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not-safeforsanders · 3 years

Text

Riptide

Chapter 12: Guillotine // I’ve got thoughts nobody needs

Ship: Receit

Warnings for this chapter: hospitals

Warnings for the whole fic: Drug use, sexual content, sex under the influence of alcohol, alcoholism, implied/referenced suicide attempts, sexual trauma, sex addiction, self-worthlessness.

Word Count: 3587

Plot: Remus is running from a history he doesn’t want to face, Janus is escaping a guilt that he doesn’t have to bear. When the two meet under the most unlikely of circumstances, Janus finds himself in a whirlwind of a life that gets stranger by the second.

As he starts to uncover more about Remus’, and his brother Roman’s, history, Janus finds himself in a much harder situation than he’d thought he’d be in. Can he stop his past repeating itself? Or will he have to carry the weight of living alone once again?

Chapter Summary: Remus is going to be okay, or so he hopes, so everybody around him hopes; if he can just take those steps to get there.

Janus stays the night in this hospital room, he’s fairly certain these people are supposed to ask if he’s family, but then again they hadn’t asked the last time he’d been sleeping on a single chair waiting for Remus to wake up. He supposes the night shift have more important things to worry about than him, as attested by the fact he’s sleeping on a very uncomfortable chair.

Roman looked exhausted when he left, the sort of tired that no amount of ‘go home and get some rest’ can fix. Janus does not for a moment blame him, he understands why Roman can’t stay here, firstly because he’s already a mess of muscle soreness and he will not be able to sleep in this room; and secondly, because this is not the first time Roman, or Patton, have sat in a hospital room waiting for Remus to wake up. Something like that doesn’t get easier to see, it only gets harder.

Janus wonders how many times he’s going to see this, if ever again. He doesn’t want to place too much hope in his own heart because this crash is so brutal that he wonders how to stabilise his own heart. No wonder Roman always looks older than he is, acts older too, could you imagine having to be a father not only to your twin brother but to yourself too? Could you imagine being the sole support network to someone who seems to tick like a time bomb and then explode?

He doesn’t pity Roman, but he’s very glad he has Patton because that means that Janus knows he’s safe and not alone.

Janus does not find it easy to sleep that night and not because the chair is so stiff and uncomfortable. At first, he struggles to sleep despite his overwhelming exhaustion, the hours creeping by. Occasionally he cries quietly, softly, so no-one can hear. It’s just him, the darkness, and his partner. He tries to grasp the situation as best as he can, one moment Remus had been at home, asleep, and the next he was in a hospital bed. Janus doesn’t really know how to handle that, but he assumes it must be harder for Remus, or at least it will be when he wakes up.

It’s well into the early hours of the morning before he falls asleep, his muscles stiff and his body cold, but he does eventually succumb to slumber.

When the morning rolls around he is still tired, but the sunlight floods the far too white room, offering a little bit of warmth. Janus lifts his head with a wince, his back aching and not in a pleasant way at all, but then he’s more preoccupied with the dark eyes staring at him. Remus is awake, sat up against the headrest with a bowl of cereal in his lap that he seems to be struggling to eat. The IV drip that had been connected to his arm has been removed, but the cannula is still there, the needle taped into the crook of his inside elbow. It doesn’t look comfortable.

Remus looks a little amused by his presence in some way, his eyebrow raised as Janus looks up at him. He pushes a spoonful of cereal into his mouth and then rests the bowl somewhere else, seemingly giving up on trying. He looks like hell, his skin pale and too tight over his bones, bags as dark as bruises even starker against the white lights of the hospital. He looks exhausted, Janus feels exhausted. “You’re awake,” the blond mutters softly, his throat dry and voice rough as he speaks.

“Have been for a few hours now, I woke up whilst it was still dark because I needed to throw up my entire guts, and then I got tea and food from the very lovely nurse.” He gives a grin, but it’s lacking its usual brightness. Janus sits closer to the bed and smiles reassuringly, or what he hopes is reassuring anyway. “You stayed here all night.” It isn’t a question, but Janus nods anyway by way of response. “Your back must be killing you.”

“I can barely feel it,” he replies, voice coming out almost like a whisper. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a truck.” That seems like an accurate description. He doesn’t know what Remus took or how much, but he does know that it doesn’t look pleasant to put that much drugs into you, and even worse to get them all out. His stomach must look like a warzone right now. “But I’ll be alright, apparently I’m an alcoholic, did you know?”

“A little.” Janus rests his head against the bed, his arms folded underneath it. “You do drink a lot, but I wasn’t sure and I didn’t want to say anything.”

“That’s understandable.” Remus shuffles to one side of the bed. “Come on.” Janus glances nervously through the door, before sliding off his shoes and squashing up next to Remus in the bed. He wraps an arm around the other man’s too-thin waist and rests his head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. He doesn’t know why it makes him cry to hear it thudding, but it does. Remus frowns and runs a hand through his hair soothingly. “I’m okay Jan, it’s okay.”

“Nothing about this is okay,” Janus whispers. His voice cracks when he speaks and his voice is almost...angry, but not furious anger, heartbroken. He still doesn’t know what to do with all of these emotions but he does feel ready to pick a fight with absolutely anyone and anything that has ever hurt Remus or ever will. “Absolutely nothing, okay would be you not having to suffer, that would be okay.” He shakes his head just a little, sniffling. “ You are not okay, and this is not okay and it’s not your fault, I don’t blame you but you’re not okay and you need to stop saying you are.” Remus goes silent. He doesn’t say anything for a very long moment.

“I know.” He says softly, eventually, pressing a kiss to the top of Janus’ head. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not upset with you.”

“I know.”

Janus does not want to leave Remus’ side, he eventually has to pry himself away from Remus so the doctors can take his blood. He doesn’t say a word the entire time, he just rests his exhausted head against the bed. Remus however, jokes with them and flirts with the female nurses who definitely know he’s not interested, nothing about this man could be less than flamboyant. He’s doing it to cheer himself up, Janus thinks. He even cracks something of a small smile when the bubbly nurse laughs in response to Remus’ flirtation with “oh I would, but I think my husband might have something to say about it.” Remus laughs instead, he sounds tired even then.

Janus falls asleep again at some point, jerking awake by the sound of the door opening. It’s easily midday by this point as a doctor informs Remus that the psychiatrist will be here in around an hour to have a consultation with him. “Your...brother...?” He looks at Janus, who snorts a little in response. Remus is easily over 6ft tall, thin as a rod with hair that is almost black, there is no way he’s Janus’ brother. They don’t look remotely similar.

“Sure,” Remus says, with a grin. “We’ll go with that.” Janus glares at him.

“...right, well, your brother can join with your consent.”

“Absolutely not,” Janus is still reeling from being mistaken for Remus’ brother. He glances up at his own hair and furrows his eyebrows, yes he’s still obnoxiously blond. His mother used to say Janus could never go missing because his hair is like a traffic light.

“I’m not his brother,” Janus finally says, because that just feels wrong. “His actual brother might want to attend though.”

“He’s not going too, the doctor said I have to consent.” Janus meets Remus’ eyes as though trying to have a silent conversation.

“You do, so you think over that, and I will let you know when the psychiatrist arrives, from a medical standpoint you’re good, your blood work has come back and we’re a little concerned on how low your iron and vitamin d levels are, but over the counter medication for that is fairly cheap, we’ll prescribe you some tablets that you can pick up from your local pharmacy.” The doctor lowers his clipboard and smiles warmly. “You should also cut back on your alcohol consumption, whilst your liver and kidneys are not currently showing any abnormalities, the alcohol levels in your blood were far too great for someone your weight and could indicate future problems.” He nods with a small hum. “But, psychiatric evaluation permitted, you should be able to be discharged today, and we’ll send that prescription over, now it’s most important that you take the vitamins throughout winter, it’s not so imperative in the summer because we have sunlight, but obviously in the winter, days are shorter, less sunlight, so less vitamin D, is all that clear?”

“Yes,” Remus replies, looking like it really is not clear.

“Good, I will leave you and your friend to it then.” Then he walks out the door and closes it behind him.

“Brother?” Janus asks, his voice a whole pitch higher. “If you weren’t bed-bound I would slap you,” he jokes lightly.

“Heteronormitivity is a hell of a drug,” Remus laughs softly, running a hand through his hair. “Come on, don’t lie, it’s just a little bit funny isn’t it?”

“I look nothing like you, like not even distant relatives.” He shakes his head, then grimaces. “Nope, no thank you,” the taller man is laughing properly now at the disgusted expression on Remus’ face. “Now every time I kiss you I’m going to be thinking about the time someone thought I was your brother...he’s a medical professional surely he should know how genetics work, I look nothing like you!”

“Can’t wait to tell Roman,” Remus grins. “He’s going to have a field day, although he’s used to that, so many people think he and Patton are brothers.”

“Patton doesn’t even have the same skin tone as Roman, you two are white as milk and he looks perpetually like he’s just gotten back from fucking Benidorm, that’s even worse!” Remus doesn’t stop laughing, his hand on his stomach as he half laughs and half winces. Then his stomach lurches and he grimaces, hiccuping on his own breath. “Are you okay?”

“About as okay as I can be,” he replies with a small smile. He shuffles around a little, sitting up against the headboard. “What about you?”

“Getting better,” his smile is tight in response, squeezing Remus’ hand in his own gently. “You’re here, and that’s what matters.” Janus meets Remus’ eyes with a more relaxed smile, and Remus’ cheeks flush a little, his eyes going slightly wide before he treas their gazes in two and looks away. “Are you blushing?”

“No.”

“You are! You’re blushing!”

“I am absolutely am not,” Janus stands up off the chair and plonks down next to Remus on the bed, leaning over and kissing his cheek. Remus makes a small noise at the back of his throat and narrows his eyes at Janus. “You stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Seducing me.”

“I am not!”

“Are too!”

The door opens and Roman stands there, staring at the two of them with furrowed eyebrows. “Isn’t Remus blushing?” Janus asks, immediately, his hand coming up to poke the warm cheek. Roman studies Remus’ face with furrowed eyebrows, the other’s cheeks darken in response, burying his face in his hands as he avoids the gaze.

“He is,” Roman concludes with a nod. “What did you do?”

“I...I don’t know to be honest,” Janus grins, before sliding off the bed to sit back down on the chair. That single hospital bed is really not made for two. Remus is smiling very softly as he stares down at the hands that are now in his lap, shaking his head. He looks a little more...bright, with that expression on his face, not forced, not struggling to grasp a hold of a single piece of happiness.

“The doctor said that I’m physically fine,” Remus informs Roman, who nods, sitting down on the other free chair with an interesting expression on his face. “He said the psychiatrist will be here in an hour or something, and then I’ll be allowed to go based on that diagnostic assessment.” He sighs a little, his shoulders rising and falling with the depth of it. “I really landed myself in it this time huh, couldn’t brush that one off as an ‘I forgot how much I was taking,’ could I?”

“No,” Roman replies with a small and sad smile. “But at least now you can actually get some help, and please just...just try, this time, okay? That’s...that’s all I’m asking, just tell the truth and try.” Remus looks up at his brother, the smile absent from his face and back to looking tired and without humour. Janus stares at his own hands for a moment, wondering if he should leave the two to talk, but neither seems to be indicating he should leave. “But at least you didn’t do any lasting damage, which is a miracle in itself.”

“Yeah, apparently I need to stop drinking though, my kidney is on its way out.” Remus snorts, Roman shakes his head, but he is smiling a little in amusement.

“I’ve been telling you that one for years.”

“Oh don’t start.”

“What? It’s true! You…” Janus tunes out the argument, just watching the two of them bicker, voices getting higher but they have those grins on their faces, enjoying riling each other up. Janus had never thought much if he’d wished he’d had a brother or sister. He thinks he probably has a half-brother on his dad’s side, but he never met him.

“The entire ward can hear you two,” none of them had noticed the door opening, Patton is stood there in his normal clothes looking far too amused at the two of them. “I knew before I even got here which room you were in. He hands Roman a coffee and Janus and coffee. Remus pouts. “No caffeine for you mister, or alcohol for that matter I saw your bloodwork.”

“Oh, here we go,” Remus mutters, Patton laughs softly, shaking his head.

“I don’t know how your poor body is still going, I’ve half a mind to be making you a nutrition plan so that you still have organs at thirty.” Janus bites back a grin at the tone, Remus rolls his eyes.

“I know it’s usually Roman’s job, but I’ve half a mind to start calling you daddy.”

“Remus!” Roman and Janus utter in unison. Roman looks mortified, Janus is fairly certain he’s high on endorphins because his laughter is starting to ache in delirium.

“Bullying goes two ways,” Remus shrugs, confiscating his partner’s coffee, who stares at his hand in confusion for a long moment before pouting. Janus decides he now knows far too much about Roman’s sex life. “And I was joking, but judging by how red Roman’s face is, I’m not wrong.”

“A gentleman never kisses and tells,” Patton beams, plonking himself down in Roman’s lap.

“You don’t really need to tell, the walls are very thin,” Remus quips back, before handing the coffee back to Janus, who looks like he’d like to be anywhere but listening to this conversation. “Let a man laugh, I almost died!”

“And that’s quite enough out of you,” Roman mutters, shaking his head, red as a tomato. But he looks happier to see Remus happier...and Janus is too. They’d both been dreading what would come next, if they’d have to console him, if he’d be angry or if he’d be melancholy, but true to Remus he’s up and down like a fucking rollercoaster. Janus isn’t entirely sure the other man knows how to get off this ride any more than they do.

Which is why it’s very important that Remus tells the truth, that he talks about what’s going on with someone.

Another knock on the door has Patton jumping out of Roman’s lap and shuffling awkwardly into the corner of the room, leaning against the windowsill as if it’s particularly interesting. The doctor walks in with a too-friendly smile, but his voice comes out soft and a little worried. “The psychiatrist is here to see you, Remus, will you be attending alone?”

“Yep,” Remus hums. He slides off the bed and winces a little, stretching out his legs with a grimace. “When am I getting this thing taken out?” He gestures to the cannula in his arm.

“We’ll get that taken out after your appointment.”

And then they’re both gone, leaving the three of them in the room to wait. “Do you think he’ll tell the truth?” Janus wonders aloud. They’ve both known Remus their entire lives, they know him better. Every day is a learning experience for Janus and although he cares for his partner greatly and adores him in ways words can’t express, he knows he does not know him better than his brother and best friend.

“I don’t know,” Roman replies gently. “I think he wants too, but…” he trails off, with a shrug. “It’s hard to tell with Remus, one minute he’s one way then another, up and down all the time, he’s not consistent in many things in his life and...lately he’s changing again.” Janus nods in response.

“I hope he does though,” Patton adds quietly. “He’s like a little brother to me, but sometimes I do wonder how much more of this I can take.” Roman nods in agreement. “It’s not his fault, I’m not angry with him or upset with him, it’s just hard living like this; I thought he was getting better and then suddenly he’s in the hospital again.”

“How many times has he done this?” Janus asks.

“Under the assumption that he was in a river for that reason, this would be his seventh suicide attempt,” Roman utters bluntly. Janus puts his coffee down because his stomach suddenly lurches very violently. “I did warn you.”

“I know, it’s okay,” the blond whispers quietly. “I want to help him, but...I can’t, can I?” He looks up at Patton, who knows far more about this stuff than he does.

“You can help, but...mental illness is not something you can stick a bandaid over and it’s fixed, right now you’re a bandaid, but what he’s got is a gunshot wound, and unless he gets professional help, he’s going to bleed himself dry; he needs real psychological help, and possibly medication, but the developments for this sort of thing still have a lot of work that needs doing.”

“Right.”

“It’s not easy, I know the sort of therapy he’d have to go through, I couldn’t imagine being able to stomach it either.” Patton looks down at the ground.

“You read a lot, don’t you?” Janus asks, the other man laughs softly, Roman looks up at his partner with this inch of pride. It must be wonderful to be looked at like that. Janus thinks doctors and nurses are kind of like superheroes, they work and work for next to nothing, except the need to help other people. He wouldn’t be able to stomach this job, and if there’s anything he knows about Patton who is eternally soft-hearted, he thinks that this man must be a whole lot braver than he is.

He must see people like this every single day and he just keeps going. Janus is surprised that there isn’t specialist therapy for nurses and doctors, who have to see the real horrors of the world.

“I have too, I’m going to be a doctor one day,” then Patton beams and Janus feels like everything is going to be just fine. He calls that the nurse effect, where they make you feel like there’s nothing that is ever going to go wrong whilst you're in their care.

When Remus returns he looks like he’s been dragged to hell and back, his eyes are puffy and his hands are shaking and he doesn’t think twice about curling up in Janus’ lap and burying his face in his neck. Janus, unsure entirely what to do, hugs him close and presses a kiss to the top of the brunet’s head. “I hated that.”

“I don’t think anyone enjoys it.” Remus nods. “What did he say?”

“Well I’m definitely traumatised, I’ve got to attend therapy at the adult psychological services and he offered me antidepressants, but apparently I need to read all the side effects first and have a talk with my GP.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“You’re telling me.” He takes a deep, shaky breath in “...but at least they’re letting me go, it’s just looking like I’m gonna have therapy.”

“That’s good.” Remus shoots him a look of distaste. “I know, but it is good.”

“Yeah, just not looking forward to it either.”

“I know but it will help.” Remus smiles at him, not happily, but in a comforting fashion, or perhaps the smile of someone who is comforted. All he really knows for that second, is maybe it will be worth it, maybe there is life on the other side of all of this.

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akozuheiwa · 4 years

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Krel and Gaylen’s Core: An Analysis of the Evidence

For the sake of my followers’ dashes, the essay is under the cut.

In animation, almost nothing is left up to coincidence. Purposeful choices are made to foreshadow and highlight themes throughout a show, and Tales of Arcadia is well-known for its small details and hints scattered throughout the show. When we are introduced to the concept of Gaylen’s core as a MacGuffin for season two of 3Below, we are also quickly inundated with imagery and quotes that imply a link between the core and the youngest Tarron sibling, Krel. This variety of hints, both implicit and explicit, leads me to believe that there is a direct connection between Krel and Gaylen’s core that will be explored further in the coming series, Wizards.

The first time we ever hear the term “Gaylen’s core” occurs in the episode “Flying the Coop”. This moment is significant for multiple reasons. Despite being an object so key to the later plot, its existence remains unheard of for half of the first season. Thus, the circumstances of its appearance are inevitably important and should be given significant attention. Krel is the first person to use the term “Gaylen’s core”, at 2:54 in this episode. This immediately puts into viewers heads a faint association between Krel and Gaylen’s core. In addition, this exclamation occurs directly after Krel’s core is visually highlighted on screen as the bounty hunter Birdie’s target, drawing a direct connection between Krel’s core and Gaylen’s core. The implication of this connection would not be clear yet, but the link would be there for later uses of the term.

The next significant mention of Gaylen’s core is at the beginning of the episode “Bad Omen”. King Fialkov tells his sleeping children the story of Gaylen creating Akiridion-5. This scene sets up the connection of the entire Tarron family to Gaylen’s core. Queen Coranda tells Aja and Krel that they must be “beacons for the future”. Following this, all four royal cores glow brighter, thus highlighting literally and figuratively the connection between the royals and the creator of their home planet. The only other time we see a core glow so brightly – in fact, even more brightly – is during Krel’s coronation in “Terra Incognita Part One”. I find it very significant that Krel’s is the only coronation that we see. The event itself shows what are presumably the satellites or colonies of Akiridion-5 surrounding Krel, imagery seen once again in “The Big Sleep” when we see Fialkov once again telling the story of Gaylen creating Akiridion-5. This imagery also reappears in “Race to Trollmarket” when Kanjigar shows the group the story of Seklos and Gaylen.

“The Big Sleep” is an incredibly important episode for this theory. As mentioned above, we see the imagery from the coronation reappear. Shortly after this, we see Fialkov scold Krel exclusively for tinkering with one of his inventions. Singling out Krel like this suggests to me that Fialkov considers it important that Krel, specifically, have this knowledge of Gaylen’s core. However, the most significant part of this episode occurs at the very beginning. We see Fialkov and Coranda before Krel’s coronation, a memory that is confirmed to be related to Gaylen’s core. Fialkov asks his wife, “Are you sure Krel is ready for all of this?” This once again singles out the younger Tarron. He argues that “Krel is just a boy” and Coranda says that, “until he is ready, Gaylen’s core rests in the hands of its guardian”. This draws an extremely explicit connection between Krel and Gaylen’s core, the clearest we have seen through the entire show. The associations that were introduced earlier, in the coronation, in the very first mention of Gaylen’s core, are all brought back to the forefront of our subconscious. There can be very little doubt now that Krel’s arc is somehow intertwined with the mythical Gaylen’s core.

Further evidence presents itself in “Race to Trollmarket”. Krel spends a good portion of the episode at centre, the main point of focus for the scene almost every time he’s on-screen. When the group reaches Trollmarket, Krel is the one to activate the Soothscryer. It could have easily been Aja or even Aaarrrgghh!!!, but it was Krel. Aside from being centred for much of the episode, Krel also often ends up in front. In fact, it is his hand that reaches the Soothscryer first, not Aja. Even starker evidence, however, comes in the form of Kanjigar’s spirit immediately singling Krel out. The fact that it does not push Aja forward, nor does it simply lead them, but rather circles and pushes Krel, further hints towards Krel’s connection to Gaylen’s core. In addition, Krel is the only one to end up following it into the Deep. There is no real reason why the others could not have come with him to gain more ground instead of facing the approaching bad guys, but Krel goes alone and is forced to overcome his greatest fear. Later in the episode, when the group is shown the story of Seklos and Gaylen, Krel is clearly juxtaposed with the image of Gaylen (and Aja, curiously, is juxtaposed with Seklos). He also gets suspiciously eliminated from the action very shortly after Morando arrives. While Krel is notorious for getting knocked out, there must have been a reason to take Krel out of the picture for the retrieval of Gaylen’s core.

The choice of who stayed in Arcadia is a deliberate one. Toby and Aaarrrgghh!!! stayed. Steve stayed. But most importantly, Krel stayed, choosing Earth and his friends as his home. The characters who stayed are indubitably important to the upcoming Wizards, and we have further confirmation from Diego Luna that Krel has another character arc coming up. With all the evidence stacking up, it seems very possible that Krel’s arc will have something to do with Gaylen’s core. After all, so much, especially in animation, can’t be a coincidence. I’m eager to see how the show will play this and how and if all of the build-up will finally pay off during the final series of Tales of Arcadia.

#tales of arcadia #toawizards #3below #krel tarron #long post #gaylen's core #toa theory #listen #i should be going to sleep #instead i wrote a 1000 word essay #with lots and lots of evidenced #maybe i sound crazy #but i am CONVINCED

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pynkhues · 5 years

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Maybe Beth didn’t say anything about Dean’s cancer because she’s truly over him in any romantic way. When she thought she was going to jail the only thing she said was, “you in look nice.” Do you think Beth still has romantic feelings for Dean? I don’t think she’s had them since the snow started.

That’s an interesting point, anon. Even beyond their obvious marital problems, there really does seem to be a fundamental lack of intimacy at the core of Beth and Dean’s relationship, and I get the impression that that isn’t a new thing for either of them. It’s made all the starker when it’s compared to Ruby and Stan, who are so intimate - physically, emotionally and intellectually.

One of the things that I think S2 did a good job of was actually in giving us some key context for Beth and Dean’s relationship which goes beyond the current state of it and their more recent history. Namely, through four scenes:

1. In 2.02, Beth tells Ruby that she doesn’t think she’s ever looked at Dean the way Ruby looks at Stan, basically implying if she was ever in love with Dean, it wasn’t a deep love.

2. The flashbacks in 2.08 revealing the lack of stability and security in Beth’s home life and the breadth of responsibilities thrust upon her as a young teenager. Then Dean asking her out at the end of it - the dialogue between Beth and Ruby about it giving us two pretty important bits of information - firstly that Dean’s older, and secondly that Boland Motors was his father’s business.

3. Beth’s conversation with Dean’s mother in 2.09 which reveal that Dean’s father cheated routinely on Dean’s mother, and she’d stayed with him.

4. Ruby and Annie’s fight in 2.10, where Ruby tells Annie that Beth had no choice but to marry Dean because she had no one to fall back on and no one to clean up after her, and Annie as a responsibility.

What I’m getting at is that I don’t think Beth was ever really in love with Dean. I think she probably loves him in a sort of familial way, but not as a lover, and not as a partner. What I think Beth saw in Dean was the chance to be provided for instead of the provider. I think she saw security, a stable family and a future in Dean taking over his father’s business, a way that she could take care of Annie, and I think she probably viewed that as more important than intimacy or partnership by the pure fact that she’d had none of it before.

Which is why I think the cheating was something she actually could move past. What she couldn’t move past was him proving himself unable to provide for her and her children. What she couldn’t move past was him putting her in the exact situation she’d married him to escape - broke, and alone, with children depending on her to survive.

So no - I don’t think Beth still has romantic feelings for Dean. I don’t think she’s had romantic feelings for Dean in a very, very long time. I think she rebuilt some degree of affection back in S1 when he was at least trying to provide for her still - working and taking care of the botox and building her craft tables to hide her cash in, but I think even that affection dissipated after the cancer lie was revealed only to be promptly replaced by guilt over getting him shot.

Her not feeling romantically inclined towards Dean - or passionate about him at all - certainly could’ve been a reason she never addressed the cancer lie though, you’re right! I said it in another post, but I actually don’t need Beth to acknowledge the cancer lie - I think it’s in-character for her to sort of furiously compartmentalise it - but I need the show to acknowledge it - whether that’s through Annie or Ruby, or through Dean getting punished by way of the doctor he paid off, or something. I just need some sort of acknowledgement of it, and I really hope we do get it in S3.

#beth x dean #gg 2.02 #gg 2.08 #gg 2.09 #gg 2.10 #nbc good girls #beth boland #dean boland #ruby x stan #welcome to my ama #character backgrounds #interior lives #staying's worse than leaving #gg season 2

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ravenqueen89 · 4 years

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meanings (mollie shepard/cassandra pentaghast)

delay in posting everything has been produced due to the world being waves hands whatever the hell it is right now.

this is another smol Patreon offering for @agentkatie, featuring some AU within an AU riffing on her life-changing work The Two Commanders. In this version, Mollie ends up with Cassandra (sorry, Cullen, pls to forgive, the draw was too strong, i love them).

word count: 1003

also on ao3.

‘Do you mean it?’

The words spill out before Cassandra has decided to say them, and it startles them both. She’d made little noise walking out onto the battlements and Shepard had been watching the stars, uninterested in the rest of her surroundings. Something in the far-away look on Shepard’s face had made her look like the fragment of a dream and Cassandra spoke and now they’re staring at each other in shared confusion.

‘Do I mean what?’ Shepard asks, exhaustion lurking in the shadows under her eyes, tucked in the corner of her mouth.

Cassandra should refrain from speaking ever again, but there’s a dreamlike quality to this night, to this moment, with the stars casting their light over them while the rest of the fortress slumbers. There’s something about the relationship between Shepard and the stars that Cassandra will never be able to understand, but the open longing for them on Shepard’s face insinuates itself under Cassandra’s skin, tugging at her heart.

‘This constant and poor attempt at flirtation,’ Cassandra replies, wincing as Shepard’s expression shifts back into familiar territory with the blooming of a mischievous grin.

‘Why, Seeker, you noticed!’

Cassandra laughs, far too loudly, but the patrolling guards making their rounds don’t seem to react to the sudden burst of noise. ‘Everyone across Thedas has noticed. Subtlety is not something that will ever be associated with you.’

Shepard laughs then, too, and Cassandra feels ridiculously nervous all of a sudden, her palms tingling in the cold air. She feels vulnerable for no apparent reason and she hates showing it, hates the barely-there tremor in her voice when she says ‘do you mean it?’ again like she’s never received propositions before.

Something shifts in Shepard’s expression again and it’s always a surprise to see the seriousness in her under the layers she hides behind. Cassandra still shouldn’t have said anything, but too many fraught months have passed, too much has taken its toll on both of them and it has brought them here, sleepless under the starlit sky. Cassandra has been analysing all the ways in which she’s changed, and she’s been wondering. She’s allowed her thoughts to stray too far and she should not admit to it, but Cassandra feels an unbearable need for honesty.

Shepard takes two steps towards her and stops, the freezing mountain wind making a mess of her braid, her hair fiery in the flickering torchlight. Cassandra wants to run her fingers through it and that’s definitely new, definitely a change. The thought must show on her face because Shepard takes another two steps and stops right in front of Cassandra, the height difference between them even starker than usual.

‘Cass, you’re really hot and really badass and that’s definitely a type I’m into, but I’m not here to make anyone uncomfortable.’ At Cassandra’s raised eyebrow and flushed cheeks, Shepard laughs again, a soft sound, and rephrases her sentence. ‘I’m not here to make you uncomfortable. I’ll stop.’

Cassandra shakes her head. She’s clumsy with words used to depict feelings, but this is not at all what she was implying. ‘Do you mean it, Shepard?’ she asks, the third time, the final time, and Shepard must notice the edge in her voice that hints at everything Cassandra is unable to articulate because she moves even closer, annihilating the space between them, framed by the stars.

‘I mean it,’ Shepard says, like it’s easy, like it’s obvious, and then she stretches on her tiptoes and presses a kiss to the corner of Cassandra’s mouth, a far gentler gesture than Cassandra was expecting. Her heart is racing in a way everyone must be able to hear, and she feels frozen by all the things she wants. She is a woman grown, but her feelings are out of control, her thoughts a chaotic jumble, and Shepard is waiting for her, softness wrapped around all her edges.

Cassandra has become used to the two of them working as a team on the field, synchronised in battle, but this is something she doesn’t know. Her movements feel as clumsy as her words, but all she can do is wrap her arms around Shepard’s waist and pull her up and kiss her like she’s been doing it from the start, like her arms could ever hold on to all the universes burning inside Shepard.

They kiss each other like they fight, together, following each other’s movements, reacting to each other’s rhythm, powerful and fierce and undeniable. Cassandra has to remind herself to breathe in the occasional space between their lips but breathing feels utterly secondary. They shouldn’t be doing this in the open but even her disdain for rumours feels insignificant in this moment. If any conversations arise, she will deal with them. She has a feeling that the Inquisitor will not be surprised by this.

They hold on to each other and Cassandra is unwilling to move away. One of her hands has found its way to Shepard’s hair, the braid now only a memory. She feels entirely alive, like she’s made of starlight and she doesn’t know what to do with this feeling. For a moment, she allows herself the illusion that they are the only two people here, that nothing can interrupt this. It is the first time duty feels meaningless.

‘I’m guessing you mean it too, then?’ Shepard asks, her voice warm and low, the tone once more mischievous. Cassandra really shouldn’t find it endearing. She rolls her eyes but doesn’t even try to move and Shepard kisses her again, like they have all the time in the world, like they don’t have to be back on the road in only a few hours.

Cassandra doesn’t know how this will work, doesn’t know what the future holds, doesn’t know if this world will ever be enough for Shepard. For now, as the starlight wraps itself around them, as the sky feels close enough to touch, she allows herself to feel everything at once. Shepard doesn’t let go.

#i love these characters and also katie #cass marry me #mollie marry me also #what are tenses tho #my writing #patreon

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the-desolated-quill · 5 years

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Watchmaker - Watchmen blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. if you haven’t read this comic yet, you may want to before reading this review)

‘Groundbreaking’ is often a term associated with Watchmen, and rightly so. Its writing, composition and complex themes helped redefine what a comic book could be and allowed the medium to breakthrough into the mainstream and be treated as legitimate literature. But if I were to pinpoint an exact moment when Watchmen went from being a great comic to a groundbreaking one, it would be this very issue. Chapter 4: Watchmaker.

Doctor Manhattan looks at a photograph of himself and his ex girlfriend Jenny Slater before discarding it and constructing a glass palace for himself out of the Martian sands. Whilst this is happening, we get flashbacks explaining Manhattan’s origins. Doesn’t sound like much, but what makes this issue so groundbreaking is how it plays around with the idea of non-linear time and uses the unique structure of comic book panels to express that. Honestly it’s so good, you don’t even need to have read the issues before to get it. It’s a perfect standalone issue that explores a superhuman slowly losing his humanity.

A big theme of this issue in particular, as well as Watchmen as a whole, is that of predeterminism. The idea that free will is an illusion and that the future cannot be changed. Manhattan posits that because of certain actions and events, the present moment was always inevitable. The minute his father threw the cogs of his watch out of the window and forced him to drop his career as a watchmaker in favour of being a physicist, his path was laid out for him. This is illustrated beautifully by Dave Gibbons, using recurring images like the falling cogs and meteorites to draw thematic parallels between events in the life of Jon Osterman. While a lot of the reasons for this issue’s success I think is down to Gibbon’s artwork and composition, Alan Moore deserves praise as well for Manhattan’s narration. Watchmaker is ostensibly one big internal monologue, and even though Manhattan seems to deliver this in a deadpan manner, it’s extremely emotionally charged as we discover just how he came to be.

The story of Jon Osterman’s transformation into Doctor Manhattan is nothing short of tragic. For a superhuman that can control atomic forces, it’s ironic that he had absolutely no control over his life whatsoever. He wanted to be a watchmaker until his father forced him to become a physicist after hearing about the atomic bomb. His superpowers were the result of an accident that was beyond his control. He never wanted to be a superhero, but felt obliged to when the US government came a-calling. He’s heavily implied to be liberal, as demonstrated by his friendly and light-hearted interactions with President Kennedy compared to his interactions with Nixon, and yet it’s because of Manhattan’s intervention in Vietnam that Nixon was able to run for a third term as President. Even his relationship with Janey Slater wasn’t entirely his choice. They were visiting a funfair and a photographer referred to them as a couple, planting the idea in their heads. If that hadn’t happened, things could very well have turned out differently. Maybe her watch wouldn’t have been broken, he wouldn’t have offered to fix it, which meant he would never have stumbled into the intrinsic field generator in the first place. Jon has been at the mercy of the effects of causation his entire life, which speaks to his current apathy. Yes it’s partly because of the fact that he’s now operating on a different plain of reality to us, being able to experience time all at once and seeing everything around him by their atomic structures, but it’s also in some ways because he feels bitter about how his life has never really been his own. He’s existed solely for the needs of others. The most powerful man in the world is also paradoxically powerless to control his own fate. Even his knowledge of the future contributes to this because if it has been predetermined that Kennedy will be assassinated, then how can Manhattan interfere?

Over the course of his origins, we see him turn from being a nice, well meaning man, to an emotionless deity who couldn’t care less about morality or the lives of the people around him. This is illustrated through his clothes. At the beginning, we see Manhattan in a full superhero costume, but as the story goes on, we see more and more bare flesh showing until we get to the present where Manhattan is now starkers. Clothes are a human invention and Manhattan sees no need for them. He feels no shame or embarrassment because he is essentially a God. It’s a great visual way of demonstrating his loss of humanity. By the end of the issue, it’s hard to really fault the guy for his lack of empathy. Even when you know his emigration to Mars could in fact spell doom for America, I was still on Manhattan’s side for the most part. His move to Mars is probably the only proactive thing he’s done in his entire life. The only action he’s had any kind of control over.

In the extra material for Watchmaker, we get a report written by Jon’s friend Wally Weaver that explores the implications of Manhattan’s existence. One key phrase stands out for me and it’s this:

“I never said ‘The superman exists and he’s American.’ What I said was ‘God exists and he’s American.’“

This relates to what I’ve been saying about how Manhattan’s very existence has altered the global balance of power. They have the powers of a God on their side. The Vietcong even ask to surrender to Manhattan in person, bowing to him as though he were a God. The world is practically at the mercy of the United States. But Weaver also raises an interesting point. That the use of Manhattan as a deterrent to stop Russia from developing more nukes is misguided. Rather than roll over and accept America’s dominance, Russia would instead be spurred on by Manhattan’s existence to attack America in an act of mutually assured destruction. What have they got to lose? Russia may be destroyed, but so will America. Not even Doctor Manhattan can stop all the nukes. He may be a superman, but he’s still a man.

Which brings me to arguably the scariest thing about Doctor Manhattan. While he may have the powers and omniscience of a God, he’s still first and foremost a man. A deeply flawed man. He leaves Janey to be with Laurie for the simple reason that Laurie is younger and more attractive. Manhattan may be ageless, but Janey isn’t. Would a God break the heart of an older woman so he could have his wicked way with a teenage girl? No, but Manhattan would.

There’s also a great scene between him and Hollis Mason as they discuss what Hollis will do now that he’s retired. Hollis says he’s going to become a car mechanic, at which point Manhattan drops the bombshell that due to his powers, motor cars will now be obsolete, replaced with electric cars powered by lithium batteries that Manhattan can produce at will. Would a God make such a drastic change to an entire industry without considering the impact it would have on millions of people’s jobs? No, but Manhattan would.

Even Manhattan’s current image as America’s Strongest Man is in some ways down to Jon’s vanity. When he reconstructs his body after the accident, instead of creating something akin to what he was before, he appears as this giant, muscular hunk with a massive dick and a fantastic arse (I should know. I’ve been scrutinising it intently. LOL). He has all the powers of a God, but not the responsibility or the morality that goes with it. He’s a cautionary tale of what happens when a normal person is granted unimaginable power without considering the implications.

This review took me longer to write than I intended, and I apologise for that. I still don’t think I’ve covered everything, but I hope you can appreciate the complexities and intricacies of Watchmaker regardless. This is a phenomenally good comic and I think is the prime reason why Watchmen is as groundbreaking as it is.

#watchmaker #watchmen #alan moore #dave gibbons #dc comics #review #spoilers

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areluctantsblog · 5 years

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Music AU - part 2

Au where Tony Stark is a music producer & the owner of Avengers Entertainment, Peter is a multi-instrumentalist British jazz musician and War Machine is a progmetal band. In other words the starker fic in which Peter smirks a lot and Tony remains astonishingly oblivious for a long time.

PART1

Afternoon

Tony walks back to the hotel still slightly dazed, manages to find his room and hurries to get ready for his meeting. He’s relieved to find all he needs to know in a folder that he doesn’t remember packing. Pepper knows him too well.

She also knows better than to let Tony deal with the important company stuff alone. Except if it is about music, of course. And that’s what Tony is planning to do: make a historic deal by signing Peter Parker to the Avengers. But first, this meeting, with Mr… Whatshisname from Britain’s biggest independent label. Well, the deal must be as good as sealed if Tony’s here alone, especially in his current state of mind.

Fifteen minutes in, Tony is certain he has sat at more boring meetings back in the day when he was pretending to be a CEO but simply cannot recall one at the moment. Or is it boring? He is not even sure. All he knows is that his brain keeps conjuring up questions, ideas and �� those are the worst – images at an astonishingly high frequency, all about Peter Parker. He manages to focus on the presentation he’s supposed to follow and grasps enough to realise that the other man is in fact rather good at his job. So, the Avengers is probably making a good deal. He strains to listen…

But then there are Peter’s eyes again and then other things, those that Tony is yet to see, like what Peter is going to wear that night. At least that’s a professional question, Tony tells himself. Show outfits are important, after all… He forces his attention outwards again. The end of the discussion approaching, he decides to at least be very polite and friendly with his future colleagues. It’s not their fault after all that he’s a mess and maybe, just maybe if he plays it real nice, the news of this won’t get back to Pepper.

A quarter of an hour later Tony’s walking out of the company’s building. He deems his performance successful enough to maybe win him a day before Pepper calls shouting. He decides to walk back to the hotel by the Thames, needing some of the chilly breeze to help him relax. He stops to watch the backwash left by a cruiser and it reminds of the venue Peter mentioned. The Steamer. He googles it and finds out that it is a decommissioned ship that’s been transformed into a concert venue. Tony’s not surprised by this either. Peter seems to choose places that suit him. Tony hopes that the young man’s decision later that night will suit them both.

Once back in his room, Tony pours himself a drink and considers himself in the mirror. He brought a good suit for the meeting, yet is it enough? He wants to look irresistible. In a professional sense. He frowns at his reflection, empties his glass and starts to undress. He’s still got time to decide.

His phone buzzes a few minutes later. It’s a reminder for his flight back. Yeah, that is not happening, at least not tonight. He’ll get back tomorrow and no harm… Tony groans. The next day is the date of War Machine’s 20th anniversary show. It takes place in Madison Square Garden and it is sold out, so twenty thousand people will be attending. Well, they are not interested in him, but he did promise to Rhodey... Shit. Shit. Shit.

He calls Rhodey.

“Hey, how’d it go?” his friend asks right away.

“It was all right. Boring, but you know…”

“You have no idea what you talked about,” Rhodey lets out an exasperated laugh. “Guess I’ll be a good friend and won’t tell Pepper about it before you get your ass back here.”

“Yes, about that –” Tony begins, but Rhodey cuts in.

“Don’t tell me you’ve missed your plane.”

“– I’m staying another night,” he finishes, speaking over his friend.

“What?! You’re joking, right?” there’s a minute’s pause while he waits in silence for Tony to speak. Then he continues, annoyed yet confident. “You’re boarding like right now, aren’t you?”

“No, sorry, no. Something has come up,” Tony manages to say eventually.

“Why am I so sure,” his best friend begins in his ‘I know you too well and I hate it’ tone, “that that something will mysteriously turn into a someone in your next sentence?”

“He’s a genius, Rhodey,” Tony insists.

“Yeah?” he sounds doubtful. “Pray tell.”

“He plays jazz, and he has this amazing idea–”

“And he’s twenty and looks like an angel,” Rhodey cuts in. “Let me rephrase, then. Can’t you fuck him real quick like and still catch that plane?”

“You wound me, my friend. I have long left my infamous past behind me. My interest is purely professional.”

“I could literally see your face twitch. You know, the way it does when you catch yourself lying?”

“He may look, ahem,” Tony’s searching for a safe enough word, then decides it’s better not to trust himself with finding one. So, what he settles on is “…good.”

He hears Rhodey heave an enormous sigh. “Ok. So, tell me what’s so special about him.”

And Tony tells him. All about their chance meeting in a high-end music shop, Peter’s bespoke outfit, their conversation, the undecipherable way Peter kept looking at him, his idea for the piano and all the instruments he plays, how perfect his hands are for playing, the good feeling he has about working together, the way Peter noticed he doesn’t like being handed things, his humility and his sass. Then he mentions the invite and hopes that he managed to convince his friend – who remains silent. For a beat. Followed by another one. Longer, this time. Tony’s about to ask him what he thinks when he hears Rhodey clear his throat.

“Wow. You really are serious.”

“Of course, I am, told you I’m staying. Can’t you see why? I know jazz isn’t the usual profile for the Avengers, but it’s my call and I say we need him. He’ll be great, maybe not commercially but artistically and that would just be so him. The living legend who can still walk down the street…”

“So, let’s see if I get this straight. You say that you’re staying solely for the good of the company. To make a contract with a young prodigy who makes completely different music than your other productions and who won’t even be a commercial hit. And it has nothing to do with him being twenty and looking like an angel.”

“Twenty-five and no, you didn’t get it right” Tony huffs, irritated. Why can’t Rhodey just see the point?

“If you say so. Go on then. Stay. We are all grownups in War Machine and can manage to stay out of trouble without a babysitter.”

“I don’t need a babysitter. Trust me on this, Rhodey, I know what I’m doing.”

“If only I could believe you. But I guess you’ll let me know eventually whether you’ve figured it out or not. Have a nice evening, Tones.”

“You are the best.”

“I know. Now go and suit up.”

Tony hangs up smiling, but it fades quickly when he realises that he’s back to the original dilemma of whether his suit will do or not. In Tony’s experience, in cases such as these, it’s best to seek out the best. Even though he has a nagging feeling, that – say if held at gunpoint – he couldn’t exactly define what cases such as these imply exactly, he’s already pulled up his maps app and searched for Savile Row.

#starker #music au #mine

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stevenuniversallyreviews · 5 years

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Episode 103: Bubbled

“If I could begin to be half of what you think of me, I could do about anything.”

In the middle of Act I of Steven Universe, Steven saves the Atlantic Ocean, and in the middle of Act II, he saves Earth. These are large-scale victories that show his growing capabilities as a Crystal Gem in the global sense: he’s a defender of the world and all its inhabitants, and has two major accomplishments to show for it.

The end of Act I is more of a personal fight. The only lives at stake are those of the Crystal Gems as they’re brought into space, and Steven takes a more passive role in the finale, helping here and there but ultimately having the day saved by Garnet (and, arguably, Lapis). And it turns out the pattern of a more extreme sequel in Act II continues: in Bubbled, the only life at stake is his own, and despite being far more competent than he was in Jailbreak, he needs to be saved by others once again, because he’s been shattered.

As with Jailbreak, Steven spends a good part of Bubbled with another ornery ruby who gripes “Great! This is just perfect!” and barely gives him the time of day at first. In both episodes he tries and fails to help this ruby: our Ruby runs off on her own in impatience, and Eyeball tries to shank him and must be ejected from his bubble. But something interesting happens when you compare these rubies further, because beyond their opposing loyalties, there’s one major difference between the two of them: Ruby has such a low opinion of herself that she doesn’t think it matters whether or not she gets hurt, while Eyeball has such a high opinion of herself that she dreams of being the hero who defeats Rose Quartz, complete with glory from the Diamonds (and her own pearl). And really, this is one of the things the show is all about.

The flaws of practically every character in Steven Universe come down to the dichotomy between insecurity and overconfidence. At a glance, we can read our heroes as insecure and our villains as overconfident (Pearl and Amethyst good, Jasper and Kevin bad), but the actual lesson is that everyone has insecurities, and overconfidence is more often than not a reaction to it. As we learn more about our smug villains, we see the shortcomings that drive that smugness, and only then can Steven bridge the gap towards friendship. Heck, Garnet is the only truly confident Crystal Gem, and while I wouldn’t quite call her smug, at her worst she evokes the ice cold certainty of Sapphire more than the exposed nerve of Ruby. Like our villains, she begins as a mysterious figure, and her arc in Act II involves letting her Ruby out to become more balanced: she better understands her insecure family by embracing the uncertainty within, and uses this growth to reach out and help an insecure enemy understand her in Log Date 7 15 2.

Garnet might seem to have her act together compared to the other Crystal Gems, but let’s not forget that the emotionally healthiest character in the series is Greg Universe. He’s overconfident in flashbacks, but in the present is at peace with his shortcomings and happy with what he has without needing to compensate. He mourns Rose, but converts this grief into a celebration of his son’s life. Greg isn’t as dynamic a character as the rest because he’s already figured the important things out; he has his missteps, but his core is consistent and largely unchanging, even when he stumbles upon life-changing wealth. Steven tries to be like Rose throughout the series, but it’s not for nothing that Change Your Mind ties self-acceptance to sitting on the beach with a guitar.

I know I’m talking big picture here in terms of the characters and the series, but there’s not much to discuss about Bubbled at the surface level: it’s the misadventure of two enemies that sours to a breaking point, followed by a rescue. It’s actually a pretty slow bottle episode, consisting of a few long conversations broken up by two action sequences, and ending with another conversation. It’s similar in structure to Open Book and Gem Hunt, but far starker than either.

So the big picture is what matters when discussing Bubbled, because it’s a story about how Steven’s inner demons manifest, and will continue to manifest for the rest of the series. After all, Steven himself began as an overconfident kid, rushing into situations he wasn’t ready for and annoyed with not being considered a peer. He becomes far more tolerable after Steven and the Stevens, when he takes this attitude down a few notches and starts trying in earnest to catch up instead of looking for shortcuts or assuming he’s already there whenever anything goes right. But his insecurity is also clear, and now we get to really dig into the unique way this affects his character after examining how other insecurities affect other characters.

Amethyst’s insecurity raises her defenses like a pufferfish. Pearl’s insecurity makes her insensitive to the needs of others. Ruby’s insecurity compels her to verbalize her own worthlessness (while Sapphire radiates confidence and is only insecure when her signature ability to be secure in the future is disrupted). Connie’s insecurity drives her to prove her worth to others. Peridot’s insecurity causes her to belittle others to make herself seem bigger. Lapis’s insecurity magnifies her suffering and minimizes the good. Bismuth’s insecurity inspires her to overcommit to a righteous cause. Sadie’s insecurity lets people walk all over her until she snaps. Lars’s insecurity makes him a huge jerk. And Steven’s insecurity fuels a martyr complex that’s cranked up to life-threatening heights in Act III.

The most important choice Steven makes in Bubbled is a mind-numbingly stupid one: to tell Eyeball that he’s Rose Quartz, and to then do everything in his power to convince her. Eyeball is the reason he learned Rose shattered Pink Diamond, and she has given every indication that she despises Rose for this, and she’s an especially aggressive member of an aggressive team made of Gems designed to be aggressive. Steven’s reveal comes after Eyeball has made it explicit that her lingering hatred of Rose is the reason she even came to Earth. He’s alone in space with someone who will try to hurt him if she thought he was Rose (and who already wants to hurt him), and he has proven throughout Act II that he’s neither dumb nor naive enough to not understand the likely outcome here. But he says he’s Rose anyway, because he’s so obsessed with helping people that he's willing to put his own safety at risk just to cheer up an enemy.

There are other reasons I think it makes sense for him to make such an obvious mistake. He’s definitely in shock, but he’s also grumpy and takes Eyeball’s disbelief as a challenge. This is an irrational decision made by someone who isn’t in a rational state of mind. But this only makes it more compelling that his gut instinct, the essence of Steven that emerges from this emotional turmoil, is to help someone else. We’ve already had a whole episode about balancing the needs of others with the needs of yourself in Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service, but remember, that episode ends with Steven falling asleep standing up, because he ignored his own health to help Kiki learn that lesson.

Steven’s greatest strength creates his greatest weakness. He’s empathetic and sensitive, and can do amazing things because of it, but he needs to value himself as much as he values everyone around him. Act III sees him stumble and scramble through more trying times than ever, and until Connie finally calls him out on it, he compounds his troubles with his self-sacrificial mindset. He’s not suicidal by any stretch, but he decides his own needs are irrelevant when others need help, which ironically makes him more selfish than ever as he determines that he and he alone can save the day and stop his friends from getting hurt. And even when the cosmic scale fades away, his obsession with helping others to distract from himself becomes the driving conflict of Steven Universe Future.

Eyeball works wonders as a foil: she opposes Steven, but isn’t savvy enough to manipulate him on purpose, so his error is both obvious and unforced. Telling her that he’s Rose Quartz needs to say more about him than about the person he’s telling, and Eyeball is just flat enough of a character that she doesn’t steal his spotlight.

Charlyne Yi once again kills it, and little moments do personalize Eyeball further, even if it’s nothing groundbreaking. The biggest, in my mind, is commanding Steven to “find cover, soldier!” as asteroids approach, despite their antagonistic relationship: her instinct to act as a team trumps her personal disdain for Steven, and while he assumes later that the two are bonding, this is as close as I think she actually gets to reciprocating. We see her get annoyed at being called Eyeball, which is a nice and reasonable gripe from a character whose gripes we tend to disagree with. And I love that her weapon is less of a knife and more of a shiv, with a squared edge that implies she’s got a really strong stabbing arm.

Like I said, she’s still flat—we may see her quirks here, but she doesn’t change at all over the course of the episode and we already knew she was a proud warrior Gem with a stubborn streak—but it works. It’s weird to use “flat” as a compliment, but I do mean it as such. She isn’t the real villain here, and “defeating” her feels more like failure than victory: Mindful Education hammers home that this is the third enemy Gem in a row that Steven couldn’t help, no matter how hard he tried.

While Bubbled feels pretty slow, it helps that the whole thing is beautiful to look at. The opening shot of Steven tumbling through space from his own point of view gets us right into the game, and the loneliness and sheer terror of his situation is highlighted with gorgeous, silent shots of space. Steven is processing a huge shift in perspective, and the setting reflects the magnitude of his new reality.

And then, to add an auditory counterpart to the visual story, his rescue is punctuated by Rebecca Sugar finally finishing Love Like You.

The song has played over the closing credits since the beginning of the series, using a variety of instruments before the lyrics trickled in. An acoustic version accompanies the end of Ocean Gem, as Steven celebrates with the humans and the Gems discuss what Lapis’s escape means for the future. A haunting reprise, unrecognizable at first while Steven struggles to find himself, joins the end credits for Act III. And wouldn’t you know, it’s a song about insecurity.

When I first heard Love Like You, and for years after, I was convinced that it was sung by Rose. Rebecca Sugar herself said that it wasn’t written with a particular character in mind, but nope, for me it was definitely about Rose. She’s singing to Greg about how she wants to capable of loving the way humans can, and Steven is the result of the conversation. And I still think that reading stands, and that it matters, but songs can be about more than one thing.

This is the third of four songs that encapsulate the two big lessons I take from Steven Universe. Strong in the Real Way reconstructs the notion of what true strength is, and alongside Stronger Than You, we’re told that what matters most is doing the right thing and being a good person, even when it’s hard, and that healthy relationships (romantic, familial, platonic, whatever) help make this possible.

Love Like You and our fourth big song, Change Your Mind, similarly work as a duo: where the Strong Songs are about the importance of relationships to emotional strength, Love Like You and Change Your Mind address how we as individuals can be strong in the real way. It’s important to have healthy relationships, but it’s also important to love yourself, and Love Like You is about that second part: the most loving network in the world can’t fix your insecurity if you’re unable to see yourself the way your loved ones do.

As Love Like You plays in the background, with the first non-diegetic lyrics we’ve heard in the series, Steven is finally told the truth. Garnet is right that Steven’s mother would have done anything for Earth, and while the details of her misdeeds are hazy at this point, the result is the same. Steven can no longer look to his mother as a paragon of virtue, and even though the Crystal Gems love him, they can’t fix this new problem, especially if their secrecy is part of the problem. They think the world of Steven, and now it’s up to him to see that he can do about anything. He could even learn how to love.

Future Vision!

Eyeball knows Rose Quartz not by her shield, but her sword. And we know Eyeball witnessed the “shattering” of Pink Diamond. And we know that Rose’s sword was built to not harm a Gem’s gem. Hints abound.

The chase around the bubble ends because Steven stops and wonders aloud what would happen if his gem was taken. It’s the first time the subject is broached on the show. It isn’t the last.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Bubbled touches on major themes of the series, but in a bubble on its own, the glacial pace hinders the storytelling. This is a great finale, but it’s not that great of a solitary episode. I like it fine, there are a lot of great things about it (the art in particular), but I don’t rank this one very high by itself.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Catch and Release

Chille Tid

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

No Thanks!

5. Horror Club 4. Fusion Cuisine 3. House Guest 2. Sadie’s Song 1. Island Adventure

#bubbled #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

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tonystarkbingo · 5 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, May Parker (Spider-Man) Additional Tags: Dark Tony Stark, Demon Tony Stark, Young Peter Parker, Tony Stark Bingo 2019 Series: Part 2 of Tony Stark Bingo 2019 Summary:

Peter starts to hear whispers from his closet, he is intrigued. Turns out destiny has a play for him.

R4 - dark fic

#tonystarkbingo2019 #tonystarkbingo #bingo fill #cvdmus #tony & peter #implied future starker

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readyaiminquire · 4 years

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Rehabilitating cyberpunk: Altered Carbon, past critiques, and a call to nature.

Note: Some spoilers head.

There is no need to fear or hope, but only to look for new weapons.

Gilles Deleuze

We’ve seen a re-emergence of cyberpunk over the past few years. From the sequel to Blade Runner, Blade Runner 2049, to the upcoming videogame Cyberpunk 2077, the genre appears to be making a come-back. What might cause a genre like Cyberpunk, distinguished by its cassette-futurist aesthetic, its grittiness, and overall negative view of the future, to re-emerge? While it reached its zenith in the 90s, it largely faded from popular view throughout the 2000s. It is important here to distinguish between the ‘original’ cyberpunk genre, a deeply ambitious project to produce societal and cultural change, and the cyberpunk aesthetics we see today. As someone extremely interested in these ideas and imaginations of the future, cyberpunk is infinitely fascinating, and though I revel in its new popularity, I couldn’t help but notice a strong thematic shift away from cyberpunk’s original ambitions and towards a much more vapid and generalised aesthetic. Most recently I found myself puzzled by Netflix’s adaptation of Altered Carbon. Season one seemingly had everything and remained largely true to its genre’s root. This all changed with season two, by bringing out an undercurrent that had been present throughout the first season without being made a central plot point: that of technologically induced immortality, and humanity’s ‘natural’ state of existence. In this post, I want to look at this thematic shift in the genre, and its implication to the wider cyberpunk project. I also want to consider the implications of ‘declawing’ a subversive genre as it re-emerges a mere simulacrum of itself. This is by no means unique to cyberpunk as a genre, but I wish to use it here a more general example, with the show Altered Carbon more specifically as a case study. It is time to investigate how a subversive genre is culturally rehabilitated.

As a genre, cyberpunk has its roots in the 1980s and can be said to have been a reaction against the corporate aesthetics of the 1980s and 1990s. It arose as a form of cultural critique against the global-unity-through-consumerism-narrative that gained traction around this time and took off after the fall of the USSR in 1991. William Gibson’s 1984 novel Neuromancer is widely credited with solidifying the themes, tropes, and aesthetics of cyberpunk, though it is by no means the first cyberpunk work created; Ridley Scott’s 1982 Blade Runner comes to mind. Some cultural theorists have argued that the most important aspect of the genre, and why it gained such a large and diverse following, stems from it being set in the future. Typically, historical novels critique contemporary society through the lens of the past, whereas cyberpunk imagined a future through which it critiqued the present. Cyberpunk was thus unfettered by needing to be framed in the past allowing it to simultaneously appear hopeless and dystopian, while offering hope for the future – as what it portrayed could still be chaged.

Though I can’t give a complete and detailed rundown here (this video does a good job of that already) it was cyberpunk’s flexibility to be a type of roadmap for the future, that both broke down barriers and allowed a contextualisation of the present that made it both an ambitious and powerful project. French philosopher Gilles Deleuze once wrote of technology, that “there is no need to fear or hope, but only to look for new weapons”, that technology was neither an oppressive or liberating force, but simply a force of change. What we needed was to look for new ways to operate within a social, cultural, economic, or political framing changed by further technological development. As a result, cyberpunk authors, artists, and scholars often looked to break down barriers, in a double sense: through interdisciplinary and shared work, but also in the work itself. Such a breaking down of barriers is exemplary in the image of the cyborg. The cybernetically enhanced human – part human, part machine – became a powerful image for how we can consider ourselves, and played with the very concept of the ‘human’ as a specific thing. As anthropologist Aaron Parkhurst points out, there’s a deeply ingrained idea that the body is a sacred entity in itself, and as a result, joining the body with anything external (e.g. digital technology) corrupts it; makes it ‘unnatural’. This distinction is fickle, of course, and is fundamentally challenged by the image of the cyborg. As Donna Haraway argues in her seminal work A Cyborg Manifesto, that our sense of belonging and affinity ought to come not from sameness, but through differences.

People already suggested I watch Netflix’s Altered Carbon while researching my master’s dissertation, as it appeared very relevant to the research I was, and still am, interested in. As a disclaimer, what I cover here is the Netflix adaptation of Altered Carbon, I have not read the novel published in 2002, so I, therefore, can’t comment on that. The discrepancies in the show are most evident in Season 2, but first, we must understand the central technology in this universe: the ‘stack’. Stacks are disks inserted into your neck shortly after birth, and stores your consciousness. Through the stacks, humanity has invented its own immortality. Despite such technological developments, however, all’s not well in the world. As this is cyberpunk, corporate greed, corruption, and social strife are all widespread. This brings us to the rebellion. Led by Quellcrist Falconer, this revolutionary gang is not so much against the aforementioned social strife and hardship, but instead seek to undo the stacks, to undo immortality.

This is exemplary of the thematic and tonal shift that has, for lack of better words, rehabilitated cyberpunk as a genre. Falconer’s reasoning, condensed, goes thusly: the stacks were invented for good, the world, as it is right now, is not good, in fact, it appears to have gotten worse and multiplied human suffering across several lifetimes. It is the stacks that are the problem, or: it is humanity’s foray into the ‘unnatural’ state of technology-induced immortality that is at fault. We have, in a nutshell, our unnatural state of being to blame for the strife, and must, therefore, seek to return to nature in order to again find an acceptable balance. This ignores one key issue, however: the social structures that were present before the stacks have themselves been amplified by the technology. From Falconer’s perspective, what she wants to return to is not a time when there was no suffering, but rather to a time where she was ignorant of it.

Seen from this perspective, Falconer’s revolutionary project is a remarkably conservative one, though I’m not sure this was at all intended. But more nefariously, by pointing to humanity’s foray into a state of unnaturalness as the focal point of all the badness in the universe, it implies that the structures present prior to its invention are themselves in balance with this imagined state of nature. In other words, the social hierarchies, economic injustices, and political repression are painted as being natural. Through this naturalness they are implied to be if not something good, merely something morally acceptable. The themes that cyberpunk set out to critique has folded back on themselves, and it suddenly defends what it once criticised and rejects what it once embraced.

Mark Fisher, in his book Capitalist Realism, argues that neo-liberal capitalism’s apparent longevity, despite its tendency towards economic crisis and social strife, is rooted in its ability to repurpose critique against the system, incorporate the critique on face-value, and by extension ‘declawing’ it. It is worth noting that this is not uique to the cyberpunk genre, as Fisher writes that most, if not all, cultural modes are often repurposed in this way. By producing pop-culture that appears to be critiquing the system as we consume it like a commodity – participating in the system – we buy not only entertainment but more specifically we consume moral relief. The paradox, thus, is that by partaking in the system we wish to critique we trick ourselves into feeling as if we have critiqued the system, leading to a sense of empty fulfilment. My favourite raccoon-turned-philosopher Slavoj Žižek puts this in even starker terms, with Starbucks. By paying more for a cup of coffee, but being told that part of the excess we’re spending goes towards fair trade coffee we are not simply buying the coffee, but we’re buying moral relief.

In this sense, resistance itself becomes central to the system, ironically because there are always new (and pre-packaged) battled to be waging. How would this relate to technology? And more specifically: technology today? The rise of modern cyberculture is itself rooted in the countercultural movement of the 1960s and 70s, and our collective ideas of technological progress hinge in ideas that technology must fundamentally be liberating, a remarkably subversive ideal. We’re getting more and more used to living in a world where the likes of Facebook, Google, or other major corporations carry out data breaches, leak data, lose data, sell data, try to influence our lives, politics, and so on. How our lived realities function is changing. Thus, reinventing a genre subversive to its core (and why a genre needed to be re-invented rather than something new emerging entirely is another interesting discussion, relating to Mark Fisher’s ideas of cultural hauntology. I’ve written something, but not completely related to this here), but shifting the focus away from the socioeconomic system and debate of technology vs. nature fulfils both the need for resistance but also serves to declaw the potential such resistance may have altogether. In the end, Altered Carbon sends a message that it’s not the political system in which they exist that is the problem, but rather technology; and even then it is not that we are going to be convinced to stop using Facebook any time soon.

Selected references

FISHER, M. 2009. Capitalism Realism: Is there no alternative? London: Zero Books.

TURNER, F. 2008. From Counterculture to Cyberculture: Stewart Brand, the Whole Earth Network, and the rise of digital utopianism. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

DELEUZE, G. 1992. Postscript on the Societies of Control. October 59, 3–7.

HARAWAY, D. 2014. Anthropocene, Capitalocene, Chthulucene: Staying with the Trouble. Anthropocene: Arts of Living on a Damaged Planet (Presentation).

ŽIŽEK, S 2012 A Pervert’s Guide to Ideology (transcript/subtitles).

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marcuserrico · 7 years

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'Logan': How the Blockbuster Wolverine Film Matches Up With Marvel's Classic Comic Book (Spoilers!)

Hugh Jackman in ‘Logan’ (Photo: 20th Century Fox)

Wolverine continues to flex his considerable muscles at the box office, with Hugh Jackman’s X-Men swan song Logan already closing in on $300 million in global ticket sales in less than a week.

As Marvel fans undoubtedly know, the film is very loosely based on Old Man Logan, an eight-issue 2008 miniseries by writer Mark Millar and artist Steven McNiven.

(Image: Marvel)

The film distills the Old Man Logan story to its essence: Logan, long retired from crimefighting in a dystopian future bereft of fellow superheroes, embarks on a hazardous road trip with an old friend — a journey of self-discovery in which tragedy spurs a renewed sense of purpose. Framed as a postmodern Western, the hyperviolent comic plays with the ideas of family, heroism, justice, and redemption.

The critically lauded R-rated film is much starker and leaner than the comic. “Clearly we drew a lot of inspiration, not only from Old Man Logan, but other sources,” director James Mangold told Moviefone.com. “I think the idea that I wanted to explore further was the idea of being in kind of twilight, of being over it, of losing faith,” he said, noting he relied on Millar and McNiven’s work for “a sense of place and setting.”

Here’s a look at how Logan converged with — and diverged from — the Marvel source material. (Beware, spoilers ahead!)

The Premise

The comic takes place in an alternate universe, in a future where nearly every superhero has been slain. Logan is a broken man, eking out life as a California farmer with his wife and two young children, with no desire to relive his X-Men gory days. But he struggles to support his family and keep up payments to his landlords — the Hulk Gang, the unhinged offspring from an incestuous liaison of Hulk and She-Hulk. So when now-blind Hawkeye shows up and offers to pay big bucks, the strapped Logan reluctantly agrees to accompany the former Avenger on a cross-country trip through hostile territory to deliver a mysterious package to the city of “New Babylon” (the former Washington, D.C.).

(Image: Marvel)

In the film, the retired Logan (Jackman) works as a chauffeur to earn money to support himself and the lone surviving mutants, a dementia-addled Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and Caliban (Stephen Merchant), who helps Wolverine care for the professor. Wolverine and Xavier embark on their road trip to deliver Logan’s clone-daughter Laura (Dafne Keen) to a safe zone near the Canadian border.

The Death of Superheroes

The book is set in the aftermath of a superhero holocaust: Led by Red Skull, the entire roster of Marvel supervillains decide to team up and murder their archenemies. Wolverine, under the sway of Spider-Man’s mind-twisting rogue Mysterio, believes his fellow X-Men are bad guys invading Professor X’s school, and he winds up slashing them all to bits before he comprehends what he has done. This drives him to suicide, but due to his uncanny healing factor, he can’t kill himself. He ultimately goes off the grid and settles down, but remains haunted by his actions and vows never to use his powers again, keeping his claws sheathed for decades.

(Image: Marvel)

In Logan, Xavier refers to an “incident in Westchester” in which it’s implied that the mutant mentor, suffering from dementia, unwittingly killed his students (one of the villains notes Xavier’s brain has been classified a “weapon of mass destruction”) and triggered a backlash against the X-folk. Meanwhile, there is a black-ops team that has been hunting down the surviving mutants and harvesting their DNA for experiments.

The Villains

As Logan and Hawkeye tool across the States, we discover that the country has been carved up into different dominions by various villains, including Red Skull ruling Washington, D.C., Doctor Doom dominating a slice of the Midwest, the Kingpin lording over the Rocky Mountain states (after defeating Magneto), and the twisted Hulk family controlling California. Various other baddies pursue the duo at various points in their journey.

Logan strips away all the larger-than-life foes; instead, the trio of Wolverine, Charles, Laura find themselves chased by the mutant-hunting minions of Dr. Zander Rice (Richard E. Grant), the man attempting to create his own army of genetically modified metahuman weapons, led by the fearsome X-24, a savage clone of Wolverine (also played by Jackman).

The Delivery

In the comic, we finally learn that Hawkeye’s top-secret package contains vials of super-soldier serum, which he believes will be used to create a new team of Avengers to fight back against the oppressive regime of Red Skull and pals. But Hawkeye has been set up; he and Wolverine walk into a trap and are gunned down by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents working for the government.

(Poster: 20th Century Fox)

In Logan, Wolverine manages to reunite Laura and her fellow young mutants, who escaped Price’s clutches to a redoubt near the Canadian border.

The Turning Point

In the comic, after Logan and Hawkeye are riddled with bullets, they’re body-bagged and dragged into Red Skull’s trophy room (which contains prized artifacts of other slain heroes). Logan’s healing ability kicks in, and he’s finally roused to action, decapitating Red Skull with Cap’s shield. He dons Iron Man’s armor and flies back to California, where he discovers his family had been killed by the Hulk Gang. That pushes him over the edge and he finally unleashes his claws and seeks revenge.

(Image: Marvel)

In Logan, following the murder of Xavier and an innocent family by X-24, Wolverine realizes Laura and the new mutants are being tracked by his clone self. He injects himself with a dose of Rice’s secret sauce that briefly amps up his power, and he goes full berserker to save his daughter and her friends.

The Ending

After eviscerating the younger members of the Hulk Gang, Old Man Logan goes after the big green guy, a vicious monster in this alternate universe. After an epic battle, Hulk swallows Wolverine whole, believing he has won. After a beat, Logan slashes his way out of Hulk’s stomach, kidnaps the infant Bruce Banner Jr., and literally rides off into the sunset, ready to hunt down the rest of supervillains.

The film, meanwhile, sees Logan defeat X-24 with the help of Laura. Our hero, however, has been impaled on a tree and, having effectively OD’d on the mutant juice, is unable to heal himself. He dies, leaving Laura and her friends poised to become the next group of X-Men.

Watch: Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart Break Down ‘Logan’ Spoilers:

yahoo

Related stories:

Meet X-23: A Primer on Secret Weapon in ‘Logan’

Let’s Talk About That Final Scene in ‘Logan’ (Spoilers)

Four Ways Wolverine Could Return After ‘Logan’

#features #wolverine #movie:logan #_revsp:wp.yahoo.movies.us #_author:Marcus Errico #marvel comics #hugh jackman #_uuid:0807f314-c9d0-366e-9a9b-215cbf5e8da6 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000AE7lXEAT

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catsynth-express · 5 years

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Post-Election Thoughts and Getting Back to Normal Life

We at CatSynth are political nerds/enthusiasts, and also believe in civic participation for the greater good. So elections are always an exciting time. Yesterday was no exception as we transitioned from our daily routine to preparing to host friends to watch the returns. There was an electricity in the air that went beyond our unseasonably warm weather. I took a brief break to rest and meditate before jumping in to watching coverage and interacting on Twitter. So did Sam Sam.

In the end, it was like a normal election. Some important things went very well – like the takeover of the House. Some things didn’t. The Senate results imply more trouble for the judiciary, often the most important thing. A few results were heartbreaking, like Beto O’Rourke losing in a close race to the exceptionally odious Ted Cruz in Texas, but I took solace in some other defaults, notably almost as odious Scott Walker, Kris Kobach, Dana Rohrabacher (from Orange County here in California). I even take a bit of perverse pleasure in watching the infamous Kim Davis go down to defeat. My home state of New York seems as dysfunctional as ever, but perhaps with a better chance to clean things up than they have had in a while.

The day after, one reflects on the mix of results and moves on with life. It’s another exceptionally warm, sunny day for November in San Francisco, and I’m eager to get back to cats, synthesizers, music, and art. It’s a far cry from the day after the 2016 election when it truly felt like it could have been our last. I was working in an office on Market Street, with US flags fluttering on tops and sides of many buildings – it was tragic, heartbreaking, fearful, by far the worst I had experienced in my lifetime. And it was just days after Luna left us, so the experience was even darker and devoid the comfort of my beloved cat. This time I woke up much happier, as there was more good news awaiting than when I went to bed the previous night. And Sam Sam was there to jump on the bed and remind me that it was time to get up and feed her. There is much unfinished business on all fronts, but that’s ok. Overall, it feels a bit more hopeful, a bit more optimistic.

Before we move back to our regularly scheduled topics, a few quick thoughts…

Close to home, I was happy to see that San Francisco’s Prop E – funding for arts – passed. This is great news for organizations that I am involved with, whether as a board member, artist, audience member, or reviewer.

The people of Massachusetts affirmed the rights of trans people and other gender minorities in a ballot proposition. It’s great to see support at the ballot box, but it should have never been there in the first place. California’s Prop 8 (2008) may seem like ancient history, but the memory is still pretty raw…

If anything, the rural/metropolitan-area divide seems starker than ever. We at CatSynth are city creatures, but also love many aspects of rural America, and it’s sad to see that division get even worse. That’s one I would like to write more about, but with a little distance from political events.

Another is the continued push-and-shove around “nationalism”. For me, it’s an unequivocally dirty word, and it’s frustrating to see centrists offering bromides to nationalism even as its most sinister aspects are ascendant at home and around the world. I still believe in cosmopolitanism and the idea of an “anti-nation”. But this is another topic that requires careful thought for a future article.

Post-Election Thoughts and Getting Back to Normal Life was originally published on CatSynth

#congressional elections #elections #News #Personal #catsynth

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verycleverboy · 5 years

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Last night (this morning)

Democrats seized the House majority from President Donald Trump’s Republican Party on Tuesday in a suburban revolt that threatened what’s left of the president’s governing agenda. But the GOP gained ground in the Senate and preserved key governorships, beating back a “blue wave” that never fully materialized.

The mixed verdict in the first nationwide election of Trump’s young presidency underscored the limits of his hardline immigration rhetoric in America’s evolving political landscape, where college-educated voters in the nation’s suburbs rejected his warnings of a migrant “invasion.”

Blue-collar voters and rural America embraced his aggressive talk and stances. The new Democratic House majority will end the Republican Party’s dominance in Washington for the final two years of Trump’s first term with major questions looming about health care, immigration and government spending.

Let’s be clear about this. On the whole, we got the night for Democrats that was predicted, even if it wasn’t the Night of the Blue Tsunami.

If you wanted a Democrat-controlled House of Representatives with the ability to pump the brakes on Trump’s worst excesses and hold his feet to the fire over violations of the law, you got what you were looking for.

There’s going to be a record number of women in that body, and the first Muslim women and the first Native American women elected to Congress made it in last night.

Also, at the state level the majority of Americans are going to have a Democratic governor. Wisconsin’s notorious union buster Scott Walker has been bounced out, and in a suitable piece of irony, a law he put into place after the 2016 election guarantees that he’s not allowed to ask for a recount.

If your politics are true blue, these are all good things. So last night lit a candle of optimism.

But if you were looking for a decisive, unambiguous rebuke of the soul-rotting ugliness of the past two years, the results were a mixed bag at best. As the “suburban revolt” tag implies, you most certainly did not get anything even remotely resembling a healing of the national divide. Civility will continue to take a beating for the foreseeable future.

If anything, the dividing lines became a little bit starker, and if you view yourself a moderate Republican, it must’ve felt like your national party slipped away from you just a little bit more. A number of GOP seats that the Dems picked off last night to regain the House were moderates, which means that one of the possible take-aways for Republicans is “go Trump-ugly or go home”. And that means that racially-charged boogeyman politics aren’t going anywhere.

Barring an abrupt change of course, the road to 2020 is most likely going to be somewhere between “deeply unpleasant” and “bare knuckle brawl”. The Big Dummy is already making open threats against the new House majority, which tells me that if there was a lesson to be learned in the House flipping, he stubbornly refused to learn it.

But some men need more than one lesson, and there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s going to get more than one lesson. What he does with it--or, more likely, fails to do with it--is entirely on him. But watch him try to blame somebody else anyway.

#donald trump #2018 elections

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hsews · 6 years

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Posted August 02, 2018 07:00:45

Picture: Jill Stark hopes that by sharing her personal expertise of psychological sickness she’ll assist others really feel much less “irregular”. (ABC RN: Anna Kelsey-Sugg)

4 years in the past, after her e book about her 12 months with out alcohol turned a bestseller, Jill Stark ought to have been ‘feeling blessed’ (because the hashtag goes).

As an alternative the journalist was riddled with anxiousness.

Then, in the future, she discovered herself mendacity on the ground of The Age’s newsroom, having a violent panic assault.

“This was meant to be me at my pinnacle and but I used to be utterly falling aside,” she says.

She’d struggled with anxiousness her entire life, however this stage of panic was one thing new.

Certainly one of her greatest associates, a reporter, was additionally there within the newsroom.

“He was identical to, ‘Jesus, Starkers, what is going on on?'” she remembers.

However she did not know.

“It was very confronting,” she says.

She started to review what was “beneath” that anxiousness, and discovered that striving for an ideal, Instagrammable life was partly accountable.

She additionally discovered she might flip issues round.

A nasty inside voice in an airbrushed world

For Stark, anxiousness is an irrational worry; she perceives threats the place they do not exist.

“You simply need to run from your individual mind, from your individual physique,” she says.

“Your coronary heart’s beating actually quick, your palms are sweating, your mouth is dry, your mind is racing at 1,000,000 miles an hour.”

Her anxiousness additionally manifests in an inside voice.

We nearly all have one in all these — reminding us to herald the washing, remarking on meal or questioning the hat alternative of somebody strolling previous.

However Stark’s inside dialogue is way more damaging. It always places her down, telling her she’s “irregular and faulty”.

“I describe [my inner critic] as a cross between Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Regina George from Imply Women,” she says.

Exterior Hyperlink:

Jill Stark says her inside critic is like Regina George from Imply Women

Having a nasty interior voice is not unique to Stark; she says loads of individuals have been in contact together with her to say they’ve one, too.

So why aren’t extra individuals speaking about it?

“It is a common wrestle that all of us have, however as a result of we stay on this very airbrushed world, the place we do not see this facet of ourselves, all of us assume that we’re irregular,” she says.

“We stay on this tradition the place… you are meant to be joyful on a regular basis.”

She says younger digital natives, like her 10 and 13-year-old nieces, are amongst these most inclined to this message.

“Once they go to social media there’s the fixed social comparability the place everyone seems to be #livingtheirbliss or #feelingblessed, and everyone seems to be airbrushed to inside an inch of their lives,” she says.

It is one thing she dubs the “fairytale filter”.

“We’re all dwelling a Truman-style present of our personal lives the place the phrases are scripted, and the set is paper skinny and will fall down in a slight breeze, however all of us play alongside for worry of breaking the spell,” she says.

“I’ve accomplished that myself. I’ve accomplished it after I’ve been actually unwell.

“I’ve sat on a seaside and obtained my associates to take an image of me, which I’ve placed on Instagram saying ‘#blessed’ — when actually I used to be dying inside.

“What are we doing with that? Why cannot we be extra trustworthy about how we’re feeling?”

She has written about her psychological sickness, and its causes and coverings, in Completely satisfied By no means After, Why the Happiness Fairytale is Driving us Mad (and How I Flipped the Script).

Happiness ‘not our default place’

Stark desires to infiltrate our “quick-fix society” with the message that emotions of unhappiness are neither irregular nor indicators of weak point.

“I in no means profess to be an skilled. I am not a psychotherapist, I am not a health care provider,” she says.

“I am a human who has struggled, as all of us do, and what I’ve found is that it is attainable to wrestle and nonetheless be sturdy.

She says it has been fairly liberating to understand that she’s most likely going to wrestle for the remainder of her life, and it doesn’t suggest she’s going to be depressing.

“It signifies that I settle for there are occasions when I will be sad, annoyed and disillusioned, and to attempt to push that away is simply not human,” Stark says.

She says we have to right our misperception of happiness as a pinnacle to try for.

“The human situation is advanced and the concept that we ought to be #livingourbliss 24/7 is absolutely what drives a whole lot of our struggling,” she says.

“A lot of it’s about our tradition’s give attention to the exterior and on the top level, reasonably than the journey, which is a cliché, nevertheless it’s a cliché as a result of it is true.

“The best way we plan for a marriage not the wedding, we plan for the beginning not the newborn, we plan for getting the house not servicing the mortgage — it is all about this finish level after which we get there and we discover that we’re nonetheless unfulfilled.”

The place anxiousness originates

In her e book, Stark explores mind neuroplasticity science, which appears on the skill of the mind to vary — and suggests it is by no means too late to work on the psychological issues we’d stay with.

“We all know that we are able to change our mind. These neural pathways could be modified by repetition, by remedy,” Stark says.

She says she’s “coaching” herself to not be floored by her anxiousness.

For those who or anybody you realize wants assist:

“My physique has discovered over a few years of hysteria to see threats in conditions that do not actually exist. My problem is to let these emotions be there and never connect significance to them,” she says.

“Once I really feel the panic in my physique [the aim is] to calm myself; to go, oh, I recognise that feeling, it may possibly’t damage me. It’s disagreeable, however it may possibly’t damage me.

“The extra that you just do this the extra that your mind begins to study that there’s not a tiger on the door, you are going to be OK.”

If we had been to hint the supply of hysteria, Stark says we’d study many anxious ideas kind very early in life, within the first three years of dwelling.

She’s a proponent of attachment theories that relate anxious emotions in maturity to unconscious emotions of parental attachment or non-attachment skilled as a baby.

“It is a complete space of psychotherapy that I feel is completely fascinating,” she says.

Stark says rising up her mother and father had been very loving, however a sick brother meant a whole lot of their consideration was centered elsewhere.

On reflection, she realised she was considerably uncared for.

“This was one thing that was utterly unconscious to me. In remedy I used to be in a position to get beneath that,” she says.

“So when I’ve a battle with a pal or a boss overlooks me for a bit of labor, there’s part of me that is feeling the neglect that small little one felt.”

Phrases like ‘interior little one’ can entice scepticism, together with, as soon as upon a time, from Stark herself.

“For those who’d advised me 4 years in the past that the best way out of this hell was to get in contact with my interior little one, I might’ve mentioned ‘I feel not’,” she says.

“However actually, the science is there. The science of neuroplasticity, of attachment. It is there.”

So is the prospect of a extra fulfilled life past the fairy story.

“If we actually obtained beneath what was driving a whole lot of our unconscious points we might be in a way more calm and linked world,” Stark says.

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ugcnetjrfenglishexamcoaching · 6 years

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English Literature Study Material, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Chapters 2–3, UGC NET

Global Teachers Academy: 09953762308

Sections 2– 3

Outline: Chapter 2

Huck and Tom tiptoe through the Widow's garden. Huck stumbles on a root as he goes by the kitchen, and Jim, one of Miss Watson's slaves, hears him from inside. Tom and Huck hunker down and endeavor to remain still, yet Huck is struck by a progression of wild tingles, as frequently happens when he is in a circumstance "where it won't improve the situation you to scratch." Jim says so anyone might hear that he will stay put until the point when he finds the wellspring of the sound, however following a few minutes, he nods off. Tom needs to tie Jim up, however the more handy Huck objects, so Tom makes due with basically playing a trap by putting Jim's cap on a tree limb over Jim's head. Tom additionally takes candles from the kitchen, in spite of Huck's protests that they will hazard getting captured.

Huck reveals to us that a while later, Jim tells everybody that a few witches flew him around and put the cap on his head. Jim grows the story further, turning into a nearby big name among the slaves, who appreciate witch stories. Around his neck, Jim wears the five-penny piece Tom left for the candles, calling it a beguile from the fallen angel with the ability to cure infection. Huck notes to some degree snidely that Jim almost turns out to be so "stuck up" from his freshly discovered VIP that he is unfit to be a worker.

Then, Tom and Huck get together with a couple of different young men and take a watercraft to an extensive surrender. There, Tom names his new band of looters "Tom Sawyer's Gang." All must sign a promise in blood, vowing, in addition to other things, to murder the group of any part who uncovers the pack's privileged insights. The young men think it "a genuine delightful promise," and Tom concedes that he got some portion of it from books that he has perused. The young men about preclude Huck since he has no family beside a tipsy father who can never be found, yet Huck mollifies the young men by offering Miss Watson. Tom says the posse must catch and payment individuals, albeit none of the young men recognizes what "recover" implies. Tom accept it intends to keep them hostage until the point when they pass on. Because of one kid's inquiry, Tom tells the gathering that ladies are not to be executed but rather ought to be kept at the den, where the young men's conduct will fascinate the ladies into becoming hopelessly enamored with the young men. When one kid starts to shout out of achiness to visit the family and undermines to confess the gathering's privileged insights, Tom rewards him with five pennies. They consent to meet again sometime in the not so distant future, however not on a Sunday, since that would be impious. Huck makes it home and gets into bed just before day break.

Outline: Chapter 3

In the wake of rebuffing Huck for dirtying his new garments amid his night out with Tom, Miss Watson endeavors to disclose supplication to him. Huck abandons it after a portion of his supplications are not replied. Miss Watson calls him a trick, and the Widow Douglas later clarifies that supplication offers profound endowments, for example, acting magnanimously to help other people. Huck, who can't perceive any favorable position in such endowments, takes steps to overlook the issue. The two ladies frequently approach Huck for religious talks, in which Widow Douglas depicts a brilliant God, while Miss Watson portrays an appalling one. Huck finishes up there are two Gods and chooses he might want to have a place with Widow Douglas's, whether He would take him. Huck considers this far-fetched as a result of his terrible characteristics.

In the mean time, gossip courses that Huck's Pap, who has not been found in multi year, is dead. A cadaver was found in the waterway, thought to be Pap as a result of its "worn out" appearance. The face, be that as it may, was unrecognizable. At in the first place, Huck is diminished. His dad had been a tanked who beat him when he was calm, in spite of the fact that Huck remained avoided him more often than not. After hearing further depiction of the body found, in any case, Huck understands that it isn't his dad but instead a lady wearing men's garments. Huck stresses that his dad will soon return.

Following multi month in Tom's posse, Huck and whatever is left of the young men quit. With no genuine victimizing or executing going on, the pack's presence is inconsequential. Huck recounts one of Tom's more outstanding recreations, in which Tom imagined that a procession of Arabs and Spaniards would camp close-by with several camels and elephants. It ended up being a Sunday-school outing, in spite of the fact that Tom clarified that it truly was a parade of Arabs and Spaniards—just they were captivated, as in Don Quixote. The strike on the excursion got the young men just a couple of doughnuts and stick however a decent measure of inconvenience. In the wake of testing another of Tom's hypotheses by rubbing old lights and rings yet neglecting to summon a genie, Huck judges that the vast majority of Tom's stories have been "lies."

Examination: Chapters 2– 3

These sections set up Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer as foils for each other—characters whose activities and qualities differentiate each other in a way that gives us a superior comprehension of both of their characters. Twain utilizes Tom to caricaturize sentimental writing and to remark on the darker side of supposed edified society. Tom demands that his pretend experiences be led "by the book." As Tom himself concedes as to his posse's promise, he gets a large number of his thoughts from fiction. Specifically, Tom attempts to copy the sentimental—that is, improbable, sensationalized, and sentimentalized—books, generally foreign made from Europe, that accomplished colossal ubiquity in nineteenth-century America. Tom is related to this sentimental sort all through the novel. Though Tom puts incredible stock in artistic models, Huck is as wary of these as he is of religion. In the two domains, Huck declines to acknowledge much on confidence. He rejects the two genies and petitions when they neglect to create the guaranteed comes about. Twain influences this differentiation between Tom's sentimentalism and Huck's distrust to demonstrate that the two perspectives to can demonstrate similarly deceptive if taken to extremes.

Despite the fact that Huck and Tom are set up as foils for each other, regardless they share a few qualities, which help to manage their fellowship all through the novel. Maybe most imperative, the two offer an uncontrollable boyishness; they thoroughly enjoy the grimy dialect and tricks that the grown-up world censures. However Huck's emotions about society and the grown-up world depend on his negative encounters—most outstandingly with his oppressive father—and ring with an earnestness and weight that Tom's likes need. We get the feeling that Tom can stand to acknowledge the gibberish of society and sentimental writing, yet Huck can't. All in all, Huck's distance from the "human advancement" of the grown-up world is somewhat starker and sadder.

Incidentally, the novel that Tom expressly specifies as a model for his activities is Cervantes' Don Quixote. In his gem, Cervantes parodies sentimental experience stories as Twain does in Huckleberry Finn. In referencing Don Quixote, Twain additionally gives an abstract tip of the cap to one of the most punctual and most noteworthy picaresque books, which, through its gullible hero's wacky enterprises, parodies writing, society, and human instinct similarly that Twain does in Huckleberry Finn. By methods for the reference to Don Quixote, Twain discloses to us that, however he plans to compose a comical novel, Huckleberry Finn likewise fits into a longstanding custom of books that look to reprimand through cleverness, to call attention to preposterousness through foolishness. In this part, for example, Twain remarks on Tom's silliness and visually impaired numbness in constructing his activities in light of a novel that is so plainly a parody. Tom, who is keen on contracts, sets of principles, favor dialect, and pretend thoughts, has faith in these frilly thoughts to the detriment of good judgment. He thinks more about crazy complex standards than he does about individuals. Tom additionally shows a portion of the affectation of socialized society. For example, he makes the individuals from his pack sign a vow in blood and swear not to unveil the gathering's privileged insights, but rather when a kid undermines to sell out that guarantee, Tom essentially offers him a pay off.

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newestbalance · 6 years

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How Trump’s Mixed Signals Complicate America’s Role in the World

And by threatening to blow up any deal that does not meet his sometimes inconsistent demands, he may win some concessions at the expense of undermining America’s traditional role as a mediator and convener of negotiations, which Washington has relied on to promote its interests in international forums.

New Narrative About America?

Mr. Trump’s stances on Iran and North Korea appear, at first, difficult to reconcile.

North Korea has barreled ahead with its weapons programs, testing nuclear devices as well as long-range missiles that appear capable of striking major American cities. It has achieved what no country has since China developed its own program a half-century ago: a nuclear deterrent against the United States.

To stall or reverse those gains, Mr. Trump has issued threats and imposed sanctions on North Korea, but for the most part his responses have not been that different from those of previous administrations. His major break with diplomatic orthodoxy was to agree to a direct meeting with North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong-un. The North has long sought such a meeting as a way to portray itself as a peer of the great powers.

Among Korea experts, Mr. Trump’s approach has won the greatest support from left-leaning doves.

Iran, meanwhile, has kept its nuclear program frozen and continues to accept international inspections, according to the international watchdogs and American intelligence officials who have repeatedly said that the country is complying with its obligations under the nuclear deal signed in 2015.

But Mr. Trump has repeatedly threatened Iran and pledged to withdraw from the agreement or impose sanctions that would abrogate American commitments. He has won cheers from hawks on Iran who oppose the deal.

How to square these inconsistencies? Within the United States, the most common explanations draw on Mr. Trump’s personality or on domestic politics. Perhaps he opposes the Iran deal because he was not the one to close it, for instance, but he can support a North Korea deal that would bear his signature.

But foreign states do not have the luxury of shrugging off the American president’s thinking as an inscrutable mystery. They must stitch together a narrative with which to predict future behavior.

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Officials from Iran and six major world powers as they reached a nuclear deal in 2015. Credit Joe Klamar/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images

The clearest narrative may be that the Americans cannot necessarily be trusted to uphold their commitments — Mr. Trump has broken or withdrawn from several other international agreements — but they can be, as Mr. Kim showed, coerced and deterred.

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The nuclear lessons may be starker.

Dismantle or freeze your program on assurances from the United States, and those assurances may be broken. Accelerate your program in open defiance of international agreements, and the American president will offer to meet with you.

The Costs of Unpredictability

Mr. Trump said on the campaign trail that his businesses had succeeded in part because, in negotiations, he had relied on bluffing, threats to walk out and ruthless, zero-sum transactionalism.

He had sometimes refused to fully pay contractors, including those working for his campaign. He sued Deutsche Bank in 2008 to escape $40 million in personal loan guarantees. Confronted with a copy of a tax return suggesting that he had not paid federal income tax in some years, Mr. Trump retorted, “That makes me smart.”

He has he said would apply his approach in business to foreign relations, pledging to extract maximum concessions even from allies. Unpredictability and threats would keep other leaders guessing, forcing them to deliver concessions, he said.

Mr. Trump would not have to look long for countries that have deployed this strategy: Iran and North Korea have pursued more extreme versions for years.

Still, this approach comes with costs. Defense Secretary Jim Mattis said this week of the nuclear agreement with Iran that “it is written almost with an assumption that Iran would try to cheat.”

The deal, though signed by several world powers, including China and Russia, hands considerable discretion to Washington over when and how to punish any Iranian cheating. In this way, it highlights the difference between how the world treats countries it considers unreliable, like Iran, versus those seen as steady and transparent.

Should talks with North Korea lead to a written agreement, no one expects its text to treat the United States with the distrust that the 2015 agreement treated Iran.

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But it is difficult to imagine America’s allies once again investing Washington with the authority they handed it over Iran.

Mr. Trump is asking Washington’s Asian allies to follow his lead on North Korea just as he is defying European allies who are pushing him to stay in the Iran deal. China, which is also a party to the Iran deal, is likely to play a major role in shaping any agreement with North Korea.

Trump administration statements in support of the president’s stance on the Iran deal risk further undermining American efforts with North Korea.

Brian Hook, the State Department policy planning director, told NPR this week that the 2015 agreement signed by Iran and the world powers is “a political commitment by an administration that’s no longer in office.”

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The North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and President Moon Jae-in of South Korea on Friday. The two leaders agreed to work toward the denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula, but President Trump plans to play a role, too. Credit Korea Summit Press

The notion that American commitments made by one administration do not constrain those that follow it implies that any deal Mr. Trump signs with North Korea is good for only three years if he serves one term, seven years if he wins re-election.

Physical constraints on Iran’s nuclear program, by contrast, last for a minimum of 15 years, which critics like Mr. Trump had deemed woefully insufficient.

Leader or Spoiler?

There is a reason that the United States has long sought the role of mediator or overseer whenever there is an international crisis, even under a unilateral-minded president like George W. Bush, who convened six-nation talks over North Korea’s nuclear arms program.

The idea was that the United States would forge a consensus among allies and great powers, then use that consensus as the starting point of talks with whatever rogue state was troubling it.

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This put the United States at the center of the process, ensuring that it would always have a say. If France or Russia wanted some concession or course correction, it had to go through the Americans to get it.

This state of affairs has required Washington to make frequent compromises to retain the support of other powers for a system anchored to Washington. The United States had to be the rational referee in negotiations, letting other countries issue demands or threaten to walk out.

Increasingly, the United States is the one issuing demands and threatening to blow up negotiations if they do not satisfy Mr. Trump’s terms.

This approach does win concessions. European leaders are offering new constraints on Iran.

But it also gives allies and adversaries incentives to go around the Americans, rather than put them at the center of everything.

Some analysts expect that if Mr. Trump walks away from the Iran deal, the Europeans and Iranians will find some accommodation that excludes him. Washington would lose its leverage over how Iran is held to account.

This week’s inter-Korean summit meeting also hints at declining American influence over negotiations.

The Trump administration has demanded that North Korea “denuclearize” in the sense that the country would immediately and unilaterally surrender its nuclear program. But this week the two Koreas pledged eventual denuclearization of the entire peninsula. Both North and South Korea seem to have ignored Mr. Trump’s demands.

In the meantime, Mr. Trump shows signs of enjoying his power as international spoiler.

Hours before the inter-Korean agreement was released, Mr. Trump wrote on Twitter that he might withdraw American support from any country that “were to lobby against” his bid for the 2026 soccer World Cup tournament.

“Why should we be supporting these countries when they don’t support us,” he asked.

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