#immortal philza

[genevawren38]

I'm watching back Phil getting pranked and just...this mans [corvid?].

The lightning quick attack with his sword before it could explode, slaying it within seconds of being thrown into the situation.

The fact he then gets the loot and is like "oooo I got something cool out of it"

Fixes his inventory.

Complains about being now stuck underground instead of the trap someone[s] set.

Proceeds to dig upwards.

Finds a cave, goes exploring entirely unbothered and singing Radioactive by Imagine Dragons after he starts glowing green.

He's got that main character energy.

#qsmp #wrenrambles #qsmp philza #hes flourishing #entirely unbothered #philza 1 fobo 0 #town of fobo #fobo #hes just the king of being unaffected and quick about defending his life #its why he rarely if ever dies #qsmp text post #main character energy #its the immortal in him im sure #immortal philza

[wolfsbane54]

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza, Technoblade & Technoblade's Chat (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson | Philza & Phil Watson | Philza's Chat, Technoblade & Phil Watson | Philza's Chat, Technoblade's Chat & Phil Watson | Philza's Chat, Technoblade's Chat & Phil Watson | Philza Characters: Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade's Chat (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson | Philza, Phil Watson | Philza's Chat Additional Tags: Fluff, Adventure, Fluff and Crack, Phil Watson's Chat is Made of Crows (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade's Chat are Technoblade's Voices (Video Blogging RPF), Potions Accident, Technoblade Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), Mischief, the voices - character - Freeform, Angel of Death Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Blood God Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Immortal Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Immortal Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), crows - character - Freeform, Crows, Magic, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avian Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Manifestation, emerald duo, Chaos, Murder, Whump, mostly on the crows and voices part, Original Non-Human Character(s) - Freeform, Fantasy, Feral Behavior, maybe a little gore too, Pictures, Existential Crisis Summary:

Technoblade and the voices have always been together. None of the Voices could remember a time when they were not with Techno. Always with him on his ventures and battles. Through the good and the bad times. They were even there when he met the famous adventurer, known as the Angel of Death, who was known as the mate of the Goddess Death herself, followed by crows. They were there as a close friendship was struck and bonds grew. Surprisingly, while only Techno was the only one to ever hear the Voices, the crows of the Angel could as well. The Voices and the Crows became close, which sometimes meant Techno now had a flock of crows following him along too.

(Or Phil's Crows and Techno's Voices get into some mischeif that run Phil and Techno on an adventure they never thought they would ever have.) (I don't know how to summariese this one. I've had it on my computer for a while now.)

#ao3 #archive of our own #technoblade #phil #philza minecraft #fanfic #blood for the blood god #phil's chat are crows #technoblades chat #avian phil #dsmp #qsmp #fantasy #technoblade fanfic #philza fanfic #emerald duo #technoblade and phil #crows #immortal philza #immortal technoblade

[hopepetal]

“Most angels fall for their sins; he falls for Death.”

I’m a little nervous posting this, because it’s not my normal type of content and everything, but I worked really hard on it and wanted more people to see it.

#zera writes #fanfiction #ao3 #ao3 link #dsmp fanfic #philza minecraft #miss trixtin #technoblade #platonic soulmates #completed fanfic #immortal philza #immortal technoblade #angel of death philza #phistin

[emotionalsupportjedi]

I've Seen Your Face Around Here (Arcane AU)

Piltover, the City of Progress, is a shining place, everything shines from enforcers' armor to the buildings that compose the town.

Wilbur Soot enjoys how it seems to shine on his lab, as his work begins for the day. He stares at his chalkboard and notes, designs slowly coming together for the betterment of Piltover. The betterment of the people of his shining town. Him and Techno have been bouncing ideas off of eachother for days, drawing designs and studying how the crystals work. How they can mix the unknown of the arcane with the logic of science.

Wilbur lets his mind wander for a second, thinking about how this started. How he went from being expelled from the academy; to teaming up with Techno, Philza's assistant; to impressing councilman Quackity. He was finally progressing, all of his technically illegal research was finally paying off. He thought about Techno, who never stops working. His partner was a textbook workaholic who always had ideas of new hextech opportunities on his mind. Wilbur thinks he'd be utterly fucked without him.

As the day passes, Wilbur looks outside to his shining city, daydreaming about how their technology can make it shine more. He imagines the designs of the hexgates, gleaming with the blue glow the crystals give it. He remembers the feeling of floating, that night that he and Techno got the crystals to stabilise and showed Philza and Quackity they could be used safely.

Wilbur snaps out of it as Techno celebrates, a smile on his face. They figured it out, how to get the crystals to react as they wanted. As they watched the crystal in awe, Wilbur thinks again about his city. This crystal, this success, will benefit his city. He looks over at Techno, a proud grin across his face. The look Wilbur gets back confirms that his partner also realises that they are the dawn of a new scientific day.

As the days bleed into months, hextech keeps progressing. Wilbur can tell by how Quackity stops in more frequently to urge him and Techno to keep progressing. Until the day before a city wide holiday, Progress Day was a celebration of Piltover and what ideals it stands upon. Techno and Wilbur have been celebrated since the hexgates, and the citizens of Piltover were eagerly to see what else could be made.

Included in these citizens was Philza. The very same Philza who was currently knocking on the door. Techno and Wilbur glance at eachother before Wilbur goes to open the door for the councilman.

"Welcome Philza, to the future!" Wilbur had a smile, a theatrical swish of his hands to punctuate the words. As the presentation went on, Techno and Wilbur showed off the hexcore, their newest invention and the power to the other trinkets they have made. The innovations to power Piltover, to empower and better the lives of its citizens.

And to their credit, Philza looks intruiged and gives his praise when their show and tell ends. After telling them both how impressed he was with their research, Philza caught them off guard.

"Give it a decade of careful research, and it will be ready!"

Wilbur and Techno looked at eachother, confused. "What?"

Tags list

@pebblebrainlovejoy

#arcane au #im very into arcane rn oops #arcane #dsmp #immortal philza #wilbur soot #technoblade #wilbur soot is jayce from arcane #wilbur soot oneshot #please enjoy this i dont know what im doing

[royalarchivist]

Phil: I'm just- I'm just living my life on my little like, beach house, Bad! Why are they picking fights with an old man just sitting at his fckin'– his fisherman's house, man!

Bad: I don't know! [Laughs] I don't know!

Phil: I'm just like- I'm in retirement!

Bad: They're just- they're just out for blood– maybe you're right! Maybe they are just bored.

Phil: I'm retired! I'm literally retired, on my beach house and they're picking fights.

Bad: I know, it's crazy, it's crazy. But it's awesome too, think about it– a war! A war, Philza!

Phil: [Sighs] I'm so tired of those, I've seen too many of them, dude. So many.

Bad: [Laughs] Nah, I feel ya. I feel ya. Have you met Mr. Reaper yet?

Phil: [Overlapping with Bad's question] Anyway, how- how are you, by the way? I heard you died.

Bad: Mm, yeah, no I did. Um...

Phil: How was that?

Bad: Fun.

Phil: Yeah?

Bad: It was... an experience. I mean, it's not the first time, but... you know how it goes.

Phil: I do, yeah. I do.

#Philza #QSMP #Phil #Badboyhalo #BBH #Bad #March 13 2024 #Two immortals discussing war and death... #I don't have a clip for it on-hand but Phil recently seemed to imply that q!Phil HAS died before #and that might be how he met Kristin (Goddess of Death)

[mailb0xbunii]

i love these birds they're so similar but also nothing alike

#buniidoodles #philza #qphil being immortal but he just . Doesn't Know Yet is also a fun idea :-)))))))

[valcaine]

tfw you just killed your son and find your friend who you haven’t seen in several years (decades) committing terrorism

#I thought it would be funny to make technos dialogue the only one that’s censored #they got mcpuffys after so phil could get caught up on what happened #if. mcpuffys was established at this time #if not then a regular mcdonal #I don’t know what this is either I forgot why i drew this in the first place #technoblade #philza #technoblade fanart #philza fanart #philza minecraft fanart #technofanart #dsmp techno #dsmp philza #dream smp #november 16th #it’s literally just a very late november 16th joke #shitpost #digital art #what the fuck #I am a believer in the fact that these dudes are immortal #hence the caption #art more like fart

[bubvy]

My first 7 days of Technotober

#technotober #technofanart #tommyinnit fanart #philza fanart #sleepy bois fanart #bedrock bros #emerald duo #philza and mumza #mumza fanart #immortal trio

[space-bugcat]

Oh the contract and similar between Q!Phil and Q!Bad make me go fuking CRAZYYYYY. Oh, how cc!Phil and cc!Bad nailed so perfectly in describing what an immortal would look like.

Both are immortal species who live through thousands and thousands of years, fought in hundred battles, watched kingdoms rise and fall. Two of the most experienced members on the island are the most hypocritical.

They are so full of themselves. They always think what they are doing is right, is the only way, are for the best outcome cuz they lived through it all. And the way they justify their actions, even come out of their way to make people think they are right is just GHHDGSHSHJSJ!!!! (I love them so much)

Most of the time they are right. They DID see it happen lots of times, their actions always have a good motive behind them. BUT AGAIN they believed their actions were so right they did not talk to others about it even to the ones they love and care for, they just did it.

Oh, how the higher beings are so blinded by their knowledge they refuse to see what they did is not all the times good, not every thing easy to justify.

#An Angel who is a servant of Death sails between skies with twilight wings and a Reaper Demon who roams every realm with a halo. #They truly Ying and Yang. So similar yet so different. #I not got in the difference yet #got school works to do #maybe later if i have times #They are so fascinating i can write an 30 pages essay about them #Immortals are so fuck up/pos #Coworkers duo #qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp purgatory #q!philza #q!badboyhalo #Sp ramblings

[tsukana]

phil: "bad's no slouch. he knows how to PVP, he just...plays silly sometimes."

#qsmp #qsmp lb #q philza #q bbh #loveeeee them. the respecc the knowing. every day i hold the immortals hcs closer to my chest

[cosmic-d1ce]

Mortality

#raven skull on the banner in the back #amaranth and oriental lilies symbolising immortality on the window #hardcore heart obviously #religious setting #Purple and gold are royalty colours #green and brown are much more common #symbolism 🎉 #philza #philza fanart #ph1lza #philza minecraft #philza hardcore #qsmp philza #dsmp philza #fanart

[genevawren38]

I could headcanon this though.

Cause in lore a robot [Created body & transferred consciousness?] and an immortal totem decide a nuclear creeper that has a gigantic explosion is the perfect prank for the old crow whose a hermit but also surrounded by people.

The crow then blames the demon who is known for arguing with the shark totem no matter the era because they exist to spite each other affectionately and with sharp objects.

These immortal motherfuckers and their idea of a prank is twisted lmao

#qsmp #wrenrambles #qsmp tubbo #qsmp foolish #qsmp philza #qsmp badboyhalo #these damn immortals and their idea of fun #wrensheadcanons #qsmp lore #landduo #foolhalo #undying duo #hardcore duo #soulhunters #coworkers

[rakkuntoast]

i love how the bad and phil interactions we've had thanks to qsmp are just them basically being silly and sillier, you cannot look at me in the eye and tell me both of them either have all the braincells on the server or barely one when they are together

#qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp bbh #qsmp made me appreciate this duo a lot. they are just two immortals goofing off and i think its funny #they barely interacted in dsmp. seeing them together here is so much fun i love them just being silly and bicker like aunts #the bit of bad leading phil to cellbit's secret room LMAO they didnt even try to hide it and i love it

[lookinghalfacorpse]

/dsmp /rp tw for mentions of violence, death, war, medical details

the various skills of philza minecraft and where he learned them.  a collection of the half-lost memories of an immortal.

basic medical procedures.  he was around 350 years old when he stumbled to the doorstep of a village doctor.  a polite, patient woman who wore shawls and long dresses.  she wrapped his wounds, gave him tea, and they hit off well enough that philza spent the next 5 years with her.  he watched her operate on soldiers, on children, on mothers and fathers.  he learned how to amputate a limb after a pre-teen boy crushed his hand during a cave exploration, and while he lay half-conscious and drunk on pain pills, his remaining hand grasped philza’s sleeve.  “how do you keep from falling in love?” he asks the doctor.  “i don’t,” she replies, “i just let it happen.”

(her home is targeted by a clever army.  if you take down the doctor, you eliminate the chance of recovery.  philza uses what he learned to try to save her-- tourniquets, cpr-- but it isn’t enough.)

herbal mixes.  he spent around 80 years with a commune deep in the mountains-- a collection of folks who needed a home and found it within one another.  they built beautiful structures and gardens where they grew herbs to mix into teas and pipes.  he outlives all of them and their children.

carpentry.  his foggiest, most distant memories take place on a farm.  he’s a clumsy young boy following his father around, holding candles for him while he worked, learning about different woodworking terms.  years and years have passed, and he can no longer remember his father’s face or name, but he’s kept many of the lessons.

flying.  everyone has to start somewhere.  phil trained with an old elytrian-- a man who has taught many, many children over his years.  when phil first approached, the man thought he was another hunter seeking to slice his wings from his back and sell them, as humans often did, but philza showed him how his wings were attached to his back and explained that they were a gift from death herself.  the elytrian’s training methods were harsh.  birds drop their children from the nest to teach them, and similarly, philza found himself tossed into the void with no option but to save himself.  his lack of other bird-like features made things interesting.  With no tail to steer or talons to grasp a perch, the old mentor had to adjust his ways when he worked with phil.  they stayed together for 20 years before the elytrian left him, as he did with all his children before.

handling panic attacks.  after a village is burned to the ground, the survivors ran away together and tried to restart.  philza joined them for a while.  many of the villagers break down into tears and tremors, barely breathing between sobs, and phil watches a young mother help them.  she coos, she traces fingertips along their skin, she whispers compliments and affirmations and confident declarations that they’ll be safe.  an earthquake destroys their efforts, and as a little boy suffocates under the ruins of his new home, philza talks to him.  coos.  traces fingertips along his skin.  whispers to him, with confidence, that he will be okay.

playing guitar.  he travels, briefly, with a warden hybrid.  being born in darkness and sculk, the hybrid has an easier time navigating cave systems than the airborne philza, so phil elects his help when he makes a journey underground.  the man is blind, and he uses music as a way to pass the time.  phil can only play basic chords, but it’s enough to help him teach his son later on.  philza doesn’t realize the man has died until he visits his home many years later to ask for his aide again, only to find the structure long abandoned.

braiding hair.  a talkative young woman at a market stall offered to teach him, insistent that he’d look lovely if he tied his long hair back.  he only wanted to buy some wool off of her, but he left with a new skill, a blush on his face from all the compliments she gave, and a discount on the wool.

(he tells kristin later, and she laughs and laughs and laughs)

leatherworking.  he pays a woman very handsomely to teach him.  she has strong, muscular arms and eyes that tear through him, and she isn’t patient with his mistakes.  her voice, heavily accented and deep, is frightening when she raises it, but philza enjoys her company regardless.  he’s been spending many years alone, and her commanding presence is a stark contrast to the silence he’s been enduring.  he likes finding ways to make her laugh.  when he returns later, hoping to ask her about a saddle he’s struggling with, he finds the shop flooded and destroyed, no owner in sight.

there’s a nerve in the spine that, if sliced, can turn the strongest of men into drooling vegetables.  philza cut it once, reducing a bloodthirsty warlord to a mindless lump of flesh within a heartbeat.  phil doesn’t talk about it, but he was 22 years old at the time, and although thousands of years have passed he still remembers the emptiness in that warlord’s eyes.  he scared himself.  he felt more aware of the consequences of brutality, of the frailty of the human body, of what vengeance can lead to.

(who could ever deserve this?  for all that he’s done, is this justice?)

archery.  escaping the violence (and the demands for his head), philza spends some time in the nether.  befriending the piglins comes easily, and they don’t really care about his past.  they do, however, care very much about how small he is.  his bones snap easily, a shove from one of their shields can toss him across a field.  they insist that he learns more long-distance techniques, and he undertakes archery.  he masters it, and he lies in wait until the overworld forgets him.

horseback riding.  he learned this from technoblade.  having lost his ability to fly, he needed new ways to travel quickly, and horses were a good option.  sitting atop a horse felt like a defeat, like a loss, like a demotion from the angel of death that he’s been for centuries, but techno taught him with a smile.

playing patty-cake.  he’s walking through a distant village when a boy, no older than 5 years old, takes a fistful of phil’s feathers.  the child is wandering alone, and when phil asks him where his parents are, he answers with questions of his own.  why do you have wings, mister?  why are you wearing a hat?  phil takes him by the hand and leads him to the side of the road, away from the horses and travelers.  the boy doesn’t seem frightened, which could be a good sign, and phil sticks around in hopes that his parents will show.  he pretends not to know how to play patty-cake as the boy teaches him.  he messes it up in exaggerated, humorous ways (smacking himself in the face, using a foot instead of a hand) to make him laugh.  when his mother returns to retrieve him, her face a deep red, he tells her that she has a most lovely son.

(philza would say that patty-cake is one of his most important skills.  and blowing raspberries on a baby’s stomach, and planting rapid-fire kisses on a toddler’s cheek until she squeals and blushes.  how do you keep from falling in love?)

#:') #drabbles #cphilza #c!philza #i'll make a mastertag for stuff about phil's past #dsmp #dreamsmp #dream smp #cphil #c!phil #immortal

[factorialsotherfandoms]

Other weird stuff from Philza's interview with Fred - answering 'how long have you been on the island' with "idk time works differently for me". Which is a bizarre answer. I might have missed previous Philza lore, but... Not I forgot, not I'm not sure, 'time works differently for me'. It's not an 'idk' in the doesn't remember sense, its 'idk' in the there's something fundamental about him that time doesn't quite... work like a normal person with. And I'd guess the island doesn't have calendars to re-orientate yourself with.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp rambling #is it just a side effect of being immortal or close thereto? #perhaps #but just the idea that time and he aren't quite in synch #maybe the reason why he has set stream days is time moves faster for him IC so that really is only like one night for him lol #silly theory but perhaps #also his phrasing implies its not the birdhouse maybe-dream fucked with his sense of time but rather this is a pre-existing thing

[alienwritestoo]

Philza Minecraft is a wizard who accidentally became immortal after meditating too hard.

Missa Sinfonia is an engineering student who got turned into an vampire after going to his first (and only) frat party.

Decades later, they bump into each other at the bar Forever Anonymous.

------

"So you... don't want to be immortal?" Philza eyes his drinking partner.

"Hell no," Missa scoffs. "I have to get my engineering degree again." He puts his head in his hands. "I chose the wrong career for being a vampire, man."

"Oh thank god." The blond wizard relaxes. "I thought I was the only one who hates immortality, mate." He puts on his hat. "Say, I've been researching a way to reverse it. Want to join me?"

The dark haired vampire clasps his hand desperately. "Please!"

------

Years pass in their pursuit to reclaim their mortality. Missa makes himself helpful to the cause- "It's okay to take a break Philza, have some enchiladas so I can live vicariously through you!"- and fashions them in the mortal regalia of the decade as time slips through their fingers like quicksand. He keeps them to a schedule of new names, new jobs, and new towns so nothing inconvenient props up once they've figured out the cure.

They take a small detour for Philza to conquer Antarctica for a couple of decades, but it was well worth it for the penguins. And it helps that there's never much sunlight during the times of year they're there, and the vampire can't really feel cold. It becomes Missa's favorite vacation destination.

Returning to their home in not-Antarctica is less exciting for a vampire who can't be in the sunlight.

"Are we there yet?" Missa complains as he sits at their normal kitchen table, eying Philza's sandwich mournfully as it sits untouched and unappreciated.

"Not yet." Philza smashes golden applies into a blender hooked up to an absurd amount of redstone circuits behind the wall. His eyes glow purple as he waves his wand, mummering an incantation as the machine screeches impassively. "Maybe this will work?"

Missa drops his head and sighs. Being an immortal vampire can be very, very boring. Maybe he should visit the penguins and see his Great, Great, Great Grandchicks.

------

Philza sighs as he rolls into bed. He waits for ten minutes before slipping into Missa's room and pretending to be really, really cold.

"No problemo, Philza," Missa says as he opens his cold arms wide. "I'll warm you up." He teases with a quirk to his lips.

The wizard sinks gratefully into the cool skinned embrace of his vampiric companion. A couple of decades ago, his face would be turned carefully away in embarrassment while spending time internally combating a sexuality crisis, but the immortal has long realized that labels are bullshit and he can ask for a hug if he wants one, dammit.

"What's on your mind?" The cold-skinned vampire asks him, seeing right through his bullshit.

"Forever told me he's in love with me." Philza confesses softly as he lies prone in Missa's embrace. "But he's not actually, because I remind him of his old partner from when he was mortal. Same hair, eyes, taste in clothing-" His chest grows tense. "I saw the pictures. Which I know it's really sad that Forever's life partner was mortal and gone, but I hate that it means I'm being seen as an imitation of someone else instead of the person I am. And it's not like I reciprocate his feelings-" He glances up at Missa. "But I wish we were at least friends, you know?"

Missa huffs. "He's a pendejo, Philza. We should going to his terrible bar."

"We did meet there." Philza reminds him, both amused and pleased by his partner's defensiveness on his behalf.

"We'll go to other bars!" Missa counters irritably.

"There aren't any other immortal bars, Missa." Philza points out logically.

"Well, he has to pay somehow." Missa's grip tightens in anger with vampiric strength, before he remembers himself and loosens his hold. "I'm not letting him get away with treating you like a convenient replacement for a ghost. It's rude, man!"

"We'll think of something." Philza placates with a suppressed smile. "Let's sleep on it. Okay?"

Missa hurumps and settles down to meditate. "Only if we think of something better. Otherwise, you know I'll burn that place down, Philza."

They both drift into unconsciousness and wake later with revenge in mind.

------

The strange pair walks into the latest government's registration office right before close in winter. They complete an absurd of paperwork and giggle as they walk out.

A few weeks later, they receive marriage certifications in the mail and proudly display them above a picture of a sulking Forever.

When their friends ask why, Missa starts to theatrically sob and accuse them of not believing in true love. Philza, without an ounce of shame, always just laughs.

They both refuse to elaborate.

------

"Ta da!" Missa jazz hands as he slides into view. "I found us a son!"

Philza blinks as he stands in the foyer of their home, looking down at the dragon hatchling stabbing him in the leg with a wooden sword. "A what now?"

The child is wearing a duck floatie. They don't own a pool. He has never been more confused in his life.

Philza accepts he has a son minutes later after listening to a peacefully dull, ordinary tale that makes him relax about the decision his husband made. Something about an adoption center ran by polar bears, a "Federation" kidnapping them at some point, inconsequential stuff. They could absolutely raise this child with no worries whatsoever.

He corrects the child's form. "Now this is the way to stab someone, mate." The child chuffs happily and proceeds to stab him a bit better than last time. The immortal wizard looks up at his husband. "What's his name again?"

"Chayanne!" The vampire' grin drops at the murder in Philza's eyes.

"I thought I said that name is banned in this house!" Philza yelled, chasing him around the house with his son's wooden sword. "No cheating!"

"I'm sorry!" Missa wailed before getting thwacked. "Its a good name!"

The name inevitably sticks after the dragon hatchling refuses to answer to anything else. The immortal family of two swiftly, and spiritedly, becomes three.

------

"How did we meet again?" Missa asks his husband as they curl up around the fireplace.

"Oh that?" Philza hums considerably. "I think we were at Forever's bar and bonded over something we both really, really hated. Can't remember what it was, though."

Missa gasps. "Wait, I know!"

"What was it?"

"Engineering." The vampire says gravely.

"No wonder mate." Philza groans. "Not worth relearning how things actually work every decade."

"I know, right?" Missa says, sitting up as he becomes more passionate. "I'm so glad I switched careers to creating destruction wherever I go and reaping mortal souls by drinking all their blood like a mortal Capri sun."

"That really is so much better, king." Philza agrees. "I think Chayanne would be perfect at that when he's older."

"He's 200 years old, cariño." Missa reminded him. "Our little huevo chose to fight God with Uncle Etolies, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I remember now." Philza lies. "I heard on the news, after the Capri Sun ad, which, I don't know how that company lasted so long-

Missa suspiciously smirks. All the employees are his minions.

"-That the sun's going to collide with the earth in the next five years."

"Can it be sooner than that? I can barely remember Forever, and he's got a name that we have to say all the time." Missa groans. "Immortality, forever, whatever man!"

"Yeah our memory's fucked." Philza chuckles.

The married immortals stare into the fireplace and hope they haven't forgotten anything important. They go to bed to meditate the night away.

"Shit shit shit!"Missa slaps Philza out of his trance, who rolls over in protest. "Get up, old man!" A bucket of water dumps over his head. And then lava, which tickles. "We forgot Chayanne's birthday!"

------

End of fic

#qsmp fanfiction #qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp missa #death duo #qsmp pissa #forever owns a bar for immortal people #i imply capri suns have been around for hundreds of years #queerplatonic #romantic or platonic #choose your fighter #etolies has a career in fighting gods #probably ooc #*shrugs* oh well I had fun