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#in other news i dont like what im finding
isimpoveryou · 3 days
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lestappen x sargeant!reader
fc: sabrina carpenter
{𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓} {previous part} {next part}
lovingf1wags
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liked by y/ndailyupdates and 256,829 others
lovingwags singer and actress y/n sargeant, twim sister of logan sargeant and also the alledge girlfriend of a ferrari driver charles leclerc or a redbull driver max verstappen just arrived at the miami gp paddock.
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user01 Y/N WAG ERA?!
user02 AHHHHHHHHHH
user03 wait so who's her boyfriend? max or charles then?
user04 thats what we are trying to find bc both driver has been flirting with her under her post
user05 can be both honestly 😝
user04 @user05 y/n about to make lestappen a real deal
user06 @user05 if i was y/n i'd date both ngl
user07 let's see who's more downbad max or charles
user08 spoiler elert both of them are
yoursecondaccount stories
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[HE'S CUTER IRL WHAT THE FUCKKKK] [charles 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 also he took a lot of pictures of me will post that soon]
babyolivia replied
TEAM LESTAPPEN
both at once 😋😋😋
graycoma replied
all two at once?! is this where you got your nonsense inspiration?
LMAOOOOO
i wish
williamsracing stories
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[new admin reveal @/yourinstagram] [we can see clearly who's the better twin] [ ALBONOOOOOOOO I love lily more]
y/ndailyupdates
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liked by charles_leclerc and 86,729 others
y/ndailyupdates Y/n today in the paddock greeting her fans 🥺🫶
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user01 SHE'S SO PRETTY LIKE WHAT THE FUCK
user02 LOL WHAT IS CHARLES DOING IN THE LIKES
y/ndailyupdates IM IN SHOCK RN BC HE FOLLOWS TOO
user03 mans down bad for y/n
user04 get me someone thats obsessed with me like how charles is obsessed with y/n
user05 I MET HERR THEREEE
y/ndailyupdates REALLY?!?!?
user05 YESSS!! she was so sweet and we talked a lot about her album and i asked her if there will be tours and she said yes!!! we also traded friendship bracelets. charles and max were behind a bit far away but they were watching over her.
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*pretend thats both max and charles in the pict
yoursecondaccount
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liked by babyolivia and 87 others
yoursecondaccount welp...
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graycoma i cant- 😭😭😭😭😭
yoursecondaccount DJJDJXXJJXJJS
graycoma so... how big?
babyolivia CONAN?!
graycoma WHATTTT?!?!?
yoursecondaccount I CANTTTTT 😭😭😭
babyolivia THIS IS WHY DONT DRINK TO MUCH
yoursecondaccount i was at a party?!??! HELLOOOO?!?!?
babyolivia we need a operation talk once you get back to LA
graycoma AGREED
yoursecondaccount Fineeee
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bigfemboyenergy · 2 days
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ok this is stupid but
i lowkey have been thinking about sonic, mario, and dp since yesterday. my friends and i have “friendship lore” in a way, and its really dumb, but this is basically why im thinking of these things (well, im wearing dp merch, so not for dp but like). and suddenly my brain decided to spit out SONIC X DP which is absolutely insane and terrible.. and then DC X DP X SONIC, which is arguably WORSE.. but the inspiration hits and you cant argue w/ it, yeah? so i may test out some weird shit below, just for shits and giggles (god, i read someone say gits and shiggles once and it kills me). itd be more “oh no danny and sonic randomly appear in gotham oh dear me” han something actually good so maybe ignore 💀
In a snap, Danny finds himself in a new place. One second, he was home with Jazz and his parents; the next, he’s in a dark, dreary city. Of course, he takes it in stride; this is what happens when you deal with so much bullshit every day. (Or he gets intense anxiety, what fun! I personally just love chill, mischievous Danny, but yk)
Now, on the other hand, Sonic just appeared in a human city. Yes, this stuff has happened before, but get this: the people of said city (Gotham, but it’s not like it matters) don’t seem to be calling him an alien?? Like, why’s this little furry blue guy treated somewhat normally, huh? Wouldn’t normal people fear 3 foot spiky speedsters?? (I’m only saying this because he could be confused for a meta with some sort of physical quirks)
And of course the bats are confuzzled. All cams show that they just randomly teleported, so there’s no way to determine how they got here unless they overhear something or interact with the strange people themselves. Though it seems like there’s some foul play, or something not quite right… something they can’t put their fingers on.
yeah my brains kinda broken rn but whatever if you think this very weird combo sounds fun (or even if you dont, i need an outlet nonetheless) lmk!
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olivia091108 · 2 days
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Farmers daughter
Summary:Johnny goes home and meets his new neighbours daughter
Pairing:Johnny Knoxville x reader
Word count:2.4k
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I had just finished filming the last episode of jackass and I’m heading down to see my folks in Tennessee for a few weeks.
My dad pick me up from the airport and drives us home it’s not too long of a drive but I know I’m almost there when the houses are all miles away from eatch other. We pull up and i get out and grab my bag and walk in with dad to see everyone.
I walk into the house and as I set my bags down ma is already pulling me into a hug telling me she hasn’t seen me in so long and telling me that I’ve missed a lot of things.
Johnny I’m so glad your home I hope you don’t mind but we have a visitor here right now but I want you to meet him. She pulls me into the living room and sitting there is a middle aged couple
“Johnny this is Albert and carol they’re our neighbours” she tells me and I shake their hands “this is my son Johnny the one who went to Hollywood”
“That’s exciting what are you doing all the way down there trying to become a movie star”carol asks me excitedly
“Yeah well I’ve actually just finished my show on mtv you might’ve seen it.”
“We don’t have a tv it shows very graphic things we just keep up with the paper” I nod finding it odd they don’t have a tv but carry on talking to them
“So Johnny how old are you?
“Im 27 sir”
“Oh your only a year older than our daughter” she turns to ma and says “she’s sorry she couldn’t make it she’s very busy at the moment”
“Oh it’s alright I’ll see her soon Johnny can you help me in the kitchen for a second”
I follow mum into the kitchen and she talks quietly “Johnny do you think you can go round and help Albert with sone jobs he isn’t strong enough for them and I promise by the time you come back I’ll have your’e favourite dinner all dishes out”
Yeah ok ma she kissed my cheek and I ask Albert if he needs any help and he brings me up on my offer and I follow them on the walk to their house.
As we approach their house it’s not as big as ours but it looks cosy and as Albert leads me round the back of the house towards the barn he begins to mutter.
“Y/n you need to quicken your’e pace and stop daydreaming or you won’t be able to finish your chores in time”
I wonder who he’s taking to as all I see is clothes and a white bedsheet hanging on the line drying. A hand quickly moves the sheet to the side and reveals a gorgeous young lady this must be there daughter.
She’s absolutely breathtaking she has lovely tanned skin wearing a white float top and denim shorts and long hair cascading down her back with small braids dotted around.
Sorry dad I was away with the fairies I’m almost finished then I’ll head to the bar- I so sorry I don’t know where my manners went I’m y/n nice to meet you she shakes my hand and I realise I’ve just been gawking at her and quickly tell her my name with a smile.
“He’s just here to help with a few things he’s Margaret’s son.”
“Of course she has not kept quiet about you saying your’e some big movie star.”
“Y/n finish this and meet us at the barn”
I nod and get back to hanging the washing and as Albert ushers me to follow him I can just about drag my eyes away from her.
Once Albert has explained everything he wants me to do he leaves the barn but I hear him begin talking to y/n who ahs just arrived
“Y/n i dont want any funny business with you and that boy alright young lady”
“Of course not dad”
“Good make sure you finish all your chores or you won’t have any supper”
As y/n walks in I quickly look back at my task and pretend I hadn’t heard their whole conversation. I work on fixing the stable door while y/n does her chores and silence fills the barn other than the occasional noise form the animals.
“Your’e show is really funny” her voice sounds like honey dripping with sweetness
“I thought you didn’t have a tv”
Well we don’t but when I go round and have supper with Margret it’s always on she’s really proud of you yknow.
I smile at her and let the words echo through my head.
Sorry if my mas a little bossy I’m sure you have better things to do tan have dinner with her every week.
“No no that’s not what I mean I love going round your folks are so kind to me”
We keep on chatting with y/n following me round while I do my jobs completely abandoning her own until I have finished and are ready to head home just intime for dinner.
She takes my wrist and looks at my watch seeing it reading 5:40. Oh Christ I’ve gotten so distracted she quickly rushes round the barn trying to complete her chores and I watch her as I’m about to leave I feel guilty especially after what her father said if she doesn’t finish. I dismiss my hunger and offer y/n help
No you should get going I don’t want to keep you you’ve only just gotten back. She says while carrying a bucket of water in one hand and some hay tucked under her arm to the animal penns.
“It’s probably something like meatloaf anyway” I begin to take water and give it to each animal and in 20 minuets we had finished them all and began to walk back to ge house
As we arrive just outside her back door she climbs on her tiptoes and wraps her arms round my neck and thanks me telling me how much trouble she would’ve gotten in if it weren’t for me and she planted a kiss on my cheek and pulled back with a smile before entering the house waving me a goodbye
I smile to myself and walk back home the only thing being on my mind was her.
The next day it’s the hottest It’s been for a while and after hanging round the house I soon become bored when there isn’t anything good on tv there’s only about 20 channels on our tv and half of them are the news. Mum asks me if I can go into town to get a few bits for her.
Ma I’m going to go round to Albert and carols to see if they need anything I’ll be back in and hour I shout upstairs to her and leave the house. While I’m waking all I’m thinking about is y/n she’s honestly like a ray or sunshine everything about her seems to take my breath away.
When I reach their house I knock on the door and carol answers and I ask her if she needs anything from town
That’s very kind I’ll write you a list would you mind taking y/n with you she doesn’t get to go into town much.
Of course ma’m that wouldn’t be a problem I tell her feeling my heart speed up a notch.
She should be down by the lake it’s behind the barn she points out to me and I walk down there and see no sign of her until she rises up to the surface from under the water.
I walk closer and stand on the bank of the lane admiring her even if I can only see the back of her head.
“hey y/n” I call over to her and she turns around and holds up her hand to block the sun not seeing who I am then a smile breaks onto her face
“Hi Johnny what you doing here is my dad trying to get you to do more jobs for him?” she asks me swimming over and it only occurs to me now that she’s not wearing any kind of clothes and I suddenly feel very shy
I turn round giving her some privacy and say. “I’m sorry I didn’t know you were naked I came over to see if you wanted to come into town with me I’d be bored going alone” I say loudly so she can hear me.
“It’s alright I don’t mind it’s natural” she says and I slowly turn my head to see what she’s doing and she’s climbed out the water now and slipped on some knickers and a bra wich immediately gets wet as she hadn’t even dried herself and grabs a small checkered red top and some denim shorts.
“Let me get some money from the house cmon” she says and grabs a hold of my hand and quickly pull me towards the house. She runs upstairs quickly to grab her money and I collect the list from carol only having a few things on it.
“Has a handsome young man like you have a girlfriend yet Johnny?”
“No not yet ma’m”
“You know my y/n is single she hasn’t had a boyfriend in a long time” carol tells me
“Mum stop” she groans as she runs sos. The stairs jumping down the last two and saying a quick goodbye to her mum before we both walk out heading to town.
“Do you like being home or are you missing the movie star life she asks me”
“Nah I like being home seeing my folks and being in my own bed I like that I’ve met you as well” I say staring down at her
“I’m glad I’ve met you too I don’t have many friends we live so far from everyone I’m just stuck on the farm all day but I can complain I love hanging around the animals.” She beams
“Do you think you will ever leave”I ask her knowing I would be crazy if I was living in the middle of nowhere away from everybody
“I want to go travelling one day but I don’t think I’ll be able to”she says kicking stones along as we walk
“Whys that?”
Well dads getting old and he won’t be able to manage the farm for much longer and we really don’t have the money for it anyways.
We carry on talking all the way until we reach the town and I can see how excited she is and she’s wanting to go into every shop and I simply follow after her like some lost dog.
We walk into a candy shop and she buys a pick and mix bags with a few lollipops and we sit on a walk and share them and I notice the cinema. Opposite playing dazed and confused
“I love that film have you seen it” is at pointing to the title that’s in bold letter above the entrance. She shakes her head no way she has some kind of sweet in her mouth and quickly finishes it.
“I haven’t seen many films only when I go round your’e house I catch a few minutes of one. Can we go and watch it?”
“Yeah let’s go”we get off the walk and buy a ticket and I buy us a bucket of popcorn and we find our seats.
She seems to be enjoying the film and as much as I like the film my eyes aren’t in the screen they’re too focused on her. I lol down at her hand resting on the armrest and think about holding her hand but think she will find it weird I brush that idea off and tell myself to go for it and wait for the right moment.
While trying to watch the film I feel her smaller soft hand slide into mine softly squeezing it and my cheeks blush as red as our seats and look over at her to see what she’s doing but she’s too engrossed in the film to think anything of it she catches me staring at her and offers me the popcorn and I grab some and settle back in my seat and squeeze her hand a bit and savour this moment
Once the film has finished we levee the cinema and see that the sun is setting and we should get going home the whole way home she still hangs let go of my hand as we continue to talk and every word she says and everyone she smiles or laughs it just makes me like her even more
As we’re about to reach her house she says to me “Johnny I’m really glad that your here I was starting to go mad on that farm” she laughs at the last bit
“I’m glad too and maybe soon you can come visit me in LA I think you would really like it there”
“Yeah that seems nice”she says as we reach her house and she says goodbye and goes up her porch stairs now she’s just below my height before turning round and grabbing my face and pulling me in for a kiss.
I immediately kiss back and I can taste the sweetness of her lollipop on her lips and my hands wrap around her waist desperately trying to pull her even closer. As we both pull away I see her lips are pink and a bit swollen and she has a small blush coating her cheeks probably matching mine.
We hear her father shout out for her and we both chuckle a bit before she gives me one last kiss and going inside not before she gives me a small wave.
I don’t know how I’m gonna leave now that I’ve met her I think to myself
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Hey guys I litch have been thinking about this since @kunntzsstuff @princessthatcantfuckingsleep and @pjknoxx posted their moodboards
Iike always feel free to request
-Liv
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moeblob · 24 days
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"Abduct is SUCH A strong word, pal! But yes."
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plulp · 5 months
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MORE HAPRER PLEATHE HES SO FINE
youve asked this at such a good time because i had just had a harper design explanation idea and i wasnt sure if i should make it or not:
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sonknuxadow · 1 year
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dailykugisaki · 2 months
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Day 100!!! | Id in alt
She's not at the right place, but she's still here regardless.
(messing with backgrounds again! I just wanted Kugisaki to look too real in an unreal kinda place💥 also!fyi. I will not be posting this week or at least a bit so I can hopefully see more posts Abt Palestine n ect and bc of the strike!! Just letting you all know!)
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abtheb · 11 months
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April 28, 2023
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Despite everything, it's still you.
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lilaccatholic · 4 months
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how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?
#babes i actually relate to the frigid angry woman more than im comfortable with but this time there's no prince coming to save her and idk#i was never beautiful but i was and am angry and capable and that's served me well but being angry is exhausting#it's a birthright i can't give to a younger sibling. it doesn't transfer.#i dont inspire devotion. there's no version of this that ends with me waltzing with a true love.#im not the type you launch a thousand ships for.#so what's left?#who am i when i have no one? when ive spent my life making *me* less to make others more? when im nothing but a useful piece of furniture.#i know God loves me! i love Him! but it's not the same. i want *people* to love me. i want to be someone that theyd fight for.#im feeling that 'women have minds and hearts but im so lonely' scene from little women 2019 so much right now.#except im not jo. my family loves me but theyd never do for me what jo's would do for her. theyre also all focused on surviving.#i feel like a military ration. there to be consumed but cast aside the moment something more palatable comes around.#how do i become consumed with joy? how do i let go of the cynicism? its all thats kept me safe! but its choking me too.#its like tony stark in iron man 2. the thing thats kept me alive this far is killing me. i need to find an alternative but its looking like#ill have to synthesize a new element to make it happen and that freaks me out.#ive always been derivative. never an individual. how do i become a trailblazer when my job was always to hold the hand of the one blazing#the trail? how do i become myself happy and free?#because i WANT to be more#i WANT to be more than anger and coldness and a useful idiot. i WANT to be me and be so so happy#but i dont know how to get there#and if someone suggests therapy im shooting you. i dont want to listen to one more person pretend to care about me and tell me#all the things i need to change and spend even longer not learning how to think for myself#i want to be more than this. but i also cant stand the thought of taking up any more space than i do#anyway.#anyone who's read all this thank you and i promise im fine im just in my feelings today lol#im going to work out and get some happy brain chemicals flowing and then ill take a shower and itll all be good.#please dont worry about me! im just having A Moment TM#lilac rambles
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dhmis-autism · 7 months
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i feel like the original series was red guy centered, the first season was for yellow guy, and i am BEGGING AND PRAYING that season 2 will be more about duck!! i will probably cry if anything happens to him though lol 💀 everytime writers break a comic relief character i just OUGSHGS.. it gets me.
h well I don't think you're wrong about that! Webseries being Red Guys time to shine, S1 of the TV show being for Yellow (esp the last two episodes I think? Even thought outside of that, he does get a lot of focus/he IS the one who talks to the audience the most directly). From what I remember hearing, the pilot was pretty Duck-centered.
But I think even if he GETS his big moment in the sun, so to speak, it's NOT going to be as emotional as the other twos. On top of him just not being a very um… let's say sentimental character, he's just not the make-you-cry type! It's just not him imo!
IDK, I operate under the opinion that… in his weird little head, the most important thing that he values over everything is keeping the three of them together. Both because he thinks of them as a weird little family AND because he really doesn't have anyone else outside of the trio. We also know from the interview, and you could maybe argue from the Family episode ( Who do you love?/Anyone who loves me back., I asked every member of my family who they loved the most, and they all said me ) that being loved is something that he actually values QUITE a bit! More than you would assume on first glance! He's weirdly upfront about it haha!
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In that way, I imagine that if they were to TRY to pull something to put him in the spotlight in the way you're imagining (i.e. something emotional and focusing on his issues like they did with Yellow & Red) it would either focus on his desire to be loved OR his dedication to keeping the three of them together. But I would argue they both already did that in the Family episode AND put him through the worst case-scenario in regards to those more emotional aspects of his character ( here I think the worst case scenario to him is the other two rejecting him, harshly, unambiguously and to his face, multiple times and the three of them separating ). AND THE THING IS… THAT ALREADY HAPPENED! THAT DIDN'T BREAK HIM!
He had his little pout over it in his dress and was like FINE! I DON'T NEED THEM ANYWAYS! So, I really don't think that big "character-breaking" moment is coming. If the Family ep didn't get him I honest to God don't think there's anything else the house could throw at him that could get under his skin.
#I REALLY TRULY DO THINK HES JUST GONNA KEEP BEING SILLY AND GOOFY UNTIL THE END OF TIME#just forever in the BG being funny and having the best lines#like. worst case scenario came and went and he is both so adaptable AND deranged that nothing is going to come from it ever#ALSO sorry! i think he likes being in the house lol#dude who loves repetition and stagnation and who is a complete social failure gets trapped in a time loop house with two other people?#of COURSE he loves the routine and delusionally convinces himself that the other two love him!! come ON now!!!#my dhmis postings#like im trying to think of what kind of drama can even come from his specific issues and#its like what if he figures out the other two dont think of him the same way?#HE ALREADY DID!!!#and he pushed on it and pushed on it and didnt relent until they were like PHYSICALLY seperated.#then he just convinced himself that HE made the decision to drop THEM actually.#and when that didnt work he got sad. then got over it.#again. i think he would TRY to find new friends but like. socially he is SO SO fucked lol.#hes annoying. hes loud. he NEVER stops talking. hes super upfront and DOGSHIT at communicating at the same time#hes mean. hes abrasive. he doesnt understand social cues at ALL. he has NO filter. and he refuses to work on any of that because to him#NONE of that is a problem.#like he wouldnt be able to get new friends if he TRIED. he is so completely entirely incompatible to anyone outside the group#it makes him REALLY easy to hate and i get why a lot of ppl do. HELL i get why a lot of IN UNIVERSE charas HATE him
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handweavers · 5 months
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when reading scripture or religious texts in my studies from a variety of religions (a not-insignificant part of my education has been religious studies) i can appreciate and understand the beauty and appeal of it and make sense of its internal logic system and worldview and feel that i'm picking up what it's putting down even if i don't necessarily identify with it on a personal level, but i gotta be honest i always feel like i'm missing something or losing my mind when i read christian texts like i don't get it and it doesn't make sense to me and nothing about the trinity makes sense to me and the entire worldview feels so harsh and terrifying and bleak for no reason and every time i've asked anyone in my family (on the christian side) to explain any of it to me like sincerely i just feel more baffled and whenever i've had to read passages of the new testament i dont get it at all like even abstractly i don't understand and it makes me feel crazy like what i'm looking at has to be completely different from what other people are seeing and i don't mean it in a reddit atheist smug asshole way like it's genuinely beyond my comprehension I Don't Get It and i don't think i ever will
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thebigqueer · 3 months
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unrelated to that rb but im thinking about it and i dont think piper liking jason was ever a forced heteronormativity thing i think she genuinely liked him
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carnation-damnation · 3 months
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Looking for brands that make different size nibs of pens for the most part but
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wolfcat-hybrid · 11 months
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I understand the instinct to hear news about something happening and go "ok, now how will this impact me", but folks. With the WGA strike. Please don't make it about your favorite show. I'm sorry something that's important to you has been negatively affected! But the wellbeing of writers should absolutely take priority over that. You can be sad about the impact of a strike and still be glad they're fighting for improved conditions.
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abstractlesbian · 2 months
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Find someone slightly annoying but in really small harmless ways so I decide none of the behaviours are worth bringing up with them → realizing: hey, Im also annoying! solidarity! → realizing we have a lot in common and starting to bond → finding out other people find this person annoying and are vocal about it behind their back → finding out this person has ADHD like me that's (at least one reason) why we have all these traits in common → fear.
#trying to be as vague as possible even tho this is someone I know offline and no one involved follows me online#on one level I get it that relying someone who is forgetful and does things slower/differently than you can be frustrating#but like its a medical condition. and u dont need to know someones medical info to have some empathy instead of assuming malice/incompetence#i just found out they have adhd today but day one i was able to go 'wow i did not like the way they handled that but i dont think they were#being hurtful/careless we just handle this task differently. rhey didnt do anything wrong and i can let this go and adjust my expectations'#not to say im perfect and never ableist towards others. my first reaction to seeing traits i dislike in myself (from my disabilities)#in others is often to get annoyed and needing to adjust my thinking#i get annoyed with myself when I cant focus / cant be coherent or concise / cant finish tasks quickly etc#→ get annoyed sometimes when I see others doing that → realize thats not fair to them → realize thats not fair to myself#→ assume good intentions and find ways to communicate/collaborate better with them → get along better and maybe make a new friend!#sorry i am rambling#idk its scary seeing someone being disliked for adhd symptoms/traits that im mostly doing a good job of managing/hiding in this#social environment so far and knowing that could happen to me in the future#but im also like ready to have this persons back#me 🤝 them: prioritizing the wrong tasks and overexplaining things and struglging to get our points across#and not noticing when we talk too loud and forgetting tasks halfway thru etc#not to be that guy but : without love it canmot be seen!!!!#lifes so much better if u just assume ppl arent doing things a certain way to be annoying + let go of / adapt to the thing that are annoying#but not harmful#thats not exactly what without love it cant be seen means but thats one of the ways i apply it in life#just like dont assume malice. assume u dont have all the info. approach ppl/situations with empathy.#or youll make yourself more miserable needlessly#again like only for shit that's not harmful obv#i need to shut up and go to bed
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saeshiraw · 7 months
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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