#in it you get to experience the hopelessness people feel you see just how bad the war is

[harmoonix]

I N S P I R A D O R A

☀️ (Astrology Observations) ☀️

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☀️~ Ray of Light ~ ☀️

☀️ - Sun conjunct Venus/Neptune natives really share a very beautiful personality, they're very positive and full of life

☀️ - Mars aspecting Lilith (h12) or (h13) = Bad bitch vibes, you do you and you don't accept nobody's disrespect

☀️ - Mercury - Moon aspects may really enjoy music like a LOT, and especially if you have one of these in air signs 100%%%%%%%

☀️ - Saturn aspecting Pluto can really have an overwhelming life, things can sometimes get down and you can feel hopeless at times. But you don't have to forget that you are strong and don't let their things put you down

☀️ - Sun at 6°. 18° degrees natives analyze everything they see. They can read people on their face, idk is like these natives have the power to see what's behind someone's emotions

☀️ - Neptune aspecting the ascendant natives sometimes have a hard time thinking about themselves, because they tend to prioritize others more than themselves

☀️ - Moon in Libra often gives the native fox face/ fox eye figure. for example watch out Madison Bee, Ariana Grande and Alexa Demie have Libra moons and their eyes are close to fox eyes

☀️ - Sagittarius Sun natives will be the people to call out all the lies, they can't accept to be lied on. I know numerous Sagittarius Suns who rather prefer to hear the truth than to be lied on

☀️ - If your boyfriend has an Fire Venus, be sure he'll be very passionate in everything he does. Venus in Fire Signs usually has a spark in their eyes when they do something with passion

☀️ - Mars square Moon/Sun has very strong emotions when they're getting angry, they will probably need some time alone because their personality can be destructive at times

☀️ - Erato (62) - aspecting Juno (3) = Very erotic relationship, and you can seek for eroticism in your life. Very erotic spouse aswell and I feel the tension already...

☀️ - Be careful at natives with Sun - Jupiter aspects in harsh aspects because their pride and ego sometimes it can be bigger than everything, I know someone with those aspects and omg she always thinks she's better than others (I need Maddie from Euphoria to slap her to reality)

☀️ - Neptune in the 12th house can often experience deja vu, they are spiritual and connected to their higher self

☀️ - Mercury at 10°, 22° degrees can be really into singing/ Capricorn degrees can influence and grant you success if you try your best

☀️ - Moon/Sun in the 9th house can be into occult/religion/witchcraft and they can share a communal love for Gods (if they believe in a God/source/universe etc)

☀️ - Sun/Venus/Moon in the 11th house make the best friendships, they connect with people so easily and they're so nice with people, is very hard to not be friends with them

☀️ - Mars conjunct/square/opposite Midheaven (MC) can cause others to see you as a competition and mostly jealousy. So most times is just better to mind your business and to not enter in a contact with people who can seem envy from the first sight

☀️ - Natives with Sagittarius Venus/Venus in the 9th have chances to be in a relationship with someone foreign/ far from home/ your spouse can be from another country/culture and honestly is so cute

☀️ - Saturn aspecting Venus can worry so much in relationships, some of these natives can even be over thinkers for their own reasons, I think another great lesson of theirs is to learn how to love without having difficulties

☀️ - If you want to have very chatty people in your life find someone with Gemini/Aquarius Moons because they are the most communicative out here,you can really talk about everything with them

☀️ - Capricorn Mars/Venus Men are really the gentleman of the zodiac, like the damn sir you really are a king (My Venus doesn't match with this one sadly but I met so many men with those placements and they were really amazing people! sorry my Venus doesn't match with it)

☀️ - Virgo Risings can attract really lovely people in their lives because of their 7H in Pisces, I love these placements so much, because your 7H is also ruled Jupiter who gives you so much luck

☀️ - 1st house ruller in the 6th house can be a big indicator that, these natives need to focus on themselves pretty much in their lives. You'll experience a lot of things that's for sure

☀️ - 1st house ruler in the 10th house on the other side, will mostly prioritize their job/career and that can grant them success in their lives

☀️ - 1st house ruler in the 7th house can prioritize relationships pretty much in this life, like they'll be always searching for that type of person who can be theirs forever, and be careful at enemies too most times they can be hidden

☀️ - Mercury at 3°, 15°, 27° degrees can indicate someone who likes to talk a lot, or just someone who needs to talk more

☀️ - Mars at 8°, 20° degrees makes the person attractive to the opposite sex (even if sometimes they don't want that) it's just attraction

☀️ - Natives with Midheaven (MC) at 2°, 7°, 14°, 19°, 26° degrees can make a good a first impression to the people who approach them

☀️ - Cancer Placements/4th house placements can be the best emotional supporters or the best emotional manipulators, it really depends on these placements and how act towards people

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☀️ Sun is such a very beautiful planet, Leo Risings are so lucky for having this gorgeous planet as their ruler 😭☀️💞

☀️ Have a very beautiful day full of light and full of love, let the Sun ☀️ rise on your street to make you feel better and to bless you ☀️

☀️°☀️°☀️°☀️°☀️°☀️°☀️°☀️°☀️°☀️°☀️°☀️°☀️°

- Harmoonix ☀️💞

#astrology #astro observations #astrology fyp #feelings #birth chart #astro notes #astrology observations #placements #astro community #horoscope #ascendant #venus #sun #sun aesthetics #sunlight #aesthetic #gold #leo #leo placements

[amourdivine]

𝐖𝐇𝐎'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅? ઉ   PICK A CARD

Hello lovelies, I hope you're having a wonderful week! This is perhaps the first heavily shadow work focused PAC I bring to you. I'm quite nervous to post this, since I know delivering these messages can be difficult and I don't like taking a harsh, judgmental approach. I hope this reading resonates. As always, feedback is highly appreciated! If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo ♡

paid readings are closed as of february 2024

none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise!

pick a card masterlist & information

how to choose your pile.  take a few deep breaths for and look at each and of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

୨୧ PILE ONE

who is your shadow self? eight of swords • knight of cups • nine of wands • queen of wands

Your shadow self is the fearful side of you attached to anxiety. The side of you that does not believe you can save yourself from bad situations and feels endlessly hopeless, helpless and trapped. It causes a self-fulfilling prophecy, one where you think you'll inevitably fail, so you self-sabotage (either consciously or not) and end up "proving" yourself right.

However, as helpless as your shadow feels, it never asks for help. It's trapped in a spiral of shame and self-doubt, even self-hatred. All of this happens mentally for most of you, to the point where your body is neglected or stuck in flight / freeze mode. I feel stuck in the gutter, unable to move in the sticky mud. Despite your best efforts to succeed, you may suffer from impostor's syndrome as well, an inability to see your worth, your beauty and your own light. It's almost as if you're scared of your own power, pile one. Very painful, very self-inflicted and something which you may have learn from childhood, maybe you got bullied a lot or were heavily criticized by the people around you. If that happened, I'm so sorry pile one. You deserved so much better. You still do.

how can you work with your shadow self? nine of cups • the sun • queen of swords • queen of wands

You know, when I was entering college, I had a counselor whose words were life changing to me. One day, he picked up a cup full of coffee and asked me: how do you get rid of the coffee, without throwing it out entirely? And I was puzzled. It wasn't possible. Him, in his neverending patience, took me to the water station and started pouring water onto it, until the coffee was cleared away and all that remained was clean, crystal liquid.

Maybe the bad things that happened still haunt you, but they can be drawn out by the good ones. Seek for the light, pile one. Seek the nurturing experiences, the days when you allow yourself to just be, seek the help, the love and stay open to the love. Stay open to the idea that yes, you are worthy, even if you do not feel like it, even if so many people have made you feel otherwise.

These wounds may not fade entirely with time, but you are more than them, always. Always. I know it's never easy to challenge what we've been taught about ourselves, but in order to unlearn all of that, you will have to learn the new things, the true things about you. If they said you were lazy - was that really true? Or were you just tired? You're not "naive", you're pure. You're not "too sensitive", you're in tune with your emotions.

The stories we tell ourselves hold power. What stories are you telling about yourself? Maybe it's time to switch to a new point of view, one where you can rewrite yourself as the person you were never allowed to be.

୨୧ PILE TWO

who is your shadow self? judgement • five of swords • ten of cups • king of wands

Your shadow self is the side of you that thrives in chaos - listen, that's not entirely a bad thing, after all, our shadow reflects something which we need to acknowledge, nurture and work with. However, when you perceive danger or feel threatened, you may turn to harsh words or hurtful actions to avenge yourself.

It can manifest in the form of extreme competitive behavior, the inability to rest, overworking, even maybe envy, jealousy and arrogance sometimes. Now, I'm not here to judge or shame you, you're safe here. I think you have and still feel the need to prove yourself to others, to prove them all wrong. Maybe other people told you that you couldn't do it - and you took it all personally, so personally that it crumbles your self-esteem when someone diminishes your efforts or accomplishments.

Your shadow side craves attention, praise and approval. You want to succeed, to be someone you're proud of, to just never feel insecure, diminished or ignored again. You can also turn possessive with loved ones, wondering if they really love you or if they are lying. There's a lot of skepticism here, too.

how can you work with your shadow self? judgement • ace of pentacles • three of pentacles • eight of swords

Acknowledge your feelings and these insecurities. "Fake it 'till you make it" doesn't always work. Being vulnerable is, ironically, also being strong. Understanding your limitations and allowing for other people to collaborate with you (and vice-versa) will take you even further in life.

Your sense of justice is commendable. Make sure you're using it for justice indeed, and not just vengeance. Your ambition can walk hand in hand with your desire to do good, to make space for everyone else to shine, to open up to others, let them see all of you. No one can love perfection - even if they could, what's there to love about something or someone so perfect that they barely feel human?

It's okay to be scared, to feel insecure, to not shove difficult emotions under the rug. We cannot be at our 100% all the time. And we cannot please everyone, all the time. What you can do is praise yourself, let others praise you when they do and accept it gracefully, making sure you're spreading your warmth and wisdom to others as well. See, I think you have overcome a lot and a lot of people could use your help, either in the form of advice, resources or a shoulder to lean on.

You have leadership potential, pile two. Don't limit yourself by being alone. We were never meant to make it on our own.

୨୧ PILE THREE

who is your shadow self? ace of wands • page of swords • three of cups • king of pentacles

Your shadow self is someone who may indulge in harmful habits out of a need for instant gratification, maybe reckless spending, speed driving, partying everyday or simply not saving up resources and caring about the future. Your shadow self is someone who hates boredom, who craves excitement and cannot fully deal with long-term commitment in its many forms. It wants novelty, adventure and it comes at the cost of your responsibilities, your routine and your friendships even.

This shadow self hates suffering (fair enough, who doesn't?!) and will to go great lengths to avoid it... but ironically, it causes you more pain in the long run by avoiding the unavoidable. By never crying, never addressing your issues or your difficult moments, you end up running right back into yourself and these same issues return.

This side of you doesn't want to grow up - you don't want to fall into the trap of routine and a boring, 9-5 job. But excessive habits are difficult to maintain, no matter how good it feels in the short term. There's a difficult, troubled perception of adulthood and life itself. A need for constant adventure and chaos, a feeling of entrapment whenever you are with anyone who loves you, because you fear being controlled, tamed and used.

how can you work with your shadow self? the tower • nine of wands • nine of cups • three of pentacles

To put it simply, let yourself hurt. Let the foundations of your heart crumble, stop to feel just for a second. You don't have to be on the run all the time. What are you running from, pile three? Disaster, pain and hurt are often inevitable, but they do not have to be the be-all, end-all of our lives. The Tower is a reminder that all that crumbles was meant to crumble eventually, and there is beauty in letting things end naturally, allowing the flow of life to do its thing.

That means aging, growing, learning from the seasons. I think you have a very, very deep heart and mind you're scared to tap into. You're scared to be trapped in the endless hustle, to never feel alive or good once you "settle". But who says the big joys are the only ones that matter? As someone said once, big joys and small joys are often the same. Sometimes, waking up in itself can be an adventure. Don't overlook or underestimate the ways life tries to find you, to cling to you - remember to embark on the hard journeys, knowing you'll have gotten something valuable in the end.

You're brave and rebellious. You can be a catalyst for change in so many ways. Who said adulthood has to be boring? Who said you have to work a 9-5? Do you have to get married? Maybe being a stay-at-home parent isn't for you. That's okay.

Challenging the status quo may not be easy, but you have a natural inclination for it. Your shadow self can dive deeper. It's one of your greatest tools. Your need for joy and fun is not shameful - you can use it for healing, instead of self-destruction.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

who is your shadow self? judgment rx • justice • the high priestess rx • knight of swords

Your shadow self is the side of you that refuses to acknowledge your needs, your wants and desires. It makes you live inside of a bubble, scared of the truth, even if it will set you free. I had the hardest time shuffling for this pile, I kept trying and trying but nothing made sense. I think this is how your shadow side manifests as well, in the lack of clarity, the fogginess that permeates the choices you've regretted.

It's both reckless and frozen, completely lost in a maze, confused, looking for a path, for directions, for anything. It's almost as if you lost your compass, nothing eventually guides you and you remain looking for the directions only you have.

It's too scared to admit what it wants, who you are. Both out of fear of what other people will say, but also out of fear that it'll all go wrong. It's the side of you that remains disconnected from yourself, hidden because it keeps highlighting the aspects you keep trying to ignore, to not know. It can manifest in a lot of ways, either through people-pleasing or being completely reckless. Through lying, denial or even isolation from the world, from life itself.

Something funny is that a song by Bad Suns that just started playing really relates to this pile. "Cinderella slips into a dream like a curse / you could mistake it for heaven at first." This shadow self may live in projection, daydreaming or simply keep you out of touch with everything.

how can you work with your shadow self? six of pentacles • page of wands • two of wands • king of cups

Engagement and socializing are big ways you can work with your shadow self. Being actively curious about the world, about people. Approaching relationships, truths and life itself with genuine interest, no judgement or shaming thoughts involved.

Telling yourself you're an eternal student of this world, because we are and remembering you don't have to know everything. Start scared. Most things, you'll have to do it scared. Unprepared. In the thick of it all, you'll find the answers you need, but only if you are willing to dive deep for them. No taking shortcuts, making assumptions or allowing self-doubt to paralyze your living, because you need to witness life as it is.

Therapy is one big thing, music as well. Anything that connects you to your deepest self, relationships that genuinely make room for who you are, good friends that feel safe and non-judgemental. Your heart has been calling you for so long, pile four. It's about time you listen to it. It knows everything you need to know.

disclaimer. tarot not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. please remember you are responsible for life and in power of it, no one else! ♡

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

#pick a card #tarotblr #tarot reading #pick a card reading #tarot #pac reading #astrology #witchblr #tarot witch #pagan #mine.

[alexlwrites]

𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐬

✿𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: OT7 x Plus Size! Reader

✿ 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: "What was so outrageous about someone like you, you asked yourself and the universe. You had tried your best to compensate for any shortcomings with everything else that was expected of you: femininity, understanding, a sense of humor. Never enough, those were never even the first thing that came to mind when people thought of you.

Why bother then? If nothing you did made any difference at all, why try? If people hated your body just for existing, why not give them a reason to hate your personality as well?"

OR  

The one where seven campus princes who are used to getting everything they wanted get enchanted by your distrust and brattiness, climbing over each other to get a smile from you who could not be bothered to give them a single second of your day.

✿ 𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒔:  Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst, College AU

✿ 𝑨/𝑵: I wanna leave this here as sort of a trigger warning: this work features a plus size main character and throughout the story there will be mean comments from characters about her body and her journey dealing with said comments. A lot of it comes from my own experience as a plus size girl myself and my path to living peacefully within my body. And although this work is about Y/N's relationship with the boys, I like to think that she still would've continued to grow and blossom happily on her own. Let this be something you learn from this fic, as I say right on the first chapter: You don't have to love the way you look right away, you just can't let it stop you from doing the things you want and, in a greater scale, from being happy and treated with respect.

Thank you for reading <3

P.S: Red daisies, like many red flowers, represent love and romance. Florists often use them to communicate affection to someone who doesn’t know how beautiful they are—a.k.a. beauty unknown to the possessor. 

(Fanfic masterlist)

(support me on my ko-fi)

°•. ✿ .•°

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

The pattern in your relationships - if you could call them that - was tiring, to say the least. Once, they might have been soul crushing, but time and repetition took away the novelty of your pain and now the endgame was a mild, resented disappointment.

It started with kindness and a gentle smile, mainly from your part. You treated anyone who gave you any smidgen of attention with the utmost sweetness, hoping your energy would be matched. And sometimes it was, for a while. Sometimes you got to be on the receiving end of a blinding smile or a casual touch and you allowed yourself to hope - no, pray -that that could be it. That someone, some modern day knight in shiny armor , saw through your looks and decided that you were deserving of love, despite societal norms,

But men had a way of setting you up for disappointment. A talent, truly.

You were tired, you decided that night. No, beyond that, you were exhausted, scarred, bitter, hopeless, resentful… You could keep going. You could list every bad feeling you had been carrying in your chest by alphabetical order or by how badly they hurt and honestly you just wanted it to stop.

Would you have to change everything about your body to be happy, you wondered watching the boy you had been seeing for a few weeks make fun of you in front of his circle of friends at the party you were both at. Would you never be allowed to be happy just the way you were?

Would you have to change everything about your body to be happy?

“Yeah, she’s nice” Junsuu said, winking suggestively at his giggling friends “if you know what I mean.” you felt your face heat up in humiliation at the renewed round of laughter “But we just don’t match, like, physically. You know, looks-wise.”

“Right” someone agreed way too enthusiastically, sending a spear through your heart “I really just can’t see you with someone like her.”

What was so outrageous about someone like you, you asked yourself and the universe. You had tried your best to compensate for any shortcomings with everything else that was expected of you: femininity, understanding, a sense of humor. Never enough, those were never even the first thing that came to mind when people thought of you.

Why bother then? If nothing you did made any difference at all, why try? If people hated your body just for existing, why not give them a reason to hate your personality as well?

“You’re right” you said out loud, drawing attention to yourself. Filled with hatred (for him, the world, the circumstances), your heart had no room to be mortified when all eyes turned to you “we don’t match.”

You watched as Junsuu’s eyes widened, clearly not expecting you to hear, much less reply “I am a big girl” you continued, words dripping with rage “And I know for a fact that there’s nothing big about you.”

You turned around to leave the room, cringing at the petty comeback, ignoring the murmurs and Junsuu’s panicked calls of your name. Walking fast, you fled the scene of the last heartbreak you would allow yourself to go through, deciding that a change was needed, but not the change everyone wanted from  you.

Despite the rumors, you didn’t turn into a huge bitch overnight, didn’t start kicking puppies or spitting on the poor. Truly, the only thing you did was establish boundaries and reevaluate the amount of respect some people deserved, but very quickly people started seeing you as some sort of villain, especially when they realized how little you cared for how they saw you. How disrespectful of you to not allow yourself to be disrespected, right?

At first, there was still an air of uncertainty about you - years and years of non-reciprocal niceties drilled into your brain, habits hard to quit. But the more you let go of those things, these tiny acts of self-aggression disguised as pleasantries and altruism, the lighter you felt; Your days became easier to get through, existing within your body felt less and less like a punishment. You had yet to reach an Instagram-worthy level of body positivity, but you had become accustomed to body neutrality. You didn’t have to love the way you looked right away, you just couldn’t let it stop you from doing the things you wanted and, in a greater scale, from being happy and treated with respect.

And respect you started to demand and much happier you became, living in relative peace and solitude - safe by a few close friends - up until your days started being pestered by seven headaches you could not seem to shake away.

—-

Jungkook was the one that saw you first.

It was 3 weeks into the semester and he finally decided it was the perfect time to start going to classes, sitting in the back and only listening to about 25% of what was being said, mind floating towards more important subjects such as the package of ramen waiting for him at home. Only mildly interested in what the professor had to teach, he couldn’t help but to be startled when everyone started getting up from their seats to shuffle around the room. “What’s going on?” he asked the guy sitting next to him.

“Professor gave us a duo assignment.” the other man said, standing up “You're with Y/N.”

“Who?”

The guy just pointed towards you with his chin, redirecting Jungkook’s attention before leaving. You were sitting a couple rows further down, hunched over your little green IPad as you wrote something with impressive velocity. Jungkook walked over to you, already mentally going over what he would have to do to charm you into doing everything on your own “Y/N?” he called and you raised your head.

You were pretty, he noticed with satisfaction, all bright eyes and lovely features, curves everywhere he looked “Yes?”

“I’m Jungkook.” he extended his hand with a casual smirk “The professor put us together for this project.”

There had been a small, but pleasant and polite smile on your face up until he said those words, replaced by pursed lips and an arched brow. “Yes, I know. We’ve had classes together for over a year now and been partnered together before.”

Uh oh. “Right” he coughed awkwardly, fumbling under your hardened stare “so, about this project…”

“We will meet once a week,” you said, straightforward as you turned your eyes back to your sticker-filled IPad “I will go over the theme and split the work evenly, so give me your number and I can text you with what you’re supposed to do.”

“Woah, woah, asking for my number already?” he said in a flirting manner, sitting on top of your table so he could be directly in front of you.

“Would you prefer it if I emailed it to you?” you asked without looking up.

“Actually, I was thinking you could help me out a bit,” he placed his finger under your chin, raising your face towards him “you know I have soccer practice and…”

You pushed his hand away “Unless you’re playing at the World Cup, I can’t see how that would be more important than your studies, so you either do your part of the assignment or get an F in it, I don’t care. I won’t do all the work for you, Jeon. Not again.”

Again? Jungkook winced, trying to remember when you had met before. Surely he would remember getting his head bitten off by a snappy, pretty thing like you, wouldn’t he? Surely your attitude would stand out to him amongst all the sweetness and compliance he received just for existing and smiling.

“Here’s my number.” you gave him a piece of paper with your digits written in gel sparkly ink “Text me when you decide if you want to pass this class. Good day.” 

You looked down again, going back to your notes, signing that the conversation was over before he even had the chance to add anything more. He jumped off the desk and stepped away, looking back to see if you were looking at him, but there wasn’t a single glance from your part.

Shit. Shit. He actually did have to pass this class, otherwise his overbearing soccer coach would kick him off the team. He stared down at your number, wondering what he would have to do to get you to cut him a little slack and forgive him for absolutely forgetting about your existence. 

—

“Hey, this is Jungkook” the text from an unknown number said “looking forward to us working together. We should get dinner sometime, get to know each other better.”

You read over the text once more, willing your heart to slow down its beating. Sure, Jungkook was charming and handsome, but you had seen this dance before. He would talk his way into your good graces, making you laugh and giggle until you had a four thousand word essay done with both your names in it and your texts to him would go unanswered and unseen. 

This was not your first hurtful rodeo. You put your phone away, facing down, ignoring as the poor device vibrated itself off the table with the upcoming texts.

Meanwhile, across campus, Jungkook was fuming.

“Or breakfast. We should get breakfast. I know a great place.” he tried once again, but his message was left unread. Still, he persisted.

“I have a lot of great ideas for this assignment. Don’t you want to know them?” he texted, even though he didn’t have the faintest idea on what the assignment was even about.

“You know, it’s rude to leave a guy hanging.”

“How can we do this if you won’t even text me back?”

“I thought we were in this together.”

“You know, like High School Musical.”

He kept typing out absurdity after absurdity, hoping you would dignify one with an answer. He just needed one opportunity, one opening…

His text stopped going through.

“She blocked me!” he gasped out loud.

“Who?” his roommate, Taehyung asked from where he laid on their couch, feet up on the coffee table.

“This girl in my class. We have this project together and she blocked me!”

Taehyung sent a disbelieving look his way “Were you actually planning to do the work?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Obviously not.”

His friend rolled his eyes “Obviously not. So what’s your plan here?”

Jungkook didn’t answer, too busy looking for alternative ways to contact you. After a few minutes of research, he found your Instagram. You were cute, he noticed again, scrolling through your few posts, all relatively recent. You had a very specific style, a tasteful mix or dark and edgy with splashes of pink and bows, tight corsets under leather jackets that he couldn’t help but stare appreciatively, the flattering material clinging to your waist line and pushing your breasts up, exposing the soft freckled top of cleavage to his always hungry eyes. In your pictures, your eyes shone brightly, crinkling at the sides from your ever present smile and he could not understand why you hadn’t directed one of those to him. 

It was unsettling, to say the least, but he could not allow his annoyance to take over. He needed your help if he wanted to pass that class and if he had to use unconventional ways to get your attention, he would. 

And so, much like a little boy pulling at a girl’s braids, he started liking and spamming the comments of every single post you had.

—

There were whispers all around you, your worst nightmare.

You were at the school library, getting work done while drinking from your fourth cup of coffee, hands shaking due to caffeine and anxiety, your ever present friends. You tried to focus on your books and carefully written notes, but every word you could barely hear and every look you felt over your shoulder seemed to dig claws into your skin. You knew what they were saying. You heard it all the way from your dorm to your classes and couldn’t seem to escape them. 

“Did you see Jungkook’s comments on her pictures? What’s that about?”

“It’s not like there’s a lot to comment, is there?” 

“Maybe he thought it was someone else?”

“It’s probably a prank.”

“I bet he was hacked.”

Of course, why else would someone like Jungkook - a campus prince, popular soccer player, heartthrob - show interest in you? 

It hurt, but a small part of you still agreed with those mean spirited whispers. You closed your eyes, trying to even your breathing and will those thoughts away. You knew better, had learned better than to measure your value by how interested some boy was in you.

When you opened your eyes again, Jungkook was in front of you.

You barely had time to process his presence when the voices picked up volume, your skin prickling and eyes aching to remain dry. 

“What’s Jungkook doing with Fat Y/N?”

That word shouldn’t be as hurtful as it was - after all, it was just an adjective, just the current state of your body that served only to carry your thinking mind, your feeling heart. But people always said it like a curse, wielding it like a sword.

You closed your eyes again and when you opened once more, Jungkook was still there. Looking furious.

“What are they saying?”

“What they always said” you shrugged, avoiding his eyes by looking down at your papers.

Jungkook didn’t move for a while, hearing people pretend to whisper around you but it was clear that the motherfuckers wanted you to hear. Was it always like this for you, he wondered, watching as you focused on whatever book you had in front of you, hunched over with tense shoulders, your face a far cry from the luminescent one he saw on your Instagram, not a hint of that smile he wanted directed at him so unreasonably.

He couldn’t just stand there and watch you struggle to keep your posture. 

You felt him standing up and leaving more than you saw him. Good, you thought. He should leave, like everyone did, scared away by that one word that followed you around like a brand. He was probably embarrassed to be seen with you, you assumed bitterly, and there was no place in your life for people who didn’t want you proudly by your side…

Jungkook sat back in the chair in front of you and you couldn’t help but gape at the impressive bouquet of red daisies he extended towards you.

“Take it” he said, but you couldn’t move, could barely hear the furious voices around you over the roaring beat of your heart.

You… You had never gotten flowers. 

“Take it” he repeated “I almost got run over because of this, the least you can do is accept it.”

“Jungkook” you whispered, dumbfoundedly accepting the bouquet “what’s this?”

“People keep doubting I could be interested in you” he said and there was an edge to his tone you did not expect “maybe this could help clear up some rumors.”

“This is not your battle to fight” you held the flowers close to your chest carefully, looking up at him with distrust, unable to understand his motives “I’m used to this sort of thing and I don’t care about those stupid rumors.”

You were used to it? That just made Jungkook angrier. How could you be used to that sort of treatment? 

Jungkook was a lot of things - spoiled, a little lazy, sometimes a dick. But he wasn’t a bigot and he wasn’t about to stand around and let you become used to being disrespected if there was something - anything! - he could do about it “I like picking up fights”.

“Is this just pity?” you asked and he could see walls around you that stood thousands of feet tall “Is this because of that stupid assignment? Because I’m not going to do all the work just because you got me some flowers…” 

He raised his hands and smiled at you “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll do my work” he said, a new goal in mind as he saw you recoil from him with eyes filled with wariness like a suspicious kitten “You said once a week, right? How’s friday for you?” 

You still clung to your bouquet like a lifeline “That works, I guess.”

“Great!” he clapped loudly, standing up and catching the eye of those around him “I’ll see you around, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart” you mumbled, but he pretended not to hear as he crossed the table around to your side, quickly leaving a kiss to your heated cheek before you had the chance to react.

“Alright, sweetheart, I’ll see you around” he said, making sure everyone in the library could hear him “do me a favor and unblock me, ok?”

You flipped him off, both for stealing a kiss and that stupid nickname, but he just laughed it off.

“That’s my girl” he said and the library erupted in renewed whispers.

°•. ✿ .•°

𝐌𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝

°•. ✿ .•°

[Red Daisies taglist: @purplelady85 ]

[Permanent taglist: @imknewattis ; @dreamamubarak ; @onlythebest-106 ; @betysotelo18 ; @havetaeminforbreakfast ; @uno7 ; @chimchimmarie ; @anaya123world ; @junecat18 ; @kayleefriedchicken ; @jkselcouth ; @ivrose21 ; @svnbangtansworld ]

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts #jungkook x reader #alexl red daisies #ot7 x reader #ot7 x you #bts x y/n #kim taehyung x reader #park jimin x reader #kim namjoon x reader #jung hoseok x reader #min yoongi x reader #kim seokjin x reader #ot7 fluff #bts romance #bts college au

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

My heart is yours

a/n I know this ain't TLOU gif but I had to. Look how this man could hold you. Anyways... happy reading. This just came out of nowhere.

summary: Jackson doesn't seem to kill the fears in Joel's mind, only awaking new kind of doubts. Can you actually be in love with him or is it a hopeless dream that Joel is chasing?

Requested and inspired by my little lilly 🪷

warning: past injuries, hand trauma.

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Joel didn't care for any of it. He didn't care about a safe space to live in. He didn't care about what or where he slept. What he ate and if he ate in general. Pills and alcohol were all he needed at night. Even after twenty years, life hadn't been the same. And by that point, Joel simply didn't care. He lived in black and white. There was no in-between. He no longer believed in happiness. No longer strived to make a change. He was simply surviving.

Yet Joel's imagination would paint pictures of a somewhat different world. A handful of pills later, the blanket that laid over his shoulders would turn into a lover's embrace. Where the pillow felt like the soft flesh of the significant other. Joel was thankful when he had no recollections of the night like that. Where there was blank darkness and no evidence that he had been nothing but lonely. Longing. Somewhere deep down, longing to make a change. Most importantly, longing to be loved. Longing for someone to see him. To dust off the pain and make him feel something different.

Then Ellie came along, and you were right beside her. At first, Joel didn't even understand why Marlene wanted him on this job when you were with Ellie. Wild animals were less frenzied than you. Surely getting Ellie to the fireflies was like a walk in the park for you. That was until Joel noticed your trembling hands. The way you rubbed your palms together. How you only stick to knives for self-defense.

You had opened up about your past one night as you both sat under the starry sky, with Ellie fast asleep not far away from you. The cold temperature was extremely brutal for your hands. The ache seemed never-ending. "Do you want these?", Joel broke the silence, taking off his much thicker gloves before handing them to you. You just started at him. Of course, you had talked before. You've been on the road with him for some time now. But it always seemed cold and bitter. If there was one thing Joel was extremely good at, it was making people feel like they were the problem.

You shook your hand, inching towards the fire, moving your palms closer to the flame. Joel gazed at you, letting out a sigh. It was odd considering the type of your communication but he could feel the strange feeling bubbling inside him. The feeling would perk up if he would woke up to you by his side or if your head would fall onto his shoulder as you dozed off while keeping watch. Even when you laughed alongside Ellie, Joel couldn't help that strange sensation in his stomach.

"I would prefer if you took them. I'm not cold anyway", Joel spoke up again. "And I'm not a cripple", "I never said that", you turned to him quickly. Even in the dim light, Joel could see the tears that glossed over your eyes. "Your eyes say enough", you bit back, turning your attention to the flame in front of you. Joel wasn't sure why he was even doing this, but he moved forward, resting his hands on your shoulder. It had been weird between you two. You had kissed a couple of times. And if the first kiss was the aftermath of too much adrenaline after a near-death experience. The second time had no justification. "What happened", Joel said softly, rubbing your shoulders ever so slightly. He had once selfishly examined your hands while you slept. Joel knew that was an invasion of privacy, but his eyes caught onto the scars and his fingers moved without a second thought.

You let out a bitter laugh. "I was a bad girl. I got involved with bad people, and well, bad people do bad things", Joel had seen. Had inspected the scars and permanent discoloration that covered your hands. He wondered what had happened. Wondered who were the people that had done this. Most importantly, he wondered how good it would feel to make them slowly suffer for all that was done to you.

Joel had never done this when you two were fully awake, never fully aware. He pulled you closer to him. Your hands instantly clasped over his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Silent tears fall down your cheeks. Oddly enough, Joel had been a safe space for you. Someone you knew would go that extra mile to make sure that you were safe. "You have nothing to fear now. I've got you. You can count on me, sweet", Joel said, making you let out a silent sob as you held onto him tighter. "What if I fail to protect you though…", you whispered. Joel quickly turned you around in his arms so he could face you. "Didn't seem like a problem when you stabbed that guy in the throat", Joel said, referencing the attack in the store, but you just narrowed your eyes at him. "We have each other, and now that Ellie has a gun, believe me, we are good", you let out a light chuckle while leaning your head against Joel's chest. That was the night you saw a future in him. Leaving you to hope that Joel felt the same way.

Ellie was bubbling through all the stories of today. In all honesty, she was supposed to do her homework while you fished off with dinner, but you didn't have the heart to stop her. Seeing her so full of life was refreshing. You three haven't been in Jackson very long. A month at best, and it still seemed like a dream. Tommy had very kindly landed you a small cottage at the side of the town. They even arranged a little celebration to welcome you, Ellie, and Joel in. Joel of course snarled through most of it.

Holding onto your hips as he zoned in and out. Partly listening to the conversations you were having with people that were around him and partly just trying to ground himself. He hated places like this. There was too much buzz. Joel wasn't used to it. Not to mention the attention that was put on you three. That was way too exhausting. You would occasionally turn to him. Running your fingers through Joel's hair or simply resting your hands on top of his hands that were lazily curled over your middle.

A protective gesture. You called it Joel's circle. He did this often. Even if you two were in the comfort of your new home. His arms would wrap around your middle. The only moving space you had was within Joel's embrace. You knew it was still so hard for him to feel safe. To not fear that something was going to happen. Joel loved running over the worst scenarios. Your broody, grumpy grape. You shifted in his embrace. Your eyes searched his tired ones. "Should we make a grand outing? So that everyone would think that we are going to fuck our night away?", you said casually, making Joel let out a laugh. His bold ray of sunshine. God, that smart mouth of yours drove Joel insane. "Depends on how loud you are willing to moan", you let out a gasp, shoving him slightly, as you got lost in Joel's smile. A rare sight for sore eyes.

Everyone was quick to label you as Joel's girl. It was in a way strange at first because no matter where you went, you were met with the same greeting, but then again, you couldn't blame them. Joel watched you like a hawk. Eyes rarely left you if you were in his sight. Always looking. Always watching. Even here, he was a man who was feared. Well, besides the fact that most females were ready to hook their arms around his neck. You wondered if he ever noticed how they drooled over him. You were hoping that he didn't because if Joel chose any of them over you… Not that you had a say, but your heart would be shattered.

"And then I said that I was done with the project", Ellie continued to chirp, "But I gave you guys credit, don't worry", you let out a laugh at her words. You three had lots of fun building that paper rocket ship. Ellie came home with an assignment to build her dream. Seeing the space was one of them. So you three sat on the living room floor for hours. Small talk lingers. The plate with cookies was nearly empty. "Did you give credit to Joel's back?", you turned to Ellie, and the smirk on her face was outrageous considering that she was still a child. "Got a special mention on the title page", Ellie said sheepishly, and you two fell into fits of laughter just as Joel stepped into the kitchen.

"What are we laughing about?", Joel moved straight to you, planting a gentle kiss on the side of your head. His usual way of greeting you. You closed your eyes at the sensation, savoring the feeling of his lips against your skin. "Honestly?", Ellie asked, and Joel nodded. "How I wrote a special appreciation poem for your back because you helped with the ship", Joel rolled his eyes at that. Ellie took great joy in making fun of his age. But Joel never really cared about it. As long as she was happy, so was he.

Joel noticed the jar in your hands and how your palms flexed as you tried to open it. Without a single word, Joel placed his hands over yours. Pressing ever so slightly as he turned the lid off. You bit your lip. That was another thing that Joel did. If it wasn't necessary, he never took the things you were trying to open away from your hands. He just offered additional strength with his hands. It was his way of making sure that you didn't feel worthless. Joel would notice your struggles; he always did. But he had learned to read your body language and to know when you needed his aid and when it was best to leave you to it alone.

You turned to face him, meeting his eyes with a silent thank you that he answered with yet another kiss to your temple. "Okay, you two are doing that cute shit again", Ellie's voice made you both turn her way. "Don't you look at me like that? Will I have to drag you two to the altar or are you going to do something about it yourself?", she blurted out, making your eyes grow big. "You get back to your homework, miss, 'cause if it's not done before dinner, you're not eating", Joel pointed a warning finger the girl's way, which she graciously met by sticking out her tongue.

A light blush crept up on your cheeks. Alter seemed way out of reach. Well, for now at least. You weren't even sure if you two were together. You assumed you were, but… You had never talked. It was a silent promise. As if you claimed one another without words. Leaving it to the actions. Joel held on to you like you were his lifeline most nights. Face buried in the crook of your neck. Arms pulling you as close to his chest as possible. If nightmares clouded his mind, you would pull him closer to yourself. Gently guiding him to lay down practically on top of you as you brushed your fingers through his salt-and-pepper. hair You loved them. It was almost embarrassing that sometimes you just twirled Joel's curls between your fingers with such admiration. You knew he never found himself beautiful, but in your eyes, he was the most handsome male you had ever laid your eyes on.

"Will you grab the plate, I…", you didn't even have to finish the sentence. Joel was already moving through the kitchen. "How was patrol?", "Nothing new, although the weather is getting better", you hummed at Joel's words. The sun was shining for most of the day today, and you could tell that everyone was in a much more cheerful mood. "How was the meeting with Becky?", Becky was a woman in her eighties. She had worked many years in the medical field, especially with post-trauma treatments. You visited her every other day, and she guided you through different exercises to rebuild the strength of your hands. "It was okay, but as you can see, I can barely hold the spoon," you said as you lifted your trembling head up for Joel to see, but he didn't find much amusement in that. He feared that you pushed yourself too much with this. Stepping closer, Joel took both of your hands into him before pressing them to his lips. "Please wash your hands before you pour my bowl; I don't want Joel's saliva in it", Ellie sassed from the other side of the room. "Ellie", you said with a chuckle, and Joel threw a towel her way, making you both fall into fits of laughter.

Jackson felt like a dream. Like a lucky coin. A four-petal clover. You name it. Yet Joel still couldn't settle his mind. Now more than ever, it felt so clustered. He watched you and Ellie laughing over dinner. The table he also sat at, but did he deserve to be here? Or were you two better on your own? Joel wasn't blind; he saw how people practically melted when you walked through the streets offering everyone a smile. You brought life to an already lively town. Contributing to help anywhere and everywhere. Seeing you shift from this constantly scared girl to a lovely young woman was a huge gift to Joel.

He wanted you to live. To experience happiness and joy. He wanted you to be carefree. To dance your nights away. To be twirled around the dance floor by different males and females. You deserve to live. Something Joel probably couldn't afford to be a part of. Moments when he saw younger males looking your way, talking amongst themselves as they looked you up and down made him both unimaginably angry and jealous. First of all, you weren't an object to be gawked at. You deserved a respectful partner. And second of all, Joel knew if he had met you earlier, when he was full of life, it would have been so different. He would have given you everything. He would be the one twirling you around the dance floor. He would have taken you on dates by the river. Played you different songs on his guitar. Now that side of him was dead. Buried by all the pain. Buried beside Sarah.

"Joel…", after feeling your hand on his, Joel quickly turned your way. Your brows were crushed down. "You haven't touched your food, hun", you said softly. Joel's eyes drifted to the plate in front of him. The tightness in his throat and chest increased. As the thoughts of being only a burden swirled through his brain. Why were you here? Were you simply scared? Scared to explore something more because he was here? Would Ellie be happier if you settled for someone younger? It sure would make a more normal-looking family. Joel quickly stood up, nearly knocking the chair over as he rose. "I'm not hungry; I'm going for a walk", he said coldly as he stepped out of the kitchen. You called his name a couple of times. Joel braced himself against the fence. Hand on the chest as he tried to take in at least a single gulp of air.

You waited for Joel to return almost all night, but he didn't show up. You had wondered if you should go and try to find him, but deep down you knew that your wandering down the street in the night would only add to whatever that was going on with him. You've got Ellie ready for school. Making extra scrambled eggs and scribbling a little note for Joel. You're not alone. You can count on me, it said. A tiny heart by the end of it. Now you could only hope that it wasn't something you had done.

You pupped to help out another elderly lady while you waited for Ellie to be done with her classes. She made the most delicious meat pies and pastries. The delicious smell followed you around the bakery all day. You did as much as your hand allowed you, for the rest compensating with your smile. Already thinking about how you were going to surprise Joel with a pie that you had made yourself. He was a sweet guy deep down. And it had been way too long since you all had a proper pie.

You slipped inside the school just as the last class was finishing. The sight of Ellie nearly leaning out of her chair as she followed every word that the teacher was saying was endearing. She needed this. Needed other kids. Needed to learn. Needed to feel normal. "Y/N, right?", you quickly turned to the side. "Sorry, didn't mean to make you jump", the guy, who wasn't that much older than you, said, rubbing the back of his neck. You've seen him around, but if you were being honest, you had no clue who he was. As if sensing this, the guy quickly said, "Ben, one of Ellie's teachers. We've met at the bar". You smiled at him, "Right, yes, sorry. A lot of new faces still". Your eyes drifted back to Ellie. For some reason, you felt uneasy in his presence.

"So am… You… I'm making such a fool of myself", Ben rambled on, quickly popping into what you assumed was a teacher's room. For a split second, you wondered if you should just walk away, but Ben walked out with a big bouquet of flowers you didn't even know the name of. You raised your eyebrows in surprise. "I was hoping that you would pop in today. Got you those", you knew that you needed to say something but you felt lost for words. No one had ever gotten you flowers and… Ben carefully placed the bouquet in your hands. "You just caught my eye, and I've been wanting to ask you out. I know this is super straightforward", you shook your head, "I… they are beautiful, thank you, but… I." A part of you was screaming that this was wrong. You wanted to tell him that you were with Joel. But were you with Joel? Your head felt like it was spinning, but you just didn't feel it. It didn't feel the same. Didn't feel like it did with Joel.

"Look… I'm sure you are a really sweet guy, but I'm in a… Well, I like someone else, and I just", your voice sounded so small. You hated that you weren't confident. Ben gave an awkward nod, "Right, the big guy. I should have guessed", "I'm sorry; I'm sure there's a sweet girl out there for you. Thank you for… well, for the flowers though. Unless you want to keep them". You pushed the bouquet towards him, but he only shook his head and said, "Keep them, and I hope we can still get to know each other. Like friends, of course", you smiled at him right as the door opened and kids spilled out of the classroom.

"So, wait, he just did like… Did he kiss you?", Ellie hadn't stopped talking ever since you left the building. To her, this was the most hilarious thing ever, while you still tried to process it all. "Of course not. I would have never let him do that", you said. "Do you reckon he fantasizes about you?", you glared at her quickly. Ellie only lifted her hands in defiance.

"A pie and flowers. Are we celebrating something?", you didn't even realize that you were standing in front of the cottage with Joel leaning against the open door. You opened your mouth, but Ellie beat you to it: "Ben got Y/N flowers; bet he is like in love with her", she said as she wiggled her eyebrows at Joel. You knew this was innocent. You knew she didn't understand what was going on between you two. So you couldn't blame her, but you wished she hadn't said it like that. Joel's jaw clenched. Anger washed over him. He turned away from you moving to the back patio.

Joel knew who Ben was. Most importantly, Joel saw the way Ben looked at you. That guy was a good bit younger than him. Broad shoulders, piercing eyes. Desire burned inside him. Ben wanted you and Joel could see it. Did you want him as well? "Joel, wait, Joel,", he heard your pleading voice as he rushed down the little stairs, moving to the backside garden. "Go back to your boyfriend", Joel snarled through gritted teeth. "Ben is just Ellie's teacher. I didn't even…", Joel turned to you quickly, "Who gives you flowers", "Well, maybe he's just being sweet", you knew that you both knew that that was bullshit. And honestly, now you wondered if downplaying it would only make it worse.

"Maybe he just likes you", Joel spat back, frustration dripping off him. "Do you seriously don't see it? That fuck had a big old crush on you ever since you came here". Those words, however, did take you by surprise because you didn't see it. You never acknowledged Ben's presence. You didn't care what Ben was doing. You never looked for it. "Well, I didn't see it, no", Joel gave you a look that clearly showed you that he didn't believe you. "Oh, come on. I've never had a man show me attention before you; how am I supposed to know?", you asked, raising your hand in frustration. Growling as Joel turned and started to walk again. "Joel, stop fucking walking or I'll throw the fucking flowers at you!", you shouted as your frustration laced through you. Joel stopped in his tracks.

"Do you seriously feel like he's my type?", you approached the man in front of you slowly, dropping the flowers to the side as you walked. "Joel", "I don't know", he muttered under his breath. He wasn't good at this thing. He wasn't good with his emotions. But the fear of losing you crippled him. "Well, my type is anything but that. I like my man mature like wine or cheese", you said, moving to cup Joel's cheeks. "Come on, turn the frown upside down", you encouraged him slowly, but Joel only shifted his eyes to you. Piercing through your soul.

"Listen to me, you stubborn hulk. This", you took a hold of his hand, pulling it up and pressing it over your heart, "Beats for you. I picked you a long time ago. And if you think some thirty-something dickhead can come in and swoop me away", you shook your head. "Yeah, have more faith in yourself, especially when all of Jackson's females have an orgasm when you walk by", you sassed. "No, they don't", Joel argued, but you only crooked your head to the side, raising an eyebrow.

"Did you mean it?", Joel asked, arms now sneaking to hold onto your hips, "That my heart is yours? With my whole life", you smiled up at him. Joel leaned in. A breath hitched in your throat as he erased the last bit of distance between you two and your lips met his. You felt like you had blacked out for a moment as all the fireworks started to explode from within you. You held on to Joel for dear life as he pressed you closer to his body. His other hand cupped your cheek. It was desperate. Needy. Long overdue, and you couldn't suppress the giggle that fell from your lips as you two finally parted. Hiding your face in Joel's chest.

You could feel how fast his own heart was beating. Smiling to yourself that it was you who had such an effect on him, "I love you", he whispered. Barely audible but more than enough for you to step on your tiptoes and kiss him again. "I'm in a daring mood to let the whole of Jackson know that I am yours", you mumbled after a while in Joel's embrace. "Pick your words carefully, baby girl,", Joel warned, but you only smirked back at him. Before pulling the devilish smile, "Want to fuck me against the electricity pole?", Joel let out a surprised laugh before shaking his head at you. Scooping you up in his arms quickly, making you let out a scream followed by fits of giggles as he carried you back into the cottage.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller x you #the last of us imagine #the last of us x reader #pedro pascal x reader

[waggledoogledoggle]

⚠️Spoilers for Hazbin ep 4⚠️

⚠️Also, this post will talk about Abuse and SA, it is briefly mentioned a few times throughout the rest of this… whole long thingy I wrote⚠️

⚠️Also, brief mention of the scene where someone tried to drug Angel⚠️

Ok, I am just genuinely baffled at the people who somehow find a way to hate on 'Loser, Baby'.

Like, if you don't like Huskerdust that's fine... but 'Loser, Baby' is not overshadowing/brushing off Angel's SA. It's not victim blaming. And it's not Husk telling Angel to just shut up and get over it.

Like I've seen it so much, and you know what? Fuck it. Welcome to my TedTalk on why it's not all of those things.

For starters: Husk doesn't know about Angel's SA

When Angel has his vulnerable outburst (Side note, props to Blake I mean, they said 'take 5' he heard 'change lives') he talks about how he feels like he has to act the way he does to keep Valentino happy because he stupidly sold his soul to him. That he wants to get drugged up because that’s his escape. That he wants to be broken because maybe, just maybe Val will let him go. He wants to be free, but he can't and he has no one to blame but himself.

"What's the worst part of this hell, I can only blame myself" is literally the pre chorus to his song (Poison), and that is what he shares with Husk.

Not once does he bring up his abuse or SA. If he did, do you think a song would have even happened? Look how Husk reacted when someone tried to drug Angel's drink! Now that Husk actually genuinely cares about him? Dead. Dead. Valentino would be dead.

We as the audience know more than the other characters. We were given the insight of Angel's true trauma.l that he deals with on the daily. You can't get upset at a character for not knowing something they would have no way of knowing unless it was shared with them.

Moving onto the song itself, it's a song of empathy.

Allow me to explain.

Husk pinpoints perfectly what Angel is feeling in this moment:

"So things look bad, and your back's against the wall Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall Can't face the world sober and dopeless You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked"

When Husk starts singing, you can tell that Angel is expecting Husk to pull the whole "But that's not true! It's not hopeless! You're life's not wrecked!" and is very surprised when Husk doesn't.

Instead, Husks says "Yeah. You're right." And this is when a lot of the haters get angry- but hold on a second.

When someone is feeling all of those things, saying things like "That's not true! You'll be ok!" aren't helpful at all. That's brushing it off. Even if it may be true, that doesn't help anyone when they're feeling like hopeless, lost, losers.

Because that's sympathy, not empathy. Sympathy is feeling for someone, and trying to make them feel better. Empathy, is not trying to make them feel any certain way- better or worse- empathy is simply feeling with someone. And that's what Husk does.

During the first chorus, Husk is clearly teasing Angel a bit while doing so, but not without good reason. It's keeping Angel from closing back up again, he's being a little bit silly with him and teasing him. I mean, did you see the silly lil walk he did crossing in front of Angel? And Angel is super confused because he's like "how tf is this supposed to make me feel better??"

That's the thing. It's not. That's sympathy's job, not empathy's. Empathy just want's you to feel felt with, it doesn't want to tell you how to feel. And adding that bit of silliness gives Angel's vulnerability a chance to breathe and it prevents Angel from closing in on himself.

The next verse, pre-chorus, and chorus is when the empathy though really kicks in.

The next verse, is the first part of empathy: Sharing about a similar experience you went through.

In this verse, now that Angel is listening not just hearing, Husk shares that he has been gruesomely damaged. Calling back to what he shared literally seconds before the song. That he knows what it's like to sign away your soul, and constantly look back at it with huge amounts of regret. That knowing that moment is what turned him into the mess he is today, and that he has no one to blame but himself. Just like Angel.

Then in the pre-chorus where there's the whole:

"I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak Haha! And you think that makes you unique? Get outta here, man!"

That isn't Husk telling Angel to get over himself and this isn’t him undermining what Angel’s been through. That's him saying 'I did too, you're not alone’

And then the very simple word change from "you're" to "we're" in the chorus is SO FREAKING HUGE. Because Husk is essentially saying "You feel like a total loser right now. Ok. Then if what happened to you/what you went through makes you a loser, then I'm a loser too. Let's be loser's together." Instead of trying to make Angel stop feeling like he's a hopeless loser, he decides that he is too.

He meets Angel where he is.

Aka: ✨empathy✨

Angel finally feels seen, understood, felt with. All the goals of empathy. He no longer feels alone in what he is struggling with, which is HUGE! Especially for people going through/dealing with SA and abuse.

The bridge of the song, is also extremely important, because this is where they acknowledge the differences in what they're going through. Their root problem is the same, but how it messed up their lives and created the problems they deal with now are completely different

And that's around when the song begins to shift from just Husk showing empathy and comforting Angel, to them both finding comfort in each other.

Which you can clearly see by the chorus under the umbrella, where it's not just one of them singing the chorus, but it's both of them. Because they have found a place to go to and confide in, a place of comfort, with each other.

Like, I am genuinely concerned that people find this song toxic like... have- have you never experienced empathy before? Are you ok?

So yeah, to wrap this up, if you don’t like ‘Loser, Baby’ just because you don’t like the song in general? That’s fine (odd, but fine)

But if you hate it because it “undermines Angel’s experience and what he goes through” I…

words.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

#Welp #ADHD stole my phone again #I’m so normal about them #the songs been out for a day how the hell have I analyzed it this much already tf #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #hazbin hotel #HH #HH spoilers #hazbin hotel spoilers

[tarotwithlove]

pick a card ⋆ what do people love about you?

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC · TIPS ♡ tips and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards ⋆ seven of swords, king of pentacles (reversed), knight of cups, the hanged man, eight of cups, the sun (reversed).

songs ⋆ amigo by lous and the yakuza. sorry - homecoming live by beyoncé. life after salem by lil nas x. pink + white by frank ocean.

hey there group one ♡ people love that nothing can truly get you down. you may experience hardship after hardship, but you will always come back. and, more than that, you will come back with a positive attitude and a positive outlook on life.

you seem to have an undying faith in the universe, in the divine and/or in god. and people love this so much about you that they want to be around you, they want to bask in your positive energy.

that’s not to say that people only think of you as positive and optimistic, but they know that if you are having a bad time or going through a bad patch, you will find a way out. you may complain and feel hopeless, but you do not wallow in your misery. you do not give up. they know that you have negative thoughts and feelings but you will never let these overtake your positive ones.

people love to be around you. they love how hopeful you make them feel about life. they love how much you restore their faith in the bigger picture - in the belief that even when they do not see a positive outcome, the divine is surely working on one.

they love that you make them want to work hard and not give up.

GROUP TWO

cards ⋆ page of pentacles, the moon (reversed), justice, eight of cups, the emperor, the devil. 

songs ⋆ off to the races by lana del rey. identity by taemin. crazy eyes by alex mali. i-drip-or-is by jaden.

hey there group two ♡ people love that they can look after you or guide you in some way. you may feel alone and as if you are more a burden to those around you than anything else, but this is just not true and is largely a projection of your own thoughts and fears. 

there is so much about you to love that you just do not see. and it is okay if you don’t see it, it doesn’t make it any less apparent. people love your youthfulness and the new perspectives you introduce them to. they also love they new perspectives they can introduce you to. 

you may inspire people to take on the role of a figure they always wished they had in their own life. be it good friend, reliable sibling, kind teacher, loving partner - whatever it may be, people love that you allow them to step up in this meaningful way and be this better version of themselves. that you allow them to feel reliable and relied on.

they love that they can be around you and watch as you grow into yourself and who you’re meant to be. that is, in and of itself, enough for the people around you who love and care about you. 

GROUP THREE

cards ⋆ knight of wands, knight of pentacles, the chariot, the tower, the emperor, ten of wands. 

songs ⋆ xs by rina sawayama. geyser by mitski. monday by life of hojj. i’m that chick by mariah carey.

hey there group three ♡people love your love for life. you are a passionate, driven person who knows what they want out of life and knows what they need to do in order to achieve it.

you are consistent and you have the eye on the prize, never letting distractions or hiccups along the road get the better of you or stop you from working towards your dream.

you have an innate confidence in yourself. and even if you feel that this is untrue and you are actually a deeply insecure person, people see the way you carry yourself and hear the way you speak and they think of you as confident. they love that you are your own number one biggest fan and supporter.

anyone who looks at you or spends time in your presence knows that you will be great, that you will make a name for yourself in some capacity, and they love that they can witness this. they love that they can you before you become this great person.

honestly, with the chariot, the tower, and the emperor, the energy for this group is a bit overwhelming. as if the people around you are just consumed by how much they love and admire you as a person. it’s hard to say, oh, people love this about your or they love that about you, because it’s just that people love you.

you are a enigmatic force and people can’t get enough of you and your presence. 

GROUP FOUR

cards ⋆ seven of cups (reversed), patience, the tower, death, ace of wands (reversed), knight of cups. 

songs ⋆ got to get it by sisqo. liquid smooth by mitski. knock on by nct 127. stupid for you by waterparks. 

hey there group four ♡people love your levelheaded maturity. you may be older than a lot of your peers, or you may just have a more mature outlook on life than those around you.

you may already know what you want to do with your life or you may have had certain life experiences that cause you to see the world in a completely different way from others your age. 

people love that they can trust in you and rely on you. they love, too, that you will treat any situation with patience, and the care that it deserves. people love that they can clearly communicate with you; that they can have difficult conversations with you without it turning into an argument or being blown out of proportion. 

this group, more than any of the others, may have a lot of secret admirers. and the majority of the people who are being channelled here are specifically people who have romantic interest in you. but this also goes for people who are not romantically interested in you, of course. regardless, what people love about is you is that you solid, reliable, and mature. they love that you can solve problems together instead of running away when things get too hard or even slightly too difficult.

#** #tarot #pac #pick a card #pick a photo #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarotonline #tarotcreator #tarotcommunity #tarot community #channeled message #channelled message #spirituality #spiritualism

[devildomwriter]

“…Excuse me? You don’t know TSL? And you call yourself a human?! Just how clueless ARE you?! How could you not know?! Just the fact that you don’t know TSL alone is proof that you’ve been wasting your life! So, I’m going to do you a favor and teach you about TSL. Make sure you pay attention! The Tale of the Seven Lords, otherwise known as TSL, is a series of fantasy novels written by Christopher Peugeot. It’s a heroic epic spanning 138 volumes, and it’s the most widely-read fantasy series in the world. There are even theatrical versions, an animated series, and feature films, too. And it’s been translated into a total of 182 different languages. The 1990s theatrical version was an utter disaster, owing to the fact that they added several characters that were NOT present in the original manuscript. At the time I was like, “this producer totally needs to crawl into a hole and die!” But then the 2015 version came out, and it was AMAZING! Better than amazing! If you ask me, it showed that needlessly cramming a female lead in there alongside Henry was a bad idea. That’s not what he needs. What he NEEDS is a friend who really understands him, and the 2015 version proved that.

Also, the most vital element of the story is that each of the Seven lords is so unique. They’re all so interesting in their own peculiar way. That’s what makes TSL so great! The lords are all brothers…the oldest is called the Lord of Corruption. He doesn’t come across as being so bad at first, but he’s always plotting and planning in secret. The second oldest is the Lord of Fools, a scumbag who’ll do anything for money. The third oldest is called the Lord of Shadow, a brooding recluse. The fourth oldest is known as the Lord of Masks. He masquerades as a high-status, upstanding member of society, but underneath it all, he’s an inhumane monster. The fifth oldest, the Lord of Lechery, only ever thinks of sex. The sixth oldest is the Lord of Flies, and he only ever thinks of food. The seventh oldest, called the lord of Emptiness. He’s weird…you never know what’s running through his head! It seems most people like the oldest lord, the lord of corruption, the best. Everyone always talks about how great he is. But not me. I like the third Lord way more. Of course, I like Henry too. He’s the protagonist. He’s almost as great as the third lord. The second Lord is total scum, a hopeless degenerate that leads a life of extravagance and indulgence. He’s always causing trouble for the third lord. He’s got these magical pigs that can give birth to solid gold piglets, and he treasures them above all else. So Henry goes and talks to the pigs, and using his wit and powers of persuasion, he convinces them to leave with him. Then, he leads every last one of them away, and presents them to the third lord as a gift! Wow…I mean, they’re SUCH GOOD FRIENDS you can almost feel it! It’s enough to make you cry! Oh, and then there’s that one really awesome moment when the two of them realize they both like and respect each other, and they high-five! I just LOVE that part, you know? I wish I could have a moment like that. …I wish I could be like the third lord. I may be a recluse like him, but we’re totally different, because he’s got an amazing friend like Henry. Check it out. See that goldfish in the fish tank there? He’s actually named Henry. I love TSL so much that I couldn’t help naming him after the main character. But I cant really high-five a goldfish, can I?

The original author of TSL, Christopher Peugeot, he’s actually a human, you know? That’s why I’m so jealous of you guys. Humans are so lucky, you’ve got subscription services that let you watch your favorite anime anytime, you can go to Akihabara whenever you want… Why do only you guys get to experience all the good stuff? I mean, humans’ whole concept of pleasure originally came from us demons, you know? We gave it to you. So, why can’t we have a little bit of it back now, huh? I mean, I want to be able to go to a Japanese maid café, too. I want to hear the maids welcome me as if I’m the master of the house, and have them draw ketchup hearts on my friend ride omelette, to experience the magic of it all. I want to cosplay as Henry, and then go stand in the center of Akihabara, or maybe that one building in Tokyo that’s shaped like upside-down triangles. And once I’m there, I want to perform Henry’s super-powerful signature finishing move for all to see and say the incantation that goes with it. I want to shout it at the top of my lungs!...Actually you know what? I want to BE Henry.”

— Leviathan’s longest TSL rant (Chapter 1-13)

#literally the rant was so long I had to break it up because tumblr wouldn’t let me post it all together #obey me shall we date #obey me quote #obey me quote of the day #obey me leviathan #obey me leviasim #obey me tsl #obey me leviathan quotes #obey me chapter 1

[a-d-nox]

the root chakra and whether i believe you could survive an apocalypse

the root chakra is telling of our survival instincts and what we need to survive.

1 (the magician): absolutely these people are super resourceful and can definitely figure out how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world.

media representation: mike lowe on alone s2

2 (the high priestess): you saw the end coming but likely want nothing to do with long term living in a world without life and only death. you probably are a prepper though.

3 (the empress): it's pretty unlikely you will live - you are too reliant on others providing for you and likely would miss the convince of the modern world.

4 (the emperor): 100% is going to live - this person saw it coming and was preparing for a long time (mentally, physically, etc). they don't have interest in a commune either or rather they would never be dependent on others to survive - they would probably become a leader in an apocalypse.

media representation: any lead character in a post-apocalyptic movie / tv show

5 (the hierophant): dooms-dayer - 100% percent would pray on those who are scared and convince them that you have minimal ways to survive most of which will involve aiding them. they are the type to dictate to others what they need to be done but won't get their own hands dirty. they have zero issues turning religion into a way of life and claiming that current passages were warning them all along - they definitely would result to implementing scare tactics.

media representation: david in the last of us

6 (the lovers): reliant on others for survival. they aren't likely to last long in that regard but also they are likely prone to depression and would become existentialistic.

7 (the charioteer): their survival depends on whether or not they have survival gear - if they don't have a good baseline, they are likely going to be the first to go. they do make good nomads though so long as they do not depend on motorways too early into the apocalypse.

8 (strength): they start out strong then end up giving up. they can be prone to getting hurt too so it is likely they will succumb to infection - perhaps consider shaping up your first aid and herbal knowledge base.

9 (the hermit): the hermit himself was a man of the wilderness - he disappeared on his own and survived on his own. these people are likely to do the same. very little will impend them they just have to be of the mindset they can do it.

media representation: the tv show alone

10 (wheel of fortune): this is the person who just survives based off of dumb luck sometimes these people have really really bad luck though.

11 (justice): this is a practical individual - who knows how to use their resources. unfortunately, they are rather high maintenance so they might be unhappy in a post-apocalyptic world.

media representation: american horror stories: apocalypse (s8)

12 (the hanged man): nope 100% wouldn't make it - probably would be the one to want to loot and take from stores then get hurt in the process because they aren't aggressive enough.

13 (death): they bounce back all the time, so i wouldn't be surprised if they just keep coming back from almost dying.

media representation: joel in the last of us

14 (temperance): they would be great at moderation/rationing their supplies, but they can experience exposure to the elements that nearly kills them if not kills them.

15 (the devil): nope, they are too dependent on the modern world and likely couldn't adjust to new horrors of an apocalyptic world.

16 (the tower): i mean they are preppers and i can see them being capable and durable, but they are accident prone and can have a horrible death if not careful.

17 (the star): absolutely not - these people are quick to give up and feel hopeless in a post-apocalyptic world. they are also prone to being overly exposed to the elements.

18 (the moon): i feel like they could survive but the question is whether or not they could bear being alone with themselves... being alone makes you face all the shadows of the self. i don't feel that they would do well in a group dynamic as they would clash with the different personalities.

19 (the sun): oop these people dip so hard. they don't care what it takes to survive they simply will.

20 (judgment): simply yes. they are very capable of remaking a life in a world they no longer recognize.

21 (the world): definitely. this is a bad ass placement - they come out on top every single time. they are often the last man standing in a survival situation.

22 (the fool): they lack awareness and it tends to be their downfall. also they take too many risks and in a survival situation, you can't simply "wing it".

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#astrology #astro community #astro placements #astro chart #astrology tumblr #tarot witch #tarot art #daily tarot #rider waite tarot #tarot deck #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarot #tarotscope #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #wyrd web #web of wyrd #matrix of destiny #matrix of fate

[bugs1nmybrain]

Safe: Aizawa Shouta x Virgin! Reader NSFW (Minors Don’t Interact)

Summary: Sex is something you never experienced, and you ended up a virgin into your adult years. You had never felt comfortable enough with anyone, but you finally feel ready to take the leap with Shouta. 

Word Count: 2632

Warnings: Virgin reader, fem reader, a heartwarming amount of consent, fingering, nipple play, vanilla sex

It was a quiet Saturday night and you and Aizawa had been having a little stay-in date together. The weekend is the only time you two get to see each other because of your busy schedules, so Shouta made it a point to savor that free time by spending it with you. Tonight, you ordered Chinese food and were currently watching a movie (but Shouta fell asleep 10 minutes in). 

You and Aizawa have been dating for about four months. You had met each other because you live in the same neighborhood, and he had found you feeding the stray cats every morning. He took a liking to you because of this. You exchanged phone numbers and ended up getting to know one another. 

Admittedly, you were a bit intimidated by Aizawa. He seemed so stern and deadpan, but once you got closer to him, you discovered how gentle and soft this man was under the surface. He was the first person you felt truly comfortable with romantically. You had dated in the past but often found yourself not being able to be authentic with those people. There was a sense of pressure in being in those relationships because they wanted to move too fast for your liking. Those relationships often ended pretty quickly because of this and it was often on bad terms. 

In terms of sex, in particular, you felt hopeless. You were never comfortable enough with those people to take it that far. You never felt ready. This ended up with you into your adult years as a virgin. You felt embarrassed about it. Everyone else has done it, why couldn’t you?

Shouta made you feel like you could be yourself around him. He didn’t encourage you to change or do anything you weren’t ready to do. You had informed him that you were a virgin a few weeks into your guys’ relationship. He wasn’t exactly surprised, he noticed quickly that you seemed a little uncoordinated with the aspects of dating. There wasn’t any pressure to move to that base, Aizawa wasn’t a horny rut who needed to fuck as soon as he started dating someone. The idea wasn’t even brought up afterward. 

For the last week or so, you’ve thought more intensively about having sex. You had experimented with sex toys on yourself and while those felt okay, you knew it wasn’t the real thing.  It scared you to try it. You were afraid you’d do it wrong, or you wouldn’t enjoy it. There was also the fear of being vulnerable with somebody. Being naked with someone and having their own nude body pressed up against yours. That’s not including the idea of a penis being inside of you. It’s all too much to process. 

However, Shouta was somebody that you’ve become comfortable with. You felt safe around him. And although some people would consider him rugged and worn-down, you thought he was quite attractive. Unlike the partners you’ve had in the past, you feel as if your relationship is natural. You wanted your first time to be with him. You knew he’d be patient and gentle with you. 

Some time passed and the movie ends, Aizawa still sleeping. Taking out your phone, you glance at the time shown. 8:47pm. This is typically around the time you’d leave. You look over at Shouta, eyes closed shut, snoring quietly. He’s so cute. 

The more you contemplate it, the more you really wanted to have sex with him. While the thought of being intimate with him made you nervous, there was a burning desire within you that wanted him so badly. It made your heart race and cheeks flush just to think about it. You wondered what he looked like underneath his clothes, how good his hands would feel caressing your figure, his lips on your body…

Feeling your eyes on him even in his sleep, Shouta opens his eyes. You jolt from his unexpected wake. You didn’t realize that you had been spacing out, sight fixed on him. You quickly move your eyes away from him.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” Shouta asks, followed by a yawn.

You couldn’t manage to tell him yes. You didn’t want to leave, but he probably wanted you to, you thought. 

“I mean..”

“You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to.”

Sometimes it's as if he can read your mind. He’s good at reading you up to this point. It can be annoying at times.

“That’s ok with you?”

“It’s no problem. You can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the couch.”

But I want to sleep with you.

Shouta notices your furrowed brows and rigid body language and addresses your nervous appearance.

“Is something wrong?” Shouta asks, concerned.

“No. Not really.”

“I don’t believe that.”

This fucking guy.

“It’s nothing really. It’s..kind of stupid, actually.”

“Stop stalling and get to the point,” he says sternly. He can seem a little mean but Shouta just doesn’t like it when you dance around something you obviously want to say.

Your heart was thumping so loud that you swore he could hear it, too. You wanted to tell him. Of course you did, but it made you so anxious. How do you even tell someone you want to have sex with them??? Mustering up the courage, you finally say it, but fumbling over your words in the process.

“I, um, I..well,,you and I have been together for a while now and umm…I…”

“Come on, out with it,” Shouta says firmly but in a softer tone than before.

“I’d like to, uh..have sex with you..if you’d want to, that is.”

Aizawa raises his brows in curiosity. He wasn’t really expecting this, but he couldn’t say he was upset about it by any means.

“Is that what you really want?”

“Yes. I do want that.”

“And you feel like you’re ready?”

“Yea. I mean, I don’t really know what to do, but I just know that I want to share that kind of experience together.”

There’s a painful silence that falls for a few seconds. Though you couldn’t see because your head was glued to the floor, Shouta softens his look toward you. He scooches close to your side and lets out a deep hum before continuing the conversation.

“I’d like that. You’re comfortable doing this with me?”

“I am. I feel safe with you, Shouta.”

Shouta takes your hand in his and thumbs your palm. He plants a kiss on your temple, making your cheeks turn pink.

“Well, let’s go to the room then, shall we?”

You nod, eyes still focused on your feet. Aizawa stands up from the couch, gesturing for you to go in front of him, following you into the bedroom. Shouta shuts the door behind him. Not knowing what to do with yourself, you sit down on the edge of Shouta’s bed. He sits down close beside you.

“I don’t know what to do,” You say. Aizawa puts his hand on the side of your shoulder, pulling your weight to rest on his side. 

“That’s ok. I’ll teach you.”

His reassurance makes you smile.

You feel your heart fall heavy, realizing what lies ahead of you. Shouta takes the hand that was resting on your shoulder and moves your hair off of your left shoulder, stroking it for a few moments. You never really realized how touch-starved you were until right now. His fingers felt so comforting running through your hair.

Shouta slowly makes his way to kiss the nape of your neck, sending shivers up your body. His breath feels hot on your skin, causing you to melt into him. After focusing on your neck for a bit, he leaves the area, and tilts your head up to place a warm kiss onto your lips. His scuff tickles around your mouth, making you smile into the kiss. He wraps his arms around you, holding the back of your head with his hand.

His kisses grow deeper, tongue sliding along your lower lip, asking for entrance. You grant him permission, and he entangles his tongue with yours. His affection and the sounds of kissing make you feel a pool in your stomach. His hands move to the him of your shirt, moving up underneath it, stopping at your waist for a few moments, giving you a few more kisses. With a kiss to your cheek, Shouta continues. He strips you of your shirt, then your pants, leaving you only in a bra and panties. You feel so vulnerable being almost naked in front of him. 

Kissing you down to your chest, he reaches to your back and unclasps your bra with ease. He peels the material off you slowly, revealing your nude breasts to him. Shouta feels his cock twitch at the sight of your tits. You whimper, embarrassed and self-conscious, and you attempt to cover yourself with your hands. Shouta makes a point to affirm you.

“You don’t have to do that. I want to see you.” He takes your hands and places them on your thighs. He places his hands on your breasts, gently squeezing them. He makes circles around your nipples with his thumb before tweaking them in between his fingers, making you whine. 

“This is a little unfair, don’t you think?”

“What do you mean?”

“You have all your clothes on.”

Aizawa chuckles and admits to your remark, “You’re right. I’ll fix that.” He undresses, leaving his boxers on. Your eyes lock onto his frame. To no surprise, he had hair dusted along his chest.   He isn’t as muscular as most heroes, but he’s toned with scars marking his body. He’s so gorgeous. You can see his boner inside his underwear, making you extra nervous, yet you feel yourself moisten inside of your panties. He moves his fingers on the edges of your underwear, tugging at them.

“I’m going to take these off, okay?”

“Okay.”

He pulls your panties down your thighs and off your legs, dropping them on the floor. 

“Can I touch you?”

Again, you nod nervously.

“Use your words, kitten.”

Kitten. That alone makes your insides flutter like crazy.

“Yes. Yes, please.”

Shouta caresses your thighs and guides his fingers in between your legs, lightly touching your labia. The feeling of your soaked cunt makes him strain against his boxers, cock growing warmer. He moves between your folds, reaching your wet clit, and circling it with two fingers. An anxious moan escapes. 

“So responsive,” He teases. He lowers his head to your tits, taking a nipple in his mouth as he keeps playing with your clit. You’re pulsing against him, overwhelmed by the sensations. The circles of his fingers pace faster, but not too vigorously. You tremble underneath his touch, feeling your orgasm approaching. 

“Yes, Shouta…keep going, please!” You quietly plead. 

With a few more moments of pleasure, you feel violent waves of pleasure surge through your body. Extra fluid escapes your pussy, leaving his fingers a sticky mess. He hums as you pant from the aftermath of your climax. God, you were so perfect for him. He kisses your forehead, “How are you feeling?” 

“You’re really good at that.” 

“Do you want to keep going?”

“Yes.”

Shouta lays down beside you and removes his boxers. You watch as his cock springs out, revealing his well-endowed member. You quiver at the sight, averting your eyes instantly.

“You can look. It’s not going to bite, I promise.”

You giggle lightly and look back at him. “I’ve never seen one. Should I touch you?” 

“If you want to.”

You were reluctant, but you wanted to touch him. Your hand gets close, but you hesitate. Shouta notices and takes your hand to rest on his penis. The foreign feeling makes your breath hitch, but you manage to stroke it slowly.

“I don’t know how..”

“You’re doing good, just put a little more pressure on it.”

Obliging to his request, you move your hand along his cock, applying pressure as you stroked it. You thumb around the glands, drawing out a low, drawn out hum from Shouta. He sounded so sexy. You continue your movements, increasing the pace a little. He kissed your neck while you touched his cock. Shouta could feel the buildup of an orgasm approaching, his pleasure coming mostly from how adorable you were figuring out how to please him. 

“Stop,”he says abruptly. You look back in confusion.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, kitten. You’re doing just fine. I just don’t want to cum before I’m inside you.”

Right. You two hadn’t even gotten to the main event. 

Shouta reaches over to the nightstand, pulling out a condom from the drawer. He climbs over you, tearing the package to then slide the condom down his shaft. His attention focuses back on you. You’re clearly very very nervous, shoulders rising and falling at the rhythm of your heavy breaths. 

Your heart is beating so fast and Shouta can tell.

“Try to relax. It won’t feel good if you don’t.”

You take a few deep breaths and try your best to relax your body. Shouta moves the tip of his cock up and down your folds. He halts to a stop, proceeding to push himself deep inside you. You wince at the pain and Shouta stops, letting you get used to the feeling. 

“Does it hurt?”

“Not really. I just feel full.” 

“I’ll go slow, okay?”

“Okay.”

Shouta moves gently, pulling in and out of you with slow thrusts. The sensation of his thick cock filling you up repeatedly makes your stomach tighten. 

“Breathe, kitten.”

You comply with his suggestion. Shouta moves closer to your body, pressing his naked chest against yours. He focuses on your facial expressions, looking for signs of discomfort. Your eyes are soft and you’re producing soft whimpers. 

“You can..you can go faster,” you tell him, feeling adjusted to his length. 

Shocks of pleasure are filling you as he begins to thrust at a moderate pace. Shouta buries his face in the crook of your neck. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for comfort. He grunts deep in your ear, making you moan at the sound. You’re so tight and wet around his cock, making him twitch inside of you. The perfect grip of your walls of your insides makes him increase the speed slightly, snapping his hips against you at a perfect rhythm. You whine, whimper, and moan at every slick thrust. Your noises are music to his ears. 

“Shouta!”

Shouta praises you, “You’re doing so well, kitten. Just a little bit more.”

He can feel his own orgasm approaching. He keeps filling you deeply, over and over. Finally, he groans as he releases his cum in the condom that was inside of you. Shouta leaves himself inside of you for a few more moments as the sounds of you panting fill the air. He pulls out of you and removes the condom, tossing it into the trash bin next to the bed. 

Shouta lies down beside you, and pulls you into his chest, planting a kiss on your temple.

“How do you feel?”

“Good. Very good.” You smile.

“I’m glad.”

“Shouta?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I wanted that just as much as you did.”

“I feel so lucky to be with you.”

“I’m not that special, you know?”

“You are to me.”

“I love you.”

Shouta doesn’t say it often. When he does he really means it. 

“I love you too.”

He continues to stroke your hair until you eventually drift off to sleep, and he soon follows suit.  You’re so unbelievably happy right now. It was thanks to him that your first time got to be so special. 

#aizawa #aizawa smut #Aizawa Shouta #virgin reader #aizawa x reader

[suninyourmoon]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS (2)

🗣 Not professional astrologer! It’s only based on my own experience, people that i know, and self-observation. So please take with grain of salt! :D

Venus in Libra peeps could be those who keep nagging about how they want a relationship so bad. (i know a few people in my life with this placement and they can't stop complaining about how single they are help)

Leo moon are lying to themselves if they say they don't like attention. (perhaps don't realize it yet?)

A lot of Venus in Virgo people that i know at some point in their life will questioning whether they really want a marriage or not. (yeah me too)

Someone said "i can't see myself getting married. I don't know, it seems unrealistic to me" yeah you are Virgo Venus in 12th house retrograde.

I mean, Venus in Virgo itself already make this person picky when it comes to love, and then the confusion and unrealistic idea they had because of the neptune influence. And in retrograde? jeez. i believe they have been in a relationship but then the relationship they had never meet their expentation because this people have a hopeless romantic idea of what romance is.

Venus in Sagittarius / 9th need a lot of freedom. Have a special place for foreigner in ther heart. Love someone who can keep up with their wild energy. Love people who is aware of society problem. Might also into smart people. Probably like to joke around with people close to their heart as well. (or people in general)

Moon in 7th house / Moon in Libra find comfort from being around people.

or they might feel the need to be in a relationship so that they won't feel lonely. Might dealing with co-dependency. (i know it's not your fault but please seek theraphy)

Friend of mine have 7th stellium (5 planet) and i swear to god, the attachment issues they have with is not a joke. They struggle with being on their own and need someone approval in every aspect of their life. Feel like they are incomplete if they're single. Too selfless, too giving. Later in life, people with this placement might have to realize that they should learn to stand on their on feet.

Neptune in 3rd house might having a hard time to communicate what they want to say. They also might say something they don't mean.

Uranus in 3rd house saying something in such a random way. i can't understand you sometimes,,,,,,

Chiron in 2nd house peeps could deal with feeling unworthy and feel unsave. They could feel guilty if they spend money on themselves. My Friend with this placement struggle with fear of end up lacking money all the time.

TW : ED!

i've met a few people with Chiron in 1st house, all of them stuggle with self-image and body dysmorphia, and also struggling with Eating Disorder. :(

END OF WARNING

Those with Jupiter and Saturn together in 8th House will likely to be extremely wealthy. They are hardworking and blessed with money.

They might also are curious about the deeper things in live, spirituality and the theme around 8th house but at the same times fear of the unknown and uncertainty. They might be those people who want to dive deeper into sex (or just have high energy on that) and desire devoted relatonship but hold themselves back and blocking themself from intimate relationship because a deep fear of commitment. It's very frustasing when jupiter and saturn are in the same house.

this is actually synasty thingy but i felt like i need to mention this, DO NOT MESS AROUND WITH SOMEONE YOU HAVE 8TH HOUSE SYNASTRY WITH WHEN YOU’RE NOT READY AT ALL🩸👄🩸 i have my experience with someone who my planets fall into their 8th house (stellium), and they are OBSESSES. I help bring their true and darker side of them so now they’re attach on me, it’s sorta my fault for trying to fix them tho that’s why i’m telling you stop messing around with this synastry if you’re not ready.

8th house placement… did astrology became your free therapy because they can validate ur emotion and understand you so damn well? Same👍🏻

Mercury-Saturn aspect, i know it’s a good thing to be careful with ur words but please say something if you really want to say it. You literally limiting ur self sometimes and overthinks a lot

There someone i know said that they don't know how to get mad and have Mars-Saturn aspect. These people (Could be Saturn in 8th house as well) might been told during their childhood that it's wrong let their temper loose so then growing up they feel guilty to express their anger and try to burry those temper.

They also could be those who struggle with supressed sexuality.

idk but my mom have Scorpio Mars and used to make a lot of sexual jokes during my childhood. (please don't do that)

Sagittarius Asc peeps i knew in the first impression look so innocently religious and calm, and they always turns out to be not. Like, literally

Thats it✨ thankyou sm and you can give me a feedback 💥 cheers peeps🫶

#venus in libra #astro notes #venus in virgo #venus in 12th house #venus retrograde #venus in sagittarius #venus in 9th house #moon in 7th house #moon in libra #7th stellium #neptune 3rd house #uranus 3rd house #chiron 2nd house #chiron 1st house #8th house #mercury saturn aspect #mars saturn aspect #saturn in 8th house #mars in 8th house #scorpio mars #sagittarius asc

[cloudcastor]

Alright everyone AU down below!!!

I’ve been tentatively calling it “Destiny Islands AU”

On the surface, it’s a slice of life AU.In the general context of kingdom hearts, they never left the islands, Sora is just a regular school boy and all he’s worried about is what’s he gonna do once he graduates and how he’ll keep his childhood friends post-high school.

But underneath that, this is a post KH3 AU. Sora is stuck in a (wow! so original!) simulation a lá KH2. We get the “bad” and “true” end post Yozora fight, however, this AU follows the belief that the bad ending still happens. This is while Sora is asleep and in his crystal state. Using his powers, Yozora creates this as a way to keep Sora busy and ensure he doesn’t wake up any time soon to spoil any plans.

Sora’s connection to the Real World is through Riku, who has the power to reach out to him via Dreams, however, this starts to cause discrepancies. There is a “Dream” Riku and a “Real” Riku that unintentionally swap places. As Sora’s real memories start to come through, there’s hiccups in the simulation as well. Sometimes he’ll remember an experience that he knows he didn’t go through, he’ll see a ship in the sky where he once saw a boat, and sometimes people don’t remember…..Riku.

As these memories continue to surface, Sora constantly finds himself wondering what’s a dream and what’s reality.

As an aside, there’s a bit of added lore to the islands that goes as follows. The motto is Destiny Islands: of Fate, Fortune & Future.

This is thematically relevant:

FATE (memories): Play island; Where things are predestined to happen

FORTUNE(simulation): Main Island; prosperity from land, community, and tradition

FUTURE (reality): Big Island; Where those go who want change

How does this relate to Sora?

The Play Island is where the discrepancies start, and it’s where Riku first shows up. It’s a place that isn’t tied down to whatever rules the rest of the simulation is running on. A bit of a limbo if you will. This is where Sora starts to regain his true sense of self.

The Main Island is the simulation at large. It has the town, his family's shop, the school and the grocer. It’s as close to normalcy as you would imagine. If Riku hadn’t shown up Sora would probably still be stuck in the routine of it all…

The “Big Island” exists as more of a vague threat. Sora doesn’t realize that “Riku graduating and leaving the main island” means “Riku is somewhere where I'm not” to him. At least not yet. It’s also his feelings manifesting of Riku having left the islands already, except this time he has no way to follow.

Okay but where is the soriku?

It’s the Vibes™

My initial thoughts are that this is a place that’s familiar to Sora, but since it’s a world without “conflict”, it leaves him bored and reflective. Life has only ever been this hometown. Even before Riku shows up, Sora is slowly unlocking thoughts and emotions he hasn’t had the time to sit and think about for quite some time. We know he has feelings of sadness, anger, and hopelessness. Without the constant threat of the worlds falling to darkness, or friends being in danger, how would he deal with these emotions without the context. I’m sure it has him feeling confused and at a bit of a loss. The desperation starts to kick in as he imagines this dull life without Riku, he’ll do anything so he won’t get left behind(….again). It starts to break the simulation even more.

On Riku’s end… he has no idea what’s going on! Seeing Sora constantly “Dream” about the islands makes him feel guilty that he isn’t searching hard enough or that he’s not bringing him home fast enough. He truly believes Sora wants to “return home” and since he never sees himself in this simulation (because he takes his own spot) he believes it to be a home where he doesn't belong. A home he’s not welcome to return to.

However, that doesn’t stop him from at least trying to get Sora back. It’s the least he could do after all. He tells himself it’s strictly his responsibility and nothing more.

Buuuuut….. As they catch themselves meeting up from time to time, lines begin to blur. Sora thinks Real Riku is actually Dream Riku. Riku thinks Sora is simply stuck in a dream world cycle and unaware of what he’s doing. They let themselves be more honest, not knowing they are talking with each other and idk maybe they get to kiss as a treat…

The rest is a bit more of a secret since I might do something with this in the future (looks at my hands….i wanna make a comic. so bad…) but for now that’s the gist of it!

Thanks for lookin :-)

#kh au #destiny islands au #soriku #annnnd that’s it i’m not putting it in the main tag lol

[cipheramnesia]

also, i really don't understand your followers dogpiling on me for asking a question. again, if everyone takes it personally every time someone doesn't know how to do something or realize there is an option, no one will ask questions or learn everything. there is no need to shame people for that. with that, i'm going to unfollow, don't worry. it's just disheartening to see people acting like this instead of choosing to be kind.

I choose to set one boundary and you have interpreted that as being unkind. I am doing all I can with everything I have right now, and you have also made the decision to interpret it as unkind. You don't know about my spending every day wrapped up in hopeless anxiety, thoughts of suicide every few hours, no idea how or if we're ever going to get back the home we only have because of my mother dying, or me being curled up crying on the basement floor a few hours ago.

Which is fine. You're not even seeing this. I don't know you, you don't know me, but I do my best with whatever I have that day. Sometimes it's not enough for everyone, it's not enough for you I guess, but you've now sent me two long paragraphs describing other people as unkind, letting me know that you did not like my brief response, telling me you don't care to interact with me because this made you feel bad about asking a stranger to resolve a problem which you had the ability to solve independently, where a cursory review would have shown I already try to make my longer posts avoidable, and realistically placing the responsibility of the whole of Tumblr's general culture on a stranger.

I am trying my best, and that is all that I can do, but I cannot do all of these things, and I am genuinely sorry that you feel the need to use whatever function you had remaining today to take a momentary interaction online which will never reflect back on you directly in any way, and use that time and capability to try to make other people feel bad about themselves.

I expect that whoever you are, your behavior in normal, person to person interactions outside Tumblr is pleasant and even something people enjoy being around. And probably that is because when you experience brief moments of feeling rejection, like me, you understand not to immediately verbalize those feelings and act on them, but to give yourself time to process the feeling and, in many cases, discover it was not only not worth reacting to, your feelings stemmed more from receiving a minor but deserved chastisement.

We accept these things, and move on. I have also fucked up, maybe I'm doing it right now. And I'll accept it and admit it and try not to fuck up again and move on, but I don't particularly feel like that's the case for me here. And honestly not the case for you, whoever you are. This is all brief and immaterial and hardly worth the time spent writing. But here we are, neither of us mattering much in any way, together.

#anon hate #i guess #anon is off now

[honeydewdelight]

LGBTQ+ HEADCANONS

Main six and more let's gooooo

Twilight Sparkle

Asexual

Although homophobia and transphobia is rare in Equestria, asexuality it also not often talked about

Twilight struggles with romance in her late teen and early adult years.

She felt like there was something wrong with her, but couldn't pinpoint what it was. The idea of relationships was so strange to her, but romance seemed to appealing. She didn't get it.

One day she went to talk to Shining Armour about it

Shining is a beegg!! Ally!! But knew this was outside of his area of expertise, so asked Cadence about it

Cadence went to Twilight and they talked about it for hours. She explained it all to Twi and made her feel so loved, normal, and beautiful.

After that, the pressure of relationships went away, and she wouldn't focus on it for another few years. Putting her studdies first, and later putting her friendships first.

Rainbow Dash

A big gay is what she is

Lesbian

Uses She/He/They

Gender? I hardly know her

Gender? Take her out to dinner first

Okay I'll stop

Applejack

Another big gay

Experimented with gender but just prefers she/her

Not really confortable with labels

Pinkie Pie

Pan

She's literally pan colours what else did you expect

Uses she/they

Fluttershy

Trans

Wears tail extensions (canon)

When she was a filly, she couldn't figure out why she felt so bad about herself all the time

Rainbow Dash helped her big time, gently pushing her to explore her gender

Transitioning in Equestria is pretty easy, blablabla something with magic n stuff

Rarity

Your honour, she is bi

CANON and you can't tell me otherwise, she WILL flirt with anyone

Bit of a disaster bi

Demisexual and very confident about it

Hopeless romantic

Loves to dable in romance but ultimately loves being independent above anything else

Never really stays in long term relationships

Often the one to break up

But she does it with such grace and elegance?? Most of her ex-partners stay friends with her. People dont know how she does it

Bonbon and Lyra

Your honour, they are married

Lyra is lesbian

Bonbon is bi

Discord

Gender? I hardly kn-

Uses he/him because that's what people use and he rolls with hit but his species literally doesn't have a concept of gender

Fluttershysexual and Fluttershysexual ONLY

Cadence

Big pansexual

Anytime any media has any sort of princes of god/goddess of love I just can't see anything other than pansexual

You're telling me a PRINCESS of LOVE would only feel that love for 1 gender?

She is very confident in her identity, even though she never necessary got to experiment and explore with it since shining armour was her first big crush, and they have been together ever since

Is extremely educated about LGBTQ+ Identities and matters

Maybe I'll talk about some more later on^^

#mary rambles about horses #why are my pinkie pie headcanons always so short #shes literally my favorite and I think about her so often lol #mlp headcanons #twilight sparkle #rainbow dash #fluttershy #applejack #pinkie pie #rarity #cadence #shining armor #discord #lyra #bonbon #mlp #my little pony

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Short letter for a rainy day "

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read a comforting letter just for you for your (literally or not) rainy days. Senders are gonna be different for y'all, I'll try to channel something about them too.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

1 2 3 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

[sender: your Guides/Angels or ancestors; possibly a group of people for most of you. Someone that loves you nonetheless. May be a grandparent/parent/friend/family member/(future) lover's HS as well for a few. You may be getting encouraging signs or dreams here and there: these are meant to calm you and help you go on]

Darling, stop your tears please. It's so painful to see you so hopeless like that... I know it's tiring to keep going on like this, feeling all this pain so deeply, but things will change. We're protecting you. Listen to us, don't be stubborn: let us help you heal your heart. Let us help you see what is going on from a different point of view, a more open and safer one. A more positive one too. Don't hold on what is meant to leave you: trust us, it's gonna be okay even if now it just feels so painful and impossible. Even if now you don't want to let go... that's an old story, and it's time to live a new one now. So let it go. Breath in some new fresh air and let go. How can you manifest your desires if you keep staying where they cannot be? Move on, be bold and brave. Success is assured. Now try to calm down and breathe. Let go off all the pain and start anew. We love you.

song: you and me | lifehouse (you may be pretty confused atm, either about love -you may fear not being able to experience it or be loved by anyonealso cause of past experiences also with family/friends- or about your self worth too or career/future)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 2

[sender: could be your HS or someone's HS, either someone still in the 3d or not. Possibly your main Guide atm. They're trying to reach you down in any possible way, try to let them in -I think if you're someone that tends to get angered and frustrated and you may avoid listening to others and close off]

I'm here, why don't you want to give me your hands? Let me hold you as I used to. I don't wanna hurt you and I for sure don't want you to hurt. Seeing you hurt pains me so much, but I also know you need those moments to let it all out. I know that the further down you reach, the stronger you can get up again: you always do this. But I also know it can be heart wrenching to always have to do this alone. Let me help you, then. Let me cheer you up. Let me clear your darkest skies. Let me help you see the light around you, the light that you emanate from within, everytime you forget about it and let yourself be enveloped by the dark. You're not that, I know. Be kind with yourself, do not fight your feelings. Let them flow in your body, know them, know yourself. And then let them out: run, scream, dance, throw punches at your pillow... there's nothing bad in that. at all. I'm here to help you, if you let me. Stop hurting yourself now, that's enough.

song: grenade | bruno mars (you may be feeling frustrated by someone's behaviour with you, something you don't understand)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

[sender: someone special for sure, either someone you love/loved deeply or your future partner or best friend's HS. Maybe your main Guide too. They're a gem, and you're the same for them. They're kind of precise but also may lose track of their words if you interrupt them or if they even interrupt themselves. Very sweet energy]

Dear, Please put things into perspective. Take a breath before you keep going in that direction with your mind. It's not something that you should do. You're so special... please take care of you, drink your water. Let water cleanse you and relax you in any possible way. Shower, take a bath... Do not overwork, do not stress: you know things get heavier when you do and you tend to breakdown more easily. Respect yourself please... and don't close me off ("you can't"). You know you need me, as I need you. Let me in, trust me, trust us. See your real worth, how strong and determined you are and how amazing you are: do not come in between yourself with your doubts and all those negative thoughts that sometimes you let run wild inside. You're not them, don't listen to them. They just wanna hurt you, while I wanna save/help you. Let me in, come on. Let me love you, let me take care of you.

song: freak me | another level (yes this could be a lover/fs/counterpart for most of you ofc... got lot of 18+ messages as well and tbh this is not your first song I picked up but the less explicit one hopefully)

#pick a pile #pac #pac reading #pick a card tarot #pick a picture #pick a card reading #pick a photo #pick a card #pac tarot #free tarot reading #tarot readings #tarot reading #tarotblr #divination #clairs readings #psychic readings #intuitive readings #intuition #letter

[writing-for-life]

Nuance in (The Sandman) Fandom

Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

I thought a lot over the past few days, partly prompted by discourse on here, partly due to a couple of “interesting” asks and messages I received (the type you don’t answer). I *think* they might have been prompted by engaging in discourse on topics like anti-blackness/racism, misogyny/sexism, TERF characters etc in The Sandman.

Fandoms are always getting super sensitive if someone shines a critical lens on their favourite works, authors and characters. So to make this clear (in case it isn’t already obvious from my brain-rot blog):

I love The Sandman. I love Neil Gaiman. I have an extremely soft spot for Dream (and Desire btw, who deserves a lot more character analysis than just being summed up as “villainous, sexy bitch”. One day, perhaps ;)).

I can read The Sandman and just get lost in the story, even after decades and many rereads. 

But I can also view it through a critical lens—these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Not critical enough or too critical?

As fans, we can get trapped in certain thinking patterns, like:

“My blorbo can do no wrong”-syndrome 

“Characters with flaws are inherently problematic and imply authorial endorsement of those actions” 

“Characterisation and problematic subtext are one and the same” (aka overanalysing and looking for problems where there are none is the death of every story, but failing to see problematic patterns where they are clearly visible is a problem, too).

Don't say anything bad about my favourite character

I think this doesn’t need much further exploration. It’s not my personal way of looking at stories through permanently rose-tinted glasses (I always feel it stalls my experience, but my experience is not everyone else's). Some people prefer that type of escapism, and I’m good with that (although the downside is of course that by not willing to engage with issues, we can unwillingly perpetuate them). Live and let live, ship and let sail. But please, for the love of god: Don’t insult people via their inboxes or messages just because their opinions and preferences don’t align with yours. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or phrase it “nicely”: It’s infantile (and a form of bullying btw), end of.

How can you even like a character who's so horrible? And that author must be equally horrible, too

We have to separate flawed characters, even those who are written to be really problematic, from real-life endorsement of these actions. 

Author, narrator and character are three fundamentally different things, and don’t overlap as much as some people seem to think. 

We can write vile, despicable characters to make a point (for me, Thessaly was always a prime example for this, and I explained why here). We probably hate them as we write them. I don’t know what else to say, but this facet of writing seems to get more and more lost on people, and it’s a worry. Crying for sanitised characterisation is one step away from censorship. We explore what is problematic about people and humanity through story. That’s how we process and learn. It’s nothing new, but it becomes impossible if we can’t write flawed and even disgusting characters. 

Face value…

Since I’m mostly in The Sandman fandom, I often read that its ending is hopeless, and that’s supposedly the entire message. 

It is agonisingly sad, yes. But is it truly hopeless? I personally see it as quite the opposite, but of course that’s my opinion, coloured by my life experiences.

I also get that show-only fans often haven’t read the comics, or at least not the whole arc. And as such, their outlook from what they’ve seen so far (and choose to focus on) has to be different by default. I also understand that many people are quite new to the comics, even if they have read them in their entirety. I’ve sat with them for 30 years, and I still find new things on every reread (and I read it more times than anyone should 🙈), and I still don’t feel like I’ve understood it all. Perhaps because I still haven’t fully understood myself (and it’s unlikely I ever will). If there’s one thing The Sandman isn’t, it’s one-dimensional and easy to grasp in its whole depth.

I just wrote a ginormous meta on it, if you’re interested, it’s here:

Subtext, (not so) glorious subtext

This is where it gets complicated:

We shouldn’t mix up characterisation and story subtext. Overanalysing every line to death will always make us find something that’s “problematic”, when it really isn’t in the wider context of the story.

Zooming in is NOT always a good thing. Sometimes, we actually need to zoom out. 

But subtext *can be* (accidentally) problematic. Even in stories we love. And none of this negates what I previously wrote.

Stories have real-life implications of sorts, and we need to be able to talk about it. That’s where those slightly flabbergasting, hostile inbox messages come in, and I want to expand on that "topic of contention" a bit:

Neil himself confirmed that the Endless basically warp reality, and that this is why, after Dream’s failed relationship with Nada, many black women in his vicinity suffer terrible fates (Ruby and Carla in particular). And that this spell is only broken when he dies, and that it is the reason why Gwen doesn’t suffer the same fate. And said Gwen then gets used as a plot device to basically absolve Hob (who canonically really is a problematic character, whether show-only fans like it or not) from his slaver past. Once again, very clearly: No one is making this up. Neil confirmed it (for the comics, and that was over 20 years ago. It remains to be seen if his stance has changed as we move into that arc in the TV show).

I don't think it is correct to imply that Dream as a character is racist (I've read that, too) because he logically can’t be. He holds *all* the collective unconscious. He is also, strictly speaking, not white. He is everything and nothing, and he shows up in many different ethnicities throughout the whole arc, depending on who looks at him. But Neil played with a subtext here (reality warping due to a bad relationship which then affects everyone with similar physical traits) that will read very differently to a black person than it reads to a white person, and we have to understand why that is an *extremely* slippery slope.

Plus, we are supposed to see Hob, who *was* a racist at some point (you can’t not be if you’re a slave-trader—it’s impossible by default) as redeemed. And yes, he *does* regret deeply, good for him (and if I were saying this aloud, you would hear the sarcasm in my voice, because it is indeed all about him. We are to sympathise/empathise with him and his character growth while there isn’t much mention of the people he maltreated). But also: it was a black woman who basically forgave him (with dialogue that personally makes me cringe). And that black woman who offers forgiveness is not truly a black woman—she is a character written by a white man. And as much as author and character are not the same (see above), there is an inherent sensitivity in that power imbalance that we can't brush under the carpet.

I don’t think Neil is racist. Probably quite the opposite, and I can even see that his intentions were good from a storytelling point of view. BUT intention and impact are two fundamentally different things, and telling the story this way (comic version) betrays blindspots only white people have. Just like women have blindspots when they tell stories about men, and men have blindspots when they tell stories about women (and there are a few of those in The Sandman, too). And and and…

As storytellers, we can’t always speak from lived experience. It’s impossible. And that also means we occasionally make mistakes that look bad in hindsight, even if our intentions were good.

I guess the proof is in the pudding: What do we do when people who *have* that lived experience tell us it looks bad? If they inform us why it is hurtful, plays into old stereotypes etc?

Are we willing to listen and yield (both are the foundations of allyship btw), or are we insisting that our viewpoint as someone *without* lived experience is right? That lived experience extends to all lived experiences (sex/gender, sexual orientation, age...), and from all we’ve heard from Neil so far, it seems important to him to rewrite what he sees differently today. Whether they’ll always get it right for the show—we’ll see. At the moment, it looks a lot better than in the comics, and certain issues are already being handled with a lot more sensitivity, but a few problems remain.

Pushing back on criticism that comes from people with lived experience is problematic—I’d encourage us to think about what it looks like if a white majority in the fandom is basically saying that the opinions of POC are essentially “overreactions” (and yes, that happened).

It’s complicated. The Sandman was written in a different time, and I think we have to distinguish between things that weren’t really problematic at the time but have aged poorly (again, Thessaly springs to mind, and I have lived experience as a queer person during that time, so I can see it in context while at the same time acknowledging that I would make changes to bring it to the present day), and things that were always a problem due to blindspots. They were a problem in 1990, and if they don’t get changed, they are still a problem today.

This fandom is generally so much more open and nicer than others I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s infallible, because it’s full of humans. 

Nuance is sorely needed, in both story interpretation and interaction between said humans.

#fandom discourse #fandom blindspots #sandman meta #sandman spoilers #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #nada #morpheus #sandman

[harleys1nhawaii]

SHADES OF COOL

pairing: dabi / touya todoroki x gn!reader

warnings: neglectful relationship, kissing, angst

word count: 2k+

a/n: shades of cool by lana del rey will always remind me of him and him only

dabi.

he was the king of his own kingdom. with a castle with empty halls and hundreds of untouched dark rooms. when you'd catch a glimpse of it from outside, you'd think how frightening and eerie it looked, being filled up with a distressing feeling.

dabi knew it, that's why he kept it out of sight; far, far away from the human eyes. he slowly got possessed with his appearance and the outlook he had gave to the outside world. people would take a step to side, kids would run to their mothers when they'd see him. they'd try to protect themselves by wrapping their arms around their bodies as if he was the big bad monster who once haunted their childhood nightmares every night.

escaping from the abuse and unwantedness, he had unwittingly fallen into the same garden once again. but in this one, there were no escape. fences that reached to the top of the sky, surrounding him. showing no glimpse of a gate to lead him to a different path of fate for him to experience other than the one that he was stucked in.

that was when he had realized that there were no other choice for him. that he had no escape and he would always be the outcast. that from then on, he only had himself for him and himself only.

after all that, it wasn't suprising for him to turn out this way. you could've only begotten a beast by giving it nothing but pure hate and hate only. if he didnt deserve the impact he had on others, then he was going to earn it. maybe then, he wouldn't have that feeling that would surround his insides and squeeze his heart into million pieces, reminding him how unlovable and frightening he was. maybe then, he could be something sturdy enough to make people know he wasnt just a cruel villain, but also someone who held power within his being.

and you on the other hand, were such a hopeless romantic. you really thought you could change him. you really thought that you could show him the "beauty" of life. how funny was that? you really thought you could make him notice that not everything was a menace. not everything was going to hurt him.

but you'd forgotten one thing; he was the menace. he was the one to hurt others, not the other way. he didn't resemble any part of what he once was before anymore and he'd never will be.

you couldn't have fixed him, couldn't have made him better. you couldn't have done nothing about his strange weather.

he was barely present. would leave randomly and sometimes it would take months for him to come back.

and you would wait.

god, you were so fucking stupid.

you dearly loved the sickest man to live on this earth. couldn't have you been generous to yourself for once?

waking up from your sleep with a banging noise coming from your front door. how many times were you going to live this same stupid scenario? and you fought with yourself every damn time, as if it changed anything. cussing yourself under your breath as you open the door and see your boyfriend all wet from the pouring rain with fresh new burns all over his face.

what in the hell was wrong with this? why was he this way while you were welcoming him with your warm arms every single damn time? why were you this stupid? couldn't you see it already? couldn't you see that he was unfixable? couldn't you realize that you could not break through his world no matter what you'd do?

couldn't you see that he was unbreakable?

how pathetic you were when you opened the door wider for him to get inside. how foolish you were when you treated his freshly opened staples and burned skin avoiding eye contact like your life was depended on it. how incorrigible you were when you didn't resist when he pulled you into a kiss.

he wrapped his rough arms und your body when he felt you just staying still and not kissing him back, just letting him. "i missed you so fucking bad doll. i'm sorry, fuck i'm sorry." he whispered to your lips when he broke the kiss, panting.

you fought with everything in yourself to not start to cry and scream, to not let him know how impossible it was to live like this. not like he would care. he would listen but he would never understand.

you wanted to believe the sweet lies he told you. you wanted to believe them too. you wanted to believe that he was sorry. even if he would do it again, atleast he would be sorry. that was maybe why you were this stupid, you never learnt your lesson. if you were the eve you would eat that apple for the second time if the chance would be given to you. you had never learnt how to let go of stuff that meant something to you, even though you meant nothing to them.

you were not enough. you could never be. you could've never been enough to replace his one and only true love, revenge. you were not capable. that was all his heart was full of. and that was why he was still alive. that was why he still came back to your house everytime when he was injured so that you could treat his injuries and could make him live a little bit longer. so that he could make it till he faced endeavor. so that he could save his lowlife for a little bit longer and make it end when he kill him.

you were the giver. you would give your love to him. treat him and be his company. and he loved his baby too, but you were just at the bottom of the triangle.

he started tendering soft kisses down your neck to your collarbone. it almost felt different. it almost felt like he was actually sorry. like he was apologizing to you by his sweet gestures.

your tongue ran over the edge of one of your incisors as you threw your head back, trying to stop the tears forming in your eye. these things you wanted to say to him that haven't let you get a one good sleep for once, but you were just going to let him live.

you were quiet. you've always been.

"no you're not."

you're hot, hot weather in the summer,

high, neglectful lover.

you're crumbling, sadly,

you're sadly, crumbling.

#dabi x reader #bnha dabi #ao3 dabi #dabi headcanons #dabi imagine #bnha touya #dabi angst #dabi bnha #dabi drabble #dabi fic #dabi todoroki #dabi fluff #dabi is touya #dabi masterlist #dabi mha #dabi soft #dabi smut #dabi x you #dabi x y/n #yandere dabi #mha dabi #touya todoroki #touya headcanons #touya fluff #dabi #todoroki touya #mha touya #touya todoroki x reader #touya x reader #touya