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#implied moceit
bastard-aziraphale · 1 year
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anyway..... more "autistic aroflux janus with ballroom dancing as a special interest and a complicated (but strong) desire to teach patton and virgil how to dance properly" content <3 for me <3
also virgil is genderfluid in this AU and uses any pronouns :3 but she is babygirl to me......... <3
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dystopiagnome · 2 years
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Fatherfucker should be a more universally accepted term.
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Janus to Thomas: You know, sometimes you make me regret my brief fling with morality.
Virgil: Your fucking WHAT?!
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sinister-things · 1 year
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Sanders Sides As Conversations I've Had
Patton: *Gives Janus a glass of wine*
Virgil: "Anymore of those?"
Patton: "I only work for your mother."
(Source: Janus as my mother(the wine being a cupcake), Patton as my father, and Virgil as me)
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pencilpat · 2 months
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Birthday boyyy birthday snake! Here's Janus celebrating with small joys from his favourite nuisances, have a good one sweetie.
Bonus:
"Here's the deal ouroboros: bite down, or let go..."
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"...but you can't keep holding on like this."
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cofe-doodles · 2 years
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doodle dump✨ + redesigns because i'm indecisive and it's 12 am :)
(more under the cut!)
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i'll be honest,
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i have no idea why i had the sudden impulse to draw but ig that's good? ig?
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warnadudenexttime · 11 months
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Patton in SVS:
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Virgil: Pat, you're married, right?
Patton: How did you know?
Virgil: I was at your wedding
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Janus: Due to personal reasons, I plan to unsuccessfully perform Houdini's underwater escape.
Roman: Pat said "I love you" and you said "thanks," didn't you?
Janus: As I said, the reasons are personal. See Remus if you'd like to purchase a ticket. No refunds.
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So About the New Asides... (Christmas)
Here's just a random list of my thoughts. Just finished the video (What Makes the Perfect Gift?). And oh boy, do I have some THOUGHTS to share.
[I was gonna finish a Intruloceit Crime Boss AU fic thingie as a surprise for a mutual bc why not, but this has me in its grip]
[beware Drunk Character, btw]
Longest post ever, jfc.
Also, I know exactly which people to ask which pairings about. I know who to ask to talk about Dukexiety (@where-are-the-spooky-gays-2), about Intruality (@rataticaisdreaming), about analogince (@disneybrandautism), about Roman in general (@prodigal-explorer and @disneybrandautism), about Prinxiety (@logan-the-artist), etc. etc. etc.
I know people and what they love and their favoured characters. I encourage everyone to infodump and geek out in the comments bc this episode fed us all.
Spoilers below
the lil present animation for the title thingie? cute
Logan waking everyone up and hosting the Secret Santa this time, yusss
Logan is responsible and it shows
"11th hour of beauty rest" -> I love Roman, he's one of my favs
^not this specific line, but can I just say with all of the angst and insecurity and such Roman has, I think I have to add him to my Kin List of Sides that I relate to at some ungodly level (which also includes Remus, Virgil, and Logan. and maybe also Janus)
the pipline to being a Roman kinnie/stan has been WILD okay idk what to tell ya lmao
"master of all kinds of rhythm, except circadian-" yep relating to Roman yet again
Logan's lil pacing in his spot, I call that him stimming and no I don't take criticism on that
^new headcanon unlocked: Logan (like Roman) cannot keep still to a certain degree
Logan and Roman aren't as different as you'd think btw
Virgil being woken up/summoned only by the sudden burst of adrenaline is so canon that I cannot. I CANNOT.
Patton's and Roman's excitement for Secret Santa is everything to me <3
autistic Roman autistic Roman autistic Roman-
"things are a little different this year" -> yeah about that
Serious Grinch Moment(tm)
Logan knowing a lot of medical knowledge makes me think he could have a special interest about it, but that may just be my "autistic Logan go brrr" headcanon nonsense
^...did Patton just indirectly call Logan the Grinch?
^^heart grow in size, he says to Logan... hhhh, I feel the slightest bit of angst vibes from that
"I just stress" -> me core
Roman checking on Thomas, awwww <3
The way Logan sounded when he said Remus' and Janus' names + Virgil's and Roman's reactions to them coming LMAO
"You may all have your feelings about them" -> the way Logan said 'feelings' like it's a plague, mm yeah heheh
Logan is such a f*cking mom, never stop pls
Janus pops like already drunk and Remus pops up all excited, dear frickin god do I love these two specifically
Drunk Janus is my fav thing ever btw
"what's up bro" // "hey..." -> siblings siblings this is my sibling (/ref)
omg Remus just being excited to be there and be included and to hang with his bro, he is so happy to see Roman cause BROTHERS, oh lord creativitwins slfjalkfskafaalkf
"they were right where I left them... in a vat of human excrement" -> I stan him for a reason, don't judge me
^he speaks and I either laugh or relate to it. usually both (no I will not elaborate on what this implies about me lmao)
"courteous laughter" mm yeah
Logan stops Virgil's escape HA
"That everyone will be secretly trying to win at" -> Roman is right and he should say it
"I'm not sharing it with anyone, I'm just showing it off" -> Janus says about his largest wine bottle that he definitely already started drinking from
Patton gets so excited he gets lightheaded
Janus got Patton? heheh moceit nation RISE
^you'll see what I mean when ya watch the episode
^^not just because he got Pat but because of the actual thought and effort he put into the gift
"I thought it was the corpse of a sea lion, but Janus wouldn't let me shake it." // "No, I don't think so. It's too light."
^...h- how does Patton know how much a dead sea lion weighs??
also Roman's reaction is basically "wut the f-"
"I might be mistaken, but I'm not." -> reason 39539 why I love Logan
"A BOX :D" -> Pat. Pat that's not everything.
^Janus being like "keeping opening the boxes" while pretending not to care, hehehe
^^"...you want me to destroy my new box?" -> all I can do is sigh, suddenly understanding why I may relate to Janus
REMUS CANONICALLY CALLED PATTON "DADDY", I-
^Roman's and Virgil's reactions, lmao
can I just say how much Ro and Vi are being the best of buds? like mm, platonic prinxiety is off the charts this episode
Remus' f*cking "whaaaaaaaa-" kills me
Janus just pouring wine into what's supposed to be a tea mug is funny to me
"but for Remus?" -> hey at least Roman knows his brother well enough to know an air fryer isn't exactly a Remus-typical gift idea
"someone they don't really know" but then Patton admitting he should get to know Remus better? hhhhhhh-
^intruality nation, we got fed, god damn
tbh a lot of pairings/ships were shown in some way or another, so I guess we ALL got fed today huh
"chicken fingers?" // "yeah!" // "human fingers" // "yea- hh, wha- wait-"
so many intruality interaction omg (my intruality moot is gonna be so excited, I can't wait to talk about this episode with him)
Remus is gonna experiment with the air fryer, ayyy
"I had Virgil" // "Ah f*ck-"
"with me own hands" -> I will never stop loving Remus
also Remus making Virgil a handmade gift? relatable and also aww, I imagine them as besties but in the dynamic where Virgil is kinda reluctant and Remus will never stop teasing whenever he can
^new headcanon: one of Remus' main love languages is 'i made this weird creative thing for you' and I only relate to him even more (essentially gift-giving but make it BETTER)
Mr. Fuzzy <3
Virgil knowing the inside joke between dork Sides- I mean dark Sides
^okay but just all the dukexiety and creativitwins and anxceitmus moments within seconds of each other in that scene is just aww
Virgil knowing what Remus calls his shower drain alfkjafksk
"I hate that I know that" -> reluctant bestie vibes
all of the analogical moments SENDS me because of how it plays out and how Logan felt hurt before realizing what his gift actually was, mm yeah aksfklsdfskfd
Virgil trying to hint subtly that maybe Logan should read it to see something, but Logan not picking up on the hints
^ngl took me the second watch-through to realize "oh he was trying to hint at him but he didn't pick up on it, like me haha"
^^do I kin Logan, you ask as if there isn't an obvious answer of YES
no wait bc the LOOK Remus gives Logan as he becomes more upset and literally encourages him to get angry and let his feelings out
^okay but why did Remus have to say it like that
Pat this whole episode says someone's name as if he's about to intervene/try to help the situation but then IMMEDIATELY says something about his box(es)
Virgil's sigh, lmao
Logan's passive aggressive sass sends me omg
Logan feeling like he needs to 'reevaluate' himself... hhhhh, the angst fics I could write from this moment alone dear lord
"I had Roman" // "Oh- oh, no-"
^idk why but Roman's reaction hurt me
^^like he doesn't have faith in Logan's gift-giving abilities? and how it seems most of everyone specifically has little-to-no faith in Logan's capacity for compassion/general emotions (except for maybe Janus and Remus, and Thomas bc he's been praising Logan for doing well during it all)
Okay but Thomas praising Logan? oh gawd, my heart-
^working on his relationship with the logical part of him, sfksalfkhskadf
LOGAN'S SIDE EYE TO VIRGIL-
^(he's so petty lmao)
Roman liking his present from him <3
^this reminds of the last Secret Santa they had when Ro made Lo a full-on fanfic of him replacing Watson and working with Sherlock and etc (headcanon: both the twins have their love languages involving their creative merits/talents because they're Creativity)
just generally speaking, gift-giving seems to be pretty high up there on everyone's love language list (in their own ways)
why is Patton not the greatest at gifts
^I take that back because he is putting thought into his gift-giving (though not a lot when it comes to Remus cause he doesn't know him well), though he tends to misread/misunderstand what they'd really like? ...is that a neurodivergent thing? cause like that's a little relatable actually
^^also lmao, I just realized the only people Pat's got as far as the series goes is literally the twins (so maybe he's just not sure how to go about the twins? cause like, he seems to know Logan and Janus and kinda Virgil pretty well, but he seems to struggle with the twins? or is that just me)
"because f*ck that asshole" -> love it when Logan cusses <3
then Remus' reaction, omggg (his lil "for christmas")
The genuine joy on Roman's face when sees Logan put Roman on the dollar bill is EVERYTHING, do ya know how much he gets to be happy? (not a lot, if we backtrack to the last canon episode in which Roman's entire worldview broke, but some of ya aren't ready for that convo yet)
sorry but seeing the now-rare joy on Roman's face, awwww
JANUS SHUT. S H U T.
as soon as Janus speaks, Roman's smile drops and is replaced by upset, hhhhhh
^so the amount of angst fics I can make on that scene alone is very much a high number
Janus is so drunk, jfc (he keeps laughing and the filter is basically gone at this point)
"massive ego" -> see Jannie Boi, I think ya missing the part of him being The Ego and how f*cked up he already is but you keep making it worse & a part of me thinks you know you're making it worse because one of your Big Jobs is to actually protect and nuture the Ego but ya ain't doing ya f*ckin job and Roman's self-esteem and self-confidence seem to be dwindling every time you speak bc he knows ya gonna hurt him again for the millionth f*cking time
^I have a lot of Feels, okay?
"quite the unhinged jaw" -> I see what ya did there (literal snake man)
Jan pours more wine, oh lord here we go
this episode has both made very happy but also hurt me deeply all in one go
Why does Patton sound like he was about to actually defend Roman only to yet again comment on his boxes?
^why do I get the feeling this has something to do with the finale coming soon and also the angst arc that royality is currently going through?
I just realized the twins' spots are next to each other <3
^loving all the twins content this episode, exploring their brother relationship yusss
"yessss, full circle at last" -> He's so f*ckin drunk, oh my god
^he's literally holding onto the wall
also ayy, canonical that Janus hisses in his speech cause ya know. snake.
^the snake traits coming alive this episode
"such a sweetie going through all that effort" -> wait for it
AY HE GOT B*TCHSLAPPED, THAT'S RIGHT MF
he deserved it
Remus' amused "oh" as he enjoys the drama and Roman's passionate "YA GET A B*TCHSLAP, JANUS" is so f*cking delcious
Thomas being like 'what just happened-' as Jan gets slapped is funny to me
"it really is Christmas" -> H A
"won't even share the wine" -> Logan sounds so sad tho
I love how Janus was so impressed with the b*tchslap and how it was executed that he can't even be that upset about it
JANUS GOT PAT A GAG GIFT -> moceit moceit moceit-
^see told ya; Jan was thoughtful with it
"I was getting a bit too catty" -> being self-aware
Pat making a cat pun because of Virgil's hissing <3
Remus being like "nooo, the drama!" lmao
omg omg omg THE ANALOGICAL ENDING skfksfksjdfs
^I make it sound like it's one of many endings to a video game lmao
but srsly, Logan finally ready the newspaper to realize it's actual a puzzle for more puzzles and him being very happy <3
Virgil's evil laughter is legit just him being him, I love this character
okay but Vi knows Lo so well?? they're besties.
"Mr. Detective" from Virgil + Roman's lil smile as he watches Logan be happy with his puzzle(s) cause he knows how much Lo likes mystery (see when he made Lo that Sherlock fanfic) = prinxiety knows Logan very well and now I imagine analogince being a bestie trio of comfort and caring for their nerd
^Analogince has become something I didn't know I wanted until now lmao
"Oh Virgil" -> gay
"and you thought I'd just get you a newspaper" -> alfkjslafskfdslkfs I will never recover
aww Logan's happy smile! he's getting to be happy!!
"Mr. Fuzzy doesn't like being dropped" -> Remus, never stop being you
all the dukexiety content this episode feels my heart with joy because they're Brainrot to me
"how did you know-" // "we're you and also you're kinda easy to read"
^Janus taking offense to Thomas being easy to read bc he's Deceit and Self-Preservation, aka: the combo for Masking
"that's rude" -> idk why but the way Jan said that, it made me go aww
^he's so f*cking drunk at this point (props to Thomas (irl) for all the acting as a drunk character cause it was amazing and realistic as hell)
aww logince moment when Lo asks Ro to help him cause Creativity and Ro's smile
^(to be fair, there's a considerable amount of logince moments but this is the only one I pointed out as specifically logince)
can we talk about Nico's gift to Thomas? a necklace with a Ying-Yang charm and what looks like a rainbow charm?? symbolism heheheh
^many thoughts about the Ying-Yang cause balance and black-and-white mindset changing and etc.; but also the rainbow(?) charm cause GAY
Also, Nico Flores content!!
wait, is the endcard the moment when Nico and Thomas become serious? OMG GUYS Y'ALL, WAIT A SEC-
Janus End Card -> I laughed so hard
This episode was basically Growth, Angst, and Tumblr's Headcanons Get Confirmed.
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djs-horny-blog-lmao · 3 months
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DJ's Smut Fics Masterpost
oh my god, i now know that these are a pain in the ASS to assemble. but like,,,, handy. so here you guys go. I'm going to sort them into six handy categories for you.
OC
be a good boy and...? - about 4.8k words. contains hypnosis/brainwashing, programming, mantras, orgasm control, trigger phrases, dubious consent. Use of 'good boy'. Features two of my OCs, Jamie and Aeor. (this is probably my fav thing on here ngl)
NSFS SUPERHERO AU
tbh, lowkey the best shit ive done, if you like a good hero-gets-corrupted-by-a-rogue/villain-w/-hypnosis then i've got some fics for You!!
EDIT: this au is pretty dark/fucked up. heavy on the dubcon and corruption kink - all three named heroes are succumbing to being fucked or fucking their villains and are not going to 'win'. please be wary of that going in. i answer questions about it via asks and most of the important plot/lore dumps are tagged under my 'nsfs superhero au' tag if you want to know more/get the tone.
siren's call - part 1 - about 3k words. dom!janus, sub!patton. Trans Patton. CNC, hypnosis, dubcon, corruption kink. praise kink (’good boy’), facefucking, fingering, sex with clothes on, magic sex, memory play, multiple orgasms.
unexpected songs - impossible tasks - part 2 - Trans Patton, sub!Patton. Covert/accidental hypnosis, dubcon, corruption kink. ...accidental exhibitionism? masturbation at the end (not exhibitionism, he's in private). multiple orgasms.
the next stage - part 3 - Trans Patton, sub!Patton, dom!Janus, tist!Janus. hypnosis, dubcon, programming/mind control, corruption kink. blowjobs, riding dildos, magic. multiple orgasms. orgasm denial. use of ‘pussy’ and ‘cunt’ to describe a trans man’s genitals. Praise kink.
NSFS HUMAN AU
trapped in a brainwashing facility - 3.6k words, roceit, hypnokink/brainwashing, dubcon, pretty heavy fantasy, open/’unhappy’ ending, missing memories, uses of subliminal messaging on the characters - semi horror/erotic thriller
sleepxiety and motorcycles - 970 words, semi-public, swearing, dirty talk, coming untouched (ish), sub!virgil dom!remy.
NSFS FANTASY/MONSTERFUCKER
Big dragon, little prince - 2.8k words, Logince. top!Logan bottom!Roman, dom!Logan sub!Roman. Fantasy au. Pre-established relationship, monsterfucking. Dirty talk/degredation. Size kink. Brief mention of attempted murder at the start (monster hunters).
big dragon, little prince 2: now the dragon has 2 cocks - 3.4k words. Roceit. Mentioned Logince. Top!Janus, bottom!Roman, dom!Janus sub!roman. fantasy au. Pre-established Logince. Monsterfucking, dirtytalk/degredation. Size kink. Hemipenis/double penetration. Frotting. Janus uses they/them.
field research - about 4k words. sub/bottom Virgil, top/dom Remus, trans!virgil, referring to a trans man's genitalia as cunt and pussy, anal, double penetration, aphrodisiacs, intox/mild cnc/mild mind-altering substance, talk of breeding, overstim, monsterfucking, tentacles and monstercock.
untitled vampire logan logince fic - about 2k words. Vampire!Logan, logince, mind control/hypnosis, dubcon, vampiric thralls (fun fact, first fic i ever posted here and it's sat at 69 notes for months which still makes me laugh)
NSFS CANON COMPLIANT
just download ur bf a new brain! - roughly 4k words. Logince, sub!roman dom!logan, hypnotist logan, brainwashing, brainwashing via subliminals in music, descriptions of trance and dropping, cnc.
intrulogical hypno shenanigans - 4.6k words. Intrulogical, implied introloceit. sub!Remus dom!Logan. uses ‘master’ and ‘pet/baby boy/good boy’ as titles. Edging, trancing, and some good ol’ fashion boning. Contains an induction.
sequel to the above fic but now intruloceit - 4k words, threesome, hypnosis, dom!Logan, sub!Remus, sub!Janus, some initial anxieties, kink negotiation mid-sex, mantras, uses of ‘master/sir’ and ‘baby/baby boy/good boy/etc’ as titles
soft moceit hypnofic - about 3.6k words, moceit, dom/tist!Janus, sub!Patton, hypnosis, trance, a written induction of sorts, dubcon, gentle vibes, crying. Written pre-SvSs/POF
a book to turn off your brain - 2.6k words. loceit, sub!logan dom!janus, no actual fucking. Hypnosis via reading. Mindlessness, slow fall, implied hands-free-orgasm at the end, cnc
bimbo virgil - about 1k words. analogical, sub!virgil dom!logan, hypnokink, dumbification/bimbofication, trance, no actual sex, mirrors, uses titles like ‘master’ and ‘whore’.
janus gets double dommed - roughly 1.5k words. dom!logan, dom!roman, sub!janus. roloceit. no actual sex, just trance. Induction is written out. use of 'good boy' as praise. hypnosis.
NSFS THOMASxSIDE
Teacher's pet - About 3.5k words. Dom!Logan, Sub!Thomas. Teacher/student roleplay. Both degradation and praise, use of ‘sir’ and ‘good boy’. A little ...feet...play? it was accidental but it’s hot i promise.
The One Where Roman Ties Him Up And Fucks Him Silly - 3.6k words. Bondage/BDSM, sub!Thomas, dom!Roman, orgasm denial, overstimulation, hypnosis, voice kink, royalty kink, royalty/servant dynamic (sort of) use of titles like ‘my king’, and ‘good boy’.
Well um there we go i guess i'll update it with more as I write them?? maybe?? probably.
and damn. ive written more than i expected won't lie. if you want reccs from me, i think the brainwashing facility one, the dukexiety monsterfucking one, bimbo virgil, my OC one and just all the superhero ones are the best
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anxiousgaypanicking · 4 months
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Bootworship
Moceit (Patton x Janus) Kinktober 2023 Day Three: Bootworship Warnings: boot worship, footjobs
"You want to 'hang out?'" Janus asks, bringing his fingers up to make slightly dumbfounded, slightly annoyed air-quotes, directed at Patton who's standing in front of him happily, hands clasped together in front of him. 
"Yes!" Patton immediately responds, as he rocks back and forth on his feet. "Since we're officially getting along now, we might as well spend quality time together!" 
"I don't do quality time with others," Janus responds, drawing out the "s" in others to punctuate his point. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not much of a people person."
Patton chuckles. "I've noticed. But that doesn't mean we can't spend time together!" 
He reaches forward to grab one of Janus's hands, as if trying to pull him off of the couch, but Janus stays planted. 
"You wouldn't be found of the way I spend time with people," Janus responds, slowly, as if trying to gauge Patton's interests. "We're very different, you and I." 
"That's even more reason to spend time together!" Patton argues. "The more time we spend together, the more we learn about each other! And then we can communicate better, and be more comfortable around each other." 
Janus's lips stretch into a wry smile. "I know a surefire way to make us more acquainted." He then quickly looks away and waves his hand dismissively. "I don't know if you'd be willing to try it, though. It'll push you outside of your comfort zone, but it will encourage pure and transparent vulnerability." 
Patton flashes a wide and excited grin. "Whatever will bring us closer!" 
"Whatever?"
"Whatever!" 
Janus sits up, and with a hand outstretched, beckons Patton closer. With Patton's chin settled in his palm, Janus forces eye contact. 
"Alright," he begins, cautiously, "but you have to promise that if any point you want to stop, you'll say 'red.' Okay?" 
Patton raises an eyebrow, no doubt intrigued, but agrees with an amused "okay." 
Janus smiles, wide and pleased, before he leans back and goes "good. Now get on your knees." 
Confused, Patton listens, and kneels down to the ground. He digs his knees a little into the ground, wiggling in an attempt to make himself more comfortable, before he folds his hands in his lap and looks up at Janus, awaiting direction. 
"Clean my boots." 
Patton cocks his head, before laughing slightly. "The cleaning supplies are under the sink," he states, a little confused. "And we don't even own shoe polish." 
Janus raises an eyebrow. "You have a tongue, don't you? I'm sure that'll work just as good as any bout of shoe polish could."
Patton flushes suddenly as what Janus is implying dawns on him, and Janus watches his previously outgoing disposition dim into something more timid, as he plays with his fingers.
"Oh," Patton breathes, as he fully understands just what he's meant to be doing. He licks his lips to wet them, though his mouth itself is dry. "Oh." 
Janus reaches forward to stroke his fingers through Patton's hair, petting it softly and causing them both to relax momentarily. With firm words, Janus says "you don't have to if you don't want to. At any point you can say no. I never want you to be afraid to say no to me." 
Patton flushes, and turns to hide his face in his shoulder, though a cheeky smile slowly spreads across his face. 
There's a few moments of silence, before Patton takes in a deep breath. 
With newfound confidence, he scoots back to give himself the space to lean forward, and slowly presses a kiss to the top of Janus's black boots. It's shy, which is to be expected from someone who's probably never done this before, but Janus finds himself entranced with just how cute Patton looks. 
His stomach is pressed to the ground and his ass is in the air. His curly hair falls around his face as he kisses lightly over Janus's shoe, round glasses sliding down his nose. 
He's bent over worshipping, shyly, of course, but growing increasingly confident as his mouth glides over the surface. He's humiliated, but boy is he cute. 
A small moan slips past Patton's lips as he sucks over Janus's shoe, before he pulls away, spit sliding past Patton's lips and down his chin as he stares up at Janus. Curiously, Janus peers down, seeing one of his shoes shining with saliva. He smiles.
"Good boy," he praises, softly, "but you still have one more to do. Don't keep me waiting." 
"Of course not," Patton breathes, before shuddering as his hips roll against the floor, before he's leaning down again. Holding Janus's foot gingerly, Patton's eyes flutter shut as he kisses and licks once again, giving Janus another show. 
He's more noisy now, much to Janus's delight. Cute little moans and whimpers fill the room, using one hand to support Janus's shoe while the other slides between his legs. But, as soon as Janus notices that, his free foot is planting itself on Patton's shoulder and roughly kicking him back. 
Patton's back falls flat against the floor, as he stares up at Janus with comically large eyes. His round face is bright red, and he looks like he's panting. Straining against his khaki's is his hard cock, begging to escape his constricting pants. 
"Did I do something wrong?" he asks, as Janus scoots to the edge of the couch. 
Janus smiles. "No, of course not. But if you wanted to be touched so bad, you could have just asked." 
"Please, touch me?" Patton asks immediately, eliciting a laugh from Janus that sounds so pretty. 
"Of course!" Janus exclaims, as his foot glides between Patton's legs. " As soon as you get those pesky pants off, I'd be more than happy to give you nice, relieving pleasure. After all, you deserve a reward for cleaning off my shoes so well!" 
Patton beams at the praise, and is quick getting his pants and boxers off. Freckles dot his thighs, spreading down his calves, and while Janus has the urge to kneel down and count each one individually, perhaps even trace constellations formed on his skin, he forces himself to stay focused. 
If Patton was willing to lick the dust from Janus's boots, he should be willing to let Janus worship his body later down the line. It could be another bonding exercise! 
Janus kicks his foot out, and drags the bottom of his boot over Patton's cock, earning an immediate and loud moan. 
"Oh-!" Patton gasps, as his back arches off the floor. A curse word rests on his tongue, but he bites it back. Janus can taste his surprise, though. His pleasure. The rough pain and excitement coming from the rubber sole of Janus's shoe mixed with the ecstasy of it dragging over his shaft. 
"Careful, darling," Janus warns, as his boot sinks back to the base of Patton's cock, the bottom resting against Patton's balls in such a way that Patton sucks in a sharp breath, aware of the fact that if Janus sinks it down any further, his balls will be crushed. "You're going to undo all the work you just did! You're already leaking." 
Patton glances at his cock and sees pre already rolling down it, and he flushes with humiliation. 
"I'll clean them again if they get dirty," Patton promises, almost immediately. It makes Janus muse. 
He runs his shoe back up Patton's cock, stimulating it fully and earning another cute little cry of pleasure. Such lewd noises sound so foul and perverted coming from Patton's mouth, making them all the more delicious to Janus who drinks each one up, enjoying them to their fullest extent. 
He sets a slow, steady pace dragging his foot along the length of Patton's cock, watching each little jerk of the latter's hips as he attempts to get more friction, and shakily moans as he does. 
Gasps of "please" and "more" mix in with the unintelligible moans and squeaks any time Janus is just a little too rough or speeds up the smallest amount. 
There's never a moment of silence; the air is constantly filled with a pant or a grunt and Janus adores it. Though he does enjoy his silence, he could spend a lifetime listening to such perverse and beautiful noises, especially when paired with the visual of Patton's cock leaking pre over the bottom of Janus's shoe and his own stomach. 
"Janus," Patton whines, warmth flooding his body. Drool spills from the corner of his lips, eyes squeezing shut and eyebrows raised. "Janus!" 
"That's my name," Janus hums. "Doesn't it feel so good on your lips?" 
Patton moans, providing enough of an answer. In response, Janus grinds the bottom of his shoe roughly against Patton's cock, earning a pathetic mewl. 
"Janus, please-" 
"Shh," Janus coos, sweetly. "You don't have to beg. You've done more than enough to earn a pathetic little orgasm. I know what you want. Go on, Patton. Come for me. And when you've finished, you can lick your mess off my shoes." 
Nails digging into the ground beneath him, Patton's breath hitches. 
"Go on, Patton. Thank me. Thank me for letting you have such an amazing orgasm. Thank me for letting you lick my boots." 
"Thank you!" Patton immediately cries, bucking his hips upward and into Janus's shoe. "Thank you so much for- for letting me lick your shoes!" He cuts himself off with a moan, losing his train of thought for a few seconds. "Thank... thank you for touching me! Janus! Janus!" 
Janus has to place a hand over his own mouth to keep a shuddering gasp from escaping. Patton is so dirty without even realizing it! There was a lot to be explored. 
In a moments notice, Patton's crying out in a needy shout, semen spurting from his cock and messing the shoe he worked so hard on cleaning, as well as his own stomach. He's loud, red, and clearly overly pleasured as he comes, before finally Janus pulls his foot away, leaving Patton to pant as he comes down from his orgasm. 
He gasps and pants, before Janus taps his foot against the floor, leading Patton to blearily push himself up. 
"Come on, dear, you still have to clean up your mess," Janus urges, which has Patton immediately crawling forward, prepared to repeat the cycle for as long as Janus wants him to. 
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de-vile · 1 year
Text
Dipping back into the Sanders sides fandom to say that Patton and Janus now CANONICALLY hang out go on dates and I am absolutely floored because they implied that they do it all the time dhsshevhsvw a win for Moceit shippers
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prodigal-explorer · 3 months
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my roleplay information/application!
hey guyssss, so like i'm kinda desperate for rp partners so i'm just gonna try my luck here and see if any of y'all are interested in rping with me! feel free to read through this information and message me if you are interested!! as long as you meet my requirements, i would love to rp with you!!
basic information
i am 18 (19 in a few weeks) and i'm okay rping with any age, but i will not rp anything relating to nsfw with a minor. not even implied nsfw, it's just very uncomfortable. but if you're 18+, i'll rp anything on this list with you!
i only rp semi-lit/descriptive. this means at least five sentences, detailed responses that aren't just surface level. it's hard to respond to stuff that's lazy, so please please please just put in the effort if you want high quality responses in return!
the fandoms i roleplay are sanders sides, undertale, your turn to die, and omori. i dabble in oc rp, but it's not very common for me since i don't really have many ocs that i like enough to rp with.
my favorite types of roleplay are heavy angst and whump. i love really dark concepts, and it's rare that i won't do something that's dark and angsty. i struggle with concepts that are just fluff because i prefer rps with a lot of conflict and struggle.
my only triggers are constant discussion about body type/comparing body types and descriptive talk of medical needles. other than that i will do literally anything lol.
i am filipino-american, audhd, physically disabled, and i love to incorporate these aspects of my identity into the characters i play. if you don't like that, we probably won't make very good rp partners.
i hate hate HATE poking. please don't remind me of the rp after ten minutes of me not responding. please don't remind me of the rp after ten HOURS of me not responding. i know it exists, i just need time to reply. if you nag me about responding, i probably will wait even longer to reply because it's intimidating.
i love to chat oorp! feel free to leave a silly message, even if it has nothing to do with rp!
scroll all the way to the bottom of the post if you want to see writing examples!! below are just specific tidbits of information pertaining to each fandom i rp!
sanders sides specific information
the main side i love to play is roman. i will always want to play roman in every single tss rp, he's just me, he's my number one homie, my favorite character of all time.
i can also play any of the other sides, but my characterization for them is not as solid as roman.
i don't really like patton in roleplays unless he's a minor character or an antagonist/villain. i am very good at playing patton as a villain, but i don't really like playing him in any other context. i have so many aus where patton is a villain or antagonist, so if that's your jam, you've come to the right place!
i will do mindscape or human aus, i love both!
i am okay with ocs but i will not do canon side x female oc. it just makes me very uncomfortable to ship sides with female characters.
some of my favorite ships are roceit, prinxiety, logince, anaroceit, analogical, intrulogical, and loceit.
the only ships i WILL NOT do are moxiety, royality, moceit, logicality, intruality, and remrom. every other ship, i'm completely okay with.
i love rping as remy or emile picani!!
i have SO MANY IDEAS for this fandom. like literally hundreds of aus. so please message me if you want to rp anything with angst, or drama, or anything like that because i have SO MUCH.
undertale specific information
so fun fact i'm actually kind of bad at undertale rp.
it's not that i'm awful i just don't have a lot of experience, but i'm working on it!
the main characters i like to play are papyrus, undyne, alphys, toriel, asgore, and gaster.
i can also play asriel/flowey, sans, frisk, mettaton, grillby, and chara if necessary.
i am totally fine with ocs, bring them on!
i don't really like rps with the au sans stuff? nothing against it, i just don't really know much about it and in the nicest way possible i don't really care. i prefer to stick with canon and prequel/sequel aus instead of aus that change up the characters' personalities and stuff.
my favorite undertale au of all time is handplates i have so many thoughts about it and i would love to rp it!
i love angsty rps but undertale is actually one of the only fandoms where i love to rp fluff for it. undertale is just such a goofy game and i love emulating that style of humor in rp!
ships i enjoy are soriel, papyton, alphyne, sansby, and whatever the ship name for alphys x gaster is?
the only undertale ships i WILL NOT rp are anything involving the child characters (frisk, chara, asriel, monster kid), and anything that ships undyne with a guy. i'm also not a huge fan of asgore x toriel but i'll do it if you really want me to!
your turn to die specific information
i am so new to rping in this fandom but i really want to anyway!! trust, i know all the lore, i just need some solid experience!
my favorite characters to play are jou, reko, nao, gin, kai, shin, hiyori, and sara.
i will play q-taro, mishima, or alice if necessary!
i am very bad at keiji, i don't think i can play him well.
i love canon and au roleplays equally! i would love to do either way!
i like pretty much all the ships, it would be easier to list ships i don't like.
i don't like any ships that involve the little kids (kanna, gin, hinako), any ships with a huge age gap (especially sara x keiji), and shin x hiyori. it's just...no.
omori specific information
i am very new to the fandom, so please have mercy on me if i get something wrong lol!
my favorite characters to play are kel, hero, aubrey, and mari!
i can play sunny if necessary.
i will not play basil. i actually don't like basil being present in roleplays, he's just a character i personally dislike. i'm fine with him showing up occasionally as a minor character, but i just don't like him being a big part of roleplays.
i will roleplay canon and aus! i love both! but bear in mind i am a bit more hesitant to rp ships in canon, but in aus i have zero reservations!
my favorite ships are anything involving sunny, kel, and aubrey being together, but my number one otp is hero x mari!
the only ships i WILL NOT do are ships that have basil in them, especially basil x sunny or basil x kel. they just don't sit right with me personally.
i don't really know much about the minor characters of the game...i might need a bit of guidance if you want to use a character that isn't a part of the main six! but i am completely fine with it as long as you're okay with me being a bit clueless.
writing samples!!!
The streets were soft, the dusty sidewalks concealed by powdery snow that made Brooklyn look like a wedding. Roman stepped lightly, wondering how high he would have to hold himself to keep his foot from sinking in the snow, ruining the shiny white blanket that protected his bare feet from the cruel asphalt.
His book remained tucked under his jacket, as if it needed protection from the biting wind. Roman didn’t think it was possible for something that carried such beautiful notions and ideas to be unfeeling, so he acted as though there was a beating heart somewhere between the pages. Nobody had ever told him there wasn’t one, so what was the harm in believing if it made the sky feel brighter, and the air feel warmer, and the world feel more connected?
When he came back to the small, tucked-away alley that he and his brothers were currently living in, he was happy to see a little fire that he could warm himself beside while he opened his new book, aching to see what was inside.
--
"Protect...me?"
Roman was unfamiliar. He was always used to protecting other people. He was tall, graceful and beautiful. Couldn't really throw a punch, but he had a way with his words that could get him absolutely anything he wanted. Including peace. He was used to standing between bullies and victims, seducing with his sweet smile and long eyelashes. Making anybody feel like they've been blessed just looking at him. With his parents always gone, and nobody to hold him during nightmares, Roman had gotten used to holding himself. But now, he just wanted to be protected so badly. He wanted to be truly loved by somebody besides himself.
"Okay..." he whispered, "Okay."
--
"Oh! Do you guys want to go to that restaurant across the street?" Patton asked, "We performed so well tonight, I think we all deserve a treat! Virgil, you hit that syncopation perfectly, and Janus, that riff was amazing! The crowd went wild for us! Drinks will be on me, as long as you all promise not to drink too much. I'll be the designated driver too. What do you say??"
Of course, this invitation was not extended to Logan. Patton didn't even notice Logan in the area, assuming that he was off sweeping the stage or packing up the van. Patton was the one who decided what everybody did, and he usually gave Logan the grease-work like that. He didn't really care very much about Logan, just because Logan wasn't as close to the group. There wasn't that bond of performing show after show, having fans that requested autographs, being followed and gushed over by paparazzi.
Since Logan was never onstage, nobody knew the face or identity of the man who wrote the songs that all these fans were so crazy about. And Patton sort of preferred it that way. He didn't really like the idea of Logan being a face of their band. Unlike Janus and Virgil, Patton wasn't sure how the public eye would recieve Logan. The man wasn't remotely ugly, but he was rather plain-looking. He tended to blend into the background of the rooms he occupied. He wasn't the type of look one would expect to be in a hugely successful band.
All the others had their "niche". Patton was the sweetheart, the nice one, the innocent one. Virgil was the quiet, brooding, mysterious one. And Janus was the charmer, able to seduce anyone with a wink and a smile. What was Logan? He didn't talk very much, he wasn't particularly nice, brooding, or seductive. Patton didn't like that Logan didn't exactly have an archetype. He didn't quite fit in.
--
Roman tilted his head with a polite smile and an appropriate amount of interest as Logan disclosed his name. It was nothing familiar to him, but he did think it was a beautiful-sounding name. He always loved when people's first and last names started with the same letter. It felt like a name out of a fairy-tale when it had that feature.
Listening to what Logan was saying, Roman couldn't help but go red, very embarrassed. He was bad at English, but he certainly wasn't stupid. He could tell that Logan was euphemizing heavily in order to preserve Roman's feelings, which made Roman both embarrassed that Logan felt the need to do this, and honored that Logan cared so much about how he felt. It was a really sweet gesture, honestly.
"You write music too?" he asked, very curious. "I would love to sing a song by you wrote. You will...pay me? Money?"
Roman wondered if Logan was offering him a job, or just wanting to have a jam session as friends and colleagues. He would be happy with either option, but he wanted to manage his expectations there and then, so there would be less awkwardness from false assumptions.
--
Roman looked at it and smiled as he read through the lyrics, his eyes carefully scanning from left to right as he ingested each lyric. His smile only grew.
"It is okay," he said, "I like messy handwriting. It means...it means your brain moves fast, and your hand must hurry to follow. I like this song. I think...I want to sing it. Do you want me to sing here? In front of everyone?"
Roman would definitely be willing to give Logan's song some publicity. And he adored the thrill of singing a song for the first time in front of a whole crowd of people. Roman wasn't the type to get stage fright. The more risky a performance was, the more excited he was to try and execute it. Roman had a bit of a shame deficiency, such was obvious with him singing those lyrics he wrote out loud multiple times.
His eyes were shining with enthusiasm, but also, with gratitude. He was thankful to Logan for the opportunity he had to bring this song to life, this brand new song that no one had ever heard before. The idea that its first breath of auditory life would be coming from Roman's own voice was so romantic that it almost made Roman want to sing it right there and then so he wouldn't have to wait anymore.
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Text
Try, Try, Try
Read on Ao3 Part 1 Part 2
Warnings: implied/referenced suicide, implied/referenced bullying
Pairings: prinxiety, moceit
Word Count: 3974
Virgil comes home with flowers one day.
Janus blinks in surprise when the door opens to reveal Remus first, looking back over his shoulder followed by a bouquet with his other son's hoodie sleeves wrapped around the stems. He sets aside his book and stands up to meet his children, pulling Remus in for a cuddle first before addressing the, um, flowery elephant in the room.
"Those are pretty."
"Thanks. Uh, Roman gave them to me."
Janus blinks again. "Roman gave them to you?"
"Yeah." Remus shuffles but remains quiet as Virgil turns the bouquet this way and that. "We, um, we were just leaving school after the club meeting and he was there, with them."
A light pink dusts the top of his cheeks as he smiles almost unconsciously at the flowers. Janus watches as he looks up at him, smile slowly widening.
"I never thought anyone would give me flowers."
Oh, my precious boy…
"Well, then," Janus says, reaching out to ruffle his hair, "we'd better find a vase for those."
Virgil squawks in protest but allows himself to be guided into the kitchen. Janus follows, fatherly need to tease his baby warring with his fatherly need to check why Remus is being so quiet. In the end, when he glances over to check on Remus, Remus shakes his head subtly and indicates Virgil.
Not while he's in the room, then. Understood.
Dinner passes uneventfully, save for the glances Virgil can't help shooting at the flowers. Janus offers to have them in his room instead but Virgil insists the light is better for them down here, and, well, what is Janus supposed to do except ruffle his hair again? It's been so long since he's seen Virgil so genuinely excited and flustered about something, let him enjoy it.
Of course, when Virgil does eventually make the retreat to his room, he sobers. He watches and waits to hear the click of Virgil's bedroom door before turning all of his attention to Remus.
"I don't think Roman bought them for Virgil," is Remus's opening blow, "and I don't—I don't know why he did buy them."
Swallowing, Janus nods and beckons him over to the couch. Remus comes, sitting next to him and curling up into a little ball. "What makes you think that?"
"Roman looked surprised that we were still at school. He was walking past the building, not waiting for us to come out. And he looked super shocked that Virgil was staring at the flowers. I think he even went to hide them behind his back." Remus snorts. "Of course he doubled down on the whole 'bought them for you' thing as soon as he saw Virgil, so…"
Janus hums, fingers idly toying with the hair at the back of Remus's neck. A pit opens up in his stomach and he tries to swallow it down. "Did you tell Virgil any of this?"
"Hell no. You saw him, he's the most excited he's ever been. He's in love." Remus spits the word out like it's poison. "He thinks the sun shines outta Roman's ass."
Janus just barely manages to contain his snort but taps lightly on Remus's shoulder. "Remus."
Remus sighs and leans against him. "No, I didn't tell him. I—you saw how excited he was, he—"
A pause.
"I'm not gonna fuck this up for him before I know for sure, okay?"
"I know, little anomaly." Janus leans down to kiss his forehead. "I'm so proud of you for handling this so well, you know that, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, get off, Dad."
"Never."
Despite his advice to Remus—and to himself, let's be honest—Janus can't stop thinking about his son's words. Is it possible that Roman bought those flowers for someone else? Is he cheating on Virgil? He's not too proud to admit he wouldn't put it past him. That dinner did some to allay his suspicions of Roman, but anyone can put on a facade for just one night. His heart clenches at the thought of Virgil finding out Roman's been cheating on him, of the meltdown and isolation that would surely come after, how much progress Virgil's made with coming out of his shell and how proud all three of them are for him because of it. And oh, what of the fight that would surely come between his boys afterwards, where Remus would barely restrain himself from saying I told you so, and Virgil would scream at him.
He hopes against all hope that whatever support he can provide for them would be enough.
He's glad Remus didn't tell Virgil, because he can feel the doubts niggling in the back of his own mind as he tries to continue with his life. He does his best to ignore them, saying he needs to trust Virgil's judgment, let what's going to happen happen, he can't protect him his whole life—even though he wants to—but when he sees a familiar figure walking down the street with a bouquet of flowers as he's sitting in his car one day, he contemplates doing nothing for a grand total of three seconds before he cautiously starts the car and pulls into the street.
He follows Roman down the blocks, past the school, past the theater, until they reach a stretch of empty road across the street from a wrought-iron fence. Roman turns into the gate and starts down a narrow path. Janus quickly pulls over behind the last parked car and watches him, frowning as he takes in the green grass and crumbling shed.
What could Roman be doing here? Unless he has very strange ideas about dating places, it's unlikely he's meeting someone here. And the flowers in his hands aren't going to make up for it for most people.
Then Janus sees the headstones and barely resists the urge to curse himself out.
A graveyard. Roman's going to a graveyard.
A quick glance around shows that Roman's stopped. He's stood in front of one of the headstones, his back facing Janus. He bends down, laying the flowers at the foot of it. After a moment, he reaches out and brushes some dirt off of the stone. His head bows, and even from so far away, Janus can see his shoulders start to shake.
He shouldn't be here, he realizes belatedly, this is clearly a private moment. He's intruding and being creepy. He should leave. Right now.
Right now.
But then another car pulls up across the street and another man gets out. He's near Janus's age, small round glasses perched on the edge of his nose, light blue raincoat over a buttoned polo and trousers. He goes to the gate and walks inside, right up the same path where Roman is.
Do as I say, Janus says internally to the memory of his sons, not as I do.
He watches as the man pauses next to Roman. Roman looks up and quickly gets to his feet, dusting off his pants and folding his hands behind his back. They're too far away for Janus to hear their conversation, but it's clear that Roman says something that the other man has heard before, because he shakes his head in that 'not this again' way Janus has perfected, thank you—and nods to the grave, saying something that makes Roman's shoulders tense and then slump. There's silence for a few moments before Roman mumbles something else and the man shakes his head.
Janus watches with a frown as the man reaches out to lay a hand on Roman's shoulder, but Roman flinches away. He mumbles something else before he turns, clearly wanting to run away but restricting himself to a brisk walk. The man watches him go, before he kisses his fingertips and touches the top of the headstone.
When he turns to walk back out to his car, Janus makes up his mind.
He gets out and leans against his car, waiting for the man to reach him. The man notices, because of course he does, and tilts his head before looking both ways and crossing the street.
"You were watching."
It's said softly enough that it's not a direct accusation, but Janus draws himself up all the same. "Yes, I was."
He nods to a retreating Roman.
"I do hope he wasn't bothering you."
The man glances over his shoulder too, before shaking his head. "No, he wasn't. Did you come with him?"
"Yes."
"What for?"
"Fatherly concern."
The man looks at him, his gaze traveling up and down Janus before looking at his face again. "You're not his father."
Damnit. "No."
The man spreads his hands, some of the friendliness beginning to leave his voice. "Then what're you doing here?"
Shit.
"That boy is dating one of my sons," Janus says, caving in, "and my son came home with flowers that weren't originally meant for him."
"Roman's dating one of your sons?"
"Yes."
The man nods, glancing over his shoulder again, before he pinches the bridge of his nose and looks back up with a smile. "Sorry, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I'm Patton."
"Janus." They shake hands. "I apologize for intruding, but…I was afraid my son's partner was cheating on him."
"Yes, well, that would do it, wouldn't it?"
The two laugh for a moment before Janus nods to the graveyard again. "Forgive me if this is too personal, but…whose grave is Roman visiting?"
Patton looks at him for a long moment. "Do you have time for coffee?"
"Thank you," Patton says as Janus sets their drinks down on the little wooden table. The coffee shop buzzes around them as he takes his seat too, shrugging off his coat. "I do like this little place."
"Can't say I've ever been."
"They do incredible milkshakes in the summer."
"I'll have to try it out."
They both take a sip of their respective drinks before Patton sighs and adjusts his glasses. "Thank you for agreeing to sit down, by the way. I figured this conversation would be better had sitting down."
"I can't say my curiosity hasn't been piqued."
The corner of Patton's mouth quirks up before he takes a deep breath. "Roman was visiting my son's grave."
Janus blinks. "Your…your son's grave?"
"Yes."
"I—I'm sorry for your loss," he manages weakly, the bottom of his stomach freefalling toward the center of the earth, "I, um…"
Pull yourself together, man!
"I'm sorry for your loss," he says again, stronger this time, "I can't imagine how horrible that must've been."
Patton nods. "Thank you. It…well. One day at a time, right?"
Janus nods dumbly. The first thing I do when I get home is going to be cuddling both my little gremlins. No protests. Family cuddle night.
"How long?"
"A few years now." Patton glances out the window to the graveyard across the street. "Still feels unreal sometimes."
"Mm." What the hell do I say to that? "What was his name?"
"Jamie."
"That's a wonderful name." Why did I say that? What the fuck does that have to do with anything?
Patton, thankfully, seems to be at least somewhat endeared by his bumbling, because he laughs. "Yes, I thought so too."
"Is—sorry, I don't want to ask so many personal questions."
"Ask away. I don't mind talking about him."
"Is the mother still in the picture?"
"Separated but still friends." Patton takes a drink. "It was…well, as I'm sure you can imagine, it was hard to keep going after losing him. We decided it wasn't going to last—the marriage, that is—and we're better off as friends now."
"Still, that must've been challenging."
He drags his finger along the rim of his cup. "It was better, actually, in a weird way. When we were still together, it felt like we were trying to force it. Actually talking about it and deciding the best way to move on was to, well, move on, it was…it helped."
"I'm glad to hear it."
Patton nods, still staring at the tabletop before he shakes himself. "Sorry, I don't mean to go on and on."
"I'm the creep who was watching you at your son's grave," Janus deadpans, "you're the more reasonable one here."
He laughs again and shakes his head. "Whatever you say."
Janus takes another drink before he steels himself and opens his mouth again. "I have to ask: why does Roman visit your son's grave?"
Patton smiles at him over the rim of his cup. "You haven't asked how Jamie died yet."
"Uh, should I have?"
"That's normally the order that people ask. 'Who is it,' then 'how long ago,' then 'how.'" He points a finger at Janus. "You broke tradition, though, you asked about his mother next. Well, I guess technically you asked about his name."
"Am—would you be comfortable telling me how he died?"
"It's part of why Roman comes to visit him, so yes." Patton sets his cup down. "Jamie committed suicide."
Oh, fuck.
Are Remus and Virgil too big to fit in my bed anymore?
"I'm so sorry."
Patton just nods because really, what are you supposed to say to that? "Thank you. But yes, in his…note that he left, he—well, he left two."
"Two?"
"One on his pillow for me and his mother, and one…" Patton takes a deep breath. "One he sent to Roman."
A horrible feeling rises in Janus's throat.
"We didn't know about the second one at first," Patton continues, "we were too upset that our boy had—well, that he wasn't going to be with us anymore. But then we read the note again and he—he blamed Roman for…he said if we were looking for someone to blame, it was Roman's fault."
Janus's back hits the chair with a thump.
"We'd heard about the bullying, but we didn't—I didn't know it was that bad. And I certainly didn't think he'd send another note to Roman, but…" He shrugs helplessly. "I guess we can only know so much about our children."
Janus just nods dumbly.
"He came to the funeral, you know?" He taps his cup on the table absentmindedly. "He didn't come inside the church for the service, and he stood far away from the grave while the burial was happening, but we saw him after everyone else was leaving and…goodness."
Patton shakes his head, fingers on his idle hand twitching.
"He looked like he'd been crying non-stop since Jamie died. He was wearing a suit he must've borrowed from his father and he'd clearly done his best to make himself look presentable. He brought his note—the one Jamie sent him—and he looked so young."
A child in his father's suit with his eyes still red and swollen from crying. Janus's heart clenches despite himself.
"We read the note Jamie sent him and…" Patton sighs. "It was hard, you know? Because we'd just buried our son and here was the boy who'd bullied him so severely, he felt the need to take his own life, but that note was…vicious."
Janus swallows around the lump in his throat. "…'vicious?'"
Patton shrugs. "Like I said. Jamie blamed Roman."
Oh.
Oh,
Oh, no.
"And then he said he wasn't going to make any excuses, because he didn't have any, and he—oh, he tried so hard not to cry." Patton closes his eyes. "He just said he was sorry. That he was so sorry and he would spend the rest of his life sorry. He asked us if there was anything we needed, or anything we wanted him to do, he would do it. He—are you a religious man?"
"Can't say so, no."
"Ever been to church?"
"Once or twice when I was younger."
"I swear to you it looked like someone put the fear of God into him. He looked like he was confessing—and I guess he was—but that we had the power to damn him for all eternity. I've never seen a child look so scared but try so hard to hold it in."
A car drives by outside. Someone at the counter calls out an order for Carol.
Janus's chest wars with itself. The part of him that's still sitting in Remus's room, holding his boy as he cries himself to sleep hisses that it's about damn time Roman learned that his actions have consequences. The part of him that ruffled Virgil's hair as his son blushed at having a boyfriend says that they're all still children.
He can't get the image of Roman in his father's suit out of his head. He knows that boy. He spoke to that boy. In his kitchen, while his sons weren't in the room, ready to be eviscerated.
"Sorry," Patton says suddenly, "that was a lot."
"No, no, it's fine. I asked." Janus pulls himself together and looks back at him. "Thank you for telling me. He—has Roman been coming to Jamie's grave ever since?"
Patton nods, tapping his fingers on the table. "Once a week, at least. Brings flowers with him each time, or he'll bring a letter. He's said I can read it if I want, he owes that to me."
"Do you?"
"No. I've…goodness." He shakes himself. "You said Roman was dating one of your sons?"
Janus nods.
"How…has he been doing with that?"
He sighs. "It's not been the easiest. On the surface, Roman's been very good to him, and he says as much. But Roman used to bully his brother too and so…it's complicated."
"What's your son's name?"
"The one Roman is dating's named Virgil. His brother is Remus."
"You're Remus's father?"
Janus frowns, then realization dawns on his face. "Jamie Everheart. Yes, I—I think I've met your son. He was—he was a wonderful boy."
"Remus DeLuca. Yes, I—oh, I can't—" Patton's expression does several comical transformations. "Yes. I can imagine having Roman dating Virgil would be complicated."
"That's one way to put it, yes." Janus shakes his head. "I'm…torn. Because at times it's hard to figure how the boy who bullied Remus is the same boy who keeps an extra hoodie and emergency snacks in his car for Virgil."
Patton shakes his head. "I don't know. Honestly, I don't. That boy is miles away from the bully I remember hearing about. Of course that doesn't mean none of it happened or that anyone is obligated to forgive him, but…"
He takes a deep breath.
"That boy walks like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looks too old and too young for it."
"Have you ever spoken to his parents?"
"I spoke to his mother once. Only once, when all of it was still going on. I thought—I don't know, giving her a piece of my mind would help straighten Roman out, but she—" He shakes his head. "I don't know if she didn't believe me or if she just didn't care. I've never seen his father."
"I haven't either."
"For whatever it's worth," Patton says, sitting up properly, "I think it'd be worth keeping an eye on Roman."
Janus sits up too. "What for?"
"He may not be the bully anymore, but that boy isn't alright. He's…" Patton hesitates. "I don't know. I don't think he's likely to hurt either of your sons, not anymore, but he's not as mature and collected as he presents himself to be."
"I know." He goes to take another sip of his coffee when he realizes it's gone cold. "Sorry. I didn't mean to keep you this long for something this…maudlin."
Patton laughs. "Would you believe me if I said I almost enjoyed it?"
"No, I don't think I would."
Patton stands, pulling his coat on. "It was good to meet you, Janus. We should get coffee again."
"Maybe without all this talk of sons and troubles, hm?"
"Yes, I think I'd like that."
"Dad? What happened, why'd you take so…" Remus trails off when he sees Janus all but stumble through the front door. "Dad?"
Janus fumbles out of his shoes and coat and lurches across the room with his arms open. Remus scrambles up from the couch and wraps his arms furiously around his waist.
"Oh, Remus, my little anomaly…my Remus…" Janus isn't even sure what he's saying. "My baby boy…"
"V! V, get your ass down here!"
"Why, what do you want?"
"It's Dad!"
Shuffling and banging and muffled curses come from upstairs and then his other baby is flying down to the living room and crashing into them. He just opens his arm and cuddles his sweetheart to his chest.
"Hi, Dad," comes the muffled voice, "missed you."
"I missed you too, sweetie," Janus mumbles, his voice cracking, "my boys…my sweet boys…"
"C'mon, Dad, let's sit on the couch."
"Yeah, let's—the pillows are already down here for movie night, let's just sit, okay?"
He lets his babies push him onto the couch and promptly pulls them close again, peppering kisses over their heads like they're six years old again. His boys…his precious boys. He holds onto Remus's waist and Virgil's shoulders, just closing his eyes and reminding himself that they're here, they're safe, they're okay.
"Dad?"
"Mm?"
"Are you—are you crying?"
"Yeah, sweetie. I think so."
"Do I need to kill someone?"
"Remus!"
"What? Like you don't want to!"
He lets out a watery chuckle. "You don't have to kill anyone, sweetie. Just let me hold you."
"…okay, as long as you promise."
"I promise." He kisses Remus's cheeks and pulls him even closer. "My Remus…"
Virgil shifts to give Remus's head more room and squeaks when Janus holds him tighter. "Dad!"
"Am I hurting you, sweetie?"
"No, you're just—normally you're not this…clingy."
"I missed my babies, that's all."
"Oh, my god, Dad." Virgil's face gets warmer and Janus just ruffles his hair. "You're so embarrassing."
"Mhm. And there's nothing you can do about it."
They end up ordering pizza that night because Janus doesn't want either of his boys to leave his sight for very long. They watch a movie and fall asleep in a pile on the couch, still curled up around each other. Janus watches his sleeping sons and runs his fingers through their hair like he did when they were still small enough to fit in his bed.
My sweeties…my babies.
As he drifts off to sleep, though, he catches sight of the flowers, almost completely wilted in the vase. They're going to have to throw them out soon.
And he thinks of Patton, whose son is buried under flowers, and of Roman in a suit too big for him, standing with a note clutched in his hand.
And of how out of all the things he's heard about Roman, from Remus, from Virgil, and from Patton, the one that sticks out the most in his mind is scared.
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transfemlogan · 2 months
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is it too late to ask about your problems with canon moceit. im really curious cuz i like their canon dynamic
ITS NEVER TOO LATE !!!
okay so okay. okay. okay.
i will say i do not like patton ships in general, minus royality, so some of my moceit dislike stems from that. like again im very neutral on ships, but i tend to stray away from patton ships. hes 1 of my least fave characters so i just dont like imagining him in dynamics.
BUT! a lot of my moceit hate stems fron how they're written. i don't like how janus'& patton's relationship in canon is written. i know we havent gotten a lot of in canon interactions bcuz its been almost 4 years but it feels very, very fast past & like... not how a relationship should span.
i know people get so pissy when you say this but it is inherently pattons fault that the dark sides exist— it's all of the light sides fault, dont get me wrong, but it is especially patton's fault metaphorically. i am not trying to demonise him or hate on him or like say he's the villain or whatever dumb shit, but patton represents thomas' morality. the dark sides exist because thomas views them as inherently evil & thomas' views and opinions are morality. that is the definition of morality.
metaphorically speaking, thomas' morality is the reasons the dark sides exist and patton represents his morality.
janus is a dark side. he was casted aside because thomas views lying as an inherently a bad thing because he is catholic. patton casted janus side because patton thought lying was an inherently bad thing.
so when i see like... janus & patton interact in the into the unknown video or in the 5 years video it's so strange to me to see there be 0 awkwardness. no grudges held against each other. no mishaps or underlying opinions. theyre just ... friends?
like, if you are pushed and demonised by this person, you are not going to just casually talk to them after getting accepted. i cant even remember if patton apologised to janus at all in POF. & like janus knows how pattom treats roman & c!tjomas & i know janus isnt going to demonise patton back (well. glances at how he treated roman. maybe he would.) BUT THERE SHOULD BE SOME SORT OF LIKE. "HEY U STILL DID THIS SHITTY THING TO ME."
like it's not a one time thing, for like 30+ years thomas did not know he had a deceitful side or a dark creativity or whatever the hell orange is. this is 30 years that the dark sides were demonised and treated like this. this is years of their life. that shit fucks with you. it's like getting bullies for years and now all of a sudden your bullies are like "ok ur fine now" except way fucking worse.
& especially for patton to not be hesitant to trust janus still or slip up and say something that implies that he still doesnt agree w/ lying or something or like. saying something that he knows is bad now but has thought for years so it's just a habit.
the fact that there's no hesitation on either of their ends to me is sooo EUGHH. like it'd be way more interesting to see them stumble over their friendship & struggle but they just DONT. DO THAT. & ITS TERRIBLE I HATE IT.
& i hate the idea of them ever being in a romantic relationship with each other. like... patton, you demonised this guy for fucking years. you treated him like shit but now you're nice and attracted to him. like it feels like one of those awfully written enemies 2 lovers. like thats.. very weird to me.
outside of canon, i think their dynamic is kind of fun. like . not exactky polar oppisites like how remus & patton are or virgil & patton are but not exactly different sides of the same coin like how janus & logan are. but like. i dont even know how 2 describe their dynamic. reaching for the same goal with the same methods but very very very different opinions.
IDK LIKE. YEAH i understand the reason 4 why people ship them, but they have the same issues as prinxiety 4 me i think. like acting as if their past can just disappear like that. 30 years is a lot of time of your life to be treated like that, and a simple "i trust you" or whatever will never erase that. & im not saying they cant try or that they shouldnt (they definitely should!). just that there needs to be more push back. more struggles within their relationship for it to feel realistic. (& a romantic relationship just icks me out. janus you should not get into a relationship with that man.)
ERRMM AND ALSO JANUS IS ALREADY DATING LOGAN NOT PATTON SOOO PATTON CAN GO AWAY 🙄🙄🙄 /J /SILLY
(if any moceit shippers want 2 talk abt moceit on this post, feel free !!!) (also the opposite is true, if u hate moceit like me feel free 2 express that also.)
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