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#in my mind this is like seeing a scene through an idealized lens and then seeing it for what it really was
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the ghost of you // my chemical romance
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nanomooselet · 2 months
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My Brother's Keeper (I)
So, uh, I have seen the complaints that Stampede is "poorly-written". Often enough, really, to get... somewhat overly bent out of shape about it. Stampede was my entry into the story and I may have mentioned once or twice that I like it. You know. Just a little. This is not to say it's without its flaws, but it's technically very skilful, at least to my eyes. It's just… skilful in roughly twenty-two minute chunks, so it crams a whole lot into those chunks.
Vash tells Wolfwood he can "see [kindness] in his eyes" half an hour tops after hitting him with a truck. It's assumed that they're relying on previous characterisation of the two to carry this beat.
They're not.
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See, animated shows or films (and definitely in the case of Stampede) aren't only written. They're story-boarded, rendered, scored etc. and all the parts interlock with the other parts. It has to be taken as a whole: spoken, written, visual, musical, situational, compositional. These are twelve instalments of a single story where everything in it develops, comments on, or reflects what lies at the work's thematic heart, but you have to figure out how. It's not going to explain it to you. If the relationship between two characters appears strange, that's because there's more to it. And whenever you see something in it that visually echoes something else in it, get out your pasteboard and stick in two thumbtacks connected with string because the show's letting you know it's important.
Now, because I viewed Stampede first, my reaction to this part was very much like Wolfwood's ("???") but the more of the show I watched, the more sense it started to make, and the more I appreciated what it did for Vash's characterisation. Having since read the manga, in my opinion the boys aren't at all interacting like they're accessing past-life memories. Vash is too busy silently reeling over Jeneora Rock and dreading his confrontation with Knives to keep up the whacky act that the older WW pierced. Wolfwood is too young and trapped by his own hurt to empathise by seeing through Vash's false smiles.
There's something else going on with these two, and if you think carefully, it's clear what it is. There were two loved ones that Vash lost tragically early in life, and we can assume it's not Rem he's thinking of.* The heart of this series is "the song of the brothers."
Whose side are you on?
I have to choose.
Lo and behold, through that lens the character interaction made a whole lot more sense. And I want to talk about how.
So, according to the show's language, right from his very first appearance Wolfwood has a connection with Knives.
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In the ensuing scenes/episodes, it was then clear to me that Wolfwood isn't just connected to Vash's brother. He's a representative, serving as a sort of understudy while Vash journeys to confront the real thing. Anything and everything Wolfwood does or says is with that role in mind, because he's either playing along or fighting against it. It dictates his development as the show unfolds. He's got a job and he'll do it, but which of the twins' agendas is he ultimately serving as he does? Even he can't yet be sure.
This is a significant change. It has a huge effect on Wolfwood's characterisation; it's why he comes across as less confident, more surly - he's rebellious, but conflicted and immature. In the manga, the first time we meet Nick he's (mostly) his own man and he (mostly) makes his own decisions. While he isn't honest about his agenda, he is trying to temper Vash's idealism for honest and well-meaning reasons, albeit in a bitchy way. When he reveals himself, throwing down the coin halves, you feel the man is protesting too much so it'll make what's coming easier on Vash. Despite how deeply the two came to love each other they couldn't communicate their forgiveness, but Wolfwood is at his core a good man first who lost his way, then finds it again in Vash. **
Again by contrast in Stampede, Nick's identity isn't his own to shape (yet). He standing in for Knives, and he doesn't much like it. He does know more about the actual shape of things than the reporters - for instance, he doesn't bat an eyelash when Brad mentioned how long they've known Vash. So he can readily talk with Vash and test his convictions. They basically both know each other's biggest secrets already, so they don't have to make a whole production of getting to know each other.
But standing in for Knives is also why the introductory aw-look-he's-nice-really scene is so quickly revealed to be staged. Knives is the primary antagonist, not a neutral agent - he's the most dangerous and personal opponent the protagonists face. He's also cruel, controlling and manipulative. His "help" is anything but. Any gift he seems to freely give, like a protector, will either extract an awful cost down the line or have some hidden purpose (if he isn't "solving" a problem he himself created). Approach with caution.
(You know how Nick did something no one asked him to do then hit Vash, Meryl and Roberto with a massive bill for it like a dick? You know how he then violently rescued them from a situation he himself engineered so they'd have gratitude? Those are Knives's most basic manipulation tactics, when he isn't just hurling verbal abuse: I help you/I love you so I'm entitled to take this from/do this to you. Wolfwood is causing problems on purpose by acting out because it's funny, and knows he won't get whatever he's demanding. Knives thinks he's helping, and rarely hears when he's told "no".
Also, both the English and the Japanese have Roberto calling Wolfwood someone who kills with a smile on his face. He doesn't, really, but we have met someone else who does.)
That means like every other character, Wolfwood isn't quite himself. Not yet.
And that's actually awesome. Because it speaks to who the other characters are - specifically, about Vash.
(Part II)
(Part III)
(Part IV)
(Part V)
(Part VI)
(Part VII)
* OR COULD IT BE, as inevitably assumed on tumblr when two men are in proximity, unspoken romantic desire????
I'm not saying it can't be a factor, but it doesn't explain why they start having discussions over their principles like they've known each other for years. Or at least, to me it doesn't. As I've said I don't ship them. If you disagree, it's totally fine! Hear me out and decide for yourself. There's no reason to believe both can't be true.
** By what's coming, I mean the same development that eventually comes to every iteration of Wolfwood. You know the one. And by "they loved each other" I don't mean necessarily mean romantically. My personal belief is that there were mutual feelings along those lines, but they're both too emotionally reticent to acknowledge them and might not have regardless. But that's just me!
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brookheimer · 10 months
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i feel very mixed on shiv's ending, particularly her choice to return to tom -- i think it makes sense from a thematic/character arc perspective and is a powerful yet devastating indictment of both shiv and the world that created her as well as showing that the cycle of abuse will always continue to cycle, that shiv will become her mother etc, but i also think it does not make sense from a character/internal logic perspective. it's a choice that makes sense from the writers, but not from shiv, not yet. it could've been a brilliant ending to her character, but is tainted for me by the less-than-ideal execution of it, which felt very rushed, making shiv's final submission to tom feel forced by the show rather than forced by the situation or honest to her character. the ending is not inherently misogynistic from the writers' side as i've seen some criticisms claim (it is a dark but real portrayal of misogyny within capitalist society and how it's internalized within the white women who end up at the hips of the CEOs who run it), but i do understand how it could feel that way. the show fails at building up to (and thus convincing us) that the version of shiv we currently know would so immediately subject herself to her mother's fate, so instead of it feeling like shiv's hand was forced by patriarchy to place herself into her worst nightmare, it instead feels like the show itself was the thing that forced shiv to take that route, which does leave a sour taste in the mouth. it doesn't feel like the result of a choice shiv would make or the impact of patriarchal society bearing down, it just feels rushed and thus wrong. shiv would've benefitted immensely from a few more episodes or even just a few scenes dedicated to teasing out her newfound willingness to subject herself to immense disrespect in order to remain close to power, but given that her entire character has always been defined by her inability to do just that unless forced to (which i don't think she was in this situation as she could've easily not waited in the car for tom, not put her hand in his, but she did), her return to tom feels hard to comprehend, and her near immediate submission to him hard to stomach.
(read more under the cut because jesus christ did this get long)
in my mind, at least, i've always understood shiv as being respect-driven rather than power-driven -- she wants power, yes, but more than anything she wants to be taken seriously and respected and seen as a legitimate player, and time and time again we've seen her blow up situations that would've been very advantageous long-term because she felt disrespected and needed to speak up and force people to take her seriously (which, ironically, typically results in the opposite). shiv's overarching goal is power, but her immediate necessity is always respect. her dignity is her number one priority at any given moment, even when it shouldn't be, even when it stops her from attaining the success and power she wants. i can kind of understand shiv going against kendall because of this -- she's always had a very, very narrow lens whenever she feels like she's being disrespected, and even though it is infinitely more humiliating for your (somewhat ex) husband to betray you and boot you out of the CEO position behind your back at the behest of your supposed closest ally (and for you to still vote for them after that!!!) than it is for you to magnanimously allow your brother to be CEO (which would publicly be seen as a choice, as telly etc said - sibs need to stand united behind one chosen CEO - rather than shiv being out of the loop and fucked to infinity), the narrowness of her vision upon seeing kendall about to win makes it impossible for her to think about that legitimately. it's not just jealousy, it's indignity: shiv feels she earned CEO through her machinations with mattson and feels genuinely sick seeing the loganified kendall grinning at the head of the table, hearing his "that's fucking right" and witnessing his cocky entitlement to the job that belonged to her. so, she does what she always does when she feels disrespected, when she feels her dignity is at stake, and impulsively blows everything to fuck, including her own best interests. that makes sense for shiv, at least somewhat -- i still think that as much as she wouldn't want ken as CEO she'd feel like at least w that outcome she'd be seen as a player and a deciding factor, whereas with mattson/tom she'd be viewed as a pathetic fucked-over nothing woman pawn etc (a situation of unparalleled indignity imo), but i can rationalize her choice to go against ken anyways as being part of the narrowed field of vision she always gets upon feeling disrespected by men in her life that makes it impossible for her to think strategically (and i guess even though the disrespect was greater and more humiliating from tom/mattson than ken, ken was the most recent most present and most lifelong source so that's all she could focus on; seeing him like logan was too much to bear). it's hard to imagine shiv publicly throwing her vote behind two men who publicly fucked her as humiliatingly as mattson and tom just did, even if the other option is kendall, but i think that's part of it -- it's fundamentally illogical, even from her disrespect-lens, because there's just something about kendall specifically being in charge that she's never been able to stomach. it's visceral and impulsive. it's not meant to make "sense." it's just what she feels she has to do to preserve her own dignity, even though it works directly against those same interests realistically. it wasn't executed very well, making it hard to entirely buy it given just how publicly humiliating the alternative is, but it can still be chalked up to her historically one-track-mind when it comes to indignity by the hands of kendall in particular. it's a last-ditch attempt for shiv to at least feel like she's maintaining her dignity, her self-respect, as counterintuitive as it actually is. it makes sense. i can stomach it.
again, shiv's fatal flaw (in logan's eyes and aside from her original sin of being a woman) has always, always been her inability to shut up and make the smart move in situations where she feels she's being disrespected or not taken seriously. if shiv stayed quiet during that dinner with the pierces, maybe she would've been logan's CEO, but no, she couldn't stop herself, she needed to feel she was being taken seriously, she burst out 'cmon, dad, just tell them it's going to be me.' she is unable to play it smart, to keep quiet, to win when winning means perceived disrespect. she's allergic to it. even on a personal level, she shoots herself in the foot constantly because of this: she is unable to let herself have the things she wants because she can't put herself in positions that open her up to disrespect and perceived inferiority. she can't be vulnerable because she needs to be respected. tom asks her if he could 'try to make love to her' in episode one of this season, and even though she clearly wants to, she says 'no, i don't think so, tom.' tom tells her he 'wants her, wants this' back in episode six, and even though she clearly wants that too, she draws back and says 'well then you shouldn't have betrayed me.' shiv is fundamentally incapable of allowing herself to remain in possibly advantageous situations when she feels at risk of being seen as lesser, of being disrespected, of being perceived as weak. that is her response to patriarchy. when patriarchal forces bear down, shiv is unable to grin and bare it -- she has a short fuse, a sharp tongue, and an inability to entertain even a second of being treated like The Woman, of being looked down upon, especially when it's for her gender. it's the one thing she cannot do, cannot let herself do, and it's why she fails to "win" over and over and over again. she shoots herself in the foot the second her patriarchy disrespect sensors tingle. she makes the wrong choice, the dumb choice, the one that makes her feel like she stood up for herself in the moment but ends up leaving her powerless and helpless in the end. that's the only explanation for why she chose to vote against kendall (the clearly better option for her long-term as she'd 1) be respected as part of the decision, as someone who helped choose the CEO rather than a Woman who got fucked over and had the door slammed in her face by her husband and close ally simply because she possessed a womb, and 2) probably be head of ATN or some other area of waystar, she'd have actual power within the company and be respected as a legitimate source of power rather than the CEO-to-be made CEO's humiliated wife -- if she was capable of making the smart, selfish choice in terms of power instead of having a hair-trigger reaction to gendered disrespect and cocky male superiority, she would have voted kendall. but she is not capable of doing that. she never has been. so she voted tom and mattson.
so what i still cannot for the life of me understand is what would compel this shiv, the one who cannot stomach indignity even when power's on the line, to immediately return to tom's side the second he beckons her, which is like five minutes after he becomes CEO (the job she was promised) by mattson (who gave it to tom instead of shiv because 'why get the baby lady if i can get the man who put the baby inside her?'). it makes perfect, cruel, devastating sense from a show perspective, and that's what most people are talking about, understandably. it's a devastating yet unavoidable, inevitable outcome. she's left with no other choice once she makes the decision against kendall, and patriarchy compels her to play the good wife to stay close to power. except, like... she does still have a choice. she does not have to go back to tom's car. she does not have to sit patiently waiting for him. she does not have to quietly congratulate him on his victory. she does not have to place her hand in his. these are all choices she made very voluntary. they're choices between maintaining her dignity and self-respect at the cost of future power versus maintaining the potential for future power at the cost of her dignity and self-respect -- the classic siobhan roy conundrum. she's been faced with it time and time again (even just five minutes prior with kendall) and she has never, not once, chosen the latter of her own volition. she hasn't been able to. that's her fatal flaw. maybe i could stomach her going back to tom if she didn't congratulate him, didn't place her hand in his when he expectantly held his out -- then some dignity would be preserved, maybe. but her complete and total submission for the sake of future power does not make sense with her lifelong inability to do just that. it makes sense that this would be her eventual endpoint, but we have seen nothing that implies shiv would so willingly subject herself to this feminine submission of wife and mother before person or source of power, to the complete and utter humiliation of being the quiet wife at the side of the man who knifed her in the back (and notably handed said knife by the man she thought her closest ally) in order to steal the job she fought for her entire life and, in her opinion, had earned. maybe she would come back to him eventually, for love or (more likely) for power, but it is incredibly hard to believe that shiv 'impulsive when faced with indignity' roy would be capable of immediately and publicly playing the role of the good wife after such intense and public humiliation at the hands of her husband.
really, the way i feel about the shiv ending is similar to how i feel about the daenerys ending -- unlike most people, i really wasn't that against the daenerys outcome. i thought it made a lot of sense and was interesting, devastating, and fascinating. i thought there had been a few signs all along and that that ending for her would make sense and be far more interesting than a Hooray ! Girlboss ! ending. however, it was poorly executed -- it was rushed. it did not make sense from where daenerys was at that point in the text. it could've worked, it could've worked brilliantly, but it needed more time to build and fester in order for her ultimate turn to feel earned rather than forced for the sake of the point the writers wanted to make. that's kind of how i feel about shiv. i get the ending and i don't think it's inherently bad or misogynistic or anything, but it feels like the writers saw the possibility for a shiv 'mommed' ending and immediately took it, with little regard to what actually made sense for shiv herself to do in that moment. outcome > character. that's frustrating for me particularly for succession because my like number one reason for adoring succession as much as i do is their consistent refusal to operate the way most media does (using the characters as instruments to achieve the plot/outcome the writers want), instead prioritizing following the characters themselves in a way that feels honest and real. it's character-driven, not plot or ending driven. i think that this fell by the wayside a few times in the latter half of this season simply because there was so much that needed to happen in such a short space of time (especially during the finale), but in my opinion, at least, the most egregious case is shiv. given more time, more development, more build-up, the last shot of her hand in tom's would've struck the chord the writers wanted it to -- and for some people, it did anyways! but for me, it rang out and fell nauseatingly flat. it felt hollow and wrong and unearned. shiv could end up becoming her mother, that feels entirely possible, but not in this particular sense, not yet. in what world would siobhan roy willingly choose to be seen as nothing more than a woman hanging off her husband's arm, especially when said husband had publicly humiliated her and ruined her entire life just five minutes prior? when, just five (metaphorical) minutes prior, she was the one poised to be CEO and everyone knew it? when now everyone will see her on tom's arm and whisper and gawk? she has become her worst fear, yes, but unlike kendall, it does not feel earned. it does not feel like she has actually become her worst fear. it feels like the show forced her to. not patriarchy or the situation or her own desire for power, but the show itself. that's what feels so shitty.
i wouldn't necessarily call the writing misogynistic as a result of this, as it's less a flaw of misogyny and more a flaw of bad, rushed writing that could happen to any character. it's the same as with daenerys -- although (somewhat unlike succession) there were many, many aspects of GoT's writing that were deeply misogynistic, especially in the last season (just look at fucking brienne), the core issue with the daenerys plotline is not one of misogyny but of time. they did not give daenerys the time needed to become the version of herself seen burning down the city. that could've easily been a focus of previous episodes, but it wasn't. they simply did not develop her enough for that turn to make sense yet. it could make sense, hypothetically, at some point down the line, but at that point it felt sudden, off-putting, and wrong. shiv could easily become her mother. that's been made evident especially regarding her relationship to pregnancy/children, love, and vulnerability (or the lack thereof). but for this ending to make sense, we would have needed to see signs of shiv imitating her mother's willingness to be relegated to the sidelines, to bring out the food while the men eat and make deals, in order to remain tangential to power. that is a concession shiv roy had never been willing to make prior to the last five minutes of the entire show. other signs of shiv imitating caroline or falling prey to patriarchal norms throughout the show are not enough to undo shiv's fundamental refusal to weather gender-related indignity even when doing so would benefit her. in my opinion, that's why the final five minutes of shiv's plotline were so unsatisfying.
shiv could become her mother, and her ending could be a devastating portrayal of the inability for even rich white women to escape their original sin of being a woman in a man's world, as well as a dark, ironic criticism of both women like shiv and the patriarchal world that breeds them into existence. but because the show did not develop shiv in this particular direction and because her entire character thus far has been defined by her self-destructive insistence on being respected at all costs, shiv's ending did not land the way it could've, or should've.
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thealogie · 4 months
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I'm sorry but I'm about to treat your ask box like a confessional.
You kind of deserve it, though, because due to your Sherlock rewatch posts I've been forced to remember that 1. Sherlock is a show that exists and 2. that I wrote Sherlock fanfic when I was 13... about SHERLOCK and MOLLY.
In my defence, I was a deeply deeply deeply repressed bisexual who hadn't realized it yet - so all of the obvious and insane gay stuff between Sherlock and John just completely sailed over my head. Also propaganda worked really well on me as a child - so basically I was the ideal viewer for Moftiss lol. There'd be scenes where people mistook Sherlock and John for a couple and I'd go 'huh that's kind of strange that keeps happening' but then it would be played off as a joke and I'd go 'oh yes of course, silly me! Gay people only exist as the punchline! Sherlock and John would NEVER be interested in each other that way. I can't believe anyone would ever think that haha.'
Flash forward to 2017. I'm 17 years old. I've kissed other women by now and have had my brain chemistry rewritten by copious amounts of slash fanfiction. Still young, but wiser to the ways of the world than I once was. The last time I watched Sherlock, I had been 14 years old. Sherlock season 4 airs. I watch it with my mom. It's so bad my brain immediately initiates a trauma response and wipes all memory of Sherlock away. This continues for years. The only times I remember Sherlock exists is whenever I joyfully watch hbomerguy's Sherlock Is Garbage video while I'm knitting or painting or something. Also whenever I have to type in a password for an account I made when I was 13 - because my go-to password was 'SHERLOCKED' back then, unfortunately.
Flash forward to now. I'm 24 years old. And I start seeing your posts about Sherlock. Like a sleeper agent, it awakens something in me. Yesterday, I spent a perfectly good Saturday - one I could have spent doing literally anything else - reading Johnlock fanfiction. I am suddenly re experiencing the show through new eyes, seeing all the queerbait I never did before. Getting hate-crimed on the daily. I'm thinking about Sherlock at work, at my adult fucking job. I'm watching scenes from the show on youtube in my office, quickly and guiltily clicking away whenever a coworker comes to chat. I am considering doing my own rewatch. I am realizing for the first time that John and Sherlock were literally in love. It's the only lens through which you can view the show and still have it be somewhat enjoyable. They literally put Mary in a wedding dress shooting Sherlock in his mind palace on TV. I feel like I'm having a religious experience, I feel like I'm insane, I feel like I'm 13 again. This is all vaguely November 5th-ish for me lol.
Anyway. I just thought you should know the impact your rewatch is having on the population. Sorry for the novel in your inbox. I've been desperately trying to find my old Sherlock x Molly fanfic to read for the lols but I think I deleted it off ffnet. I am both having the time of my life while also desperately hoping I forget Sherlock ever existed again soon. So, basically - thank you/curse you for this.
This is perhaps the best ask I’ve ever received?? I converted a sherlolly shipper in the year 2023? Listen I’d never wish a season 4 rewatch on anyone but I would highly recommend watching s1-2 and the wedding episode for a truly out of body experience. I felt more strongly about this show/ship than any other in my life and it was STILL worse than I remembered
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ciderjacks · 1 year
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Some tips for writing Abed i guess since a lot of fics write him weird:
Abed talks a LOT. He rambles and crams a lot of information into everything he says. He also over-explains basically everything he does and says. I feel like when people write him they for whatever reason go for this stoic shy character, when in reality he’s extremely talkative and stoked to connect with people.
he has no filter. This sort of ties into the first one but he cannot keep secrets, he blurts things out and he says whatever is on his mind at any given moment.
He references movies to connect with people, or express feelings he ordinarily has trouble expressing. He loves people, and he loves making friends! He just has trouble with understanding them, so he uses pop-culture to bridge that gap. Think “my dinner with Abed” or the breakfast club reference he makes in the first episode, both of these are examples of him using movies to either express his own needs or connect with others despite not being able to fully understand them.
his self esteem is through the roof. Again I feel like a lot of fic authors misinterpret Abed’s trauma as a sign that he doesn’t like himself- he does like himself, he likes himself a Lot, he just doesn’t trust that others truly like him or care about him because historically in his life they haven’t. I see so many fics have him say things like “I’m not good enough for my friends…they deserve better than me…..” when in reality he’s a lot more like “people only want to be around me when they think they can fix me, and when they realize they can’t they’ll hurt me or leave me.”
he idealizes tv and movies, which is one of the other large reasons he views the world through a sitcom lens (besides meta purposes :P) he finds things like sitcoms easy to understand, and he finds comfort in the idea that people have a sort of .. “default character structure”, because that makes sense to him. He’s not crazy and he understands life isn’t a sitcom, its just the lens he chooses to view the world through because it’s the way he makes sense of things and people around him.
he has trouble understanding and dealing with (especially negative) emotions, both others and his own. He does his best but you can see in scenes where another character is experiencing a strong emotion, he just kind of sits there awkwardly. With his own emotions he also seems to lean extra hard into the “i’m in a tv show” thing, as we can see with the claymation and floor is lava episodes. Even when someone is experiencing positive emotions he usually seems to either mimic the reactions of others around him, or just smile politely to reciprocate and show he’s happy they’re happy.
That’s all for now I have more but I’ll write them later. Follow for more insane ramblings by me. Thank you goodbye.
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thunderblessedhero · 4 months
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———
[Attached: A live video feed. Or… snippets of one? The footage will fizzle out at random intervals, but during the stream’s rolling you manage to catch a few key moments.
In the first scene, you see August, carefully navigating their way down a dark corridor. Sheets of frost crawl up the sides of the cave walls around them, and you can see the young trainer shivering rather violently the further they press on, rubbing the sides of their arms to keep warm…
“Have… to keep moving…” They mutter to themself, voice wavering, right before the screen goes black.
A few minutes pass before the feed returns. Gizmo is pointing the camera over August’s shoulder, who now appears to be standing in the middle of a giant, frozen cavern. Spikes and pillars of ice are scattered throughout the room around them, and you notice their breaths coming out in white puffs. But the most eye-catching thing are the pair of imposing figures standing before them…
There’s an elderly man, with lank, pale green hair that sticks up in an unusual way, and a red lens over his right eye. He wears a long black cloak with a large collar concealing the bottom half of his face, the flowing fabric decorated with strange eye-like patterns. In his right hand, he wields a cane, with the logo of Team Plasma displayed on it.
Behind him stands… a Pokémon? A dragon type, you immediately assume. Its size and anatomy bring to mind the two legendary dragons of Unova, but whatever this creature is, it certainly isn’t either of them. Jagged armor of ice coat its scaly gray hide, and its two pale yellow eyes shine ominously like torchlight through the darkness. You can hear the beast’s rumbling inhales and exhales, flakes of snow dispersing from its nostrils whenever it breathes out.
The man, who you immediately jump to assume is its trainer, smirks towards August. He takes a relaxed step forward, cane clicking against the ground as his eyes to be analyzing the person before him.
“So, you decided to follow me after all?” he muses, raising a brow. “Well, allow me to formally welcome you to the Giant Chasm, young trainer- or should I say ex-trainer?”
August visibly tenses at that, but doesn’t say a thing as the man continues to monologue. “This sacred place is where Kyurem once fell to after the separation of the Original Dragon- and where its power resonates strongest. Here, it will easily be able to turn your precious Unova into a frozen wasteland!”
With a tap of his cane to the stone ground, the dragon- Kyurem, he called it- bellows in response, its shrill roar causing the cave floor to tremble violently below August’s feet. They gasp as they stumble a little, but hold their ground and balance themselves before shooting the cloaked man a steely glare.
“Why are you doing this, Ghetsis?” They cry out furiously. “You want Unova all to yourself, you want everyone to bend to your will- but why? Why go to such drastic lengths? This won’t give you the power to fix anything!”
Ghetsis simply scoffs at the child’s attempt at a retort, waving his hand dismissively. “Young one, you don’t seem to understand- the power part is all I care about. You think I still hold the ideals of the old Team Plasma; separating humans and Pokémon for the sake of a better world? I thought you would’ve understood by now that it was all just a ruse to sway the people over to my side,” His expression hardens, as he firmly slams the bottom of his cane back down. “Pokémon mean nothing to me, people mean nothing to me- if corrupting their hearts and using their sense of morality against them won’t work, then I will simply make them bow to me using brute force!”
August just growls under their breath, feeling their composure slipping as they reach for a Pokéball from their belt. Seeing this, the corners of Ghetsis’ mouth curl into a twisted grin.
“I have a memory that continues to haunt me,” he goes on calmly, ignoring August’s threatening stance. “Just one.”
He strolls over to the other side of Kyurem, tapping his finger pensively against the top of his cane as he casts a melancholy gaze towards the cave wall, brows furrowing as he appears to reminisce upon something. “That unpleasant look in your eyes reminds me of it,” he acknowledges August with an irritated side glare. “Burning with as much fiery conviction as that little nuisance from two years ago.”
“But,” his voice switches to a mockingly pleasant tone, as he turns and spreads his arms out to the sides. “All that aside, allow me to bestow upon a gift, to show my respect for making it this far. You’ve proved to be quite the thorn in Team Plasma’s side- even besting the Shadow Triad and Colress.”
His expression then morphs into a cold, unforgiving scowl. “I shall freeze you solid right here and now, so you may watch my glorious ascent! And then, you will suffer a fate far worse than the one I orchestrated for that pathetic excuse of a hero!”
With a snap of his fingers, he barks the command. “Kyurem! Glaciate!”
Before August can have a chance to react, the dragon obeys, inhaling in a sharp breath and standing to its full height. A pale white glow emits from its armor of frost, as what can only be described as a blizzard begins to swirl around the room in a ring of frigid winds. Slowly, levitating spears of ice begin to take shape, whirring around rapidly and circling in on August from all sides, preventing them from running. Once they reach full size, the blades begin to withdraw back, thrumming with Kyurem’s raw power as they prepare to land the finishing blow…
In a heartbeat, the icy spears spring forwards and hone in on August- and all they can do is crouch to the ground, throw their arms up over their head, and pray for a miracle.
“FUSION BOLT!”
You barely register the familiar voice that cries out from somewhere offscreen, before Kyurem’s attack is abruptly intercepted by a crackling, electric blue light. Gizmo gets knocked back by the blast, and yet again, the footage cuts to static.
The feed returns after a bit of a longer period of silence this time. The camera wobbles as Gizmo weakly lifts itself back up, but as it rises from the ground and steadies you can see something past the grains of dust covering the camera.
August was knocked onto their back, but seems relatively unharmed. In front of them… there’s a familiar figure. Green hair swaying behind him, you watch as N stands before his friend’s attacker. At his side… is none other than his old companion, the legendary dragon of ideals- Zekrom.
The awe-inspiring sight of the divine creature in the flesh is almost enough to distract you from the sound of N’s voice ringing out through the cavern. “I understand now why Zekrom had been acting strange, vanishing for a whole month,” he states. “She knew Kyurem was suffering- at your hands, no less.”
“Suffering?” Ghetsis chuckles condescendingly, completely unfazed. “For the freak who’s supposed to understand the hearts of Pokémon, you’ve clearly had a misread on Kyurem’s.” He gestures dramatically to the frozen beast at his side. “I have given Kyurem purpose! Forgotten for centuries, left to rot beneath the ice by its other halves- if anything, you should be thanking me! Now it shall have the honor of assisting me in paving a way to a glorious new world!”
Zekrom snarls at that, to which Kyurem retorts with an indignant snuff. From the way the dragons glare at each other, you can see a long festering bitterness behind each of their eyes, telling an unspoken tale of history between them. You can only imagine what it is…
N looks between the two dragons, biting his lip as he turns to face the man before him once more. “So you’ve twisted its heart and its pain to make it do your own bidding…” he growls. “…Just as you did with me. And countless others. Here I had hoped you had changed, but unfortunately I can’t say I’m very surprised.”
He sucks in a deep breath, before stepping forward. “I will not allow selfish humans to make Pokémon suffer,” he declares. “Unova- it isn’t perfect, but I like it here. It’s the place that taught me to live as a human…” His hand slides up to grip the black and white stone hanging from his necklace, as he casts a momentary glance back at August. “…and made me notice the harmony of people and Pokémon living alongside one another. And I will do everything in my power to protect that harmony- especially from the likes of you.”
Ghetsis falls silent, watching N with this unreadable frown plastered upon his face. But then, it cracks into a grin, before a dark chuckle escapes Ghetsis as he claps his hands together.
“Good, good,” he says. “That was a moving expression of your determination! It seems the education I provided you in order to make you king wasn’t a complete waste!”
“But I still haven’t forgotten that even after everything I had done for you, all the kindness I extended you-” Ghetsis glowers, slamming his staff again. “Took you in, raised you, cared for you, taught you everything you know- you still had the gall to selfishly turn on Team Plasma and thwart my plans! I was supposed to use your abilities to rule Unova!”
Then, he closes his eyes, relaxes himself, and straightens up. “But, I will forgive you for all of that as well- for you have bestowed upon me the final piece needed in order to carry out my mission-”
“Zekrom, which you were kind enough to bring me,” he gestures to the giant black dragon at N’s side. “Is the key to unlocking Kyurem’s true potential! You’ve saved me quite the trouble. I was originally counting on the arrival of her counterpart, but the goddess of Ideals will work just as well.”
He then raises a hand from his cloak, tapping his chin. “Well, actually, that’s not entirely true- you were a bit of a plan B. I had a feeling you’d come after us after we fired those ice missiles into Opelucid City- and of course, displayed to everyone the demise of that little hero of Truth you hold oh so dearly…”
N grits his teeth, and Ghetsis smiles, knowing he’s struck a nerve. “You will not get away for what you did to them,” the young man seethes. “Your plan- it will never work. It’s an ugly formula.”
Brushing off his threat, Ghetsis simply continues. “Oh, but I assure you, it will!” He switches his cane to his other hand so he can reach for something inside the pocket of his cloak. From it, he pulls out a triangular device- it resembles a syringe, of sorts, with a color pallet resembling Kyurem’s. “With the help of these- the DNA Splicers! Watch and learn!”
He turns to Kyurem, and promptly stabs the device into the beast’s shoulder. Kyurem hisses and recoils in pain- its eyes and the yellow horn jutting out between its ice helmet beginning to thrum with energy.
Cracks dance across the ice trapping its wing-like appendages, before they completely shatter- allowing pink, sharp-ended tendrils to burst forth from the dragons’ body. They loom menacingly in the air above Kyurem for a beat longer, before suddenly lunging themselves at Zekrom like whips.
Realizing they were coming for his partner, N whirls and cries out to the Legendary. “ZEKROM!”
With a shriek of terror, Zekrom launches into the skies, twirling around wildly to narrowly avoid the tendrils as they grab for her. She moves with incredible speed, managing to outlast them for a good while, but the pursuit is cut short sooner than you had hoped- Kyurem is faster, and the tendrils expand out to entangle Zekrom within their grasp. As they tighten their hold on her, she roars helplessly as they begin to pull against her and drag her back to the ground.
The tendrils almost seem to drain her energy like a leech, leaving her no choice but to let herself plummet from the air. In her descent, her body is encased in a blue light- and in seconds, she’s retreated into the form of a round, black stone that soon clatters pitifully to the floor.
N stiffens in shock at the sight of his mighty companion being brought to defeat, just like that. “Z-Zekrom…”
“Kyurem!” Ghetsis shouts another order, pointing his staff in the direction of Zekrom’s slumbering form. “Absorb the Dark Stone, now!”
Stomping forwards, Kyurem extends out its clawed wings and seems to draw the stone towards it with a stream of swirling pink light, like some sort of magnetic pulse. The orb hovers over Kyurem’s head, and the creature almost appears to take in an inhale of relief, like it had been awaiting this moment.
The Dark Stone begins to shrink in size, its power getting vacuumed through the swirls of energy attaching it to Kyurem. The icy beast closes its eyes, as a white crackles of electricity begin to shoot up from the ground around it…
The feed flickers out again, but not for as long this time.
When it cuts back in, you can see Kyurem- or… Zekrom…? It looks like Kyurem, but it’s gained many of the electric deity’s traits. The strange and somewhat terrifying amalgamation of the two dragons stands tall and menacingly beside Ghetsis, breathing in and out heavily, puffs of steam swirling out from its nostrils. Veins of blue energy stretch out from its ice-plated shoulders, connecting to several slots along its bulky, unnaturally twisted tail.
N is stunned speechless. He stands there, hand trembling as he beholds the monstrosity his legendary companion had been absorbed into. August hesitantly rises to their feet behind him, eyes bulged with shock.
Amused by their reactions, Ghetsis snickers darkly. “Do you understand now, N?” he says patronizingly. “If you had simply become king, none of this would have had to happen. No one would’ve had to die. Unova would’ve remained beautiful…”
It’s clear that the man’s words have their intended effect- N’s eyes trail to the ground, as he clenches his fist and grits his teeth. You can practically see the gears turning behind his eyes, trying to think of anything he can do, anything he can say back- but nothing comes out.
“And now, I shall rule over with an iron fist,” Ghetsis continues, that ever present twisted grin still on his face as he rises his cane up triumphantly. “-all because you were too weak hearted to rise up into the role I wasted decades preparing you for.”
“LEAVE HIM ALONE!”
The shout that echoes throughout the chasm causes N to look up, his mouth falling open when he raises his head to see none other than August- standing firmly between him and the merged Kyurem, a Pokéball clutched in hand.
“You don’t get to talk to him like that,” August hisses, and you can’t help but notice something about them has changed… Their voice almost sounded deeper, carrying an ethereal echo to it, exuding power and determination. There was an unnatural, crystal blue glow illuminating their dark brown eyes, swirling in wisps of light like the flow of water.
“Oh?” Ghetsis cocks a brow at them, not very amused by their attempt at intimidation. “So it would seem there’s more to you than just an impudent, nosy child from some nowhere town. Well then…” He clasps his hands together, a challenging smirk appearing on his features. “I was just planning on freezing you two solid where you stood, but now my interest is piqued. If you’re so bold as to continue standing against a force as unstoppable as my Kyurem, then I’ll give you a fighting chance- face down Kyurem, alone!”
N takes in a sharp breath, tensing up in fear, before turning to August and quickly shaking his head. “August, don’t.” he pleaded. “This isn’t your fight-”
“Yes, it is,” August replied firmly, without even looking back at him. They grip the Pokéball in their hand tighter, their stance unwavering as they address Ghetsis once more. “I accept your challenge, Ghetsis.”
Kyurem’s trainer is silent for a moment, eyes calm and calculating as he stares August down, as if he’s trying to read them for any hidden fear beneath their steely gaze. Then, his sinister grin returns, and he takes a step back- making a sweeping gesture with his arm towards the open space that would act as their battlefield. “Very well,” he snickers. “Be my guest. I for one can’t wait to see all that fighting spirit dwindle from your eyes as Kyurem mercilessly crushes each of your pathetic Pokémon!”
August didn’t bother to give a retort back- they just remained silent as they stepped forwards, unshaken in the shadow of their glowering, godly opponent. Out came their first Pokémon- A Samurott, the jagged point on its armored head glistening in the dim light pouring in through the cavern. August threw out the first command- and just like that, the battle began.
“RAZOR SHELL!”
Samurott lunges forward with one of it sword-shaped shells drawn, slashing at Kyurem’s neck. The tip of the blade drags across the dragon’s black and gray scales, but to the Water-type starter’s shock- barely even leave a scratch.
In response, Kyurem simply swatted the otter Pokémon away with its heavy, ice-covered arm, and August grit their teeth as they watched their starter tumble across the ground. Thankfully, Samurott landed on its feet- but not long before Kyurem let loose a blast of raw, draconic energy that it’d have to scramble away to avoid.
This battle with seemingly impossible odds raged on for what felt like well over an hour- with August switching out frequently between Pokémon every two turns or so to try and avoid any knockouts. That strategy wouldn’t be effective forever, though- it only lead to Kyurem getting more annoyed; and more viscous with its retaliations.
One by one, each of August’s team began to succumb to exhaustion. “SHIVER!” They cried out as their Beartic was brought to his knees with a pained grunt, having just endured a brutal Slash attack, before keeling over onto his side in defeat.
Growling under their breath, August recalled him to his Pokéball- clicking it back onto their belt before sending in their trusty Samurott once more. They took a moment to examine Kyurem’s condition- it was growing tired, and even suffering from a burn their Darmanitan had inflicted earlier on in the fight, but it looked capable of holding out a bit longer. Much longer than their Samurott- who looked like he was standing on his last leg, even using one of his swords to support his weight.
The outcome of this match wasn’t likely going to end in August’s favor- that much was certain. Seeing this, N ran forwards, grabbing the teen’s shoulder to try and urge them to back down now while they still could.
“August, it’s not worth it,” he begged. “That thing is too powerful! We have to run- NOW!”
“No!” August almost screamed back, yanking their arm away. To N’s surprise, he was greeted by the sight of tears beginning to pour down from their eyes when they whirled around to face him. “I was useless back in Opelucid City- I’m not letting the same thing happen again now! We might not even get another chance to stop him!”
“Listen to the freak, child,” Ghetsis taunted from across the battlefield. “Victory is already within my grasp! Turn back now, and maybe you’ll live long enough to see me rise to the top!”
Clenching their fist, August turned back to Ghetsis and Kyurem defiantly. Just as they were to about to dish out another order to their Samurott, however, they stopped upon noticing the blue tubes protruding from the legendary dragon’s back start to pulsate with light once more. Rearing its head back, Kyurem let out a bellowing screech as it took a deep inhale of frosty air, slowly building up a giant chunk of glowing ice between its maw. At the same time, sparks began crackling in the back of its throat, imbuing the icicle with electrical energy.
It was- without a doubt- building up to be a devastating strike. One that might just cause the whole room to collapse. Without hesitation, N firmly grabbed August’s arm and yanked them away, ignoring their protests while reaching for the camera and snatching Gizmo out of the air. Everything becomes an unintelligible blur, and all you can hear are footsteps pounding against stone and N’s frantic panting as he makes a run for it.
There’s a rumble, and you catch a flash of red heat whoosh past in all the chaos… Everything begins to shake violently as an explosion goes off in the background, and you hear N and August yelp as they tumble forwards. Gizmo lets out a series of distressed beeps as he rolls across the ground, cracks spreading across his screen. For a moment, your heart drops, thinking they weren’t able to escape the blow…
…But then, Gizmo looks up. N is crumpled on the ground, having thrown himself over August to protect them. With a groan, he manages to sit up, and beholds the figure waiting behind him…
His jaw drops open at the sight of brilliant, flowing white feathers, aglow with wispy, orange flames. The radiant being who’d come to his rescue rises to its full height, craning its long neck back as it lets out an ethereal scream towards the heavens…
You hear N whisper its name under his breath. “Reshiram…”
And on its back, you catch a glimpse of a figure with pink hair.]
———
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loving-jack-kelly · 1 year
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I love Jack Kelly so much and so I adore your posts. so curious on how you feel about some in the fandom treating Jack like a villain because of his ‘betrayal’ and don’t think his reasoning is ‘good enough’? it irritates me to no end because they have no idea who Jack is.
oh anon this is one of my favorite things to talk about how did you know?
the thing is. this is addressed specifically in the show. So Jack, an escaped "criminal" and homeless orphan who is also the leader/protector of a gang of other homeless orphans, gets put in an impossible position. "cowboy or convict [Pulitzer] wins either way." he has two options when he chooses to "betray" the strike:
option one: take the money, do his best to stop the strike from continuing, and run away from the only home he's ever known to a dream he knows probably won't ever be reality (and let's be real here, Jack is a dreamer but he isn't stupid. he knows that Sante Fe will never be all it is in his head but he clings to that hope because he's idealistic, knowing full well it's not gonna work the way he wishes it would if he ever does make it out). taking option one means breaking the trust of the people he's looking out for, but it also means they're safe. the strike is over, they stop getting beat up, they still have work and therefore won't starve.
option two: refuse the money, let Snyder take him to the Refuge, and let the strike continue knowing full well that Pulitzer can and will ensure that all of the people he cares about are locked up, too. including Davey and Les, who have so much more to lose comparatively because they're not homeless orphans, they have a home and a family. Pulizter is directly threatening all of the people Jack loves, and Jack knows he'll make good on it, and Jack knows how bad the Refuge is.
so for Jack, this boils down to a simple choice: protect them, or let them get hurt. and for Jack, that's a non-choice
everything that Jack does is filtered through this lens of selflessness that borders on self-destruction. the end justifies the means as long as the end is that everyone he loves is safe and cared for. he will provoke a fight with the delanceys if it means nobody else gets hit. he will let all of them think he's betraying them if it means they're safe. who cares if they hate him as long as they're alive and out of the Refuge?
you can see it in that scene. he comes in confident and guns blazing, and doesn't change his mind at all until Pulitzer brings the other newsies into it. he doesn't care if he gets hurt. he knows that a strike is dangerous, and as long as Pulizter is focused on him, who cares? he's fighting for the most important thing in the world, his kids. but when Pulizter is threatening his kids, and the choice is lose them or let them get hurt. well. who cares if he's happy, as long as they're safe? who cares if Santa Fe has always been a pipe dream that he had no real intention of following, he'll survive. he'll be fine. they'll be fine. and that's what matters.
and listen. if jack had really intended on running to Santa Fe, he would have already done it. why didn't he hop a train? why is he so insistent on paying for a ticket? to me, it screams more of that idealism. will he ever realistically be able to save enough to get there? no. and that's part of the comfort of the dream: as long as it isn't real, it can't disappoint him (just be real is all I'm asking, not some painting in my head, 'cause I'm dead if I can't count on you today. I got nothing if I ain't got Santa Fe. how much more scared of Santa Fe disappointing him than staying here is he? i bet a lot. he needs the dream to be perfect).
but of course he chooses to protect his kids because that's what he does. that's what he's always done. that's why he's their leader. he refuses to let them get left behind, he refuses to see them hurt, and he will let them think the worst of him if it means at least they're safe.
on the rooftop, katherine says "I need to know you didn't cave for the money" and Jack says no almost dismissively because of course he didn't. obviously he didn't. Jack who tried to refuse payment from Medda because why should somebody who cares for him need to pay him? Jack who drops two bits, half a day's profit, on somebody he just met? Jack who only started this whole thing in the first place because he knows how bad it will be for the kids who don't move as many papers as him? please. why would he cave for the money? and Katherine was there, she heard Pulitzer threaten the other kids, she should know this.
and then at the end. the strike settled, jack should probably be hitting the road, right? because how could they want him to stay, now that he's betrayed them? except he didn't, and they know he didn't, now that they know what happened. he didn't do it for the money, and he never would have. he only did it because it was the only way he could protect everyone.
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abandonedelves · 5 months
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I've been thinking a lot about the criticisms made about Izzy's death over the last few days and I thought I would drop my own personal interpretation on 2 common statements I've been seeing r.e. Izzy being represented as a "suicidal character" as well as him telling Ed the crew loves him in his dying moments.
[Big TW for talking about suicide and death through the lens of a narrative and thematic analysis (i.e. Not going into real life experiences). Disclaimer that this lengthy post has ZERO Izzy hate, I love him as a character and this is just my thoughts on how the show writers might have intended the S2 story to be interpreted.]
"Izzy's death is a dismissal of people with suicidal experiences/behaviour"
While I think that having a character point a gun to their head and shooting is a very literal representation of a suicide, I'm not sure if what's happening in that scene is supposed to be the viewed as the culmination of a suicidal/depressed character's behaviour (well at least not on Izzy's part, Ed for sure). I will agree there is definitely trauma and illness in Izzy's mind, but I read Izzy's intentions in the gun scene as him wanting to die out of obligation to the pirate code.
In S1, Izzy can be seen as a man desperately forcing himself and those around him into the role of being a real hardcore manly pirate. Metaphorically, he's representing the voice of toxic masculinity in S1, the kind of beliefs that align with sentiments such as "I must fulfill the role that society expects of me" and "I'd rather die than be seen as weak". With that in mind I think it makes more sense in S2, Izzy is begging the crew to kill him. That's just pirate tradition, he's been discarded and replaced by his captain, so he obviously has to die, that's what happens to all the other great pirates, isn't it?
Ed- in his own selfish way albeit- gives Izzy the opportunity survive with honour: putting the gun in his hand and letting him shoot the captain, a mutiny, keeping in line with what he believes to be Izzy's ideals of the pirate code. In the moment when Izzy comes to terms with the fact he loves Ed too much to kill him he turns the gun to himself, realizing that his "weakness" (LOVE!) is his downfall and he needs to pay the price with his life to keep up the piratey status quo. "I loved you best I could" is Ed's direct response to Izzy's refusal to mutiny, in his mind he'd tried to fix his wrongs by meeting Izzy on pirate terms- death and betrayal- rather than doing something un-piratey like talking about their feelings.
That scene was such a beautiful catalyst for Izzy to start questioning his beliefs about being a pirate but I'm not sure it makes him a "suicidal" character in the grand spectrum of the narrative. More like a broken soul who managed to survive drinking the kool-aid, deciding then to start acting as himself, whittling, singing, wearing makeup, and just generally being a sassy little shit.
"Izzy tells Ed the crew is his family and that they love him but clearly they don't so that doesn't make sense"
I see the point being raised: because the crew were tortured by Blackbeard and tried to kill him in turn, that they would never consider him family or be able love him. That's understandable! But looking back to the first season, couldn't it also be said that Izzy was similarly terrible to the crew AND was almost killed by them? And even then, they came to respect Izzy as a member of the crew and even keep him alive after Blackbeard expects them to kill him. This at least in some way shows that the crew has the capability to forgive Blackbeard, but I agree at that specific point in the season finale they may not fully be there yet (I'm attributing this one to Max for only giving us 8 eps, with 2 more I'm confident that point of forgiveness could've been reached!!!).
Regardless of that, I think it's fair to examine the the literal vs intentional meaning behind what Izzy says to Ed. When I talked about the crew's mutiny in S2 I refer to Ed as "Blackbeard", I do this because at the time of the mutiny, that's who Ed is trying to be. Just like the book illustration in S1, Ed has strapped 9 guns to himself and covered his face in black makeup. He's living up to what people expect Blackbeard to be, the crew only refers to him as "Blackbeard" during that time too (not 100% on that fact but pretty confident).
The crew hates Blackbeard, we know that, Ed knows that, and most importantly, Izzy knows that. This is what ties into his final words to Ed so well. Izzy admits that he is the one who kept "Blackbeard" alive (whether that is true or not, that is clearly what he thinks). But then on the other hand, there's "Ed". Ed, who Izzy tried so hard to stomp out in S1, Ed, the one who loves soft, simple things and openly weeps over his dying friend. I will never stop thinking about Izzy asking Blackbeard to "just be Ed" and when he looks at Ed's sobbing face he confirms it's happening right before him with the weak "there he is".
In S2, Izzy has realized that he was wrong about "Blackbeard" but believes that "Ed" still has the capacity to be loved- or when it comes to Stede, already is loved. However, when one has such little time left, wouldn't you want to let a loved one know that there will still be comfort and belonging for them after you're gone? I think that's why Izzy is adamant on addressing two things in his final moments: one being that Ed has to let go of being Blackbeard in order to be free (believing that his own death will be that freedom), and the second, a reassurance once "Ed" is left, that man he will be IS DESERVING OF LOVE.
Of course this is really simplifying Ed into two distinct personalities when he's much more nuanced and complex in the show (which is even acknowledged in that scene between Stede and Izzy) but this is how I personally read Izzy's final words to Ed in E8.
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paperstorm · 1 year
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I am curious to know if you would "want" to see TK and Carlos dealing with homophobia on the show? Cause I love that the show didn't make a huge deal about them being gay as in them dancing in a bar together without problems (and generally never facing any problems in that regard - as far as i am aware?) and TK (on screen) never having to come out to the 126 or had to explain that he had a boyfriend - it was just normal (as it should be ) but unfortunately that's not how it always goes IRL and even tho it may be slightly different/better in Austin especially people in Texas are not as open minded that it's not an issue for some. And I feel like TK and Carlos would have very different reactions to it and the way Ronen/Rafa could play in their own experiences may be helpful for some people who have to deal with similar stuff?
This is a really fascinating question and I'm kind of on the fence about it tbh. I also like the way the show sort of tells their story without homophobia, it really is refreshing in a way because so, so often any kind of marginalized community only really gets their stories told through the lens of their collective trauma (gay people only get stories about fighting homophobia, black people only get stories about slaves, etc). So it's almost a bit revolutionary to have a canon queer couple that gets to exist and love each other in a fictional world where bigotry doesn't affect them. The only times it really does are like that one scene in a season one episode where that woman was bigoted against basically everyone and she was made the butt of the joke, and in the fact that Carlos thinks his parents have an issue with him being gay but then it turns out that they don't and the real villain in that story is a lack of communication and complicated family dynamics. I do like that a lot, that they get to just ... be. They both casually say "my boyfriend" to someone who they presumably haven't previously come out to (TK to the woman his dad is dating, Carlos to a detective he's working with), and neither of those people have any more reaction than they would if they'd said "my girlfriend". It's an idealized view of reality but its one that we all deserve and it's soothing to see it portrayed on network television.
But then on the other hand it isn't entirely realistic, especially where they live, and they're both such gifted dramatic actors and it would be good to show that side of things too because it is the world we actually live in. The actors coming out stories are sort of opposite to TK and Carlos interestingly, Rafa has said that his family was very loving and supportive basically right away and Ronen has talked about how he stayed in the closet for a long time because he was in physical danger from people in his family, but they could definitely use their own experiences to bring a lot of realism to those scenes if there was a storyline where they had to deal with some kind of bigotry. They're both so passionate about LGBTQ issues and they're both such committed advocates in that fight. It might be really powerful, to show that this incredibly strong couple do still face discrimination and that they fight it together and they lean on each other and they have the support of all the other people who love them.
Idk!! I rambled and I don't really have a good answer for you. I'd be so interested to hear what other people think.
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ambriel-angstwitch · 6 months
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Miss Missing You through the lens of Merthur
Don't panic, no, not yet. I know I'm the one you want to forget
Magic reveal. Let me set the scene, Arthur sees Merlin do magic and Merlin says the first line not only to try to get Arthur to listen to him but also somewhat to himself to remind him that things aren’t guaranteed to go terribly. The second line is in his mind fearing that Arthur won’t want anything to do with him after the reveal
Cue all the love to leave my heart
The love that Arthur holds for Merlin will dissipate with the reveal or at least that’s what Merlin fears. Especially I’m imagining Arthur leaves the room instead of saying anything. (We do know Arthur wanted to be alone after the reveal in the show itself)
It's time for me to fall apart
With Arthur gone Merlin no longer has to keep the brave face to try to convince him. He can panic
Now you're gone, but I'll be okay
This line is interesting because it’s in direct contrast to the last. Maybe Merlin’s trying to convince himself he’s fine
Your hot whiskey eyes have fanned the flame Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight Let the fire breathe me back to life
But then another worst case scenario Merlin might think of. What if Arthur wants him to burn? What if he would do it for him? What if his magic brings him back?
Baby you were my picket fence
A white picket fence represents the perfect house, and an ideal lifestyle. Arthur is Merlin’s everything, he’s his ideal future, and he’s all he wants.
I miss missing you, now and then Chlorine kissed, summer skin I miss missing you, now and then
Sidetrack from the whole storyline we’ve got going on since this gives me major Merlin’s been waiting for Arthur who’s in the lake vibes. He only has brief flashes of memories of Arthur since he’s been gone so long, he misses the way he used to miss Arthur because it’s so much harder to miss something you barely remember.
Sometimes before it gets better The darkness gets bigger
Merlin’s constantly fighting against forces that want to destroy what he loves and all he can hope is things will get better
The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger
Once again connected to this whole storyline though really very canonical because he is completely ready to die for Arthur but he is also living under the knowledge that if Arthur knew everything about him then he might just kill him.
Oh, we're fading fast I miss missing you, now and then
Once again the Arthur in the lake vibes. The memories are fading
Making eyes at this husk, around my heart
The husk around the heart implies that the person has some walls up, has something their hiding like Merlin. Arthur’s falling in love with him but Merlin can’t help but wonder if it’s really him as there’s things he must hide that might stop that love
I see through you and we're sitting in the dark So give me your filth, make it rough Let me, let me, trash your love
But Merlin and Arthur also see through eachother. Despite the secrets Merlin keeps they know eachother more deeply than anyone else. Merlin has seen all of Arthur’s filth all of the bad things he’s done.
I will sing to you everyday, if it will take away the pain
Merlin will be there for Arthur in even the most simple ways if it would make things better for him even a little bit. (Also don’t imagine Arthur wanting Merlin to sing to him in the last “just hold me” moment)
Oh, and I heard you've got it, got it so bad Cause I am the best you’ll never have
They were so deeply in love with eachother, but at the end of it all they never truly got to have eachother. The same destiny that forced them together also kept them from having the relationship they desired. Merlin was too busy trying to keep Arthur that he never got to really have him.
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movementsofmylife · 1 year
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kinnporsche ep 7
so this was the episode that made me go from watching an ep every few days and documenting my thoughts to, watching the entire rest of the show in one sitting and staying up until 2 am. and it fully coincides with the increase of vegas and pete and consequent vegaspete for a reason.
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so this shot of pete when vegas pulls out his torture briefcase. the quick once over he gives him. as if he had to rethink some of his opinions of vegas because of this.
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the complete emotional flatness with which pete takes this torture in comparison to the others.
i feel like this is the scene where vegas starts becoming a whole person to pete. i genuinely think vegas's ability and desire to get in to it and not just watch the bodyguards do the dirty work changed how pete perceived him.
also like, power and kink and w.e u know. pete is definitely having a "this might awaken something in me" moment. but as we all know, when those words enter your mind it's already far too late lol.
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this show is clearly doing a lot of stuff with color that i only started noticing this ep.
vegas wearing his red, and then layering the black and white of the major house's body guards and korn, colors which wipe away the personality and emotions, and then the spray of red on top. like how no matter how hard he tries his violence and the mafia blood come through.
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fuck both of these men. truly the dregs.
but also the teal here is intriguing, will look out for it more.
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firstly, velvet in thailand is a fucking choice.
also clearly the green is associated with the minor family, but maybe like the true minor family, so porsche? (porsche is wearing it in the final ep.)
it also seems to be related to emotionality and feelings in general maybe?
the forest where kinnporsche finally talk and learn about each other is green. and kinn is even wearing a muted green.
and interestingly porsche is wearing a blue, which i think could stand for the non-mafia world? (chay wears light blue a lot)
and then in this episode there's so many scenes where the green is a backdrop to vegas's red. in a literal way his colors are showing. (he fucking wears a leopard print jacket when he tries to force porsche to make out with him, the spots are showing idiom thing was taken to its most literal form)
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this is simply another fuck this dude and his vendetta against feelings, and i'm so mad no one shot him through this entire show.
but on the theme of color theory, i think the red is the old mafia, and it's violence and familial strife. with new gen mafia being green?
and vegas is shown to be more aligned with korn's ideals of a mafia heir than kinn in this ep. vegas is constantly in red, and kinn in the light green.
over the past few episodes kinn has dressed in red a bunch of times, with noteworthy occurrences: his red suit when kp first meet, the red velvet during the auction, and also the burgundy that porsche wears when they first kiss after he finally experiences mafia life.
and i think for kinn he wears it when he's trying to truly be the heir to the major family, but i don't think it's his actual color.
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i actually really like this ep with them. you can see how kim is slowly being convinced by chay's innocence and care.
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back to the colors and all, i mean the green background and vegas finally not in red and it's just for pete!
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it was really interesting that they showed us this madonna in green and then most of the next bar shots are from the perspective of this statue? (i do not know enough about catholicism to interpret what the madonna could mean, and would love it if someone could let me know)
and we see that vegas is looking at porsche and waiting for him to get drunk and overall being manipulative. but then we're shown pete who is reporting to kinn about what's happening and it's not the story he hears.
maybe green is a lens of truth?
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and finally we finish here. porsche trapped as always but this time with a kinn asking for forgiveness and with slightly more emotional vulnerability than ever before.
it's some kind of growth at least.
so, i think at the end of this ep this is where i've landed in terms of the colors:
teal is the color of the older mafia generation
green is porsche's color, and the color of the next gen
red is vegas, and his violence and the epitome of a mafia heir
blue is kinn's color and also the color of the non-mafia world too
i think the implication being that kinn isn't made for the mafia world but vegas is, and porsche will remake it to fit himself?
and pete is there in his blacks and neutrals fading into the background until he shows up covered in vegas's red in a few episodes and things start changing for both him and vegas.
(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)(10)(11)(12)(13)(14)
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kinetic-elaboration · 2 years
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July 9: Summer Goals Update #1
I actually wrote today, and quite a bit, so I feel like I’m entitled to an update, such as it is.
Progress on writing goals:
Southern Gothic AU: I haven’t written anything on this, but a major first step is going through all my scattered notes and consolidating my thoughts. At this point, I’m just too deep in this thing. If I’m going to do it, I want to do it right, which means taking the long route sometimes. It’s harder than I thought it would be, but I did take some time during my vacation to start writing out summaries and arcs for each of the characters. It’s shocking to me both how much I don’t know/have never articulated, and how some new things become so clear as soon as I look at them from a ‘well, what is this character about?’ lens. Still a lot to do here, even before writing, but I’m proud of myself for starting because now I see both that it is possible and that it is helpful.
Troped Chapter 3: What I was working on today. I didn’t want to do it, but I did. Going to try to keep that lesson in mind for future non-deadline projects. I got through half my outline, which is probably something like 40-50% of the total fic by word count. I’m very proud of this. Tomorrow I plan to write (that is, must write) at least up to the last scene. Ideally, I’d write the whole second half of the outline and finish the draft. I think this is plausible. There’s one more major scene left, and it’s the next one up; the others are shorter and simpler, though the last one is also a little vague in my mind right now. The fic is due on Tuesday night but I also have to run errands on Tuesday, which shortens my supply of both evening hours and overall energy. So it would be really great if all I needed to do Monday and Tuesday were to edit and post. Either way, I will have it done by the middle of next week. Goal in sight!
Progress on other writing:
Not on my summer goals list specifically, but also on my radar, I wrote a little Princess Mechanic ficlet earlier this month.
I’ve also been idly planning/brainstorming some fics, including a previously-quite-unlikely, now-semi-plausible horror fic. It’s not on the writing radar for a good long while yet--it’s not even at the top of my scary stories list, at least as of now. But I’m kinda excited about it anyway.
@fontainebleau22
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dreamvvithme · 2 years
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An Ode to Twenty-Five Twenty-One (or more fittingly, my own youth)
“That summer was ours to keep.” – Na Heedo
When I think about my youth, there is a particular memory of our first road trip to the mountains that comes to mind. We were chasing waterfalls (literally) and ended up walking for 5 hours in the scorching sun with nothing but a bottle of water and a packet of biscuits shared amongst the five of us - all I remember were the fireworks of laughter amongst the silence of the mountains. The sky was like a wildfire that day and the winding track felt endless, but our legs beat on; we arrived at our destination. In retrospect, our journey that felt like it had no end was merely a ripple within the ocean of time; I guess that became my anecdote of youth: fleeting, but in the moment, infinite. 
Memory works in funny ways. I find myself to be forgetting more and more of my youth as time passes. It wasn’t until the final scene of 2521 when I sat in the complete still of my bedroom that this particular moment returned. 
This encapsulates the experience of watching 2521. To me, its magic was not only in its ability to craft people and places that we came to love despite never meeting, but more importantly, the way in which it inspires us to reflect on our own lives albeit through a retrospective or a prospective lens. 
A drama, book, song, etc. will sometimes come along at the right time, at the right place, and for me, that was 2521. As such, this review will be different from others as I try to map how the drama has given me a renewed perspective about my own life. 
I began watching the drama at a definitive point in my life -- this year marks the tenth year of my relationship. We were childhood friends who began dating in our later teenage years. Our relationship while wonderful, has always been understated. Seeing the selfless love between Baek Yi Jin and Nam Hee Do on-screen was both familiar and inspiring. I saw us in them -- the way they  supported each other to become better versions of themselves, encouraging each other to jump higher, run faster, and to dream. As Hee Do states: Liking someone means I can learn about myself. And truer words have never been said! In their love I saw the extraordinary in the ordinary and this made me feel grateful for what I have.  
Then there was the friendship that was beautiful for what it was but also, transient like most things in life (ah, Baek Yi Jin only believed in the consistency of gravity and in retrospect, the writers did prepare us for what was to come, we were just unwilling to accept it). As of recent, one of my close friends from high school informed me that she was going to be a mother. This was the first time we spoke in the last two years. While I was elated for her, I didn’t think much of our conversation until I watched the scene where an older Hee Do reflects: My diary from those days is filled with just love and friendship. A time when friendship and love were all that mattered in life. A time like that lasts only for a moment. And this is true of my own life where the high school friends that I used to spend almost every living second with became faces I would see once a month, to once a year and gradually once every couple of years. Like Yu Rim, Hee Do, Ji Woong, Seung Wan and Yi Jin - just because we are apart doesn’t mean we don’t care for one another, however, the drama confronts us once again with the fleeting nature of youth. 
Now, while the ending may not have been ideal (who am I kidding, I cried for 90-minutes straight), it was fitting to the overall theme of the drama - our youth is beautiful in its ephemerality. In saying that, I may have not been so distraught if the end result was fitting of the process... How are we to believe that the compassionate Hee Do would leave Yi Jin at his lowest point, and for the steadfast Yi Jin to apply for a job overseas without informing Hee Do. I don’t mind a sad ending if it aligns with the character’s motivation and behaviour but this ending destroyed me. And as the credits roll, in its wake was a complete feeling of emptiness -- a brutal reminder that people come and go, and life continues, and the only thing that remains constant is gravity itself.
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greenforsuredotpng · 5 months
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3.11.23 Art and Synesthesia
Hello Greener, I honestly have no idea where to go from this, but I thought it would be nice if we could look into any artist who has the condition "synesthesia." Looking artists have sought to translate the emotions and rhythms of music into captivating visual experiences. Exploring this intersection can not only deepen our appreciation for both art forms but also offer a unique way to connect with the world around us. By examining the works of synesthetic artists, we can gain insight into the different ways in which they perceive and interpret sound. Through their art, these individuals are able to express a depth of emotions and sensations that go beyond typical sensory experiences. Engaging with their creations allows us to explore a realm where colors, shapes, and textures harmoniously coexist with melodies and harmonies, broadening our understanding of the interconnectedness of art and music. In embracing synesthesia as a lens for artistic expression, we can embrace a new perspective that is both enlightening and captivating.
While looking for artist with synesthesia, Wassily Kandinsky artwork is the first to immediately catch my eyes.
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Composition 8 by Wassily Kandinsky (July, 1923)
Kandinsky is basically already such a cool ass guys. He has a condition called synesthesia, as I mentioned in my last blog, where all the sensory elements in the brain are having a party together. Kandinsky's "Composition" series is a prime example of how he translated music into visual art. These non-representational works are often described as visual symphonies, where color and form replace musical notes and rhythms. Each composition was intended to convey a specific emotional or spiritual message, akin to a musical composition's power to evoke feelings.
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The Lyrical by Wassily Kandinsky (1911)
"lend your ears to music, open your eyes to painting, and … stop thinking! Just ask yourself whether the work has enabled you to “walk about” into a hitherto unknown world. If the answer is yes, what more do you want?" - Wassily Kandinsky
They're all about diving deep into feelings and perception and pushing the boundaries of how we see things. then I kind of came across the psychedelic art scene, which cranked up the volume to a whole new level. 🎨🌈🚀🚀
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Artist - The Beatles
Guys, let's be real. I was born 2000s, but my dad has always been a huge psychedelic rock fan. I even shocked myself by how much I knew about these song. but I'm sure my reader are way older than me. hehe sorry
The psychedelic art movement emerged during the 1960s counterculture movement, a time of social and political upheaval. The movement was a reaction against the establishment and traditional societal norms, embracing ideals of peace, love, and individual freedom. The vibrant and surrealistic works of art by people like Wes Wilson, Victor Moscoso, and Alton Kelley came to represent the counterculture movement visually and served as a form of cultural rebellion. Understanding the cultural and societal context in which the psychedelic art movement thrived helps to contextualize its impact on various aspects of visual art.
The psychedelic art movement significantly impacted album cover designs, with artists such as Rick Griffin, Stanley Mouse, and Wes Wilson creating iconic and trippy artwork for bands like Pink Floyd and The Beatles. For instance, Rick Griffin's artwork for the Grateful Dead's album "Aoxomoxoa" is often said as a quintessential example of psychedelic album cover art.
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The intricate and surrealistic design not only captured the essence of the music but also pushed the boundaries of traditional album cover artwork. Similarly, Stanley Mouse and Wes Wilson's collaboration on the cover of Jefferson Airplane's album "Surrealistic Pillow" introduced vibrant colors and mind-bending patterns to the world of album cover designs. These iconic album covers not only acted as visual representations of the music but also inspired countless other artists and solidified the fusion of music and visual art. These album covers not only acted as visual representations of the music but also served as gateways into a world of imagination and exploration. The influence of psychedelic art extended beyond album cover designs and had a significant impact on other art forms, such as film and fashion. These examples demonstrate how the influence of psychedelic art transcended music and forever changed the way we perceive and interact with visual art.
Kennedy, Sharon L., "Painting Music: Rhythm And Movement In Art" (2007). Sheldon Museum of Art Catalogues and Publications. 56. https://digitalcommons.unl.edu/sheldonpubs/56
Peng, Mary L., "Exploring The Impact Of Psychedelic Art And Its Implication In The Field Of Medicine And Health: A Pilot Trial" (2023). Public Health Theses. 2322. https://elischolar.library.yale.edu/ysphtdl/2322
And honestly, it's kind of an "oh sh*t, im an idiot moment for me" here, but the answer to my question is, How can I materialize music into an object? has always been right in front of me all along. The only way I can materialize music is on vinyl, CD, cassette tape, etc.
It was even more of a big nail in my huge forehead when Oli pointed it out in the lecture, but I will talk about that more in the next post.
anyway greener, I'm feeling a bit tired after all the reading today! i will see you again on the next blog , BYE
GREEN OUT!
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focus-on-cameras · 2 years
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The Best Digital Cameras to Buy
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Every photographer needs a reliable camera, whether they’re an amateur or a professional. It goes without saying that the camera they use is the most important aspect of what they do. If you have a camera that doesn’t meet all your requirements, you’re not going to get the pictures you need and what’s the use in that for a photographer? It’s like Lewis Hamilton entering a race with a Fiat 500 instead of his Mercedes-AMG One.
So, if you want to be a champion of photography, it’s time you invest in a top-quality digital camera. One of the best online camera shops is Wilkinson Cameras – they stock all the top brands, offer part exchanges and their experts are always on-hand to help.
I’m going to run through some of the digital cameras on their website that could suit your requirements and be ideal for you. Remember though; they’re constantly updating their stock and might have something even better, so be sure to visit their site and see for yourself. Here we go:
1.       Sony Cybershot RX1R Mark II Compact Digital Camera
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Sony is one of the big players in the photography game, and for good reason too. Their digital cameras are of excellent quality, and this one we’ve picked out is no different. The Sony Cybershot RX1R Mark II is compact but capable with full-frame format compatibility, a large-aperture ZEISS® Sonnar T* 35mm F2 lens, a tiltable LCD screen, and many more features. You’re able to take truly breath-taking pictures. This digital camera is certainly a great piece of equipment to invest in.
 2.       Nikon D500 Body
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Powerful, portable and agile - the Nikon D500 combines the high quality of the Nikon D5 with the flexibility of the DX system. Whatever you’re shooting, whether it’s wildlife or sports, the Nikon D500 will capture the perfect shot. Featuring a 153-point AF system, 10 fps continuous shooting, lightweight DX system, 4K UHD video, SnapBridge support, and much more. Could the D500 be your ideal photography partner?
 3.       Canon EOS 1D X Mark III Body
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This camera is a little on the pricey side, which is why it was designed for professionals. The Canon EOS 1D X Mark III helps you capture split second moments in time and make them last forever. This digital camera ensures lightning speed when shooting stills and sleek smoothness when capturing video. Designed to be tough, reliable and intuitive, this camera is one of the best out there.
 4.       Nikon D6 DSLR Camera Body
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Back to Nikon – this digital camera looks as good as it shoots. Another camera built for professionals, featuring Nikon’s most powerful AF system yet and fast in-camera connections for real-time image transfer, the D6 lets you create and deliver without limitation. Extreme speed, precision and high quality are what comes to mind when you think of the Nikon D6.
 5.       Fujifilm GFX 100S Body
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Last, but certainly not least, the Fujifilm GFX 100S was designed for perfection in image quality, which is exactly what photographers seek. The Fujifilm GFX 100S creates remarkably detailed images that reach further and deeper into scenes to reveal amazing colour fidelity and rich shadow detail. Experience unparalleled colour accuracy and flexibility with this digital camera.
 And that was the list of my personal favourite digital cameras to purchase in 2022. You can purchase all of these on the Wilkinson Cameras’ camera shop, along with many other cameras, lenses and accessories.
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cannibalmetaphor · 2 years
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the question of will’s sexuality
(since will’s canon sexuality is ambiguous I’m gonna stress this is my personal opinion)
the fact that heterosexual relationships represent safety for will, while his relationship with hannibal represents danger and indulgence, suggests to me that will is in fact gay coded. as someone who has experienced compulsory heterosexuality (as a lesbian) I personally see will’s sexuality through this lens. like. will’s character centres around trying to repress “the urges he has kept down for so long”… that feels queer to me. he attempts to be what he perceives as normal, and blending into heteronormative society is part of that
almost immediately hannibal picks up on will’s paternal feelings for abigail and says “we’re her fathers now”. he frames them as a family, but they are the opposite of conventional society’s ideal of family. not just because the three of them are violent and dysfunctional, but also because they’re a queer family. after hannibal surrenders, will replaces this family with a safer one that he perceives as good for him. and what do you know, in this family the father and daughter are replaced by mother and son. a lot of hannibal’s dialogue in the red dragon arc calls this out. “I gave you a family, if you recall.” “you can go home now, if there’s any point. is there any point?” in fact the entire red dragon arc is about francis destroying “perfect” families, families just like will’s, and they’re all heterosexual. thus will leaving his family so readily for hannibal implies he has finally accepted his own sexuality, and leaving behind his ready made family is part of that.
in season 1 will kisses alana. hannibal calls it a “clutch for balance”, and personally I agree. what’s clear to me in season 1 is that alana is the only person who has will’s best intentions at heart, and will grasps onto her because of that. she brings him a sense of normality - he kisses her in his house after she makes him feel sane again. the fact that his feelings for her are so radically transformed in season 2 makes me feel like he was using her as a clutch. and by the time she begins her relationship with hannibal, he’s jealous of her, not of hannibal. it appears that the more he accepts his true nature, the less he sees her sexually or romantically
another instance that will engages with women sexually is margot. now margot is a lesbian and is using will for her own benefit, correct? but I also think that will is using her. before they have sex it’s established that will links her with hannibal heavily in his mind because of the fact she’s having therapy with him. when they actually do the act he imagines the wendigo there with them. the alana/hannibal sex scene is paralleled directly with the margot/will one for a reason - by having sex with margot, will is allowing himself to indirectly engage sexually with hannibal, the same way hannibal is using alana to get closer to/provoke will. to me, the hannibal/will dynamic feels more intimate and even a little softer after this episode, as if some pent up frustration has been released
the next example is chiyoh, who pushes will further towards sexual acceptance. before she kisses him she says there are means of influence other than violence (but violence is all you understand). by kissing him, chiyoh is implying that will’s relationship with hannibal could have a sexual element, but she also states that will doesn’t quite understand that yet and has instead expressed his suppressed urges through violence
and that’s the thing: for a long time will doesn’t even know he’s repressing his desires. that’s why he has to ask bedelia if hannibal is in love with him, because the concept of their relationship being romantic or sexual has been buried in his subconscious (or perhaps just blatantly ignored). she asks will, but do you ache for him?, as if this is the more important question. because it is. hannibal came to terms with his feelings for will three years ago when he said “we cannot control with respect to whom we fall in love.” it took will a lot longer… just as it took him a lot longer to succumb to his violent urges. I mean their relationship is canonically romantic like. will is bluebeard’s wife. it just took a while for him to accept it, not just because of the moral repercussions but because it’s a queer relationship.
and I’m sure one of the writers (probably fuller?) alluded to the finale scene as a “consummation”. will killing with hannibal is a moral sacrifice, but It is also a moment of self acceptance. and in the aftermath, bloodied and breathing heavily, will embraces hannibal - the consummation is sexual too. will has by now fully accepted that he and hannibal are in love with each other. while there are many ways to interpret this moment, to me it feels like will’s liberation from conventional and moral society also includes heterosexuality. will says “I don’t think I can save myself”: he knows he can no longer hide under the safer and more accepted persona of straight.
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