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#implied ereri
celestialcreativity · 2 months
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Cow Fem!Levi 🐮
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sienne-k · 4 months
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how much should my longings fall like snow by Sienne
attack on titan | ereri | 2,8k chap 4/4 | fluff, winter vibes, canon compliant, set in s3
written for Ererimas event by Ereri Nation day 4, prompts used: [birthday], [knitting] and ["I've dreamt of this moment for so long but not like this."]
summary:
It is his birthday, and Levi is stuck in his office hard at work, no thanks to Eyebrows. At least Eren is there too, to keep him company... If only he would pay him any attention, that is. Levi might not be as patient and accepting of his lot as Eren, preferring to sulk petulantly, but he still gets his reward. And a double one, at that! Life's great for grumpy Captains, as long as there are Titan subordinates around.
full text under the cut. as long as yesterday, so might be better on ao3
Levi was sat behind his desk in his office, the usual mountain of paperwork divided into two smaller hills at each side. He was leaning forward between them, elbows on the desk while his chin rested on linked hands, completely ignoring his job in favor of observing his guest.
A guest who had invited himself in with a begging gaze that Levi had no reason to refuse, and who now occupied almost the entirety of his couch. He was fully immersed in whatever it was that he was doing, too, and paid barely any attention to the Captain. Even though it was his room he literally barged in. Albeit he did so politely.
“Everywhere else there are people distracting me, or Mikasa could walk in and see.” explained Eren without bothering to spare Levi even a stray look.
Brat, Levi thought half-irritated, half-fond.
Eren’s hands hadn’t stopped once in their movement, the swish-swoosh of the wooden sticks hypnotizing Levi into completely abandoning his work to focus on them. And on the long, slender fingers moving them with practiced deftness. The nails were trimmed neatly and there was not even a speck of dirt underneath. There were a few callouses from harsh training, but otherwise they were very nice fingers, attached to hands which were just as nice. Levi remembered that, as he held them tenderly in his just yesterday, the skin felt very smooth and warm, warmer than anyone else’s. That fit him just fine, as his own ran rather cold.
“Why is it such a big deal if she sees?” Levi continued the conversation, hoping to provoke Eren into paying him more attention.
“Because it’s a surprise gift! It’s tradition.”
There were no more words forthcoming, and Eren did not look at Levi, either. He pursed his lips, having half a mind to throw the boy out if he couldn’t even deign to indulge Levi in his own office, and on this particular day to boot.
But that would mean not having Eren there at all, to at least enjoy the sight of him relaxed on Levi’s couch. And it wasn’t like Eren knew it was his birthday.
Levi opened his mind to give it another try, but was interrupted before he even got to start.
“Um, I need to finish it today…” Eren bit his lip as his hands stopped and he (finally!) glanced at the Captain. He hesitated for a moment but then continued, “And I’m sorry if I’m bothering you, I know you said the Commander asked you to approve the new indoor training forms...”
Curse you, Erwin, Levi thought. For giving him more work on his birthday, but also in general, for being a pain in the ass. And curse you too, Eren.
It was a masterful maneuver. With one sentence, Eren implied for Levi to mind his own business and to stop being a nuisance so he could finish Mikasa’s gift in peace, while outwardly reminding him of the duty that he was supposed to be actually doing.
Levi was sure that on any other day, one that Eren wasn’t busy with his own thing, he would have bothered Levi regardless if there was any work request from Erwin; he would have simply pretended he was being helpful or that he didn’t realize it was important.
With a sigh, he capitulated and went back to his mountain of paperwork as Eren focused right back on his wooden sticks and colorful threads that were making a tangled mess on Levi’s couch.
Although he couldn’t help one last, bitter mumble. “And is there a gift for the Captain who tries his best to keep you alive and safe?”
“I thought you didn’t celebrate?” Eren replied innocently.
He was right, Levi didn’t. Thoroughly defeated, he took his pen in hand and once more focused on Erwin’s snobbishly elegant handwriting.
“I’m done!” Eren announced triumphantly, holding the finished scarf up in the air to properly admire it.
Levi put down his pen. “I’m done too, thank fuck.”
He put his hands up in the air similarly to Eren, but instead of admiring anything, he was only stretching his spine and shoulders. It had been hours and his back was killing him.
Levi looked at the scarf Eren had been toiling over for the whole day. He had to admit it looked rather pretty, all dark red like Mikasa’s current scarf, but with an elegant leafy pattern woven at the ends with thin silver and black threads.
“Didn’t expect you to be any good at sewing,” he commented, actually interested.
“Thank you,” Eren accepted his subtle praise, already a master at discerning what Levi wanted to convey.
“It’s actually knitting, not sewing. Mom would teach me whenever she wanted me to sit quiet and out of trouble,” he admitted sheepishly. His mouth twitched in a barely-there smile, eyes looking somewhere far away. “She thought it would keep me occupied for long enough to cool down from whatever angered me that time.”
Imagining a tiny Eren throwing around fists and shouting at whoever disagreed with him the way he still did with Jean… Yeah, Levi could guess easily why Mrs. Yeager might have wanted some peace and quiet. Even if the image was fucking cute… And Levi wasn’t in the business of using that word lightly.
“I’m sure Mikasa will be happy to receive it,” he replied awkwardly around the elephant in the house. He got up from his chair and reached for the finished paperwork.
“I just hope she will actually wear it and throw away that old, dingy thing,” Eren muttered. “It’s so threadbare and smelly even after washing…”
Levi pretended he didn’t hear that last part, though he couldn’t help the shudder that ran through his body. For such a well-kept girl, that old scarf truly was the only blemish on Mikasa’s perfect image. Thankfully Eren seemed to keep his clothes clean and tidy, quickly replacing what needed to be replaced. Even if he always got the same thing over and over.
Eren noticed Levi was away from his chair, collecting the papers he had slaved over for the last few hours.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you going somewhere?” He began hastily grabbing the messy, tangled threads still occupying most of Levi’s couch. Strangely, there were more colors than Eren had used for Mikasa’s scarf.
“Yeah, gotta give these to Erwin.” And then finally freedom for the rest of the day. Or, well, what was left of it.
“Oh,” Eren said awkwardly. “So you will be spending the day with the Commander…?” he trailed off.
He was clearly fishing for information, but Levi let him off with only a side look and a raised eyebrow, and answered truthfully without further prompting. “No, I will be going back to my quarters. I need some rest, not extra work. Or Hanji talking my ear off.”
“Oh,” Eren repeated, disappointed. “Then you won’t want to be disturbed?”
“Yes, Eren, I won’t want to be disturbed,” Levi said, exasperated. He thought he made it pretty clear…? Oh.
Levi cleared his throat, turning around and putting his back to Eren, and moved to the door. “But I won’t be too upset if just one shitty brat came for a chat.”
Eren instantly brightened, “Yessir!”
“Clear that shit up properly and lock the door behind you. You can give me the key back later.” With that announcement, Levi shut the door and hurried to Erwin’s office.
Perhaps his birthday was still salvageable.
He made quick time dropping off the paperwork at the Commander’s office, but once he arrived back in his quarters he had no idea what to do as he waited. No one had ever been inside, aside from Erwin coming to bother him about something he deemed important, or Hanji, who by now knew better and only came by to drag him out instead of inviting themselves in and chatting his ear off like they had done the first few times, before Levi had violently taught them better.
There was no last-minute cleaning to be done since he kept the room spotless, and there were no snacks in the kitchen he could set out to share with Eren. He did have a nice gyokuro stashed away for special occasions which this did constitute as, but would tea be enough? Eren was still young, and teenagers always wanted to eat. Would Eren expect to be treated to something? Well, even if he did, it wasn’t like Levi could just magic something into existence. Just tea it was, then.
A loud knock interrupted his frantic musing. He opened the door, instinctively looking up at the perfect angle to appreciate the excited shine of bright green eyes, accented nicely by blushing red cheeks. Or some kind of poetic shit like that.
“I hope I am not interrupting,” Eren said politely, hands folded behind his back.
Levi snorted. “No need to pretend I didn’t invite you.”
He crossed his arms and watched with hidden amusement as Eren replied, all the while trying not to look like he desperately wanted to sneak a peak of the inside of Levi’s private quarters.
“I did kind of invite myself…”
“Stop speaking like you’re Hanji and don’t understand what my boundaries are. Now get in.”
Perking up, Eren took a step forward, then froze. He smiled at Levi nervously, “After you, sir.”
That was suspicious, very suspicious. But it was Eren, so Levi figured there was nothing to fear, and anything he wanted to know he could pry from him once they were settled inside.
He heard the door close as he got comfortable on his couch, waiting for Eren to join him. But the boy only shuffled closer to the fireplace and kept standing there, shifting from foot to foot.
“Did you not clean your asshole properly or what?” Levi asked, suspicious. He had better not brought any uninvited worms with him…!
“What? No!!!” Eren refuted, thoroughly shocked. He shot Levi an offended and hurt look, like he couldn’t believe Levi would think of him so badly.
“What else am I supposed to think when you behave so squirrely?” Levi defended himself. “You keep squirming like your ass is itching.”
Eren coughed, face flushing a deep red. “I’m not… itching. Or at least, I haven’t got any worms,” he muttered petulantly.
“Oh, so you’re itching for something else?” Levi bit back a salacious grin, even as he couldn’t help himself from teasing further. If he didn’t like it, Eren could consider it a payback for ignoring him earlier.
Eren huffed and rolled his eyes, quickly getting back his cool. The deep red on his cheeks stayed, though. “I suppose you don’t want your gift, then. Sir.”
Levi straightened up from his slouch, sitting at attention. His eyes were sharp and focused, not moving an inch from Eren’s.
“I don’t observe the holidays, though?” he prompted, remembering their earlier conversation.
“It’s not a holiday gift.”
“Well,” Levi stood up and stepped closer when Eren made no further move. “Where is it then?”
“I don’t know, where you a good boy this year, Captain?” Eren snarked, clearly still offended at Levi’s earlier insinuation.
“Don’t push too hard, brat, or you won’t like what happens,” Levi warned in a low voice, standing close enough to Eren now that he could feel his breath. The teen’s eyes were glimmering brightly with determination and giddiness. Levi usually wasn’t one to share in excitation, but this time he couldn’t help the thrilling anticipation that welled inside him.
“Is that so,” Eren murmured, eyes lowering to Levi’s lips, glowing even brighter. “I suppose I have no choice but to relinquish my gift, then.”
“Quite so,” Levi informed him. But nothing more happened as they stood there, almost nose to nose.
Finally Levi could take the tension no more. “Should I close my eyes then, if princess is feeling too shy?”
Eren pursed his mouth, a movement which Levi tracked avidly with his eyes.“Yes, actually,” he said with more confidence than Levi expected from someone with cheeks as red as the mistletoe fruit.
Deciding he wanted his gift already, Levi closed his eyes obediently. Perhaps the present won’t be physical anyway, if one considered their current position…
And it seemed like he was right, because he could feel Eren lean closer, his breath and bangs tickling Levi’s face, closer and hotter and—
Something soft wrapped around his neck and shoulders and he quickly opened his eyes, not expecting the sensation. Clearly not yet ready for Levi’s gaze, Eren froze mid-motion, both arms hovering around Levi’s head, holding two ends of a… scarf?
“Um,” Eren said. And then nothing else came out of his mouth even as it moved open and close like a fish out of water.
“What,” Levi said.
And since he too could not come up with anything else, he regretfully took a step back from Eren, who let his arms fall at his sides. The distance was needed if Levi didn’t want to get any more distracted. And it helped him breathe more easily, too.
“Happy birthday?” Eren offered with a shy smile. “I know it’s not much… But I hope you like it.” He averted his eyes away from Levi.
Levi touched the scarf that was still only half-wrapped around his neck. It was very soft and smooth, knitted with thin yarn in a small, tight pattern. It was in a dark blue color with a grayish sort of tint to it, glimmering from the light from the fireplace like steel. It was clearly very carefully made, the various bumps and valleys all uniform in size, with short frills at the end giving the scarf a more stylish feel.
“Thank you,” Levi said quietly but sincerely, sliding his fingers along the scarf time and again.
It was very unexpected, both the gift and how much it affected him. But there was no hiding that he was touched, and a thoughtful present like this deserved an appropriate response in gratitude. So he stepped forward again and reached out one hand to grab Eren’s nape, pulling him down to his height.
Eren gasped lightly and shut his eyes tight as Levi’s face drew closer and closer to his. Levi aimed carefully and put his lips firmly on Eren’s smooth cheek. He stayed there for a long moment, much longer than Eren had dared that time under the mistletoe. He felt Eren breathe as it brushed over his own cheek, but finally released the teen’s neck from his grasp and took a slight step back.
He met Eren’s eyes. They were shining just as brightly as always, but Eren seemed frozen, not moving at all; not even to blink. Levi raised an eyebrow at him and it must have released him from whatever spell Eren had been under, as he chuckled quietly.
“I’ve dreamed of this moment for so long, but not like this.”
Levi was not surprised in the least. He had imagined this moment many times, as well. He was curious what Eren had imagined, though. “Like what, then?”
Eren closed that small step Levi had put between them, smiling impishly as he grabbed him delicately by the hips.
“Like that,” he said, then pulled Levi in and lowered his head, closing his eyes and placing his lips boldly on Levi’s.
Levi couldn’t help taking in a sharp breath, thoroughly surprised. He shouldn’t have been, though, since he had been baiting Eren for long enough. His eyes fell closed as he enjoyed the soft feel of Eren’s warm, inexperienced mouth on his, letting him do whatever he wanted. They had time for more advanced techniques that Levi would teach him later. He was looking forward to it, too; he already knew that Eren was a hard worker and very ambitious, and that it always yielded high results.
He threw his arms around Eren’s neck as Eren’s arms tightened fully around his waist, literally and figuratively closing any remaining distance between them.
When they were later on sitting on the couch in Levi’s private quarters, Eren said quietly, as if sharing a secret, “At first I actually thought of making you gloves, since your hands are always cold.”
“Oh? And how do you know my hands are always cold?”
“It’s because you keep hiding them in your pockets.” Eren grinned, silently admitting to watching Levi all the time.
Levi hummed. “Then why didn’t you?”
“Why didn’t I what,” he asked, eyeing Levi’s lips distractedly.
“Why didn’t you make me gloves,” Levi repeated without teasing for once, simply enjoying the embrace and being so visibly desired.
“Ah,” Eren laughed sheepishly. An embarrassed blush colored his cheeks lovingly. “I just thought there are better ways of warming them up.”
Levi raised an eyebrow, interested.
Eren ducked his head down, trying to escape Levi’s stare, but it proved fruitless, considering Levi was the shorter one. “I thought I could keep them warm with my hands whenever you wanted,” he finally admitted, his face so red Levi thought he might start steaming soon.
“Hoh? Not bad.”
He took Eren’s hands to pull him closer, closing the gap between their mouths to get thoroughly kissed again.
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ereri-fics · 2 years
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Slow burn ereri in a crime or drug lord AU. Just read Joyriding by Maroon5_Love so I wanted something similar.
Hello! Maybe this fic will be to your liking. It is part of a series so it will hold you for a while :)
Saving the Spade by SimplyTsundere
After a bad turn of events Eren Jaeger finds himself in a world of trouble. He's been the assistant to an information broker, breaking into to homes stealing personal information and assisting with selling it to whomever is paying for it. Unfortunately for him, the house he breaks into happens to belong to someone whose life was in the process of being cut short. Assassin group Soldiers of the Spade had sent the head of the organization to complete the hit, and Eren happened to witness the event. His boss tells him to forget about it, but he can't. Days later he gets a call, to meet his boss somewhere, however when he gets there the only thing he hears is "I'm sorry, Eren." before the lights come on and he is surrounded by the Soldiers of the Spade. What will happen to Eren's life when he's called in to help an assassin group after his boss is kidnapped? Will he fall for the ways of the slick Ace of Spades? Will he pay off his debt and be able to return to a normal life? How will his world change when he gets dragged into a world of assassins, escorts, charming men, and most of all, into the bed of the Ace himself?
Warnings: blood and violence, implied past child abuse, alcoholism, blood and torture,... Check out the writer's tags on AO3 to be sure!
Some other tags that immediately come to mind are the following. Maybe there are some more fics in there that you might like! Assassins tag and mafia au :)
B.
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sparkywrites25 · 2 years
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Attack on Titan Ships
Attack on Titan was not an anime/manga I expected to like because it seemed so military-based and I didn't think I'd be into all of that. (Despite also loving Fullmetal Alchemist which also has a heavy military presence). I actually only got into AoT because I watched some FMA cosplay skits and ended up seeing some of their AoT ones which got me intrigued.
Needless to say that some months later, I've watched the anime twice (Season 4 once, I'm not a huge fan of the Marley arc) and read the manga. I have never loved being so wrong about a fandom before.
In every fandom I've become interested in, I've always like a small number of the potential ships there but AoT surpassed them all because I can really get behind so many of them. Of course, like in so many fandoms there are ship wars and some toxicity but I'm simply putting forward my thoughts on these ships, not looking to start anything.
Levi x Petra
I adore this ship so much. Grumpy badass with warm and encouraging comrade/subordinate? Hell yes. There are so many aspects of this to love. The first of which is she, along with the others, being handpicked which demonstrates how capable she must be so that's a strike through the warrior matched with vulnerable defenceless sweetheart vibe (which btw I have nothing against, in smaller doses). I'm a sucker for colleagues turning romantic too. Something that another fan pointed out was that Levi seems to give Petra a number of tasks that take her out of immediate danger so....that did nothing to slow my shipper heart. Then, of course, there was the way he looked at her after... Annie. I'm so gutted with Petra's fate but the scenes afterwards just kept the ship sailing for me.
I really hate the negativity and opposition I've seen surrounding this ship. Mainly people arguing that she loved/was going to marry Oluo instead. I have nothing against that in itself. I won't claim to be an expert on what Isayama has or has not specified but the thing with ships is that them being "canon" or not doesn't actually make any outside that "canon" any less valid. Really, who is anyone hurting by shipping who they like? Absolutely no one. For the record I like Petra and Oluo playfulness, I just don't ship it.
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Levi x Hange
Levi and Hange are an absolute hoot together and that alone makes them a worthy ship in my eyes. Ships with a lot of sass and humour to them are gold dust. I love the fact that, despite Hange being a higher rank, Levi gives no fucks in telling it like it is as well as insulting them. Even though Levi's only been in the Scouts six years, I think the manga and anime did a good job at implying an interesting dynamic between the two. They might be so different personality-wise but by god, I love their interactions.
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Eren x Levi
This ship has grown on me. I resisted at first due to Eren's age at the start. Even with Levi's age being kinda undefined, he's still considered in his 30's when Eren's what, 15? That is some seriously sketchy stuff which is why, if I was going to write Ereri, Eren would need to be older. I have no objections to keeping Levi a lot older than him for the whole "older, more experienced officer" vibe, but come on, Eren needs to be at least 18 in my eyes. I am not trying to offend anyone for whom that issue isn't a concern for.
But going back to the ship, I really enjoy their interactions. (Holy shit that courtroom scene!) There are more than a few moments between them that I could happily pick out and enthuse about but then this post would never be finished.
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Eren x Mikasa
This one is interesting because I can totally see the ship's potential but I can also see the brother-sister angle and I feel that the manga/anime kinda danced more towards the family side with just enough hints to feed the potential for something more. Mikasa is a character I like in small doses and I enjoy her story but the overprotectiveness and tendency to dictate to Eren does cool me off from being too much of a fan of this ship. Equally there are times when Eren is kind of an ass to her so there are definitely elements of them where I think "Oh god maybe you two would be a bad idea". But, it's a ship I can get behind. 
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Mikasa x Jean
I would say I'm much more invested in the ship of Jean and Mikasa for sure. Jean was always interested in her and I found his attachment to her made wonderful viewing/reading. I also recently read a compelling article comparing the two ships and Jeankasa definitely seemed like it might be the healthier relationship of the two. But of course that's going off canon and fanfiction and introduce some scenarios which might develop things in a better way. But I digress. One of my favourite moments of Mikasa and Jean was how protective he got over her when that titan damaged her ribs. He just always seemed to care about her wellbeing. Ugh, I love him.
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Erwin x Levi
I like the idea of this pairing though my interest has come from fanart mainly although there were elements of their closeness in the anime and the manga that I loved. That scene in S3 when Levi tries to convince Erwin to stay behind - goddamn. The unusual history of these two men somehow turned into this really incredible loyalty and trust even though Levi disguises his side of things under sass. (This man has no qualms about backtalking superior officers and I am here for it!) It's a ship that gets me particularly emotional when I think about certain scenes that shall not be named. So, yeah I am definitely a fan of something more existing between them. I just feel so much wholesomeness coming from it.
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Hange x Erwin
I don't actually see a lot of this about but I would be tempted to maybe write it someday. I don't feel we got anywhere enough Hange and Erwin interaction but I get a sense that that would be a really fascinating relationship to explore and their past history too. They're a pair I'd love to read more about as both friends and lovers.
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Hange x Moblit
Oh darling Moblit! His and Hange's relationship was both endearing and hilarious. I adored his protectiveness over Hange (and if I've read correctly, Levi also asked him to watch out for her). This guy just cared so damn much and tbh they needed him to since Hange demonstrated a certain lack of regard for their own physical state on at least one occasion (crawling around on the Wall trying to go to Ragako village). So I am definitely ringing the bell to join that shipping fanclub.
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Erwin x Levi x Hange
I really don't see enough of this poly-ship (which means an expedition of my own in the jungle of tumblr is long overdue). I am absolutely smitten with the fanart I've seen so far. I can imagine these three spending a lot of time together outside of work and just entirely accepting and supporting each other's "bullshit" as Levi would probably call it.
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hamliet · 1 year
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Did you ever ship Eruri or Ereri? I don't primarily ship anyone in AOT especially with Levi since the romantic subtext isn't really present (its just my preferred style of shipping lol) but I remember an old friend talking about them. It was interesting to note the emotional energy I suppose
Depends on what you mean by ship, which I think was an ask you previously sent? This is an answer to which I will say my immediate assumption is that shipping=romantic, and I think that's what you're implying here as well.
If you take platonic into equation, absolutely: I really liked both relationships. Eren and Levi's relationship was actually one of my favorites. I'm a sucker for mentor-mentee platonic stories. Erwin and Levi's bond was something that also wrung Emotions out of me.
If you meant romantic, which is what I think you meant, no, I never personally shipped either romantically. I do think you can argue Erwin and Levi's relationship was special to them in a way their other relationships just weren't, but there's no distinct romantic coding or platonic coding (like for example, Levi calling Eren kid=mentor coding). So I think the exact nature of Eruri in canon can't be firmly argued one way or the other, because the absence of distinctly romantic subtext is not inherently, by default, platonic coding, and the absence of explicit platonic coding ("friend" or something) is not by default romantic coding.
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ackerbuttslut · 4 years
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it's humanity's bitch boy
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hikariix · 4 years
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I've been trying to nail the soft Levi look for a month and I think I'm getting closer
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rottenxesed · 4 years
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Eren 🍑✨
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illopii · 5 years
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Eren..don’t go where I can’t follow..
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lankylevi · 5 years
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Cosplayer: lavlien With permission to repost ✧
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nanamiart · 6 years
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pinkheichou · 5 years
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@foureyes48 THANKS FOR THE DRAWINGS/SAMPLES I MADE TWO BOOKMARKS *v*
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pandatowrites · 5 years
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Happy Birthday, Eren!! <3 I’m late, but it’s been a hot minute since I’ve drawn the last time, pwease forgive me
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punkheichou · 5 years
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Art by 雀食虫
Permission to repost was given by the artist. Please do not repost without permission. Please do not edit or remove the caption. If you can, please support the artist on their pixiv/twitter.
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chenziee · 6 years
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Incredible (part 3)
The last part for @jeankasa-events Jeankasa canon weekend.
POST CHAPTER 105 ANGST. IT'S SAD AND CONTAINS HEAVY SPOILERS.
[part 1 // part 2] [read on AO3]
The atmosphere in the airship’s inner room was tense. The silence was heavy, even though the motors were incredibly loud and making Mikasa’s head hurt. Officially, they were just waiting for Commander Hanji to emerge from the cockpit to have a quick run-down of their situation right now, but in reality, none of them knew what to say after Eren was sat down and shackled to the wall.
It hurt Mikasa seeing him like that. Seeing her brother so empty, so uncaring. Like he had gone somewhere far away and left behind only a shell of himself for his friends, a shell that didn’t care about anything but it’s purpose. Actually, ever since they have entered that goddamned basement all those years ago, it was like she was watching Eren slowly die. She hated it and hated that she couldn’t help him. None of them could, no matter how much they tried.
And now all of them suffered the results of their failure; this whole mess. Countless civilian victims of Eren’s rage, even children, a now-unavoidable war with the whole, wide world, and the Beast titan on board of their airship.
The Beast titan who was apparently also Eren’s older half-brother. Mikasa still couldn’t really wrap her head around that. What kind of twisted fate was it that both Grisha Jaeger’s sons ended up as titan shifters? Or maybe it was precisely because they were Grisha’s sons. Still, she didn’t trust the Beast. He might have left his followers for them and come up with this grand scheme but in Mikasa’s book, he was still the enemy.
He was still the enemy in all of their books except Eren’s, it seemed. Captain Levi had been glaring at Zeke Jaeger, who was still slowly recovering from being not-so-carefully cut out of his titan body, ever since Mikasa came up there with Eren.
The girl couldn’t even blame Levi for kicking Eren like he did. After what happened, it was more than deserved and Mikasa knew it even though she still felt protective of Eren. However, he did break their trust, destroyed their plans, killed people... and hurt them all beyond measure.
He hurt Armin, years ago when they had that fight, and even before then when they reached the ocean for the first time. He had hurt Hanji by not trusting her enough. He had hurt Jean and Connie and Sasha and Historia by running of, by refusing to talk and share his burdens.
He had hurt Mikasa herself. Incredibly so, by his every action and every blank look these past four years.
And he had hurt Levi. Mikasa didn’t know what their relationship had developed into, but Levi was obviously hurting by the change Eren had gone through just as much as the rest of them. Just as much as Mikasa.
Finally, a commotion from the cargo room that was louder than before broke the tense silence hanging between the six of them in the room, making the Captain question what was going on and starting a first awkward conversation. Just after the man made Jelena take off her fake beard, the door behind them opened revealing Jean with two young, bloodied kids. A girl and a boy, no older than 15. The girl was struggling against Jean’s hold while the boy only followed Jean’s lead. The young man’s face was serious, something Mikasa couldn’t place behind the clenched jaw and deep frown.
The occupants of the room stared at the newcomers in shock. How did anyone other than the Survey Corps manage to board the airship?
Then the beast spoke, addressing the kids as if he knew them, making the two look just as shocked as the rest of them were. The boy spoke first, incoherent questions leaving his lips, before the girl interrupted him, shouting questions, assuming they had kidnapped the Beast. Mikasa internally snorted. Oh how innocent and naive they were.
His scowl deepening, Levi turned to Jean, asking for explanation.
And Jean delivered, immediately making them all wish no one asked. “They killed Lobov and used his gear to get on board. And this one,” he nodded in the girl’s direction, “shot Sasha. And it looks like she might not make it.”
What?
Blood froze in Mikasa’s veins, her eyes going wide. Sasha? Shot?
Lies.
It was all lies.
Not looking back, she ran out with Armin in tow, heading straight to where Connie and two others were kneeling on the floor, moving frantically. Mikasa dropped to her knees next to them, taking in all the blood, the pale face, the empty eyes...
She screamed Sasha’s name, screamed at her to get it together, that she can’t just go like this, not when they were finally heading home, when there was a feast to be had. She screamed, wordlessly, shaking Sasha, trying to get her to look at her and smile and laugh and tell them it was all a silly prank they pulled with Connie.
Tears were streaming down her face but Mikasa paid no mind. She didn’t care her voice was getting hoarse either.
She just wanted Sasha to wake up, please please just let her wake up.
“..I’m sorry,” the old garrison soldier pressing bandages to Sasha’s side whispered, pity and pain dripping from his words.
“No!” Mikasa screamed again, her voice breaking as she shook Sasha harder. “No no no, it can’t be!”
A hand landed on her shoulder, making her jump. She stared wide eyed at Connie, who was looking right back at her, his expression a distorted neutral. It looked wrong. So so wrong and pained and broken even without the tears pouring down his face.
“She’s gone, Mikasa.”
And that was it.
Mikasa didn’t, couldn’t stay in the same room Sasha was in. And she couldn’t go back to the small meeting with Commander Hanji and Zeke Jaeger either. Eren was there and she couldn’t even think of looking at him right now.
This wasn’t how this was supposed to end. They were supposed to pick up Eren and Zeke and retreat, keeping casualties to minimum on both the enemy side and their own. They were supposed to return home together, all of them, after a successful mission. Even if they would be angry at Eren and detaining him, even if they killed a few enemy soldiers, it would still be a victory and a success.
Mikasa knew they had won. She knew civilian victims were unavoidable. She knew deaths on their side were probably unavoidable, as well. But this...
This shouldn’t have happened.
This wasn’t a victory. This wasn’t anything. It was just empty. It was pain. It was wrong.
In that moment, for the first time in her life, she hated Eren.
It was his fault.
Yet she couldn’t hate him completely. On a rational level, she knew it was not his fault. He wasn’t the one to pull the trigger. There was no guarantee that if they had waited for Hanji’s plan, things would have gone any better. Sasha might have still died. Connie might have died. Or herself or Eren or Armin or Jean.
Or all of them.
But it didn’t matter. Eren didn’t give them a choice and this was their reality now.
There was a soft knock on the door but Mikasa didn’t answer, only curled up into herself more, clutching at the pillow she was hugging to her chest.
Regardless of her silence, the door opened slowly after a moment and Jean walked inside. Mikasa didn’t look at him, just continued staring straight ahead blankly while Jean walked over and sat on the bed next to her, close enough for her to feel his presence but not close enough to touch.
The silence of the room prevailed for a while, heavy with the truth of the night, but not uncomfortable, until Jean spoke up. His voice was quiet, a bit hoarse and tired. “I thought you’d be here.”
The corner of Mikasa’s mouth twitched in a bitter and humourless smile. It should have been a surprise that she was in Jean and Connie’s room and not her own but... “Where else would I be? In my room, where she should be with me?”
Jean flinched at the broken words, regretting he said anything. “I’m sorry. You’re more than welcome to stay here with me.”
Mikasa shook her head. “Don’t apologize,” she whispered, face burying deeper into the pillow as she still refused to look at him. “You’re in pain, too.”
Jean didn’t have anything to say to that. So he only moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to pull her towards him, and Mikasa let him, falling gently to rest against his side. It was only a moment later when a small sob escaped her, making Jean’s hold tighten. She let go of Jean’s pillow then, turning around to bury her face in the crook of his neck instead.
And Jean could only hold her close, kissing and stroking her hair and back, murmuring words of comfort that would probably mean nothing to Mikasa. They wouldn’t mean anything to him, there was nothing anyone could say to make things better. To bring Sasha back.
Nothing.
But Mikasa was grateful. She was grateful Jean was there for her, willing to be the support she desperately needed even though he was obviously no better off than her.
She wanted to tell him it was okay to cry too, but she knew Jean was holding back for her, keeping himself together for as long as she needed, and she swore to herself to be the same kind of solid presence for him once he breaks.
But for now, she could only be thankful for how strong Jean was. How thoughtful and supportive and loving.
How incredible.
Jean was incredible in her eyes.
When she looked at him now, at his tall figure and stupid, grown out hair, she couldn’t help but laugh at how much he had changed since their trainee days. He had grown, grown more than any of them. He was the Squad Leader and acting Commander they needed and she was proud of him for what he had become, loved him for always putting others before himself. For putting her before himself.
He was the man she needed, now and always.
Stupid hair and soft ‘I love you’s and all.
[part 1 // part 2]
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Hi!! I’m trying to find a fic Erwin and Levi are escaped criminals and they pick up Eren who’s hitchhiking. In the end it turns out Eren is a serial killer too or a vigilante killer I can’t remember. :(((
Is this the fic you’re looking for?
Blood on Sand by Sleepless_Star
(Rated M, 3,904 words, oneshot, complete, Read tags on fic)
They've got the cash, they've got the car, they've got the guns, what else do they need?
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