#in most cases i never got closure from them

[greenglowinspooks]

To be honest. DCxDP where the reason Danny meets the bats is Ace the Bat-hound

Like, just think about it for a second. Danny is in Gotham for college, or maybe he just moved out to find a city where having mad scientist parents isn’t actually that unusual.

He can see ghosts.

The ghosts know this.

Now he’s getting harassed left and right by spirits trying to get closure. Fine, whatever, most of them are a one-and-done type deal, and the amount of ghosts trying to get his help steadily decreases.

Except for this one very stubborn dog.

It just keeps showing up and leading him to crime scenes! He doesn’t know how many “anonymous tips” he can call in to the cops before they trace his phone! And this dog, this incredibly good boy, will not stop trying to help the city. He’s never met anyone with such a strong sense of justice, let alone a dog. Can dogs even have a moral compass?

And so Danny just accepts the fact that Ace isn’t going anywhere and becomes his reluctant sidekick/dedicated medium. He leans into the whole thing, dressing up in a mix of traditional magic-user attire and accessories that pay homage to the ghost dog.

He becomes somewhat well known. The psychopomp detective following around the shadowy figure of a German Shepard? That’s unusual! That’s weird! I mean, it’s not the weirdest thing in Gotham, sure, but he’s a new vigilante and he’s got a ghost dog that people can only see when it’s around him. Someone’s gonna notice.

Damian, as Robin, is the first to reach out to him.

Ace doesn’t know Damian but he does know a Robin, and while this isn’t his Robin, he’s still friendlier than usual. Danny’s panicking because oh god the bats are here and also is this kid gonna steal my ghost dog, Damian is absolutely delighted by Ace, and Ace is just happy to see a Robin again.

Damian decides that the psychopomp isn’t a danger to anyone, and there’s no reason to put this encounter into his reports, really, and perhaps Danny can help with some of his cases in the future.

Danny is sweating bullets because Damian basically tells him that he’ll keep him secret as long as he gets to play with Ace. Ace is happy that he’s finally getting some bat affiliated crime-fighting assistance.

And so, Danny is now both Ace AND Damian’s reluctant assistant. At least whenever he’s in trouble, he can always call a middle schooler to help him.

(Is Robin even in school? He’s out patrolling damn near every night, and he stays out late as hell. Does he have a bedtime? He should.)

Eventually it gets to the point where Damian is going over to Danny’s house. When he first sees it, he has a damn bitch you live like this moment, to which Danny responds that not everyone has the money to afford a nice place. Damian counters that he could at least take the time to clean up, and Danny replies that he’s working, going to school, and being a vigilante assistant to a ghost dog, something’s got to give.

Danny nearly has a heart attack when he checks his bank account the next day and sees that someone transferred him 10,000 dollars.

And so they get into a routine. Danny and Damian fight crime with Ace at night, and occasionally Damian stops by during the day to play with Ace and have Danny help with his homework.

(Damian is smart enough to do it on his own, but some of the instructions are written incredibly confusingly, and he would never admit to needing help to his family. Danny is just glad that the kid is in school and cares about his education, blissfully unaware that he’s basically emotionally adopted him.)

Damian is used to being in Danny’s company.

Eventually, when going over a case with the family, Damian absentmindedly remarks that he’ll have to ask Danny about some of the clues that they might be missing. Nightwing asks who he means and Damian makes a face like he just swallowed a lemon.

Cue shitstorm.

Who is “Danny?” Why is Damian willing to ask for help from anyone, much less someone outside of the family? Does he know who Damian is? Has Damian been compromised? What the hell is going on?

Damian now has to explain that Danny is the psychopomp with the ghost dog who he might have met hunted down while on patrol and conveniently not mentioned, but he’s not a bad person, really, and he lets him play with Ace, and he’s been quite helpful on certain cases due to his ability to talk to ghosts.

Bruce insists that the family meet Danny. Damian, hoping that he won’t just skip town the second he hears the news, relents.

Danny is surprisingly eager to meet the bats, considering his earlier fears.

Damian, blissfully unaware of what’s coming, sets a time and place to meet.

Once everyone is there, he gives Bruce the earful of a lifetime.

Robin is in middle school! Danny knows that there’s no way to stop the boy from going on patrol, but you could at least shift his schedule so he gets enough sleep on school nights! Does the Bat even know where he is half the time?! (No) And why isn’t he comfortable asking his family for help with both cases and homework? Did they ever even notice how much time he was spending at Danny’s house? If Danny was a bad person, he could have seriously hurt the poor boy! Shame on you!

Nightwing is mortified that Damian didn’t trust him enough to tell him about any of this. Red Hood is laughing his ass off, because yeah Danny is making good points but he’s also chewing out the literal Batman. Tim is recording the whole thing. Steph is delighted by the absolute gall of this Danger Twink™️, and already planning to add him to several groupchats. Damian is more embarrassed than he’s ever been in his entire life.

You, he points to Nightwing, did your academic life feel supported when you were a Robin? Nightwing is too stunned to speak. Red Hood, eternal shit-stirrer, says that oh, we all prioritized patrol over our education, that’s just how it is. Red Robin actually dropped out of high school to avoid distractions, did you know that?

Danny honest-to-god shrieks at this.

He finishes his angry rant and leaves, everyone too stunned to stop him.

And as it turns out, Tim wasn’t the only person recording the whole thing.

The entire internet is blowing up with Psychopomp The Danger Twink™️’s rant. People are taking sides. Things are getting messy. Red Hood literally admitting on-camera to previously being a Robin is somehow not the main focus here.

Eventually someone connects some dots from the video, as well as stories circling the internet about the psychopomp. A ghost dog named Ace, who is the literal only reason that the psychopomp is fighting crime at all, which seems incredibly fond of Nightwing and Robin.

A crime-fighting dog who wants constant attention from both the current and original Robin.

Oh my god, Ace the Bat-hound died and became a crime-fighting ghost.

And, somehow, that’s still not the strangest thing going on in Gotham.

#dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp prompt #literally Ace is too good a boy to pass on #this veered wildly into ‘Danny emotionally adopts Damian’ but really it’s what he deserves #sometimes family is an ex child assassin an undead college student and a ghost dog #also Danny gives literally no shits during investigations because he Cannot Die #he will just casually take 40 bullets to the chest like it’s nothing #if he encounters a rogue he will beat the everloving hell out of them and then give them Jazz’s card #(she’s doing confidential therapy for vigilantes and rogues) #except for the ones who are too far gone. like the joker #he’s a bitch and Danny hates him #if given the opportunity Danny would gladly kill him but Clockwork says he’s not allowed to do that #so he settles with beating the hell out of him and then covering all his stuff in glue #and of course alerting the authorities

[matan4il]

Ahead of Eurovision 2024

I was listening to Eden Golan's song, Hurricane.

At first, it didn't seem to me like it stands out. I'm one of the people who prefers my Eurovision song less on the power ballad side of things, so this being in that genre...

But then I found myself haunted by the lyrics. By specific lines. Singing them to myself quietly, over and over again. I had to listen to the song again.

And it got to me, it really did, I haven't stopped listening to or singing it since, so I guess I needed to share a bit.

There's more than one hint that this is a song about mourning and survival. Lines like, "someone stole the moon tonight, took my light" can be interpreted in more than one way. But they become less ambiguous when combined with ones like, "holding on in this mysterious ride," when the mysterious ride we're all on is life itself. It makes it clearer that this isn't just a break up song. Then it becomes even more explicit with, "we shall pass, but love will never die."

The imagery in the videoclip is also telling, that ending when Eden is looking up, much like many do when talking to or thinking about a loved one that we have lost.

But the line that gets to me the most, the first one that took over my brain? "I'm still broken from this hurricane."

We all get what this song is about, in the wake of what happened here in October 2023, and since. And I am broken. So many Jews and Israelis are. As one survivor said (his words have haunted me first, then I heard them echoed in this song): "We are broken, but strong." That's exactly what the song is about, deeply feeling the pain and the tragedy, the loss, this impossible to accept grief, and still trying to find a way to live with it, to survive not just the horrors of a massacre, but the trauma that follows it as well.

The other line that affects me the most is directly related to this, "baby, promise me you'll hold me again." Because I have spent the last 5 months watching the news, seeing the funerals, and hearing people breaking down, as they say a variation of this to their loved ones, who are gone. Asking for a promise that can't be made, or fulfilled, and knowing that it can't, even as the request is being uttered. I hear their voices breaking around their words, whenever I listen to or sing this line.

The videoclip is also infused with imagery that's related to the massacre of over 360 people at the Nova music festival (and the kidnapping of 40 more from that scene), which is in a way very apt for music lovers. The images show dancers in what looks a lot like a nature party, just like Nova, and since the massacre happened when the music festival was meant to reach its peak, a long night of music and dancing climaxing around sunrise, that's exactly what we see, a move from the "moon light" throughout most of the videoclip, to the "sunrise" at the end.

But in the case of this "sunrise," Eden can smile, she can find comfort, she can sing a few words in Hebrew that reflect hope, about that little light that's left even when the moon's been stolen.

She's bringing the song to a beautiful, emotional closure.

Obviously, it can't be ignored that this is a re-write. The original song (which was called October Rain) was disqualified as "political."

You can read the original lyrics here. They're almost identical. I heard an interview with the song writers, who said they weren't even told what got their song disqualified, so they had to guess what the Eurovision Broadcasting Union had in mind, when they called an expression of our pain, and our strength at the face of that, "political."

I admit, I find it very hard to accept this disqualification. It's not like there isn't precendent for countries at the Eurovision expressing pain (including the kind originating from political circumstances) through their songs.

If you take the wildly popular Ukraine 2007 entry, the singer was quite obviously singing "Russia goodbye," with allusions to Russian interference in Ukrainian elections while wearing outfits reminiscent of Soviet uniforms. And that wasn't called political, because "Russia goodbye" was changed into gibberish that still sounds like it (and in recent performances, it was blatantly sang like that).

If you take the much talked about Croatia 2023 entry, it was about the Russian invasion of Ukraine in 2022, and also criticized Belarus' tyrant kissing Russia's tyrant's ass, by referencing the tractor that Lukashenko bought for Putin, while the band members played with military weapons and uniforms on stage. And that wasn't disqualified for being political.

If you take the Ukraine 2016 entry, that was explicitly singing about their pain over what the Russians did to the Tatar population in Crimea in 1944, with clear allusions to what Russians did when they invaded Ukraine's Crimean peninsula in 2014. And that wasn't called "political" either.

Even this year, we have the entry from The Netherlands being political, with both the lyrics and videoclip referencing the borderless Europe (which IS a political issue, as Brexit, if nothing else, had made clear). I've seen people pointing out online that the song isn't political, because the whole borderless Europe thing is a metaphor for the singer's grief for his father/parents. I have no problem with that reading, but let's acknowledge that there could have been many metaphors for that, and he chose a political one.

So why is Jewish pain treated differently? Why is our pain labeled "political," when the metaphors for it in the songs aren't that, there are no specific political mentions of people or organizations in the song (unlike the Georgia 2009 entry, which slipped Putin's name into the song's title) in either version, when there are no political statements being made in the song, there's just expressing our pain, and trying to find a way to cope with it?

This WAS the biggest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust, and expecting Jews not to write about it, not to sing about it, not to try to process it through art... Our pain is not political. It's human. When Ukraine won in 2022 with a song that wasn't originally political, but became one, as it was adopted by Ukrainians suffering from a war that they did not choose, but had to fight, singing it wherever they were displaced (I remember the winners, Kalush Orchestra, coming to Israel to sing it for and with Ukrainian refugees who found shelter here), I thought it was quite obvious, even for people who don't like politics at Eurovision, why the song won, and why everyone overlooked the fact that it was only partly based on its qualities as a Eurovision song. I don't expect Israel to win, I very much expect that, even as Israelis embrace this song about our pain during a war, that we didn't choose, but have to fight, and while hundreds of thousands of us are still displaced, we will get a lot of hatred, instead of understanding and sympathy. But I still have to speak up. I still have to point out that treating Israeli or Jewish pain differently is wrong.

(as a footnote, I wanna get ahead of the usual, "Why is Israel allowed to participate in Eurovision to begin with? It's not in Europe!" comments, while I haven't come across the same ritual for certain other Eurovision participants, like North African Morocco, just-as-Asian-as-Israel Lebanon, transcontinental {despite some of these countries only being considered European culturally, while geographically speaking, they're fully Asian} Georgia, Russia, Cyprus, Turkey, Azerbaijan and Armenia, and the one that's a continent all on its own, Australia. They all have the right to participate, because they all belong to the European Broadcasting Union. Just like Israel)

#israel #eurovision #esc #esc 2024 #esc 24 #antisemitism #israeli #israel news #israel under attack #israel under fire #anti terrorism #antisemitic #antisemites #jews #jew #judaism #jumblr #frumblr #jewish #eurovision 2024

[chilschuck]

AAAA i love your blog!! could i pls request a post-canon scenario where chilchuck finally admits his feelings for reader now that they’re not co-workers anymore >_< (assuming reader joined the laios party during the story)

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹ WAAAAH ANON i’m so happy you love my stuff!! i LOVEDDD writing this for you, and i have another request in my askbox that’s similar that i’m going to do as well! this was super fun, and i found myself enjoying this idea and coming up with things i could do with it!!! i hope you enjoy!!! <333

— SHELTER: chilchuck x gn!reader.

꒰ warnings: ꒱ none, sfw fluff!! takes place post-canon.

꒰ wc: ꒱ 1745 (got carried away again…)

✦ i’m scared to reread this, but right now I’m actually happy with it!! i hope you are too!! <333 i tried my best to keep spoilers to a minimum, and to make this fun to read!! also, the title comes from the song shelter by ray lamontagne, which i listened to while writing it. i hope you enjoy!!!

With your party’s adventure finally over, you had decided to try and finally settle down as much as you could. With everyone finding their own new place in life, you did your best to find one too.

You couldn’t deny it had been rather lonely lately. Your own home was empty, a small place you had tried your best to make feel cozy. With your old party members living their own lives, you hoped you could live yours. But evidently, no matter how hard you tried, your mind always went back to him.

It was a bittersweet feeling; imagining him finally living healthily, working on helping others, and even maybe starting up that shop he talked about wanting. It wasn’t like you never saw him, but going on with every day life without him felt… mundane.

Chilchuck was working on himself, reconnecting with his family, and building the future he had hoped for. That alone helped you feel as much at peace as possible. Your feelings, to you, were not nearly as important as his own happiness. So here you waited, counting down the days you’d get to see him again. Maybe he’d be happy to see you too.

Little did you know, Chilchuck was devastatingly nervous. Buttoning up his shirt with shaky fingers, he tried his best to look as decent as he possibly could. It was the final thing he felt he needed to move on, and he wasn’t going to let himself ruin it. Not this, he told himself. There were some things he refused to let slip through his fingers, and one of them were his feelings he had developed for you.

Through it all, you had been by his side. An integral part of the party, you had built him up when he needed it most. Looking past all the mistakes, all the cynicism he liked to cloud himself with, you proved how much you simply cared. Not only for him, but for everyone. Chilchuck had fallen in love with you, and for once, he didn’t want to push those feelings down.

He had bought the flowers he knew you liked, tied with a sweet ribbon that he felt maybe was a bit too much. In fact, maybe all of this was a bit too much, but he hoped it’d work. Chilchuck even went to talk to Marcille about it all, a sign in his own mind that he was more smitten than he had been in years. Not to mention that he had, in fact, reconnected with his ex-wife, and had gained the closure he needed to take this big of a step. There was nothing holding him back now, and he could only hope the words of encouragement he was given would hold true.

Chilchuck had visited your home before, always noting just how comfortable he felt there. You were always happy to have guests lately, and he felt himself praying that this would be the case this time, too. Fist raised in front of your door, he took a deep breath before rapping it against the wood.

The knock came as a surprise, but not as surprising as the person who was behind it. Your eyes widened, his name leaving your lips in delight. “Chilchuck, hello!” It was slightly out of breath from the sheer excitement you had to try and suppress at seeing him here in front of you. Moving to the side, you motioned him in. “Do you… Want to come in?”

One hand behind his back still, trying his best to not snap the stems of the delicate flowers between his fingers, he nodded. “Yeah, sorry for the sudden visit.”

Shaking your head, you walked inside to prepare him something to drink. “Not at all! You know me… I could never say no to seeing you.”

It felt like another of Cupid’s arrows shot him through the chest. Maybe he shouldn’t look too deeply into your words, at least not yet. Following you inside, Chilchuck found himself trying his best to find anything to look at of interest. The plants on your shelves, the well loved books on the table, the occasional trinket you had decided you couldn’t live without… Everything that made it feel so much like you.

While you fiddled around in your small kitchen, Chilchuck cleared his throat. His mouth felt dry, and to try and slow down the thoughts rushing through his head, he spoke up again. “You know… You’ve done a great job with this place. I remember when you bought it.”

You couldn’t help but smile, thinking back fondly of how proud you were. Preparing you both glasses of wine, you turned your attention to him for a moment. “That means a lot, thank you. How have things been with the guild?”

Chilchuck hummed, eyes studying a particular painting on your wall. “Good… Pretty much the usual. Things are going pretty well. What about you, anything interesting since we last saw each other?”

Other than your constant war on your feelings for the half-foot, you’ve been trying new hobbies in order to distract yourself. As you turned to hand him the glass, you racked your brain for something to say. Giving him a sheepish smile, you shook your head. “Not particularly. Here, it’s one you like. Let’s go sit, yeah?”

He held your gaze for a moment, the flowers in his hand a constant reminder of what he was here for. Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth to speak. “Yeah. But first, I have something to give you…”

Finally taking the hand from behind his back, he steeled himself as much as he could before holding them out to you. Quickly setting the glasses down, you let out a sound of surprise. Your hands reached out for them, as delicate as possible.

Chilchuck felt like his face was a bit too hot for something as simple as this, but it’s been such a long time since he’s had to really woo anyone. How the hell did he manage to do this all those years ago? Scratching the back of his head, he broke the silence between the two of you.

“They’re your favorites, right? I happened to see ‘em and thought you’d be happy.”

Although Chilchuck felt like he was doing a piss poor job at this, you felt like you were swooning all over again. You know how much he used actions as a love language, yet could you even call it that in this situation? Friends did nice things for each other, yet…

His brows were furrowed in determination, the tips of his ears rosy and suddenly you felt like maybe there was something there. Your gaze fell to the buds in your hands, freshly picked and done so with care. The smile that made its way on your features was unabashed.

“Yes, yes they’re my favorites… I can’t believe you remembered that. Let me go get something to put them in. Thank you so much, Chil.”

It was worth it just to see you smile like that. Even if he felt a little ridiculous at the action, it paid off when you held the vase proudly in your hands. “I’m going to put them on my desk. I love them…” You spoke softly, your own cheeks turning that shade of pink he loved so much. For a few moments, it became silent again, his brain scrambling for what to say next.

“You asked me about my plans after our adventure was over. There… was something I wasn’t honest about. And I want to be honest about it now.”

Chilchuck made sure to correctly word everything he needed to say. Taking time in between his sentences, his gaze returned to yours. There was something there that you had only hoped you’d seen in the past; a taste of desire.

“I want to be there for you. I know we’re no longer coworkers, so…” The words fell silent, you remaining patient through his pauses. Softly, you gave a gentle phrase of reassurance. “You’re already there for me, I know that, Chil—”

Raising a hand, he silenced you. Contemplation took over his features, that worry line between his brows that you always found endearing still making an appearance. You waited for him to elaborate.

“…As more than friends.”

Your heart stopped. Did you hear him correctly? Certainly you did, your voice having gotten stuck in your throat as you tried to wrap your head around the weight those words carried. Was he saying that, this whole time, you’ve been a goal all along? Hearing your name, you snapped your attention back to him.

“I want to be more honest with how I feel. I know how I used to be, and I’m working towards fixing it.” His deep brown eyes held a small glimmer of hope, of vulnerability. Chilchuck was trying, and he was trying for you.

Feeling as if the wind was knocked out of your lungs, you asked shakily, “You want…?”

He smiled, a small etch in his features. Huffing, Chilchuck fiddled with the collar of his shirt. “You’re really gonna make me spell it out for you? I… Have feelings for you. If you don’t feel the same I get it, don’t—“

Before he could finish his sentence, you hurriedly set the flowers down before just about tackling him. The shock of hearing him say exactly what you’d been wishing for so long melted into a need to relay exactly how you felt. Chilchuck grunted at the impact, nearly toppling over.

“Of course I feel the same! You think I’d put up with your grumpy ass for this long if I didn’t?” You couldn’t help the teasing words that followed, pulling away from him to grin widely at him. “Can I kiss you?”

Your excitement caught him even more off guard, eyes widening at your question. “Sorry, that was probably a bit too much—“

Instead of giving you a verbal answer, Chilchuck tugged you to his lips in a desperate attempt to get you to just shut up and do it. You happily obliged, only pulling away to ask one more question. “How long?”

Chilchuck panted, confusion evident on his features. “What?”

“How long have you felt this way?” Your curiosity was getting the better of you, wondering just how long you two had managed to dance around each other like this. Chilchuck sighed, giving the only answer he could think to say:

“Too long.”

— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3

#⟡ lilia writes! 🌿 #୨ chilchuck my beloved ୧ #OOUGHHHH IS THIS. ANYTHING. #hoping you like it!!!! as i loved writing it!!!! #worried it doesn’t flow right but…. #posts it and runs #dunmeshi x reader #delicious in dungeon x reader #dungeon meshi x reader #chilchuck x reader #chilchuck tims x reader

[working-dreamer]

The Person Within: An Analysis Of Professor Layton's Hidden Character Development

Spoilers for practically all of the Layton games!

Hershel Layton as a character is sometimes criticized outside of the fandom for having no personality other than his gentlemanly nature and taking the concept of enjoying puzzles to the extreme.

While I think this criticism shows a blatant misunderstanding to his character, I do think from a different angle that perspective makes Professor Layton more interesting.

Think about it. Most of his personality is taken from the tragedy of those around him. Randall was the one who was originally obsessed with archaeology and puzzles. Claire was the one who originally perceived Hershel as a gentleman (thus giving him the idea.) We don’t really see Layton take these aspects of his personality onto himself until tragedy strikes and these people are taken away from his life.

In the case of Randall's death, Hershel blamed himself for surviving and moved out of town because of his self-loathing and guilt. And when Claire disappeared Layton paused his studies for an unknown amount of time trying to find out what happened until he was beaten into a coma by a group of people associated with her death.

And yet instead of grieving like you’d normally expect from a person who lost his best friend and girlfriend, he internalized their interests and aspects of their personalities into himself. He wears their passions and dreams as his own to remember them. In a way, he’s always reminding himself that he couldn’t save them.

However one might wonder how Layton really feels about those things outside of his previous losses. Does Layton even enjoy archeology and puzzles? Or is it something he has grown to accept in his life simply because he is living out Randall’s dream? Does he feel like he has a choice in the matter?

I can easily imagine Layton having doubts deep within himself: Randall didn’t get to live and it’s my fault. His dreams should live on. I don’t deserve anything else.

Same with Claire. She saw him as a gentleman but he certainly didn’t feel like one after her disappearance if his memory of events is to be taken seriously. How long did it take for him to turn into the perfect gentleman? Especially if it's just a painful reminder of her loss?

It’s probably after waking up from his coma that he starts to really embrace the idea that he has to be the perfect gentleman because he knows he can never get her back. So all he can do is embrace what she thought of him before she died. So with all of this in mind is Layton’s gentlemanly persona genuine to who he is as a person? Or is it just a persona created in order to keep her memory alive?

Layton has kept the shadows of his lost loved ones close to his heart for years and probably would have always done so had he never gotten any closure. However, when Randall turned out to be alive Layton now has the opportunity to let go of that guilt. Claire came back in the future momentarily and Layton got to say goodbye. He no longer needs to keep their personal traits as his own.

So why does he still embody Randall's passion for archeology and puzzles and Claire's perspective that he's the perfect gentleman?

I think it's because Layton doesn't know who he is without these borrowed parts of his personality. Without those aspects that he adopted into himself… who is Hershel Layton? Deep down he is someone who has silently mourned his loved ones and repressed those emotions. And yet most of his life has been embodying said grief. It makes me wonder if Layton would ever look deep within himself and realize that he doesn’t have anything to claim as his own. His entire personality revolves around past guilt and trauma from people he loved and lost.

Shoot even his name isn’t his own! Hershel Layton was actually the name belonging to his brother and in a moment of sacrifice switched names so our Layton could be adopted. So our Layton loses the only family member he has left without even knowing who that is for the majority of his life!

So we have a man who feels guilt and remorse for the deaths of his best friend and his girlfriend so he doesn’t allow himself to develop his own interests and personality because he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be his own person. It's even implied that he believed for a time that he didn't deserve to be the one who survived the events that killed his best friend and girlfriend. And then adding to the fact that he never knew his real family so he most likely felt a different kind of loss by not knowing where he came from. All and all we find a man that feels alone and tries to make it right by embodying the traits of those he cared about.

We don’t get to see Layton develop his thoughts on all of this but we do see an interesting development later on. I’d like to think that Layton slowly began to heal after his adventures thanks to adopting Katrielle in the anime.

This is because, for the first time in Layton’s life, he had a family to look after. Someone who doesn't need a mystery-solving archeologist or a perfect gentleman detective. Someone who doesn't need the grand "Professor Layton." This little girl just needs someone to be her father and, while he tries his best, he doesn't really know how to do that.

Sure he had a familial relationship with Luke and Flora, but he never called himself their father. I don’t think he allowed himself that privilege because of all the self-loathing he had been dealing with before. When he adopts Kat it feels like it’s the first time we see Layton truly allowing himself to be a father figure. And yet he is still uncertain about if he should be the one in this role.

Layton feels like his adopted daughter should know where she came from (something he didn’t get to have) before he can start thinking of himself as a father. He’s scared that if he gets attached then it'll hurt worse when she eventually returns to her own family should she decide that is her wish. But if he finds her family first then he doesn’t have the go through that heartache. He wants to find them first so she can make an informed decision.

And he says this with the logic that he always had as “Professor Layton” with that calm and collected smile. Notice that he says "I want to solve this puzzle so that we can become a true family." He doesn't say "so that we will become a true family." It’s almost as if he is going to let Kat decide if she wants to stay with him or go back to her real parents and that choice will be up to her. However, it's somewhat implied that he already thinks that she would naturally choose her real parents if she had the opportunity.

Despite his wishes to be her father, he still seems to be internally preparing himself to say goodbye (hence why he disappeared for so long in the first place.) He just doesn’t want to get too close to another person only to lose them and suffer alone again.

It makes sense why he is distancing himself, but he’ll still solve the mystery. It's what “Professor Layton” would do and he’ll have to accept whatever happens once Kat learns the truth. He doubts that she would still see him as her dad if she could be with her real parents. He doesn't even know himself outside of the role of "Professor Layton" so how can he be a true father to her? She'll go away with her real family eventually anyway. Why would anyone choose him?

And yet when he sees her again Layton is surprised when she immediately cries out for him. She still calls him papa. She wants him to be her papa.

In a public display of overwhelming emotion, we see Layton openly weep for the first time. He is so overcome by these emotions and for once doesn't repress them. He's just so happy to see his daughter again (to truly call Kat his daughter again) and allows himself to fully express those feelings for perhaps the first time in decades.

If Layton from the original game trilogy saw himself like this he would have been mortified by this “un-gentlemanly” behavior. His mindset back then was that a gentleman never cries because he has trouble coming to terms with his emotions. He even chastised Luke in Unwound Future because “a gentleman never makes a scene in public.”

However, he was never a gentleman for himself. It was always for holding onto the guilt of losing his loved ones while trying to honor their memories at the same time. But he doesn’t have to hold himself to those impossible standards anymore. He no longer blames himself for their deaths, he found closure, and now he has found himself in a family who chooses to love him not because of those attributes “Professor Layton” embodied, but because she loves him for the person hidden under that persona. And that is enough for Layton to openly weep as he embraces his child.

I believe Kat's words here helped Layton more than she'll ever know.

So who is Hershel Layton if he’s not a gentleman or a fan of archeology?

The solution to that puzzle is really quite simple.

He is a caring person. And that’s all he ever needs to be.

#professor layton #professor hershel layton #hershel layton #layton #luke triton #flora layton #jean descole #claire foley #randall ascot #pl #katrielle layton #kat layton #lmj #miracle mask #unwound future #azran legacy #plvsaa #plvspw #professor layton vs phoenix wright #pl vs pw #pl vs aa #phoenix wright #professor layton analysis #layton anime #ace attorney #professor layton vs phoenix wright ace attorney #and THAT is what happens when I watch Puss and Boots the Last Wish #Pus' struggle with keeping up with the legend sounds eerily similar to how Layton carried himself after he lost his friends over the years #layton is a deep character doggone it

[dycefic]

The Strange Case Of The Amateur Detective

At some point, surely someone must notice the pattern... right? Note: Beginning slightly edited for clarity.

##

It took a while, but I’ve convinced Maggie to tell me when she goes out of town. I’ll feel better, I say, if I know for sure where she is when a body makes the news.

Which is true, of course. The sheer frequency with which that little lunatic does it keeps me awake at nights. But it also enables me to take certain precautions.

Like this one.

“Hello, Branford County Police Station, Constable Ford speaking.”

“Hello, Constable Ford, this is Detective Inspector Winsbury. I’m going to need to speak to whoever is in charge there about a possible murder.”

As usual, there was some back and forth at that point, but eventually I got through to an Inspector. “What do you mean, a possible murder?!” he asked, irritated.

“Just what I said. Tell me, Inspector, have you ever had dealings with an amateur detective? The real thing, I mean. The genuine Carrion Crow.”

His tone went from hostile to guarded. “I’ve… heard some things. Never met one.”

“You’re about to. Mine’s visiting Branford, ostensibly to see an old school friend, and I wouldn’t bet you the price of a beer that she’s not going to show up to report a murder within a few days.”

“You can’t possibly - “

“Her count’s at fourteen, to my certain knowledge.”

“And you’re sure she’s not just a very clever serial killer?”

They usually ask that. It’s understandable, if a bit annoying. “Not only have I been physically with her at the time three of the murders were committed, two were committed before she was born. That’d be pretty damned clever, don’t you think?”

“Oh, hell.”

“Yes. If you’ve got any old missing persons cases, or unsolved murders, get the files out and refresh your memory. I’d go back at least fifty years, if I were you. Focus on anything mysterious or that got covered up.”

“She’s likely to find a fifty-year-old corpse?!”

“I was standing right there when she found a hundred-and-nine year old set of remains in the walls of an old church she was helping to renovate, less than five minutes into the renovations.”

He let out a heartfelt groan. “Oh no.”

“It’s not so bad,” I said encouragingly. “Maggie’s better than a cadaver dog for finding remains, although even she doesn’t know how she does it, and even better at putting together evidence. She’s got a knack for seeing patterns where nobody else does. Whatever case she turns up, she’ll help you solve it within… oh, probably a few days, a week at most.”

“Really?” The Inspector sounded like he was wavering between skepticism and hope. “I’ve heard stories about Carrion Crows and their closure rate, but I can’t say I ever believed them.”

“Believe them. The longest it’s ever taken her was a month, and that was because she spent two weeks in hospital in the middle of it, and there was a delay on some of the evidence.” I leaned back in my chair, putting my feet up on my desk. “She’s pretty cooperative, as a rule. Not one of those ones who wants to beat the police - she’ll work with you if you let her. If you don’t, she’ll solve it anyway and make you look like a real chump, so let her. Stay on her, though, because she’s got a bit of an impulse control problem when she’s on a scent.”

“She’s likely to run into danger?”

“Mmm, no, not often - she’s just turned fifty, she’s slowing down a bit - but keeping her from touching the evidence can be a problem. She knows not to, but sometimes in the heat of the moment she forgets.”

“Ah. Yes, I see.”

“If you’ve got any strapping young lads or lasses who show some promise, assign one to her. She’s usually pretty nice to anyone under thirty if they make a mistake, but she gets snippy at someone she thinks is old enough to know better. They’ll learn a lot.”

“And she won’t ditch them?”

“Almost never if they’re polite, especially if you ask her to keep an eye on them. Just make sure they don’t argue with her too much, or scoff at her deductions, or she will absolutely ditch them and they will never know how she did it. Even I don’t know, and we’ve been working together for years.”

“I see.” He sighed, and the faint rasping was probably a hand rubbing over his chin. “A real Carrion Crow. Does she know… why?”

“What made her Death’s favourite girl? No. They usually don’t. I know there’s always stories about the murder of a loved one setting them on the path, but that’s actually pretty rare.” I’d done a lot of research, after I realized what Maggie was. “Most Carrion Crows have no idea why they start finding bodies. There’s no consistent trigger for it.”

“No kind of pattern at all?”

“Well, no, I didn’t say that. There’s no consistency about trigger events, but Carrion Crows themselves do tend to conform to a certain type. They’re usually very detail-oriented, and good at analyzing patterns. They’re always curious. If presented with half a story, they can’t resist finding the other half. They’re usually self-employed, or retired on a moderate income, or in a job that allows them a lot of snooping time, like a reporter or researcher.”

“That makes sense,” he said slowly. “The… gift, or whatever it is, comes to people who have the time and ability to use it.”

“Almost invariably.” I examined the scuffed toe of one of my boots. “And they care about people. They’re compassionate. I’ve never encountered or heard of a real Carrion Crow who was selfish.”

“Carrion Crows are always good people?” Now he just sounded confused.

“That depends on your definition of good. Criminals have been Crows in the past. One of the earliest confirmed cases of a Carrion Crow was a young pickpocket in London in the 1820s. But they’re people who care about other people. It’s one of the reasons they find out so much more than we do - people under pressure respond to kindness and compassion. It makes them want to confide.”

“Ahhhh.” He sounded enlightened. “That I understand. I have a sergeant like that. Got a face like a gargoyle, but everyone loves him because he’s just… kind, to everyone. People tell him all sorts of things.”

“Maybe don’t pair him up with Maggie, or they might achieve some sort of critical mass. A tea-party could spontaneously form around them.” I laughed at that mental image. “Anyway, if a tiny little middle-aged lady with big brown eyes and a horrible cardigan shows up and tells you there’s been a murder, take her seriously.”

“Will do. Thanks for the warning.”

I left my name and number, in case they needed more help, then hung up.

Nobody knows what causes a person to become a Carrion Crow. They’re not common, and you can spend a whole career in law enforcement without meeting one. But sometimes, for reasons nobody’s ever been able to explain, a hitherto perfectly ordinary person turns into a magnet for murder. It’s as if Death itself just taps them on the shoulder and says ‘you’. As if Death itself wants murders to be solved, the lost dead found, the unknown dead named, and their killers brought to justice.

Who knows? Maybe it does. All I know is, they need a close eye kept on them. A lot of Crows wind up murdered themselves, by someone desperate not to be caught. That’s why I call ahead every time Maggie leaves town. Why I’ll even follow her, if I can’t get the local police to listen to me.

Maggie cares about people, living and dead. And I care about Maggie. Anyone trying to kill her is going to have to get past me.

#original fiction #short story #surely in a universe in which this can happen #it doesn't only happen once #and sooner or later #people will notice

[dreamweaversfavsandthoughs]

Rick and Morty Season 7 Episode 1 Favs and Thoughts

(and maybe a small rant)

Rick and Morty season 7 has officially begun and this is the first time on this blog I plan on sharing some of my favs (and maybe some not favs) and my thoughts about each episode.

This will NOT be spoiler-free so turn back now if you haven’t watched the episode yet. If you have watched the episode or don’t care if you run across spoilers then please proceed.

My Favs:

The new voice actors!

Ian Cardoni and Harry Belden as Rick and Morty, respectively. I thought the actors did an amazing job at capturing the characters, even though we didn’t hear much from Belden this episode. I was looking them up on IMDB and some of their previous work included being an announcer for Wrestlemania, acting in a really crappy looking Disney Channel Christmas movie, and one of the better gigs, playing a bit part on Joe Pera Talks With You. And now they’re the stars of Rick and Morty. Talk about a big break.

Morty’ s snarky coffee comment and Rick’s sarcasm.

Morty is becoming more like his grandfather every season because that comment feels like something Rick would say. Also, I feel that in such a small scene the banter between Rick and Morty seems a bit richer with two different actors playing off each other as opposed to just having Roiland do the two voices. Hopefully we get some bigger scenes to really get a chance to hear them together.

BirdDaughter!

Ok. To be honest, I’m a little bummed that she was rescued off screen but I’m not going to let that ruin my enjoyment of the season. So she is home and she is an absolute teenage terror! BP took a dive into the deep end of the parenting pool with that one. Others have made this comment as well but I love her punk rock aesthetic that she’s got going on, ahold over from her days at Femme Fatale Training Camp. I hope Morty never meets her because I think he would be SMITTEN for approximately 10 seconds until she kicked his ass to another dimension (or she might be just as smitten by him and in that case I don’t think the multiverse could handle that relationship).

Ghost Robot

I thought it was really clever joke overall especially when Rick interrupts the download for “Business” so it’s unfinished. Get it huh huh get it. Hope he shows up later in the season.

The gangs all back!

I enjoyed the absolute silliness of Rick’s pitiful attempt at an intervention that turns into a drug and alcohol fueled bender that turns into an attempt to woo Amy back, a fight with Mr. PBH’s ex-wife’s new paramour ( who is a Predator hired to spy on her) and then coming to the realization that Amy has moved on and her and Poopy Jr. are in a much happier place, and because of that, Mr. PBH (or Wayne) can find closure in that and move on too.

The fade out pills and the Best Friend Burrito Box

I was giggling throughout the episode but I did love the fade out pill gag and Rick fading back in to explain the pill and give one to Mr. PBH then fading back out again. Also, I was so sad for Gene to get his Best Friend Burrito Box taken away! He wasn’t lying! He did have friends they just faded out without him.

My Not Favs:

Hugh Jackman.

I love the actor and this by no means pulled me out of the episode or ruined my enjoyment but I think the episode would have been stronger without him. Or, at least, have him actually secretly been a real wolverine. Not the superhero, Wolverine, but a wolverine that disguised himself as a human.

My Thoughts

(and my rant):

I think online discourse around film, television, and media has destroyed the ability to enjoy something that is just meant to be simple and silly and fun. If an episode of a season is not “mind-blowing” or “moves the narrative forward” it is immediately the worse thing ever. Was this the best episode of Rick and Morty? No. Was it the worse? No. Was it mind-blowing? No, but most Rick and Morty episodes aren’t and I realize I just said something sacrilegious. Was it deeply philosophical? Again no, but most Rick and Morty episodes aren’t. Again I’m being blasphemous in some circles of the fandom. Was it funny? I thought so but your mileage may vary.

Overall, I found it on the same level of episodes like the one were Morty impregnates a sex bot, 2nd interdimensional cable, Tiny Rick, or the dinosaur episode from last season. So I was really surprised at such a strong negative reaction to an episode that I thought was perfectly fine. I feel that the reaction was completely unwarranted and out of proportion with the episode we got. I’ll caveat it with most of the negative reaction being on Reddit ( which I realize is Reddit and Reddit will do what it will do). A vast majority of critic reviews I read were pretty positive and so has the discourse on Tumblr for the most part. I’m sure some of it is coming from Justin dickriders pissed he face actually consequences for his actions, but not all of it.

I felt the new episode would have fit very comfortably in with season 6 ( which I felt was a great season). Maybe it wasn’t to the level as other premiers but I had fun watching it. I love me a deep lore episode or a mind-bending sci-fi, but I also appreciate an episode that suppose to just be fun and silly and relaxed with a little bit of heart. I enjoy seeing Rick try to help his friend out of a rut and I’m glad there is some closure on Mr. PBH’s arc. And it was good to see the friends reunite. Squanchy’s alive, Birdperson is navigating fatherhood and we got to see a side of Rick we don’t see a lot. And if it’s any consolation to those who absolutely hated the episode, next week’s episode is supposedly a lot stronger.

I think it’s okay to criticize an episode but I did see one Redditor complain that he thought (and I feel comfortable assuming this person was a he) that Rick and Morty was now turning into…a sitcom. I swear I felt my soul leave my body. I wanted to say :

Honey, Dear, Sweetheart

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS!

I’m not actually mad I just thought that was hilarious and wanted to share that.

#rick and morty #rick and morty season 7 #rick and morty spoilers #rick sanchez #morty smith #summer smith #jerry smith #beth smith #mr. poopybutthole #birdperson #gearhead

[spicylove4ever]

Winter King's past with Betty.

This reveals pretty much what was the whole thing between this "Simon" and Betty. Or rather implies.

For a starter, this Simon most likely never got briefly cured by that anti-magic creature, therefore THIS:

... NEVER HAPPENED.

So, if Betty never made it to the future, then she stayed in the past, which means she:

Died. Eventually. In a span of 50 or a few more decades. We can only guess how that happened.

Maybe tried to help him find a solution.

Maybe ran from Simon or got separated from him since he was getting crazy.

Maybe stayed around to help him held his sanity for longer along with investigating a solution.

Maybe perished in the war while Simon survived in part thanks to the Crown.

In any case, that was one hell of a ride with lots of drama and angst.

What is sure is she stayed in the past and eventually died after having more doses of:

That sure made a number on their relationship.

So, since she died in the past and likely was dead by the time Simon met Marceline, who is more present in his life as Winter King (there is no Ice Betty, only the little Marceline) and considering their relation was kind of damaged by then and then Simon had watched her die and then had to move on in order to survive in the post-apocaliptic escenario he was on along with Marceline, his feelings about Betty are definitely different.

Which leads to a big difference with the other Simon.

Winter King Simon had a closure in regards of Betty and moved on, while Cured-from-the-Crown Simon had no closure because he never knew what happened so he made that portal to say his final words and that brought Betty with him.

Now, we can make all kinds of theories of what was like before she died, but, as stated before, that sure was one hell of a ride and most likely Winter King Simon is not confortable thinking of them as a couple. I mean, he does remember her, after all that time, but he's cold about her for whatever happened between them and thanks to that he does not pay tribute to her memory with a Ice Betty.

#winter king #ice king adventure time #fionna and cake winter king #simon petrikov #winter king and betty #simon and betty #betty grof #fionna and cake analysis #betty was left behind in that universe #that universe was messed up in more ways that we thought #theories

[timaeusterrored]

The first Christmas after the relic incident and Vax actually coherent enough to participate is the first time Kerry gets to talk to Mama Welles and Vik without the space of a hospital or Vax on death’s door.

Vik is really unsure about Kerry, despite his willingness to do anything for Vax. To take care of him in his time of need. Maybe he just saw Vax as something to do. A charity case. He’d get bored once Vax was back on his feet. Though it had been over a year since Vax had gotten down, and Kerry was still here.

Their first Christmas with Kerry in their lives had been bleak. Vax still wasn’t talking and was still unsure if he’d actually make it. But now, he had begged Kerry to actually meet his family. No doctors or threats of death. And Kerry couldn’t help but agree.

Mama Welles was more inclined to give Kerry a chance, watching them from her window as the ‘Diva Rockerboy’ got out of the drivers seat in a baggy sweatshirt and jeans, helping Vax out of the car and comfortable on his crutches. The rehabilitation of V had been rough, lots of arguing and tears and stubbornness. But Mama Welles saw her son’s smile when he leaned for a kiss, and the way Kerry held his face like it was the most precious thing he had.

The dinner was nice, Kerry was mostly quietly. The charm couldn’t be on here. And he may be 90 years old, but meeting the parents was still just as stressful as it had been 20 years ago. Especially with the amount of scandals and drama Kerry had been involved in. He wanted these two to trust him with their boy.

Vax was all smiles, his favorite soup, his parents, his partner. It was perfect. Until Vik called him into another room- leaving Kerry alone with Mama Welles.

Mothers were always scarier.

“You love him.” It wasn’t a question. It was stone cold fact. One that Kerry was terrified of. He knew he loved V… but damn he did not wanna admit that. It was supposed to be a fling. Closure for Johnny. Then he saw those sad eyes in the Arasaka shuttle and his brain shut down. All he knew was that he needed V back.

So Kerry nodded. There was no beating around that bush.

“Good. He loves you. I went to a speech therapy session with him and you were all he talked about. It wasn’t even about your music, it was about you. I know more about how your hair feels than I do my own son.” God that kid was such a sweetheart what the fuck?

“He’s a sweet person, Ms. Welles. I’d do anything for him.”

“Oh I know. You got into a legal battle with Arasaka for him. And somehow won?”

Never mess with the gays as Nancy always said.

“I couldn’t lose. I had to win, for him.”

Mama Welles smiled and nodded, then took Kerry’s hand. Despite him being way older than her, he felt a comfort he hadn’t felt since his own mother had last held him… when he was 10.

“I see it in your eyes. You have my blessing. If you ever, Y’know, decide to get married again.” She patted his hand and pulled away when the sound of V’s crutches came back into the house.

“‘M Fuckin’ knee is about to give out.” Vax swore, making Mama Welles look up.

“Language!”

“Sorry mama!” Kerry chuckled, shaking his head. He didn’t deserve Vax… no one did. Not a single soul in Night City deserved him.

But Kerry was selfish, and he’d hold onto Vax for as long as possibly.

“I might take you up on that offer.” Kerry whispered, squeezing her hand on the table before going back to his partner.

#sobs #cyberpunk 2077 #kerry eurodyne #cyberpunk kerry #kerry #cyberpunk v #male v #male v cyberpunk #vax eurodyne #kerry x v #kerry eurodyne x v #kerry x male v #cyberpunk Kerry x male v #male v x kerry #v x kerry #cyberpunk v x Kerry #otp: supernova #pre-marriage Vax and Kerry own my heart

[lavendertales]

Sweet lies: Chapter 4

pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

summary: you’re dead set on talking to Frankie at the upcoming dinner, but when he arrives with his fiancé, things get a bit messy.

word count: 4.7k

A/N: this is ANGSTY (but I will make it up to y’all from next chapter onwards 🤭)

Comments & reblogs are forever appreciated 💕

gif: @uuuhshiny​ 

series masterlist | AO3 

Your first two weeks on the new job could easily be deemed as successful.

You got the hang of it pretty quickly, making yourself right at home in that big office that you were given, getting to read and write exciting stories that, you hoped, would make a difference to the world. Sure you indulged into the occasional less-than-important topics, such as celebrities and whatnot, but it was only human nature after all.

And you knew a lot about being the talk of the people already, without even being famous.

You knew your friends were talking about you when you were there and when you weren’t. It was the kind of thing that was inevitable, almost impossible not to do. After all, it was a huge deal to have you back into their lives, seeing you at least once a week again instead of once per year, if lucky. And now, with things being ice cold between you and Frankie, rumors and conversations about you two were even a must for the others.

You haven’t asked for any information about Frankie—and you think he’s not asking about you. If he is, he shouldn’t. His sole focus should be his upcoming nuptials, not someone he used to go to high school with.

But unfortunately, you cannot seem to turn off your damn brain, or rather the part where all of your memories are contained. Feels like opening the box of Pandora, afraid of what might spill out against your will.

What you dread the most, however, is the moment that you will get invited to the wedding. Because you know that moment will come. It’s just a matter of when. You just need to control your emotions instead of allowing them to control you and politely decline with a decent excuse that won’t make you look like a bitch.

But then, another thought crosses randomly through your mind: maybe you won’t get invited at all.

That, of course, would be the ideal case. Never having to witness the man you’ve unconsciously given your heart to express eternal love to someone else is the best you can hope for under these circumstances. But, with everyone else being there, family, close friends and all, not even receiving an invitation also seems cruel. Like you were never that important to him.

After all, nothing ever happened between the two of you. All of your friends claimed that there was “definitely something there”, and yet, neither had voiced any potential interest. You were only good friends, waiting, yearning, begging for the other to say something, do something that would end all of that inner turmoil.

Nothing ever happened. Hence why you remain convinced, to this day, that it was a classic case of unrequited love. Just you and your silly little unrequited feelings, still craving, still waiting, even after all those years.

You wonder if it will ever stop.

You wonder if this is the reason why you haven’t actually gotten yourself involved more seriously with anyone else.

You wonder if, even on your deathbed someday, your mind will still wander to Frankie.

It’s too much. It has been so for most of your twenties, and now that you are back home, back to the place where it all began, maybe it’s a chance to get some closure instead. Nothing more, nothing less. Just closure.

“Hey, are you free this Thursday?” Santi’s voice coos through the other end of the line.

“As far as I know, yes. Why, what’s going on Thursday?”

“Just another dinner with the gang.”

“Okay. Count me in.”

“Uh—by the way—“

You sigh, slightly annoyed with the way everyone is walking on eggshells around you. You can’t stand this being the standard in your friendship.

“I do realize this means Frankie is coming, Santiago,” you almost scold him. “And that’s fine.”

“Just wanted to give you a heads up.”

“And I appreciate it, but I don’t want you or anyone else walking around on eggshells around me with this whole Frankie situation. I want us to be normal again, okay?”

“Okay.”

There’s a pause. “Do you think we can do normal?” he asks out of the blue.

“I sure hope so. I can’t spend the rest of my life like this, in doubt and watching what I say or what I do.”

“A lot would be fixed if you and Fish would just talk.”

Another pause, which you use to gather your composure. He is not wrong, and you’ve come to the same conclusion. It might be uncomfortable, but you need some sort of finalization.

“You’re right,” you tell him. “And that’s exactly what I want to do.”

You could practically hear Santiago frown over the phone. “Really?”

“Yes. For my sanity and for the sake of the group, Frankie and I have to sort out this mess and address the elephant in the room. We’ve waited long enough. It’s time.”

Over on the other line, Santiago gulps, half impressed with your determination and half fearing the way you sound so definitive, so dead set on that idea.

“Let me guess, you’re gonna do this on Thursday?” he checks.

“Not in front of everyone. But yes, I will want to talk to him.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

“You just said—“

“I know what I said, but I meant… is it a good idea to do this over dinner, with plenty of people around? It’s a very private conversation to be had, probably emotional as hell, and you might not feel so good afterwards.”

You ponder over Santiago’s words, appreciating his care nonetheless. He’s been very supportive of you over the years, and even after Frankie ghosted you completely, Santiago made sure to let you know—and his best friend as well—that the whole thing was a dumb idea and that he had your back.

Seems it’s no different now.

He knows damn well the hurt you’ve gone through, and how much you cared about Frankie. And again, he isn’t wrong. Having the big conversation over at dinner with friends, in a crowded restaurant, might not be beneficial.

“Fine, so maybe it’s not the brightest idea,” you concede. “But I’ll let him know that I do want to have the conversation and that we should meet over the weekend or something and finally clear the air.”

Santiago doesn’t reply. He’s not sure there is anything he could tell you to make you feel any better, so he resorts to simply listening to you.

“I’m sure that will go over well,” he jokes.

“You said it yourself, we gotta do normal. I gotta at least try to get closure. End it, one way or the other.”

Santiago takes a deep breath in, and you mimic the gesture, your thoughts racing as much as your heart.

“Thursday, seven p.m.,” he tells you with finality. “Antonio’s.”

“Got it.”

“I’ll swing by, pick you up.”

“Thanks.”

Considering he was Frankie’s best friend in the whole wide world, Santiago sure was spending a lot of his free time with you and making sure you were okay. You never gave it a second thought, and certainly not after Rose had confessed she still liked him.

Which reminds you…

“Is it okay if I invite Rose too?” you ask. “You remember her.”

Santiago’s breaths come in glitches, and you can hear it too. You suppress a giggle, curious as to how he’ll play this one out.

“Of course I remember her,” he replies a little too enthusiastically. “We’ve kept in touch over the years. Not as much as we did in high school, but you get it.”

“Oh, I get it.”

“Why are you saying it like that?”

“No reason.”

“Anyway, bring her along. It’ll be great. I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“I’m sure she’ll be excited to see you too.”

You smile as you hang up the phone, relishing into the one thing that makes you feel good about the upcoming dinner.

But come Thursday, and you’re dreading the dinner. The sentiment of déjà vu won’t leave you; the only exception is that this time, you know Frankie will be there, and you do intend to talk to him, even if it’s momentary.

Nervous as you are, you do your best to make sure you look great. You’re wearing a black shirt with a sweetheart neckline, and a pair of dress pants. Your makeup is in place, and so is your jewelry. Nothing too fancy, yet not too comfortable. You certainly don’t want to stand out.

“Wow!” Santiago exclaims when you open the door, his eyes radiant, beaming with admiration.

“My eyes are up here, Garcia.”

“I wasn’t—“

“I’m just messin’ with ya.”

Santiago chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sooo where’s Rose? Is she meeting us at the restaurant?”

“Unfortunately she can’t come. She has a big presentation due Monday, so her weekend is pretty much booked.”

When you look him over, you see the disappointed look on his face and you can’t help but smile surprised.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” you say.

“I’m not disappointed. I mean, I can see her whenever I want, I got her number.”

“Really? So then, why don’t you ask her out?”

Santiago falters, the smug smile on his face slowly vanishing, whereas yours grows wider.

“Because… I don’t want to,” he finishes.

“Is that so? You don’t want to ask a gorgeous woman out?”

“Hey, I’m not asking you out right now. I know what I’m doing.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, let’s just go to dinner.”

All you think about during the car ride is the speech you’re gonna give to Frankie. You must choose your words carefully, so that you won’t endanger his engagement or have your intentions be misinterpreted.

“You okay?” Santiago asks as he’s making a sharp turn to the left.

“Yeah. Just… thinking.”

“You’re always in your head.”

“Force of habit.”

You both chuckle, the atmosphere becoming a little less tense.

“Figured out what you’re gonna say to Frankie?”

You huff. “I’m just gonna say, ‘hey, I think we should probably address everything. Can we meet this weekend, talk through it and just end things one way or the other?’ and that’s that.”

“That’s good, straight to the point.”

“Yep.”

“You know, Fish is my best friend. We’ve been there for each there since we were in middle school, and I love him like my own brother. But I think letting you go was the stupidest decision of his life. Pendejo.”

You flash a faint smile, oddly touched by Santiago’s confession.

“You do?” you ask.

“Absolutely. Told him that for years and years. He’s never fought me on it, though. Never really told me why he made that choice, but I made sure to give him some hell once in a while so he knows he was a dick. I think he knows.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

He caresses your arm for a brief second, and then the next he’s helping you out of the car and opens the door for you to walk into the restaurant. The Millers are already there, and so are Mia and Emily. You and Santiago hug everyone briefly, and then he pulls the chair for you, right under the girls’ studious eyes.

“Are you sure there’s nothing going on with you two?” Emily teases.

“Let me answer this before you pull out your plethora of rejection, lady. Nothing’s going on,” Santiago quickly clears out the air, much to everyone’s amusement.

You laugh, checking the menu. It can’t be more than ten seconds later when Will’s eyes shoot to the entrance and then he leans in towards you. “Heads up, Morales at six o’clock.”

Because you’re seated with your back against the entrance, you turn swiftly, only to be met with Frankie’s figure entering the restaurant. He’s dressed sharply, not in his usual comfortable attire; he has dress pants on and a white shirt, and you have to admit, it is awfully distracting.

You take a deep breath in, trying to soothe your nerves. Santiago side-eyes you and nods, thus encouraging you to go on about your plan.

And you do exactly that: you stand up, walking towards the entrance and fully unaware of the fact that you are holding your breath. You don’t mean to do that, not even one bit, but it comes involuntarily. Like that would somehow conceal or prevent your nervousness from slipping.

Frankie’s face seems to lighten, displaying utter surprise when he sees you walking in his direction. He sees the determination on your face, albeit some anxiety in the mix, and he braces himself.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hi. You look—“

You put your hand up, almost touching his face. “No. We’re not doing that.”

“Sorry.”

God, why do you still desperately want to hear the end of that sentence? Why the hell do you feel the urge to tell him how handsome and dashing he looks?

You know better than that. You have more common sense than that.

“Listen, I’ve been thinking about it, and I think… we should talk about… everything,” you tell him, your voice seeping with nerves.

“Okay, sure. But listen—“

“Not now, obviously.”

“Obviously, yeah, but—“

“Maybe this weekend?”

Frankie opens his mouth to say something, for something to leave his mouth as a warning of some sort, yet, by the time you realize what he’s about to say, you see it with your own eyes.

“Took forever to check in those coats, I’m sorry, babe. Oh, hi!”

You stare at the woman, taking in her features. She’s about Frankie’s height, her hair brown with hints of caramel in it, her eyes emerald green and fairly big, and a very fit body. You don’t need an introduction; even though she’s a stranger at this very second, you feel like you’ve known her for a while.

“Hi!” you reply with a flustered smile on your face, hoping your surprise wasn’t noticed.

“I’m Andrea, nice to meet you.”

“Hi, Andrea. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“You too. You look even more amazing than what the guys described.”

Your smile widens, more in discomfort rather than in flattery. You watch her press a light kiss on Frankie’s cheek, and he looks at you in an apologetic way.

“Did I hear someone say something about weekend plans?” Andrea asks.

“Uh, yeah, that would be me,” you reply. “I was just…”

Then it hits you. You can’t make any plans for the weekend, and certainly not with Frankie.

“I forgot it’s the 14th,” you seemly apologize. “My bad.”

“Oh, I think the guys have something planned for Valentine’s Day, don’t they?”

She’s asking Frankie. He turns to look at her and smile a little, nodding along. You notice he avoids looking at you altogether, but then again, you think this is for the best.

“Hey, look who’s here!” Benny is the first one to exclaim—and potentially distract— and to stand up to hug Andrea. The others follow his example, leaving you and Frankie alone.

“So. That’s Andrea,” you awkwardly say.

“Yeah.”

“She seems incredible.”

“She is.”

The regret on his face after saying that is unmistakable, but all it does is confuse you. But even so, you don’t address it. You don’t think you’d want to know either way. You’re not sure you could handle it.

“So… how about this weekend? Us, talking?” he asks.

You scoff. “It’s Valentine’s Day. We can’t make any plans.”

“Are you guys joining us or what?” Benny shouts at you two.

With robotic motions, you get to the table, Santiago on your right and Frankie—and Andrea, respectively—on your left. You’ve never felt more constricted, in more need of air. The urge becomes unbearable, your clothes almost strangling you.

But you breathe through. You take deep breaths in and out, subtly, while Santiago’s keen eyes are watching you.

“Everyone in then?” Benny asks, and you’re quick to realize you missed about half the conversation.

“In for what?” you ask.

“We’re throwing sort of a party for Valentine’s this weekend,” Will explains, his voice soothing. “A get together, so we can all celebrate. All friends welcome.”

“You could bring Rose by too if you want,” Santiago tells you.

You frown at his not-at-all subtlety, making a face at him.

“What? He just said ‘all friends welcome’,” he continues defensively. “Rose is a friend, isn’t she?”

“Maybe more to some of us.”

“Best save your energy and desire to drink for Saturday night,” Will warns.

“Guys, I’m gonna sit this one out,” Andrea announces. “I’m headed for a medical conference this weekend, won’t be back till Sunday late.”

“That’s too bad,” Mia says.

“That’s right, you’re a doctor,” you remember.

Andrea flashes a smile down your way, her cheeks slightly reddened. Damn, that’s attractive even to you, and there is no denying that.

“Dermatologist,” she explains.

“Hey, that’s still medical school.”

She giggles, the adorable sound pleasantly tickling your ears. “What about you, what are you doing back here?”

“Editor. I get to judge and write, so two for two.”

Everyone at the table laughs, including Andrea.

“You’re so funny. And so cool,” she tells you.

Dang it. That’s hard to hate.

“So are you, I mean… hello, doctor?” you actually laugh.

“I smell a friendship forming here,” Benny giggles to Emily.

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Will whispers to them. “Now quit your high school giggles.”

“I’m not gonna let you talk to my girlfriend like that, big bro.”

“I was talking to you, you bonehead.”

Emily chuckles, caressing his arm in reconciliation.

“Alright, so Saturday, five p.m., our place,” Will concludes.

“I hope you guys have a great time,” Andrea pouts, leaning a little onto Frankie’s figure.

The more you talk to Andrea, the more you listen to her life story, the fonder you’re growing of her. She is indeed remarkable: studied medicine at Johns Hopkins, bartending to pay her college debt, often worked at a shelter for homeless people during the holiday season and was generally bubbly and fun. On top of that, she was very beautiful, and she and Frankie did make a great pair.

He looked happy. Whenever he returned Andrea’s gaze, he just looked so comfortable and happy, and you loved that sight so much, you saw no point in even having that conversation with him anymore.

The sudden callout of your name snaps you back with your feet on the ground. You look around the table, seeing Mia addressing you.

“Are you coming tomorrow or not?” she repeats.

You realize you didn’t give any answer, and for some reason that startles you—especially with everyone’s glare on you.

“Uh—I don’t think I should, I mean… it’s Valentine’s Day. A day for lovers. The official holiday of sex and romance.”

“Don’t think this is some sort of orgy, cause it’s not,” Benny says.

“Well now they might,” Emily shushes him sweetly.

“We said all friends are welcome,” Will reminds you. “It’s not about couples. It’s about being together with the ones we care about.”

“Oh, rub it in, why won’t you!”

Everyone laughs at Andrea’s joke, including you.

“I do promise to make it up to you when I get back though,” she coos over to Frankie, but unfortunately, you hear it too, and it makes your stomach squeeze itself to the size of a peanut.

“I don’t expect anything less,” he replies just as cheekily.

“Oh, by the way!”

Andrea peeks from behind Frankie, calling out your name.

“Almost forgot. Since you’re such an integral part of this group’s life and because they all care about you so much, we’d love it if you’d come to our wedding. It’s on 10th of June.”

There you have it. The moment you have both been anticipating and dreading.

And now that you hear it, it causes your heart to sink into the hole that your stomach left when it squeezed itself shut. Out of the corner of your eye, you see that Frankie’s not even looking at you. Being literally in between you and Andrea, hearing the exchange between you two, it’s a little overwhelming, and unlike you, he’s not afraid to show it.

Even if Andrea doesn’t know half of the truth.

And neither do you.

“Oh, thank you… so much for the invitation,” you finally reply with a massive knot in your throat. “I really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Andrea smiles.

“I just—well, I can’t make it. I’ve been planning a month long trip in June, and—“

“Oh no. I mean, that sounds amazing, but that’s too bad.”

“Yeah. Thank you so much for inviting me. But I just can’t be there.”

Your eyes pierce right through Frankie as you offer your reply, but Andrea notices nothing of the sort. It’s only then that Frankie gazes back at you, his eyes filled with unspoken regret and all the apologies of the world, each of them contained within those two brown, soft orbs.

Afterwards, you don’t even remark the concerned glares that the group exchanges between themselves. You barely hear any of the talk. You smile politely through most of it, downing your drink as if the liquid would offer some sort of salvation from the waves of sadness that overcome you.

Deep down, you know that invitation came from Andrea and not from Frankie. You’re both glad and sad, and even more so when you look around at the table, seeing Will and Mia, Benny and Emily, Andrea and Frankie and you and Santiago, together and yet apart. The concoction of emotions eats at you from inside out, ready to spit out the remains of your power at any given moment, even though you fight with every muscle in your body to keep a friendly face and not reveal any of that.

That is, until you turn to your side to see Andrea and Frankie nose to nose, whispering sweet nothings to each other in utter bliss. It’s in that moment that you feel happiness and pain marching together as one, both sharp in your chest.

“Okay guys, we don’t want to have all the fun tonight,” you excuse yourself, standing up. “So I guess I’ll see you on Saturday.”

“Yay, you’re coming!” Emily exclaims.

“A party’s a party, right?”

“Can’t you stay a bit longer?”

Frankie’s question leaves you truly dumbfounded. More so because it brings back painful memories of the last night you’ve spent together in person.

“It’s getting late,” you said at the time, barely making any effort in removing yourself from near his broad frame, sitting next to each other on that bench. “I should get going.”

“Oh, come on, it’s only ten.”

“I have a full weekend ahead of me, you know that.”

“I do. But you also know that I like spending time with you.”

“I do.”

“So you realize I’d do anything to keep you here just a little while longer.”

“It’s not easy for me either, Francisco.”

“Can’t you just… can’t you stay a bit longer?”

“I really should go, I—“

“I just want…”

“What? c’mon, just tell me. What do you want, Francisco?”

You never found out the answer. Eventually, Frankie only smiled at you and hugged you so tight you could’ve sworn you became one and the same, wished you a good night, and that was the last time you’ve seen him.

You’ve kept in touch afterwards, writing and calling, but never facetiming. And a few months down the road, he was completely gone.

“I really should get going,” you finally found the strength to reply, almost choking. “I gotta get to the office a little earlier tomorrow anyway.”

“It was so great meeting you,” Andrea smiles and hugs you. “And I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other from now on, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Frankie locks eyes with Santiago, and the latter’s eyes are adamant, nearly cruel in the wrong lighting.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Santiago offers.

“That’s fine, I’ll take a cab.”

You don’t know what else to do to get out of there faster, so you almost sprint towards the coat room and outside into the cold again.

When the crisp air hits your face, you close your eyes and nearly combust. It all feels too much at the same time, way too many sensations running rampant through your body. All you can possibly want now is to get home, jump in your bed and read something with a glass of wine in hand. Alone, unjudged.

But then, you feel a shadow behind you. A light grab of your wrist spins you around, and you nearly gasp.

“Are you okay?” Frankie asks.

It’s so silly that it’s almost laughable. Borderline pathetic.

You don’t know where the reaction comes from, but it’s catatonic. Suddenly you start to laugh, hot tears invading your eyes and threatening to run down your reddened cheeks at any given point.

“Am I okay?” you mock his words. “Do you even understand what this is like for me? Do you even have a shred of understanding as to how this might feel for me?”

Frankie coos your name so gently, it acts like a trigger for your tears to break free from your eyes, slowly pouring down your face.

“I came back here, to my so-called hometown, after all the hard work, all the studies and everything else in between… and I have never felt more like an outsider. In my own home, with my own chosen family. I’m a stranger here, I’m… it’s like I was never here!”

Frankie listens to you, heart aching in his chest, blood boiling in his veins, not daring interrupt you.

“And you just—just sitting there, just talking to you hurts, Francisco,” you continue. “It hurts thinking of us, of how we were and what we might’ve had, the things we’ve shared, the things we’ve said and didn’t say… it’s too fucking much.”

“So… what? This is it? You’re gonna disappear again?”

Maybe his question carries no ill intention, but it still stings you.

“I did not disappear,” you clarify on an angered tone. “I left for my studies, for a better life. Do not dare throw that against me.”

“I’m not—throwing it against you. It’s just—I know it’s too much. Seeing you again, like this—“

You frown. “Like what? I’m still me.”

He falters, his heart skipping several beats that might’ve otherwise killed him. But looking at you so hurt, in so much pain, it keeps him alive. It keeps him alive to know he has wronged you, and to know that he has to make it up to you somehow.

“You’re—“he begins, searching for his words. “I mean, leaving the country definitely worked in your best interest. You’re… gorgeous.”

You close your eyes again, anger rising within. “Don’t. Don’t do that, don’t be all nice and cheesy. Stop it. Please.”

There is finality in your voice, your throated plea a heartbreaking reminder to Frankie that all you’ve been through is on him. The guilt that kept him up at night, will continue to do so.

“We’re gonna have to see each other since we share friends, but… you and I both know things aren’t the way they used to be. And they never will be again.”

Frankie nods continuously, arriving at the same realization as you. “Okay,” he agrees. “So we put on a polite, fake smile and… that’s it.”

“That is it. That’s the bare minimum. I got nothing else to offer. You made sure of that.”

Later in the evening, when you’re barely paying attention to the pages of your book and the wine has long settled in your veins, you wonder how the hell people can go from strangers to friends, hoping for more, then back to strangers.

Like all the love they felt was never there to begin with.

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[golbrocklovely]

finally, after so long, here is my review of the conjuring series/hell week.

this is EXTREMELY LONG so strap in, grab a drink, and a snack. or, feel free to skip to the end to read my overall thoughts lol

like previous hell weeks, i'm gonna rate each episode and then answer whether or not i would rewatch the episode.

lmk what you guys thought !

episode one:

the obvious meat and potatoes of this whole video was satori and cody's method, which i'm just gonna refer to as The Method just bc it's easier to say then writing out their names over and over again lol

i'll be honest with you, i'm super glad that snc did their best to debunk the tapping and whatnot. i honestly think that if they hadn't tried, a lot of ppl wouldn't believe them at all or would think that either they're lying, or satori and cody are.

as for the answers that satori and cody gave… it's hard. bc on one hand i truly do believe in psychics and mediums. i myself have experienced readings or things i have done on my own. i have had a lot of things happen to me that just logically don't make sense. i do believe there are ppl that have the ability to talk to the dead. but part of me is weary of satori and cody. idk know them from a hole in the wall. they could have easily researched snc, and their past relatives, and just bullshitted the rest. same thing with their producer. it's not hard to look up someone's ancestry. i would like to believe that isn't the case, but you can't be too sure.

the debunking that snc tried did make a strong case for The Method, especially doing it in random locations that they didn't know about. but again… idk. part of me just felt like i was side-eying the whole time. and look, i want to believe that they have good intentions and they are genuinely contacting something. but again, ppl lie for far less.

but no matter if they were lying or not, i 100% believe snc's reaction to it. it was real for them, and that's all that really matters to me tbh.

i felt really bad for sam, or i guess happy for him but sad that he was crying so much. my theory with him has always been that even tho he has experienced attachments and heard things, seen things, all that jazz - i truly think for the longest time he never fully believed. i think he would rather chalk up a paranormal experience as a group psychosis before saying a place was haunted. but since that probably wouldn't bode well for either of them, he just agreed that what they experienced was "crazy" and moved on like nothing happened. also, i have this general feeling that he doesn't believe his own experiences, which is why he questions ppl like colby when he goes thru something, but i haven't really fleshed out why that could be the case. but i think this was his "come to jesus" moment, so to speak. i mean, he explained it himself that he honestly didn't think there was anything after this life. that once you died, you're gone. so this was both great and terrifying news to hear. not to mention, to hear it from your dead grandmother was definitely surprising for sure. i honestly hope this brought him some closure or comfort. bc i know i always felt really sad growing up that my grandparents, literally all of them, never got to see me graduate high school or college or perform on stage. but i always had a feeling that they watched me do all of that so it's nice to hear that for someone else, that was the case.

granted, The Method could just be bullshit to conjure up an emotional response for views and notoriety… but for now, i'm gonna just take it at face value. sure, it's real. i think what also makes me lean towards that is that cody and satori don't charge ppl for this. it only happens at the conjuring for the most part, so…. unless they start becoming a side-show circus act with a big ticket price, i'm just gonna take them at their word. plus, the random locations snc took them to, unless the boys are in on it (which opens up too many cans of worms), The Method wouldn't have been able to work in these spots or actually have satori and cody come up with real ppl that died there.

i will say tho, it was kinda funny that sam's having this emotional breakdown over hearing his grandmom telling him she's watching over him and his siblings, and then colby's getting his great grandfather coming thru to tell him to tell his parents that he's there lol like…. thanks dude i never met. appreciate the love and support.

overall this episode was fine. it wasn't my favorite of the series, but it wasn't a bad way to start the series. this episode did draw me in enough to want to see the rest, but i was also a little weary of what was to come.

(oh yeah i forgot to add that the new owner… something feels deeply off about her. like i can't put my finger on it, but if it comes out years down the line that she was bringing demons into the house or something, i will not be surprised lol)

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: yeah i guess, but not fully

~~~~~~~~

episode two:

so going into this episode, i was a bit… not excited, since i knew amanda was going to be in the video. i've always had my reservations with her. mostly, i think she has abilities, i just think she talks them up to be something that they aren't. plus she has made some comments in past videos that just make me look at her sideways bc they don't make a lick of fucking sense (ie queen mary, she talked to a ghost that said he had lived other lives before this one, he was just stuck in this one for some reason, and she literally told snc she didn't believe that bc "reincarnation isn't in the bible" …..BRO, you talk to the dead. maybe not everything in a 2000+ year old book that's been translated 150+ times is gonna be accurate. also again, need i remind you, YOU TALK TO DEAD PPL). as for how i felt about her during this episode, she was fine, i guess. the only time she annoyed me was during the estes method where her and sam were just bouncing off one another in the worse way lol but i'll get more into that later.

i think it was really interesting that they interviewed andrea perron. they need to do that more often: find ppl that used to live in these places that they visit and get their story, instead of just listening to tour guides who amp up the scares just bc they need to. i thought her interview was really intriguing and i can only imagine how horrible it must have been to live in that house all the way back then. and to see your mother get thrown across the room?? idk what i would even do as a kid in that moment.

so the first part of the investigation was with amanda, snc, and cody and satori. (side note, i love that the touch toy for the ghost kids is a basset hound). i think this whole first part was kinda funny only bc in my most cynical mind, it's three fake mediums trying to one up each other the whole time lol

i don't fully believe that, but that's what my mind kept going back to.

i do find it odd that amanda couldn't see her past relatives but The Method was able to allow them to talk. idk, if i could see dead ppl, i think i would be a bit pissed if my loved ones were like "nah, i know you got the vision but i ain't showing myself in front of you". it also doesn't really help her case of what her abilities are or how strong they are if she can't even see ppl she actually once knew.

i also find it odd that all loved ones are apparently able to get across is "watching over __" bc both snc and now amanda got that message. again, to me, this just reads as like someone in this scenario is faking something. idk what, but i just remember laughing at this whole part bc it just felt funny to watch each one try to one up the other and then snc are just like :O the whole time.

and what made this top tier comedy to me was sam asking who wrote amanda's name, and them saying it was a spirit. i'm so sorry…. but you gotta be on fucking CRACK to think that happened. i believe in ghost, the paranormal, the whole enchilada………. but a ghost soldier wrote amanda's name in the sand???? no. sorry. that didn't happened. and you cannot tell me it did lmao

honestly in situations like this, i'm more incline to believe equipment than these, respectfully, quack jobs.

i thought it was sweet that colby kept being really nice to abigail and calling her the matriarch of the house. isn't he just a sweet boy lol

the second half of the day 2 was where i got more interested and into the video. the rempod going off constantly, the camera immediately dying, that little cabinet door opening, all of that in like five minutes is crazy. and then the estes method, while interesting, was also deeply annoying since sam and amanda decided to tag team and do the one thing i hate that they try to do during the estes method - connect everything while the words are still coming out. like CALM DOWN. connect later. it was freaky to see the rempod going off in time with their estes method tho.

the woods session was kinda cool. idk how i feel about the alice box yet. why does it only say some words but the others are just on the little text box? whatever i guess. gonna be honest, woods don't really scare me for paranormal reasons. i'm more inclined to believe i'm gonna get my ass eaten by a bear or stabbed by a human so it wasn't really all that creepy, but it was cool to see this half. and then to have snc sleep in the woods… props. but to be in the woods in august in hoodies was a choice i wouldn't make, personally.

day three josh and seth came and thank GOD there were ppl in this series/episode i actually liked that joined them. their half made the video a lot better. so they start off by doing the ritual, which honestly just felt more like (literally) dancing on someone's grave so…. idk about that one. a bit disrespectful if you ask me. colby literally did the ice spice on her grave… boy i would haunt your ass for eternity for that one lmao

hearing andrea perron speak of that fateful night of her mother being possessed, again, my heart breaks for her. whether you believe in the paranormal or not, something traumatic happened to her and her family. and i just feel for her.

so when they moved on into the investigation, i just gotta say, if they plan to use the spirit box, they NEED to invest in a microphone or a better speaker for that thing bc good god i couldn't hear a single thing that was coming thru. but moving past the spirit box, the door to the library just opening on it's own?? and the camera moving slightly?? that's nuts. bc it's one thing for a draft to open a door. you're talking about the middle of august tho. there's not gonna be strong winds (for the most part) during that time of the year unless it's storming. so if a draft blew the door open, it had to have been a HUGE one to literally push a rock out of the way. and it can't be ac bc then that door would be constantly opening.

when they separated, i get why they did, but like… why do you have to do it in the dark? i would be turning on flashlights or some form of light immediately. you're not about to catching me busting my ass on the stairs of a 300+ year old house lol

josh's sleeve moving was actually kinda freaky, ngl. i know it was very subtle, and technically could have just him moving his arm and then feeling the sleeve pull or relax or whatever, but to me… it looked like something pulled it.

then when snc went in alone, i find it funny to think of a spirit just running up and down the stairs, fucking with the rempod or the motion sensor, just to see them freak out. when sam invited whatever it was up to them, and then it got near the motion thing, and colby noped out of there and literally yelled at sam like "why did you invite it up here with us?!" ngl - favorite part of the whole video. also it was kinda cute that snc tried to do The Method on their own. kinda wish it would have worked for them.

colby doing the whole "imagine being andrea perron" speech he gave…. colby, can you not? also, are you good? lol

okay, so my overall thoughts on this episode - dragged in the beginning, but got good half way thru. they also got some really good evidence outside of The Method, which i would rather they not use every episode (but end up doing regardless).

rating: 3.5/5

would i rewatch: sure, but only the second half

~~~~~~~~

episode three

so the previous episode left off with sam going into the basement late at night, almost looking possessed or something. and while i obviously didn't think that, i did want to know why he would go down there alone for some reason.

but that's for a later point in this review. let's get to the collab they did.

larray and bella…….. omg, i'll just be completely honest: i hated this collab. like genuinely, it takes a lot for me to find ppl insufferable, but larray took the cake this time. bella was fine, she seemed nice and did her best. and i love that me and @xplrvibes literally said "oh i bet they're gonna try to say bella is an empath bc she's a girl bc they do that all the time" and WOULDN'T YOU BELIEVE IT 11 minutes in they asked if she was one. i'm just glad she said no lol but back to larray……. first off, that shirt was a choice. and i'll leave it at that. but secondly, i'm okay with ppl joking is scary situations. i'm okay with them having guests that hear them say something insane and then immediately go "yeah fuck no to that, i'm leaving" or some iteration of that joke. but, larray took it too far. i don't think he said anything else other than "i don't want to be here" ect. and i get he was scared, but GOD, SHUT UP. like i got it the first five times you said it, i don't need to hear it the next 24. it literally took for him to get a message from the beyond to get him to be quiet.

i'll be honest, i don't even want to review this half of the video bc it was SUCH a drag. i remember i wasn't even half way thru and i was like… oh you're joking, we're not done yet? bc that's how annoying that whole section was. it wasn't solely larray, but he definitely exacerbated the problem.

the ring of lights that ppl can cross over, idk about that. it feels like it's fake but whatever. bella having a separate phone just for content… i love that for her lol them going into the basement is cut short only for the fact that we KNOW sam went down there first and colby was none the wiser until like two days later. The Method being done for bella and larray was cool i guess. but then sam getting an extremely private message that he couldn't share, i get that. and i hope that whatever message he got was something he needed to hear (but the way he mouthed "oh no" makes me think otherwise). my only issue is why even use any of the footage from that then? i know it's a bit nitpicky, so i'm not gonna press on it too much.

to the fans on tiktok that were saying "omg what if the message was from corey la barrie"….. please seek professional help. this isn't a fanfic. stop thinking like it is. bc i saw MULTIPLE tiktoks saying that.

but continuing on with The Method, i'll be honest with you: i'm not sure what the afterlife is like or what it entails. but it is hard for me to just blindly accept that it's all good and light and love and whatever random other words satori and cody wanted to throw in there that abigail said. i know it's my cynical mind, but hearing shit like that just makes me roll my eyes. like i know that sounds dark and sad, but that whole thing just made me go like "okay… sure."

maybe it's bc it's too generic. like that's what every form of media has said about the other side for forever. if i was able to get my point across and reach a ton of ppl, i would be sending messages like "god is woman and she sucks at beer pong" or "ice cream is free up here but only on tuesdays" or "guess what? i'm hanging out with EVERYONE'S dogs" not just love and light. boooorrrrriiiinnngggg lol

but i will note something that i thought was interesting only bc i've always had a similar thought process: cody says he doesn't know why they're able to do what they do. he believes it might have had something to do with his cancer complications and dying once. and the reason why i can believe that is i've always had this belief - so, as someone who has attempted to end my own life twice, i've come very close to death. and i think ppl that knock on death's door, you can't just unknock. you can't ding dong ditch death. so i kinda feel like those that get very close to the other side cross a line that can't be uncrossed, so to speak. which i think is also why i had the most paranormal experiences when i was going through some dark times (or had just gone thru them).

what i find peculiar is how the narrative of the basement has changed. before it was dark and demented, something evil lurking around each corner, colby having a full blown panic attack down there. all that, right? but now it's "oh it's just a trickster spirit that likes to cause havoc and is for the most part harmless. and also really would rather you be in the woods." and yet even with that knowledge in mind, everyone was still too freaked out. like if they kept getting cryptic and weird messages i would just be like "find a different trick. you don't scare me" or eventually just leave the basement altogether if nothing was going to be happening besides "come to the woods" over and over again.

but bc snc never listen, they went to woods. and again… woods to me aren't scary for paranormal reasons. more so for bears or humans. but they did get some cool evidence at the graveyard.

i'm just gonna skip that whole thing and get to the part that i want, no - NEED, to talk about which is…. colby standing up for himself when sam told him about the basement.

i was genuinely confused as to why snc weren't mentioning sam going into the basement. like i figured, sam went down there, something happened, and then he told colby. or something to that effect. but to find out that a) he had no real plans of posting this into the vid and b) he waited like two days to finally tell colby it happened…. that's really fucked, ngl. the absolute hurt that was on colby's face is so evident, no wonder sam started backpedaling (but just made it all the more worse). like colby has made it abundantly clear time and time again that he doesn't like being left in the dark about where someone is going/doesn't like being left behind and sam did exactly that. not only that, but he then did something that both him and colby swore they would do together - go to the basement. everyone was waiting to see them go together and experience whatever's down there, but sam took that for himself - like colby said. and then sam tried to justify it with "oh nothing really happened, plus we don't have to show fans, plus i really needed to do it bc everything has been so crazy" and it's like………. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU???? it's colby. while colby might have had some form of belief system before all of this, this whole situation has been insane to him as well. so you don't get to use that as an excuse. and then to say that fans don't need to see this footage, that just feels wrong. bc at the end of the day, the person sam hurt was colby. and regardless of whether or not we would have known about it, colby still would have known. and that's the part that sucks. sam was extremely self-centered for making this decision and then thinking colby would just let it slide.

and i know some of you are gonna probably be up my ass about this opinion since god forbid i give criticism towards sam. but i would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed, especially if sam was upset about it. and god knows there wouldn't have been an argument about including those clips in a video, but i digress. i just think it was messed up of sam to do to that to colby. and i hope bts he apologized profusely.

but to be a bit more light hearted about it… colby looks really hot when he's angry or annoyed. so that's nice, i guess lol it's the clenched jaw and the narrowed eyes, in case you didn't know why you found it hot either. also, he was too calm, and that's hot AND scary lol

i think it's funny to think that if they didn't include sam going there by himself and then this confrontation, we would never know why in the next part colby seemed annoyed/angry and ppl probably would have just blamed the spirits or some shit.

which also did happen…

but to bring it back for a second, you know what the scariest part of this video was for me? the tick on colby's leg. GROSS. disgusting. i would have screamed so loud i'd wake the dead lmao

but anyway the estes methods they did in the basement were very revealing and honestly the best part of the episode imo. them realizing, or believing, that dave is actually the trickster spirit and not some soldier following them around was actually really cool to see unravel. and surprisingly this time around sam jumping to conclusion over and over again paid off well. and then when colby was asking the questions, it was interesting to see his reaction to what was being said. him being annoyed at sam before hand really elevated the estes method, funny enough.

maybe it's bc i don't know about trickster spirits and what they are meant to do or whatever, but if i know the spirit i'm talking to is fucking with me, i'm just not gonna talk to it anymore. i'm not gonna give it what it wants, which is to see me scared. and i think snc, without knowing it, were feeding into what dave wanted.

their equipment malfunctioning over and over again was crazy, ngl. but the actual scariest part of the whole vid was who the FUCK was that behind them in the basement coming up the steps??? fuck The Method, now THAT is proof of the other side existing, especially if snc were alone in that house at that point (which assumingly they were).

so this episode was a bit of rollercoaster for me. some parts were just plan bad to me. like i wouldn't even consider rewatching the first half again tbh. it was tedious to do it just to make this review, so that alone deducts this episode a bunch. but the second half, basically everything after The Method where larray and bella's loved ones talked to them, was pretty decent/better. and of course, once snc were alone, the video was at its best. i truly wish snc would just realize that they do so much better and get such better results without other ppl. just the two of them is enough. i truly wanted to like this episode, and i did to some extent, but no offense to larray, his over reactions just soured most of the video for me. he seems like a nice guy, and i didn't mind him the first time around when snc collabed with him, but god… just shut up next time lol

rating: 2.9/5

would i rewatch: only the tail end, tbh…. so no i guess lol

~~~~~~~~

episode four

i'll be honest with yall, i was mixed about how this final episode was gonna play out. part of me was excited to see it, another part of me was like… eh, don't care. but i will say, i was pleasantly surprised with this one. i guess in a weird way it was my favorite of all the episodes, but that's not saying much since none were really my favorite anyway.

niki and george were fantastic. honestly no notes. they didn't talk the entire fucking time, they weren't overly negative, they kept in line with snc's humor and or seriousness. i loved it truly. 10/10.

i completely forgot that kris called them to tell them about a dream she had. her and niki, and celina too… all having dreams about snc. what are they, fans??

i'm joking btw.

i think the dream element can be a bit questionable, but i do also think it's kinda creepy too. even if for argument's sake it's not real and/or is propped up to be something more serious than it is.

the foil house/tent thing they built was…. confusing. but i'm down for them to start using different methods, especially if they end up working or are interesting. they split up and neither really got anything that compelling, but when they played the picture game it was creepy that only colby's pics got fucked with a bit. it's always colby lol

but i gotta ask, didn't they break the first rule of the game which is nothing is supposed to cross over the circle in the middle? bc sam did that by putting the water cup down in it. also, i highly doubt that snc trashed that camera. highkey it's probably in their office rn.

the duel estes method, in theory, is a cool idea. but the execution wasn't really good enough. like sure, they got some answers, i guess. but half of the words were just random. and tying niki and colby together was kinda pointless. snc just love exploring their kinks on camera huh skskks jk

so, i think what was a bit confusing about sam freaking out (before) going into the basement is that did you really think colby wasn't gonna send you down there at some point? he has made a big stink about it since it happened to him. of course sam had to have known this was gonna happen. not to mention, sam's fucking challenge for colby would have literally caused him to get lost in the woods…. so i would say sam got the nicer of the two options.

as for what transpired in the basement, clearly sam was absolutely losing it. whether it was paranormal or not, he was scared out of his fucking mind. and i get it must have been creepy as hell down there. and god knows he lasted longer than i would have. but there is no reason he has to push himself that far to believe there is something more. like is it really worth being permanently scarred just to know if something is down there? not to mention, but whatever is down there, feeds off of havoc and scared energy. and you basically fell into its trap. like, i'm not blaming sam for freaking out. god knows i would be way worse in that situation. but i also wouldn't have been the dumbass who leaves my phone upstairs and has no extra back up light.

also colby is too forgiving bc i would been like "since you love the basement so much, here you go :)" lmaooo

(sidenote, why is colby walking around in only his socks???? ewwwww. do that in your own home, not the conjuring my guy. and another sidenote, does sam's face look swollen in the basement, or is that just the camera being hella zoomed in? idk why he just looks different)

colby giving a whole disclaimer or explanation about why he could leave sam in the basement…. i blame the fandom bc there is no reason for him to being doing all that. sam was literally gonna have him walk alone to the fucking graveyard. sam is fine in the basement. he can leave whenever he wants to. colby ain't a bad guy for giving him a challenge like that.

the walkie dying is so eerily spooky to the og alone conjuring video it's kinda crazy. but, maybe there is just bad reception lol

moving onto the final stretch of the video, the tarot reading. i know snc kinda showed more of the original reading on xplrclub, but if they truly think her first reading was super accurate, i really hope this reading is also just as accurate. snc deserve a lot more positive than negative these next couple months. so i hope that happens for them.

(might have to do a tarot reading on them myself just for funsies)

The Method's last messages… again, idk. imma just say this, to quote beetlejuice the musical "positivity is luxury that few can afford" and i'll just leave me beliefs at that.

i'll be completely honest with yall, idk what the priestess did with snc. the whole thing, the ouija board and exorcism/cleansing was intriguing, don't get me wrong, but idk what the fuck was happening. i kinda just watched it and accepted it at face value bc again, idk anything. it probably would have been for the best if snc explained it a bit better or did something to let us know what was up. i don't really believe everything that the priestess believes, but i do find her interesting enough that i hope she comes back eventually. god knows snc are gonna need another cleansing at some point.

colby going into the woods blindfolded…. is he trying to literally fall off of a bridge? what is with yall using blindfolds and ties? enough of the kinky shit, already.

but as for what happened out there, i think it was an interesting end to the final investigation. i could sort of hear something running up on colby, and i can only imagine how that would have felt in the moment. and who knows what it could have been? my bet is it was an animal, but i also feel like if it was one, it would have kept chasing him. but who knows. i'm just glad he didn't get hurt.

overall, i would say this was my favorite episode. i think it had a lot more high moments than lows, and that alone makes it the best. the collabs were good in this one, they got really cool evidence, and it was just a great way to wrap up this series.

rating: 4/5

would i rewatch: yeah :)

~~~~~~~~

now, onto my thoughts on this whole thing:

so going into this series, i wasn't too excited, as i had mentioned before. i felt as if snc should have taken this year off and came back during hell week if that was something they direly wanted to do. bc a lot of the content that came out this year was just… not good. it wasn't on par with what their calibar is. but i think this series was probably the best thing that came out this year by them. a lot of cool and interesting things happened in this series, and clearly snc's hearts were fully invested in this. there was passion in this series, and that's what a lot of their other videos this year have lacked, imo.

as for The Method and it changing the world….. i love snc, clearly. i deeply care for them. but they truly need to have someone in their camp that's gonna tell them reality. i mean, just as i'm writing this, there are tons of ppl on tiktok and youtube trying to disprove and nitpick apart the series and in particular The Method. but here's how i feel about that: satori and cody could be lying, that's true. they could be faking it somehow. but i don't think that's the takeaway from this series. i've seen how many ppl this brought closure to, how many ppl feel better now knowing there is something else after this life. and that in itself is worth it, even if it's not real. this series wasn't gonna change my mind bc i myself already believed in the paranormal and already believed that there is something more out there. i don't need two random ppl to prove to me i'm right. i already believe that on my own. and in that regard, i know that this series isn't for me. it's for those that needed to hear those words, that needed the confirmation. and for those ppl, i'm happy this gave you that. honest to god. just bc i didn't get that out of this doesn't mean i look down on those that did. if this helped you in any way, that's fantastic and i'm glad. i'm not here to argue whether or not The Method is a lie. idc tbh. snc believe it, and i believe them.

and if it comes out that satori and cody lied, fuck them. but until otherwise proven, i'll believe what they're selling. i'm just… not gonna buy any myself.

but even taking them out of the conjuring equation, snc caught some crazy shit there. of course, a lot of it was amplified by The Method, but i think what they did outside of that was more interesting and compelling than The Method. what i think will be more important is what they now do with the information they know. how are they gonna move forward now knowing what they know? what are they gonna impliment now that they didn't think to use before the conjuring? that's what matters to me.

idk if i got an ask that said this or not (i would have to double check but if i did - hi anon, here's your answer), but i know ppl are asking how snc are gonna top themselves this next year for hell week. personally, i don't think they have to. i think they should go back to what hell week looks like usually: a bunch of different places with different guests, but now more amplified. maybe, crazy concept, do more solo investigations. how about during next year's hell week you just… go alone to all seven places? maybe stop by the conjuring another time? you already proved (for the most part) that there is an afterlife and more beyond this life, why not go back thru your greatest hits with fresh eyes? that's what will make a difference in the content and take it to the next level without you literally contacting a demon or something.

i was pleasantly surprised by this series, and i'm more excited now to see what they do next than i was before, so… mission accomplish lol

#sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #personal #hell week #text

[ardenrabbit]

i am a little embarrassed to talk about this openly so i am doing it anon,,, but holy shit you have no idea how much your fic means to me. last year i was diagnosed with a life-altering illness in my bone marrow, and i've lost so much since then. i used to be muscular, and love my body, and just. augh. i've lost nearly 60 pounds to the date and all my muscle. some days my bones hurt so bad from the inside out that i feel like how you've written xie lian--pushing through every screaming fiber in my body to take just one more step forward. i can't recover fast enough. some days i feel strong and then get reminded that just vacuuming my floor leaves me a trembling, sweating mess. it's so frustrating.

you don't have to publish this but. being able to read something that feels so? accurate? so,,, i'm not sure how to describe it. i just feel seen, with the added bonus of your portrayal being written so beautifully and featuring my favorite little guys right now. i love it so much and i just wanted you to know that. not to be dramatic but your writing just. feels like home. qwq

Anon, I hope it's okay with you if I do answer this, because damn, I really want to try and give this a worthy response.

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through so much, and I hope that things get easier for you in any ways that they can. I'm not going to say I know what it's like, because everyone's experience with chronic illness, pain, and fatigue is different. I sincerely wish you the best in your recovery and ongoing management of your condition.

I'm so truly grateful that you've been able to find something cathartic in what I'm writing. Most of my fics end up as self-therapy projects, so I try to be realistic and compassionate about the topics at hand in case someone else relates to it. I know one of the big differences between this fic and real life is that Xie Lian is eventually going to make a relatively full recovery, where people with chronic conditions will usually have to manage them for the rest of their lives, so I worry that the ending might feel frustrating or like wishful thinking to some people. Most of us don't get that kind of closure. But I really hope that this story can offer some sense of relief and validation to people who are going through their own recoveries or learning how to manage chronic conditions.

I really had no idea that so many people would find the story so relatable, so I really hope that I can do a decent job of helping people feel acknowledged and that they're not alone. Maybe most importantly, I hope that I can help offer some hope to people going through this sort of thing, because things do tend to gradually become more manageable as they navigate their conditions. There is a grieving process involved with diagnoses of chronic conditions, but it is a process in the end. 

I truly believe in the hope that life can still be full and fulfilling even if the illness or injury won't go away. That might sound ominous, but it's important to remember, wherever you're at.

Thank you for telling me what it means to you. I've learned that fics can have a marked impact on people's lives (my first big fic got me a wife, who is the coolest person who's ever lived; writing has helped me manage my own mental health like nothing else possibly could; I've made amazing friends and been able to share mutual support with them) so I take this seriously. I hope this makes sense and doesn't come off as patronizing (I would be the worst kind of liar if I said everything's going to be okay for everyone, and the "you're so strong and brave, I could never handle going through that" stuff makes me wanna scream) and I just. It means everything to me if I've successfully offered some comfort. Thank you.

I hope you have a really good year, anon. 💜

#anonymous #god i hope this makes sense #i hope its actually helpful or useful #and doesnt just make me sound like ive gotten a big head from the response that people have been kind enough to give me #idk i just hope this isnt annoying or too much #seriously #thank you anon #tgcf #my writing #alasr #oh look it talks

[taylor-on-your-dash]

AN ANALYS OF WOULD'VE COULD'VE SHOULD'VE THROUGH THE LENS OF RELIGIOUS FAITH

Taylor has written a lot of songs (State of Grace, Holy Ground and False God for example) that reference and/or talk about relationships and love through the lens of religion. Would've Could've Should've is one of them too and we can actually say that the whole song is an extended metaphor.

Let's start with these lyrics:

If I was a child did it matter, if you got to wash your hands?

Here, John Mayer washing his hands can signify two things:

He's refusing to take responsibility. This concept comes from Pontius Pilate symbolically washing his hands of the responsibility of Jesus' crucifixion even though he believed that Jesus was innocent.

He's washing away guilt, like Lady Macbeth washing her hands of Duncan’s blood to try to get rid of the guilt for his murder.

All I used to do was pray / You’re a crisis of my faith

We know that Taylor grew up Christian and still considers herself one, as we know from Miss Americana. She had a Bible on her nightstand, according to a photoshoot she did for People in 2007, and now she's not so sure anymore. She must've been taken comfort in praying, but now she's referring to it using a past tense, meaning she has lost her faith. it was an integral part of her identity and now it's in the past.

The chorus continues the metaphor:

I would've stayed on my knees - this is both a reference to praying and to the universal victory and worship of God: "every knee will bow, and every tongue will swear allegiance” (Isa. 45:23)

And I damn sure never would've danced with the devil at nineteen - mention of the devil, the ultimate enemy of salvation. she danced with the devil, meaning that she feels like she voluntarily engaged in "immoral" behaviour.

And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven - here she mentions of God and Heaven, the ultimate goal for a Christian, but she's actually swearing on God that dancing with the devil felt like Heaven, which is quite the contradiction. In fact, the whole chorus is a chiasmus that reinforces the anthesis: knees/heaven and God/devil.

If you never touched me, I would've gone along with the righteous / If you never saved me from boredom, I could've gone on as I was / But, Lord, you made me feel important and then you tried to erase us

Touch is an important part of humanity and in the Christian religion Jesus heals others through the touch of his hands. In this case, Taylor is regretting the touch of the devil and the fact that he woke her up from boredom, leading her astray. We also have an interjection (Lord), which mentions God through a metonymy.

God rest my soul / I miss who I used to be / The tomb won't close / Stained glass windows in my mind / I regret you all the time / I can't let this go / I fight with you in my sleep / The wound won't close / I keep on waiting for a sign / I regret you all the time

In what could be the best bridge of her career, Taylor is praying God to let her soul rest in peace, which is a way to say that who she was before John is dead, but the tomb still won’t close cause she can't find closure. Taylor sees love as her religion but her old self who believed in love with the innocence of a child died because of her relationship with John Mayer.

The stained glass windows is probably the most interesting lyric of the track and it ties to the other religious themes in the song. She says that the tomb is in her mind, meaning that she feels trapped with and because of her memories. Stained glass windows can also represent the ones in Catholic Churches that depict an important scenes from the Bible, as if this relationship was reflected as a stained-glass image in her mind. The glass distorts the light that passes through it, just as her life experiences after that relationship were distorted by it. She went from seeing life through rose-colored glasses to stained glass windows, meaning that her view on love and relationships is being looked at through memories that “stain” any optimism and faith in new relationships.

They also represent an actual memory of hers… because at the time John Mayer lived in a parish converted into an apartment, which had stained glass windows.

The last subject I want to touch is “I regret you all the time”, because I feel like if you look at some of the songs written shortly after Dear John and/or her relationship with John Mayer, for example, Back To December: it is quite mind-blowing to consider how the tumultuous relationship with John Mayer influenced her regretting Taylor Lautner… but that's for another post.

#taylor swift #would've could've should've #taylor swift song analysis #john mayer #midnights #3am tracks

[lunarsilver]

What awaits you in December?

As always, choose the picture or number you feel most drawn to.

REMEMBER

I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Tarot readings will never replace meetings with them.

It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.

If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them and that’s okay too.

Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason of making it.

1 ~ 2 ~ 3

PILE 1

Theme (Major Arcana only): The Lovers – Back of the Deck: The Empress

More info: Ace of Pentacles (R) – Ace of Cups (R) – The Fool – Back of the Deck: Seven of Swords (R)

Oh man, so many cards related to new beginnings!

The theme of your December will be relationships and feminity (regardless of your gender). The deck I used for this part of the reading futures characters from a certain game – both of them are young girls being in touch with who they are and what they want (maybe some of you play Genshin Impact and Barbara or Fischl are somehow special for you). There’s this stepping into your power and embracing who you are. Even if some may think your hobbies or how you express yourself is weird or cringe, there is also a lot people out there that would adore you and appreciate what you do for them.

As I said at the beginning, the second part of the reading kinda shocked me, literally all of the cards except the one at the back talk about some sort of a new start, pretty straightforward. This December is a whole new beginning, why wait for the new year. Be careful, there’s some chance you can miss if you won’t act. Plan ahead. There will be some looking into yourself, understanding your emotions. Do you have an imposter syndrome? There will be harder moments, but The Fool heralds a new beginning, stepping into your power and having fun with discovering new things. Seriously, getting to know yourself better and embracing it just keeps popping up. A truly „stop cringing, embrace the cringe” message.

Kinda an afterthought, but your relationships with family can be important, most likely with your parents and/or siblings, especially with your (older) sister.

PILE 2

Theme (Major Arcana only): Death (R) – Back of the Deck: The World

More info: Queen of Wands (R) – Three of Pentacles – Five of Pentacles – Back of the Deck: Knight of Wands

Looks like you will experience some blockages and stagnancy, but it’s also pretty clear this December is all about your inner self: seeking closure and inner transofrmation. It isn’t really about outer world, more about you yourself. Maybe some of you will feel a little stuck in your spirituality or disconnected from your ancestors/spirits. In case any of you plays Genshin Impact, I used a deck with characters from it for this part of the reading and the ones on your cards are Hu Tao and Paimon, maybe they’re somehow significant to you.

Now, going more into details – we have Wands and Pentacles here, fire and earth. Do you plan to visit some older building, all in white and beige, maybe abandoned, full of plants? Pretty specific, but it came to my mind when I was looking at the pictures of the Pentacles cards, they have both a pretty similar vibe, calming and kinda mysterious. A museum? Renaissance vibes.

Yeah, this Queen of Wands in reverse? That’s what I was talking about earlier, you concentrate energy on yourself now. You may spend more time alone, to understand yourself better. However! It doesn’t mean you won’t have people around you, after all we have two cards from the Court here. You will work on some project together. Remember about clear communication with each other. Nearer the end of December you can have some struggles; save some money for sure, and remember to have reliable people around you. You know, if you ever feel lonely, remember it’s always temporary. Knight of Wands says you’ve got it! You have this passion and determination, pile 2, you can do this! Oops, the Knight slided out of the pile and The Lovers showed up from under it. So, there was this feeling in me that for some of you The Knight can actually represent someone else that will be important for you during December, and I feel like these Lovers kinda confirm it. Some bond, maybe? As if this Knight was about to bring a precious relationship, you are the queen and someone else is the knight – for some, of course. Alternatively, it’s a confirmation of my words: you will do it. Some choices are to be made, and you have the fire in you to make it.

PILE 3

Theme (Major Arcana Only): The Tower – Back of the Deck: Justice

More info: The Hanged Man – King of Pentacles – Six of Swords – Back of the Deck: Knave of Wands (R)

Okay, guys, some major, sudden change, a big event or process that can be hard for you to handle. After The Tower usually something better comes to us, so keep it in mind when it won’t be easy for you. This change is related to what Justice represents: clarity and truth, cause and effect, Justice doesn’t take anybody’s shit. Whatever it is, justice will be served. For some, it can be more literal, be about law. For others, maybe someone who treated you unfair or bullied you is going to deal with the consequences. If you feel like you can be the bad guy in someone’s scenario, it’s time to change. Wow, sorry for being so serious here, just gotten into this mood after seeing the cards. In case any of you plays Genshin Impact, I used a deck with characters from it for this part of the reading and the ones on your cards are Raiden Shogun and Jean, maybe they’re somehow important to you. Some problems with keeping balance in your life?

Moving on, the beginning of this December is about letting go, stopping for a moment, reflecting, looking from a different perspective. It looks like you will be in your power, pile 3! Money, work – you have this under control. Maybe you will be some kind of a leader. Working on some passion project? There’s this stability and reliability in you, even thought different things can be frustrating. Remember to be patient. The end of the December will bring you a transition of some kind, leaving something behind – probably The Tower will be in ruin by now and you will start something new, better than what this Tower was. We have here Major Arcana, Pentacles, Swords and Wands, we only lack Cups (I actually saw a reversed King of Cups while shuffling but it didn’t pop out) – this can signalize a disconnection from feelings. Remember to give yourself some time to think about why you feel a certain way.

#pac reading #pac #free tarot reading #tarot reading #tarot #witchbrl #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a picture #pick a card #december #december 2022

[mk-wizard]

Top 15 Games that SHOULD get a 100% Reboot/Restart

Hi. I felt like doing something positive especially after my last post, so as a follow up, here is a list of games that I think should get the reboot treatment. And when I say reboot, I don’t just mean remake with fancier graphics and bonus features. I mean restart altogether with fresh new storylines that go their own way though in some specific cases, all they need is a new look. Note that this is my subjective opinion and nobody here has to agree with it. It’s just a fun suggestion.

1- Metal Gear - I don’t mean Metal Gear Solid, I mean Metal Gear in general. In fact, I think the “Solid” should be retconned entirely because it not only stopped being about Solid Snake who is the hero, he was done dirty with a pathetic ending and the only sequels we get now are prequels. Not to mention the constant drama and tragedy became nauseating. My advice is to restart from the beginning by rebooting the games that date back to the NES as are with better writing and then after that, only do a half-reboot of Metal Gear Solid and then go its own way while respecting Snake as a main character. Solid Snake is a staple in war themed games and set the standard of how we create them. He should REMAIN the main character and have his endings always remain open with him still standing with dignity.

2- Dino Crisis - I don’t think I need to say much here. Everyone is dying to see this game get remade and it’s not hard to see why. With the exception of the third game and the spin off, Dino Crisis 1 and 2 are amazing. They are dinosaur themed games that actually feel like survivor horror games and not like shooter games with the dinosaur gimmick. This series deserved a reboot and a third game that gives it proper closure.

3- Parasite Eve - Like Metal Gear, this series did dirty to its main character (Aya Brea) in such a way that they wrote themselves into a corner. Only the first game feels unique and special while the second and third instalments have an identity crisis, a confusing weapons and spell system, and a tank control that never belonged. Only the first game should stay as is with a simple remake and then, its sequels should actually be true sequels that keep the battle, spell and control system as are. Let’s just forget that PE2 and The Third Birthday ever happened.

4- Silent Hill - Let’s be honest. Harry Mason is the most underrated male protagonist in survivor horror because unlike all the others, he is not a man of action, not a badass and very relatable for it. He is a widower, a writer, a pacifist and one heck of a dad who literally jumped into the underworld to save his daughter. Now, while I like a lot of the sequels, this series lost its way. With the exception of Silent Hill 2, I think Harry and his daughter should have remained the main protagonists of the series. Harry is proof that real men come in all flavors and having one like him is different while still showing the best attributes of masculinity.

PS: I know Silent Hill 1 got a reboot, but it was bad. Period.

5- Turok - Before there was Dino Crisis (and I’m not discrediting it), there was Turok. The titular hero who might I also add is aboriginal which is a very underrepresented group in fiction period who literally kills dinosaurs with his bare hands. He is a badass and he while he has gotten reboots before, none of them hit the mark yet, but creators should not give up on him. He is worth the effort and if they keep trying, they will strike gold.

6- Castlevania - This series is ICONIC and nobody ever gets tired of it. It should make a comeback and it is one of the few series where being 3D would make it better. And considering that medieval settings in video games is all the rage now, it would be great to see Simon Belmont back in action. Heck, I would even be open to seeing a Belmont fighting evil in our modern times in 3D.

7- The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time - Now, I stand by that this series doesn’t need a reboot, I think this game specifically should get a remake because it is a great game that reshaped the series into how we know and love it now, but it was very buggy and the graphics were not that great even for their time. Everything else about it is great, but it does need a facelift.

8- Prototype - A forgotten gem if there ever was one. This series is unique in that it is the one game where you play as the monster who is also an anti-hero. Yet again, its series did its main character (Alex Mercer) dirty though on top of that, left too many questions unanswered. This series needs a reboot with a much better storyline. If you haven’t seen it, play the first game and you’ll see my point.

9- Tomb Raider - Now, we can all agree that this series has lost its way. While I am all for origin stories and I admit it makes sense for Lara Croft to not be hardened or toughened up from the start. Keeping her as a weak frightened girl doesn’t make her realistic nor does it make her a likeable heroine. And I am woman enough to admit that being athletic, confident, daring and badass is a part of Lara Croft’s character. I don’t want her to be realistic. I want her to be cool and fun to play. This series needs to go back to its roots when it was fun and Lara was allowed to shamelessly be herself.

10- Dead Rising - Another case of a game losing its way and its main protagonist becomes someone they’re not. The second instalment was the only game that felt true to what the series is supposed to be and even then, it felt like a spinoff not a part of the main story because Dead Rising is Frank West’s story. Another thing that also stood out about this game is that unlike most zombie themed games, the main character is not only not a fighter, he’s a total lover in all the great ways. Frank is (or rather, was) compassionate, honest and it isn’t for nothing that you only got the best ending when you would save everyone. Heck, he would save people who tried to kill him. This series should get a total reboot and a total rewrite after game 1. And can we please not give Frank a heart of stone? Him being loving is what made him great.

11- ObsCure - Another lost gem with a unique premise and group of protagonists. This game plays up our childhood fear of the dark because the monsters in this game literally are allergic to the light and the setting is in a highschool. It feels like Scream meets the Blair Witch Project making it a lot of fun, and the monsters are so delightfully creepy. Plus, the story was compelling. Sadly this series only got one sequel which was actually great, but never got that third instalment that would wrap everything up. I say we give this series a reboot, so it can finally finish what it started.

12- Resident Evil Outbreak - I know this is a spinoff series, but it’s one of the best in the series. It fills in a lot of gaps in the main storyline and any game that allows you to have your own tyrant fighting alongside you is awesome. It also has a multiple ending system which was well done and very rewarding when you get the best ending. I think this should get the reboot treatment and even have a third game that expands the aftermath further.

13- Resident Evil Dead Aim - Another one of the best spinoffs in the RE series because it expands the story specifically in how tyrants are made and how the variants work. And to be honest, I even liked the characters. I would love see new life breathed into this compelling game even if it just remains the only one of its kind.

14- Days Gone - I don’t care what anyone says. Any game that allows to play a biker with the spirit of an honourable warrior is badass. Also, can we talk about how this is one of the few games where the main protagonist is married and remains loyal to his wife even long after?! He may be white, male, straight and Christian, but he is still pretty progressive and embodies the BEST part of masculinity. The parts that drive a man to be romantic, noble and heroic. This game with extremely misjudged to the point of bigotry and it deserves a proper reintroduction because it was going places.

15- Half-Life - This series helped Valve get its jump start and it had the most unique and most iffy type of protagonist in an action/sci-fi game possible yet worked: a scientist. After all, who expect the skinny nerd with the big thick glasses to save the day? Yet, it worked and this game has tons of monsters that became iconic in video game lore. What’s really sad is that a third game was in works, but never saw the light of day. I say we reboot this series and give it the chance to honour its promise to give that third game at long last.

Bonus - Other honourable mentions here are Left 4 Dead because Back 4 Blood stinks, Alone in the Dark though I hear a reboot is in the works, Doom, Devil May Cry and the right way please, Bloody Roar, The Suffering, Fatal Frame, The Evil Within and any other fantastic game series that either went bad due to bad sequels or never got the chance to keep going.

#half-life #video game #reboot #days gone #resident evil outbreak #resident evil dead aim #zombie #survivor horror #metal gear #metal gear solid #solid snake #prototype #alex mercer #parasite eve #aya brea #mitochondria eve #obscure #dead rising #frank west #lara croft #tomb raider #castlevania #simon belmont #the legend of zelda ocarina of time #ocarina of time #silent hill #harry mason #heather mason #turok #dino crisis

[blue-chimera]

(cont. from x)

Drinking, Sex, & Violence¹ — What it says about Dean Winchester in Season 7

We've looked at the trial in "Defending Your Life" (specifically as it relates to Amy's death), but there's more to unpack in this episode.

~ Drinking Alone ~

Let's start with the fact that Dean's drinking is getting out of control again. From the very beginning of DYL, he's got a beer in hand pretty much every moment he isn't driving or actively working the case. And things escalate fast once a bar gets involved. (Remember that this is not something we saw from him for most of S6.)

Dean drinking while speculating that the victim drove drunk is just one of several ways the episode associates him with the other guilty parties.² Note that Sam doesn't have a beer. When Dean's drinking in moderation, he's usually engaging in social drinking. When Dean's spiraling, he's often drinking alone.

Meanwhile, he's dragging his feet on the case, resisting & resenting what needs to be done at pretty much every turn, muttering things like, "The fun never stops" and even letting out a disbelieving, "What?" at one point when Sam casually mentions their (obvious) next steps. He's treating things like checking out the crime scene and doing a simple salt & burn like massive burdens. He's bitterly sarcastic & constantly on edge.

The easy explanation is that Dean dislikes cases where the victims aren't obviously innocent or undeserving, to the point where he'd rather leave the supernatural alone in those situations — and you might point back at S2:E8 "Crossroad Blues," for example, to support this argument. But that wasn't the only case they worked where victims were seemingly getting what was coming to them. It's just the only other case they worked where that fact bothered Dean enough that he didn't want to work the case anymore.

In comparison, Dean wasn't inclined to let the Trickster go in "Tall Tales," even though the demigod was only hurting jerks (and offered to leave town without a fight). In "Houses of the Holy," while clearly disturbed to discover that all the victims were perpetrators of horrific crimes, he wasn't at all deterred from laying the avenging spirit to rest. And, in "Red Sky at Morning," the fact that the ghost ship only targeted people who'd killed their own kin didn't persuade him to walk away, either.

The difference between those other cases and these two episodes ("Defending Your Life"/DYL & "Crossroad Blues"/CB) is that, in these episodes, Dean is taking something personally: relating just a little too hard to the people involved. In CB, he's angry at John for his sacrifice and projecting that onto other people who've made deals. In DYL, he's feeling guilty for killing Amy (and like he'd deserve whatever punishment came his way) and he's projecting that.

~ Sex! (Or Not...) And More Drinking ~

There's something else interesting that we discover in DYL, and that's the fact that Dean's playboy ways have been (kind of) left in the dust: casual sex isn't really casual for him at this point. Which makes sense, considering just how long it's been since he had a fling. He was monogamous with Lisa for a year between S5 & S6, then clearly faithful during their long-distance relationship (which lasted at least up through S6:E6). After E6, it's less clear, but I would guess he still wasn't sure if they were broken up "for good" for a while (like, Lisa called him a bunch, but he never picked up, but he kept thinking about calling her back, but he didn't, etc.), until things finally culminated in a "real" breakup conversation in S6:E14 "Mannequin 3: The Reckoning," where both sides got some closure.

He didn't have much time to do anything about being single again, though: barely a month later, things came to a head with Eve... and then Dean was crushed by the events of S6:E20, E21, & E22, as we examined here.

All told, by the time DYL rolls around in S7, he's been out of the game for at least 2 years.³ So, when the hot bartender he's chatting with makes it clear she wants to get lucky with him, that's exciting (and unexpected) enough to break through his guilty ruminations.

However, he's clearly nervous. It's not obvious, though, whether his nerves are entirely because of how long it's been or if his dark mood is also to blame. It's like, this is too good of an opportunity to pass up — or maybe he just can't imagine a Dean Winchester who would say "No" here — but he really hasn't done this sort of thing in a long time & he's also kinda distracted by the stuff he's obsessing over, so he doesn't really have his head in the game & he isn't super in the mood, and, all in all, he's just not entirely sure this is going to go well...

But it's moot in the end. Thanks to Osiris, he doesn't get to find out.

You can't get much more "not a playboy anymore" than giving yourself a pep talk before a one-night stand.

Then, in "Shut Up, Dr. Phil," Dean's mood — and his drinking — only gets worse.

Compare Dean's instinctive "No thanks, I'm working" in S6:E6 (when the bartender asks if he'd like another) to S7:E5's dismissive "We're always 'on the job'!" when Sam questions him about drinking while they're on a case.

In E6 "Slash Fiction," Dean doesn't have much opportunity to drink while tearing up the country in pursuit of his doppelganger. Meanwhile, their status on the FBI's Most Wanted List excludes any possibility of casual sex off-screen. Then, by the conclusion of the episode, Dean has lost Sam & Baby both — his brother and the closest thing he's ever had to a home.

So maybe it should be unsurprising that in E7, after Dean's spent a week & a half alone with nothing but his thoughts, we get another hat-tip that (despite repressing like his life depends on it, to the point where he comes across as almost manic) Dean is on the verge of completely losing his shit. Let's just say that some time apart was not exactly what he needed.⁴

Dean is almost aggressively casual as he tries to pretend everything's fine, while Sam's body language clearly conveys his anger. Body language is a major theme of this episode, as psychics (both real & fake) discern that Sam is pissed & grieving a loss, while also clocking that Dean is exceptionally stressed (despite putting on a fake smile & tap-dancing for all he's worth).

After a tongue-lashing from Ellen beyond the grave, Dean confesses that he's in a bad place & that he knows his instincts might be shot right now. He did what felt right, but it could've been wrong.

In E8, Dean finds himself alone once more — first, when Sam would rather hike in the desert than join him drinking in strip clubs in Las Vegas (a valid choice, if not particularly helpful to Dean), and then again when Sam leaves him for Becky (because he's been bespelled, of course... not that Dean knows it at the time).

Then, in E9, after a conversation where Bobby tells Dean he's noticed that Dean's been acting like he doesn't care if he lives or dies (which, in hunting, gets you killed pretty quick), Bobby is fatally shot.

Dean's state of mind does not improve in E10.

¹Whoops, I lied — sorry! This got long. Violence is gonna have to be in the next part. ²Note that this scene contains a colloquialism that wouldn't typically be written out and might be confusing in print. Despite the negative construction, Dean is actually suggesting that the guy probably was drunk when he ran the child over. Much like if a colleague said, "Maybe the boss just hasn't thought of that... I wonder if somebody shouldn't raise that point at the next meeting?" he would be suggesting that somebody should raise that point. Similarly, someone who says, "I wonder if that man isn't our new teacher?" strongly suspects that the man is their new teacher. (This is possibly related to rhetorical constructions like, "Isn't the sunset beautiful tonight?" which also imply that the speaker takes a positive stance on the issue.) ³ Longer, if you think his last casual encounter dates back to the last one we saw on screen, which would've been with Anna in S4:E10 "Heaven and Hell." Although I think it's just as likely that he had a couple of rolls in the hay afterwards that were just off-screen, since we see him flirting with women with that intention a few times between then & "Swan Song." (And it seems likely that, at age 30, if Dean Winchester was interested & available, he probably wasn't having too hard of a time getting laid.) ⁴Raise your hand if you were surprised to discover that Dean has abandonment issues.

#dean winchester #spn meta #understanding dean winchester #spn #supernatural season 7 #character analysis #character development: dean winchester #dean studies

[pleasetiemyshoelaces]

Hey Courtney. Ok- first thing, I haven't been here in a long while and I still haven't quite figured out how to surf the Tumbler learning curve (I am, relatively speaking, an old).

So I re-blogged my opening post to make some corrections (wrong names, etc.) and also because I logged on here last night and saw that "whoa, holy shit what happened?!" IOW: a lot has changed.

A few questions- what's going on with Milena. I saw her post about tentatively trying to mend fences with Poppy and stepping away from active drama. I wasn't mad about it. I actually did remember that from that start she had said in her blog that her door was always open to Poppy to talk, and their relationship never got any closure which seemed to be one of her (Milena's) major issues.

But so like last night I see a post about how she's biding her time and crafting some....thing....and that Poppy has told her to speak out against some others in this group of critics and ex-friends/partners and she's going to do so, and then most concerningly- that she has new info she's going to share about Noehflake and Adrian.

So. Um....I know y'all have beef with Milena. I don't know her aside from reading her docs and thread. She seemed balanced and ok to me. But is the thinking here that she's turning on NF and esp TK? TK who she *found* and took dowh the testimony for? If this is the case....I don't understand. What's happening?

Are she and Poppy back together?? I'm asking Courtney bc I trust her at this point on a more gut level. But I felt I trusted @MzMilena too.

I would just love to know what's going on it at all possible lol. Thanks in advance!

ok so TLDR is

Milena burned a lot of bridges behind the scenes with shady behaviour that made a lot of us stop trusting her. Regardless of the kid gloves we tried to handle her with (a requirement with milena) when telling her she was crossing lines and going too far, that she was getting too close to this shit and needed to take a step back, that she was getting obsessed, Milena would lash out. Blame us all for her mental state, refuse to listen, and made the problems worse.

She then decided to "mend fences" with poppy. She *says* that shes being an undercover agent, but none of us take her at her word anymore. None of us trust a word she has to say anymore.

So shes just mended fences with Poppy, erps with her "Senpai" again, and lost majority of her friends in the process. Shes had many different excuses for why shes friends with poppy again, none of them matter

i dont trust her words, and her actions have shown me all i need to know

shes 2 faced