That’s all anyone will see, a fucking deadbeat addict.  You’d be better off with that doctor.  He can take care of you, pamper you.  He’ll be enough.  He’ll deserve you.  That’s not me.  That’ll never be me.  All I’ll ever be is a fuck-up.”

“Don’t.”

She whimpers and lets her grip loosen.  He’s sure she’s going to walk away, get back in her car and leave.  He keeps his stare steady on the sun that has almost completely slipped beyond the horizon.  There’s a war waging inside of him – his angels and demons come out to play.  Not for the first time, he bitterly wonders if this continued sobriety is worth it.  She’s going to leave, just as she should.

When her hand comes up and gently cups his cheek, he is completely undone.  She tenderly moves his face, but he keeps his gaze downcast.  Her hand is soft and warm to the touch as her thumb swipes away his tears.  Of course she’s staying.  Her bleeding heart won’t let her leave.  He cries for her, her lost opportunities, her damn sympathetic selflessness.  But she surprises him again in what she utters; and in her words, he finds hope.

“You have always been enough for me.  I have always seen you.  The you who loves me and would do anything to protect me.  The you who acts tough because you’re scared of rejection.  The you who wishes you could change the past. The you who is more determined and smarter than you realize.  The you who has worked hard to conquer those shitty demons inside.  That’s who I see.”

She sighs and he feels her whole body tremble.

“Every time you used, I was terrified.  I was so scared that you wouldn’t wake up one day, that you’d stop breathing, that your heart would fail.  That I would lose you.  It made me angry, it’s why I pushed you so hard.  I wanted you to get sober for me.”

He meets her eyes then, their pretty grey glimmers in what’s left of the sunlight through the sheen of her tears.  In them he finds no pity, only benevolence.  Everything she has said, he has heard her say before.  He’s read it before.  But this is why it isn’t a complete déjà vu, it’s different.  It’s different because they are different.  They have grown and she confirms it with her next statement.

“It was selfish.  I wanted you to get sober, but you needed to do it for yourself.”

He reaches up to grasp her wrist, lightly squeezing in lieu of all the words he wants to say.

She lets the corners of her mouth turn upwards ever so slightly.

“And you did.  You succeeded.  I don’t know what you’ve been through these last few years, and maybe I’ll never know, but what I do know is that you came home.  You did what you had to and came back to me, and I am prouder of you than you can ever imagine.”

She presses her lips to his forehead and gathers him in her arms.  He allows himself to take comfort in her embrace because comfort is not happiness and is not so easily taken away.

He goes back to her apartment with her that night.  Their apartment.  It looks the same as the day he left.  He is simultaneously comforted and haunted by the familiarity.  This place that they made home together.  Where they laughed and fought.  Where he wasted his nights and she cared for him.  This is where he had joy and lost it.  This is where he left her.

She putters around the kitchen, putting the kettle on for tea.  As she pulls two mugs from the cabinet, he realizes that they’re the matching set they painted for each other on a date some lifetime ago.  She sees the recognition in his stare and begins to speak.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed I kept everything the same.” She smiles timidly and her eyes are filled with earnest, “Everyone thought it was unhealthy, but it kept me sane.  They tried to convince me to move out of here, and I was adamant that I wouldn’t – couldn’t.  Because if you came home and found I wasn’t here, I wouldn’t have forgiven myself.”

She busies herself again, pulling out a tin of teabags and a sleeve of arrowroot cookies.

“And then as time went on and I started fearing the worst, I needed to hang onto my memories of you, of us.  So, everything stayed the same.  Even though I was moving forward with school and … eventually, Akitoki,” She glances downward, sheepish.  “Home was my constant.  It was me. It was you.  It was us.  It is us.”

He steps toward her. He has so many questions and a spark of hope is igniting in his veins.

“Why?”

The word hangs between them and he tries in vain to push that hope down, down, down.  It is such a simple word, and yet holds so much impact.

She lifts her eyes to meet his, grey colliding with amber, understanding pouring through.

“We met when I started my residency. He was a third-year.  At first, I didn’t pay him any mind, but he kept persisting.  Eventually I figured meeting for coffee wouldn’t hurt.” She pauses, reaching for his hand.  “You have to understand that you’d been gone for almost two years.  I was lonely.  And … and he was safe.”

She scoffs, grips his hand tighter, and leans fully on the counter.  

“He was a proper gentleman. Waited a month before he kissed me the first time, even asked permission before he did.  It was another month after that before we officially became boyfriend and girlfriend.  It was a bit of a surprise when he proposed on our anniversary.  Obviously, I said yes – you saw the ring.  Except, it felt wrong.  It was all wrong.  We hadn’t even talked about the future or even moving in together, hadn’t done more than kiss.  But I guess that’s part of propriety.  And yet, I said yes because it was safe, that stupid word.”

His mind is racing.  Safe is not a word he has ever been associated with. What does it even mean? He searches her face for a clue, and anxiously waits for her to continue.  This is a conversation they have not deigned to have yet in the three months since they’ve been friends again.  The kettle is boiling rapidly now, but he knows that it’ll automatically shut off.

“Then five months later, you called me and this feeling I hadn’t felt in so long came rushing back. You were alive.  It was like the clouds were finally parting after a heavy rain.  I didn’t know what to expect when I came to pick you up, and this tiny part of me told me not to go, but it was right.  I felt right again, but I was scared.  So I stayed away.  Then I heard from Sango and Miroku that you were working and doing well and I was missing out on that.  I broke off the engagement.  As much as he was sweet and safe … he wasn’t you.”

Tears are welling in her eyes and he feels his are getting misty as well.  He steps and pulls all in one motion, wrapping his arms around her tightly. His heart is pounding out of his chest and that spark of hope is now a flame.  

She draws in a haggard breath and mumbles against his chest.

He tilts his head down to look at her, silently pleading for her to repeat what she’s just said.  His ears picked up her message, but he needs to know for sure.

She tips her chin upwards and shyly brushes her lips against his and repeats herself a little more loudly, “I love you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Her eyes darken and she presses a kiss to his jaw.

“Because you’re you. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been away.”

He whimpers, “Kagome,”

She kisses him fully then, grasping his face to ensure he can’t pull away, not that he wants to.  His heart is exploding.  She has always been able to read him, know what he’s thinking. And she has always known what he needs most.  This kiss is full of promises, assurances.  This is real.

“You are important. You are loved.  You are worthy of it all.”

She guides him to her bedroom.  Their bedroom.  He sits on the edge of the bed in disbelief that he is back in this room.  He can hardly believe that this woman is standing before him with love in her eyes.  This amazing, beautiful, strong, resilient woman who is holding the door to happiness wide open.  He only has to cross the threshold.  He falters. Happiness is dangerous.  Happiness is temporary.  But she is here and he trusts her implicitly.  With her, happiness is feasible.

With one look into her deep stormy eyes, he makes a choice.

“Kagome.”

Her name.  The only word he seems capable of uttering.  In her name he promises to try.  Promises to treat her well, make up for the pain he has caused her.  Promises to try and see himself through her eyes.  Promises to be kinder to himself.  Promises to help build their life together back up.  He knows with her, they will succeed.

She caresses his face and drops her lips to meet his once again, resting her knees on either side of him. He clutches her waist and revels in the familiarity of her body pressed against his.  Their motions are slow, meticulous, not dictated by hormones and lust.  And they fall into a routine, a dance that hasn’t been done in years and yet they fall back into with practiced ease.

With every kiss she presses hotly into his skin, she whispers continuous affirmation.  

You are enough.

You are worthy.

You are mine.

I love you.

He finds words still impossible to formulate and voice, so he allows his actions to speak for him. Each caress, each kiss, each touch is full of reverence and adoration.  When he finally sinks into her and they become one, he truly feels like he is home.  And all of his feelings of unworthiness and self-loathing begin to ebb, for it is the love of this woman and her unwavering belief in him that he can begin to heal.

As they settle into each other, heavy with the lure of sleep, he whispers in her ear, “I love you.”

She nestles into him closer and kisses his wrist.

For the first time, in a very long time, he feels worthy.  

FINAL NOTES:

I wanted to mention some things as a bit of a debrief to this story, if you will. This is a story that is very personal for me and is quite heavy. Hopefully the ending was enough of a pleasant one to offset the weight a bit.

The way I designed this story, Inuyasha and Kagome are separated during the toughest part of his recovery. The decision to stay with or leave a partner with addiction is a difficult one and can be different for everyone, especially because addiction is so highly stigmatized. A lot of the time the person struggling already carries guilt. Addiction so very often stems from trauma, depression, and/or other forms of mental illness and these need to be addressed first.

Regardless of whether you stay or go, it is important to set boundaries for yourself. Addiction is often labeled as a third-party to relationships because it attempts to wear down the people involved and whittle them down to their weakest and worst. If you are supporting someone through addiction and an active part of their recovery, it is vital to remember self-care and recognize when you need to say no and that it is okay to do so. It is NOT your responsibility to "cure" them.

If you are somebody who cares for someone struggling with addiction, I am happy to share resources that I have found helpful if you would like to reach out.

On another note, I do have ideas about where and what Inuyasha was up to during his three-year absence. It would probably contain heavier content than this piece, but also be a bit more fantastical. If the inspiration hits or if there’s interest, I’ll probably try and write it. Anyway, comments and likes are love. Thank you so much for reading my return to fan fiction!

#inuyasha #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha fic #omg i'm writing again #inukag #tw: drugs #tw: addiction #angst #angst with a happy ending #angst with a hopeful ending #tw: low self esteem #tw: depressive thoughts #rated m

[darlinvandijk]

Wish

Concept: there’s literally no concept for this, I’m just a bit sad, so I wanted to write a little blurb, because sometimes my dream world is better than my real world. Sorry for my absence lately. I hope you enjoy

I stare up at the ceiling of the bedroom on the tour bus, the only lighting in the room being that of the moon shining high outside in the sky, filtering in through the crack between the two small curtains we had set up. It’s nearing 11 pm, but Ruel had a late night rehearsal just to make sure everything would run smoothly for his concert tomorrow, and I decided to stay on the bus so that they could get what they needed done rather than having to constantly drag Ruel away from me and back to the stage every five minutes.

I raise my hand in the air, letting my fingers move through the stream of light, watching as the shadows dance across the room almost as if they have minds of their own. I feel the bus shake as the wind outside rushes around in hard random gusts, being so strong I can hear the howling of it every few seconds, smiling as the noise almost brings me a sense of peace. I lay flat, just listening to the sounds of the wind, my body warm and comfortable in Ruels sweatshirt, when the sound of hushed voices and footsteps distracts my train of thought. I instantly sit up staring straight at the door, knowing any second now Ruel would enter, tired and clingy from the stress of today’s events.

“Hi bubba” I whisper, smiling as he enters, closing the door softly and instantly coming over to me with fatigue lining his steps. He sets his phone on the nightstand, kicks his shoes off into a random corner of the room, and nudges me backwards so he can crawl on top of me, resting his face against my chest with a sigh. I run my fingers through his soft hair, feeling him leave a small kiss to my chest, before letting out an annoyed breath. “What’s wrong? Something happen during rehearsal?” I softly question, still playing with his hair as he lets out a frustrated groan, his body tensing up as he thinks about the rehearsal that just took place.

“Tomorrow’s show is going to be absolute shit” he grumbles, shoving his face against my chest, gripping my sides as his body stays stiff with tension. I stay silent and twirl the hair at the nape of his neck, waiting for him to continue so that he can elaborate on what’s bothering him, knowing if I say something he’ll get sidetracked. He lifts his head and rests his chin in the middle of my chest, his hair falling down and covering his eyes, my hands instantly pulling it back and putting it into a little bun with my scrunchie so that I can see his face clearly. “Do you think I’m good at this music thing? Like do you think I know what I’m doing?” He questions, insecurities floating through his mind, and shining through his eyes as they fill with an uncertain look. My eyes widen in shock upon hearing his question, not able to comprehend that he’d question his talents, knowing with my whole heart there’s no one else in this world that’s meant for this life more than him.

“Not only do I think you’re absolutely amazing at what you do, but I know you’re meant for it. You were born for this bub, there’s no better match when it comes to taking on the music industry than you. You might not know what you’re doing at all times, but no one does, that’s a part of learning and seeing what works and doesn’t work” I reason with him, the sigh that escapes his lips causing my heart to break just a little bit, knowing tonight was just one of those nights where I won’t be able to fix his problems and make them go away like I’d wish. I press my palm against his cheek, letting my thumb rub across it as he leans into my hand, craving a connection to make him feel like him again. “You’re doing the best that you can and I’m proud of you. I’m always proud of you. What’s making you think differently today?” I quietly ask him, my heart finally shattering as he looks away from my eyes, the moonlight shining into the small room illuminating the unshed tears that fill his eyes.

“I-I don’t know. Everyone just had something they didn’t like or to complain about today. I was doing too much or I wasn’t doing enough, but I’m trying my hardest... but maybe my hardest just isn’t enough.” He chokes out, a quiet sob breaking through his body, tears softly falling down his face as he lets his wall down. I let him clutch on to me as he cries, his tears falling on to my shirt soaking it in the process, and his face turning pink as it heats up. “I just want to be good enough. I w-wish I was good enough” he barely gets out, his feelings crashing through him, everything he’s kept inside for so long finally breaking surface. I wipe the never ending stream of tears away with my hands, caressing his face in hopes of brining his comfort, before shifting so I could sit up with him facing me.

“You’re good enough Ruel, you’re more than enough. Everyone is just stressed from constantly being on the road, but don’t let their words get to you, because you’re doing more than they could imagine” I quietly mumble to him, holding his face in my hands as he gazes at me with a broken look, his heart yearning for acceptance and appreciation. I pull him into my arms, holding him in a tight embrace as he hiccups and sobs against me, my eyes watering at the cries he lets out. He shakes in my arms as I rock us side to side, occasionally pressing a kiss here and there to his head, whispering sweet praises into his ear as he lets everything out.

“I just want to make everyone happy, but it feels like no ones ever happy with what I do. I’m either too energetic or I’m too boring, I’m too loud or I’m too quiet, I’m too this or I’m too that. Why can’t I just be me and have that be enough” he whispers, his voice cracking as he speaks, looking up at me with pleading eyes, wanting nothing but a way to make his heart stop hurting. I watch him with sad eyes, not knowing how to make things better, because there are just some things that are out of my reach, though I so desperately wish I could change the way things are. “I get compared every day to all of these other people, but I can never just be Ruel. There’s always something more to it. I can’t even grow my hair the way I want it without people complaining or wear what I want without getting side remarks, why can’t people just accept me for me. I’m tired of trying to make everyone happy when I’m not happy anymore” he admits, resting his head against my neck as I hold him, finally realizing that this is a lot more than just stress from the team today, but rather built up stress from all the things this lifestyle and career brings with it.

I pull him up and rest him against the headboard as an idea makes its way to the front of my brain, before making my way to my duffle bag on the floor, grabbing all the supplies I need and making my way over to him. He watches me with curious eyes as I turn on the light in the room, sniffles leaving him every now and then as he sits silently, his eyes looking over all the things I have set out in front of us on the bed. I grab his phone and unlock it, putting on his playlist that always makes him feel better, and grabbing my two headbands that I packed in case of events like this. I pull myself on to his lap, his hands instantly going to my hips as he holds me on place, and reach my own hands up to wipe the last of his tears before pressing a kiss to both of his eyelids. I grab the headband and place it over his head, pulling it back up to push the front pieces of his hair back that had fallen out of the bun, and passing him mine so he could put it on me like he always does.

“I know I can’t take the pain away, but I hope I can help ease it” I whisper as he puts my hair up and pushes the headband in place, before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his pouted lips, smiling when it coaxes a small smile to rise. I grab a few of the face masks that I have set up before showing him all of them, knowing he likes to choose which one we do, even if he goes off of color rather than what it’s supposed to do. He grabs the pink jelly face mask, only liking it because of the glitter that’s inside of it, and sets it on my lap while moving the other ones to the bedside table. “I just want to tell you that you’re good enough. You’re always good enough, even when you don’t feel like it.” I remind him, using my applicator brush to put an even layer across his skin, smiling as the glitter shines in the light. He watches me silently as I finish applying everything, before he takes the brush from my hand and puts the mask on my face, his eyes concentrated as he spreads it across my skin.

“I love you” he croaks out, his voice deep from crying and exhaustion, and his eyes conveying how much he truly means what he’s saying. I give him a small smile and pucker my lips for a kiss, laughing when he does the same, trying to avoid our sticky skin from touching. “I can’t explain how much I love you, but you’re my best friend, and I’m thankful for you and everything you do for me.” He barely gets out before my eyes water, having already been emotional from seeing him so upset, to being emotional because he’s the best thing to ever happen to me. He lets out a quiet laugh when he notices my watery eyes, rubbing my hips with small strokes from his thumbs, wanting to kiss me but knowing the disaster that would take place because of the masks still drying.

“I love you too. We’re best friends for life, but I’m lucky that my best friend is also the love of my life, since not a lot of people get that” I tell him, both of us just relishing in the presence of one another, knowing that we’ve always got each other to lean on when things get rough. I lightly pat on his face, feeling the masks rubbery texture, before slowly peeling it off and waiting for him to peel mine off, laughing at his excited expression. He grabs the discarded face masks and sets them down, picking up my favorite serum and applying it for both of us, smiling when close my eyes as he rubs it into my skin. “I know today was rough, but tomorrow will be better. You’re going to kill it at your show and I’m going to be right there watching you from backstage, because I’m your biggest fan and I always will be. Just like how you’re always my biggest fan” I smile up at him, closing my eyes when he leans down to press a kiss to my lips, laughing when he pushes me back and lays on top of me, pressing kisses across my freshly moisturized skin.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, you’re literally the only thing that keeps me sane” he mumbles, grinning as I look up at him through hazy tired eyes, laughing when I whine as he gets off of the bed. He puts away all of the skin products, throwing away the used face masks, and turning off the lights before coming back to me. He gets settled on the bed, taking our headbands off and tossing them on to the night stand, before pressing his back against my chest, and humming in content as I wrap myself around him, caging him away from the stresses of the world. We lay in silence for a little bit, having switched the playlist to his ‘sleepy time’ one, his calm breathing ghosting over my arms that rest around his shoulders and neck. “I’m sorry about my breakdown today, I guess things just finally caught up to me and it hurts. It hurts to feel like people don’t want the real you, but rather the person they’ve made you to be in their head. I’m a real person with real feelings, but I think a lot of them see me as a manufactured person here for their entertainment.” He tells me, feeling more at ease to open up about the thoughts clouding his mind. I hum in agreement at his words, knowing that a lot of people tend to forget that he’s not just some pop star they can fantasize about, but a person who has their good days and their bad days.

“I know Bubba, I know. You just need to keep being you, because you’re enough. If they can’t accept you and what makes you happy, then they don’t truly love you the way they say they do. Just so you know, I love when you grow out your mustache, or grow out your hair, it makes you look extra handsome” I mumble, giggling when he laughs at my words, knowing how much I mean it from the distracted glances and subconscious stares he notices time to time. “You’re perfect the way you are, even if they don’t like it. Whether it be you screaming and dancing around during rehearsal, or silently sitting in a practice room, because you’re just being you.” I remind him, knowing he won’t be able to see himself through my eyes, but hoping one day he can love himself the way I do. He’s the sun in a sea of regular stars, color in a world of nothing but black and white, and a sunflower in a field of roses.

“I’m lucky to have you, thank you my love. Goodnight, I love you” he mumbles, his brain finally slowing down as my words reach his ears, peace settling in to his heart. He barely hears my reply as I mutter back my response, pressing a kiss to the back of his shoulder as he finally surrenders to the fatigue plaguing his body, slowly easing against me in my arms as he drifts off into a dreamworld where life is easier and happier than what we get here on earth.

I hold him as the music softly floats throughout the room, the quiet rumble of the tour bus driving through the empty streets, hidden beneath the voice of frank ocean. My heart aches and hopes for a better day tomorrow, knowing my beautiful boy deserves nothing but peace and happiness, because there’s not another soul out there that’s as bright as his.

“I wish you could see yourself the way I do” I mumble into the dark room, my eyes finally shutting as sleep takes over.

#one ruel #ruel #ruelvincentvandijk #ruel van dijk #ruel x reader #ruel imagines #ruel imagine #ruel fanfic #ruel one shot #imagines #one shot #imagine #x reader #free time ep

[fanficflaneuse]

Princess Charming And The Gentleman in Distress

Index

A/N: I wrote this for my beautiful friend @the-hufflefluffwriter​ who loves Lucissa and helped me explore this ship. I loved writing this and I hope you like it as well <3

Lucius x Narcissa 

Word count: 1530 

Summary: Narcissa asks Lucius on a date. 

Ever since he had gotten to Hogwarts, Lucius Malfoy walked about the school grounds like a dandy. He was handsome and intelligent, qualities he knew he possessed and was not afraid to flaunt them in and out of class. He kept mostly to himself and talked to a very selected few. This rubbed most students the wrong way, as they assumed the was just another stuck up, entitled pureblood.

Which he was, to an extent.

Lucius was raised to be the perfect heir of a long line of (mostly) pure blooded wizards and witches, after all. He behaved with the propriety and decorum he was expected to, but that was not the reason why he wouldn’t engage with most people.

In reality, he knew he wasn’t half as charming as he imagined himself to be. He could get really dorky about things he was passionate about, like potion making or reading. He was an expert in lots of random things. He knew the events of the XVI century’s witch hunts and Anne Boleyn’s biography by heart. He loved animals, especially peacocks and learned every fact about them. He was kind-hearted, sensitive and open to new ideas, characteristics his father scorned.

Through the years, Lucius had curated an image of perfection he wasn’t willing to lose. And he wasn’t going to let anyone use his true colours against him like his father did.

So, as he walked to the prefects’ carriage, his shiny new badge pinned to his robes, he procured to maintain his composure. Nobody could’ve guessed how proud and excited he was about his new position. His mask of poise fell for a minute when he saw who the other Slytherin prefect was.

Narcissa Black was probably the most popular girl in their year. She was beautiful and dignified, with the aristocratic flair that accompanied her last name. She was also brilliant and had a way with people that made her the centre of attention wherever she went. She was a beater and the star of the Slytherin quidditch team. Narcissa laughed and the world stopped to listen. She was everything Lucius tried to convey and wasn’t.

They had never talked to each other. Narcissa had a lot of suitors, but the only two boys she really talked to apart from her teammates were Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, who dated her older sisters.

As he sat next to her, one single thought crossed his mind: Salazar, this is going to be very, very awkward.

…

“So, are you really thinking about filling your manor with albino peacocks?” she asked, laughter in her voice.

“Of course! They are beautiful, noble creatures. Once I’m the owner, I’ll have them everywhere,” he answered humorously and yet dead serious.

“What a joy to whoever marries you, Malfoy.”

As the months went by, Narcissa and Lucius struck up a very particular friendship. Little by little, he opened up to her. She was endeared by every arbitrary piece of knowledge he had to share with her. She loved how he listened intently to whatever she had to say and he’d ask real questions without ever being nosy. Narcissa found someone who understood her insecurities, someone who not only valued her wittiness but always had a perfect comeback for her. They were overly dramatic together, balancing the etiquette demanded by their families with playfulness.

Their nightly rounds suddenly became the highlight of their weeks. Every day, Lucius would try to find more creative ways to flirt. As the friendship grew, so did his attraction for Narcissa and he was dying to ask her out.

“That could be you, you know?” he said smugly.

Narcissa looked at him, an eyebrow raised. She knew Lucius liked her; he wasn’t subtle at all. And she liked him back, but she knew better than to show him that. Her sisters had taught her well.

“Oh, I know that approach too well, Malfoy. My mother warned me about guys like you.” She crossed her arms playfully.

“Oh, really? So, she warned you about handsome, intelligent and absolutely talented guys like me?” he shot back.

Narcissa laughed, a full-blown laugh that left her breathless. Lucius felt satisfied.

“No, you fool. She told me about those men, too eager to get a proper lady for a wife and a line of mistresses and bastards on the side,” she said dramatically.

It was Lucius’ turn to look at her as though she had gone mad. “And I am one of those?”

“Definitely.”

“Cissa, I can count with one hand the amount of people I talk to. If anything, you are the one who might be searching for a proper gentleman for a husband and a line of lovers on the side,” he countered.

“Not going to lie, I definitely like that idea. The swap of gender roles sounds refreshing,” she beamed back.

He shook his head as a smile played on his lips. “You’re going to be the death of me, Narcissa Black.”

Narcissa smiled. They were already walking back to the Slytherin common room. She knew everything her sisters had told her about not showing too much interest. Andromeda was particularly adamant about this; she had shown the slightest bit of interest for Rabastan and he acted smug for months before asking her out. But she wondered how long she’d have to wait before Lucius made a move. Narcissa didn’t know many more nights of playful banter she could take. Patience wasn’t her forte, as much as her father told her it was the most important quality to cultivate.

Her heart was beating fast on her chest when they arrived to their common room. She decided to get over with it already.

“Cissa.”

“Take me to Hogsmeade next weekend,” she blurted out. Her tone was demanding, not allowing the least beat of doubt to show on her features.

Lucius nodded slowly, not able to disguise his surprise at her bravery.

…

Lucius offered his arm to Narcissa, who linked it with hers. They were very close to each other, enough for her to notice how her date was shivering. It was snowing as they walk to Hogsmeade. Narcissa took the necessary precautions when she chose her garments for the day. She looked beautiful, as always, but she was also properly dressed for the weather. Lucius, on the other hand, had sacrificed comfort for style and now he was freezing to the bone and pretending like everything was fine.

Narcissa could tell he couldn’t wait to arrive at Madam Puddifoot’s and get his hands on steaming cup of tea. She decided it was her moment to act gallantly; she had asked him out, after all. She took off her green scarf and put it around his neck. Once again, Lucius was taken aback by her attitude, but he couldn’t deny the scarf made a big difference.

They smiled at each other sweetly, but she knew she couldn’t let this opportunity pass. She was loving the whole “princess charming and gentleman in distress” situation.

“You know, Malfoy? I love seeing you in my clothes.”

Lucius’ face was already too red from the cold for Narcissa to notice the blush, so he decided to play along with her. “You’ve seen nothing, Black. I’d look fabulous in one of your skirts.”

She giggled. “That confidence makes me think it wouldn’t be the first time you wear someone’s skirt.”

“It would be,” he said, “I’m just so handsome I can pull anything off.”

Narcissa rolled her eyes playfully.

“Your confidence, on the other hand, makes me think it isn’t the first time a guy uses your clothes,” he retaliated.

“Oh, it’s definitely not the first time,” she said offhandedly, noticing how Lucius’ confident smile vanished from his beautiful face. “My cousin Sirius looks so pretty in my dresses. You have no idea!”

Lucius snorted. He pushed the door to Madam Puddifoot’s. A tinkle announced their arrival. The place was tacky and over the top, with ribbons and frills in every possible pastel colour. It was, anyhow, classier than the Three Broomsticks and Lucius had wanted to take her on the very best date possible.

As they sat down, Lucius inched forward and whispered something that could’ve probably scandalized any other proper lady he knew: “You’d look great in my clothes, Black.”

“Oh, Malfoy,” she retorted, her smile hinting an incredibly witty response, “you’ll have to go to hell and back before I wear your clothes.”

…

Lucius woke up to an empty bed. He sat up, scanning the room in search of his wife. He noticed sounds coming from the bathroom and laid back, waiting for Mrs. Malfoy to emerge. Narcissa came back to their bed wearing Lucius’ robe. He smiled at the sight and open his arms for her. She gladly complied and snuggled to her husband.

“You know, Cissa?” whispered Lucius, never missing the chance to mess with his wife.

“Yes?”

“Going to hell and back wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be,” he teased.

Narcissa filled the room with the wholehearted chortles only reserved for her husband and Lucius couldn’t feel any happier.

#lucissa #lucius malfoy #lucius malfoy x narcissa malfoy #narcissa malfoy #narcissa black #narcissa #lucius #lucius malfoy x narcissa black #lucius x narcissa #lucissa fic #lucissa fanfiction #lucissa fanfic #narcissa malfoy fluff #harry potter fluff #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfics

[huntress1024]

Crashing the Masquerade: (Tyril x MC)

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 2k

Summary: This is my first ever fanfic, and it’s just how I imagined the Blades gang getting ready for the masquerade! I love the dynamic of their group!! 😊 lemme know if you want to be tagged!

Taglist: @queerbrujas​

Nia chatters excitedly as Adrina braids her hair, “Just imagine! The music, the lights, the magic!” She bounces up and down at the vanity and Adrina almost pokes her with a pearl hair pin as a result.

Imtura, already in her elegant forest green and gold ensemble, scowls from the window seat. “You do realize we’re on a mission tonight, right Nia? We can’t exactly dance the night away while simultaneously waiting for a murderer to strike.”

I expect Nia to blush in her typical fashion, but I am absolutely surprised when she turns in her seat to grin at Imtura. “You look too lovely to be so cross tonight, Immy. Has it crossed your mind that we can do both?”

Our orc companion gapes, before quickly recovering and muttering under her breath, “I am going to kill Mal.” She aggressively tugs at the dress’s waistline for the third time in five minutes.

I laugh and motion for her to stand and turn around. “You have to admit, it’s a cute nickname. And Mal says it with love.” My long, nimble fingers make quick work of the gold lacings at her lower back, loosening them ever so slightly. “Better?”

She breathes a huge sigh of relief. “Much.” With a wicked glint in her eyes, she gives me a pat on the back that leaves me winded from her orc strength. “Thanks, Zammy.”

Nia clamps a hand over her mouth, but a giggle escapes anyway. I roll my eyes at the joke. “That will never catch on.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s rather catchy.” Mal waltzes in the room unannounced, Threep perched comfortably on his shoulder. 

He wears a dusty charcoal jacket with coattails, gold plating running along the shoulders, arms, and belt area. A marble mask covers half of his face, adorned with a gold wing. The look is distinctly Mal, bold and daring, but refined and noble as well. He winks at me, catching my eye. “Well? Do I pass for a snooty noble?”

I laugh, nodding appreciatively at his look. “I don’t think snooty is in your genes, but yes, you look great. Threep, did you help him with this?”

The nesper, smug as ever, flaps his wings in a haughty manner as he gives Mal a once-over. “Indeed. Perhaps you will learn to respect my wisdom, Valori.”

Mal scoffs, dropping Threep in Imtura’s arms. “That’ll be the day. Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m gonna go check on elf boy.”

Usually I would laugh at the joke, but instead my heart clenches, thinking of the current state Tyril must be in. “Has anyone been able to talk to him yet?” Mal, Nia, Imtura, and Threep sadly shake their heads, and I sigh in disappointment. On our party’s trek back from the catacombs, I had tried to come up with something to say, but what could possibly have been said to erase the agony he was feeling? I opted for silence instead, staying by his side the whole time. He had brushed his fingers against mine before he headed to his quarters to prepare for the masquerade, and I have not seen or heard from him since.

Mal gives me a dry smile, trying to cheer me up. “I’ll just tease him about whatever the hell he’s wearing. His pompous, stick-in-the-mud attitude that we all know, and love will come back, trust me.” He snatches an apple from the bowl on the vanity before leaving the room. I turn away from Threep’s praise of Imtura’s dress and her mumbled retorts to join Nia and Adrina at the vanity as the Lady of House Starfury recounts stories from previous masquerades. “Last year, the gorgeous Lord of House Moonfall asked me to dance. Three times.”

Nia gasps, delighted. “Really? What was he like?”

Adrina chuckles, smiling at the faraway memory. “Oh, we hardly talked. I was so nervous to be in his presence that I couldn’t seem to get two words out. And he was such an excellent dancer, I did not want to say anything that would ruin the moment. I would have danced with him all night if I could, but Tyril scolded me, telling me it was ‘improper’ to not switch partners after an extended period of time.”

“Well, hopefully he’ll be singing a different tune after tonight,” I say, smirking. “I don’t intend to let go of him.”

Adrina tips her head back, cackling. “Oh, that will be a sight to see. Tyril is horribly proper when it comes to public appearances, but if anyone can help him loosen up, it’s you Zamira.” She places the final pin in Nia’s fiery braid, then offers her a hand to help her rise from the chair. Nia squeals at the sight of herself, twirling and letting the voluminous skirt fly around her. “I look like a princessss!!” She exclaims, dancing a little jig that has Adrina and me laughing.

“You look stunning, Nia.” The dress features various shades of blue, from sheer mint long sleeves to a cerulean corset, and indigo and navy skirts that give a starry twinkle when she moves. Embroidered flowers and vines grow along the dress, and her blue and gold mask compliments her lovely golden-brown skin. “Lords won’t be able to take their eyes off of you!”

She blushes delicately, giving me a bashful smile. “I do not know about that, but I’m flattered all the same.” Her meek mood dissipates as she shoots me a mischievous grin that is surprisingly more Mal Valori than Nia Ellarious. Perhaps he is finally corrupting her, I muse before Nia interrupts my thoughts. “Besides, you and I both know there is one lord who will be positively indisposed tonight when he sees a certain lady.”

Now I’m the one who is blushing, but I refuse to let a bloody priestess know she got the better of me. I feel my face trying to suppress the pleased beam that threatens to take over, but it’s no use as I reply, “Hmm. I don’t know who you’re referring to, but I’ll take the compliment nonetheless.”

“No one will be ogling you tonight if you go in that horrid potato sack of a dress,” Threep says matter-of-factly, sniffing the intimidating golden horns from the shoulders of Imtura’s dress. “Just out of curiosity, are these tipped with poison? It would make for an excellent weapon against Kaya tonight.”

Imtura gapes, outraged. “That was an option? Why didn’t anyone tell me?!”

“Can we come back to the ‘potato sack’ comment?” I snap, glaring at Threep. “Tell me, Oh Wise One, whatever shall I wear to satisfy you?”

Completely oblivious to the sarcasm, he straightens his posture in Imtura’s arms, studies me with that wide and unblinking stare of his, and definitively replies, “Butterflies.”

Okay, I was not expecting that. “Um, is that supposed to be a color?” I ask lamely.

“No, you simpleton. Butterflies signify transformation, renewal, light. For you, Zamira, I find it a very fitting concept.” Adrina immediately leaves the room, shooting me an excited smile over her shoulder while doing so.

“It’s true!” Nia chimes in encouragingly, taking my rough hands into her soft ones. “You’ve come such a long way from the girl I met in Riverbend who just wanted to escape and go on an adventure.”

I blush at her words and give her a playful push. “You’ve come a long way too, Priestess. I wouldn’t even know how to use my Light if it weren’t for you. Scholar Vash would be proud.” Her eyes brim with tears at my words, and I give her a hug, brief but strong. A light breeze brushes my skin, and I turn to see Adrina proudly holding a dress to me, and my heart stops at the sight. “Oh, Adrina…you shouldn’t have.”

She shakes her head, pushing the dress towards me. “Nonsense. You have done so much for my brother in these past few months, and I cannot properly express my gratitude for it, but this will have to do for now.”

If not for the excitement already bubbling inside of me, the hopeful spark in her eyes would have done me in.  I gently take the dress from her hands, nodding in thanks, and duck behind the changing screen. The dress is easy to put on, and I am pleasantly surprised by how light and airy it feels against my skin. I step out shyly from behind the screen, and Nia, Adrina, Imtura, even Threep gasp at the sight of me.

The dress is composed of a faint sky-blue tulle fabric, the color strongest at the bodice and slowly fading to a white with subtle traces of lavender and pink when the light catches it so. It is sleeveless, but on each shoulder a flower in the very same shade as the lavender accents pin tulle identical to the color of the dress so that it flows behind me like a cape. True to Threep’s word, lavender and cerulean butterflies grace the waistline and front of the dress. I feel ethereal in this dress with the colors of a dawn sky, a delightful contrast to my dark skin, and I grin at Adrina, hoping it is enough to convey how much I love it. It works, for she smiles back and makes quick work of my white hair to pin it into a regal low bun, and adds the finishing touch to the ensemble: a lace silver mask inset with crystals that spans across my face and ends just at my nose.

Imtura breaks the silence first, lips curling in mischief. “I’m no fashion expert, but ladies…I’d say we’re ready to piss off some pretentious elves!” She lets out a cheer, passing Threep to Adrina before charging from the room, not even checking to see if Nia and I follow before she leaps onto the crumbling banister and speeds downward to the once grand foyer. I give Nia a shrug before linking my arm with hers, ad we say a quick farewell to Adrina and Threep before descending the staircase to join Imtura and, not originally noticing him from his veiled position in the shadows until we hear the unmistakable scolding voice belonging to no other, Tyril.

“While I am aware of your opinion towards my kind, I implore you to behave in a manner tonight that will not add to their suspicion of us. We will need as few eyes on us as possible if we are going to succeed in obtaining the Scepter.”

“You mean fewer eyes than the ones openly judging you for showing your face around here and bringing the riff raff into Undermount’s pearly gates? Gee, Tyril, you always ask so little of us, somewhat of a challenge would be appreciated,” Imtura snaps, words dripping in sarcasm from her fangs.

Tyril sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose before continuing, “Please. Just try. After tonight, you can drop kick as many of my people as you would like, but tonight, do try to be civil.”

“I think you mean our people,” I say teasingly, trying to lighten the mood once Nia and I have reached the bottom step. Tyril, completely unaware of our descent during his tense exchange with Imtura, snaps to attention and turns to greet us, lips pressed in a tense line before they part in a mesmerized “Oh” at the sight of me. Normally I would glow with pride under his stare, but I’m too busy trying to keep my own mouth from dropping in kind as I take in his appearance.

The outfit bears similarities in style to his everyday armor on our journey, but the colors are pure Starfury. He poses a striking figure in the royal blue and silver armor that extends from his chest to his abdomen, a magnificent steel belt with a royal blue gemstone in the center to accent it all. His shoulders and forearms are adorned in imposing armor the color of an angry sea, and a stormy grey cape clasped by a brooch across his chest. His mask is pure silver encrusted with sapphires and crystals, only accentuating his piercing blue eyes even more. Lord Starfury indeed. It wasn’t hard to imagine him hosting parties and being a prominent political figure in the Undermount hierarchy, not in this outfit where he was the embodiment of a lightning storm.

In a surprise reversal of roles, I am the one at a loss for words, and he is reveling in the idea. My blood rushes through my body as he bows before me, taking my hand and kissing it with such reverence and admiration before meeting my eyes and pulling his lips away, murmuring “My lady” against my skin in a manner that has me blushing furiously. I move to stand beside him, intertwining my fingers with his, grateful for his presence and leadership, despite everything he must be feeling after the catacombs. I squeeze his hand, hoping to express that and more to him, and when he squeezes back, I know he understands.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” Mal calls as he saunters down the staircase, smirking at the sight of us all waiting for him.

“I wouldn’t have pegged you for the dramatic entrance type,” Imtura crows, sticking a foot out in an attempt to trip him as he steps down from the last one, which he deftly hops over.

“What can I say? I’m an insufferable ass.” He offers his left arm for Nia, and his right one for Imtura. “Hope you ladies can tolerate me as escort for tonight.”

Nia curls her fingers around his arm, giggling. “Of course, Mal the Magnificent.”

The rogue turns to me and Tyril with a triumphant glint in his eyes. “See? It was only a matter of time before it caught on!”

In typical Tyril fashion, my elven escort gives an annoyed humph. “I’d sooner be corrupted by the Shadow Court than call you that.”

“Ah. I see even a party can’t loosen up Tyril the Tyrant.”

Even hidden by the mask, I can see Tyril’s sculpted eyebrows rising in horror as he splutters, “Wha—How dare yo—”

Nia, ever the peacekeeper, gracefully interjects “Oh, look, there’s the carriage!” And with that, our party of five sets off into the night, ready to crash a ball.

#blades of light and shadow #blades of light and shadow fanfic #tyril starfury #tyril x mc #mal volari #nia ellarious #imtura tal kaelen #choices fanfic #playchoices

[ckret2]

Eddie Eats A Map

Written for @symbruary Day 11: "romance". Featuring Morbius again because I've been meaning to bring some Venom/Morbius into the world for forever.

Honestly this is less "actual romance" and more "being friends and also there's secret attraction that might be one-sided" but like... it's pre-romance. Also Eddie mentions being married to symby so there's your romance. Also this was supposed to be two scenes and the second scene was going to have more romance but then this got long, I'll use my Free Space day to write the second scene or something.

My friends, I've never read an issue actually set in Monster Metropolis, my description is based off the wiki and posts I’ve seen other people make on it. Please forgive any inaccuracies.

###

Eddie studied the crude map.

"I'm trusting you with this," Morbius said solemnly. "Both not to abuse this information and not to let it fall into the wrong hands. Memorize and then destroy the map—"

Without bothering to check if anyone else in the 24 hour diner was looking their way, the symbiote stretched Venom's mouth across Eddie's face and they stuffed the map into their maw.

Morbius froze mid-sentence, mouth open behind his disposable face mask.

Venom slurped down the fang-shredded paper and then grinned at Morbius for just a second before their fangs receded back into Eddie's face and their skin melted and oozed back into Eddie's pores. Eddie wiped some green slime off his chin with his thumb and took a sip from his mug of hot chocolate, smirking.

Morbius glanced around the diner to make sure nobody noticed—the whole point of Morbius's wearing a mask and Venom's keeping their slimier half stored on the inside had been so that they could meet on the street level without immediately being pegged as monsters—but the other three late night/early morning diners looked half asleep at their tables and the waitress was boredly watching her phone. Morbius turned back to Eddie and stammered, "Yeah, that���that accomplishes the task. But you shouldn't do that again."

"You were saying?" Eddie prompted, digging into his omelet. "About Monster Metropolis?"

"Right." Morbius tried to collect his thoughts. "This city has already suffered more than its share of traumas. Just a few years ago it was nearly destroyed. I know all you've done to help and protect the dinosaur-people—the Moloids have brought a couple to the metropolis and they speak very highly of you. I know you can keep this metropolis secret as well."

Eddie nodded, slowly lifting a bite of omelet to his mouth. He didn't comment until he'd swallowed. "I’m not sure we like how you say 'can,' there. Like you know we can but aren't sure we will."

Morbius hesitated. "Not everyone in this metropolis is what you might personally consider 'innocent.'"

"Ah."

"But we protect them anyway," Morbius insisted. "Not from the consequences of their actions, but from the persecution based on their nature that they would face on the surface. When they cause trouble, we handle it internally. We won't have our city exposed to the surface world again and its cruelty again. I'm asking you to agree to that much."

Something in Eddie's expression shifted at the word persecution. Morbius was sure he had his empathy then—hopefully the other's, too, although it was hard to tell. In all the times Morbius had overheard Venom talking to themself, he couldn't recall ever hearing them disagree with each other; but surely it had to happen; and he was well aware that, as often as they agreed, their thoughts weren't identical. Why would they need to talk to themselves at all if they were?

And every once in a while Eddie said something in a slightly different voice—it wasn't as obvious when Venom spoke, but it was when Eddie spoke—and Morbius got the impression that he wasn't sharing his own thoughts so much as conveying something his other had asked him to say. He didn't think in those moments the alien had actually seized control of Eddie's vocal cords to speak its on mind, just asked Eddie to speak for it; but the difference was still audible.

When Morbius was around Venom, he had long since gotten past the eerie feeling that an uninvited third party was listening in on a one-on-one conversation, and instead moved on to the entirely new eerie feeling that he was having a conversation with two people but one of them was dead silent except to occasionally whisper in the other's ear.

"We notice you gave us the map before checking whether we'd agree to your terms," Eddie said. "And you're not getting the map back. Why the show of trust?"

Morbius had been hoping Venom wouldn't look that gift horse in the mouth. But, since they'd asked... "For three reasons," he said. "First... if I'd been considering this a few years ago, before you two..." He puzzled over the appropriate wording for a moment. "Separated?" He thought broke up might sound too intimate.

But Eddie nodded in confirmation. "Temporarily separated to work on our marriage."

Marriage. That word hit heavily. He pushed his own reaction aside. Oh, okay, he should have leaned toward more intimate. Talking to Eddie and his other was a constant exercise in reminding himself to underestimate the nature of their relationship a little less. "Before you temporarily separated, I wouldn't have given you the map. But the person—people?—that you are now, I believe I can trust with it. But I'm having to take it on faith that you're going to keep being who you are now rather than who you were then. If you get my meaning."

Eddie smiled tiredly. "Believe me, that's what we want, too." He sighed. "All we've ever wanted—before and after our separation—is to be a hero together. It's... just been a process getting there. You know," he shrugged, looking down at his half-eaten meal, "had to work on ourselves a while, had to work on our relationship..."

Morbius nodded, trying to look less mystified than he was from wondering what an alien goo had to work on. He supposed anything with sentience and emotions must have personal issues worth working on—he just couldn't imagine what they actually were. That silent third participant in the conversation he knew so little about. "The change is evident. Both from seeing you in in the news and from talking to you."

Eddie smiled sheepishly. It wasn't a common look on his face. "I'm going to take that as approval of where we are now rather than as an indictment of where we were then."

"That's how I meant it."

"Good."

"And second," Morbius said, figuring they were probably more than ready to move on from even this relatively gentle critique of their (comparatively) wild days, "Monster Metropolis is, first and foremost, a haven for the nonhuman people that humanity considers monsters. And your other is nothing if not seen as a monster. If it ever needs somewhere safe to run, I want it to be able to find the metropolis." Morbius didn't know a lot about what Venom was doing when they weren't in the news—and even then, their newsworthy appearances were less in-depth interviews and more cryptid sightings—but he got the impression Eddie and the symbiote spent more time than either would like getting violently separated and scrambling to reconnect. That wasn't easy when you had to live a life restricted to dark alleyways and deep tunnels. Maybe Monster Metropolis could make it easier for them to find each other again—or at least give the symbiote a haven where it could hide and a community that could help it locate its missing home/partner. "Of course, you're welcome there too, Eddie, I don't want to slight you—but Monster Metropolis does primarily exist for the monsters."

At first, Morbius thought Eddie had flinched; then realized it was more of a ripple, his very skin itself—or something under his skin—stirring.

"What is it?"

"Was that visible? Sorry." Eddie picked up his hot chocolate again, noted it was empty, and picked up Morbius's. (Morbius had thought he should order something to look a little less strange, and Eddie had told him he wouldn't mind a second drink.) "You uh, surprised us—particularly my other. It's not used to it being the one to receive the invitation and me being its 'plus one' guest. In fact, it usually only happens when someone in a lab coat wants to prod it a while and hope that a superpower falls out." Eddie had that voice on—the one Morbius thought meant he was reporting the symbiote's thoughts rather than his own. It sounded just slightly more professional—like a journalist reporting a paraphrase of someone else's statements rather than giving his own opinion. He took a sip before giving Morbius a wan smile. "You got a Nobel for some kind of biochemistry thing, right? You wouldn't happen to be doing any kind of research that might benefit from an amorphous alien that can alter its host on a cellular level, would you?"

Morbius would be lying if he said he'd never wondered if there was a distant chance the symbiote might be able to help with his own condition—but he certainly wasn't wondering it right now. "I'm inviting you as a guest, not as a test subject." He meant that comment directed to the symbiote, not to Eddie—would that be obvious to them? Was it even appropriate for him to speak directly to the symbiote? It was much easier, psychologically speaking, to direct comments to the person visibly sitting in front of him as though asking Eddie to pass the message on; but the symbiote was sitting in front of him too. Why should he speak to Eddie instead of to it?

Eddie twitched in surprise again. For a moment, the surfaces of his eyes were covered in porcelain white and his grin was filled with sharp teeth. Message received, apparently. "Every once in a while, we meet a scientist we can trust. We think you're probably one of them."

"Thank you. I'd like to be."

Eddie's face was back to normal when he returned to his omelet. "So what's the third?"

"The what?"

"You said there were three reasons you gave us the map?"

Oh right he had said that. He shouldn't have said that.  "Yes—right," he said. "Third. I've found that I... Your company is pleasant, when we cross paths." He was careful to understate just how much he'd found himself growing fond of their infrequent meetings. He wasn't sure how welcome a full confession would be. ("Our marriage," Eddie had said. How literal was that? Morbius had already assumed Venom came as a package deal—Eddie and symbiote both—but the word "marriage" implied a certain level of unavailability, didn't it? Not that his hopes had ever been high—nor his expectations even fully conceptualized—but...) "But we only cross paths rarely—and usually only when one crisis or another has driven us outside our usual haunts. I thought it might be nice to... hang out outside of work, as it were?"

Eddie snorted. "You don't look like the kind of man who tends to 'hang out,'" he said. "You don't even look like the kind of man who says the words 'hang out.'"

"You—don't look like the kind of man who drinks hot chocolate," said Morbius, stupidly, mainly so that he had some kind of retort.

Eddie considered that, then shrugged, as if to say fair enough. "You like our company enough that you're willing to risk your monster sanctuary over it?"

"No," Morbius said sharply. "I'm willing to risk it for the first two reasons. Still, your company is... a contributing factor."

"Huh." Eddie drank down the rest of his hot chocolate. "Flattering."

Morbius grimaced. (He was glad for his mask.) He thought that could have gone over better.

"Guess we'll have to make a visit soon then. Are you going to be around in the next few days?"

That had gone over better than he thought. "I don't have a set schedule, but I try to visit the metropolis at least a couple times a week."

"Sounds like our schedule. The hard lives of busy heroes, huh?"

Morbius wouldn't have picked heroes as the first word that fit the three of them—monsters, more likely—or freaks—but there was something comforting about the fact that Venom did. Even if their history with heroism was somewhat checkered. "Afraid so."

"Well, we'll keep swinging by when we're free. Eventually we'll both be around at the same time, right?"

"Eventually." Morbius was well-known enough in Monster Metropolis that Venom would be able to just ask around to find out whether he was in town; and Venom stood out enough, even among monsters, that Morbius would be able to just as easily ask about him.

"Sounds like a plan." Eddie turned and waved his hand, catching the waitress's eye. "Hey. Separate checks, please."

"You want me to pay for the hot chocolate you drank?"

"You ordered it," Eddie said, smirking. "We're halfway to broke and we're also paying for an omelet, you can cover a hot chocolate."

Morbius gave him an affronted look. But he sighed and dug into his pocket for his wallet when the waitress dropped their checks off.

Once she was out of earshot again, Eddie asked wryly, "Regret saying you want to hang out with us yet?"

"No," Morbius said, "although you do a fine job of trying to make me regret it at least once per meeting."

Eddie smirked again—this time, the fangs were back. "I guess we'll have to keep trying."

###

Like I said I planned two scenes but uhhh, it's late. Next one in the next few days. Anyway this is a fine standalone piece, enjoy.

Crossposted to AO3, link in my description. If you enjoyed, I'd appreciate a comment or reblog.

#venom #symbiote #eddie brock #venom symbiote #morbius #symbruary #fanfic #my writing

[elmidol]

The Chain of Loyalty

Three Blind Tooke Part Two Precarious Harmony

Read on AO3

Warnings: none

Three Blind Tooke

Part Two: Precarious Harmony

Chapter Forty: The Chain of Loyalty

 Life bleeds lies, some of which are those that spill from our very lips. All of your experiences since leaving home had educated you in seeing through those falsehoods and reading the concealed truths. One such lie was that the absence of Kylo Ren would have no large impact on how your mind and body functioned. The distance started when he strode up the ramp of the Command Shuttle following the departure of Grand Marshal Hux and Captain Phasma. Each step a light beating on the back of your legs that would either cause you to lose your balance or shove you forward to chase after him. The finality of his leaving you on Naboo was a reminder that one day the war would end. One day you would return to your mother, and he would...leave? The discussion was one that had never occured. You remained ignorant of his plans. This birthed a terrible sense of deep loneliness and abandonment.

 The thing that rocked you to your core was the depth of this silent agony when there had been countless departures on his side in the past. Your history with the Force user was riddled with pockets of Renless nights. While training in the Resistance there had always been Kylo Ren in the form of holovids and training exercises. The physical absence had not mattered there. As his prisoner aboard the Finalizer or while on Starkiller Base, the visitations from the stormtroopers served as a constant reminder that the man was never really gone. Even on the occasions that you had started to suspect Kylo had at long last grown tired of your existence and left you to rot in a cell, it hadn’t felt so dreadful.

 Perhaps this was due in part to the freedom he now offered. You were on familiar ground, on the planet of your birth, and it would be quite simple for you to pull yourself away from the ongoing war. Stick your head in the metaphorical sand. You could run away from all responsibilities.

 Except that was one of the largest lies that existed. Your husband had to know that. It may very well have been one of the traits in you that he adored; he had said so, albeit using different phrases to convey that same message. Stubborn tooke. It was not hard to deduce the true reason this separation dealt you a blow. In this instance, you were not under the control of another. There were no Force mind tricks. Kylo Ren was genuinely trusting you to carry out this mission. These actions of his bespoke the truth that the First Order’s new Supreme Leader, your husband, had accepted you as an ally.

 You did not wish to be known as a traitor. If you betrayed Kylo Ren’s trust… If you betrayed the Resistance by fully joining your husband in his quest… There was no winning for you, which resulted in your desire to return to the bedroom with him. Erase everything else in the galaxy.

 Kylo Ren paused mid-step as he arrived at the edge of the ramp, which would be unable to close without throwing him off balance. None of the officers were foolish enough to do so. The Force user turned to consider you, and you swayed in place. Behind you, Urvno stepped closer in order to place a steadying hand on your shoulder. Earlier that morning he had given you a container filled with children’s vitamins. Ren had almost delayed his departure at the news that your condition was poorer than what had been expected. An easy fix, Urvno had assured his superior over the course of two days and three nights.. That had not been a lie. Now Kylo seemed to be entertaining those same concerns anew.

 “I’m not afraid.” The words burst out of you before you realized what you were saying. Half truths were also partial lies. You despised being a liar yet embraced how human it made you feel. For want of something to do instead of standing there shuffling from foot to foot, you wrapped your arms around your midsection and looked to Rey. She stood with the majority of her weight towards the left. Her hand hovered near the lightsaber, a habit she had developed any time Captain Phasma was close. The chrome armored female had not been shy in announcing her continued distrust of the former scavenger. That had included toying with the blaster that was always on her person. Her warm, brown eyes settled on your face. Instantly she relaxed a fraction; never fully off her guard, but welcoming towards you.

 When you returned your attention to Kylo Ren, you found him looking at the female Force user. A nod passed between them. “No harm will come to you.” It sounded simultaneously like a demand and a promise. When he had entrusted your life to Miovtha’s hands, you had died. Ren’s eyes shifted to the physician. “Bed rest as needed.”

 “Of course, Supreme Leader,” Urvno said, drawing a frown from you. It was not that you were going to argue. You simply didn’t appreciate them talking over you as though you would be foolish enough to make the same mistakes you had in the past. Or had it been spoken for Urvno’s benefit? Now that you were the Supreme Leader’s wife, some might misconstrue that as being a position of high power. “The focus will be rehabilitation as per your previous orders.”

 Now that I can accept. Everyone was on the same page. Except...except that these words satisfied Kylo enough that he moved into the Command Shuttle. The departure felt cold, much the same as the grip around your heart. I shouldn’t feel that way. However, he had been the one constant in your life, and thus you did. The sock to the gut anew. An invisible hand around your throat, tightening, as the ship rose.

 For hours after the Command Shuttle had left the atmosphere of Naboo, you sat curled up on the chair in the study. You had thought that you would run to your mother the moment Grand Marshal Hux left. Reality had different plans. It always did as of late.

 And here your mother proved that she was set in her ways: you were her daughter, and she’d be dead before she willingly allowed you to leave her for long. The door to the study opened then closed. Her footfalls echoed in the room. You failed to look up from the wood of the desk. Stared sightlessly at it. Heat seeped into the cracks of ice that had begun to form inside of you. Your mother sat on the edge of the desk, and faced the hidden compartment in the wall. Its revelation had eliminated a portion of guilt you had been harboring since your departure from Naboo. A part of her was aware of this, too.

 She tilted back her head in unison with exhaling. It was an opening to be asked what was on her mind, if there was something troubling her. You failed to take the bait, although you did nibble. Your eyes flicked up from the desk, traced the shirt she wore, and once more met the surface of the wood. There were flaws in it. Minor scratches from pens over the years. That was strange in a way given that your parents had both preferred datapads. There were numerous things you had missed, weren’t there? Things that Kylo had picked up on immediately. That generally occurred when an outsider came to share their perspective.

 It was not an outsider that you wished to hear from; it was your mother. You wished for her to comfort you as much as she wished for you to fall into her arms. Except that she seemed also to ask for an apology that would never leave your lips. She couldn’t understand, in part because of things she did not know.

 “I can’t have children,” you said, the first to break. She began to pitch forward from surprise then, catching herself, twisted around to face you. “It would kill me.”

 Your mother was silent for a beat, clearly absorbing the information and trying to think of how to respond. Her voice quivered, the suggestion that you could adopt distorted, and you were left uncertain as to how she would feel about that. Some people obsessed over blood relations, bloodlines. Strange that Kylo Ren would marry you when he clearly believed the same. That he was the grandson of Darth Vader had influenced his choices, his views. He thought himself better than so many. You cupped your abdomen. A pressure developed behind your eyes. Heat surfaced in your face. A whirring in your ear.

 For a moment, your vision swam. You swayed in place, stilled only once your mother rose and placed a soothing hand on your shoulder. She crouched in front of you. Your eyes landed on her, gaze searching the expression of concern. All of her defenses melted away. She looked at you with love. It was the very first time you truly felt at home since you had arrived on Naboo. The first time in months that you remembered what it was like to be the girl who had grown in this house.

 “I’m sorry.” Genuine sympathy and understanding that brought you out of the chair. You pitched forward, throwing yourself into her arms, which encircled you. Warmth and wetness pooled in the shoulder of your top. Your mother cried for you. At long last you realized that the distance you had imagined existed was nothing more than your mother wearing a mask for her career. It was no different than the variety of names and uniforms you had donned working for the Resistance. You had underestimated this woman. In some ways, you were glad that you had. It made this burn all the more brightly for you.

 Your hands tugged at the material of her shirt, bunching it up and twisting as you pulled yourself more tightly against her.

 “You’re braver than I ever told you,” she said. At last the tears started to spill. You choked on a sob that was thick in your throat. “You remind me so much of your father, and sometimes it scared me. I knew that I would lose him, and I… It terrified me to think of you leaving. To think that I might never see you again, because you have always been brave and strong.”

 I’m not, I’m not, you wanted to argue, feeling small and like a child. You knew that those were lies. Your parents had both, in their own way, made you strong. From your father, it had been his belief in you, and how he had trained you to survive the looming war. From your mother, her life in politics had prepared you for the war as well, and her fear had always pushed you to not be afraid. You had wanted to be brave for her.

 It was that you feared the comparison between who you had been before Kylo Ren. That young woman—had she been more courageous than you now were? Had she been stronger in spirit and body? You did not wish to set yourself up for further disappointment.

 You remained with your mother for the better part of the day. Urvno fulfilled his duty of checking in on you as well as introducing enzymes into your diet that would aid your digestive system. Your mother listened whenever the physician spoke to you, and you could hear the pair discussing portions of your medical history every now again, namely when you dismissed yourself to visit the refresher. From what you could tell, he did not tell her everything. He focused solely on the lightsaber wound, and to this you did not object. It was easier to have him explain it to her. It hurt less not being subjected to her facial expressions as she reacted to the information, bit by bit.

 At night, you crawled into bed with her, laying on your father’s side and facing the door. There was no time for Rey to feel neglected. She had the Knights to familiarize herself with. They were curious about one another. Some more in tune with the Force than others. You could see the excitement building within the former Jakku scavenger. This part of her that she had tried so long to bury now allowed her to thrive. The Knights were different than Kylo Ren; less Dark, although not so Light that you would compare them to Luke Skywalker. Despite this joy, you also felt a longing from her. She missed someone specific, the young man she had started this journey with.

 Finn.

 And you could understand, all the more, how it was that she continuously attempted to see the good in Kylo Ren. If Finn, who had never been given a chance to know a life outside of the First Order during his childhood, could leave to join the Resistance, why couldn’t Kylo, who had been born to the Light, do the same?

 You turned over so that you no longer faced the door, opting instead to memorize your mother’s silhouette. She was alive because of Kylo, you reminded yourself. There’s good in him. You were, slowly but surely, beginning to not care about good or evil. The longer you breathed Naboo air, the more you were in your mother’s company, the greater your resolve to keep her safe and alive became. It was the one constant in your life that you had to fight for.

 Finn. Mom.

 You wondered what it was that drove your husband on. Felt, for the first time, disappointed that you couldn’t read him in the same way that you could Rey. The absence of a Force bond caused your stomach to somersault.

 That longing morphed into a mantra of what would Kylo do when you, nine days later, ‘graduated’ from visual training to wielding the modified lanvarok. Rey seized the polearm version in both her hands. She fended off two of the Knights simultaneously. You eyed her prior to asking the Knight nearest to you if he was capable of further adjusting your weapon to give it a few yards more wiggle room. You wanted Rey to have enough time to take control of the projectile via the Force. The modification allowed the initial release to send the disc farther on its own. Kylo could stop blaster bolts, you recalled. All of your time watching him on the battlefield came back to you. What would Kylo do—not be foolish enough to chance the window being too small. He had mastered catching the bolts at the perfect distance to catch his prey off guard as well. Rey was newer in the Force.

 “I may be able to. There isn’t much time.” You nodded in acknowledgment of those words. The mission was looming overhead. The target would need to be removed. For the Resistance’s sake as much as the First Orders. Perhaps more for the Resistance than the First Order.

 All that mattered was that the actions you took crippled Grand Marshal Hux and Captain Phasma. Those were the two who would have your mother killed… You paused in that train of thought to entertain the notion that Grand Marshal Hux would set aside his desire to see you suffer; he would use your mother against you, yes, but not by killing her. The threat to kill her would loom. But the pair of you would both know that, as long as he required your assistance, he would not kill her. Harm her, yes. Torture her until you broke down and gave into his demands.

 Phasma would kill her, Rey, you. She was the greatest threat. Your current target would be nothing more than practice for you to take out the chrome armored woman.

 Your gaze locked with Rey’s. Were you projecting murderous intent?

 “We should practice with both discs being fired in unison.” You nodded in agreement. The one way that Rey would grow more proficient was by doing. That was something that Kylo Ren would do. You angled your body to where you could fire the lanvarok without hitting any of the Knights. Rey mimicked your moves, although she faced away from you. Going in blind, so to speak. She would rely solely on her Force capabilities to snatch control of the projectile that fired from your weapon instead of hers. Or would she attempt to manipulate both simultaneously?

 The hairs on your arms stood on end in anticipation. They did the same thing a week later when you were no longer on Naboo. The training had met with limited success, and you wished there would have been more time. More time for Rey to master her technique, and more time for the Knight of Ren to further modify the lanvarok. But there wasn’t. Having studied the target’s schedule and habits, you had been forced to arrange a meeting between the target and ‘Evi’. Rey had taken on the guise of a tradesman. The mask she wore modified her voice so that she sounded male; this was important, as you had learned that the target refused to meet with females for business when it came to weaponry. He did this for good reason. In the past, he had almost met his death from a female.

 You smirked to yourself at the irony, and observed Rey through the macrobinoculars. Her attire perpetuated the falsehood of a male gender. There was no Knight of Ren with her. The target had been explicit in his desire to meet one-on-one. Regardless, it came as no surprise that the target had two hired bodyguards. He likely paid a fortune for them since discretion was of the utmost importance. You had been forced to position yourself a good four hours before the deadline. Somewhere away from where the target might send surveillance droids.

 Lying there on your stomach, you shuddered, trying to force the connection between Rey and you to grow stronger. Would she sense it in time? The lanvarok in her hands was not gripped correctly yet. You shifted the macrobinoculars to read the target’s lips. He had not yet requested a demonstration of the weapon’s power. You were not certain if he would given the weapon’s nature, and how it relied on Force sensitivity to successfully wield it.

 Taking a risk, you relinquished your hold on your own lanvarok to toy with the chain of the necklace you wore. It was something that your mother had given to you before you had gone on your mission. A token to remember where you had come from. Your parents’ wedding rings were on it. This, more than anything, had stunned you. You knew how much your mother loved and missed your father. It couldn’t have been easy for her to give this gift to you.

 But perhaps that was a lie.

 You don’t belong to the Resistance or the First Order or to this war. You belong to us.

 This was not a lie, not one of the falsehoods sown by those in the world that would use you for their own agendas. You were on this mission for her. And the feel of the chain followed by the texture of the rings helped to calm you. This was something that Rey was capable of feeling through your bond. You felt a similar wave of comfort roll off of her. She was confident that she would be successful in this mission with you by her side. Still, there was a hint of fear that existed within her. It was always there, lingering just under the surface and constantly threatening to break her resolve. She did not fear failure; Rey was afraid that the success would draw her away from the Light and further into the Dark. Her connection with Master Skywalker was waning. The distance growing each and every day.

 You let your hand fall away from the two rings, and repositioned yourself to where you would be able to spring free the projectile at a moment’s notice. Rey would have to convince the target that a demonstration was something he wanted. Judging from his actions so far, you were willing to bet that he would buy the lanvarok whether it worked correctly or not.

 There was, you had to admit, a growing sense of loneliness from your position. Kylo Ren had no opened communications with you since his departure. It reminded you of the times he had sent you into solitary confinement. Away from him, out of his personal quarters. Your upper lip began to draw backwards in a snarl. The what would Kylo do had transformed into war is a gray area, do what you must. It was a motto that better fit Rey’s role in all of this. Killing the target as she would be doing, that wasn’t what she had signed up for. And, your cruel mind intoned, she wouldn’t be in that position if it weren’t for the fact that she had stayed behind for you.

 The target gave a nod to something that Rey had said. That was a frustrating obstacle; the mask hiding Rey’s face ensured that you would not be able to read her lips for information. Her hands, though, were what you observed. The young woman slid her hands away from one another. Once more the hairs on the backs of your arms began to stand on end. You regulated your breathing to prevent it from drowning out all other sounds. It was the wind that you listened to, that guided how you positioned your weapon.

 Catch it, your mind screamed in unison with your finger pressing the trigger. The release mechanism worked perfectly, and the disc began to fly at the same time that Rey’s left her polearm version. The disc from your weapon started to lose altitude. You curled your toes in your boots, your gaze darting to the projectile she had released.

 The two hired guards had sidestepped towards one another. Their bodies shielded the target—but only in the front. The disc wobbled twice, floundering around before it gained speed. You dared not release the breath you were holding. The mission wasn’t successful until the target was dead. And the guards as well, you thought, drawing out your blaster. The plan was for Rey to dispatch them with the polearm. A lightsaber wound would make things obvious, a would a blaster bolt. Except you knew how to dispose of bodies. If the situation called for it, you would shoot down the guards and burn them to ash.

 One of the guards, the one on the right, noticed the subtle movements of Rey’s hand. He, or she, drew out their blaster, ready to shoot Rey in the head. You did not leave anything to chance. If she was able to stop a blast, it would mean that she did so at the expense of her control on the disc. That did not mean you would kill the guard. You flicked the switch on your blaster, setting it to stun with a silent curse of annoyance, and pulled the trigger. The disc that Rey manipulated wobbled again. She was nervous.

 Don’t be, don’t be, don’t be, you thought at her, not certain if she was able to hear your thoughts. As the blast connected with the guard, the female Force user grew more confident. The disc sailed smoothly, arcing then plunging through the target as well as the second guard, who had started to draw their weapon as well. Maybe it’s better that the alterations weren’t made. If I had been farther…

 The mission would have failed, and yet it had not. At least, not yet. There was sill the task of you and Rey leaving the planet before the local law enforcement discovered the bodies. All evidence would point to a tradesman, to Evi. You gazed through the macrobinoculars to check for possible new surveillance droids. Rey would be finishing her part. The details you had given to her on how to position the bodies, her grabbing the extra lanvarok disc. You would meet her there to leave behind a broken lanvarok. She wanted to keep the polearm version for future use, be it on missions or in training. That it required her to use the Force had had a very positive impact on her capabilities.

 You stuffed your belongings into the bag you had brought with you, grabbed out a ration bar, and took a quick chug of water. Your body was continuing to fight you. It would have been an understatement to say that Urvno had not been pleased that you were leaving for a mission. He had found a new medication on Naboo. It was in its trial stages, and he had been in a awe that it hadn’t come from Coruscant. Your mother had mentioned it to him after you had cried in her arms. You were not going to get your hopes up though. The medication could assist in repairing some of the internal damage to your body. That didn’t mean you would be able to function as you had before being pierced by Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. But any improvement was something that you’d take. When you returned from the mission, you would begin taking it, albeit against the advice of those who were conducting the trials.

 Subsequent to replacing your water container in the bag, you withdrew a tool that you would utilize once with Rey, and slung the strap over your shoulder. If it had not been for the possibility of surveillance droids, you could have brought a speeder. With a huff, you started to walk in the direction of your comrade. The air was thicker on this planet than Naboo. Its pressure forced your lungs to work overtime. Urvno had warned you of this, had urged you to bring along a portable respirator, and you—hadn’t ignored him, no; you knew the device was on your bed where you had spread out your materials before packing. That carelessness on your part was not something you were stomaching well.

 Stabbing the tool into the lanvarok was a good means of releasing some of that frustration. The removal of key components would prevent another from fixing it to utilize against the Knights of Ren or Rey. It was imperative to remove the modifications; that came first, an exposed wire being cut prior to sliding the head of the tool into a small seam. These skills had developed during your training with the splinter cell of the Resistance. You were no expert when it came to assembling or disassembling weaponry, however you had learned the basics for situations such as this one or if you came across a weapon on the battlefield that you would need to use.

 Your prints had previously been wiped from the lanvarok, however you used the cleaning materials again before setting the weapon near the corpses. Rey removed her helmet and placed it over your head. Instantly the filtered air entered your body. A small relief.

 “Do you need to rest before we start for—”

 “There’s no time to rest,” you said, not unkindly. The former scavenger dipped her chin in a nod without erasing the worry from her expression. She reached for your bag, a stern look silencing any protest that began to form, and started in the direction where the shuttle would touch down. One of her Knights would meet the pair of you there.

 Her Knights. A division had started amongst them, strained loyalties. Ultimately they did follow Kylo Ren, however Rey’s presence had touched at least two of them. They bonded with her through their training and during meals. Shared experiences. It helped that Rey did not necessarily hate Kylo Ren, that she pitied him in a way. With the two, she was able to speak of Finn without receiving annoyed grunts. The others had a tendency to bring up the fact that Finn, whom they referred to as traitor or FN-2187, had defected from the First Order, which the former Master of the Knights of Ren now commanded. You kept your tongue still the times this occurred. Rey never faulted you for this. She understood that, as the wife of the Supreme Leader, you had to tread with more caution than even she.

 Urvno also pinched his lips tightly together whenever the former stormtrooper was mentioned. Or, as was the case, whenever you started to struggle due to overexerting yourself. This time was no exception. Naboo air had calmed you emotionally and mentally. It had not held a magical cure for your physical ailments. When he informed you that he had contacted your husband about your condition, you snorted. The electronic tooke pet lay on the bedside table, still dead, not yet restarted. You would have to choose its name, and were unsure if you would reuse the old one or go with something new. In the grand scheme of things, the childish object had no place with you. Not yet, not until the war had ended.

 The physician’s concerns in regards to your health was a catalyst for your husband to contact you. The small, blue hologram version of the Supreme Leader fit into the palm of your hand along with the device from which it had arrived. Rather than referring to you as tooke, Kylo wasted no time in saying your birth name. You smirked in response to this. There wasn’t a lot he could do given the distance between you.

 “Your symptoms include headaches, fever, and nausea.” There was some electronic interference with the transmission, causing the tiny Kylo to warp and static to cut into his statement. “You did well.” Your breath hitched at the compliment. He had altered course, changed the subject after seeing your reaction to his comments on your health. He knew better than to press. That single statement from him, he knew, would be enough for you to know that it was wise to take a small break before asking for another target. He would not hesitate to take you out of the equation otherwise.

 You bit down on your bottom lip to prevent yourself from saying what you wanted to say. You wanted to ask him why he had not contacted you before this. He would love that, would accuse you of being desperate for him. Only when a different question formed did you speak.

 “What of the Grand Marshal?” The blue Kylo tilted its head to the side. You snorted. “I am curious if he’s causing trouble for you.”

 “Mm.” The hum confirmed your suspicions that he had worried for a moment that you were genuinely concerned for Hux. “He is skilled at locating former Resistance bases.” The unnecessary addition of And we have destroyed them remained unspoken. “Rey has been successful in her two missions.” You hated that, the jealousy you felt at the fact that Rey had indeed been sent on another mission, this time without you. The Knights were with her, except for the one that had remained behind to babysit you and ensure your mother was safe. Kylo Ren read your emotions easily. “Patience. I have something for you. Soon.”

 “I don’t like some of the surprises you bring,” you said. A smirk on that blue. A promise: This one, you will.

 The transmission ended, Kylo Ren having cut off contact. Urvno had a frown. You could tell that he was disappointed in the fact that your husband had not been more vocal about his displeasure for how you were treating your body. The physician just didn’t understand. Kylo had taken the wisest route when dealing with you. The looming promise of a new mission, or whatever else this something was.

 “You have the controls,” you informed the physician. Urvno’s shoulders rose then fell as he sighed in relief. You toyed with the rings that hung from the chain. The Grand Marshal and Supreme Leader were somehow working well together. That spelled trouble for the Resistance. As much as you tried to tell yourself that you were no longer Resistance, your loyalties did not just disappear. You would be content now to be put on bedrest. It offered you time to formulate a plan that would cripple the First Order. Rey had started her part in that, gaining the Knights’ loyalty.

 Mom. Finn.

 Rey was helping you protect your mother, and so you would help her protect Finn.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo x reader #kylo ren smut #kylo ren imagine #three blind tooke #elmidolfanfic #precarious harmony

[arreisstorm]

BTS' Map Of The Soul: Persona

I am always in a continuous state of shock and awe whenever I even begin to contemplate the in-depth philosophical, psychological, and just overall intellect these boys possess.

Not only have they used various works of literature:

Demian- Wings

The Ones Who Walk from Omelas- Spring Day

but they have also been incorporating theoretical science:

Carl Jung's 4 major archetypes

since the very beginning!

And then to use a music industry as big as K-Pop to highlight the importance of knowledge and connect everything together...

That's beautiful.

It's genius!

So let me try and break some of it down now:

Carl Gustav Jung was a famous psychiatrist and psychotherapist who once proposed the theory that everyone's personality consisted of 4 separate entities:

The Shadow

The Anima/Animus

The Persona

The Self

and it was these 4 traits, or archetypes, that were believed to be the reasoning for why we as individuals developed personalities and certain behaviors. He also theorized that when an individual recognized and experienced all 4 archetypes that it would lead to self-fulfilment. So now let's break this down even further but from BTS' viewpoint.

The Shadow

From their debut through Dark & Wild, you can see that these were more chaotic times for BTS as they were trying to let the world know who they were, yet also trying to remain genuine at the same time. It's hard thing to do because, especially when referring to K-Pop, you are told you have to look, act, and exist in a certain way. You are to be idols and to model what's most popular when it comes to societal influence. This is exactly what Carl meant when he introduced the Shadow archetype. It's known to be the darker side of ourselves; the wildness and chaotic version that we use to try to repress some of our more negative thoughts.

BTS experienced the Shadow because they debuted with this "bad-boy" imagine and basically said F the system! Although they still had their personal beliefs and stances on life, they did kind of let themselves become manipulated by others wishes. Even some of the boys have had regrets towards the way they first acted. I mean RM, then Rap Monster, openly expressed how he wanted to change his name because he felt that title no longer applied to who he was. Same for the rest of the boys. They had just started out and were naive and some easily impressionable, no one should blame them for their early days, I mean I'm sure we all have times we look back on not too fondly as well.

The Anima/Animus

Jung believed the next step after the Shadow was the Anima/Animus, which represents the feminine (Anima) side of male's unconsciousness, while the (Animus) is the masculine side for the female's. This aspect was said to bring order or balance to an individual's life. Because we live in a society that is so concerned with separating one's gender as a way to normalize behavior as a whole, it has become almost impossible for us to have said balance because it is "not acceptable"; however, it's important to have those two separations to a person's behavior because it allows us to have positive and negative aspects for each.

Imagine if you had a man who was nothing but competitive and dominating all the time, yet lacked the nurturing skills of a women when it came to showing compassion towards a child or loved ones. Then imagine on the other hand, there's a women who has all the emotional capacity yet let's herself be pushed around and stepped on because she lacks an assertive nature due to said generosity and compassion. Neither one would be able to make it long in this world because they do not possess the balance from both sides to do so.

Relating this back to BTS, you can see the Anima appearing during the Love Yourself highlight reel, although it wasn't so clear to some until now. Most ARMY or casual supporters of BTS simply thought that these girls that appeared in the video were simply some type of love interest or previous relationship they had because including girls in idol groups' videos is nothing out of the ordinary; however, knowing about the archetype Anima/Animus, I have pieced together that these girls were actually not love interests at all, but they represented the boys' feminine part of their unconsciousness.

The reason I say this is because during the HYYH era MVs, you can see the destructive nature BTS are going through. Whether it be destruction of self or of personal relationships, it's obvious that they are still experiencing the first stage, the Shadow, and in order to move past it they must recognize the next one. The girls in the video are seen when the boys are at their happiest, AKA when they are experiencing balance from the uncertainty surrounding their lives. It is here we can see the growth of each member taking place.

(Photo credit: stussyjimin on Twitter)

The Persona

After we have the Shadow and Anima/Animus we move onto the 3rd stage: the Persona. This archetype is one of the most common ones that people find themselves unable to move past.

Societal constructs yet again have a huge part to play in this because we are constantly seeking validation from others in order to appease our own self-conscious tendencies. You see, the word 'persona' in Latin literary means 'mask', which is appropriate because when we reach this archetype we often force ourselves to wear a mask so that others might accept our perceived truths over the actual ones. Whether it be at work, home, in other public situations, or even online we all make the decisions to put on that mask, contradicting our own beliefs in order to seem likeable. These decisions don't even necessarily have to be life-changing, but any minor ones also alter an individual as a whole.

You see, where the Shadow's job is to let us repress our unacceptable behaviors to appear more relatable, the Persona highlights those new changes to keep up the charade of being accepted from what others expect from us. This could more easily be known as "people-pleasing". In order to reach our next stage the most important thing to keep in mind is that we as humans are not simply a sum of our Personas and we must find our true identity within ourselves.

Again, relating this back to BTS, it reminds me of 2 different concepts: Wings and Love Yourself: Tear.

With Wings, I mostly see it in the solos because each one specifically deals with some kind of pain or sadness due to outside influences. For example, in Jungkook's BEGIN, he mentions how helpless he felt during their debut and then how much it hurt him to see his hyungs going through dark times. In Jimin's LIE, he talks about his struggles with starvation and body imagery and how listening to negativity made him spiral out of control. V's STIGMA explains how he often feels like this absent family member to his brothers because of BTS' busy schedule and his inability to be there for them. Suga's FIRST LOVE expands on his depression and how he almost gave up his dream at one point, also turning his back on his first love which is music. RM's Reflection is almost like a conversation with himself conveying his insecurities and how hard he finds it to love himself because of how he's been perceived in the past. Hobi's MAMA, although the more happier track of them all, serves as a love letter to his mom confessing his hardships as well as how much he appreciates his mom for always having his back. Then finally we have Jin's AWAKE, where he pours his heart out about feeling inadequate compared to everyone else, yet he still is going to try his hardest. The boys showed us their personal struggles and how keeping up these charades for so long would end up tearing them apart. They knew they were missing the final link.

Love Yourself: Tear can also be seen in this way. In fact, RM explained that when writing and designing the concept for one of their most popular tracks from the album, Fake Love, he was trying to communicate the fact that, in life, we constantly find ourselves trying to fill a void in order to deem ourselves as whole, and often times this can be filled with love, but that doesn't specifically have to be about relationships. "We're saying that if you're not true to yourself, your love won't last forever. The love could be person to person, it could be between me and myself,".... "It's kinda deep."

See here he means that love doesn't necessarily have to be about a physical relationship, just like the Persona doesn't just have to be about the relationship you have with others. Even if the simplified version is often seen as "people-pleasing", it can also mean, in an inadvertent way, changing yourself or donning a mask in order to fool your own mind into loving those alterations you've made personally. Learning to love yourself and acknowledging your flaws is the only way to reach the final stage.

(Photo credit: dailyhoping on Twitter)

(YAJR#jkc at aminoapps.com)

The Self

The 4th and final stage to achieving personal fulfillment is known as the Self. This means that after having gone through all other areas of self discovery when reaching this stage there should no longer be any traces of doubts or identity loss left.

According to Jung, the Self is most often represented by the wise man/wise woman, especially when it comes to dreams. He once said that if there was a ever a time when a person dreamed of a wise figure, then it was an indication that self fulfillment is right around the corner. This is a lose interpretation though, it doesn't necessarily have to be an old man or old woman, some even think that people who serve as mentors to an individual, regardless of age, can also fit the profile. In the case of BTS however, I do believe that Jung's original idea was more of the inspiration.

If you recall during one of the trailers for Fake Love, there was the Magic Shop where the boys went to trade in objects for others. The vendor in charge of the shop could be considered as a sort of magician, which just so happens to be another character that is said to represent the Self. So knowing that and then if you see in the video that the objects traded by each boy connects them back to previous storylines, or sticking with Jung's theory, previous archetypes that can be used to remind them of hurt, pain, and darker times. The symbolism of this exchange can be interpreted as the boys relinquishing their previous lost identities to finally take that metaphorical step and receive the solution that will finally lead them to the Self.

Actually, if you look at the next MV that follows Fake Love extended version, you will see that it is the last song from BTS' latest album Love Yourself: Answer, Epiphany. The literal definition of the word 'epiphany' means a sudden realization, revelation, or insight, which in terms of the archetype, the Self, this could be a representation of the defining moment that shows BTS finding the final path to self fulfillment and true happiness. I'm not saying they've 100% reached the very top of the pyramid, but I do think that in deciding to make this the last track on the album, they are also treating the words as a personal message to all of ARMY.

This is their genius way of letting everyone know that the only true solution to achieving that final level of a well-developed Self, you must first experience a culmination of all previous archetypes and then integrate them all alongside the last:

One must learn to express hurt and emotions (the Shadow) before they can find a balance within (the Anima/Animus) to help counteract the mask and preconceptions (the Persona) others make us develop throughout life. It is only then will we be wise (the Self) enough to find the hidden truth.

Final Thoughts:

First of all, I want to say thank you if you made it through this whole post, I know its a little long and I truly appreciate it. 💜

Secondly, I want to reiterate that none of this is to be seen as a concrete answer to BTS concepts, song meanings, or their entire creative process as a whole, this is simply my thoughts and opinions and nothing more. That being said though, I am more than open and willing to hear both your theories on the symbolism BTS uses, as well as any constructive criticism you might have concerning this post. So please feel free to leave a comment ✌

Lastly, I have one more thing to touch base on and that is the recent announcement that was the inspiration behind this post being created in the first place. It's been blowing up the internet since it was first released, but in case you might have missed it, BTS has just dropped their comeback date (April 12th!) and the title is Map of the Soul: Persona.

See because I have such an interest in psychology/philosophy and especially loved studying Jung's work, when I first saw the title, and knowing how intellectual these boys are, I couldn't help myself from thinking that this new era could possibly have ties into Jung's 4 Archetypes. This then brought me to revist everything BTS has done up until now to see if I could be right, and that's when I realized they had already tackled the theory on the down low, or at least for most people; hence why I made this post, I wanted to create this in-depth analysis to help others understand the pure genius aspects that goes into BTS' concepts.

Now with that being said, if this new era and concept truly is going to draw inspiration from Carl Jung and his theories, then the above post is nothing more than a simple a taste of what's to come. Trust me, if it's BTS we are talking about, then everything I've said pales in comparison to what their truly brilliant minds can come up with. Either way I can't wait to see what's in store!!!

Thank you again if you read this and please feel free to share or leave your own comments. I would love to hear what you guys have to say! 💜💜💜

#map of the soul: persona #map of the soul #bts #bts comeback #rm #kim namjoon #suga #min yoongi #jin #kim seokjin #hobi #jhope #jung hoseok #jimin #park jimin #v #tae #kim taehyung #kook #kookie #jungkook #jeon jungguk #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan #방탄소년단 #bts army #carl gustav jung #carl jung's 4 archetypes #psychology #philosophy

[josy72]

Adèle Haenel ✨ Noémie Merlant ✨

‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ Review: This Is Céline Sciamma’s Masterpiece

Portrait Of A Lady On Fire

Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire will probably draw comparison to two recent films, Lucrecia Martel’s Zama and Luca Guadagnino’s Call Me by Your Name, for completely different reasons. As a deliberately unhurried, gorgeously shot, eerily still, nearly flawless period piece with a heavy beach presence, it brings Zama to mind. And as a totally engrossing, heartbreaking, and transitory queer romance, it’s hard not to think about Call Me by Your Name. However, as is the case with both films mentioned and any great film in their company, Portrait is a wholly unique treasure all its own.

It traces the romantic encounter of two women on an island off the French coast of Brittany, one an angry daughter trapped in a remote manor, soon to be married and shipped off to a Milanese man she’s never met, and the other a painter. In defiance of the nuptial arrangement, Héloïse (Adèle Haenel) refuses to have her wedding portrait painted. Marianne (Noémie Merlant), the painter, is hired by The Countess (Valeria Golino) to pose as an outing companion to Héloïse, the daughter, while secretly painting her portrait. Marianne is expected to mentally soak up Héloïse’s features during their walks along the towering cliffs and rocky beaches below in order to paint her when they’re not together.

However, much to The Countess’s surprise, Héloïse takes fondly to Marianne and the two develop a formal, understated friendship. They start spending more time together and, in the process, reach new depths of understanding with one another, though still in a muted sense. Soon, Marianne finishes the portrait. She feels compelled to show Héloïse and tell her the truth. The Countess allows it, recognizing the bond that’s formed quickly between the two. Héloïse isn’t too upset about it, but she and The Countess both think the painting is subpar, inaccurate, and ultimately dissatisfying. Trusting Marianne as she does, Héloïse submits to posing if The Countess will allow Marianne another chance. The Countess commissions the second round and goes into the city, leaving the two women and Sophie (Luàna Bajrami), the estate maid, alone for five days to wrap up the portrait.

For this first hour or so, the film moves along at a snail’s pace, inching ever closer to the sensual tension that brews beneath the surface with stark tonal precision. Every small, quiet, seemingly trivial moment works wonders, drawing you deeper into the swelling ambiance of forbidden love. You feel it bubbling up in the tacit moments between Marianne and Héloïse. They fixate their unblinking eyes on each other with unremittent desire, emit stolid nervous ticks, and speak only in quick bursts of conversation, as if expressing too much would expose the vulnerability they crave from one another.

Merlant and Haenel’s performances are remarkable. It’s difficult to imagine the film, so reliant on discrete expression and hidden movement, working with any other actresses. Both have incredibly robust visages, as strong as they are passionate—sharp jaw lines, high cheekbones, velvet lips, regal noses, piercing eyes, bushy dark brows. They both have a thick and luscious head of hair that’s usually pulled back into a neat bun or braid, an outward symbol of the inner restraint that cages them both romantically and culturally (as women in a staunchly patriarchal world). They wear period-appropriate dresses of solid colors, Marianne’s a rich russet and Héloïse a shadowy blue-grey, except when she’s posing, in which case she wears the plainest, most majestic emerald dress you’ve laid eyes on. The dresses are cut low at the collar to reveal smooth, elegant necks which lead down to sharply accentuated collar bones, every aspect of their appearance causing the other to ooze unspoken envy.

Sciamma wields their appearances brilliantly with an abundance of close-ups on face and body. Their faces communicate the mental and emotional gravity at stake and the relational evolution that accompanies it, while the bodies communicate a visceral yearning for intimacy, a carnal longing for love. It doesn’t matter how pronounced or still their movements are, Sciamma makes you feel everything they feel like you’re in a waking dream. When Marianne is frozen with a brush in her hand, her eyes darting back and forth between Héloïse and the canvas, the atmosphere is dense with ardor. And when Héloïse sprints fervently toward the edge of a cliff, a spliff of adrenaline and empathy invades your lungs and rushes through your veins. The mood is palpable every step of the way.

The sound and color alone achieve astounding singularity. Sciamma uses textural sound to score the film, from the smooth scratch of a paintbrush on canvas to the crunch of stiff dresses in silent rooms to the hushed smack of readied lips to the roar of the waves to the creaks and groans of the human body to the crackle of a fire. Likewise, she accentuates color to create an unparalleled tone. The baby blue walls in the house, the varied vibrance of the dresses, the true blackness of night around a bonfire, the golden skin of the women in a warm yellow hue. Even on the beach, the colors are stunningly pronounced—khaki sands, cerulean skies, and an ocean made up of at least ten shades of hazy greens and blues. The cinematography is magnificent, too, as DP Claire Mathon never lets up in her pursuit of exquisite shot composition. Keep your eyes peeled for the nude pipe-smoking shot in front of the fire, the whack-a-mole shot in grassy dunes, the bird’s eye procedure shot with a baby, the armpit-confused-as-ass-hole shot (you certainly won’t miss this one), and the opening canvas and paint shot.

Sciamma’s screenwriting and direction deserve the credit from which every other aspect flows. Her characterization of Héloïse as the titular subject of the film is a magnificent example. She constantly adds little things to her story that make a world of difference in how we understand Héloïse as opposed to leaving her to the trappings of archetypal Hollywood damsels. She’s built as an exiled, angry, yet open woman, but through paint, she’s portrayed as a headless woman in an old failed portrait attempt, and, most noticeably, a calm woman on fire in another. Adding more layers, Sciamma depicts her as a recurring ghost, a masked escapist, a common philosopher, and a sweet, gentle soul.

She is the enigma Marianne unravels throughout the film, at first bitter and lonely, but eventually, undone by the lawlessness of love, soft and kind. Even in her allowance to run out the doors unattended, she recognizes the loneliness that accompanies freedom, what she sarcastically calls the “charms of exile.” Marianne, on the other hand, is quiet and observant, like us. Her spectatorial and inquisitive nature is the lens through which we come to know the depths of Héloïse beyond what imagery can convey.

They share keen debates on art philosophy, rules, ideals, presence, sincerity, truth, loneliness, love, memory, and music, the latter three forming the holy trinity of the film’s thematic core. Lines like “Do all lovers feel like they’re inventing something?” are whispered softly in the dead of night and tiptoe into your psyche where you ask yourself the same question. Others like “Don’t regret, remember,” possess the film like an impassioned forlorn spirit and give way to poetic conversations about what it means to choose memory over love, and the romantic (or professional) agency of a woman.

But perhaps the most noteworthy aspect of Sciamma’s fourth film, among everything already mentioned, is the scant but titanic use of music. If it weren’t for every little phenomenal detail of the film, it would be worth watching for the two music scenes alone. If anyone is quick to dismiss the lack of score, they merely don’t understand the power of music as Sciamma intends to use it. The explosive, emotionally-packed moments—one with instrumentation and no voice and the other inversed—are utterly unforgettable. They’ll occupy your thoughts, your dreams, your fantasies, and, ultimately, the mass cultural lexicon of film history’s greatest moments.

Portrait begins as a still, stoic friendship and blossoms into a tender, compassionate romance, even a gushing romance at times. However, be warned that this is a poet’s romance, not a lover’s, as the film recognizes through some meta-commentary. And there’s a major difference between the two.

#portrait of a lady on fire #top #portrait de la jeune fille en feu #retrato de una mujer en llamas #adele haenel #noemie merlant #heloise #marianne x heloise #celine sciamma #top films #movies #amazing beauty #incredible #actrees #wonder woman #pretty #woman #lovestory #best woman #best #lovers #cute😍 #celeb crush #my crush #tumblrtop10

[nitr0glycer1ne]

Ducktober/Duckvember Day 12 - Fanfic scene

Hi! Temporarily skipping Day 11 because I feel more like writing than drawing atm, and I'm drawing a comic for Day 11 (so far I've drawn 1 page out of 3 woo) I interpreted the prompt literally, as you'll see :) I hope you'll enjoy! It was inspired by one of my favorite moments from "Friendship Hates Magic!" 

------

Darkwing was tied on the torture chamber's table, metallic restrains making sure the slightest movement was impossible. No matter how hard the vigilante tried to break free, the restrains wouldn't budge, the cold metal digging further and further into his feathers.

"Hahaha, Darkwing Duck!" an evil voice boomed in the room. Darkwing tried to see where it was coming from, but the room was plunged in darkness, and he could only faintly make out a silhouette. "End of the line!" The mysterious person made his way towards our hero, who gasped in surprise. He had thought his worst enemy was dead, but had apparently been wrong, for Evil Darkwing Duck was now standing in front of him. "Evil Darkwing Duck!" Darkwing Duck spat, not losing his cool even though he was in such a dire situation. "I should have known it was you. This case had your foul smell all over it!" "Ohoho, then it looks like I outsmarted you, dear brother!" "You're no relative of mine!" "Hahaha, why won't you admit the truth, my dear twin?" Darkwing Duck struggled once more against his bonds, the brave hero fighting against the immovable restraints with all his might. Meanwhile, Evil Darkwing Duck grabbed a chainsaw. It seemed that everything was lost, but then! "Stop right there, villain!" Someone jumped through the window, facing Evil Darkwing Duck. He was wearing a bomber jacket and an aviator helmet, and was also proudly wearing a Darkwing Duck pin on his scarf- it was none other than Darkwing's very own sidekick, Launchpad McQuack!

"Interesting way to introduce this character." Mrs Beakley approved with a nod. "A dynamic entrance usually makes for a memorable first scene."

Launchpad smiled with a childlike glee, delighted to see how much the housekeeper seemed to enjoy his Darkwing Duck fanfiction. He hadn't shown it to anyone else; he did have an account on a popular fanfiction website, but Launchpad mainly used the site to read other people's stories and had only posted a few one-shots there, none involving his self-insert. He knew self-inserts were generally frowned upon, so he kept this particular fic to himself, simply enjoying how happy it made him to work on it. Mrs Beakley didn't seem to be disturbed by said self-insert, though, which was a good thing. He had only given her his private Darkwing Duck fanfiction because he had been swept by the moment, by how joyous he had been to finally be able to find someone in real life who was as much into the masked vigilante as he was, that Launchpad hadn't really thought about it when he had handed her the thick notebook that meant so much to him.

Besides, he had no idea about Bentina's stance on shipping, and didn't want to introduce her to his more romantic stories before knowing if she liked Quackervolt - Launchpad was pretty open-minded when it came to shipping, but he didn't know if that was the housekeeper's case.

"Soooo... you like it?" the large duck grinned when Mrs Beakley delicately turned another page. "If I like it? Oh, Launchpad, I adore it!" Bentina returned his smile, her eyes leaving the notebook to find her new friend's. "You really have a knack for writing. It's too bad the show's over, I'm sure you could have submitted that script to them!" "Oh gee, that means a lot!"

Scrooge's driver blushed, nervously rubbing the back of his head. Darkwing Duck was everything to him; it had been a constant in his life, something that had always managed to lift his spirits when he was feeling down. Which was why if someone as cultivated and stern as Bentina Beakley deemed his work worthy enough to be turned into an actual episode, it made Launchpad's chest puff with pride.

"Is that all there is?" Mrs Beakley asked, sounding disappointed, when she reached the last page covered in the pilot's messy handwriting. "Or is the rest in another notebook?" "Nope, it's all there. I uh, I have lots of other ideas but I just haven't had time lately to put them on paper, what with all the adventurin' Mr McD had us doing. Not that it's a bad thing!" Launchpad was quick to correct himself. "Oh, don't worry, I see what you mean." Bentina nodded in understanding, carefully putting the notebook on the coffee table near the couch. "But if you do get around to writing a sequel, or perhaps several sequels, make sure to lend them to me!"

Mrs Beakley concluded by wrapping her arm around Launchpad's shoulders in an affectionate gesture, one the pilot was eager to return, almost throwing himself at the housekeeper. He loved physical contact, whether it be ruffling Dewey's feathers or holding Webby's hand when she invited him to tea parties in her room, or even hugging Louie that one time he had found him crying in the kitchen after a nightmare. It was just in Launchpad's nature to enjoy feeling the presence of people he liked, to convey how much he appreciated them by the slightest brush of a feather against a feather.

He was especially happy to be hugging Bentina now: unlike him, she was seldom seen giving physical gestures of affection, except to her beloved grand-daughter. Of course, Mrs Beakley had a heart of gold and was fiercely protective of the McDuck Manor's inhabitants; but she had vastly different ways to show her affection. It was embedded in the way she made sure Donald's room was always ready if the sailor was to suddenly want to sleep closer to his nephews, it was etched in the comfortable silence she offered Scrooge when his rants about mundane issues slowly turned into far more personal confidences. It was something delicate, woven into her attitude and acts so smoothly that you barely noticed it, the polar opposite of Launchpad's loud and bright shows of affection.

When Launchpad offered her a tight hug, Mrs Beakley couldn't help but smile; even though Scrooge's driver sometimes annoyed her or made a mess in a room she'd just cleaned, she couldn't stay mad at him for long. Launchpad never did anything maliciously - he was always true to himself, and honest in every sense of the word. The only thing she regretted was to not have taken the time to know him better before today, although she promised herself to spend more time with the pilot from now on.

“You know what, Launchpad?” the older duck asked, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes when her colleague finally let go. “We should film this. Right now.” “Really?!” the pilot exclaimed giddily. “Oh, this is gonna be awesome! Wait right here, let me get my DW costume and my camera!” “You have a costume?” the housekeeper inquired, curious. “Oh, yeah, wait- there it is!” Launchpad proudly exclaimed, taking a hat, a mask and a cape out of his closet. “Haven’t made the suit yet, but that’s already good!” “Did you sew this?” Bentina asked, getting up to see the costume up close. It was definitely handmade, but it was crafted expertly, and the seams were almost invisible. She couldn’t help but be surprised: she had seen the pilot be very clumsy, she had seen him crash planes and cars and even a lawnmower once, so she couldn’t have imagined Launchpad was that good at something that required patience and precision like sewing. “Sure did.” Launchpad beamed, flattered by the way the housekeeper admired his work. “They don’t do adult sizes, so I had to. You wanna try it on?” “Really? May I?” “Of course, I’m sure you’ll be an awesome Darkwing! And I’ll be a great Launchpad! Come on, lady, let’s get dangerous!”

--------

Dont hesitate to hmu on twitter @sarahnitr0 !

The sub plot with Launchpad and Beakley becoming friends was so good!! They're really good, they contrast each other and can learn a lot from the other. And seeing Mrs Beakley loving LP's script and be so excited to film his self insert fic was amazing so I wanted to do something with that :D Also it was my first time writing Beakley, I love her so I hope I did her justice :v

Side note LP is the kind of guy to leave lengthy reviews on every fic he likes lets all agree here (Also he ships himself with DW obviously >w<)

#launchpad mcquack #bentina beakley #mrs beakley #ducktales #launchpad and beakley #ducktober #my fics #writing #my writing #fanfiction

[brainfoodgp]

The Seeds for Wellness Journal is written by Brain Food Garden Project’s Founder/Executive Director Sean Brennan

The Seeds for Wellness Journal is edited by Kira Labinger

“Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance” ~Samuel Johnson~

The world has completely changed as we knew it in just a matter of a few short weeks. The once crowded New York City streets are empty, conveying a post apocalyptic feel, as if they were transported into the Will Smith movie Legend, albeit, before Fifth Avenue became overrun with weeds and shrubbery, and zoo animals escaping, reclaimed an abandoned cityscape as their wilderness. The few people out walking in my neighborhood to go to the market, for example, are wearing surgical face masks. This is all extremely reminiscent of the movies we used to pay good money to see at the cinema to have the shit scared out of us, like Contagion. Now, it’s just an everyday reality that we get to witness free of charge.

Not that I have been doing much walking around lately, because 11 days have now passed since I started demonstrating mild symptoms of the COVID-19 virus. Trust me when I say even “mild” symptoms have been no walk in the park. Soar throat, check. Aching body to the point of feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus, check. Low grade fever, check. Tightness in my chest and mild difficulties breathing, check and check.

Speaking with my doctor and finding out from her just how crazy it is out there right now, made the reality of what I’ve been viewing in our Governors televised daily briefings even more real to me. They still don’t have anywhere near enough tests. So, when she told me to stay put, drink plenty of liquids and to keep her posted if my symptoms got worse, I almost felt relieved. I can’t imagine using up a test that could help someone that might really need it. All I can say is that the guilt would have been more overwhelming for me than the virus; trust me.

And yet, through all of this, signs that a majority of the human race is still overwhelmingly kind, generous, compassionate and hopeful, shines forth all around us. And, while our authoritarian, fascist President and Senate majority and collaborating Governors and some other state officials continue to demonstrate their utter cluelessness and ignorance, others have stood out and stood up for ensuring that every life counts, no matter your political party or socioeconomic status. And have stood up for their belief in science, our researchers, medical professionals and first responders. Americans have even embraced our newest heroes: the men and women that stock our grocery stores and the cashiers who check us out. Millions of people who make minimum wage, and who most people look straight through when going about their day checking off their to-do lists, are now wearing masks and risking their own health every day to continue to go to work for us.

Yes, the world has changed. And, while we have no clear idea how long we will have to continue to self-quarantine, self-isolate, and self-distance, the one thing I know and believe to be true during this pandemic is that the Mental Health Peer Advocacy work force will go down as heroes too. We are on the frontlines of this crisis every day, doing what we have always done: providing resources, listening without judgment and using our own lived experience to assist people in putting their fears and anxieties into context and create their own understanding and path to move forward when this is all over. During this great world tragedy arises our moment to shine, like a bright search light cutting through the darkness and bringing hope. When this is all over, no one will ever again be able to doubt the power of our movement, the importance of peer support and the deep and endless well of empathy we supply to our communities all around the world. What I now know for sure is that no one will ever have the right to question our relevance and our place of importance within the psychiatric medical establishment again.

Below you will find the number for the New York State COVID-19 Helpline.

BFGP Feature:

During Difficult Times Finding A Silver Lining Makes The World Seem Less Dark

Living with manic depression is, at the best of times, like riding on a non-stop roller coaster. And, at its worst, like living through a perpetual highway collision. Yet hundreds of thousands of people like myself, all around the world, do live with it and do find paths to manage their symptoms everyday. As a matter of fact, I have written about many of the tools I use personally in quite a few of these Seeds for Wellness Journals.

Whenever my anxiety spikes, so too does the potential for me to tailspin into a depression. One of the wellness tools I’ve come to rely on is looking for a silver lining in whatever is happening in my life, especially those things my mind perceives to be bad or horrific. Applying my “silver lining” rule curtails the perceived threats before they have the chance to pull me down the rabbit hole.

When I started seeing more and more people wearing masks on the train as I traveled each day to meetings for BFGP or to the Baltic Street Community Resource and Wellness Center, I honestly didn’t think much of it. After all, I had lived with suicidal ideation, many suicide attempts, and two long stays in psychiatric hospitals. It wasn’t until more and more of my scheduled work meetings were cancelled and then the call came for me to close the Center until further notice and send all of the participants home, that I started to think, “Oh, this might actually be serious”. However, even then, I thought the world might be held up for a week, two at the most!

After a week in, I knew that I was about to be living in a much different world. My calendar—my lifeline to keeping my incredibly busy life organized—started to look like a blackened, crossed-out mess. It resembled the few attempts I’ve made at filling out the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen! More meetings were cancelled, then Board meetings, then conferences I was scheduled to speak, workshops I was scheduled to facilitate. I found myself staring at an empty calendar, that used to be filled with my well-planned life, and I began to sweat.

When it sunk in that the pilot volunteer garden program, Connect-Garden-Grow, that Brain Food Garden Project was planning to role out in the spring for mental health peers, was not going to come to fruition this spring, with no end in sight for “social distancing”, that nasty, gnarled footed rabbit with talon-like claws for nails and bloodshot red eyes began to stick its head menacingly out of its hole, beckoning me towards it. And I felt myself inching closer and closer.

And then I stopped, I took a deep breath, and asked myself: “What is the silver lining in all of this for me?”, There has to be one, I thought. While taking a long, hot bath, I found it...TIME!!

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said: “I am behind on this project” or said to a friend: “Oh, I can’t meet you for drinks because I’m booked that evening for a committee meeting.”, I’d be a very well-off man. Add a dollar for every time I’ve heard a friend or work colleague say those same types of things to me. And I’d be able to retire now, move to Ireland and buy one of those quaint thatched roofed cottages by the ocean that I love looking at on Facebook!

TIME—we are all always complaining about not having enough of it. Maybe it’s to read that book you’ve been dying to read, or to cook a meal for your family, or to paint that masterpiece. And now, we have nothing but time. So, alright, I can’t meet a friend out for a drink right now. But, before I got sick, I had martinis over the phone with a friend I hadn’t seen in months. And we laughed and gossiped and had the best damned time. Another friend of mine and I, in a similar scenario, talked on the phone for over an hour. I hadn’t been able to dedicate that kind of time to our friendship since I took her out for her birthday in February!

As many of you know, because you’ve commented on it. I haven’t written a Seeds for Wellness Journal since Mental Health Awareness Month last May. I’ve also fallen behind on writing the BFGP cookbook, 33 Delicious Recipes for the Brain. Why? Because other work-related priorities got in the way and I had to employ a process of elimination. New things filled the top of the priorities list while others fell to the bottom and stayed there. And now, I’m catching up on that important work that I enjoyed doing just as well.

I’ve decided that I want to make the most out of this time I’ve been given right now. Because when the pandemic is over, and it will be over, I don’t want to look back on this moment, as the racing speedway we call life zooms back at full throttle, and feel like I squandered it. I refuse to feel like I’ve missed a golden opportunity. Call it being more mindful. Call it making the best out of a terrible situation happening to everyone right now. Or call it my silver lining—an opportunity to turn the sickness, isolation and death into something that makes me feel whole and that provides some sort of meaning to this strange time.

What silver lining have you found during the self- distancing and mandated isolation we are all living through with the COVID-19 outbreak?

Baltic Street Community Resource and Wellness Center: Creating A Virtual Eye In This COVID-19 Storm

As many of you know, that follow any of Brain Food Garden Project’s social media platforms, some time ago, I partnered with Baltic Street’s Community Resource and Wellness Center. Baltic Street AEH, inc. was the first of its kind—an agency, created and managed by peers, to serve peers. It was a shining beacon in the sense that mental health survivors were at the helm of steering the ship of their own recovery and destiny. Today, Baltic Street remains the largest, most respected peer-operated program in the country. Brain Food Garden Project aspires to be a peer run and operated program—for peers, by peers— as well. So, when Baltic Street AEH, Inc.’s CEO, Isaac Brown, and the Center’s Director, Sara Goodwin, and Manager, Laurie Vite, wanted to expand the Center’s nutritional programming and to create an indoor garden space, BFGP and I seemed a natural fit. I had already created a garden space for a housing program in Queens, NY. And I facilitate Feeding Our Mental Health workshops for schools and mental health programs and organizations as part of our programming.

I began to work out of the Center three days a week and, after several months, was invited to be the Center’s Senior Peer Resource Specialist. Having already fallen completely in love with the participants and the resources the Center provides for our community, I felt it was not only an honor but a joy to work side-by-side with Laurie to continue to expand my duties. It didn’t hurt that I would work only three days a week which would allow me to continue working with BFGP’s partners to build our first mental health peer rooftop garden, as well as working on other important programs and projects.

It has been an extraordinary experience! And just when we were starting to plant our indoor greenhouse for spring ( as well as having recently added a hydroponic tent) and preparing to celebrate the Center’s 10 year anniversary of serving NYC’s mental health community. The Coronavirus outbreak closed the Center, like many other organizations and businesses, until further notice.

One of the things I love most about the Center is that, at its core and heart and soul, it operates with a Peer Resource Team who work everyday in this incredibly creative space that inspires us to be at our best, “Always in SERVICE to our community.”

At the time of the “shelter in place” order, our Director, Sara had already been out on medical leave for several weeks, recovering from an arm injury. And Laurie, the Center’s Manager, would be returning from a three month family leave taking care of her 93 year old father. Her official first week back would be our second week working from home in quarantine. In several conference call meetings with Laurie, during that first week as she still took care of her father, I kept coming back to this theme in our conversations: “How can the Center still be of service to our community with our doors closed?”

First, I pitched a “warm line” where the Center’s Peer Resource Specialists could be available for anyone that needed to talk. Isolation, for many of us, can be activating. It can bring on depression and create a cycle of reliving past trauma. As I mentioned earlier, I was quarantined in my apartment for less than a week when I started heading toward falling down the rabbit hole, myself. Having been the first team member from the Center to receive my new work phone, I myself, tested out the idea for the warm line that Thursday and Friday. I realized that our Facebook page would need to become even more of a tool for providing our community resources, so I posted my work number on the Facebook page. I was super excited to hear the voices of several of the Center’s participants that first day that I tested out the idea!

Second, the Center thrives on the groups, clubs, workshops and field trips that we offer to our community. I decided to put together and pitch phone-in workshops and groups that would take place 4 days a week in the afternoons lead by our Peer Resource Team. Now, going on week three, we have expanded to two workshops a day, with both morning and afternoon sessions, starting on Monday April 6, 2020. The morning sessions, are from 11am to 12pm and our afternoon sessions continue to run from 3pm to 4pm.

Laurie loved the ideas, and after getting fast approval from Baltic Street’s Director of Operations and with the assistance of Baltic Streets incredible technical support engineer, we held our first teleconference group the Monday of the second week of the quarantine. The Center found a way to continue to be of service to our community— to literally became the “virtual” eye in the storm of the Coronavirus.

To join the Baltic Street Community Resource and Wellness Center’s Facebook page click here if you would like to donate to Baltic Street AEH, Inc. click here

The Feeding Our Mental Health Workshops are held every Tuesday from 3-4pm Call-in information is provided every Monday on the Brain Food Garden Project social media platforms as well as the morning of the scheduled groups on the Baltic Street Community Resource and Wellness Center Facebook page. And to receive a flyer of the full list of weekly group offerings by email: [email protected]

The Baltic Street Community Resource and Wellness Center Warm Line operates five days a week Monday-Friday from 10am-3pm

Warm Line Mon-Fri. From 10am-3pm

Mon. Call Peer Resource Specialist Robert Santiago at extension 917-653-5390

Tue. Call Peer Resource Specialist Christina Correa at extension 917-653-5632

Wed. Call Peer Resource Specialist Paul Wachtel at extension 917-686-9385

Thurs. Call Peer Resource Specialist Sean Brennan at extension 917-982-9747

Fri. Call Peer Resource Specialist Caitlin Haughney at extension 917-653-0408

Notes From the Resistance:

The Coronavirus pandemic has been a reminder to most Americans that our countries little experiment with Authoritarian Fascism has been an utter disaster and failure—destroying countless human lives in its wake. The resistance has been the only thing standing between even more human suffering. And with COVID-19 and the horrifying response of 45 and his collaborators, the resistance continues to be a necessary source to protect the people suffering at this time.

1 in 7 people living in the United States live with not knowing where their next meal is going to come from. Food insecurity is unfortunately a challenge that we have sadly, not been able to overcome. During the pandemic this national crisis will only expand getting worse for millions of Americans. If you have more than you need at this time. You may want to consider donating to God’s Love We Deliver by clicking here. Or another excellent organization doing incredible work is Chef José Andrés World Central Kitchen you can donate by clicking here.

Baltic Street Community Resource and Wellness Center in association with Brain Food Garden Project has created a NYC guide, Resources for Avoiding Food Insecurity During the COVID-19 Crisis. To receive a copy of this resource tool email: [email protected]

It is so very important that during this unprecedented crisis we assist our neighbors, friends , and families to avoid unnecessarily experiencing food insecurity during this crisis. The resistance is the perfect organizational tool to move this vital work forward.

Delicious Recipes For the Brain:

I love this simple crockpot recipe! I make it all winter long. I happened to make a big batch right before I got sick and it restored my soul!! First, you can roast your own chicken for this recipe. However, it isn’t a prerequisite. I make a delicious roast chicken, which recipe I’ve posted in a back issue of the Seeds for Wellness Journal click here. However, this time I bought a pre-cooked roaster from the deli section of my local grocery store. This recipe can also be made completely vegetarian by subbing out organic, sodium free vegetable stock and replacing the chicken by adding a package of Shiitake and a package of Cremini mushrooms to the Button mushrooms.

Ingredients: (Cooking time 8 hours)

(1) Whole Roast Chicken

(1) Package large button mushrooms (or a selection of your favorite mushrooms)

(1) Package of Cellery

(2) Lemmons

(3) Red Bell Peppers

(6) Peeled Whole Garlic Cloves

(2) Packages of Zucchini “noodles” (if you have the proper tool and want to shred your own you will need 3 large whole zucchini’s)

(3) Medium red onions ( if you love the flavor of onions but not their texture you could sub out 3 tablespoons of onion powder)

(2) Large containers of sodium free chicken stock (I prefer organic but that is my preference)

(2) Cups of water

(5) Tablespoons of Cayenne pepper

Crushed sea salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:

(1)Prepare your vegetables by chopping them to your liking.

(2) Pour both cartons of your chicken stock into the crockpot

(3) Add the two cups of water to the stockpot

(4) Crush and add the garlic cloves, salt and pepper, and cayenne pepper to the stock.

(5) Add your chopped vegetables and two packages of zucchini noodles to the stock.

(6) Add the roasted chicken to the center of the crockpot

Place lid on crockpot and set timer for 8 hrs. After the first 4 hours remove chicken carefully and place on a cutting board let the chicken “rest” for 30 minutes allowing your soup stock and vegetables to continue cooking.

Remove the chicken meat and skin from the carcass adding the chicken meat back into the soup. Allow to continue cooking for the remaing pre-set crockpot time.

Squeeze the juice of your two lemons into finished soup, serve and enjoy!

[j-exclamationmark-l]

Kiryu Youtube video synopses

From November 2018 - December 2018 These are synopses, not direct translations, despite the fact I began to forget that during the top one, which I wrote last.

【本人解説】己龍最新アルバム「転生輪廻」マル秘トーク！ Kiryu talks about their new album Tenshou Rinne!

Synopsis: The five members gather together and give their thoughts about their new album.

Tsurushi Mitsuki: This is an older song I wrote, back in 2017. I made Mahiro sing in a very low register. Mahiro: I like the distortion effect in doubling my voice. Junji: I was surprised by this song, it has a nice balance between quiet and movement. Muku Mitsuki: This is the song where I began using a seven-string guitar. Hiyorin: The balance is very difficult to achieve, but once you get it, it's incredible. Junji: Between quiet and movement... THIS SONG IS DEFINITELY MOVEMENT. Oborodzukiyo Hiyorin: This kind of sounds like the kind of song we would have written in our early days. Takemasa: I think this song is more popular with our male fans since it's kind of R-rated. Mitsuki: I wanted to make a song that was dark and disturbing. Mahiro: I like this song. Junji: Between sun and shadow, this song is shadow. Ibitsu Mitsuki: This is maybe the prettiest song on the album, and a bonus track. It's a song about pain. Hiyori: The bass solo is very significant. Takemasa: After having written some hundred songs together, we've yet to have made a song like this. I'm glad we put it out now. Junji: Between strength and gentleness, this song is gentle. Hansuu Mitsuki: This is a song Takemasa wrote for us. It has a nice balance and it's really fun to play. Hiyori: It's fast and busy. Takemasa: I wrote it mostly on my iPhone. Mahiro: The speed and rhythm of it really makes it a unique song. Junji: This isn't a normal rhythmic pattern for Takemasa. It's all... (sings the pattern). That's it. That's all it is for me. [Then Junji compares it to some manga thing I'm not familiar with]. Tenshou Rinne Mitsuki: This is the kind of song that people who like Kiryu will enjoy. It's a very Kiryu song. We don't use normal phrases for us, though. Hiyori: It's really nice to hear you singing for us, Mitsuki. Mahiro: That was my idea. I thought it would add a nice kind of unique sparkle to it. Junji: This is a fast song. Watashi ha Kairai, Sarugutsuwa no Ningyou Mitsuki: This is a rather slow song for us. Hiyori: I felt like this song was a sort of turning point for us, that this is the song that shows we're no longer kids. Like we grew beards for this song. Mitsuki: I don't understand what on earth you're talking about. Hiyorin: Don't you feel like you finally grew pubic hair? Mitsuki: What? Like in junior high school, weirdo. How old are you, do you still not have hair there? Mahiro: I really like the balance and sound of this song. Basara Mitsuki: This song is called "Basara," AKA Take-punk. Takemasa: WHAT? WHY?? Mitsuki: Every time you submitted a demo of this song, the feeling of it was very uncertain. But the underlying sound was always kind of punk. Hiyorin: Thank you for all the deep feelings held in this song! Mahiro: I like this. Junji: I hate the rhythm. It's the same thing over and over again. Nopperabou Mitsuki: This song was born out of my want to write a song that had this sort of bass rhythm. For you, Hiyorin, it's all bass slaps. Hiyorin: Oh yeah! This is the most difficult song to play on this album! The rhythm is hard, and when I was recording, you kept asking for more and more. Mitsuki: And the lyrics, I really felt like I was able to write something significant and deep... Hiyorin: It is a sufficiently Micchan song. Junji: When you sent it to me, I couldn't even begin to imagine what the chorus would be like. Takemasa: We had to do so much reamping and such, this was also the most expensive song to make. Mahiro: There were just so many levels to making it. But in the end, it was fun. Mitsuki: How about it, Hiyorin? Can you go more? Hiyorin: ..I'm going to have to say for now, I'd like to stay at this level. Gekkabijin Mitsuki: This is the most Japanese-sounding track on the album. It's like Kiryu-pop. Takemasa: I had absolutely no idea where to insert this song in the album. Mitsuki: Maybe we should have made it a bonus track? Mahiro: Sometimes I forget we have songs like this, too. Junji: It's Mitsu-punk. Basara is Take-punk and Gekkabijin is Mitsu-punk. Harushigure Hiyorin: This song really conveys the feeling of now. This is really Takemasa's song. Kairai is Mitsuki's song of growth, and Harushigure is -- Takemasa: HAIR? HAIR? HAIR? Hiyorin: Your beard. Mitsuki: This is the world's beard. Mahiro: From the start, I knew this would be a good song. Junji: Takemasa wrote the music and Mitsuki wrote the lyrics, so it kind of feels like a thing you both peed on together. (Everyone laughs). No, it's a good song. It's good. I just hate it. I only play TAN-TAN-TA OVER AND OVER. Except at the end, I play DO-DO-DO. Then tan-tan-ta. But it sounds nice and sparkly. Jou no Ka Mitsuki: This is THE single Junji: The song that charmed the world. Mitsuki: We used this song in an anime. The concept came from trying to tackle something we couldn't do before. I wanted to do that. Everyone: Thank you. Hiyorin: I didn't cry, but I felt as though I might. It's a moving song. Junji: But then, seeing your name appear on the opening credits as the writer was kind of a blow. This song... between light and dark, this song is light. Mahiro: I really like this song. Kuroyami ni Madou Esoragoto Mitsuki: This song is "Kuroyami ni Madou Esoragoto," AKA the Take-ballad. Junji: This sounds like something he wrote when he was in school. This is back when it was just us in a Take-band. Prince Take hasn't changed a bit. Mitsuki: This song is just so heavy. Takemasa: I thought about all the things I wanted to say, the messages I wanted to get across. But I wasn't the one singing it, so I knew if Mahiro couldn't feel it, this song wouldn't resonate. Mahiro: It was really difficult to sing. Every line felt like a wound. Hiyorin: Usually songs feel like a journey. You hit this place, then return. Then you hit this place and return. This song starts with an intro that I expect to come back to, but you never come back to it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4Rv-pyuEXE

5000万円以上⁉コンビニATMに入金できる額の限界を調査 Over ￥500,000,000!? Let's see how much money a convenience store ATM can take.

Synopsis: Takemasa gathers a TON of money and tries to break the ATM by putting too much in at once. Result: Eventually, the ATM does stop accepting the money after depositing ￥305,000,000. Notable: Holding THAT MUCH money at once is genuinely terrifying. Takemasa tries to make a joke about it, but you can tell he's truly nervous to be holding that much in public.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4SRtOUadMs

【黒崎眞弥を観察する会】サイン書き Watch Kurosaki Mahiro write his signature

Synopsis: Mahiro announces he will now sign posters. He then begins silently signing posters. Result: Posters have been signed. Notable: That one time he moved a poster. It was magical.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tmRaTSFRys

己龍 九条武政より、今までありがとう。 Thank you for everything up until now. -Kujou Takemasa, Kiryu

Synopsis: Takemasa talks about his past in an overly dramatic way, how he decided that as long as he's in public, he will always wear his mask. As long as he has his mask, he is Kujou Takemasa. Result: In Macau, while bungee jumping, his mask flies off, and he pretends he died the moment the mask came off his face. Notable: OVER THE TOP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNb_NqnO9Fs

【初体験】まだ見ぬ仙台の味を求めて【���談有り】 [First Experience] We found a new flavor of Sendai (chat included)

Synopsis: Mitsuki and Hiyorin go to Sendai and talk about the kinds of food it's famous for: gyuutan, zunda, sasakama... but NO! They will not try these foods today! Instead, they'll try the first hamburger shop that was opened in Japan. Result: The two agree the hamburgers are good. Notable: Mitsuki relays a story. "Sometimes, when I go buy food, an old lady will say, 'please enjoy this with ketchup.' Sometimes the kids will write their names on their food in ketchup, too. And young couples will write each other's names." "That's sweet," Hiyoin comments. "They even draw a heart around it... the little shitheads," Mitsuki laughs. "GROW UP, MITSUKI!" Hiyorin manages through his own laughter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CEiLBSyab8

メントスコーラリベンジ Mentos-Cola Revenge

Synopsis: Mitsuki analyzes what went wrong in the first mentos and cola video and decides to try again. Result: A huge mess explosion. Notable: Mitsuki isn't sure about trying by himself, and wonders if someone very special will hear him call out for help, no matter where they are... he calls out, "HIYOOOORIIIIIIINNN!" and surely enough, Hiyorin sweeps in to save the day. Notable 2: It's rather humanizing to see Mitsuki and Hiyorin cleaning up their own mess.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=an_JFW6ck3o

【企画会議】みんなでネタ考えよう！ [Meeting Regarding Future Plans] Let's all think of ideas for videos!

Synopsis: Chamu (Codomo Dragon) and Mitsuki ask for help thinking of Youtube videos people would like to see. Mitsuki claims he's only good at thinking of food-related things. Later, Mitsuki recruits Zero Hertz's Gaga and Rio to help him try different toast toppings while Chamu films them. Result: Nori tsukudani (seaweed simmered in soy sauce) Mitsuki: Too salty, but otherwise good. Rio: It's like jelly. Gaga: Salty, but good. Ume gonomi (pickled plum) Mitsuki: Too sour. Rio: Too sour. Gaga: (feigns vomiting) Ika shiokara (salted and fermented squid) Mitsuki: SALTY!! Rio: (makes a face and groans while Mitsuki asks "is it that bad?") Gaga: Yum! Delicious! The best one we've tried so far. Salmon flakes Mitsuki: It tastes like margarine. Rio: (no comment) Gaga: It tastes like normal bread. Tarako flakes Mitsuki: Where did the tarako go? Rio: It's bread! Gaga: It's like eating sand. The ensuing laughter sounds like agreement from everyone. Minorusaki menma (fermented bamboo shoots) Mitsuki: It's good! Rio: Good! Gaga: Yum. Tastes like something sold at a ramen shop. Nametake (enoki mushroom) Mitsuki: I don't taste it. It's good, but it doesn't taste like nametake. Rio: (makes a face) Gaga: (nods) Natto (slimy fermented soybeans) Mitsuki: DELICIOUS! Rio: Yum! Gaga: It's good! Mitsuki's conclusion: Everything needs more mayonnaise.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29Z1sMuQQxM

【武道館ドラマーが】ドンキーコングトロピカルフリーズをまったりプレイ Part.2 A Drummer Who Has Performed at Budoukan plays Donkey Kong Tropical Breeze part 2

Synopsis: Junji plays Donkey Kong. Result: Junji plays Donkey Kong. Notable: Nothing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNUb1GWaEg8

おまえは誰だ "Who are you?"

Synopsis: Hiyorin tests the urban legend about going insane from asking your reflection in the mirror "Who are you?" repeatedly. Result: Nothing happens. Notable: A weird tapping around the 64th time Hiyorin asks his reflection "Who are you?" Hiyorin says that this must be the spirits coming after him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWNJvrJO2V8

【悶絶】辛味の奥に眠る旨味は見つけ出せるのか！？ [Watch as we pass out in pain] Can we bring out a dormant, delicious new flavor from spicy foods?

Premise: Mitsuki and Hiyorin try mixing a number of spicy soups together, despite both hating spicy food, in their quest to find something new and delicious. Result: Mitsuki decides, after getting over the initial pain, that it really does taste kind of good. Hiyorin dies from agony and says he can't tell if it tastes good or not because it's too painful to eat. Notable: Mitsuki flailing in pain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E6vfta-eF8

#kiryu #kiryu youtube #english kiryu #sakai mitsuki #kurosaki mahiro #kujou takemasa #isshiki hiyori #tokai junji #chamu #codomo dragon #zero hertz #gaga #rio

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The Greatest Guide To banana face mask

https://www.wikihow.com/Make-All-Natural-Face-Masks on an organic and natural kick today and I like not To place nearly anything on my skin that I could not, perfectly, take in. This implies I'm moisturizing much more with oils (Imagine sweet almond and coconut), I am scrubbing my skin and lips with brown sugar and coconut oil, I'm steaming my face about my teapot and i am taking baths in milk and salts. All You need to do is unfold some honey about your face and wait quarter-hour. Clean https://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Facial-Mask off applying lukewarm water, then gently pat your face dry using a tender, clean up towel.[23] [two] In addition, orange peel also incorporates potassium that can help the skin keep its humidity as well as magnesium that helps fight skin ageing induced by mobile oxidative problems. Suffice to convey then, that the rightful place for orange peels just isn't within your trash can but inside your attractiveness regimen. "My face is very oily and I have blackheads on my nose and chin. This worked really well, I will be applying it twice every week from now on."..." additional AO Afi Owusu I tried it yesternight …… The results had been remarkable …… My face was truely glowy glowy ……. I utilised the rice powder wnich I've grinded myself…. It has a little gritty composition which gave a wonderfull scrubbing xperience ….. Totaly in really like with the results….. *Thankyou* *thankyou* You need to use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in in your Hubpages account. No info is shared with Facebook Except you interact with this function. (Privacy Coverage) bdw I've a question … Can a lady eat tangy oranges for the duration of her intervals …. I suggest vitt c contented eatables For hundreds of years, individuals have been working with honey masks to be a remedy for acne and for curing other marks, scars, spots, and blemishes. There's not only one recipe for just a honey mask that treats acne, but relatively, it might be comprised of different combos of herbs along with other substances. On this page, we’ll make an effort to include all related facets linked to utilizing honey masks as a treatment method for acne. Mixture skin signifies you will have a slightly oily T-zone and drier cheeks with dry patchy places below and there. This rose-primarily based mask is ideal for balancing out the oily and dry regions of your skin. We will make use of your facts to handle your account and requests and for study and analytics. We may perhaps share your details with dependable events acting on our behalf together with other The Body Shop firms. Honey consists of a significant serving of antioxidants for moisturized and vibrant skin. Polyphenols in honey damage no cost radicals that bring about oxidative worry in skin cells, thereby slowing down the growing older technique of skin. OEM ODM rorec moisturizing nourishing Olive honey aloe vera pomegranate blueberry cucumber sheet face mask Avoid the Solar between 10am and 2pm, as This really is when its rays are most dangerous.[18] If you don't like wearing sunscreen, consider using a moisturizer or Basis that have already got sunscreen in it.

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Banana Face Mask For Different Skin Types Get 1 ripe avocado, take out seed and 1 medium sized banana and blend it to kind a thick paste. Include 1 tbsp of honey and mix all the ingredients extensively. Apply this paste all on your own face (keep far from eyes), neck and hand and canopy your eyes with cucumber slice. Honey is naturally antibacterial, which allows your skin fight off acne. Moreover it has an a fantastic antioxidant potential, and you desire antioxidants about to battle the no cost radicals that hurt the skin. Keep your eyes crystal clear even though implementing these banana face mask, Go over your eyes with freshly Minimize cucumber slices. This also help to lessen the appearance of darkish circle below your eyes. Together, they cited info from 27 references. wikiHow's Articles Management Crew carefully monitors the perform from our editorial team to make certain that Every short article fulfills our substantial benchmarks. When you have cystic acne, white toothpaste (not gel) is an excellent remedy. Use some prior to deciding to head over to mattress each night time, and you will see a massive difference any time you get up. No prob, Amy! Just desired to Enable you to and anyone else examining that I feel Costco carries that very same manufacturer of coconut oil for a few bucks a lot less. I don’t Dwell around a Costco, but anybody else who does is likely to be happy to know that You might really feel a slight stinging through the baking soda, if you have delicate skin. On the other hand, don’t stress the baking soda doesn’t warrant a serious concern. In case you are uncertain how your skin will react into the baking soda, examination a small, inconspicuous area of your face very first right before making use of it throughout. "It really is definitely refreshing and successful. It's the easiest face mask to help make with what is actually by now on-hand. I attempted it and obtained Excellent effects."..." far more CK Corrina Knape Orange peel incorporates highly effective Houses that aid hold aggravating pimples away. Utilize a thick coat of the zit-busting orange peel face mask to deep-cleanse your pores and generate out the Grime, grime, surplus oil, and microorganisms, all of which result in pimples and blackheads to type within the skin surface. To have the most bang on your buck and the ideal results, look for cold pressed, unrefined coconut oil. I use THIS coconut oil. You will discover chilly pressed, unrefined coconut oil in the majority of grocery and overall health food items retailers. "I know that almost everything in this article will function. I'm hoping for the very best! Thanks a great deal!" AA Abhishek Arora Incorporate the dairy product and stir right up until a sleek paste varieties. You should utilize a lot less dairy if you like a thicker paste. 4 tbsp. finely floor espresso or coffee beans (now floor coffee and also prompt coffee perform if you do not have your personal grinder) As this mask could possibly get messy, it would be a good idea to tie or pin your hair back again. You might also want to contemplate draping a towel about your upper body and shoulders to safeguard your apparel.

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Together, they cited details from 27 references. wikiHow's Content material Management Crew carefully displays the do the job from our editorial workers to make certain each posting fulfills our significant benchmarks. Kindly suggestions on the most effective blend to first obvious the black acne heads, which resulted from my buying the face. It occurs unconsciously. Next is to restore my glowing sleek skin texture. As it burns I am able to’t leave it on for too extended. I clean it off and utilize the rest of the banana and depart it on for fifteen-20 min and clean it off with chilly drinking water and end off having a moisturiser. I'm loving it. Perfect for troubled skin. Some medical doctor’s termed that banana is really a purely natural Botox as this is a purely natural approach to achieve youthful skin that’s free of charge from pimples and wrinkles. In this banana face mask, I incorporate yogurt and orange juice. In case you read my preceding posts you may know that I wrote a write-up on how to handle acne utilizing papaya With this submit I wrote numerous ways to employ papaya to treat acne. Originally, apply the yogurt evenly about your face and depart on for quarter-hour. If following a couple of days you are feeling like your pores are smaller sized and skin Over-all enhanced, try out preserving the mask on for a longer time future time. (i) Whilst implementing a natural face mask such as this, help it become positive to stand about your sink or in bathroom to stay away from slippage on the floor. Tend not to rub your face to wipe from the mask, just use a clean cloth with warm h2o. It makes the removing much easier. Wear dark outfits while you are applying this mask since it stains the clothes (I learnt it the hard way!). This mask by itself gained’t dispose of the acne episodes. You might have to do that mask as well as other residence-treatment. To your acne and pimple complications research This page. This site has very best treatment options for acne and pimple concerns: Scientific studies have revealed that egg proteins significantly contribute in preserving the elasticity of skin. An egg incorporates about 69 distinctive proteins, which have the magical electrical power of lowering good traces and provides temporary reduction for the deep kinds. i am having pimples for 1 calendar year i utilized many but practically nothing worked .could you advise me by utilizing pimples and marks received by them The applying of the egg white mask can clog the pores and improve the potential of breakouts for individuals who have acne vulnerable skin. Other Uncomfortable side effects include the unfold of germs over the skin, as raw egg whites have salmonella, a bacterium that might cause foodstuff poisoning.

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As this mask might get messy, It could be a smart idea to tie or pin your hair back again. You may additionally want to contemplate draping a towel about your upper body and shoulders to protect your outfits. It also will help take out blackheads and scars. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrJNSnAWK8Y is surely an age-outdated skin cleanser. It eliminates impurities and performs like a normal emollient. Has highly effective antibacterial Homes. Kills microorganisms to stop incidence of pimples and acne. Enable your acne and rough skin troubles disappear Then you can certainly use these cures to eliminate dark circles: Simply because cinnamon is so effective, I'd personally propose only using this honey mask as soon as per week at most. You can utilize one of many other, gentler honey masks on other days in the event you’d like. Thanks in your quick reply. Could you please allow me to know any face pack which I'm able to use day by day in order to avoid extreme oil on my face. Transform and detoxify your skin which has a facial mask formulated to expose pure, clean and dazzling skin To accomplish your registration you should enter the verification code you acquired on your cellular. In case you haven't gained the verification code, be sure to SMS REWARDME to 9223347100 It’s all approximately the person skin. A lot of people locate basic, organic yogurt functions like a magic to deal with acne, Other people obtain their skin is worsened. So, attempt it some instances and check its result upon your skin over a number of weeks. Make sure you recommend some excellent face mask to ensure my skin will likely be distinct from small acne on forehead and oil. Hope you may me to receive very good skin:) This stone mask within the pre-ceramic neolithic period of time dates to 7000 BC and is probably the oldest mask on the earth (Musée "Bible et Terre Sainte") Immediately after implementing honey compresses for eight times, he identified the microbes had entirely disappeared with no his taking just one antibiotic. And how to care day-to-day regime fir my below eye skin to help keep it youthful for prolonged a long time. Be sure to assistance me…. Here are several of the greatest pure moisturizers for oily skin. As you're a male, use these skin care strategies for Guys:

The 5-Second Trick For coffee face mask

In case you are looking for an all-pure Option for managing acne, good lines and wrinkles, and hyperpigmentation, then you might want to consider using an egg white mask. These masks, which you can have completed skillfully or make at your house, are considered helpful in managing many skin difficulties due to the proteins current while in the egg whites, which could boost skin tone and elasticity. Incorporate brown sugar to desired thickness. The amount of brown sugar you include will rely all on your own preferences. If you need the paste to become thicker, incorporate a lot more sugar; to get a lighter, runnier exfoliating paste, add considerably less sugar. Hi Fahi! Sure, I’d give it a try and see how your skin likes it! But something else that actually works very well for obvious pores is my deep pore cleaning mask recipe — I think you’ll definitely like that a person and spot a big change. Merge lemon juice and olive oil in container. Make certain that They can be nicely blended. You may use the container that you will be storing the exfoliating scrub in. For Sophisticated Dermatology, that affiliation features collaboration in generating, sustaining, and funding This web site. For Formulyst, the affiliation contains that we make a percentage of the proceeds on revenue of Formulyst products that are obtained via our web site as Component of our affiliate partnership. The associations with State-of-the-art Dermatology and Formulyst might have an impact on how products and solutions are reviewed and rated on the internet site. Pour one tsp of sugar into the palm of the hand. You can utilize whichever sugar you prefer. Many people recommend using brown sugar as it’s softer and gentler to your skin.[two] It's also possible to use coarser, granulated sugar if you like. It’s truly a make any difference of non-public choice. Wow, I am able to’t hold out to do this! Likely to test it tonight simply because I can’t wait around. In this article’s the insane issue I put on my face. …I purchase the massive aloe leaves in the make section at Wegmans. I peel them and Lower the insides into very little chunks that I set in a very jar and keep in the fridge. Coconut oil melts with very little warmth. Just putting a dab in strong kind in the palm within your hand will soften quickly. In case you’re concerned about it clogging, I would propose running some sizzling h2o inside the sink with a sprint of dawn dish soap to interrupt it up Once you have completed Together with the oil. It shouldn’t truly do any hurt, even so the dish soap could possibly be a straightforward preventative measure. There are a wide variety of masks used in Africa. In West Africa, masks are Employed in masquerades that sort part of religious ceremonies enacted to communicate with spirits and ancestors. Illustrations tend to be the masquerades of your Yoruba, Igbo, and Edo cultures, such as Egungun Masquerades and Northern Edo Masquerades. The masks usually are carved with a rare ability and selection by artists who will often have acquired their instruction as an apprentice to some learn carver - regularly This is a tradition which has been passed down in just a family by way of numerous generations. You might just preserve it in an air-limited container and set it inside the freezer. Then subsequent 7 days, just take out it about an hour or so before you decide to apply it in order for it to thaw. thanks a lot of Kelly.. My skin looks so fairly each time following I take advantage of this mix.. my skin improving as well .. and i constantly do use this mix in advance of any vital event and also the glow really lasts quite extensive ample for till the top of activities.. like u Rinse your face with awesome water. Rinse your face with interesting water until finally the scrub is completely absent, then pat your face dry with a clean up, dry washcloth. You must notice that your skin includes a slight glow and feels smooth. If you can and you've got the necessary components, then It's a necessity. Nonetheless if you do not have the required ingredients or time, then make it frequent but not every single day. step toremedies for making your account on EverydayMe. This text or item is added to the favorites.

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Ideally, implement these egg white face masks about a sink or clean basin to avoid developing a mess. After software, keep your face above the sink for the couple seconds to collect any First drippings. Disclaimer: The content on This website is generic, informational and adjunctive at most effective, but are unable to function a alternative for Specialist health care information. It is actually your decision, you will get a truly feel for what your skin usually takes And exactly how finely ground the coffee is. ​Leftover paste could be saved within the refrigerator for several times. Rinse your face with water, gently pat dry utilizing a tender towel and implement a light cream to seal during the absorbed nutrients. I feel I’ll truly Incorporate three and four due to the fact I've dry and inflamed skin. Among the perks of working with this sort of components is that they received’t react poorly with each other like atore bought ones could! Once i was about fourteen, my hair bought a little oily from my things to do. To keep my hair fresh new longer soon after I washed it, I would use whipped egg white on it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me0OTLqmi58 put it in my moist hair, and Permit it dry, then brushed it out. My hair had more volume much too. I'm wondering what my Duchess will think about all that scrumptious egg on my face. Duchess is my attractive cat. Honey is a natural humectant that pulls in dampness in the air, leaving your skin moist and easy, and it could also enable crack up extra sebum that might be clogging up your pores (and bringing about pesky pimples). An egg has quite a few antioxidants which make your skin glow and getting Banana within the face pack adds a far more nutritional importance to it. Additionally, these peels may be soaked in boiling h2o for a day plus the resultant liquid can be utilized for a skin toner. You may as well utilize it like a hair rinse so as to add glow in your hair and dispose of dandruff.   I realized the honey and lemon were being good for the skin but not the egg whites. That is the future issue I need to try out. i do believe that egg white on your own is very productive in dealing with skin concerns, my Tale of acne Once i was eighteen was cured by egg white. After i turned 22 the same remedy. and now im 27,managing my Grownup acne.just dont be lazy Place the egg white and orange juice in a small mixing bowl and whisk until it will become frothy. Insert in turmeric powder and blend extensively. Be certain the combination will not be much too drippy. Working with thoroughly clean palms, implement the combination to the face and therapeutic massage in the circular movement, letting it to sink deep into your skin. Honey and avocado are the best combo of hydrating ingredients for dry skin. Ground almonds gently exfoliate, as well as their excellent fats go away your skin feeling Tremendous gentle. If you want to add more moisturizing Rewards, insert a tablespoon of oil to the combo.

Examine This Report on skin care

How it works: Avocado is good for hydration and it exfoliates and cleans up your pores. Banana On the flip side enable lessening aging indications. Thnx lots fr ur speedy rply chandni…m much relievd nw…m glad dat i cme on diz website page n fulfill a frnd like u…thnx fr such handy n quick Do it yourself property fce packs little doubt as ud skin luks so distinct beautiful n youthful wil test dem as i hve dry skin…can u suggest a simple remedy fr underneath eye dark circles thnx in advnce Splash your face with cold h2o. Make use of the coldest drinking water it is possible to deal with, as this may help near your pores and lock in the main advantages of the mask. Afterward, Carefully pat your face dry with a cleanse, dry washcloth. Magnificence Epic will be the Natural beauty Community that sets a completely new degree of have faith in and honesty in magnificence details. We have been driven by a commitment to enhance Ladies's life by masking everyday breakthroughs in magnificence, Life style and Health. . Any in excess of that and you also’ll be dripping honey all over! I'd a problem with dripping at first, but once I Minimize back on the quantity of honey I used, the problem fixed by itself. In addition to that it’s a little more economical this way, way too! Rub the answer in circular motions over your skin for three to five minutes. You needn’t be as careful when you were together with your face, as being the skin on the remainder of One's body is a lot less sensitive. Now, a lot of the recipes underneath tend to be more effective and will only be utilised 1-2 times weekly. Other individuals You may use each day. I’ve built notes for how often Every single mask really should be applied. Utilizing cleanse fingers, use the mask onto your face and massage it systematically through your face for sixty seconds. Then reapply a thick coat in the mask on to your face and lie down for fifteen mins. Breathe calmly and Assume constructive ideas while letting the mask work its magic! • Merely rubbing clean orange peel in your face allows lighten skin colour. Additionally, it tightens the skin and increases the feel. Thanks for generating your account on EverydayMe. This information or solution has long been included for your favorites. We use cookies to make sure that we give you the best working experience on our Web-site. When you go on to employ This website We're going to believe that you'll be proud of it.Alright Dr. Boling reminds us that bananas have medicinal properties that may be used to soothe many inflammatory skin circumstances, including acne. Dr. Boling states, “According to a 2012 report in the Journal of Pharmacology and Phytochemistry No one will attempt any facial items that do not fetch any Rewards. Bananas have a great reward on our skin. Listed here are awesome banana face mask recipes you You need to use this moisturizing mask a number of occasions a week if you’d like. It’s incredibly Light on this skin.

skin care - An Overview

Our companions use cookies to make sure we show you marketing that may be pertinent for you. If you go on without having Altering your configurations, we'll assume that you're content to acquire all cookies on Boldsky Site. However, you could adjust your cookie configurations at any time. Learn more You are positive to notice a pleasant advancement for your acne scars which can appear less noticeable than just before! Vitamin B – This vitamin can help in protecting against and managing the skin from the signs of aging. Furthermore, it allows in lightening the complexion in addition to nourishes the skin from deep in. This content material is accurate and legitimate to the very best with the author’s understanding and is not meant to substitute for official and individualized advice from a professional Qualified. Together, they crystal clear up the skin pores. Honey is often a purely natural antioxidant and it has antimicrobial Homes. This eradicates the microbial infections that bring about acne. Korean masks have a long custom affiliated with shamanism and later on in ritual dance. Korean masks have been used in war, on both soldiers as well as their horses; ceremonially, for burial rites in jade and bronze and for shamanistic ceremonies to push away evil spirits; to recollect the faces of fantastic historical figures in death masks; and from the arts, specifically in ritual dances, courtly, and theatrical plays. This can be employed to gather information on traffic to content articles and other pages on our site. Except if that you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable facts is anonymized. Suffering from dry or aging skin? This honey face mask is sure to plump up and moisturize your skin cells and go away you searching fresher and more youthful than ever right before. Supply Also referred to as The Hot Face Mask, it truly is made up of honey, cinnamon, nutmeg, and lemon. It’s the lemon that triggers the burning feeling, but that’s if you place greater than 1/two a teaspoon! Anti-inflammatory signifies your inflamed crimson acne will likely be soothed and healed, generating them less pronounced. Antibacterial and antiseptic Homes can help fight off acne causing germs and microbes, staving off a lot more acne and pimples. Masks in numerous varieties (sacred, simple, or playful) have performed a vital historic function in the development of understandings about "what this means being human", since they allow the imaginative knowledge of "what it can be like" to become reworked into a different identification (or to affirm an current social or spiritual identification).[22] Not all cultures have regarded the use of masks, but most of them have.[23] Masks in functionality A "shameful" mask (Schandmaske in German) is devised for community humiliation; a well-liked reduced kind are donkey ears for your bad pupil or university student Combining avocado with banana this mask is a terrific way to deeply nourish and moisturize the dry skin from deep in just.

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Almost Never ever had a crack from it Inspite of all prescription drugs internally and externally Despite having household made recipes. I pray this coffee will it for me Stay clear of skin-harmful foods. This contains processed or refined carbohydrates and also harmful fats. Consuming a lot of of such make your skin age faster. Prevent consuming a lot of sugars likewise.[fourteen] It is quite common understanding that oranges undoubtedly are a godsend for your skin. What isn’t emphasised plenty of, nevertheless, is the fact that when it comes to rejuvenating your lackluster skin, by far the most potent part of the fruit is, in fact, it’s peel. Image: Karen Cox/SheKnows For individuals who don’t have enough time to whip up a whole Do-it-yourself banana mask, a refreshing banana versus inflamed skin may well do the trick. To maintain pimples absent, use orange peel mask. In addition it cleans your pores of your dirt and oil and prevent blackhead as well. Insert the olive oil or coconut oil. You will need two teaspoons of olive oil. The olive oil will moisturize your face, leaving the skin emotion delicate and smooth. If you do not have olive oil, You can utilize coconut oil instead, which is also incredibly moisturizing. Will not rub your face to wipe off the mask, just make use of a wash cloth with heat drinking water. It will make the removal easier. Do you are doing a thing weird like rubbing a little something all over your face right before a date (or some thing critical), as well? Or perhaps you have got Yet another humorous ritual? I’d love to hear about it! Go away me a comment and let me know so I understand I’m not the only weirdo who does this stuff Take into consideration adhering to up with some moisturizer. The lemon With this mask could be a very little drying for your skin. If you discover that your face is a little bit dry, utilize some moisturizer to your face. https://twitter.com/steptoremedies/status/1087123981155618816 purchased a jar of it from wal mart but was $4 much more Wished I’d found This web site last 7 days. Can’t wait around to try this. I take advantage of coconut oil for a lot of things. This tends to avoid it from acquiring sticky. To protect your apparel, take into account draping a towel in excess of your upper body and shoulders. Picking sorting selection will mechanically update the items that are exhibited to match the selected sorting alternative > Onion juice is widely utilized to be a all-natural cure to treat hair decline and hair thinning. It contains wide quantities of sulfur, that is a component on the amino acids present in the hair. Blend well which has a motorized blender and make use of a beauty brush to apply this egg white face mask in your skin.

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The amount you exfoliate is up for discussion. Some Women of all ages have skin that receives scaly rapidly. Many others seem dewy and contemporary with minimal fuss. Dermatologist Dr. Wash oranges and peel off the top most section. Seek to stay away from the white part just as much as is possible. For this, you should definitely use a sharp knife. You can buy microdermabrasion kits. See an inventory of the best facial scrubs and microdermabrasion kits. Individuals in the black bloc at protests commonly have on masks, frequently bandannas, to stay away from recognition, and to attempt to shield from any riot Regulate brokers employed. Rest your self as you await the combination to settle and dry on your own face. You can lie down and breathe deeply, imagining satisfied views! It's also possible to get ready a DIY face mask to eliminate facial hair by mixing egg whites with added-fantastic white sugar and corn starch. The sugar and corn starch flip the whisked egg whites into a peel-off mask on drying. Indeed, it will make a great Light cleanser likewise. I really like how it helps make my face sense within the mornings. Consider an egg as opposed to dairy When you are an egg mask lover, or substitute oils, such as olive oil, extra virgin coconut oil, or sweet almond oil In case you have dehydrated skin. If utilizing oils, halve the quantity or it will be also runny. Mash up the banana, then blend in the honey. For most effective effects, put the elements inside a blender. Incorporate more info at social media in the lemon or orange. Use to face for 15 minutes prior to rinsing with a amazing washcloth or a steaming warm washcloth. Stick to together with your regular moisturizer. Coffee and cocoa face masks have long been a favorite of elegance aficionados. As a mix, they minimize puffiness within the face along with the eye location, brighten skin and wake up a dull complexion (good day caffeine!). This facial mask recipe is effective excellent irrespective of your skin form. Mix perfectly having a motorized blender and utilize a beauty brush to use this egg white face mask on the skin. Rites of passage, like initiation of younger members of the family, or funerals, were being carried out in the shrine underneath the look at on the ancestral masks. At https://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Banana-Facial-Mask , professional actors would use these masks to execute deeds from the life of your ancestors,[24] Consequently linking the function of mask being a ritual item As well as in theatre. Fantastic and beneficial article. I like something do-it-yourself - It is really usually the purest and Ideal! I would use only organic and natural oranges due to many of the pesticides which can be Typically sprayed on them. Honey for the skin is largely character’s wonder, and these 4 Uncooked honey face mask recipes are a few of my favorite home made recipes for nourishing my skin.

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To begin receiving timely alerts, as demonstrated beneath click on the Inexperienced “lock” icon next to the handle bar Yoghurt, as everyone knows, is a loaded all-natural source of protein and likewise contains lactic acid. This makes it the best ingredient to hydrate and moisturize the dry skin. Banana is packed with skin-useful nutrients and one of them should be to lessen the signs of aging.Indeed, banana will help you banish All those great strains and wrinkles. Oily skin is the main cause of acne breakout. Through the many solutions for oily skin The ultimate way to take care of it really is utilizing banana. Cut down your worry ranges. Strain can not simply wreck havoc on the mind and snooze, but your skin likewise. It can lead to acne, breakouts, along with other skin difficulties. Established practical objectives and boundaries on your own, and leave time every week so as to do things which you delight in. I liked the eggwhite, lemon and honey mask and I will use it 2 times a week. What https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facemask am i able to use for each day to improve my sagging skin, lighten the dark marks below my eyes and enable my turkey neck? I would like to question if it is regular to possess pink places showing on my face? Because I'm believing that it might be typical and just after it healed then I will have improved result if it healed than utilizing honey mask A straightforward way to independent yolk from whites is you crack an egg right into a bowl and consider an empty drinking water bottle and squeeze it, be sure to maintain that grip. then place the hole from the bottle over the yolk and Allow that grip go and it need to suck the yolk to the bottle. Do this incredibly easy and very effective treatment to deep cleanse your skin and expose a glowing complexion! Blend matcha powder, honey and oil in a little bowl and blend nicely. (If you don’t have matcha powder, Slice open up a inexperienced tea bag and utilize the leaves.) Utilize this for the face and leave it for 15 minutes before washing off heat h2o. The necessary oil should normally be utilised with The essential oil in ideal amount. This maintains a great stability! Hold the mask on for ten to 15 minutes, then wash off with warm h2o. After patting your face dry that has a clean towel, you should definitely moisturize your face to stop your sebaceous glands (which hydrate skin by manufacturing pure oils) from going into overdrive to make up for The shortage of oils. Utilize moisturizer or lotion although your skin remains to be moist. Use facial moisturizers and creams on your own face, and lotions or system butter on Your whole body. Transform the sort of moisturizer or lotion you use depending upon the season. Once i was all over fourteen, my hair got a little bit oily from my functions. To help keep my hair contemporary longer just after I washed it, I might use whipped egg white on it. I place it in my moist hair, and let it dry, then brushed it out. My hair experienced additional volume far too.

sugar face mask No Further a Mystery

You will find a lot of well being and sweetness great things about consuming eggs. Also, Uncooked eggs can be employed to generate DIY hair masks to solve all your hair complications and DIY peel-off face masks to take care of skin complications and help your skin’s All round wellness and overall look. Disclaimer: The articles on This website is generic, informational and adjunctive at ideal, but are not able to serve as a replacement for Experienced medical advice. Turmeric masks are commonly used to even out skin tone and cut down the looks of darkish spots or scars. Honey adds a slight bleaching influence though lemon juice and yogurt gently exfoliate to remove lifeless skin and really encourage new cell development. Based on the BBC, a man via the name of Sam Edwards from Wrexham, Wales credited honey with conserving his leg! Just after being cut by a koi carp, he became infected with Mycobacterium marinum and formulated a uncommon skin condition. Just washed it off. Skin is smother, complexion simply a taaaaaaad little bit brighter (not as dull) and perhaps. Pimples and redness just as prominent, perhaps a bit much more (imagined I suspect that’s through the cinnamon’s The natural way granular and abrasive texture). These four honey face mask recipes use distinctive further components, based upon your skin kind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SB0QLruqRrQ are all manufactured with food-dependent ingredients which might be probably inside your kitchen area right now. Uncomplicated and practical! By promoting blood circulation within the skin, orange peel powder encourages a healthy rosy-coloured tone in skin. Enhanced circulation allows nutrients in the blood to get to the skin cells and nourish it. So ladies, future time any time you enjoy tangy oranges, don’t overlook to feed your skin with each of the attractiveness advantages of this Tremendous delicious fruit. That’s it for right now, till next time, consider care and continue to be tuned to IMBB. Here i will discuss 5 uncomplicated recipes to have you begun. Find the one particular that works on your skin form or the challenge you wish to address. No HTML is authorized in reviews, but URLs might be hyperlinked. Opinions aren't for promoting your content or other websites. With this easy blemish-eliminating face mask, You simply need to have two other substances: honey and yogurt. These powerhouse ingredients are filled with nutrients that deliver nourishing Added benefits to skin. Honey, especially, helps in night out discolorations and blemishes on skin. Elizabeth may be the founder and creative director in the Nourished Life. Her mission is to help you persons locate a far more well balanced (much less tense!) approach to living a happy, nutritious daily life. Study more details on Elizabeth in this article. These seem like outstanding face masks, honey does miracles towards your skin and leaves your face amazingly clean! An additional face mask that is super uncomplicated and intensely advantageous is a simple honey and cinnamon mask. The fresh lemon juice also will work to crystal clear acne and lighten the skin to provide you with smooth, blemish-cost-free skin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pafCn_5-6Oc about strawberry face mask

Vitamin B – This vitamin will help in protecting against and dealing with the skin from your signs of ageing. In addition it assists in lightening the complexion as well as nourishes the skin from deep inside of. Equilibrium out oily skin with a gentle, but efficient orange peel face mask that may leave your skin refreshing and toned. Soon after making use of honey compresses for 8 times, he located the micro organism experienced wholly disappeared with no his having only one antibiotic. Banana is considered as Among the most delectable fruits all around the world. Other than The nice style, there are several skin advantages of banana. Wash oranges and peel off the best most portion. Make an effort to steer clear of the white component as much as possible. For this, ensure that you use a sharp knife. Banana being a wealthy purely natural supply of potassium and vitamin A is regarded as the most effective all-natural skin care ingredients. For those who have an American fashion coffee equipment, use the coffee grinds in the filter; For those who have an Italian style equipment, just unscrew and remove the debris left among the parts of the cafetiere. You may use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in for your Hubpages account. No information is shared with Facebook Until you interact using this type of attribute. (Privacy Coverage) I have a little, modest pimple on my forehead(tzone) from so a few years, I have consulted the dermatologist too they gave some creams for software, Till i use Those people creams,my forehead is clear after I ended utilizing once more tiny acne will begin on my forehead. I have troubled skin including clogged pores on my forehead and lots of blackheads on my nose, what would you advise is the greatest purely natural remedies for extracting the Dust and oil in my pores? my skin could get dry pretty quickly nevertheless it tends to be pretty oily :(( गर्म पानी से नहाना पड़ सकता है महंगा-बर्बाद हो सकती है सेक्सुअल लाइफ Egg whites support tighten skin, generating them an efficient household remedy for minimizing appearance of crow’s-toes underneath and close to eyes. This do-it-yourself face mask is healthier if you have sensitive or dry skin, as it's gentler and more nourishing. You'll need ground coffee beans, two times as much floor oats and a tablespoon of honey.  Even though there are numerous skin care solutions out there out there but very little can provide you with with the sort of most effective effects that a humble fruit as banana can. The banana face mask will do miracles to your skin.

Helping The others Realize The Advantages Of skin care

Use a heavier, richer 1 over the Wintertime, in addition to a lighter a single in the summer. Contemplate a moisturizer that contains SPF to protect your skin in opposition to the sun's dangerous rays. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/722616702689410044/ in vitamin C, orange peel is great for lightening dim spots and acne scars. Evens out skin discolorations Honey's intensive antibacterial motion can cure present acne and prevent any more unwelcome pimples. Honey has amazing antibacterial Homes that assistance sooth irritation and stimulate The expansion of new skin tissue. Hi! Healthmunsta, I thank you for sharing this informative article about egg white face mask. When I was in highschool, I'd a Instructor who instructed me that she works by using egg white and milk combination for her face mask. No, as it has far too much oil in it. The straightforward mask works as the lemon juice acts as an astringent, although the honey can help filter the acne-resulting in germs. Thanks! Sure No Not Valuable 14 Handy 46 You can do the egg white facial as element of your weekly skin servicing plan. For face masks targeted to protecting against excessively oily skin, take a look at this hub in its place: ... I’m undecided in which you acquired the witch hazel from, but that may be a fascinating experiment. Allow us to know the way you want it Limit bath time. Very hot water and extended showers or baths get rid of oils from your skin. Restrict your bath or shower time, and use warm — instead of sizzling — drinking water. Can it be ok To place it on in the evening and snooze in and and acquire better yet success? Or leaving it on from the night time isn’t about to make any difference if leaving it on for 30 minutes? I don’t want to dry out my face If that's so. Many thanks for the posting Incidentally. Use the mask over your face and hold out 20 minutes. Wash it off utilizing lukewarm h2o, then gently pat your face dry by using a delicate, clean up towel.[22] Take into consideration incorporating a squeeze of lemon juice to brighten your skin or cut down acne. 1. As currently stated, orange juice is rich in ascorbic acid written content and deep cleanses the skin carefully. It lightens existing acne spot and blemishes. Orange juice also brightens complexion and retains in Examine abnormal oil secretion. Hi, I used honey mask for 6 times and saw a bright and healthy final result on my face then I try to use Honey+Egg+Lemon and noticed blemishes scattered on my face just on 1st working day of use, I continue working with it on one other working day hoping that It really is just the response of working with it fro the first time. Among The key tips on how to just take care of one's skin is to protect it with the Sunshine. A lifetime of Solar exposure could cause wrinkles, age spots and various skin difficulties — as well as improve the risk of skin cancer.

5 Simple Statements About coffee face mask Explained

Don’t press tough. The sugar will do its do the job In spite of gentle force, so resist the urge to push down hard when you distribute it more than your skin. Hello there, I'm just wondering when there is something I could to eliminate or lower my sagging face specially my chin and jaw location. I absolutely beloved studying your hub! As a youngster my mother would use egg white on her face, but I'd no idea about all the opposite elements you could possibly use to lighten darkish places and hydrate skin! [two] Additionally, orange peel also incorporates potassium that helps the skin retain its dampness and magnesium that helps combat skin growing older induced by mobile oxidative problems. Suffice to say then, that the rightful spot for orange peels is not with your trash can but in your magnificence program. Must you use all of the combination and can you save the rest for one more use? Also, how frequently really should it's utilized? https://www.pinterest.com/pin/722616702689372461 may blend them, but this concoction will not have extensive shelf existence. It’s generally far better to prepare contemporary fruits masks for finest outcomes…… one. Just source:- steptoremedies : Mash a ripe banana and implement on the face and skin. Let it sit on the face for 15 minutes then rinse it off with cold drinking water. To work with orange peel powder being a all-natural cleanser, Mix it with just a little h2o for making a paste. Apply it on your skin and go away it on until it dries totally. Eventually, rinse it off with lukewarm drinking water. Do that before you decide to go to bed and leave the mask on overnight. Rinse your face with warm water the following morning. It is recommended to do this for 2 months then evaluate the results. I have hardly ever utilized it on my skin even though, but I will consider it. Thanks for sharing. I've bookmarked it to refer back I Voted it up and beneficial. Increase a mashed up banana for the egg yolk. Peel a banana open, and Minimize it to lesser pieces having a knife. Make use of a fork to mash it to your pulp. The banana should help nourish your face. No, as it has a lot of oil in it. via stepto remedies to read the full post will work because the lemon juice acts as an astringent, whilst the honey may help filter out the acne-causing germs. Many thanks! Certainly No Not Practical 14 Handy 46 Comprehensively rinse your face with cool water. Rinse your face with amazing drinking water right until the scrub is totally absent, after which pat your face dry having a clear, dry washcloth. -Everytime you rinse your face or other system areas soon after making use of these masks, never use any type of soap. The truth is, cleaning soap will not be advised to the treatment method of acne, due to the fact the condition goes far over and above basic dirt or oil.

Not known Details About orange face mask

Many of us throw out orange peels the moment they’re done feeding on or juicing an orange. But did you know that orange peels can be a powerhouse of nutrients and antioxidants? The orange peels also have a increased vitamin C material when compared to the fleshy inside of! to finish the stash of egg whites I have. When you are searching for a recipe to make use of up your egg whites, look no additional! This recipe takes advantage of four egg whites and It truly is so easy to generate! I have experimented a bit Use moisturizer or lotion although your skin remains damp. Use facial moisturizers and creams on your face, and lotions or entire body butter on One's body. Change the sort of moisturizer or lotion you utilize depending upon the period. Stay clear of paying an excessive amount of time during the sun, and constantly don sunscreen once you do. Pick sunscreen with at least 15 SPF. You ought to use it every single day, even throughout the darker, colder Wintertime months. This mask may possibly seem to some degree Bizarre on This page designed for organic items, but using Aspirin – Honey Mask for dealing with acne is usually a highly effective and easy Option. No HTML is authorized in feedback, but URLs is going to be hyperlinked. Remarks are not for promoting your articles or other web pages. For additional honey ideas, test honey and cinnamon for brighter skin or honey with cocoa and product to exfoliate. Dermatologists like baking soda as it’s the two anti-inflammatory and antibacterial. Mix it with exfoliating lemon juice and comforting honey and you have a gentle but successful mask to aid reduce acne. As you could see, applying an orange peel face mask has several rewards that work for different skin forms. No matter what you may need it for, orange peel powder is without a doubt a blessing. A caution when making use of lemon juice: Lemon might also make the skin photosensitive. Rinse your face completely and use sunscreen in the event you’ll be out in the sun before long afterward. This information is accurate and correct to the ideal from the author’s information and is not meant to substitute for official and individualized guidance from a professional Experienced. Will not decide on your pimples. You may make the inflammation worse and you've got a method bigger possibility of obtaining a scar even right after it goes away. There are a selection of good solutions for obtaining rid of pimples on this page on wikiHow. Any time you set the egg white on, lay a single layer of separated tissue paper above your face. Then use a lot more egg above that, after which peel it off. Meditate. That is an historic observe which has been all around for hundreds of years—and once and for all rationale! Many of us see that it can help them clear their minds and unwind.

5 Simple Statements About orange face mask Explained

Apply a moisturizer for your skin. Seal from the moisturizing consequences of the scrub with your favorite moisturizer. You should definitely Obtain your hair away out of your face in advance of applying this mask. Put on a headband or plastic shower cap to prevent the mixture from occurring your hair. Have you ever tried using a variation of the honey mask? What are your preferred foods-based mostly components to work with in your skin? Remark below! Conditions & Conditions The photographs depict actual product or service while shade from the image and product or service might a little bit differ. You positive can! Coconut oil is a fantastic splendor oil and yow will discover extra face masks with coconut oil in this article: Tired and out? Spare by yourself a time for Yogurt and Banana face mask to replenish your skin and temper. It energizes the spirit, clams the inflammation, and relaxes the skin. That’s as the career of cinnamon is to scrub your skin from underneath, it brings out all of the microbes and also your skin will get way more acne originally because it is having rid of almost everything beneath but after that your skin will look great–it works just like Proactive, it cleans almost everything beneath advert maintains that cleanliness [25] To apply the sugar scrubs use either your fingers, a cleanse washcloth or thoroughly clean exfoliating gloves.[26] Normally your arms are going to be your best guess as they are by far the most Mild option. This is certainly used to gather info on traffic to posts and other web pages on our web-site. Until you will be signed in to the HubPages account, all Individually identifiable details is anonymized. [30] Some experts advocate averting lemon juice all together, as they are acidic and may irritate skin by disrupting the skin’s purely natural pH harmony. Safer alternatives involve pineapple or papaya blended with basic unsweetened yogurt.[31] Some specialists warn in opposition to using sugar to exfoliate skin, mainly because it can result in compact tears with your skin, producing your skin rough, dry, and flakey in the long run.[32] Other specialists recommend against sugar and assert that it basically hastens ageing by binding to proteins like collagen.[33] You should buy microdermabrasion kits. See an inventory of the greatest facial scrubs and microdermabrasion kits. When you've got drinking water, which you with any luck , do have at hand, use that for making your facial a little bit more watery if needed. You could continue using your facial If you prefer. Go over your overall face, but stay away from your lips and eyes. Don’t make use of a washcloth to rub the sugar into your skin, as this will likely be also harsh of the exfoliant and should irritate your skin. Retinoids (for instance Retin-A or the greater moisturizing Renova) also function by eradicating the top layer of dead skin cells when also creating collagen within the skin. "Collagen is definitely the skin's structural fiber," dermatologist Dennis Gross explained in O Magazine

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The citric acid within the orange peel also exfoliates and brightens up your skin. Here are a few orange peel face masks that you could make at home for the radiant search. Clean your face with a mild cleanser. Executing this will take out any Grime and buildup prior to deciding to exfoliate. Be sure to pat your face dry Carefully that has a clean up, dry washcloth just before implementing the sugar-baking soda combination. Wash your face with a delicate cleanser. If you have been to work with a scrub face clean it could irritate your skin. Orange peel has all-natural bleaching Homes which assists lighten places. Honey has effective antiseptic, antibacterial and moisturising Attributes which hydrate and nourish the skin. It's also possible to check out these property therapies to get rid of blemishes. Turmeric is a standard ingredient in Southeast Asian beauty solutions. It truly is beloved for its skin lightening talents. Just be careful, the orange can stain quite light skin. that goes properly with ice product and nearly another kind of dessert sauces or toppings.I had to go searching for some time to search out the proper sort of sugar to make use of on the very best to ensure it would not dissolve Observe The easy fifteen min stay pack time with this mask and pat dry using a clear towel. It will eventually depart your skin experience attractive and easy. Spoon the mixture into your storage container and store. Be sure you near the lid tightly. You may retail outlet the combination within your fridge for approximately 2 weeks. Goaltender mask, a mask worn by an ice or discipline hockey goaltender to protect the head and face from damage Strategy: Combine them all in a bowl and apply a thick coat on your own face. Allow it perform its magic for quarter-hour right until it dries out. Then rinse with drinking water and dry your face by using a towel. Implement a moisturiser instantly to prevent dry skin. How often you exfoliate will rely upon your skin type, age, and weather. Typically twice weekly is ample. For those who have oily skin you are able to do it far more normally; when you’re older and/or have dryer skin, 2 times weekly can be too much.[29] Only use facial masks made up of lemon juice at night. Lemon juice is phototoxic and might raise your hazard of sunburn or simply chemical burns for those who go out in daylight with any residual lemon juice in your skin. Splash your face with chilly water. Use the coldest water you'll be able to handle, as this may assist near your pores and lock in the many benefits of the mask. Afterward, gently pat your face dry which has a thoroughly clean, dry washcloth. Mash up the banana, then combine within the honey. For very best success, place the components inside a blender. Increase the juice of the lemon or orange. Apply to face for quarter-hour in advance of rinsing having a amazing washcloth or a steaming heat washcloth. Abide by using your regular moisturizer. The masks are often very exaggerated and formalised, and share an aesthetic with the carved images of monstrous heads that dominate the facades of Hindu and Buddhist temples. These faces or Kirtimukhas, 'Visages of Glory', are intended to ward off evil and therefore are associated with the animal planet as well as the divine.

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Four Pros Share How to Master Dancing on Camera

Dancing on camera has always been a part of the industry: Music videos, commercials and televised dance competitions are nothing new. But this year, dance on video has taken off—and along with it, new demands on dancers.

Dance Spirit spoke with Sophie Pittman, former contestant on "So You Think You Can Dance," Fiona Claire Huber, background dancer on "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," Oliver Halkowich, first soloist with Houston Ballet, and Kaycee Rice, former contestant on "World of Dance," for behind-the-scenes input on what it's like to perform in front of a lens.

Transitioning From Crowds to Cameras

Halkowich has danced his entire career at Houston Ballet in a theater that seats 2,300 people. But when onstage for the company's film series, In Good Company, this number dwindled drastically. "There was no hum of an excited audience past the curtain," Halkowich says, "just four people in masks and a camera."

"There's a big difference between dancing to one audience member—the camera lens—and dancing to an entire audience of people," Pittman says. It affects how you move, emote and connect.

On camera, move bigger than you think. "The camera takes away about 15 to 20 percent of the energy that you give," Pittman explains. "You have to dance even more full-out."

But be conscientious of how your movement matches your role. "With background work, like 'The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,' I never want to be too sharp, too distracting," Huber explains. "Whereas with a music video, my movement can be sharper and more dynamic."

Shooting Take After Take

On set for "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," Huber danced a 10-hour day…to shoot a two-minute scene. While you may have multiple tries to get it right and smaller chunks of movement to dance each take, stopping and starting can wear you down.

"You have to be vocal," Pittman says. Don't be afraid to let the choreographer (or the director, if the choreographer isn't present) know that you need a minute between takes to grab some water or catch your breath. "Come prepared and know how to pace yourself," Pittman adds.

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A post shared by Fiona Claire Huber (@fionasfun)

Staying Consistent

In every take, be mindful of what you're doing. "Consistency in spacing, in timing, even in how your costume lies is more important in film than in a live performance," Halkowich says. While filming for Houston Ballet's In Good Company, ballet master Amy Fote took notes on a whiteboard. "It was important to keep track of spacing and camera movement so things would line up in editing," Halkowich explains. "On the first day of filming I wore a jacket that we realized at the end of the shoot had torn. I came in the next day to refilm everything without the jacket."

Live performance is about the big picture. "There's more room for choices," Huber says. "Whereas on camera, it's about the details. Every time you do the scene, it has to be the exact same for continuity."

But don't let the lull of repetition dull your moves or affect your attitude. "Make it feel like the first time you're dancing each and every time," Rice says. If you have a bad take, shake it off. The camera catches variations in your approach that an audience member may not.

"A camera picks up authenticity at a faster rate," Halkowich says. "If you are feeling free and having fun, the camera recognizes that. If you are feeling anxious and uptight, the camera also understands that."

Locking on the Lens

A lens captures a more personal view than an audience member can see alone. "There was something more intimate about dancing for a camera, as if I was dancing for a single person," Halkowich says.

Use this close relation to the camera as a way to connect—with the audience and with yourself.

When Rice looks into the lens, she imagines looking into someone's eyes. "I'm talking to them directly, and my movement is conveying what I would say to them," Rice says. Relate that imagined person to the intention behind the piece. "Say the song's about love," Pittman suggests, "then the camera has to be my boyfriend."

"Another thing is connecting with myself," Rice says. "Because when the camera is so close, I want to make sure that I am in touch with how I'm feeling and what I want to come across."

Having this awareness is a sign of star quality. "When I watch a dancer on camera and they can make me feel something through the lens," Pittman says, "I know that they are a star."

Be wary that this dancer–camera connection depends on the job. Sometimes a choreographer or director may want you to look past the camera, ignoring it's there. While filming for "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel," for instance, Huber did not look directly into the camera, knowing her character was dancing as if in the middle of a 1960s party. "I think it's kind of like breaking the fourth wall," Huber says, referencing the imaginary boundary between a performer and the audience.

Pittman says it's always a good idea to ask the choreographer where to look before shooting.

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A post shared by Kaycee Rice (@kayceericeofficial)

Conquering the Camera

Dancing for film is a way to immortalize a performance, reach audiences beyond a theater's capacity and inspire others. But being in front of the camera can be intimidating, bringing new emotions, pressure and stressors to the prospect of performing.

"A lot of the last year working on film, I felt the most awkward I ever have about my dancing," Halkowich admits. "I would do the eight-counts and hear 'Cut,' and look at four people watching playback on a monitor and wonder, 'Did I do it right? Was I any good?'"

Rice, too, admits to the added pressure on camera, from how she moves to what she's wearing. "In this day and age of social media, too, it's scary because people judge," Rice says. But what she reminds herself and warns others: The worst thing dancers can do on camera is get in their heads.

"Be secure in yourself and who you are as an artist," Pittman urges. "You can't compare yourself to others or let what people say about your dancing impact you. Know your worth. Know your value."

This includes embracing your mistakes rather than fixating on them—an oftentimes easy thing to do when caught on camera. "Imperfections are what make us all human and interesting and different from one another," Halkowich says. "In movies, the flawed character is always more interesting to watch than the perfect one. The camera eats that up. Striving for perfection is a necessary part of a dancer's life, but remember, the audience wants to watch a human being."

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