Tumgik
#implied kid logan
frazzledsoul · 19 days
Text
The real generational parallel in Gilmore Girls no one wants to point out is that Rory is the new Christopher.
They both supposedly fucked around during their twenties, coasting on family money and the generosity of an old flame (Lorelai, Logan), working temporary jobs but never settling down to anything stable. Rory, like Christopher, claims she's got a gazillion "irons in the fire" but like Christopher, it's all illusory and not leading her anywhere. AYITL era Rory, like Christopher at 32 (when we meet him) prides herself on not being committed to anyone or anything: she's been on and off with Logan for years and seems to be involved in what the kids these days call a long term "situationship" that keeps either of them from fully moving on but also requires no real effort or commitment from her. She has no steady job, no home, no permanent income, slacks or gives up on most of her projects, mooches off of everyone she knows, and shows little desire to change these things. Everyone else in her age group (Logan, Jess, Paris, Lane, Dean) is either professionally or personally successful and has found their direction in life while she flies around in every single direction. Despite the cheating (if that's what it really is: the fact that he's so sloppy about it kind of implies he's got permission to fool around) Logan is fairly stable: yes, he ended up working for his dad but we actually see him working, he seems to get along with Mitchum and doesn't seem particularly unhappy about his lot in life. He also is fairly supportive of Rory and encouraged her to settle down and get a job: after all, that's what he did and his life's not so terrible. She seems to want to know nothing about him or his life. Look at it from Mitchum or Honor's perspective, if they knew all the details: exactly who is holding who back from realizing their potential? Heck, Mitchum pulls strings to get Rory that Conde Nast interview and she shows up expecting to be handed assignments and with no input or ideas of her own. Like Lorelai, Logan has a fairly nice life except for the unreliable old girlfriend who doesn't want to settle down and takes and takes but never gives back. And unlike the affair with Dean, Rory is aware of all the circumstances involved with Logan and chooses to keep fucking him anyway. She has not been lied to or misled in any way or promised a relationship that she wanted but he didn't, nor does she seem to want Logan around full time, either. She seems to like that nothing much is expected of her here and likely chooses to stay because of that.
What finally could hypothetically force Rory to choose a path in life, a home, a steady job? Oh, yeah. The unplanned pregnancy with the ex that she finally decides she doesn't want at all anymore. Jess may have helped provide her with a potential career path and be poised to be a larger part of her life in the future, but none of that is a guarantee and her overall circumstances haven't changed. However, now she's going to be forced to truly be responsible for the first time in a long time. Just like Dad.
81 notes · View notes
peniscat · 1 year
Text
i love it when people start talking about gerri knowing roman as a child. like yeah, and? if you think she has truly given two shits about the roy kids before their frontal lobes matured enough for them to start working for the company, i’m here as your local gerri enthusiast to tell you that you are wrong <3
23 notes · View notes
clowndensation · 1 year
Text
thinking about connor in prague saying "dad's theory was you got two fighting dogs, you send the weak one away, you punish the weak one." in relation to this episode, and the way the siblings view abuse inside their own family.
shiv and kendall and their belief that connor and roman are the weak dogs that got the brunt of logan's worst behavior, because abuse is reserved for the kids who can't behave - the ones who aren't smart and mature enough to make it in the world. abuse evokes pity, because abuse is what happens when you expect too much from people who obviously aren't capable of more.
and then they go forward in life, believing that they're just naturally more intelligent and more capable than connor and roman, as if being raised seeing what happens to you if you aren't a perfect child wasn't the entire point of the "punish the weak dog" mentality that logan instilled in them. the looming threat implied behind any praise they do receive that tacitly tells them "you're not like roman and connor" because everyone knows what happens to roman and connor.
the absolute height of the rich capitalist mindset. "we're succeeding because of our own merit, and other people fail because they don't have what it takes" when in reality they're succeeding because of arbitrary rules made up by someone who knows that infighting makes meaner dogs.
3K notes · View notes
mykneeshurt · 1 year
Text
Ice
Tumblr media
Keegan x AFAB reader
This is what he’s wearing in this … Keegan is underrated in this outfit. @sashadiurnal @taurus-ted I know you love him, and thank you once again to @yeyinde for these perfect clockwork gifs.
Warnings - 18+, minors DNI, p in v, fingering, unprotected sex, implied breath play and choking, praise kink, cream pie
Walking through the snow you tried desperately to keep up with Keegan. The snow nipped at your knees as you waded through the vast landscape. The terrain was as unforgiving as it was beautiful, the moon shone down on you both casting elongated shadows before you. Your lungs burnt from the cold air permeating the tissue deep within your chest. You were running on empty.
It was meant to be a straight forward mission, get in, extract the information and get out. Meant to be being the operative phrase. What went wrong, did go wrong. The guards were alerted early, forcing you to abandon the mission. Hesh, Logan and Merrick got split off from you as you tried to escape, forcing you to pair with Keegan. Not that you minded, you’d be lying if you didn’t admit you’d had a crush on him since day one.
‘Come on kid, gotta keep up’ his husky voice burst through the deafening silence between you. The cold air burnt as you tried to keep your breaths steady, trying to focus on just moving one foot in front of the other. ‘You still with me kid?’
‘Barely’ you shot back, not meaning for it come across as blunt as it did. He turned his head briefly, giving you a once over.
‘I can see something up a head looks like an old building or house. We’ll head there for the night.’ Groaning in agreement you again focused your mind back on your breathing. In and out. Nice and slow. The snow crunched under your boots, hypnotising you as you counted your steps. Anything to distract you from the cold.
Approaching the old structure you breathed a sigh of relief, you weren’t sure what you were looking forward too more. Sitting down or taking your boots off. It was an old run down cottage, the top floor had caved in on itself long ago. Keegan cautiously opened the door, he swept the downstairs area checking for any imminent danger. Once he was satisfied he returned to the living room and threw his backpack on the floor .
The ground floor consisted of a small living room, dilapidated kitchen and bathroom. An old torn sofa was the focus point of the living room, along with an old stone fire place. You walked over to the fire place and stuck your head up the chimney. Lucky for you chimney was still open, meaning you could light a fire. ‘Keegan?’
‘Yeah?’
‘We can light a fire!’ Your voice echoed up the empty chimney.
He joined you at the chimney bending his 6’1 frame to meet yours. ‘Don’t hurt yourself now’ you quipped, a grin on your face. He rolled his eyes ‘hilarious, I’ll go look out back see if there’s any wood.’ Nodding you went and sat on the sofa removing your boots. Stretching your cramped feet a moan of ecstasy escaped your lips.
Keegan returned empty handed, ‘no luck?’ You asked as you massaged your aching feet. ‘Nothing. But that might do’ he said nodding his head towards an old table. He walked over to it and flipped it upside down, gripping the leg he pulled it clean off. Now while the table was likely rotten he still made it look effortless. He grunted softly as he yanked off the remaining three legs. You watched in awe, thinking about how his strong hands would feel around your throat.
You didn’t realise how zoned out you were till Keegan was stood in front of you, hand out stretched. ‘Lighter?’ Plummeting back to reality you shook the depraved thoughts from your mind. As you handed it to him the tips of your fingers grazed the palm of his hand. He held his hand there a little longer than usual as your eyes met. He watched as your mouth opened slightly, a shaky featherlight breath danced along your lips.
‘Thanks.’
He hovered by the fire place as he tried to set some old cloth alight. Eventually he managed to get a decent size fire going, ‘finally’ he huffed. He stood there warming his hands against the flames. You stood next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder ‘thank fuck, good job sir.’ He felt his heart flutter at the praise, you’d praised him before, but not like this. Not in these circumstances.
Sitting on the floor your stretched out your legs, removing your jacket so you were just in your base layer. Keegan sat next you and did the same, as he removed his jacket he glanced over at you. He took in the shape of your body as the orange glow of the fire enveloped you. How your shadow flickered against the stone wall of the cottage, accentuating the shape of your breasts and neck. He could feel his self control faltering.
‘What’s the plan?’ You asked innocently looking over to meet his gaze once more. ‘Rest for the night, see if we can get out of this comms black out zone …’ he looked around nervously. ‘What?’ You asked, eyebrows raised. ‘We’ll have to share the sofa.’
‘For warmth?’
‘For warmth.’
You felt your heart rate pick up, butterflies now making themselves known in the pits of your stomach. The flutter of their wings transcended from your stomach to your cunt, causing you to clench against the seam of your trousers. ‘Ok’ you breathed heavily, trying to keep some composure about you. He’d ditched his jacket, his thick muscles pushed against the fabric of his undershirt. Without his jacket on you could see his sculpted body teasing you from beneath his clothes. ‘You want the inside or the outside?’
‘Of what?’ Your mind too distracted to think straight. ‘The sofa.’
Oh.
‘Inside, I like to be near something solid when I sleep.’ He nodded.
‘Found some old blankets we can use. Might smell, but it’ll do.’ You smiled and nodded at your Sargent.
Yawning you made your way to the sofa, feeling on edge, were you excited? Excited at the prospect of what could happen? Surely not. He’s your superior, a friend. Was this a line you wanted to cross? You felt giddy with questions.
Facing the back of the sofa you felt it dip behind you as Keegan slid in next to you. ‘Is this ok? I know it’s not ideal.’ You could feel his warmth seep through your clothes as he relaxed into you. ‘Yeah’ you whispered, your mouth suddenly becoming dry. As he settled down next to you, the only sound that could be heard was the crackle of the fire. His breath tickled the baby hairs at the nape of your neck.
The oxygen in your lungs felt heavy, you could feel your panties becoming wet from the mere thought of him touching you. You stared wide eyed at the worn patterned fabric in front of you. Begging yourself to fall asleep, but you couldn’t shut off your mind. ‘Can I just …’ Keegan shifted behind you, sliding his arm under your neck. Settling back onto his arm you could feel his muscles tense against your skin.
You counted your breaths as you tried to steady your heart, it was now or never.
Trying to disguise it as just moving you arched your back, pushing your ass into him. You felt his arm tense under you as you heard his breath hitch in his chest. Keegan bit his lip trying desperately to compose himself, you were his subordinate. This was wrong. But he wanted it, he wanted you.
‘Kid?’ His pet name for you brushed over you in a wave of pure excitement. ‘Keegan.’ He laid his free hand on your hip, drawing small circles. Tracing the texture of your skin under the pad of his thumb. Closing your eyes you swallowed, hard. You arched your back again. This time Keegan squeezed your hip pulling you in closer to him.
You turned your head slowly as you looked up at him through your lashes. His ice blue eyes bore down into your own as his grip tightened. You dropped your gaze to his lips, his perfect rosey pink lips. Your chest felt heavy with want as you hovered just above his lips. Breath fanned over each others lips, silently daring each other to make the first move. Keegan flitted his eyes from your own to your lips, his mouth gently brushed yours as he moved his hand from your hip to your jaw. He brushed your jaw with his thumb urging you to give in.
You whispered his name into his lips as you pressed yours against them. All the tension fell from your body as you relaxed into the kiss. It was cautious at first, but it was soft and tender. Keegan caressed his fingers along your neck causing you groan into his kiss. Pulling back you nipped his bottom lip and smiled at him. Brushing hair out of your face he bucked his hips into you as he coaxed your mouth open, deepening the kiss. Reaching behind you, you cradled the back of his head whilst running your fingers through his jet black hair.
With your foreheads still pressed together you broke the kiss, trying to catch your breath. ‘Touch me Keegan, please’ you whimpered. He searched your eyes as he smiled at you ‘you sure?’ You tried to find words to answer him but found none. ‘Words sweetheart, use em.’ Sighing you focused your mind just about managing to whimper a ‘yes.’
Dropping his hand to your trousers he popped the button sliding his hand into your panties. His breath wavered as he trailed his fingers along your slit. ‘Please’ you begged again.
‘So needy, you sound so pretty when you beg.’ You could practically hear him smiling behind you. ‘Just fuckin touch me Keegan’ you hissed between your teeth. He let out a cocky grunt as he pressed against your clit causing you to jolt. ‘That feel good?’ You grunted a moan of affirmation.
As he slowly gathered your arousal on his fingers he whispered into your ear ‘I want you to taste yourself.’ He brought his fingers to your mouth, you ran your tongue along his fingers savouring the taste of your pussy. He whispered praise against your cheek as he sunk his fingers back into your trousers. He toyed with your cunt once more before plunging a finger into your tight hole. You bit your lip as you bucked your hips back into him. ‘So fukin wet’ he praised.
The palm of his hand ground against your clit as he moved his fingers inside you. Your moans became more frequent, intense which only spurred him on more. ‘Fuck, you feel so good, this pussys perfect.’ The praise was sending you wild, but you wanted more. More of him. ‘Fuck me … please.’
Without wasting any time Keegan pulled his trousers low enough to free his cock. You pushed back into him once more, ‘patience’ he mumbled into your neck. A choked giggle bust from the back of your throat, you really did sound pathetic. But part of you loved feeling like this, putty in his hands, coming undone beneath him. He gathered your juices on the end of his cock before pushing himself into you. Both of you gasping for air as he gripped your hips.
He thrusted slowly at first, allowing you to get used to his girth. ‘Fuck Keegan’ you drawled, slurring your words as he started to pick up his pace. Using his arm that was under your neck to pull you closer to him he pawed at your breasts. Tweaking your nipple as he placed the other around your neck. ‘Fuck baby … fuck …’ his voice began to crack as his eyes rolled back into his head.
You moaned into his arm but Keegan pulled your throat back into him, ‘I wanna hear you, I wanna hear when you come round my cock.’ Feeling as though you’d now gained permission you allowed yourself to moan louder. He upped his pace again, burying his cock deep into your dripping pussy. He became breathless as his groans shifted to the back of his throat. He could feel you begin to tighten around him ‘that’s it, atta girl … I can feel you, cum for me sweetheart.’
‘Don’t stop Keegan, fuck … don’t stop’ you choked out. You gripped onto his muscular thighs as you dug your nails into his skin. Turning your head you kissed him once more, swiping your tongues against one another’s in between moans. ‘I’m close’ you whisper as you zone in on your muscles tightening. ‘Come on, come on my cock … good girl.’
With a few more thrusts you fell into the void of complete euphoria. Your pupils blown wide with pleasure and lust as you felt Keegan’s thrusts become sloppy. Sensing he was close you placed your hand on his lower back ‘in me Keegan, cum in me.’ His voice broke into a whimper at your command. It was enough to push him to his climax, cumming inside your stretched pussy. Thick ropes of cum coated your walls as you felt his cock pulsate within your cunt.
Heavy breathing filled the suddenly silent room, the fire had withered away to embers, the orange glow has become a dull light in the background. He pulled you in tight kissing your cheek ‘ready?’ You nodded, as he pulled out you both hissed at the sudden loss of sensation. He watched as his cum oozed out of you, you looked ethereal in the dull glow of the fire, so … breed-able.
Standing he pulled up his trousers and went to stoke the fire, rolling over you watched as he knelt down and tended to the dying flames. He turned back to see you smirking at him ‘what?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Doesn’t look like nothing.’
Your grin grew wider ‘just enjoyed myself is all.’
His gaze softened as he looked at you ‘it’s always been you, you know.’
‘What?’ Your eyes widened as you sat up onto your elbow. After poking the fire he returned to your side and cupped your face, ‘I said it’s always been you.’ Pulling him into a tender kiss you ran your thumb along his jaw, ‘then you’ll always have me.’
1K notes · View notes
ichorai · 7 months
Text
reset me ; wade wilson.
Tumblr media
track twelve of BROKEN MACHINE.
pairing ; wade wilson (deadpool) x mutant!reader (gender-neutral)
synopsis ; charles sends you to recruit deadpool into the x-men. expectedly, the bastard tries to weasel away from you—and when that doesn’t work, he resorts to his most lethal method: flirtation. that, and taping a kick me sign on your back.
words ; 1.3k
themes ; comedy, mild fluff and action, mutant au
warnings / includes ; mild injury/violence, sexual jokes and foul language, a lil bit of banter/terrible flirting, reader has the mutant ability to harness energy into ropes, wade steals blind al's crocs, reader's implied previous romantic relationship with wolverine, mentions of the rest of the x-men :)
Tumblr media
Wade’s place smelled like greasy pizza, put-out cigarettes, and old socks. The door wasn’t locked—in fact, it was slightly ajar, and you could clearly hear Wade and Al bickering about missing Crocs.
“I swear I put them right here!” she vehemently exclaimed, gesturing to a potted plant. 
Wade rolled his eyes. “Right—because you always hang your Crocs on our leafy greens.” 
Al shuffled somewhere into the back of the house, complaining loudly to herself. 
You took that as your cue to silently step in, standing just behind Wade, noting with mild amusement that he was wearing a pair of white Crocs. The very ones Al was searching for, you presumed.
In the blink of an eye, Wade whirled about on the heel of his squeaky, rubbery footwear and brandished a knife. Its strangely warm blade slotted against your throat just as you defensively raised your hands.
“Watch it, Wade,” you warned, though you were not at all worried. His knife lowered and flipped back into the depths of his fluffy bathrobe when he realized who you were. 
“Oh. It’s you,” he said. The discolored flesh of his face twitched with a grin. “Did Mr. Metal Dick send you? The bullwhip substitute to watch over the class?” He snickered at his own joke, recalling your mutant ability to harness energy into the form of ropes.
“Piotr is off on vacation with Kitty,” you replied, propping your hands up on your hips.
Wade tipped his head back and guffawed. “Do you think he stays that way under the sheets?”
With a grimace, you pinched the space between your brows and sighed loudly. “Jesus, Wade—I don’t fucking know. Why don’t you ask him next time you see him?”
“Good idea.” He shuffled off to shuck open a box of day-old pizza on the table. “You want?”
“No thanks.”
“You sure? It’s pepperoni. You know how expensive it is to get pepperoni nowadays, in this economy? I’m offering you gold flakes on bread, here.”
“Mhm, I’ll pass.” After a considerable silence, only filled with Wade’s loud munching, you tested the waters by saying, “Charles actually sent me.”
Wade gestured at a chair and nudged for you to take a seat. “McAvoy or Stewart?” 
“What? Charles Xavier, who’s McAvoy and Stewart?” You sank down onto the creaky wooden chair, frowning at the baby powder rimming the backboard. It was probably Al’s. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was Wade, though.
Ignoring your question, Wade tilted his head and asked, “How’s Yukio? And her emo-face Megasonic Nuclear Bomb-Head girlfriend?”
You smiled slightly, remembering how they were pestering Logan, who’d been working on fixing a motorcycle back at the mansion when you left. 
“They’re fine. Wolvie, too.”
“No way!” exclaimed Wade. “Logie’s there, too? Jesus—whole damn gang’s there.”
“Except you,” you pointedly said.
Wade paused mid-chew. “Oh. Oh-ho-ho, I know what you’re doing here. Charles wants me to join his rag-tag team of circus freaks.”
“Wade—”
“The answer is no.”
“Come on—”
“And he wants me to be around all those kids? In a school? Has he met me?”
“Believe me, I don’t know what he’s thinking, either,” you told him, scoffing. “You’re the last person I’d expect to be on the team but… I trust Charles. If he wants you in, there must be a reason why.”
Holding his hands out, Wade shook his head. “Listen, I’m flattered, really, but Deadpool works solo. Except for that one time I formed the X-Force. But that was a team of people I hand-picked! The X-Men just doesn’t sound up my alley, y’know?”
You blew out a breath and fixed him with a serious expression. “Some day you’re gonna have to pull your head out of your ass and realize that there are people out there who are willing to be your friends. Your family. Don’t throw it away, Wade.”
A muscle in his jaw ticked as he studied you. 
“You’re really bad with rejection, aren’t you?” he finally asked, quirking up a brow—or, at least where his eyebrow used to be—and crossed his arms. The Crocs he’d stolen from Al squeaked as he stood up and gestured to the door. “I’m surprised you didn’t go running back to Charles the moment I said no. I’m beginning to think you have a crush on me, or something. Not that I blame you. My face may be fucked but my dick works better than ever. Just ask Al. She’s blind as a bat, but she hears everything in this damn house.”
Immediately, you grimaced. “Ugh. Don’t be crass.”
“What? I thought you were into broken men. Like to pick up their pieces, don’cha? You and Wolvie had that fling once, no? He told me all about it.” 
In truth, Logan had told him little to nothing about his brief relationship with you, but Wade had ruthlessly pestered him anyway. 
You stiffened at his words, glowering. “You’re exasperating.”
“And you’re looking awfully lovely today. That frown really accentuates your eyes. Makes you look about a decade older.” Wade leaned his weight onto the table, leering over you, patting your back twice. “I find it very attractive.”
With a flick of your hand, a crimson coil of your harnessed energy shot out and thwacked him in his side, and he hissed out a string of curses, backing away from you. You’d burned right through his fluffy white robe, to his simultaneous dismay and astonishment.
“Jesus!” Wade glanced incredulously from you to the slight, shallow gash that formed by his ribs, already starting to heal itself. “That’s actually—that was so fucking cool. Do it again!”
Clearing your throat, you pushed yourself away and stood up. “Final time I’m asking. Yes or no?”
Wade pretended to give it a long, hard think. “Mmh…” He wrinkled his nose. “No.”
“Fine,” you said, rolling your eyes up to the ceiling. “When Piotr comes back from vacation, he’s going to find you and he’s not gonna go as easy on you as I have.”
“Ooh, ouch. Hope he brings some lube with him.” Wade grinned wolfishly.
Completely fed up with him, you ripped out a wad of paper and a pen from your jacket’s pocket, scribbling down your phone number. You folded it in half before shoving it against his chest.
“I’m not giving up on you. I’m a competitive person, Wade. If Piotr was the one to convince you to join, I just wouldn’t be able to bear it.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re literally obsessed with me, I get it,” he remarked, sparing you a lopsided beam. He made a show of pocketing your number on the side of his robe that wasn’t burnt. “You little minx, you.”
With a final flick of your hand, you lashed out another coil around his foot, and made your way to the door just as he fell back onto the couch with a muffled oomf! 
Just as you left, you heard Wade cackling to himself through the door you left partially ajar, just as it was when you came in. You chalked it up to him finding it funny that you managed to trip him over with your powers, and strode away from the shoddy house with your lips twitching upwards. 
Wade, however, was laughing because he’d successfully pulled off taping a kick me sign onto your back without you noticing. A low and childish blow, but would certainly make for some fun banter whenever he saw you again—which, he suspected, would be pretty soon.
Plus, Wade thought you were pretty cute when you were riled up.
303 notes · View notes
b3achysurfur · 3 months
Text
saw a theory saying the phantom was just curious and I agree, so here’s my two cents.
The phantom was in the window before the car even pulled up the building. which means if it had any intentions on harming ash or her parents it had sooo much time to do so and ash’s parents would’ve been fully distracted. but it didn’t. it didn’t even get close enough for them to notice it until after ash was born.
Tumblr media
It gently reaches its hand out to ash. to do what? Idk. But in the past it onlt grabbed her. At the time, it makes sense that we (as well as the characters) thought it was to harm ash, but idk if that’s the case anymore. It didn’t try slashing her or exhibit any agressive behavior. It simple just wanted to touch her
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Both in the past and present (savanna trip) the phantom smiles at ashlyn from afar. it never takes action until AFTER it’s presence is acknowledged by someone. It never tries to chase her, attack her, or outwardly harm her in any way. It kinda just exists near her and then attempts to reach out to her.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The only time either ash or her dad were harmed by the phantom in the real world is which they moved on impulse. the phantom slashed Ashlyn’s dad while trying to move away after being stabbed, and ash got scratched after snatching her arm away. when u rlly think about it, the phantom let ashlyn go the first time. we already know it’s wayyyy stronger than ashlyn physically (roof scene) and a simple yank of the arm wouldn’t be enough to get out of its grasp. so it had to have let her go / not been holding on tight, both of which indicate it didn’t have negative intentions
Tumblr media Tumblr media
this panel often gets overlooked, but ashlyn states “it usually stops by now” meaning phantoms have been following her all her life. although she’s creeped out by the phantom, her ability to keep calm implies she’s seen the phantoms before. if that’s the case, why didn’t they attack her any of those times? If they are trying to kill her, why are they waiting to do it?
Tumblr media
this only applies to the real world though. in the phantom dimension, it’s 50/50.
Tumblr media
the first ever phantom we see (ep 1) is agressive right off the bat. even after the kids disappeared, it stayed around and it’s agressive behavior continued when they came back. we didn’t she them attempt to attack it first, as it was already chasing them, so I believe it was just agressive to begin with. It tries to swipe at them before they disappeared and attempted to slash ashlyn when it found her under the seats.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
but the phantom that dragged ashlyn to the roof only tried to attack her when she stabbed it. I was looking back at the scene, and it smashing her head against the roof was an accident. It only pins her to the ground because she puts up a struggle. even though it had her pinned down, it didn’t raise its hand at her until she stabbed it. Also this phantom was the first to listen to her when she made a demand. It also immediately calmed down.
I talked about that scene in another post, so I won’t just repeat everything I said. but point is, I don’t think the phantoms want to harm ashlyn. but they want something from her instead. they can sense smth is different about her, and are trying to figure it out. in the first couple of chapters the phantoms personally target ashlyn. When Logan got scratched it’s because him and Aiden intervened with its plan. it was only trying to get to ashlyn. which is a lil suspicious. but as the other kids turn into phantoms, the phantoms are more aware of their existences and start to target them to (the one that rushed Tyler on the tree). but who rlly knows right?
168 notes · View notes
delimeful · 4 months
Text
the end of being alone (6)
remember how this installment was mostly fluff up until this point? we'll get back to that! 
... just not this chapter <3
part 2: how does a kid end up stranded in space, anyhow?
warnings: bad self care, illness, panic, child in distress, minor injury, non-consensual drug use, trafficking, unethical imprisonment and treatment of prisoners, child endangerment, implied offscreen minor character death, ambiguous character fates, this is a heavy tearjerker chapter but it does have a hopeful ending, lmk if i missed any
-
Virgil’s condition hadn’t improved.
They’d tried as many non-medicinal techniques as they could, struggling to figure out what would help and what would harm an unpredictable biological system that they barely understood.
Nothing had helped. Nothing was working.
And each time Virgil woke up to the sight of the ship around him, he wept and struggled and shouted, burning through his meager energy and only worsening his health.
He didn’t respond to heartfelt pleas from any of them, rarely even seeming to understand they were in the room with him. His stare was distant and terrified, his mind somewhere else, and each time it happened, Logan wanted to understand how to help so badly.
So, after several cycles without sleep and with the pressure of increasing desperation weighing heavy on his head, he finally succumbed to the deeply unwise impulse to start a Vidi.
He’d only wanted to understand what Virgil was yelling, try and grasp the reason behind his fear in the hopes that they could abate it, even slightly.
The moment he’d made contact, however, his mind had been dragged into a memory with intense force, the metaphorical handles of the Vidi ripped away, leaving him unable to steer and barely able to move.
His fingers twitched with the urge to pull away, but he stopped himself. It could hurt Virgil, and he’d endured plenty of traumatic memories before. He could handle this.
With a blink, he was looking through a much younger set of eyes.
The ship came during the summer.
Virgil remembered, because he’d been reviewing holidays and important events with his class before the break, and his half-birthday was coming up in a week!
His birthday was in winter, so his half birthday was in the opposite season, summer! He’d said as much before trying to debate his way into a trip to the park with his friends, and failing miserably.
So, he’d snuck out. And gotten himself lost between one turn of the neighborhood and the next.
He’d run into one of his neighbors, who’d been more than a little concerned to see him wandering around alone, especially because there had apparently been some people disappearing lately.
“Where did they go?” he’d asked, and gotten an uncomfortable reassurance, which definitely wasn’t an answer.
He’d frowned, tried to ask again, but his neighbor had gone quiet and grey-faced, staring at something over his shoulder. Before he could turn to see, there was a sharp thunk, and a bright bolt of pain in his shoulder.
There was a high, crackling scream, which was bad, but Virgil couldn’t keep his eyes open long enough to figure out where it came from. A pair of warm hands caught him when he staggered, and then he was out.
He barely recalled what happened next, the memories fragmented like someone had taken a hammer to them. He didn’t want to think about them, but he kept the pieces close and tucked away anyhow, knowing they were important even though they hurt.
He felt flickers of awareness, the sensation of eyes rolling against heavy eyelids, a rapid pulse pounding away in his ears like a big drum, angry and fearful shouting barely audible beyond the clamor.
And then: the barest glimpse of the docking port of a ship from the inside, the entrance ramp folding up and sealing away the green trees and blue sky on the other side. Replacing the brief vision of home with cold metal and unearthly lights.
There weren’t any warm hands holding him, now.
His whimper turned nearly soundless on the way up his throat, but it drew the attention of his captors regardless.
A rush of unfamiliar language above him, another flood of numbness spreading through him, but even from that one fragmented moment, Virgil understood that they were taking him away.
Another blank period, like dipping one's head briefly underwater, and then he was waking up again.
“Easy, baby,” a familiar voice said, a hand stroking through his hair, slow and gentle. “You’re okay, you’re alright.”
“Miss Susan?” Virgil asked, and his voice came out small and crackling. He coughed, trying to force his crusted over eyelashes apart with a growing sense of panic.
“Hey, I need some water for the kid!” Miss Susan called lowly, before setting a hand against his back and helping him shuffle upright. “Take it slow, baby, don’t choke. There we go.”
Virgil opened his eyes and got his first look at the room he’d be stuck in for the next several months.
It was dimly lit, and smelled bad. The floor was metal, with a few thin stripes of grating, like a shower drain. The walls were made of tinted plastic and covered with sharp-edged wire netting, and there were a whole bunch of people inside with him and Miss Susan.
They all spoke to him at one point or another, but he only remembered some of their names. The thought made his stomach twist painfully, and he clamped down on the sensation.
He couldn’t be sick. Being sick was bad.
The time shifted, Miss Susan still at his side but her hair longer and her skin sallower. They were all seated, tired from the cold and the dark and the gross food that he wasn’t allowed to throw up.
Mister Ben was coughing, hard and rasping and wet, one after another. A few people were crouched near him, talking to him in hushed voices as they tried to coax him into stopping, but his body curled in and convulsed like he couldn’t control the coughs at all.
Before long, there was a clang, and a spraying sound like that time a fire hydrant down the road had been busted open. A few people stood between the door and Mister Ben, but the room grew more and more hazy with the thick air that made his legs go all numb, and they were swaying with the effort of staying upright.
Virgil knew by now what happened next. He turned and pressed his face against Miss Susan’s side, and she drew him close and held him tightly as the suits came in.
The aliens were always wearing them when they came into sight. Thick rubbery suits with dark-tinted visors, each with an electric zapper in hand. They’d drag the sick one out, and Virgil would never see them again.
“Leave him alone!” Miss Susan cried, joined by the rising voices of the rest of their roommates. “Don’t touch him, you leave him the fuck alone!”
Virgil kept not looking, but he said it too, into the worn fabric of Miss Susan’s blouse. “Leave him alone, don’t touch him, leave him alone, don’t touch him, leave him alone…,”
It didn’t work. It never did. The aliens didn’t listen to them, and they made them weak and floaty if they tried to intervene.
His voice cracked as he kept repeating it, even as the door clanged again and the hiss of air stopped. If he didn’t look up, he could pretend that Mister Ben was still there, only quiet because he was all better from his cough.
"It's okay. I know. It's alright, honey." Miss Susan’s hands shook as they stroked carefully through his hair, soothing him to sleep through the last of his hiccuped sobs.
Everyone who spoke to him was kind, even when they were unhappy. When Miss Susan slept but he was awake, Mister Aaron would invent word games to play or Miss Kelsey would challenge him to push up contests, and they would all take turns trying to think of the worst possible combinations of foods to compare to their mush food.
The best was Miss Susan, though. When he was bored, she would tell him stories about her nieces and nephews, and the farm she grew up on, and silly people at her job before they got taken. When he couldn’t sleep, she would hum whichever parts of lullabies she could remember.
Even when he got sad and didn’t want to move or talk at all, she would hold him close and poke at his side and gasp about seeing the firefly that had snuck onboard with them, until he had no choice but to wiggle free and inspect every corner for its light.
The other adults would spot it every once in a while, too, and try to point it out to him. He never saw it, which he would report back to Miss Susan every time.
“Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there,” she’d tell him, waving at the dark ceiling of the room. “Glowbugs can’t be bright all the time.”
“Why not?”
“Well, they’d get too hot and sweaty. They’d have to go swim in the ocean, and then they’d probably all turn into anglerfish,” Miss Susan said, even though she hadn’t known what an anglerfish was until Virgil had told her everything he could remember about them.
“No way,” he said, laughing despite himself. “Bugs can’t turn into fish!”
“Maybe they just get too tired, then,” Miss Susan said, ruffling his hair. “It must be exhausting, being so bright.”
She went quiet for a moment, and Virgil leaned into her touch, squinting at the dark corners and willing the bug to show itself.
“Even when they’re blending in with the dark, though, they’re still there,” Miss Susan finally continued. “So don’t give up. You’ve just gotta trust in it, and eventually, you’ll spot it.”
“I want eventually to be now,” Virgil had responded, petulant as he flopped against her side, eyes growing heavy.
Miss Susan pet his head, humming quietly until he was almost asleep. She let out a big sigh, and when she spoke, her voice was quiet. “You and me both, kid.”
And then it was the last day.
He knew because Miss Susan’s hands were carefully cupping his face, coaxing him into waking up with a careful tap to the nose. They never woke him up on purpose, because 'growing kids needed their rest', except for the last day.
Virgil felt his brow scrunch with confusion even before his eyelids started fluttering, and Miss Susan chuckled and pressed her lips to the crown of his head for a moment.
“Come on, baby, wake up. It’s important, okay?”
He forced himself to open his eyes and keep them open, a little unease running down his spine.
Everyone had been scared, lately. Their group had shrunk in number, their room had been moved onto a bigger ship, and there were distant sounds of crowds at all hours, making his skin prickle with nerves when he was trying to sleep.
Some of their roommates were really smart, and they’d started puzzling out the words of the alien language from the ship directions that were given over the intercom and the overheard conversations of those passing by or rudely peeking in at them.
They’d taught Virgil some of them, whenever he was awake enough to remember. The words they whispered now weren’t ones he’d learned yet, though.
‘Transfer’ and ‘auction’. Everyone disliked them, felt too upset or angry about them to explain, even Miss Susan. Or maybe they just didn’t want to explain them to him, like they wouldn’t tell him what the aliens did with people when they got taken away. There had been a lot of arguing and shouting in low voices, trying to keep him from overhearing.
But now, they were waking him up.
Virgil let himself be coaxed to his feet, following Miss Susan over to the corner where everyone stood in a huddle, the tallest of them on the outside.
“Okay, sweetie. I need you to listen to me very closely, alright?” she told him, turning him to face the corner where they usually kept extra clothes in a pile. “You’re going to have to be very brave for me, okay?”
The clothes had been moved. There was a hole in the wall, where the netting had been peeled back. The edges of it were rough and curved like they’d been made with fingernails, like it had been painstakingly carved through one scratch at a time.
It was a small hole, barely the size of a vent, or a cat flap. Virgil could probably fit through it, but he was the only one.
“No,” Virgil shook his head immediately. “I don’t want to! I’m scared.”
Miss Susan squatted to be level with him, holding his hand in hers. “I know, honey. But it’s important, okay? We’re going to get out and find you, but you have to go first and stay safe until we do. I’ll send our little glowbug with you, and it’ll light the way in the dark.”
“What about your dark?” Virgil asked, rubbing harshly at his stinging eyes.
Miss Susan softened, pulled his hand away and smoothed a thumb over his cheekbone. “Oh, baby. I’ve seen that glowbug a hundred times, here with you. I’ll be okay without it for a little while.”
Virgil turned to look at the hole again, imagining a little firefly crawling through with him so he wouldn’t be alone.
“Do you promise?” he asked, and Miss Susan pulled him into a hug so tight, it felt like it squished all the air from him.
“I promise,” she said, and her hands shook a little but her voice was steady. Virgil smushed his face against her shoulder for the last time.
“Okay. I’ll— I’ll go.”
The barrier of bodies around them seemed to relax, just slightly, though it still took Miss Susan a few moments longer to release him.
They told him everything he needed to know, everyone chiming in. That he had to run, as fast and as far as he could, and be sneaky and quiet when he was too tired to run. That he should find hiding places and hole up in them, wait until nobody was around to keep running.
That he should always hide from aliens, even if they weren't wearing the suits. That he should never let them see him, because they hated humans. That if they did grab him, he could do whatever he needed to do to get away.
“Just like stranger danger, right, buddy? You can bite, kick, scream, whatever you need to do.”
Virgil nodded, trying to push down the sick, stressed feeling in his gut, and when there was finally no advice left to give, he turned to the gash in the wall.
Wiggling through it was hard, because there were still sharp, poky bits that scratched at his skin and the inside of the wall was dark and stifling, but every time he wanted to stop, he could hear the encouragement of everyone else, who was still stuck inside.
There was a little bug with him, he reminded himself. If he closed his eyes and froze up, he wouldn’t ever be able to see it glow.
Finally, he squirmed free of the last few inches, dropping onto the floor of a very small dark room with shelves in it, like a linen closet. He turned back to face the hole, calling out, and Miss Susan reached an arm through.
He grabbed for her hand and pressed his face to it, clung to her for a long moment, his breaths stuttering as she cradled him the best she could.
There was a muffled clang, and Miss Susan ran her wavering thumb over his cheekbone one more time before pulling away.
“Run, Virgil. Now. Run!”
So he did.
He ran and hid, just like they told him, but he picked the wrong place to hide because it was part of another ship, and it took him far away. He kept running, pulled himself into tiny little nooks on spaceship after spaceship, snuck food wherever he could get it and only ever whispered to his invisible firefly.
Eventually, he left a ship and there were no other ships around to board, only the wide landscape of a different planet, full of weird trees and weird animals and a weird town that he fled from. No more ships came, and that was fine because he didn’t want to run anymore. He wanted to stay and wait for them to find him.
He laid on his back and faced the sky, searching for a sign that they were coming. He was hungry and tired and lonely.
The stars above looked just like fireflies, hundreds of them. Enough for all of them to watch together. Except there wasn’t a ‘them’. It was only him.
Virgil felt his face growing hot, his throat closing up at the thought. It was too frightening to be alone.
No, he wasn’t alone. He wasn’t. He had their firefly with him, somewhere next to him in the grass.
“Just because I can’t see them, doesn’t mean they’re not there,” Virgil said to himself sternly, and rolled back to his feet.
He would find something to eat, somewhere to sleep, and he would wait. They would find him. They would find him. They would…
When Logan finally eased the mental connection closed and pulled himself free, he found there was a low, buzzing keen building in the back of his throat. The sort of sound he hadn’t made since he himself was a child.
Virgil still lay there unconscious, but his cheeks were shiny and damp with tears. Logan reached out, ignoring the heat radiating from the pupa’s skin, and gently smoothed a narrow finger over his cheek, wiping the wetness away as best he could.
It didn’t do much, but the crinkle in Virgil’s brow seemed to ease just slightly at the sensation.
Roman paced by again, pausing at the sight. “Specs? Is the kid alright? …Are you alright?”
Logan wondered what Roman would think about the fact that Humans and Crav’n had more in common culturally than he would have ever guessed. That an entire group of Humans had given up their only boon for the slim chance of getting the only child present to safety.
No time to waste, now. That conversation would have to wait until they’d launched.
“Let Patton know we’re leaving, and meet me in the navigation area,” he instructed, already turning to leave. “I’m going to clear our landing area for departure.”
“What— I thought we agreed it was a bad idea to actually leave?” Roman asked, glancing between Logan and Virgil with visible worry.
“It’s a worse idea to sit here and wait,” he replied firmly, and then he was down the hall and out the hanger door, ignoring the shiver of secondhand trepidation that Virgil’s mind had left in his.
He circled the ship, placing the warding discs that would keep their launch area organism-free down one by one, and then paused at the sight of a familiar creature standing by the main entrance hatch.
It was a Humlilt, one with a distinct little white splotch on its head. Logan was fairly certain that it was the one who had stood between them and Virgil during their second meeting, the most loyal of the bunch, only proved further by the way it had been waiting outside the ship since Virgil had been taken aboard.
Logan was also fairly certain that Virgil had named this one Susan, after his neighbor. The Human who’d taken care of him, in those memories.
“You’ve taken care of him, too, haven’t you?” he asked, still far too affected by the painful sympathy that had washed over him post-Vidi.
The Humlilt stamped a hoof and trumpeted at him warningly as he neared, still obviously holding a grudge at them for stealing Virgil away.
Logan attempted to rationalize himself out of the decision he was about to make, and utterly failed.
It took some digging and reaching out to a few of Logan’s less savory contacts, but the ship was on its way to a waypoint station that was rumored to have a Human expert in residence. It could have been a trap, a lie meant to lure interested parties into an attack, but they were going to have to risk it.
The three of them had all agreed to the plan. They wouldn’t be able to live with themselves otherwise.
Now that they were in transit, Logan sat down with his two closest friends, and began to explain just what he’d learned about their kid.
A few rooms down in the medical bay, a half-conscious Human reached out a feverish hand and found a small, fluffy presence curled up at his side.
The Humlilt crooned a few notes, sounding just like the aimless lullabies its namesake used to hum.
For the first time since boarding the ship, Virgil breathed a little easier.
169 notes · View notes
yamujiburo · 5 months
Note
Hey there, Kiana, the name’s Logan and I am quite a fan of your art, as well as the animation done in Pokémon: Path to The Peak. I just have some questions that I hope you don’t mind answering. PS, Sorry about the amount and/or what questions I have.
1)What got you into Pokémon? Was it the games, the anime, or something else?
2)As of now, have you met any of the anime’s VAs(Voice Actors)? If so, who?
3)I am a FanFiction writer and plan on doing a rewrite of Pokémon Live. Looking back at it now, what needs to be changed/improved and why?
4)When making sensitive/dark moments in stories/episodes, such as break-ups, arguments, etc., what’s the process?
Hiya! Glad you enjoyed Path to the Peak! It was so fun to work on and I'm so honored to have worked on anything Pokémon hahaha
I was always more intrigued by the anime but I wasn't allowed to watch it as a kid. It wasn't until my brother and I found a copy of Pokémon Diamond on the ground that our parents finally caved and let us get into the franchise. So I guess it was technically the games!
I'm not a convention goer so I haven't met a tooooon. But I'm buds with Zeno Robinson (who I met bc he's the voice of Remy on the show that I work on, Big City Greens), I haven't met Michele Knotz in person yet but we message each other a lot and I've been a guest on her streams several times, and I've very recently been able to meet Sarah Natochenny who invited me to one of her parties a few months ago! I met a lot of the VAs, who I've been twitter mutuals with for a while, at said party (Alejandro Saab, Jenny Yokobori, Ray Chase, Cherami Leigh, etc.) They were all delightful!
Honestly the musical is gold. There's not much I'd change tbh. I don't consider it canon but that doesn't mean it's not fun hahaha. I'm just a Madame Boss truther and the Pokémon Live implies Giovanni founded Team Rocket when it was really her
I think it's just important to get in the head of the characters you're writing and also combine that with any of your personal experiences. Taking those feelings and then imagining how a specific character would handle said feelings will really help inform how you write them
162 notes · View notes
chaithetics · 9 months
Text
Porcelain and the Shark - The 80th
Tumblr media
Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) reader
(reader has anxiety, no use of y/n, physical descriptions or other names but does have the nickname Porcelain/Porce - due to family viewing her that way not because of complexion)
Word count: 5K
Prompt: Logan’s birthday Oc!Roy and their two toddler kids, pregnant with the last one goes to the surprise party. Logan at this point while loves his daughter isn’t too thrilled with the fact that Stewy isn’t in the business or like open to help logan as “family,” so he’s kind of soured on Stewy. And while he loves his grandkids, he’s kind of not happy they’re Hosseini’s and y/n is one too, he’s pretty salty that even though it’s hyphenated she’s pretty okay with just being called Mrs. Hosseini at pre-school pickup. So the dinner is on and y/n is talking with her siblings and tending to the kids and Stewy shows up pretty late due to business, which also pisses Logan off because while he admires it, he also sees it as a slight to himself. Y/n stops it, gently but also pretty much uses her pregnancy and meek daughter rep to kind of disarm her dad’s explosion and barbs. (slight variation on some stuff)
Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established relationship, implied spice but not really, soft Stewy, dad + husband Stewy, anxious reader, anxiety, mentions/references to drug use (not depicted though), mentions/allusions to childhood abuse, canonical Roy Roy family being Roys...
Authors note: This was one prompt of a few in a single ask so I haven't directly responded to it as it will be a little series of drabbles and to keep the other prompts in there so I don't forget. This is an anxious f (afab) Roy reader. Sorry for the slight delay in this, I ended up changing my mind about which fic I wanted to finish and post, it just made more sense dramaturgically... I hope you you all enjoy this and let me know what you think! Especially the lovely Nonnie that sent this in, I appreciate you!
****************
It’s the day of your father’s 80th birthday and you’re anxious to say the least. You’d always lived with anxiety that you’d struggled to hide but this anxiety was often worsened when your family was involved. Your family were dramatic, toxic, chaotic and abusive. You were wondering why you were even going, especially without Stewy but you reminded yourself that you had boundaries. It would be okay. Connor would be there and Stewy would come, he would just be running late. 
You wouldn’t even say anything about how it was a surprise birthday party, you’d leave that to Roman, he would definitely bring it up. Everybody knew that Logan absolutely hated surprises but Marcia had chosen to ignore it. You knew it wouldn’t go well, there was always some drama and you were even more anxious because Stewy wouldn’t be there for the bulk of it. You’d just finished feeding your daughter Matilda and now your focus was turned to getting your three-year-old son, Jonathan,  ready. 
Jonathan’s giggle can now be heard from the bedroom, clearly coming from the ensuite. You walk into the large ensuite to see Jonathan sitting on the vanity swinging his legs as Stewy styles his hair. You immediately stop to watch the sweet scene, it calms the anxiety that had been growing as a dreadful ball in the pit of your stomach.  
Jonathan is looking up at his father in awe with a large smile covering his whole face. Stewy’s face is pure concentration as his focus is solely on his son’s curls he’s easily putting into a style similar to his. You lean against the doorway and watch them, not saying a word as you don’t want to disturb this moment. 
“Does it look just like yours?” Jonathan asks excitedly. 
Stewy chuckles and while he still has concentration etched into every handsome feature he has a giant smile that’s directed at Jonathan. “Almost.” 
You were absolutely in love with Stewy and were just in as much awe of him as you were when you first fell. His playful, teasing nature really shined when he was with his children. They were in mutual adoration of each other. But Stewy wasn’t a manchild, he could be serious. He was intelligent and always quick-witted, he was also soft and patient, the latter being a necessary skill for having spent so long around Roys. 
“Mommy!” Jonathan calls out as he finally notices you. You walk over to where he sits. Stewy looks over his shoulder at you with a large smile and then his focus returns back to Jonathan. 
“Hi, darling.” You smile at Jonathan, placing a hand gently on his back to ensure he’s securely sitting on the vanity as you give him a little tickle on the side. He giggles which makes Stewy’s smile grow. You lean over to softly kiss Stewy on the cheek, you feel his smile widen as his handsome beard tickles your lips and you let out a small laugh at that. 
“You’re distracting me, baby.” He teases. 
“I’m sorry, can’t let that happen now can we?” 
“Sweetie-” Stewy winks at Jonathan and points at the young boy's dark curls as he continues. “This is my life’s work, my genes- these genes,  Jonathan’s my masterpiece.” You giggle at that and Jonathan looks up at you both laughing. 
“I want my hair like Dad’s!” Jonathan says as he points up, you nod. You love Stewy’s hair and it made your heart melt that Jonathan had inherited Stewy’s curls. Jonathan’s hair was normally tidy but wasn’t styled back how Stewy’s usually was, your precious son normally had looser, freer curls and you made a mental note to request Stewy doing the same more often. 
“So not a silly mohawk?” You ask Jonathan moving your hands to gesture what you mean. Stewy chuckles at that and Jonathan looks up at you. 
“No!” He says while giggling. 
“That’s what I thought, I was just checking sweetie.” You say with a smile looking down at him. He smiles while Stewy finishes his hair. Stewy then picks him up, turning him around so Jonathan can look into the mirror. 
“Happy with that buddy? You look pretty suave.” Stewy says with a smile. Jonathan excitedly nods and says thank you a few times. You can’t help but laugh at the young boy’s joy and how loving Stewy is with him, the complete opposite of what you had with your father. 
Stewy then puts Jonathan down and Jonathan hugs you and walks off. Stewy smiles at you and you wrap your arms around the back of his neck and lean your head against his chest. 
“Our genes really made a masterpiece.” Stewy says as he presses his lips against yours softly, you lean into the kiss more and it naturally deepens it. You bite his lip a little and moan into his mouth, his hands then come to wrap firmly around the back of your waist, pressing you into him more. 
“Thank you for doing that.” You say as you put a hand through Stewy’s soft hair. “He looks pretty happy and-”
“Of course. But don’t thank me for being a parent, remember?” Stewy says as he presses another kiss to your forehead. 
“I know. You should have your hair- curls out more often, you know?” 
“Oh really?” 
“Yes, it’s a formal request.” You say pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. 
“Noted, I’ll raise that at the next hair board meeting.” 
“I’d appreciate it.” You say with a smile, then your eyes scan to Stewy’s watch. “I guess it’s probably time for you to head off now sweetie.” You tilt your head to give his cheek another kiss. 
“I’ll get there as soon as I can okay? It’ll be fine- Connor will be there and I love you, so there’s that as well.” Stewy says kissing your lips another time. 
“I love you too.” You say giving him one last kiss before he heads off to work and you leave with the kids to survive another Roy family function. 
**************************
Roman hums the Jaws theme song as he walks into the bathroom. 
“Uh yes, I thought I smelt shit.” Roman’s voice cuts through as he sees you holding Matilda in one arm with a freshly changed diaper. 
“Maybe it’s because you just walked into a bathroom?” 
“Yeah, one with a baby that just took a shit.” Roman smirks. 
“Rome.” You say tiredly. 
He rolls his eyes with a small smirk and walks over, giving you a quick one-armed hug as he leans down to peck a kiss on Matilda’s forehead, he sniffs her head for a moment. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but he loved doing that, it was calming and he’d take any chance he could to do so. 
There were many things Roman wouldn’t admit, one of them being that you were secretly, probably his favourite. He wouldn’t hide it but he also wouldn’t loudly admit it in front of his father, that he genuinely loved being an uncle. Or that he found holding and sniffing his niece’s head calming. Shiv had looked down on you for embracing motherhood and it had perplexed Roman at first, he wouldn’t admit this but now he found a weird comfort in seeing you be so gentle and loving to Jonathan and Matilda. None of you had received that and while he was the Roy family court jester, he knew that he was glad that his beloved nephew and niece got that at least. 
“So, where’s Jaws at? I don’t see any stranded penthouse swimmers?” Roman quips, pleased with himself at the joke. 
“Stewy is working, he’ll come later.” You emphasise your husband’s name for the millionth time. 
Earlier in the relationship your father had called Stewy a shark, as if it was a compliment but it had just made you severely uncomfortable. Now your siblings regularly joked about it and Roman very rarely used Stewy’s name, preferring the shark moniker. You loved your brother but you were sure nothing gave him a kick like the discomfort he got out of making his siblings victims to his antics. 
“Does he not remember that there are several bathrooms here with impeccable surfaces for snorting his preferred angel dust?” Roman asks as he swipes his fingers alongside the basin, holding his finger up without a spec of dust on it as if to prove his point. 
“Rome.” You say trying to ignore the growing anxiety. 
“Right, must be some pretty good coke to fuck his memory up that much.” He proudly teases. 
“God, stop please, Rome.” You scold him as gently as possible while starting to leave the bathroom with Matilda.   
“Fine, fine, fine!” He sighs and then quickly perks up again as he asks with a smirk.“You heard about Ken?”
“Yes, of course, I did.” You knew, everyone did. You walk past Roman as you leave the bathroom to then walk back to where you’d left Jonathan with Connor. 
“And…?” 
“I’ll leave the snark to you and Shiv.” You say while cooing at Tillie, giving her your full attention. 
Roman scoffs but continues to follow you and then he sees Grace and heads over to talk to her. You let him be, glad for a bit of respite from his antics as you see Connor. Who is without a doubt, the safest space of a person in your father’s penthouse. 
“Hey, sweetie.” Connor says smiling at you. “Let me take her?” He offers softly. You nod and place your young daughter gently into his arms, he looks down smiling at her. 
“Oh she’s gorgeous, you’re so small and cute Tillie. She reminds me of you when you use to sleep as a baby. Just wow.” He looks at you and smiles. “How are you doing?” 
“I’m okay.” You scratch your eyebrow. You were so nervous about being here without Stewy “It’s just been weird, having to change my medication during pregnancy and we’ve changed it again now. It’ll take a little longer to kick in is all.” 
“Hey, it’s okay, that’s okay. You can spend more time at the ranch, yeah? With or without the kids.” He gives you a large loving smile, it’s genuine. One of the only genuine parts of today. “It’s always nice having you around, you know that right?” You smile and nod at him. You felt out of place often in your family but Connor never did that to you. 
Connor could be described in many ways, he was eccentric, to say the least, but he was also kind and loving. He’d spent most of his life being more of a father to you than Logan had and Connor was without a doubt, a better one. Your elder brother sits down with Tillie still in his arms and you pick up Jonathan. Kissing his head of soft curls that impressively resemble his father’s. You sit across from Connor with Jonathan on your lap as you both listen to him excitedly repeat what Marcia had told him about lunch and surprising his grandfather. 
“Uncle Roro!” Jonathan says excitedly as he sees Roman come over. 
“Hey Jonathan, caused any trouble yet? If Uncle Ken comes, I don’t think anyone would’ve given him a wet willy today so you need to get onto that.” Roman casually suggests to the young boy with his signature grin.
“You’re such a bad role model.” You say as you roll your eyes at your older brother, pressing another kiss to the top of Jonathan’s head as he giggles and Roman smirks as he shrugs at you. 
“At least I’m not the one that’s you know-” He mimes the act of snorting something, you all know what the insinuation is. Jonathan has no idea what’s going on and just looks at his uncle with a large innocent, smile. 
“Roman!” You practically shout as you gently place your hands over Jonathan’s eyes. Roman just starts giggling like a child which just makes the confused but happy young boy giggle as well. Connor rolls his eyes and gives Roman that gentle parent but not impressed older brother look.  
Jonathan immediately goes over to Roman who quickly picks him up. It shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone that Roman was good with kids as he often acted like one but it still was, he and Connor were the best in your family with Jonathan. Roman had a big soft spot for his youngest nephew and Connor was a natural with all kids. But Connor’s no surprise, he was the father that Logan never was. The one you all cried to, who’d been the only one to do the fishing and camping trips that the Roy kids ever went on. 
Roman holds Jonathan for a little bit and then Jonathan comes back to you when Shiv and Tom arrive, Roman leaves to talk to them while you stay seated, bouncing your son on your knee as he keeps talking but then he gets up when he sees Marcia coming over, wanting to talk more about his grandpa’s surprise with her. You didn’t mind Marcia, you knew that wasn’t the case for all your siblings though but she was always polite with you and kind to your children. 
Connor gets up as he becomes thirsty, so you sit down on the floor with Tillie and watch her as she crawls a little around the space. You were almost always ignored by your siblings at these family events, Connor would consistently talk to you but that was because you were both outsiders and it was not in his nature to be cruel, it wasn’t in his nature but to be anything but kind to you. 
Other than that, there would normally be some teasing from Roman, which you’d already endured so it was safe to say you’d probably hit the quota for Roy sibling interactions for the day. If Kendall came there would possibly be a brief chat, probably a question asking where Stewy was, you wouldn’t expect much conversation from him with everything going on. Lastly, Shiv had not acknowledged you. But that was nothing new. It was typical, during lunch she’d maybe say something pointed that sub in for a form of acknowledgement but that would be it. 
Tillie looks up at you and starts laughing as you play a little game of peek-a-boo. You can’t help but feel soothed when seeing her chubby cheeks crease with her large smile and the big brown eyes that match Stewy’s shine at you. You then hear Marcia telling everyone to get into their places for your father’s surprise. You pick Tillie up and stand behind Connor holding her, giving her a few kisses as you sway with her. 
Tillie laughs when Logan comes through with the cousin that you haven’t seen or heard of in years. Your father acknowledges Connor first and your heart breaks when you see Connor’s face fall when Logan completely ignores his gift and moves his attention to Shiv. 
“Oh, hello darling.” Logan says somewhat softer than his usual, naturally irritated tone as his sight turns to you, looking down briefly at Matilda who you’re still holding. He gives you both a quick hug. 
“Happy birthday Dad.” 
“Where’s Stewy?” He questions as he looks at you pulling back from the hug, his voice more serious. 
“He’s working-” You begin to say before your father cuts you off again. 
“Is he coming?” 
“Yes. He’s just running a bit late with work. Sorry, Dad.” 
“No, it’s ah-fine. It’s fine Porce.” He says before Kendall then comes into the penthouse grabbing everyone’s attention. 
They start talking business again so you go back to where you were before and Tillie crawls around while Jonathan eagerly follows his younger sister, sweetly talking to her. After a few minutes, your father calls out that he wants to chat with all of his children, and you feel your heartbeat quicken at that. You look over at your siblings who start heading over to the room, Connor looks at you expectantly waiting for you to join them. 
“I need to go and feed Matilda so that I can sit with Jonathan when lunch is ready. Sorry. Just update me later or send a text.” You answer, your opinion wouldn’t matter, it would go how it always does, whatever Kendall, Roman and Shiv wanted. Connor and Kendall nod and head in, Shiv rolls her eyes at your excuse. You decide to head off before Roman has the chance to make an inappropriate comment. 
Marcia had been kind enough to have quickly put some equipment into the penthouse to make these functions a bit easier. One of the spare rooms now had a cot in it for Tillie and a good chair for you to feed her in. You make your way to this room carrying Tillie and Jonathan following behind. You feed Tillie while Jonathan sits at the desk and draws. Eventually, the youngest of your children falls asleep after being fed and you put her into the cot. 
You head to the dining room with Jonathan, holding his small hand. Connor comes over to check in which you appreciate and you end up sitting next to him at the table with Jonathan on your lap. The conversation goes how it always does. You notice that something seems wrong with Kendall though. You look at Connor and he whispers in your ear what had been revealed during the private conversation of your father with your siblings that you had missed. You sigh at the revelation and feel the ball of dread coming back to haunt you at that. It was only going to get more tense. 
About halfway through lunch Stewy finally comes. 
He immediately makes eye contact with you and smiles, which you gladly return. He leans down to greet Marcia and kiss her on the cheek, Marcia and Stewy had always genuinely gotten along. Maybe it was another reason why Shiv didn’t like Marcia, she was polite with Tom but genuinely got along well with Rava and Stewy. He then stands by your chair, with a hand on your shoulder, he rubs a few circles comfortingly there as he presses a kiss to the top of your head and then one to Jonathan’s as well. 
“Well, look who decided to show up. Where the fuck have you been?” Logan directs at Stewy. Stewy flashes Logan a large smile and dryly chuckles as he nods. You sigh out as 
“Happy birthday Sir Roy. Sorry about that, you know how it-” 
“Right.” Logan says immediately cutting Stewy off as he narrows his eyes a little at your husband. 
You feel yourself freeze up a little at your father’s acknowledgement of Stewy. There’s always a looming intensity when in your father’s presence and even if you were in one of his houses, around your siblings when Logan wasn’t around it was still a shadow hiding the sunlight of freedom and comfort. 
But the intensity of your world of a father feels more engulfing right now. You look up at Stewy who has a smirk on his face as he looks at Logan. Your father doesn’t look impressed but he doesn’t say anything more. 
Your father had a strong disdain for pretty much all of his children’s partners, Grace was like a mild version of Rome in terms of humour and personality, and your father had always made it abundantly clear that he thought something was wrong with Roman. Rava and Logan embodied what the other thought was disturbing, Logan had a way of believing that Kendall and Rava’s marital situation and every issue was her fault and that applied to everything relating to Sophie and Iverson and you knew for a fact she was a good, present, patient and loving mother and had embodied that as a partner with Kendall as well.  
Shiv was the golden child, the favourite. It made sense with that in mind that your father had never approved of any partner she’d had, he openly viewed Tom as beneath Shiv. Logan seemed to go between amused and irritated at Tom’s incessant desire to be liked and to gain Logan’s approval. 
Your father also had a complicated history regarding his opinion of Stewy. Stewy’s place in the world made your father view him as still not an equal but not anywhere near as beneath you all as he did with Tom. Logan had initially somewhat approved of the union, he felt that with Stewy’s personality, career and work ethic, it would balance out and protect your timid nature. Your father had always viewed you as extremely fragile, hence the nickname Porcelain and Porce. 
But as time went on he had somewhat soured on your beloved husband, this was due to a few different factors that your father was open about. Stewy was a great networker, and would rarely turn down a chance to talk about work or find out work tea from others but he had viewed Waystar as a family matter that didn’t concern him, he didn’t jump at the chance to try and win your father over or do business favours for him which Logan disliked. 
Logan had problematic opinions of Iverson and Sophie because of their parentage, he had a weird relationship with your children. He was kinder to them than what you remember him ever being with you and your siblings but you’d read that that wasn’t rare in abusive families. They were favoured as your nieces and nephews as your children had been biological but Logan did have issues with them being Hosseinis and you practically being one as well. As a healthier life and family unit had been created with Stewy and you were around your father less your father blamed that on Stewy. He’d gone from thinking Stewy was a good, protective force to that he was a shark that had manipulated his sweet, mild-mannered daughter. 
You softly squeeze Stewy’s hand as his gaze looks down at you, he squeezes your hand back softly and sits down next to you. Roman hums the Jaws theme as Stewy does but you all completely ignore him as Roman then whispers something to Shiv.  Jonathan moves from your lap and climbs over to Stewy’s with a few giggles. You laugh a little and tuck a looser curl that was moved during the commotion to behind Jonathan’s ear, Connor notices and smiles. 
Stewy wraps one arm around Jonathan and bounces him on his knee and his free hand holds your hand that’s on the table. 
“Where’s Tillie?” Stewy asks. 
“Sleeping upstairs!” Jonathan quickly says and Stewy nods, as he looks around the room. His gaze lands on Kendall and he notices something is off, he then looks at you to see if you’ve noticed. 
You give Stewy a small nod and then lean over, placing a hand on his shoulder as you quietly whisper into his ear what Connor had revealed to you earlier in the meal. Stewy’s doe eyes widen slightly but noticeably and his dark eyebrows quickly raise and then he glances over at Kendall and your father for a second. Jonathan then begins to talk to Stewy who attentively listens as Jonathan tells him about his day so far and how the surprise went. 
You hear somebody say something about the game and you want to leave now. It was never fun, everyone was cruelly competitive and even layered up, and the weather wasn’t super pleasant. It wouldn’t be good for 2 young children. You quickly excuse yourself with the excuse that you’re going to check on Matilda. Stewy watches you carefully and Marcia gives you a tight-lipped smile as you walk off. 
Stewy looks at Connor who nods and then Stewy leaves to follow you. But is then questioned by Kendall who goes over to him and both men leave the dining room. 
“She knows about the papers right? Did she tell you about the papers?” Kendall immediately asks as soon as they’re out of earshot.
“Are you okay man?” Stewy stops walking as he asks Kendall. 
“Something’s off-he’s unwell, acting strange.” 
“Are you okay?” 
“You know Roy etiquette, don’t ask questions like that on what should’ve been Coronation Day. So?” 
“Connor told her, she mentioned it a few minutes ago.” 
“She won’t sign, will she? I know she likes Marcy but she won’t sign, right? You can talk her out of it?” Kendall asks looking at him. 
“We haven’t talked about it yet. Any advice I give will be Kendall-less by the way.” Stewy quickly responds and Kendall rolls his eyes at that. 
“So what, my sister’s tamed you into the good little husband that only barks when asked to or something?” Kendall asks. 
“Oh yes, The Taming of the Stew. The best modern Shakespeare adaptation to date. Your sister should get a Tony for that one or something.” Stewy smugly quips back, as he bites for a second at the top of his thumbnail before walking off to the spare room where Marcia keeps the cot. Kendall scoffs and walks back. 
“Hey, you okay?” Stewy asks after closing the door behind him and walking over so that he can wrap his arms around you as you both stand by the cot watching your perfect little daughter sleep, completely undisturbed and untouched by the drama downstairs. 
“If you think of a convincing reason for us to not go to the game and we leave. I’ll marry you.” You say softly and place your arms over his, making him hold you a bit tighter. 
“If memory serves correctly, we’re already married. Happily, I believe.” He chuckles a little and presses a kiss to your shoulder. “So we’re already overachieving frankly.”
“Well, I’ll marry you again. Let you put another bun in the oven-” You start as you sway a little in his arms looking at Tillie. 
“Don’t make dangerous promises like that here.” Stewy says, pressing a few kisses to the side of your neck and you let out a small laugh at how his beard tickles. “They were starting to get ready to leave, I’m sure it won’t be too much of a big deal. Especially if your dad thinks you’ll sign Marcy on.” 
“Does he think that? Did he say something else?” You anxiously ask turning to face Stewy now. 
“Probably. You and Marcia get on better than the others. Kendall asked me to talk you out of it.” You do feel sorry for Kendall over what happened today but you roll your eyes at that and rub your brow. 
“Yeah, I think we should go.” Stewy nods at that and you carefully lift Tillie out of the cot and start to get her ready before the three of you head downstairs. 
“Porce, are you not coming?” Logan asks as he sees the three of you. 
“No, sorry Dad. Tillie had a bug not too long ago and with the wind and that I don’t want to risk it again even with her being bundled up. I think I’m getting a headache anyway Dad. I’m sorry.” 
Logan looks at you, his unimpressed gaze softens a little but not by much. You’d had chronic headaches throughout your life, especially your adolescence and you don’t use it as an excuse often so he takes it a bit seriously. 
“Well-” He starts. 
“It was really nice to see you, Dad, the kids had fun. I’ll bring them back later when maybe things are a bit more quiet later in the week?” You ask, somewhat anxiously.
He’s giving you that look like you are fragile. He has a particular softness for you and Shiv because of his misogyny and the feminity you share, even if Shiv tries to adopt masculinity and fit into a never-ending game of trying to win the patriarchy. But you know he views you as weaker. 
“Of course. You heard about the papers?” 
“Yes, Dad. We’ll look at them when we have a bit more time and my head’s better. Okay?” He nods and then his gaze moves to Stewy. Logan begins to believe that the headache is something for Stewy’s sake and not because you genuinely don’t want to spend another minute here. 
“Show up late and fuck off early, the family man?” Logan asks Stewy, who just sighs. It’s not the first time Stewy has been on the receiving end of Logan’s disdain and he knows it won’t be the last. “Your commitment to your work is admirable, it’s great- sure! Except when it’s fucking over my daughter and family.” 
His voice isn’t super loud but the tone is strong and commanding. Connor looks over as he holds Jonathan, walking back a bit so Jonathan won’t hear anything. Shiv’s eyes widen and she watches the scene play out like an eagle waiting to swoop on its prey. 
“Logan you know that’s not the-” Stewy says in his best diplomatic son-in-law voice. 
“Oh, fu-” 
“Dad, please?” You timidly cut in, your widened, doe-eyed gaze flicking between him and Stewy. You look sad and Logan can see it. 
Shiv rolls her eyes at this, of course, you cut in with the timid, youngest daughter bullshit she thinks.  Logan grunts and nods, ignoring Stewy as he tells you to rest up. You get Jonathan from Connor and say some succinct and painfully tense goodbyes to the rest of your family as you and Stewy leave. 
As you’re in the car with Stewy and your children, you rest your head against his shoulder and sigh. The tight ball of dreadful anxiety dissipates with each mere mile away from that penthouse you get. Stewy rubs your arm softly and places a few gentle kisses on the top of your head.  
“So, is afternoon naptime, practice babymaking number 3 time as well? 2 for 1 type of deal?” Stewy whispers with a small smile as he gives you another gentle kiss. You let out a little laugh at that and roll your eyes playfully. 
223 notes · View notes
fearthedancer · 4 months
Text
Ok can i be completely honest right now? This fandom has a huge issue. A huge whitewashing issue.
Now before you say: "Oh but legos dont have races! Thats why theyre yellow!!" You dont only need skin color to imply a characters ethnic background. You can also do that with the characters other features like hair, eyes, lips or even stuff like their name. And thats exactly what dreamzzz does.
The most common characters i see whitewashed are Zoey and Logan. I absolutely NEVER see Zoey drawn black, even tho 1. She has twists (which some people draw them as just a side shave) and 2. Her last name is Okoro, indicating she could be igbo.
Tumblr media
As with Logan it goes a bit deeper than that. As the issue takes two forms: 1. When its him being drawn white and 2. When its him being drawn asian, but extremely pale.
First, him being drawn white is obviously an issue because he is canonically asian. His last name is Chan (a surname with chinese origin), he is voiced by Vincent Tong and he is designed to look visibly asian.
Tumblr media
(And before anyone says its eyeliner i found another character with the exact same eye print)
Tumblr media
People often draw him slightly tan with eurocentric features and call him asian. Who the fuck are you deceiving.
Now with the pale issue: this is also an issue i see around in the ninjago fandom. East asian characters liked by the fandom are drawn to appeal to the beauty standards while the ones hated by the fandom are drawn like actual east asian people. Altough Logan is the only east asian character in the show that we currently know of, this does apply to him. And him being pale wouldnt even make sense! He is a soccer and baseball player! That kid plays in the sun for hours!
And Logan isnt even the only asian character that constantly gets whitewashed. Take a look at fanart of Nova! If i didnt tell you, you probaly wouldnt even know shes south asian! In her insomniac club shorts its revealed her last name is Patel, an indian surname btw, yet i dont see ANYONE give a fuck cause i only see white Nova everywhere.
And yes! Mateo and Izzy are also victims of this aswell! Mateo's locs are never drawn right and i see people draw him like 1 shade darker than the others and call him black 😭. Izzie is white washed aswell and sometimes, only her and NOT MATEO?? HUH??? They are siblings 😭😭
Anyways, the moment the fandom actually learns how to depict the characters, we will finally be free.
88 notes · View notes
everythingne · 1 month
Text
out of the woods, 4. ( LS2 )
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
With the fake dating (or real dating?) ploy underway, Dhanishka and Logan meet up to discuss their boundaries and their plans. It ends a bit hotter than either one expected, both physically and emotionally. Logan calls home, Dhanishka meets Olivia, and Lando actually has good advice.
series masterlist
warnings/notes: a pretty heavy makeout scene (again), arguments, implied sexual content (i was BLASTING do it for me while tipsy so... yeah), VERY heated arguments, Dhanishka being fucking STUPID, drinking/drunkeness, I gave Dalton a wife and kids bc i said so? Also, Olivia is from a series of mine called Marketing Ploy, which is the companion fic to this fic, but you do NOT have to read it for anything to make sense &lt;;3
(ch. 3) (ch. 5)
Tumblr media
Logan inviting me to his apartment in London was half him and half Williams PR. See, they (and Ferrari) didn’t want us to claim we were a couple again so soon, they sort of wanted to drag it on. They wanted drama, they wanted fire, we just wanted fucking peace and thus ripped the bandage. We hadn’t spoken much about us, the past, or the present, or what the future could look like. We just were dating. At least, in my eyes, we were dating for the praise of the media. A sloppy hallway makeout didn’t exactly look good when you weren’t dating the person you stained with your lipstick, oddly it looked a lot better when they knew you were a couple.
Or, a ‘couple.’
See, as much as I loved Logan, and he was very easy to love and all… there was a block. A wall of the past we didn’t dare touch. And it was going to eat me alive. Maybe it was just me, maybe I was just crazy, whatever it was I wanted it gone.
So, I come to Logan’s with a bottle of whiskey.
It wasn’t our typical drink of choice (he’d always preferred the vodka I snuck from my Aunties) but it was what I could easily snag from the liquor store with little to no notice and not have to worry about it making me completely dead tomorrow.
When I get to Logan’s apartment, I’m not shocked by his cleanliness. It was the main reason my mother loved him to bits, he was always “so clean, so nice, so well spoken” but when it was just the two of us—like now, I saw the true Logan peek out when I notice the suitcase propping his bedroom door open is lived out of.
“Fireball?” He hums when I set the bottle in his hands and use the wall to stabilize myself as I take off my heels, “do you want me to fucking die?”
“Maybe.” I tease, looking up, and that tension flares across us again. There’s a pause, his hand hovering halfway to me like he’s trying to grab something or hold me or something along those lines. But I push past him to grab two wine glasses from the wine rack in his kitchen that I know he doesn't use. He follows me, eyes on my back before sliding up my face slowly as I turn to face him.
“Wine glasses?” He hums and I shrug, sitting at his bar and popping open the Fireball. He laughs and sits next to me and I pour two roughly shot sized wine glasses of pure cinnamon whiskey. I hand him his and hold mine up. There's the chime of his laugh as he swirls his glass and then clinks his to mine. Tapping the glasses on the counter once, we then down the whiskey, and Logan makes the sour face I’m expecting as I sit calm.
Logan took shots well for someone who hated the taste of straight liquor.
“So.” I say to him, leaning forward, “what’s the plan for this whole—PR dating thing.”
“Well, I do everything I didn’t do properly when I was dating you.” Logan leans to meet me halfway across the counter and if I lean in, I know our lips will collide. I hum, tilting my head as I think of what to say. And his eyes flicker down and back up.
"Do you ever leave the house without that lipstick on?" He muses softly, his hand finding my knee, "Isa, you're gonna drive me crazy."
"I've worn it since you gave it to me, so it's really your fault." I shrug, pouring myself another shot, Logan just smiles, watching as I take another shot. I always was a two-to-one ratio with him when it came to drinking.
"Going back a bit, when we were dating, we were both inexperienced and you still were a pretty damn good boyfriend." I resist the urge to just take another shot, but Logan pours us both another, making my shot the size of two, and when he hands me the glass I murmur, "Good enough to make my standard so high I can't see myself with any other guy."
"Hm?" He turns back, and I naively assume he hadn't heard me clear. I wave my hand in dismissal, feeling a bit of heat warm my face. I know its not from the alcohol.
"Forget it--"
"I, me, Logan Sargeant, set your standard so high you can't see yourself with any other guy?" He sits down next to me at the bar stools pulled up to his counter and I swirl my drink and stare at it like it's the most interesting thing in the world. I can feel his smirk on his lips, the way his eyes travel along my skin. It makes me wanna hit him. I hate him so much. But yet I love him double that.
"Don't let it get to your head." I hum, taking half the liquor in my glass, pausing and then finishing it off, "We're only dating again for PR."
As soon as the words come out of my mouth I regret it, but instead of backing down, Logan leans closer and hums, tracing his thumb along my lips where the lipstick has smudged down and he murmurs, "And yet you show up here, tiny little dress, Valentino lipstick, that fucking perfume... if its just for PR, why are you dressing up like you did for every date we ever went on?"
Why is he so damn cocky, and why is it so fucking hot?
"I don't dress up for you." I had dressed up for him. I hadn't expected him to pick up on it so soon.
"Why are you being so difficult?" He almost grovels, his hand moving to grab my chin and force me to look at him when I scoff and turn away.
"Why are you being so pushy, Sargeant?" I let venom into my tone, and I note his eyes darken. What was he, a hate fuck? A grin crosses my lips as I continue, "We're here to figure out what we're doing for PR, not to fuck, you whore."
I lean back from his touch and he's off his chair to chase my skin. Logan already towers over me on a good day, so being sitting underneath him is a new feeling. He uses my knee to turn my chair so he can place his hands on either side of me, boxing me in, for once its stuffy and uncomfortable between us.
"You've taken such a tone with me since getting here, up to the big leagues. You might've knocked me down then, but I'm gonna be on top of you this time." Logan glances down at me, and it's almost predatory. I want to have all of him and none of him at once.
"You say that like you've ever been on top of me." I bring a hand to his chest, the material of whatever old shirt he's wearing has been thinned over the years, and I slowly drag my hand up to his throat. I can see the chills break from the drag of my nails, before I grab at the base of his throat and pull him down to match me, "God, I fucking hate you so much."
"Do you know?" He hums, tapping my knee with one hand, pressing his warm palm to my thigh as his fingers tease at the end of the skirt, "why'd you cross your legs then?"
I roll my eyes, "are you only confident with alcohol in your system?"
"Wanna find out?" He leans in, pausing right before I lips hit. Just enough of hesitation so I have to confirm by pressing our lips firmly together. He slots too naturally, and it brings a weird feeling to my gut, but I keep going. As much as I don't to admit it, I think I want it twice as much as he does. He's too much, clouding my senses, his hand slides up further. Logan is covered in my touch, my eyes boring into his between slow kisses that are far too deep to just be casual, I can smell the fireball mixing on our hot breaths, every gasp and soft whine that leaves us. He is all I am at the moment, and I am all he is at the moment. It's raw, its painful, its a trust I give up more willingly than I'd like to admit.
"I fucking hate you." I murmur against his lips, "I hate the way you make me feel."
"Do you want to stop?" His question is so innocent it makes me hate him more.
"Don't you fucking dare." My hand tightens on the base of his neck and his eyes roll before he settles his forehead against the juncture where my shoulder and neck meet.
His voice is breathy after he places a few kisses that have me leaning into him, teeth nipping where he knows my uniform will cover marks as he bites, "you torture me, looking like that, sounding like that."
"Bit braver now than you were at nineteen." I tease, my second hand finally detaching from my lap to grab at his waist and he lifts his head.
"Listen, you were out of my league." He smiles against my lips innocently. His hand placement and the way he kisses me after is anything but innocent. I let out a low groan, pulling him in once more by the neck until that arm slots around his shoulders to keep him tight against me as I try and gain my footing once more.
"Wanna prove you can come to my league then." I say and my hand slides and he grins, neediness takes over the next kiss and I let the planning aspect of this relationship slip my mind.
Maybe we just needed a hate fuck, and thats why we couldn't get the hell off each other.
Tumblr media
The world comes back slowly to me, his hand on my waist, the soft snore of the man besides me and I feel like a fucking idiot. The sky is warming, the clock on the wall reads around seven in the morning, and I'm surprised I slept this late. As I detach myself from Logan, I find an odd yearning to it, the domestic feeling of covering him up after and then making my way to the bathroom. Even with the domestic warming my heart, my stomach gnaws in anxiety and something akin to fear.
I mean, it wasn't the first time we'd slept together, but there was something different about it. Something between those moments of heat, his heart had intertwined with mine amidst the mess of limbs.
God, I was in deep now, wasn't I?
I shove my face under the water of Logans shower, the warm water waking me up a bit more as I let out a soft sigh as it rolls across bites and bruises.
Charles was going to lose his fucking mind.
When I'm done, Logan's awake, propped up as he watches me exit the bathroom with my hair in loose braid. His smile grows cocky as he sees the marks barely hidden by one of his William's tees I'd stolen. I don't hesitate to come to his side and his arm lifts to fix a stray hair that falls from behind my ear before pressing a soft kiss to my lips.
"G'mornin'." His voice is gravelly from just waking up and I return the greeting, settling to sit on the bed next to him. I don't even think about it as I start fixing up his hair.
"I know its early, but you wanted to talk about the relationship stuff."
"I did." I hum, letting my hand rest on his chest as he rolls back onto his back, looking up at me with a tiny smile.
"Well, we could have more nights like last night, more mornings like these, cute little dates... you know, the works..." He waves a hand, "if you want that."
"I don't know how much the nights and mornings will help PR." I hum and Logan scoffs. Instantly I know I've said something wrong as he props himself back up and looks me dead in the eyes with a look that would make most people shy away.
"How much of this is PR? Did you fuck me because of fucking PR, Dhanishka?" His voice is sharp, irritated immediately, and I don't know where to go from here. Somehow him not calling me Isa, a nickname I used to despise, makes me feel sick.
And I hesitate before I say, "Logan, we chose to do this because it was what was best to save both of our images. I would be stupid not to think about that."
"Is that all this will be to you then? PR?" Logans now fully sitting up and we feel too close. It's too much, but not in the way it was last night, this feels almost threatening.
"I mean, no..." But my voice is so unconvincing Logan just blinks before laughing, running a hand through his hair and messing it up even after I had fixed it before he just groans.
"I don't know why I thought I would get anywhere with you, Dhanishka." He murmurs into his palm, looking over at me with almost hatred in his eyes and I swallow hard. I can't even think of anything to do other than just stare at him.
So, Logan continues to rip my heart out, "I didn't do this because of PR. I could care less! All these people fucking hate me anyways! I could care less about PR and management and my image, because I could've just had us again. Do you know how long I've wanted to just hold you? Just talk to you? But I respected your space because I knew I broke it off and it would've been wrong for me to try that again, and seeinfg you again brought every ounce of love back to the surface... and then you say that?"
"I don't have a guaranteed seat for the next two seasons like you do, Logan, I have to be perfect!" I counter, "I love you, I do, but racing has to come first for me now, I have to be--I have to be more than I've ever been. I don't get a second chance, I don't get an option B like you do. This is it!"
"You're on your second chance, Trident was you first--"
"Oh don't you fucking start with Trident!" I growl, standing up and making space between us even when, in this moment of anguish in my heart, I crave nothing more than his touch, "I had nothing to do with that crash! I don't know how many times I have to tell you!"
"You seriously had no idea?" He says, softer, baiting, and I bite the hook.
"Yes!" I cry, waving my hands in desperation, "no one believes me! I dont--"
"I don't believe you either." Logan's voice is monotone and dead. The room falls silent after it and it's exactly what I've been terrified of him saying. My hands shake as I watch him stand and walk towards me, towering over me as he just sighs like he's just disappointed in me.
He looks gutted, like I had broken up with him, he looks the way he had when he shouted at me. I suddenly feel seventeen again, like a little girl with big eyes as everyone watched in her in the BWT garage as she was broken up with. I feel the prickly feeling of a thousand eyes watching us, even though we're completely alone in his flat.
As I meet his eyes, darker than any shade of blue I'd ever seen, I try to swallow down my guilt, but words he says next make my heart stop in my throat, "I knew I couldn't ever trust you or love you the same way again. And I tried, and you just used me for what? A hate fuck to get the stress out?"
"Logan, please!" I counter and he grabs my phone, handing it to me from the bedside as his voice is taught, its raw, and tears are in his eyes. I can't move.
"No, I know what this is. Get the fuck out of my flat."
And like that, the world crumbles under my feet.
Tumblr media
It's four in the morning when Dalton's phone lights up the next day. Logan can picture him groaning as Ashlynn smacks him in the chest until he answers it based on just how groggy Dalton says the words, "Logan? You good?"
"No." Logan's voice is terribly raw. It didn't take an idiot to know something was wrong and yeah, Logan feel terrible for calling on Dalton this late but he didn't know who else to go to.
"Fuck, man, hold on." Dalton sits up and Logan listens as he murmurs something to Ashlynn and climbs out of the safe warmth feeling of his bed with his wife.
"Sorry, mate." Logan apologizes. he feels terrible for calling Dalton so late, but he knows his brother doesn't mind. Years ago, Dalton had said if it was his way, Logan would live right next door to him. Unfortunately, he didn't, and Logan was five hours or so ahead in a flat by himself.
"What's going on, Lo?" Dalton asks a bit louder, and if Logan isn't mistaking he thinks he can hear the sound of his brother walking into the kitchen of his little cookie cutter house.
"I fucked up, mate, I don't know what I'm doing." Logan cries into his hand, trying to muffle his voice as best he can. He feels like an idiot, how he though Dhanishka would change, how she would love him.
"What severity is this? Called your elementary teacher mom level or like, I need to flee the country level?" Dalton brings his humor into anything and as much as Logan appreciates the attempt at making him laugh, it just irritates him further.
"I thought Dhanishka still had feelings, kinda had sex with her, and then she just left after we fought..." Logan feels sick when Dalton is silent, so he attempts to add humor, "level."
"Like did she leave before you woke up..?" Dalton asks and Logan realizes he's really given no context. So he explains as best he can, biting his lip at the awkward parts, and then sighing as he explains,
"I just... thought she felt different. That we were actually dating and not like... some sort of PR-stunt-hate-fuck-thing."
Dalton is quiet before he lets out a slow sigh and Logan can perfectly picture his brother pushing blond stands of hair from his bedhead, and running the hand along his head until it falls to his neck as he says, "Well, you should've spoken before... sleeping together. But also, she's wrong for not making that clear, but also you're wrong for assuming. It's a big tricky situation, and it seems like she won't be very positively receptive to... talking, about the situation."
Logan can only find the energy to say, "She probably fucking hates me, Dalton."
"Hey, now." Dalton says softly, "she wouldn't have let you do what you did if she didn't also like you, I know Isa--she'd kick you right in the balls, Logan. But also... Isa's got a lot of pressure on her right now, not even including Ferrari, everyone and their mothers are hyper analyzing her every move. The PR cover-up works, but people are still calling her all sorts of things online. Things they aren't calling you.
You aren't the only thing in her life. But she's told you, racing comes first, and you have to decide what to do with that."
"I want to be on the same level of racing, or even a close second to it. I know it's our career but I have always seen us ending up together." Logan looks at the sun now peeking over the other apartment builds around him.
"But she hasn't been seeing that too, Logan." Dalton reasons, "any relationship is a two way street, and you have to make sure what your partner wants is also what you want. You want a relationship, Dhanishka wnts something that keeps her PR agents happy. You have different ideals, it's not time for a real relationship."
Logan hates how right Dalton is, and just sighs out a soft, "I guess..."
"You still have to fake date, I'm sure. But listen... just fake date, do what you have to do and see where it goes. Either she sees she does want a relationship or you see that she will still pick racing over you and go from there." Dalton yawns, "Or, you ditch the whole plan."
"I can't really back out now or it'll be worse." Logan hums, "but I'll see where this bullshit takes me."
Tumblr media
"Olivia!" Lando shouts into his flat. He leaves me at the door to take off my shoes as I wipe under my raw eyes and kick the heels into a corner. Bumbling down the hallway in a mess of her usual at home state, I meet eyes with Olivia Piastri. The head analyst of Red Bull, the woman who had her own fake-dating past with her now fiance who awkwardly tucks out of view in his McLaren hoodie once he knows Olivia's seen me.
"Dhanishka, oh, honey!" She cooes, quickly coming down the hall to bring me into a hug. The second her arms are around me, I burst into tears, she shushes me and kisses my hairline, slowly bringing me to the couch. She had been the one to approach me about the Vogue interview since Ophelia had been stuck in Australia. After that, she became a friend to have in the paddocks, and now a shoulder to sob into.
"I'm so confused and tired and--" I cut off with a hiccup and Olivia nods. While I would've perferred the hands of my sister, mother, father, or even Charles to wipe away my tears, Olivia is exceptionally gentle and nods as I sob out confused sentences.
"Tell me what happened," Olivia says once I've calmed and I spit out angry sentences about Logan and his confusing actions and how I feel like I'm missing something. My tears are my displaced anger, I'd only ever been able to cry when I was angry. I had never been sure why. Olivia knows what's happening before I even do, she's already pieced it all together.
"When Lando and I were figuring it out, I was the same as you. I was so caught up in officiality that I forgot I loved Lando as much as he loved me. I was afraid he wouldn't love me if not for that contract, and so to save myself from heartbreak I kept telling myself it was just an act." Olivia wipes my tears now that I'm calm, and Lando comes in with some teas for us, before settling down on the chair across from us.
"Me buying you a Coach purse was not for media." Lando hums and Olivia turns to flip him off before turning back to me.
"You and Logan have a lot of mistrust and fear with you both already. Honestly, whoever said it would be a good idea for you to do this and let you. Even after knowing the disaster it was for Lando and I? They are a damn idiot and I'm sorry they did that to you both." Olivia hands me my tea and I sip it, lemon and lavender hitting my taste buds and I want to cry.
"But, here's what I have to ask," She takes a sip of tea for pause and then asks, "do you love Logan? Like, honestly, truly, without PR, love Logan?"
I let the feelings coming to my chest hit me.
Back when we'd started dating, we were teens with stars in our eyes. It was love, pure love.
Logan had been so hesitant to hold me hand. Oscar had spent a week telling Logan to kiss me so I'd stop complaining to my friends he hadn't yet. He helped me grow into my confidence with femininity and I helped him find his sense of self and got him that cocky confidence I loved. We had circled each other, one always just a bit ahead of the other, never to far. And then he shattered it.
I put my heart back together with Kintsugi, healed it, made myself more beautiful. But the metal against the soft skin of my heart made it hurt, made me break, made me angry. His breakup intensified my anger with racing, and the anger I felt was more so for Trident than Logan.
Logan healed his heart with patience, held himself together by threads, waited to give it to me because he knew I could fix it. All I had done was taken his heart and shattered it even further than before.
Now, here we are. It is still the same love as when we were teens, but the stars in our eyes are long gone now.
"I think I do." I whisper in a shake of anguish. All I wanted was to go back to Logan and apologize.
"You can't think it," Olivie advises, poking my arm to keep me rooted on the couch, "You have to know it."
"And if you can't know it, here's what I think." Lando speaks up, tilting his head at me, "you go along with the fake dating until PR says you can cut it. If at that point, you're still not sure, cut it. Don't string him down a path of confusion and concern. During our fake dating thing, I loved Olivia the whole time, but I had to make her fall for me after a while. She did eventually, and I think you will too."
I nod, sighing softly, arms numb and mind scrambled. I find enough sense to whisper,
"Lets see where this shit takes me."
Tumblr media
taglist (open, and thank you to those on it now!)
@chasing-liberosis @justsomejess @struggling-with-delia
56 notes · View notes
pynkhues · 11 months
Note
literally sooo fascinated by logan and caroline's marriage tbh. give us all your thoughts!! (if you want ahah)
Oh, man, I could talk about them all day, haha. I kinda feel like people can sometimes rob both Caroline and Logan of any nuance, because yeah, sure, they’re often the central antagonists of the series, and their abuse and neglect of their children permeates the series, but the show’s always also been careful to show that the cycle of violence never started with Logan, and Harriet Walter’s talked in interviews too about the cycle of neglect not starting with Caroline either. They’re victims and perpetrators in the same way that Kendall, Roman and Shiv are victims and perpetrators, and the fact that neither of them were able to break that cycle is the exact sort of tragedy that's at the broken heart of this series.
It makes it really fascinating to me in that sense that Caroline and Logan found each other at all, and I think really slots into what we know about his three marriages – namely, that he marries women who are in some ways as damaged by life’s cruelties as he is. We understand that explicitly with Marcia, who pretty much says out loud that their connection has been born out of the fact that they’re both survivors, but I think it’s implied in his relationships with both Caroline and Connor’s mother too. At least Marcia and Connor’s mother became somethink like partners for a while too – Marcia was a co-conspirator with Logan for the bulk of season 1, and the RECNY Ball episode I think also showed that Connor’s mother, for at least a while, was the sort of socialite who could lubricate and work politicians alongside Logan.
We don’t really know what role Caroline played in that sense, but she’s obviously intelligent and savvy enough to have worked to secure the kids real power in the divorce, something we see her give back to Logan in 3.09. We also know that her title gave Logan the class elevation that he wanted (even if its one he also seems to bitterly resent), and that his money gave her security, and in a lot of ways, that’s a strategic match that sees them both step forwards in power together.
I was actually listening to an old episode of Vanity Fair’s Succession podcast recently where they interviewed Dame Harriet Walter, and she talks quite a lot about Caroline’s backstory.
She says that Caroline was born into a neglectful aristocratic family, an only daughter who due to the social structures of British aristocracy, wouldn’t have inherited her father’s estate as a result of her gender. Instead, his estate would’ve gone to a distant male cousin, which ties into what Connor says in 1.09 to Willa about the house being the ancestral home Caroline didn't inherit.
She was disregarded by her family but encouraged to marry rich, and she sees Caroline as having gone through a bit of a wild child phase, that she partied, used drugs, tried to escape herself. That she was probably featured frequently in the social columns ‘in disgrace’, and then married young to a rich British man who bored her. She sees Caroline as having escaped to New York on a trip, and met Logan who dazzled her. Who was the opposite of the men she’d grown up with, the men who’d cut her out of her own inheritance, and that he was exciting and creating something and married too, and that they likely left their spouses for each other. That he married for a title, but he also married her because he found her fun and funny and different from the other women of her class and station.
I actually love that backstory a lot, and in particular I think it feeds into the themes of cycles on this show, both with Shiv, but also in Caroline being cut out by her own family, and then cut out by the one she tried to make for herself, and the damage that likely caused her. It also I think really beautifully depicts this idea of legacy and succession which is so crucial to the show – that Logan can spend a childhood brutalised by a man who’d give him just enough to build an empire on and that Caroline can spend a childhood in luxurious neglect with parents who will leave her with nothing.
What that meant for their relationship - - I think they did love each other, as much as they could love anyone, and I think that vulnerability between them was something that probably allowed them as true an intimacy as they’d ever have for a while. I also think that that vulnerability and that intimacy gave them power over one another that they’d use often and likely cruelly, and that the final years of their marriage were probably torturous for both of them.
After all, at the end of the day, Logan had the wealth Caroline could marry but never inherit, and Caroline had the title Logan could marry but never inherit, and what is that if not a reminder of the poisoned soil they sprung from?
232 notes · View notes
bpdjennamaroney · 10 months
Text
throughout the series shiv consistently holds back in fights with tom, like you can’t tell me she ever really broke out the artillery with that man. calling him a social climber is such a surface-level criticism, even her saying “i don’t like you” was a declawed attack on the neuroses and insecurities that would have really pushed tom to the brink.
we’ve seen her go no-holds-barred with kendall, or almost no-holds-barred: kendall’s kids are off-limits. like, it’s implied that even logan never brought up the fertility issues to kendall’s face. but roman does. i think it was his way of deflecting attention away from shiv but still, it was an absolutely insane line to cross.
oh and while i’m stream of consciousnessing…there are so many things that the revelation about kendall’s kids puts in a new perspective but that time he mocked shiv and said “it’s your teats that give you any value…” in a way they each had what the other lacked
274 notes · View notes
transmutationisms · 10 months
Note
logan engineering tom as ceo from beyond the grave so that his real grandkid stays in succession....god there's so much to think about here in terms of the family structure (thinking about logan reading iverson the storybook in s3, about logan drinking fertility smoothies....the show called succession was about succession all along!!) I'm so curious for your thoughts!!!!!!
it does work for logan's interests in a certain way, yeah! at the end of the day, i don't think logan ever would have been capable of actually naming a successor, because even though he tried to use his kids as proxies for himself, no one was ever going to be able to measure up. like, what he really wanted was his own immortality; his kids were always going to flop in his eyes, simply by virtue of not being his own literal body. but at the same time, one of the things he specifically punished kendall for was not producing what he considered to be a legitimate heir—a judgment that arose from a combination of logan's misogyny, racism, ableism, and obsession with consanguinity. so it put the board in a position where kendall was not an obvious choice, and matsson perceived tom as a useful puppet.
for logan's posthumous interests, this is a win in the sense that his biological grandkid will now have skin in the game. it's also a loss in the sense that matsson is most likely going to dismantle a lot of the company for scrap. so, the biological legacy survives in some sense; the financial one is pretty much dead. the company has also been represented by, and representative of, logan's physical body: from the beginning of the show, both appeared as these aging relics from a bygone era, controlling the political/corporate arena as well as the roy family; both were ailing, etc. this is also partly why the siblings were ultimately so determined to keep the company, especially roman, who saw matsson's takeover effort as his essentially desecrating logan's body/legacy.
anyway, to return to fertility and offspring, yeah this was always the mechanism by which logan tried to ensure his own survival past his impending death. he wanted a successor who was his biological offspring, who could produce offspring of their own and consolidate an empire around a bloodline. in this way he perceived that he would still be living on through the others (hence also his possessiveness over his children, including their sexual behaviours). but he never accepted iverson and sophie as filling this role for the aforementioned reasons, and even in the one scene where we see him really trying to be grandfatherly with iverson, he disdains him for reading a book he perceives as juvenile, asking kerry for something "with some action" (suggesting logan sees iverson's implied autism as a defect of his masculinity as well).
ultimately the empire logan wanted to create attains a very hollow victory, though of course the individual players are all still wealthy and materially cosseted. kendall's infertility is not the cause for logan's persistent disdain of him, but it sort of symbolises and sums up the way in which kendall could never live up to his father's standards for a male heir, no matter how much he shaped his life and sense of self around logan's demands. connor and roman will presumably never have kids, and shiv's kid won't have much of an empire left to inherit, plus logan would have strenuously preferred the line of succession going through one of his sons. his kids have always been trapped in the family (except connor, who was locked out of it), yet they've still ultimately failed to consolidate the sort of blood-bound empire logan always wanted.
169 notes · View notes
vclvetfleur · 8 months
Text
Obedient Chapter 20
Tumblr media
Roman Roy x fem! reader
Summary: After the embarrassing live interview, you were sent to Logan's office. Shiv feels sorry for you and decides to invite you and Roman to dinner with her and Tom.
TW: implied child abuse, Logan Roy, sexism
WC: 6.9K
Notes: I've been super busy, but I finally updated. And this is the longest chapter I've ever written :))
Chapter 20: Casey Anthony
Roman entered his father’s office, unsure if Logan was going to start berating him, but he wouldn’t be past Logan to do so. He carefully opened the door before sliding his body inside. “Uh-hey Dad, you needed me?” He spoke softly and carefully. He wasn’t allowed to look away from Logan when greeting him. He learned that the hard way when younger. Romans' hands fidgeted before leaning up against one of Logan’s suede chairs.
“Yes. Did you know about this shit?” Logan asked, passing Roman the phone. Logan slid it across his desk, making Roman leave his safe distance from Logan to get closer to evaluate the screen. But he knew what it would be but played it dumb. “Uh- what was I supposed to know?” Roman genuinely wondered. It could’ve been a number of things. Did he know about the article? Did he know your history with them? Did he know you were so fucked up? “Did you know she’s fucked in the head, son?” Logan carefully said, making you and Roman feel small. Roman shook his head no, knowing he should defend you, but was too scared to do so.
“Uh- no Dad… I mean she seemed more normal than all of us… Come on, you’ve met her.” He tried every bit that he could defend in a sly way by making Logan think he actually wasn’t.
“Yes, I did. She’s definitely smart. But I never met her. I don’t know anything about her. And clearly, you don’t either.” Logan tried to sting Roman. Logan wasn’t as annoyed as earlier, knowing this would be dealt with. It was even his idea to send you off to a TV interview after Hugo suggested you do another interview.
Logan knew how smart you were. You were able to talk your way into a lot from what Logan could see. He would eventually use it for his own gain. He knew you were a game piece he could now move around for his own gain and wins. You were definitely smarter than most of his kids, possibly just as smart as Shiv. But you were still a woman. But you had the wittiness Roman had without being disgusting, Shiv’s ideals, and Kendall’s ‘touch with the youth’. You could be useful for women, younger CEOs, and even liberal older individuals. But he knew some would never take you seriously. Until you talked maybe.
“Well- I have another thing. GoJo… What do we think?” He passed it by Roman. As it seemed, Kendall was out so Roman was the best possible option once Gerri was out of office. Shiv could be good, but once again, she was a woman. She was in her feelings way too often, at least Logan assumed so.
“What do I think? Uhm- yea… What do you think?” Roman asked. He wasn’t going to pass a deal his father didn’t approve of.
“I didn’t ask you what I thought. I thought what you thought.” Logan grew annoyed with Roman’s answer. This was Logan’s issue with Roman. He had no opinions. If Logan thought something, Roman followed. He didn’t know how to be his own person. That was why Kendall was always set for greatness. He always knew his stance. Never followed Logan 100%. He said and did as he thought unless beaten into submission. Kendall was tough, but malleable like clay.
“Okay uhm-…” Roman took a minute to think. “Yeah no, GoJo is a great deal. I mean if we took over internet and tech it’d be great. Get rid of the old shit and into the new. I mean no one watches stuff on TV anymore unless it’s streamed and-… uh yeah. No, it’s good.” Roman came to the conclusion. It was only logical for them to go for modernism. They were being outgrown. Newspapers were dying out. Tv was dying out. It’s all about Netflix and websites and whatever all the bullshit was.
“Okay- well… I just needed some insight…” Logan spoke slowly. The news was playing, but it strangely wasn’t ATN. Logan was anticipating your response. He needed to see if this would be a win or an absolute disaster. Before he knew it, the segment started. He leaned in, watching as Jess came up. “Who the fuck is that? I thought you were with the uh- fuck…” Logan forgot how to describe you exactly. He forgot your hair color. He just passed it off.
“Uhm. No Dad, that’s Kendall’s assistant…” Roman reminded as he stared at the television with a growing amount of anxiety. He never meant for this to go this far.
“Oh, uh… yeah…” Logan let out an old man grumble as his words seemed to slide into one another. Logan smiled to himself, knowing this would seemingly get to Kendall. He knew Kendall would have a field day knowing his assistant was backing up the woman he put up false accusations against.
Next, you came through. Roman leaned forward to watch. He watched your face, feeling as though he could be there for you to console you. “Oh please, she’s just a girl, son. Are you that fucking pussy whipped already?” Logan found a reason to pick at him. Roman ignored. It wasn’t worth arguing. Logan never loved anything. Except for dead people who no longer receive his love.
It tore Roman to watch you break down before finally saying what he hadn’t even known. It sent discomfort throughout the room. Everyone who watched themselves felt a sense of heartbreak for you as you recalled everything that had happened. Hugo and Carolina sat in their own office, watching and shifting at the amount of uncomfortable information. It sunk into everyone. This was too serious to be brought up on television. It affected Roman the most. Knowing what he had said and how he mocked your relationship with them the other day set in. He never knew something this horrific could have happened. And to know this was only the stories you were willing to say out loud. You probably had more things hidden under the surface.
“You picked perfectly Roman.” Logan knew what this could mean. It would only mean a gain. Having a victim speak out against other victims or to them now knowing the horrendous things you’ve been put through. It could make you likable. People would listen to you. He knew it and would definitely keep it in the back of his mind. Logan huffed, watching the parents. He worried it’d ruin their reputation. Not what it would do for you. “What the fuck are they doing here? Did they fucking set her up?” Roman asked out loud, putting his hand up to show the screen, and looking over his shoulder at Logan. Logan just watched. “Those fuckers set us up.” Logan grumbled. He knew this was not just an attack on you but on Logan and the company. He wanted to see how this would pan out. And it panned out exactly how Logan wished it would. Roman rubbed his forehead in discomfort watching you scream and insinuate multiple allegations.
But the fact the news network put up people defending a pedophile and their own abuse of a woman who had been working for a company with their own allegations would only sway positively for Waystar. They would think Waystar was a company that would hire a victim. Someone at the company knew pain. She was just like everyone else.
“Roman, when she comes here, let her in.” Logan commanded. Roman wasn’t sure what his father was feeling, but he couldn’t protect you from it. He had to just have this play out the way he has been. It was going to be a never-ending snowball for you. Roman could only nod and wait with his father as they discussed further plans for GoJo and what Roman’s next plans would be. Roman was given the honor of having to handle the case with his father controlling him like a ventriloquist. But for Roman, it was ideal.
You got into the car, laying on Jess’ lap as you sobbed. Gerri was sent a text from Logan to bring you to see him. Gerri couldn’t break this news to you while you were inconsolable. You shook as you buried your head into Jess’ lap. It was like you were a child with your parents. Your inner child was finally allowed to be healed in a slight way. You wept loudly as you couldn’t process them even trying to speak to you. You were fine while leaving, but once the reality of you not even hearing their voice until now hurt. The fact you had forgotten their face killed you. It was like revisiting a dead relative’s grave.
Jess shushed you as she directed you to breath. You. Had to pull yourself together. You sat up, holding yourself, trying to get yourself to stop crying. You looked at Gerri. Her comfort brought you into a calmer state. “You’re okay. You’re safe…” Jess tried to remind you. Before getting to the office, you rid your tears away and did your breathing exercises. You had to put on sunglasses, knowing photographs of you crying would be out. Jess was dropped off before hand and you were pushed through the crowd by security. “Fucking animals.” You mumbled as you were finally able to go into the elevator.
“Okay… y/n, before we go in. Logan had told me he would like to see you.” Gerri finally told you. You understood. You knew this would be a possibility. You sighed, laying your head against the metal walls. You got it together before agreeing to do so as if you had an option to even decline.
The door opened, seeing Roman spot you. He shifted before making his way to you.  “Hey-uh-hi, you doing okay?” He stuttered, checking you as if he would find something physical to show himself that you were doing all right or bad. “Uh- yea… I think your dad wanted to see me…” You mumbled. He already knew. He escorted you, trying to see if you were even mentally okay. He knew this would’ve never happened unless you both got involved. And he felt guilty. He felt responsible. Watching you have to relive everything was horrific to watch. He was never even able to talk that freely, even around his therapist even though there were multiple contracts and signed documents that promised secrecy. He couldn’t put himself in that head space.
You entered Logan's office and were greeted by Logan. He played a concerned face, looking up at you. “Hi dear, take a seat. You must be stressed.” He tried to play nice. Even it worried Roman. He looked in between the two of you, with his eyebrows raised. You cautiously took a seat, folding your legs across the other. “How are you? We watched what went down. Must’ve been terrible.” Logan checked in. You looked at Roman before looking at Logan. You decided on honesty. “Well- uh I cried a lot. But I’m glad I said what I said.” You breathed out.
“I bet… uh- well… now- now don’t take this so harshly, but I do think it was a good thing they brought them out there. It proves what we are. Doesn’t it? You’re a smart woman.” Logan put an emphasis on your gender. “You knew these news people don’t give a fuck. They’re savages.” Logan tried to bring your guard down, but it didn’t work. You were worried this would end in you being called a moron or being fired. “Listen- seriously. This is coming from me of all people. This was good. It felt good, didn’t it?” He asked you.
You sat with your thoughts before nodding. “Yeah- it kind of did.” You agreed. “I mean- I thought if I ever saw them, I’d run away and cry, I mean I did yesterday… but it felt good to say it out loud. To finally discredit them in public.” This was what Logan wanted. You finally spoke. You let your guard down. You had no defense up. He could screw with your mind.
“It must’ve been. I mean to deal with…” He let out an exaggerated breath of air, shaking his head. “I mean to deal with that, y’know… How long have they been discrediting you?” He needed to know to shut those claims down for as much money as it took. He was going to make you and Shiv the face for their defense against the Cruises. Who better than 2 women, one being a now public assault victim herself?
“As long as I can remember. I mean they used to tell their friends what a bad kid I was. But honestly, I think after I left they even bashed me on social media a bit. It was just to make me…” You started before Logan cut you off.
“To make you feel guilty. Yeah- who was Liam?” Logan wondered. Roman tried to butt in. “Dad- come on…” he tried to stop the questioning, but Logan put his hand up to stop Roman. “I’m just asking. Come on. It’s therapeutic. Isn’t it?” Logan asked you. You felt too intimidated. But all your business was out at this point. This could’ve been out already.
“Uh- Liam was my dad’s brother. Uh- yea. He wasn’t the only one though. Just kind of- y’know…” You shifted. You covered your face with your hair as you pretended to itch to avoid the intense eye contact from Logan.
“I see… Well- what if I did this for you?” Logan proposed. “We take those bastards down… your parents, Liam, and whoever else.” Your eyes light up. You looked at Logan, shocked, but hungry to not only publicly shame them, but completely ruin them. “I can set you up with the best lawyers… the best whatever. And slip something. Make sure, this kind of stuff can’t happen.” Logan continued. You didn’t need to hear the rest. You wanted in.
“Yes- I’d love that. I don’t even care what else you need. I’ll do it.” You jumped at the opportunity. Not only would it prove whoever didn’t think you were wrong, but it would be such a release to you. “Slow down… I just need you to go up there with Shiv from time to time. That’s all I ask.” Logan continued. This would be pocket change to him. But if it influenced you enough and to gain back such sympathy for the company, he would do it. He didn’t care. He just wanted another win to take home.
You got up and agreed. “Logan, you have no idea what this means. Thank you.” You felt so released from all this excoriating journey. But it would be over. The trail would be fast. You had witnesses, you had documents, and you had photos taken by CPS. You had enough evidence.
“Don’t- please.” Logan tried to be humble. “Just take the time. I’ll do what I need to, and you do what you need to. But while you’re here. What do you think of GoJo?” He wanted you to feel a part of it. But he already had his mind made. He was just hoping you’d agree to further his narrative. You stood shocked, looking at Roman, but he still looked nervous for you.
“Uh- I think it’s great… The network needs to modernize and uh- GoJo needs a lot of tweaking. But it’s good.” You quickly put in your input. Logan nodded, looking off as he thought.
“Alright… uh- well. You both could uh- just. Roman do what you need.” He ignored you. You just left with Roman. You were ecstatic. “Did you fucking hear that?” You giggled, nearly jumping as you stood. Roman knew this was off. His dad never cared about this sort of stuff. He never even acknowledged Roman’s abuse. But Roman remembered his gender, Roman’s assault didn’t matter to his father because ‘boys don’t do that’. But he was at least glad you weren’t sobbing. You were smiling.
“Uh- yea… Wow…” He tried to make it sound as big as it did to you. But a lawsuit against average people was something that lasted such a short time with the lawyers they had. It meant nothing. “Hey, but you sure you’re okay? I mean- that was-uh-that was just fucking-…” Roman tried not to offend you.
You nodded with the biggest smile plastered on your face. “Rome- this is the best thing that could’ve happened. This was a fucking gift sent from God him fucking self… I mean fuck! I don’t even believe in the fucker but wow!” You couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous you sounded. “Yeah- cause he’s probably not fucking real.” Roman tried to quickly butt in. “But you know- just… I don’t know.” He dismissed his worries. They were dumb. He should be happy for you. I mean, you were getting something you could only fantasize about. But Roman knew it would come at such a cost. “Look- I love you, okay? Just- fucking- I don’t know. You gotta maybe put yourself first.” Roman tried to express.
“Roman- you have no idea… how long I have been waiting for this. I mean sure Angela and Mick don’t deserve any kind of attention. But this is good. I promise.” You held his hands before pressing a kiss over his rose-tinted lips.
“Alright- I’m just fucking worried- cause y’know… I care and shit.” He almost gagged at the thought of him being this desperately in love. He never saw it ever coming for him. He thought he’d even be single for most of his life or hopping from the next person to the next because they didn’t get him fully.
“Aww- Roman has a cruuuush.” You teased him.
He had a mocking face at you, rolling his eyes. “Fuck off.”
“No- come on- say it.” You continued to test him further and further, but he had walked away from you. He had a meeting to go to. But you didn’t mind. You were just so overfilled with joy. You headed to the break room, finally able to get a sense of peace. Greg hadn’t been in the office to annoy you any longer. He was too busy mooching off of Kendall. But fortunately, Shiv had made her way in to get some kind of weirdly expensive water bottle.
“Oh- uh hey.” Shiv was nervous to confront you. It set in that now everyone saw your victim status. You were fragile. It made you feel weaker for it. “You alright? I mean- I saw what went on. But you okay?” She wondered, taking a seat across from you.
You nodded. “I’m fine.” You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling though. Finally. No more worrying. Just peace. “It was shocking at first, but just- Shiv… it was the most freeing thing ever.” You expressed. She looked at you strangely with a smile on her face.
“Wow- well I’m glad you were okay… uh- did you and Roman want to come over tonight… me and Tom wanted to maybe make you feel more welcomed.” She offered. You felt a warmness fill you, pouting at how sweet of a gesture it was.
“Uh- yea… Thanks, Shiv…” You felt at home. You were a part of yet another family. Granted a very toxic and problematic one, but you had another family. You had lost your little sister to your parents, but you had Jess and Shiv. Shiv never purposely hurt you. Just Kendall. Speaking of Kendall, you wondered how he was reacting to the mess he created.
“Yeah- sure, it’s nothing. Just y’know- I just thought since you and Roman were… yeah…” She sounded disgusted by the thought of her brother in a relationship. “Just thought it’d be a nice thing. Just come by at 8.” She squeezed your hand gently before leaving you alone. You weren’t alone for long before meeting with Roman again.
“Your sister invited us to dinner.” You expressed to him. You were just happy to be involved.
“Oh, fucking great. Now we need to play fucking house.” He groaned at the idea. He didn’t mind being ‘normal’ with you. But he was still upset about the other night. His distain for Shiv came in and out depending on where their hatred lied. But for you, he’d do it.
“It was sweet!” You tried to defend Shiv and this dinner was. But nothing about his family was ever done in the goodness of their heart. He knew it. He did it too. He knew never to trust. Everything was a game. If you didn’t see it as that, you’d lose. Everything was a race. The slowest one was left behind, desperate to keep up. But he was used to it. He never lived a second without being in it.
“Shiv? Come on- she’s literally a fucking uh a fucking killer girl scout. She’s that one girl people always says killed her kid. Fucking-…” He tried to remember her name as you just watched him desperately try to think of insults to throw at Shiv behind her back. “Casey Anthony.” You reminded him.
“Yup. That whore. That’s Shiv.” He made the connection finally.
“You’re being dramatic.” You pushed his concerns away. He was dramatic. It was going to be a harmless dinner. It would’ve been nice anyway. He mimicked your voice, passing your judgment as nothing. He was gonna go anyway. He had to. “Roman, are you going to make me go alone or not?” You crossed your arms.
“Yeah- fucking whatever. We’ll play house.” Roman gave in. You smiled, pressing a kiss over his lips before pulling him off to continue the workday before having to split off at the end of the day. It was nice being able to finally be able to show some kind of affection at work. Or the very least in public. You didn’t need to hide away and sneak around. People were even shocked for Roman. Not that he actually had a partner, but that he was even able to show some kind of affection towards anyone. All of his other partners have had an issue with physical touch. But with you, it was easier. You both read each other's body language well enough.
You entered your apartment, realizing how much you’ve rarely ever been in this space. Most nights you were out on trips or with Roman. And for a brief period, you were with Jess. You hopped into the fairly reminiscent shower. You turned the metal knobs and let the shower head pour out hot water. You forgot how weak the shower head was compared to the nice resorts and hotels you’ve been placed in. You poured your shampoo into your head and scrubbed it into your scalp. You sat there and let the water clear all the soapy bubbles before gliding conditioner through your hair. You spent a while in the shower as your phone blasted music through its speakers. You sang to the lyrics with the passion of a singer on a world tour. You screamed the lyrics, dancing as if you were invoking an emotion in the audience that never existed. “I was enchanted to meet yoooooooou!” You screamed into the wall. Before going into the second verse. You scrubbed your body, holding the loofa as if it were the end of a mic as soon as your favorite lyrics and vibrato of the song came on.
Your phone abruptly died in the middle of another song, cutting your shower short. You wrapped your body in a towel before going to your bedroom/living room. You plugged your phone into the charger before drying yourself off. You put on your makeup shirt, which was an old t-shirt stained with makeup. You sat down in front of your mirror and did your makeup in front of it. You did makeup better without music anyway. It distracted you far too much anyway. You usually put on funny podcasts or YouTube or something dark like true crime to stay focused on your makeup, but you wait for your phone to charge. Along with it being too far and you being too lazy to actually get up and put something on.
You finished up fairly quickly before starting on your hair, styling it simply. You didn’t want to make this as fancy as it was going to be. It was a simple dinner. But Shiv always dressed up in a formal way. You couldn’t imagine her in a regular shirt. Or Tom. You’ve never seen them in regular clothes. She had more reasons to try to remain a ‘professional’ look. If she didn’t she would be seen as less serious as people already took her.  
You finished up before struggling to find something to wear. You just settled on some dress pants and a shirt that you hadn’t worn in months since you’d gotten hired. You had been neglecting your regular clothes as well. You checked the time, realizing how much time you spent before grabbing your bag. You shoved the essentials into it before leaving the house. You ran down to the subway station. You hadn’t been on the train in a while either. It felt strange. You definitely were getting a few stares. You just lowered your head, covering your face with your hair, hoping no confrontation would occur. But 6 minutes into your ride you heard an iPhone camera shutter go off. You looked up and saw a man put his phone down, looking around as if he wasn’t in front of you.
“Sir- can you please just delete that?” You asked politely. He acted oblivious, pointing at himself. “Yes sir, I heard that. Please can you just delete that?” “It’s my freedom.” He said with a snobby attitude. He was clearly some business major douchebag. “Yea- and it’s my freedom to not have men take pictures of me.” You reminded him.
“Is there an issue? Hey man, delete that shit.” Another man who had been standing the entire ride intervened. The man declined before the other guy pressed him enough. “Stupid bratty whore.” He mumbled as he went through the phone to delete the picture as the other guy watched him.
“Woah! What the fuck man?” You rolled your eyes. “Have some fucking respect for the lady.” The other man called him out. You just stood up and went in between the carts to switch carts. You felt uncomfortable being in a space you use to be on daily for 22 whole years.
Thankfully you had just gotten off at the stop you needed to. You left the station, looking down at your phone for the address before making your way over to Shiv and Tom’s apartment. You texted Shiv to let her know you were a block away. You were escorted inside and sent up to their floor. You were greeted by Shiv who was wearing a white pant suit with a black turtleneck. “Hi!” She smiled, bringing you into a hug. “I’m so glad you actually made it. Uh- where’s Rome?” She wondered.
“Oh, I came by myself. He said he’s coming.” You calmed her nerves. She nodded but you pulled your phone out to make sure Roman was actually coming. He texted back to let you know he was in a car downtown at this moment. Shiv just went in on what she had her chefs make you all, but it wouldn’t be done anytime soon.
“Oh my god! I didn’t know you guys had a dog!” You squealed, seeing a large black dog lying down on the ground with a stuffed bear under his head. You walked over, kneeling down. The dog raised his head up, staring up at you with his large brown eyes. “Hi baby…” You said in a soft baby voice as you ran your fingers through its fur and scratched his ears for him. He leaned his heavy head into your small hands as you contagiously giggled.
“Oh-uh yeah. That’s Mondale. He’s mostly Toms.” Shiv tried to interject, but you were fascinated by the large baby in front of you. You always wanted a dog, but in New York, it was hard to have one. Plus, your parents never let you have one. If they did, you wouldn’t trust them around an animal anyway. But eventually, you knew you’d own a variety of pets. The ideas of animals were endless. A dog, chihuahua, Maltese, those cute pug chihuahua mixes, a cat, probably an orange one, a fennec fox, a raccoon, etc. You weren’t the type to think owning such weird animals was okay, but oh my god, they were just too cute to not want one. Realistically you knew the cat and dogs were the only ones you’d genuinely get.
“Who’s a cutie? Huh? You are.” You continued to baby-talk to the dog before finally leaving him alone. “I’m sorry- I just- aww look at him.” You expressed to Shiv.
She smiled, putting her hands up in defense. “No- it’s okay.” She laughed. “I’m sure Mondale very much appreciated the welcome.” She was just happy someone gave him attention. She tried but was far too busy for him. He mostly was attached to Tom or the people who actually took care of him. “Are you doing okay so far?” She checked in with you. She knew your asset value in the company. She did genuinely like you, but she knew she needed to be closer to you.
“Oh-uh, I’m alright. Just a bit of an intense day. I’m glad you invited me over.” You expressed your gratitude. She shooed off the ego boost, wanting to stay humble. But The Roys were nothing close to humble as Roman started his grand entrance into the apartment.
“Sup cunts.” He greeted the room before going to Shiv, giving you a small hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Wow- how sweet of you to show up.” Shiv was annoyed at the term he used against her. It was more so directed at Tom and Shiv than you.
“Fucking cry in your 4000 thread pillows bout it.” Roman shrugged off her annoyance. He was too focused on your well-being and happiness. If he hadn’t, he would’ve never been here.
“You guys are such a healthy family. I mean- I, of all people, should know healthy family dynamics.” You teased both of them, hinting how the toxicity of their dynamic was a bit much.
“Mhm. Exactly. Just like those fuckers from The Brady Bunch. Shiv, which one are you?” Roman played on with the joke. “Rome- ew.” Shiv dismissed him. She was still so shocked someone like you was willing to be involved with Roman. He was awful. And you were well more put together than he was. Maybe it was just an experiment for you. Maybe you were one of those girls who tried to fix other men.
“You’re the one making fucky eyes at me.” Roman tried to defend his joke. But it only grossed Shiv out even more. “Fucky eyes? I’m not making fucky eyes.” Shiv was on the defense. But you were too entertained to stop the arguing just yet. Roman mimicked the look she gave him, standing by his point before you jumped in.
“Okay Roman- enough. Your sister doesn’t want to fuck you. And if you tell me you’ve thought of fucking her, I’m leaving.” You threatened.
“Thank you. Finally, one fucking sane human being involved in this shit.” Shiv was lucky enough that some normal enough was willing to stand her brother for this long. Credit, she’s shocked Roman genuinely even liked women.
“Oh fucking, please. My therapist said I’m perfectly normal.” Roman scoffed. “Your therapist says whatever he does to please you Rome.” Shiv snapped back. You tried to deescalate this before it ended in a very vicious argument where it would upset the other.
“I’m shocked you both even have one. So, where’s Tom?” You asked Shiv. Shiv shrugged before watching Tom come down the stairs just in time to save you from this.
“Oh great. The fucking normies are here now.” Roman giggled. You glared at him. You were slightly annoyed to be grouped in as ‘normie’ based on your upbringing not being extremely rich and privileged. He tried to apologize with a hand hold and kiss on the shoulder though. You had him completely whipped. “Hey- thank you so much for coming.” Tom tried to play it cool as he reached out to shake your hand. You took it regardless. “Tom, we’ve met before.” You snickered at how formal he had been.
Shiv was already on your side. “Yeah, honey. Come on.” She tapped him on the shoulder.
“No- I- uh- I know. I just thought it’d be- uh- just polite to our guests.” Tom tried to save some sort of face, but Roman made it worse as he stood up straighter and put his hand out to Tom. “So glad we could make it. Tell me your name again? Don’t care.” Roman tried to mimic and make fun of Tom, but Shiv would defend Tom against only Roman.
“You were at our fucking wedding dick.” Shiv rolled her eyes, trying to defend her husband in front of you, knowing it’s what ‘a good wife’ would do.
“Hmm still didn’t care to learn his name.” Roman shrugged. “Have a more memorable wedding next time sis.” You were shocked to hear how vulgar and rude Roman could be. Especially to Tom.
“Roman, he didn’t mean anything by it.” You reprimanded him in a soft tone. “Uh- well. Tom how’s ATN doing?” You asked.
But Tom was stressed about other things to even worry about ATN but had to put on a brave enough face for the crowd. “Oh- it’s been just fine. You know… just- fucking trying to dodge the Nazis out of the building.” He accidentally reminded you of the scandal of them nearly hiring a new news anchor with a white supremacy background.
“What? A fucking Nazi?” You questioned. Roman just giggled in the back, watching how terribly nervous and shaken Tom had been.
“It’s such a long drawn-out story.” Tom tried to die down the topic. “When’s the food ready?” Tom was eager to leave this conversation and move onto something else. “How have you been? It’s been a long day, huh?” He sent over his fake condolence. God, you wish people would stop asking.
“Oh- just fine. Just some family drama.” You simplified it to that.
It always felt awkward around Tom. Maybe because he already had someone who didn’t fit into their world. He couldn’t collect all of you. It felt like there was no gain to have, especially with you being a woman. And being so attached to the man who reminded him constantly of his shortcomings.
“Dinner should be ready in 5 minutes. We’ll set up the table.” One of the chefs informed Shiv and Tom. She nodded and sent them off their way. The table had been set up shortly and you were all instructed on when to finally come in. You sat alongside Roman as Tom and Shiv sat across. Plates of food slowly poured through the door and were set in front of you.
“Thank you for having us again Shiv.” You thanked her once again as she grabbed the bottle of wine off the table and began to unscrew it.
“It’s nothing. Don’t stress.” She popped the cork out and poured herself a glass before setting the bottle down for grabs. You poured one glass before passing it around to everyone else at the table.
“Did you see what Kendall said to the press earlier? He’s completely gone ape shit.” She struck up a conversation with Roman. Roman raised an eyebrow, waiting for Shiv to tell him. “He said the reason we have not joined ties with him is because we’re scared of dad and that dad’s using a victim's trauma for views and sympathy.” Shiv laughed at how ridiculous it was for Kendall.
“But you both are scared of Logan.” You pointed out. Shiv paused as if she hadn’t ever been scared of him. Definitely Roman and sometimes Kendall, but she didn’t think she was. Maybe a little.
“Well- that’s just… that’s not why we don’t support him. I mean he’s trying to put us in jail for something. I mean- Tom might even go to prison.” Shiv explained, but you shrugged. You didn’t see any of that happening. Sure, everything was pretty serious, but how long can this investigation go? Why would they arrest the kids who had no say in it? They didn’t purposely hide evidence.
“I don’t know. I think Ken is digging himself a grave. He keeps bringing up victims this, victims that, it’s starting to seem disingenuous. As if these women aren’t a person with a name and life; just victims.” You scoffed at how disgusting Kendall had been. He refused to even say your name. Just saying ‘victim’ as a placeholder instead. He didn’t view you as a person. Just something to profit off of.
“I’m sorry….” Shiv tried to apologize to you. You shook your head, not wanting to focus on it.
“Ken ever since high school has been a fraud. He thinks reading women talk about hating men is a personality trait.” Roman knew this was the best way to remove the topic off of you and onto him and Kendall. “Can you please start reading books to him at night? I feel like he only listens to you.” Shiv rolled her eyes at her brother's sexism.
“No amount of training can make Roman less hateful.” Tom disagreed with Shiv. “Oh, come on. You’ve seen how he’s been. He’s completely pussy whipped. I’ve never seen-“ Shiv laughed at her brother's expense. “Fucking haha. Fuck you. I’m not like Tom.” Roman decided to fire back. Shiv couldn’t help but laugh at her brother's annoyance.
“Rome- It wasn’t meant anything bad. You just now know what it’s like to be a regular boy.” Shiv continued to prod Roman’s insecurities of not being normal. You held his hand under the table for some kind of comfort, looking at him carefully to show him some kind of support.
“Everyone finds their person at different stages.” You defended. “I mean how old were you and Tom when you both got together?” You asked to get off the topic of Roman. This whole dinner was filled with one person being the main target of the conversation to only be jumped to the next target.
“We met back in college.” Tom smiled at Shiv lovingly as he reminisced back at the time, but Shiv seemingly wanted to forget that part of her life.
“Tell them when you both actually met.” Roman incited the story, chewing on his food amused at what the true tale was.
“That’s not- ugh… I was just a dumb fucking college student. Uh- yea it was finally when I was away from dad, so at a party I threw up in front of everyone and Tom held my hair in the bathroom.” Shiv tried to make it seem as though it was a lot harsher than it truly was. Everyone had those phases in college. It was just the college experience. You were a lot worse a few years ago when you started college. You were sneaking into clubs, doing coke with strangers, acid, molly, ketamine, whatever the fuck you were ever given.
“Oh- that’s sweet of him though.” You tried to praise Tom. Tom appreciated that some kind of good intentions were brought into his actions.
“I guess. I mean it was humiliating.” Shiv hid her face.
“No- I mean seriously. If he was some stranger and he took you home to only help you out, that’s incredibly sweet. He could’ve just ignored it like everyone.” You kept trying to push the narrative. Shiv nodded, looking at Tom finally smiling about the moment they met. Maybe it was sweet of Tom.
“I mean- I saw her beforehand a few times. But I finally went to the party she always went to. And her friends- woo- awful people. But yea- they just left her there. So instead of letting her be even more embarrassed, I carried her to her dorm and stayed with her till she was okay. And then asked her out in the morning.” Tom continued to recollect the memories of him and Shiv. Deep down, he was truly in love with her. It just was hard to love her. Shiv put her hand over Tom’s and squeezed it lightly.
“Well- me and y/n met through a hooker website.” Roman lied as if they didn’t already know how you and Roman had met.
You giggled, but the rest of them didn’t. You always found Roman ridiculous. No one understood how you could so carelessly laugh at the weird disgusting shit he ever said.
“Noooo- come on. It was sexual workplace harassment. Remember? That’s what the tabloids say.” You could finally laugh at what was occurring around you in the media. That’s when it hit Shiv and Tom. You were perfect for Roman. His other half. A more stable liberal put-together version of him.
147 notes · View notes
asilosmagdalena · 1 year
Text
It's interesting how despite everyone immediately clocking Roman as the most queercoded sibling, narratively, Kendall's queerness is more often called into question. Despite him being the only one that tried to have a heterosexual marriage with kids.
The most shocking thing to me about Logan telling Roman: "I never figured you for a faggot," is that it's only coming up now. Roman, who constantly tells his dad he loves him (which was the faggotry Logan was talking about), his effiminacy, his struggles being intimate with women, that Roman getting jerked off by his trainer was a well known rumor... Logan had never considered this before.
But with Kendall, Logan bombards him with homophobia since episode one and has continued to do so consistently. "I hear you bent for him, and he fucked you," "Is that why you're paying a billion dollars for a gay little website?" "Hey, are you queer? Did you try to fuck him?"
I didn't know what to make of this, really, except that Logan doesn't really see Roman for who he is. He was completely oblivious to Roman's feelings for Gerri, even though everyone else could see it. Logan told Roman he wants him at ATN and that "Smart people know what they are," but if he knew Roman at all, he wouldn't say that in the first place.
And then when I was looking for a certain Stewy scene on YouTube, I rewatched the one where Logan disdainfully calls Stewy "My son's college drinking buddy." That quote on its own doesn't imply anything deeper with all the context added together...
I doubt Logan would be so pissed off at Kendall merely having a friend, (even though none of his other kids have friends and isolating them is a manipulation tactic) the vitriol sounds more like he resents Stewy for taking Kendall's gay virginity or something. And even moreso for staying in his life after Kendall's failed hetero marriage. The "college drinking buddy" comment both serves to undermine their decades long relationship and calls attention to them being in college... drinking... experimenting... who knows what else.
I don't necessarily believe Kendall and Stewy would have had a sexual relationship in the past, but there are too many scenes of them being coded as lovers for me to even cite right now. If Logan had assumed they had a sexual relationship, it would have been based upon the fact that their closeness went far beyond what is usually for straight guys.
So, if Logan failed to recognize Roman's queerness because Logan doesn't see Roman, maybe Logan used homophobia against Kendall because he knew him too well.
166 notes · View notes