#in an abusive relationship

[amu-says-hav-says]

I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled. 

I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1.  the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “...You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside. 

Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY

#good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 #GO2 #GO2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #not me going to my basically unused sideblog that isn't GO related because I NEED TO YELL THIS SOMEWHERE #I mean outside of the relationship thing there are so many ways #that Nina and Crowley line up and Zira and Maggie #but the girls story isn't about them as people #it's about this relationship the boys are tryna push on them and what that relationship reflects about the boys #anyway I'm on my first rewatch for all the clue I missed #so I imagine I'll only spot more clues to berate myself about as I go #HOW DID I FALL FOR ITTTTTT #I can't believe I was so blind #OFC the Disaster Puppy Lesbian was Crowley #and OFC the Emotionally Abused Tortoise was Aziraphale

[tomurakii]

I feel like I'm going insane.

Why does Gale's "good ending" if you don't date him imply that he gets back with Mystra.

Why does the grown ass woman who intentionally isolated 17-year-old Wyll and trapped him in a relationship get to hang out in your camp (and potentially sleep with you).

Why do the writers (head writer and literally Wyll's personal character writer included!) have so little respect and tact when talking about their characters' traumas only when they are male and their abuser is female.

Nobody would find it funny if the Christmas animatic had Astarion blush at a picture of Cazador. Nobody would think it was "a good resolution" if Karlach saved and then dated Gortash at the end of the game.

And the characters aren't treated well outside of their relationships either, the writers love to laugh when people call Wyll boring or Gale annoying. I dunno what's worse: all the extra in-game dialogue calling Gale pathetic, or the fact that Wyll barely has any additional dialogue at all. With the additional factors of Wyll being the only Black companion and Gale being the only one with a disability that is somewhat "inconvenient" to the player (because God forbid a person need help), it just comes across as implicit bias from the writers themselves. To create these representations and then shit on them for traits that not only may be relatable to your audience, but traits that you gave them.

When Neil accepted the award for best performance he told people who relate to Astarion that "you are not alone." It's a beautiful sentiment, but paired with writers fetishising Wyll's abuse and saying Gale's best ending is the one where he kills himself, it comes across as though for POC, the chronically ill/disabled, or male victims of women, the statement does not apply.

#i thought the whole point was that theyre all victims #but with how these writers treat gale's relationship with mystra and Wyll's abuse by mizora I'm honestly not sure #bg3 #larian critical #baldur's gate 3 #wyll ravenguard #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 wyll #bg3 gale

[lostmf]

#sadnees #tw depressing thoughts #i'm sad #depressing shit #childhood trauma #childhood #depressing life #quotes #tw depressing stuff #poetic #complex ptsd #childhood ptsd #childhood truama #toxic relationship #emotional abuse #narcissistic abuse #tw self destruction #self h@rm #tw self destructive behavior #tw: sucidal thoughts #wound tw #tw ptsd #generational truama #daddy issues #tw abuse #heartbreak #this is a cry for help #help plz #ptsd vent #tw truama

[cock-holliday]

Adding to the post about staking our identities in being the “opposite” of what bigots think, but this deserves it’s own post…

The response to “gay relationships are depraved and evil” is NOT! Is NOT IS NOT IS NOT “queer relationships are inherently pure and free of toxicity and abuse uwu, we’re not like straight people”

You will not get the chance to lean into this rhetoric I will hit you so fast with a rock.

Queer relationships are not inherently healthier than straight ones, wlw relationships are not inherently healthier than mlm relationships cause phew there’s no icky boys—which is where abuse comes from!

Relationships are relationships and anyone has the potential to be an abuser if they are abusing someone. No, being gay doesn’t make you evil and abusive but it doesn’t make you NOT abusive. Abuser is not an identity, it is an action, and the perception that queer people can’t be abusive because we are oppressed lets queer abusers skate by!

Do not respond to homophobia with sanitizing people’s actions using their identity!

Nuance is so sexy please try it!

#LJsm #additionally (but not the main point) #the implication that since queer relationships are pure unlike straight ones #makes it sound like abuse is normal or should be expected in straight relationships! #and it’s not!!

[gay-otlc]

Actually I think we should talk about how incredibly fucked up it is for sapphic women to say shit like "I'm no better than a straight man 😔" when attracted to a woman in a way that isn't 100% pure and wholesome, or act like men's attraction to women is inherently dirty, predatory, or objectifying.

#like i mostly get impacted from this as a straight trans man #and the way people- even my friends- have acted like my attraction to women is now morally worse since i came out as trans #but this also affects like. bi/mspec men? it's shitty to shame them for their attraction to women! #and even cishet men. acting like objectification or predatory behavior is just inherent to male attraction to women #let's shitty men off the hook because 'they can't help it' or whatever #or victim blames anyone abused by a cishet man because 'what did you expect from being in a relationship with him' #yeah so like. sapphics stop saying this challenge #transhet #anti-transmasculinity #again i'm tagging because that's my personal experience with that sentiment but it has a ton of other issues too #antimasculism

[selfhealingmoments]

#toxic #toxicity #toxic people #toxic relationship #people pleaser #emotional abuse #childhood trauma #dysfunctional family #inspirational quotes #self help #positivity #new beginnings #new life #self improvement #mental health #self reflection #be yourself #letting go #life lessons

[thepeacefulgarden]

It doesn't matter what trauma they've been through. It doesn't matter what their ex did. It doesn't matter what their parents did/didn't do, or what their family of origin was like. It doesn't matter that they're under a lot of pressure at work. It doesn't matter what kind of day they had. It doesn't matter what mistakes, if any, you made. It doesn't matter what, if anything, you did wrong, or what, if anything, you could have done differently. They're not entitled to treat you badly.

#relationships #unhealthy relationships #abuse #self compassion #self care #self love #self respect

[neuroticboyfriend]

Abuse has a goal behind it, and a lot of the time, it's about changing the victims behavior. If someone screams at you for not doing X activity, eventually you learn to do X activity. If someone hits you when you defy them, eventually you learn not to defy them. If someone abuses you frequently enough, and you begin to break down to their will... It is possible to reach a point where it may seem like you're not being abused anymore.

They don't yell anymore because you stay quiet and do what you're told. They don't threaten you anymore because you don't voice even the slightest disagreement or need. What used to be screaming fighting arguments have become lectures at your expense. They may even praise you for doing what they want you to. And all those mundane moments - breakfast, the rare kind act - stand out more. Your perception of the relationship skews even more. It's all normal now.

And it's still abuse. It's just reached its end goal - wearing you down so badly that they don't need to overtly abuse you anymore to get what they want. All they need to do is make a joke, or complain to guilt you, or tell you want to do/not to do, etc. etc. The fact that's all it takes now doesn't make what's happening to you less severe - if anything, it means you're in much, much more danger than you could realize.

It's abuse. It's horrific. It's just not obvious anymore... and that's terrifying. You deserve so, so much better. You deserve to truly be safe - not to have your wellbeing held behind fearful compliance. That's not safety. That's not love. That's abuse. It being psychological doesn't make it less dangerous.

#messages to myself #softspoonie #abuse #domestic abuse #psychological abuse #covert abuse #overt abuse #abusive relationships #abusive parents #child abuse #surviving abuse #verbal abuse #mental abuse #mental health #trauma

[compassionatereminders]

But I do think part of healing from trauma means sometimes giving people the chance to treat you right. And no, I'm not talking about forgiving your abusers. Or giving random people endless chances to hurt you. But sometimes you gotta fight that voice that says everyone just wants to harm you and give someone a chance to get close enough to actually prove it wrong.

#recovery #trauma #relationships #kat gets serious #trauma tw #abuse tw

[neon-candies]

Happy Halloween!

Warnings for: Child abuse, emotional abuse, unhealthy relationship

Angel probably has this nightmare frequently after Annie was "born". And he probably tried to avoid talking about it at first. But it gets to a point where he can't even hide his fears and concerns. However that's a conversation for another time.

#annabelle content #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel angel dust #Hazbin Hotel Valentino #radiodust #radiodust fankid #hazbin hotel fankid #trigger warnings #child abuse #emotional abuse #unhealthy relationship

[queerism1969]

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #queer #radical feminists do interact #cool #this rules #cool shit #radical feminism #radical feminist safe #mysogyny #radical feminists do touch #radical feminist community #toxic relationship #toxic people #toxic parents #toxic love #toxic family #emotional abuse #trauma #breakup #divorce #regret #marriage #separation #parents