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#in-mayonnaise-we-trust
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Ridiculous shit I’ve heard college students say:
Is anyone else craving shaving cream?
Freddy Fazbear is a whore
The only thing that turns me on is rocket science
Im only one dumb enough to take my own advice.
Give me my drink you machine of Satan
“Think she’ll get mad if I eat barbecue wings in the classroom?” “Possibly.”
Coding is the purest form of masochism.
The scientific method was made to verify stupid decisions.
Being okay is relative.
It’s not murder if it’s consensual!
Florida does not have rednecks. Florida has Florida men.
The only people who can be trusted less than engineering students are tuba players
Bold of you to assume that I know what I’m doing with my life.
Do you know how many calories are in Uranium?
*to their friend* You’re asking a lot of questions for someone who’s a figment of my imagination.
They’re high heels not a war crime
Why do the laws of physics have to get in the way of fun
*not at all sincerely* I’m sorry that I’m smarter than you
*To a professor* It’s okay, you can say it went to hell, we all agree with you.
“What goes on inside your head?” “Not much, actually.”
It’s always really hard to tell the difference between a philosophy major and the local weed dealer.
*in immense pain* who invented triangles?!
Why do you need to be an engineer when you could be a dumbass with a knife?
You have kneecaps and I don’t have money, one of these things is going to change.
Please steal my identity, I don’t want it.
Bold words coming from someone within stabbing range
Jared, 19, is a fake illiterate, I’m a real illiterate
Hey Siri, what’s my stripper name?
How much iron supplement is required to kill a child?
She’s not my waifu, she’s just another girl!
*Very loud, very intense argument about the proper amount of mayonnaise that goes on a sandwich*
That’s how I get shot, HeHe straight to hell.
Fuck Google! We optimize our own routes!
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lay-z · 1 year
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puppy love | k. "gaz" garrick
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Summary: People say you always meet twice. Gaz and you went through basic training together, then you parted, both of you transferring to other places and units. Now you meet again in Amsterdam.
Pairing: Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick x f!Reader
Warnings/Info: cussing; drinking; flirting; unresolved sexual tension; a tad bit cliché and jealousy; humor; comfort; fluff; friends to lovers
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In his mediocre, Dutch hostel room, Gaz' raises his brows; attentive eyes switching back and forth between Captain Price and Laswell who are sitting in the armchairs across from him.
"So...you think I can't handle this mission on my own?"
Both parties shake their heads at that statement, while Laswell keeps wearing that slight smirk of amusement on her lips.
"We know you can, Gaz", Price assures him.
"Sergeant Garrick, the agent you'll be meeting up with is one of my most trusted allies and she should be yours too. This whole operation is bigger than we might be expecting right now, so we need all the best help we can get"
Fair enough. Makes sense to organize reliable backup, especially after finding out that the Las Almas cartel is involved with Hassan.
He's just curious who that agent might be if she's part of Laswell's most trusted inner circle.
"And I'll meet her at the café when -"
"Negative. You'll meet her at the Oude Kerk church, take a stroll at the nearby canals and then you'll go to the café", Laswell explains factually.
Gaz scoffs involuntarily, covers it with a fake caugh and quickly regains his composure in front of his superiors again.
"But that sounds -"
"Exactly, make it look like a date. The most innocent undercover there is", Price butts in nonchalantly while Gaz tries to comprehend the new orders he's given.
"An undercover date?", Gaz repeats, still unsure.
A firm pat on his shoulder and an encouraging look from Captain Price follow while Laswell looks more than pleased with the plan she's come up with for tomorrow.
"Perhaps you should bring some flowers. I heard tulips are quite popular around here", Laswell suggests with an out-of-character wink, further raising the young Sergeant's suspicion.
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"Ya could've at least shown me a pic of her", Gaz mutters into his hidden comms on the way to the historic church. "I have no idea what she looks like"
"You'll know when you see her, Sergeant", Laswell chirps in return. "She's very pretty...extremely lethal, too."
"I can confirm that", Price butts in nonchalantly and unprovoked, and the Captain's voice sounds muffled by the thick cigar he's most likely chewing on.
"Confirm what exactly, sir?...Cap?", Gaz inquires while his curiosity about this mysterious agent keeps rising with each deliberate step he takes.
If there is something Kyle Garrick hates, being ignored and purposely kept in the dark make the top three, along with mayonnaise.
"Did you bring the flowers?", the Captain asks instead, sounding annoyingly serious.
Gaz rolls his eyes and sighs with built up frustration before he lifts the small bouquet of pink tulips in humiliation, waving them a little since he knows the two are probably watching him from somewhere nearby.
"Happy now? Bloody hell", he mutters, cussing quietly under his breath.
"Very", Laswell answers and she almost sounds delighted like a proud mother.
It is silent for a moment, and Gaz is surprised to find himself becoming nervous, anxious even, for the fake rendezvous with the unknown agent.
"Ya could've dressed properly, son. Jeans and a hoodie? Come on...and take that hood off"
Gaz nearly stumbles after the Captain's sudden rebuke, but before he can defend himself, Laswell beats him to it, sighing deeply.
"He looks just fine. Besides, you're the one dressed like a dock worker on lunch break, John", she counters dryly.
The comms go quiet again and Gaz snickers to himself after Laswell stuck up for him to Price. However, the Captain's words make him reconsider his fashion choice for a brief moment before he remembers again that this is still not a real date.
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With the church behind his back, Gaz is watching the hubbub in the streets of Amsterdam unfold around him while he's slowly but surely starting to feel like a fool with the tulips in one hand and the other shoved deep into his pocket.
"Now don't tell me I'm being stood up here", he mumbles with apparent impatience. This agent was supposed to meet him 20 minutes ago.
"Trust me, you're not", Laswell answers immediately.
"That's called being fashionably late, Gaz. Women do that to keep us interested in their pursuit, even if that's not necessary at all"
Gaz can't hold back his eyes rolling so far into his skull that he's momentary blind, and he will never again question why his Captain is a forever bachelor. He'll simply ignore the fact that their occupation is probably one of the main reasons.
"Didn't know I signed up for dating advice on top of this mission, sir"
"Do me a favor, Sergeant Garrick. Never take up any dating advice from someone like Captain Price"
"I didn't plan to, but I promise I won't"
"You two done yet?", the Captain grumbles, obviously done with their banter for now, and Gaz is still chuckling when Price's voice comes through once more. "Heads up, Gaz -"
"Kyle?"
It's a mix of both, hearing his real name being spoken aloud and the sound of a familiar voice saying it that startles Gaz to his core.
"Rendezvous at the café at 1100. Stay alert for possible hostiles in the area. Oh...and have fun. Watcher-1 out."
Gaz can barely register the last orders given by Laswell as he turns around to face you. He must truly look like a wallie now; eyes nearly bugging as he gapes at you.
"Sunny?"
You giggle then with an elegant wave of your hand as you continue waltzing towards him.
"Y'know, I haven't heard that nickname in a long while. You look good", you say as you go in straight for a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck.
"I -"
Still too stunned to speak, Gaz cautiously allows himself to reciprocate the embrace by hugging your midst close to himself while the bouquet dangles from his hand. Your scent fills his nostrils, even as the chilly breeze whips at his face, and he feels like a weirdo inhaling deeply, but he simply cannot help himself.
You smell warm and comforting like freshly ground coffee, sweet cinnamon pastries, and a subtle, tangy odor. It's a fragrance that reminds him of home, basic training, and long nights at the local pub.
"I missed you", he blurts out and goes wide-eyed, biting down at his tongue as you pull back abruptly, staring at his face.
Your gorgeous, vigilant eyes search his and Gaz prays you don't take what he said the wrong way.
"I missed you too, Gaz"
Then your lips split into a breathtaking smile and he breathes a sigh of relief after your reaction.
If there are any enemies nearby who have watched this scene unfold, there is no way they could suspect anything suspicious after this public display of awkwardness.
"So...you work for Laswell now...the CIA, huh?", Gaz dares to ask as you stroll along the canals, blinded by the midday sun.
You chuckle softly and wrap your hands tightly around his upper arm as you walk next to him. The way you're acting, the two of you must be looking like a true pair of lovebirds to the present civilians, and Gaz starts to wonder.
Can all of this be but an act? Not on his part, that much he knows.
"Yes, but now's not the right time to talk about all of that, innit"
Gaz clicks his tongue as he nods, enjoying the way your native accent is coming through again. He should have known better not to ask, that was unprofessional of him, to begin with.
"Right, because you can't ask personal questions on a date. My apologies, I forgot", he retorts sarcastically, wanting to tease you just a wee bit more, and he notices the side-eyes you're shooting him.
"Forever the smart arse"
You didn't deny that this is, in fact, a date.
Interesting.
Then you try to shove him playfully, but the young Sargeant anticipates it and steps aside, causing you to nearly trip in front of a speeding bicyclist before he acts quicker, pulling you out of the way at the last second. The bicyclist swerves, cussing frantically while Gaz flips him off, spitting rage while the bouquet of tulips got crushed on the pavement when he dropped it.
"Oy! Watch where yer goin' ye bloody wanker!"
"Gaz, don't!"
You tug on his hand, urging him to let things be, having drawn enough attention to the two of you already, but Gaz is unconsolable when he suddenly turns to you, cradling your face in his hands.
"Are you alright?"
"Ye call that keepin' a low profile, son? Get away from that bloody street...now"
The adrenaline already pumping through his veins is only boosted by Price's exhorting voice coming through his earpiece, and judging by the look on your face, Laswell advised you too.
He only snaps out of it when you cup your hands over his, your lashes fluttering as you nod affirmation.
"I'm fine, but we need to leave."
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Even after the incident with the bicyclist, the mission turned out a success, and Laswell managed to get the much needed intel from one of the cartel members.
Now Gaz is back in his mediocre, Dutch hostel room, sitting in one of the old armchairs all by himself while he awaits the order to move out.
It's always the same and even though he loves his profession and is proud to be serving, he cannot help the heavy feeling of melancholy and loneliness resting on his mind after seeing you again today.
He takes another sip of the room-temperature bourbon and welcomes the burn in his throat as it distracts him from his nostalgic thoughts.
A sudden firm knock on his door alerts him and he immediately reaches for the handgun on the side table next to him. Perhaps the rest of the Mexican cartel has come to retrieve their friend after all.
"Gaz...it's just me"
But then Gaz relaxes and rises from his seat at the sound of your hushed voice coming from behind the door and when he unlocks it, you greet him with sparkling eyes and that mischievous smile of yours.
"May I come in, Sergeant?"
He steps aside wordlessly and you scurry past him into the open-spaced room.
"Nice place you got here. Just as clean and cozy as our barracks on base. Remember?"
Gaz scoffs as he turns around to observe you, his hands casually resting inside his pants pockets. Oh he remembers very well.
"Nah, this room is bigger, plus the toilet is working and there's hot water whenever I want"
You continue to wear that smirk on your lips as you suddenly produce a large bottle of Smirnoff Vodka from the inside of your coat.
"Remember this too?"
Looking at the bottle alone is enough to bring back a stinging ghost headache, caused by the many memories of waking up wrecked and, in some cases, still piss drunk after spending the night out with you. Gaz squeezes his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose, causing you to giggle hysterically.
"If I as much as smell that liquor, I might start dry heaving, woman"
However, the sound of the cap being twisted and unscrewed is telling enough, and when Gaz opens his eyes again, you've already lifted the bottle to your lips, having a drink.
"Aw, c'mon now, Gaz. Tonight's the night we celebrate!", you exclaim, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand as you eagerly offer the bottle to him.
"Celebrate what exactly?", Gaz muses as he takes the bottle reluctantly. A peek at the foggy liquid makes his stomach churn like a conditioned reaction, the sweet and acidic smell makes it worse.
"I dunno", you retort with a nonchalant shrug. "A successful mission? Our reunion? Just pick one"
You shrug your coat off, throw it on the bed as you pass by it, and flop down into one of the armchairs like you own the place. Then you look at back at him, expectantly, and make a drinking gesture with your hand.
Gaz sighs and mentally braces himself before he takes a large swing of the bottle. It's not as bad as he expected it to be, but that still doesn't make it good, and he walks up to you to hand you the bottle back just to get rid of it.
"Oh, I forgot...you're a lightweight", you snicker as Gaz sits down across from you, and he admires your carefree confidence and the way you get comfortable directing a room, no matter what.
"I've gotten better actually", he remarks, leaning back into the worn-out, dusty cushion. "Perks of working with Captain Price"
"Hmpf", you hum, licking your bottom lip with a dreamy look and Gaz gets distracted by the sight. "John's one handsome bloke"
Wait...John?
"Ya know each other well?", Gaz asks, feigning laxness as he reaches for his glass of bourbon to keep himself busy.
You giggle softly, waving him off with a shake of your head.
"Nah, met him for the first time yesterday. I only know him from Kate's stories and she got a bunch o' those, but it's cute to see you jealous"
"Jealous?", Gaz scoffs, nearly spitting bourbon. She might be right, a little bit at least, but there is no reason to call him out like that.
"What was that whole Dorian Grey act you pulled by the canals anyway? For a second there I felt like I was part of those cringey movies -"
"Dorian Grey?"
"Yes, that -"
You flourish your hands thinking of the right words while Gaz watches you, brows furrowed in confusion.
"y'know, that fifty shades fellow; where he saves that lass from the car or something like that and then she wants to suck his willy in return -"
"Oh! You mean Christian Grey", Gaz chuckles, slapping his knee as he finally gets it until he notices how you're silently judging him with a scrunched up nose. Yes, he saw the movies. All of them. By choice.
He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and takes another sip from his glass while your eyes linger on him.
"We should go on a date when all this is over -", you say bluntly and Gaz is once again caught off guard today. "a real one this time. Preferably without comms and our superiors watching us. What do ya think?"
He's missed your straightforwardness, even if he couldn't keep up with it most times in the past. He still can't, apparently, but that's alright.
"I mean...I'm free tonight -"
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nykloss · 1 year
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Ok everyone! It's time to throw some ingredients into the luau potluck soup!
I trust that you all put high-quality ingredients in the pot this year. We don't want the governor to regret his visit to the valley!
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almost-a-class-act · 2 months
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Miscellaneous Tag game
Tagged by the beautiful faces of @softguarnere and @mutantmanifesto !
Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?
Iceland. Around every corner, a postcard view. Absolutely unreal. I can't believe it exists.
Something you’re proud of yourself for?
I went to an alumni event over the weekend for a big club I used to be a part of at my university, and heard from a few people that I made them feel welcome and included in the group when they first got there. A few "you probably don't remember this, but..." It was really fucking nice.
Favorite books?
The Alice books by Lewis Carroll.
Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?
I missed a call from my nephew on Messenger Kids the other day and then he sent me a drawing of a stick man simply titled "Gustavo".
Favorite thing about your culture?
Tough one, I'm a mayonnaise-blend Canadian. We make sausage every year so I suppose that's a fun holdover from ye old Europe days.
When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?
I watched The Pacific circa 2012 and then I sort of forgot about it until I watched BoB in the fall of 2020.
Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?
I've got the Ambrose book and the Babe & Bill book under my belt. I own the Malarkey book which I've been told is fab but I haven't cracked it yet. My favourite HBO War book is (say it with me!) Helmet for my Pillow.
Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?
Robert Leckie, and it might be that bit at the end where he's snarking about having fought for television. That feels like book Bob Leckie to me. (And it doesn't hurt that Vera gets a kick out of it!)
Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?
I write fic primarily for HBOWar and Justified these days.
Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?
Andrew Garfield and everything he does puts a damn branch in my eye.
Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?
"In the eighth inning, you can't hear the roar of the ninth. All you can do is hold yourself together, and trust." Jim Abbott
Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?
I collect shot glasses. I have a big 'ol shelf of them from all over the world.
If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?
@fayestardust reads most of my stuff before I post it so she can tell me where I invariably left entire words or plot points out. Thanks ma belle!
Three things that make you smile?
My French press, summertime lake swimming, sucking nearby friends into whatever fandom black hole I am currently in.
Any nicknames you like?
My ball team calls me a nickname that won't make sense unless I explain a tedious sports pun to you, but otherwise I don't think I've had too many nicknames that have stuck.
List some people you love to see around on tumblr!
@mutantmanifesto and @cody-helix02 post my fave art. @mercurygray is just one of those fandom bright stars. @onehelluvamarine is a real sweetheart.
There are a lot! It's 11:30PM and I'm tapping out. But I see all y'all.
What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?
I am a backwoods camping gal so I have a water filter, camp stove, dry food, etc., and I live pretty wilderness-adjacent. You guys will have to come track me down if it turns out if was a false alarm.
Favorite movie?
Goon.
Do you like horror movies?
Love 'em.
Tagging: @educationalporpoises @dukesoakedoats @heystovepipeboys @batmanschmatman @terresdebrume @vintagelavenderskies @eoinmcgonigal @lionsaint @fayestardust
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anothercrisis · 1 year
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it was way too long without Nikolai thoughts so come with me to this journe- /coughs/
Food.
I, for fucking sure, know that Nik hates most of his national food. Its just not that good to him. There are some good dishes that he will make in the middle in the end if he curves it. Like Oliv'ye. Its a salad made with potatoes, carrots, any type of meat (or not, I've seen it without meat), eggs, canned peas, mayonnaise and toppings (onions, pickles or cucumbers, ive heard of people adding corn but i strongly believe its a sin). Basically you boil everything, chop it up, add salt, mayo and its done! Easy and tasty.
I'm ready to swear on my mask and glasses, Price almost killed him when it happened the first time. Like imagine waking up to noise in your kitchen and your lover is gone and you hear a loud bang and “Syka! (Bitch but usually used as fuck)” from said kitchen. He was this close 🤏 to strangling Nik but was lucky to be spared. Turned out he grabbed hot pot with my brothers vegetables and spilled some boiling water on himself.
I heavily headcanon that you can- /coughs a little/ you can give Nikolai products and a recipe and it'll be done almost always perfectly.
About Price... well... beans on toast. Thats it. That's all you will be getting. Even if his life would depend on it he won't, never fucking ever, make anything. Not trusted even by Soap to cook anything. Gaz once tried his cooking and got food poisoning and a visit to the hospital. Ow.
I think you are absolutely right. Nik is definitely the one between him and Price who knows how to cook.
And I wonder if it’s because, like with languages, Nik just had to learn the skill to ensure his own survival and to enrich himself since no one else had the time or cared enough about him to teach him.
I feel like when he had free time on his hands, once life obligations like school and work were aside, that he would like to spend it doing something worthwhile, like reading or eating. And maybe it’s like a ritual of his. I’ve heard someone say before (in my own words) that they like to put energy into their cooking because it translates into energy for their body and mind. So I wonder if Nik does the same. If he intentionally takes the time to cook whenever he can to get that settling feeling of care and comfort.
And Price. At the end of the day, he is still a white man and who will only season his food with salt and pepper on most occasions. He doesn’t have the time with all of his duties to adopt a cooking ritual like Nik has, and we all know he wouldn’t be any good at it anyway.
So yeah, when Nik joins the 141 and when Price welcomes him into his little family, Nik takes to cooking for all of them whenever he can. It’s a love language as much as any other.
After a long mission where the team is barely standing, after Nik has brought them all safely back to base, after they’ve all been to medical, they will all gather around the common areas and sit together in comfortable silence while they wait for Nik to cook them something warm and comforting and hearty.
The entire team counts on Nik as much as they do Price. The two of them are the foundation the team stands on and there’s no telling what they would be without them.
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gale-gentlepenguin · 1 year
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ML Ficlet: Mayo on Pizza
(Happy birthday @xhanisai )
It was late at night, Ladybug and Chat noir were patrolling the rooftops. Monarch had been very quiet and the two decided to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.
After a few hours, Ladybug’s stomach growled.
“Sounds like it’s time for a snack break.” The cat hero said with a cheeky grin.
Ladybug was flush with embarrassment.
“I forgot to have dinner.” She confessed.
Chat noir shook his head.
“Well we can’t have that! And fortunately for you. I know a place that is both filling and tasty.”
Ladybug shrugged and followed Chat noir across the city. After a dozen rooftops, chat noir stopped.
“Perfect, they are still open.” Chat noir exclaimed with joy.
“Bruno’s Pizzeria?” Ladybug spoke aloud.
She remembered that Alya mentioned a weird restaurant that Nino took her too a few weeks back. Apparently the toppings were… unorthodox.
But as her stomach growled again. She followed the cat hero as he leaped down to enter the pizzeria.
The bell chimed as the two entered, where a portly man with a glorious mustache greeted them.
“Well if it isn’t My favorite stray!” The man greeted chat noir.
“Ciao Bruno!” He greeted the man with a smile.
“So you brought the bella this time. Ciao Ladybug.” Bruno greeted Ladybug.
“Nice to meet you.” Ladybug responded politely.
“Hey Bruno, we are in need of some Patrol food. Could you set us up with two slices of the Heaven Pizza?”
Bruno smiled big
“I see you have awakened to the genius of the pizza. I will prepare it right away!”
Ladybug tilted her head in confusion.
“Heaven Pizza?”
“Trust me Ladybug, you will love it.”
After a few minutes, Bruno rang the bell and placed on the counter two slices of pizza. Chat noir and ladybug took their plates. Chat noir happily started eating though Ladybug noticed something unique about them.
“What’s this white stuff drizzled on top?”
“Oh, it mayo.” Chat noir said between bites.
Ladybug looked at the pizza in shock. Mayonnaise on pizza?!
She looked at her partner who was happily eating the slice without qualms.
Ladybug was no expert on pizza, but it did seem weird to add the condiment on top of the pizza.
Chat noir noticed ladybug wasn’t eating.
“Trust me, it may seem weird but it’s really good.”
Ladybug looked at the slice nervously for another minute before deciding to brave the decision and try it.
To her surprise, it was actually delicious.
“Wow, that is something.”
Ladybug devoured the slice. Her only regret was she didn’t have another.
Chat noir put the money on the counter.
“Thanks Bruno.”
Bruno gave the cat a wave, happy to know the heroes of Paris enjoy his food.
Ladybug learned that cuisine can seem weird but can make for unique flavor experiences.
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draconic-hazard · 7 months
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Im bored and currently afflicted with terminal brain rot so here is my post about Which TMA Entity I Think WordGirl Characters Would Belong To. This post caters to me and me only bc idk how many wordgirlies like TMA
I might make another post later with more characters if i feel like it
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Becky Botsford, AKA Wordgirl - The Eye
Lets put aside her superpowers for a second and focus on her main shtick: Words. It seems like she knows every word in the english language. Eye avatar behaviour 👁️👁️.
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Dr Two-Brains - The Corruption
Alright some may disagree with me but hear me out. First of all he’s a mouse, which are generally associated with filth and disease and other nasty corruption things. Secondly, he has a second brain attached to his head. One could argue he and Squeaky have a parasitic type of relationship, classic calling card for the Corruption. Thirdly (and admittedly the weakest point on this list) he eats cheese and only cheese, which is basically just edible mold
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The Butcher - The Flesh
Do… do i need to explain? Meat is his whole thing. I wish i could write more but like. This is pretty much self explanatory
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Granny May - The Web
The web is all about manipulation, and Granny May has this down pat. Every single episode with her in it she is making people trust her because ‘oh look shes just a sweet old lady she cant possibly be robbing the banks 🥺🥺🥺’. Also her main attack is her yarn balls which some could argue is similar to the spiderweb thing that most Web avatars have going on
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Mr Big - The Web
Ok so i have less of an argument for him than i did Granny May, but! There is still a case here. Mind Control is his thing, his brand, heck its even in his company’s mission statement. That sounds like Web behaviour to me. Also he’s a capitalist and name one thing more manipulative than capitalism
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Tobey McCallister III - The Extintion
WAIT WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT! Tobey is all about robots, and destroying things with said robots. Now that may sound kinda slaughter-y, but a lot of the times the episodes conflict is also about Tobey thinking robots can do a better job and everything than humans, be it painting, sports, or even being his mom. One part of the Extinction that is slightly overlooked imo is the idea that after the apocalypse, a new, and inhuman species will inherit the nuclear wasteland of an earth we’d leave behind. And who else to rule that wasteland than an army of giant robots? Plus he’s the youngest of the (main) villains, which could be a little nod to the fact that the extinction is the newest of the fears
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Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy - The Buried
This one was kind of a struggle, because sandwiches aren’t very scary so how would one draw a connection to fear entities there? But i believe i have a case here. So! His main attack is his condiment gun, which sprays mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise, which seems to solidify around the target, thus trapping them as they are unable to move. Plus, a machine that we see him use several times in the series is his giant sandwich press, which works by crushing down a target. Awful lot of claustrophobia, wouldn’t you say? Also idk why but he has the same vibes as i feel most buried avatars have (no offence intended)
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agent-bracken · 3 months
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Secret New Year's Santa 2023
Hiiiii @agents-of-virtue! Happy New Year. I’m so excited to be your Secret Santa because I also have really strong opinions on latkes, wrt your Roanoke Winter post. This was really fun to write. 
Bekah checked her watch for the ninth time. December 16th, but just barely… She understood why 12:30 AM was the right time for a secret meeting in the middle of the woods, far off from any trail or manmade light source, but it was still cold and dark enough to increase the distance from home. 
At least it wasn’t snowing. That she was able to hold onto, as well as the multiple handwarmers stuffed into each of her pockets. 
12:31. 
12:40. At this point, Bekah unscrewed the lid on her thermos and took an indulgent first gulp of hot chocolate. 
At 12:41, a thin branch snapped directly northeast of her. A figure stood perfectly still, boot-clad foot held precisely at the point of the noise. It had a large, waxed canvas coat on with a hood drawn close, wisps of warm breath barely escaping a woolen scarf. The figure raised its mittened hands and lowered its hood, revealing a face both exhausted and relieved. 
“Annabelle,” Drew sighed, marching forward through the brush and giving her a hug. Though they had little time for pleasantries in such a sensitive mission, it had still been three months since anyone had seen him.
“You’re eleven minutes late,” Bekah chided, “I was going to turn around.” 
“No you weren’t.” “Was too.” 
“Was not!” Drew stifled a laugh, drawing his attention to a bird having awoken from the commotion. 
“How long do we have?” Bekah took a seat on a mossy log that had escaped most dampness from evergreen tree cover. “I brought you some first aid, painkillers.” 
Drew sat down on the ground, some of his natural playfulness overriding his carefully constructed gruff demeanor. “I have never wanted an Ibuprofen more in my life.” 
Bekah drew out a small box that had a ribbon tied around it in a bow, “Are you hurt?” 
“No,” Drew admitted, “Just to have. Just in case. How did you know?” 
“You know I just know.” Bekah passed Drew the box, and he dug out from a secret pocket on his jacket a makeshift file folder with hand drawn maps, journal entries, and whatever else he could squirrel away. 
He reached deeper into the pocket still and brought out a small burlap sack. “Something else?” Bekah asked warily, concerned about the potential of Drew stealing an artifact or item of power from a cult so difficult to be stationed in. 
“Yeah, something else.” Drew unceremoniously dumped the total contents of the bag onto the ground and dropped his mittens on top. A handful of woodchips, a lighter (precious contraband brought on the last supply run), a cast iron pan the size of his extended palm and fingers, a vial of oil the size of his pinky, a small box labeled ‘CANDLES’, and a damp bag of something that smelled vegetal. 
There needed to be few words spoken to understand the task at hand. Bekah held the flame to the woodchips and gently coaxed an ember out as Drew gathered twigs and pushed stones into a circle. 
“I put salt and pepper in with the potato,” he explained as he rummaged through another pocket, “And I tried to bring some condiments, but everything’s kind of limited out here…” 
Bekah’s stomach sank. Above the mission, the deep trust they kept to maintain Drew’s secrecy, the greater ambitions of the Roanoke cult surveillance program, and even the biting cold itself, this moment would be the ultimate decider of Drew’s allegiance, whether he knew it or not. 
“Okay,” he sighed, “So I had a few leftover eggs, so I whipped up the whites with the last dried garlic bulb-” 
“Mayonnaise,” Bekah interrupted, “You brought-” 
“Aioli,” Drew pleaded, “Garlic aioli.” 
“Fine, aioli. What else?” 
Drew palmed another vial. “Vinaigrette from the fall. I spiced it myself. One of the better downtime activities.” 
“For latkes!?” 
“Okay, but get ready for the shocker. I was on contraband duty last week, and I couldn’t believe it… Everything is in the notes, but there were these two new guys, and…” He held a small packet between his fingers. 
“Barbecue sauce.” 
“From Arby’s.” 
“Barbecue sauce from Arby’s.” 
“Isn’t it incredible?” By now, the single latke sizzled on the tiny cast iron. Bekah offered her knife to flip it with as she processed the… uh, sure, incredible experience. 
By 1:00, the latke was crispy on both sides. Bekah split it down the middle. 
“What’s it like back home?” Drew asked, melting the bottoms of seven candles to the log. 
“Same as it ever was,” Bekah joked. “We found kittens in the garage.” 
“Are you serious?!” Drew paused his work to check her expression, “How many?” 
“Five.” Noticing Drew’s well-intentioned menorah spread, she nonchalantly palmed the lighter from Drew’s hand and melted down one more candle to finish the line. “They’ll be bigger when you’re back, but they look like aliens right now. Little fuzzy aliens.” 
“Little fuzzy aliens,” Drew remarked back. He dug one more candle out of the box and handed it to Bekah. 
Bekah lit it and murmured under her breath as she lit the row of candles. 
“Sorry you’re on assignment on night eight.” 
Bekah couldn’t hold her laugh any longer. A trio of birds flapped away. “I lit candles at the motel before heading out. You didn’t have to do this.” 
Drew shrugged. “It’s still a taste of home.” He peeled away his half of the latke and coyly squeezed half the packet of barbecue sauce onto it before taking a bite. 
Bekah took a breath and held it. She glanced away at the departing birds, and checked for any sign of  human life in range of hearing or seeing them. She exhaled and held out her hand for the rest of the sauce. “This,” she sharply warned, “Does not leave the woods. We do not tell anyone back home. Not ever.” 
“I always have room for another secret,” Drew agreed. They ate as the candles burned all the way down and the fire had been smothered. By the time Bekah turned on her flashlight, Drew was gone again.
9 notes · View notes
skylarmoon71 · 3 months
Text
Timeless Wells (Flash) - Speedster Chapter 19
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That night he’d taken you back to your apartment and left. 
He felt like he couldn’t look you in the eye. 
For the better part of the week, he’s careful to avoid running into you. He can’t face you, not yet. Not until he’s ready to confess what he’s done.
So he goes about his days as usual.
There’s a few times during that week that he catches a glimpse of you. He’s become pretty skilled at avoiding face to face interactions.
Maybe if he’d been more willing to deal with the problem he would have seen the expression you wore every time he evaded you.
~Star Labs~
“Hey (Y/N).”
You’re working in the lab and you don’t really respond to your name, not until Avery is right in front of you.
“Oh, hey.”
“Are you alright, you’ve been spacing out a lot. Yesterday you almost poured mayonnaise into your tea." Evan inputs.
“Sorry about that.”
You haven’t spoken to Harrison in what feels like ages and it’s starting to get to you. After the movie night you woke up in your room. Which you could only assume that he’d dropped you back.
A very sweet gesture.
You intended to see him the next day to plan another fun movie marathon, but it was like he disappeared. Since then you would catch brief looks, but the second he caught your stare he would look away. 
Confused and a little hurt, you were stuck with your thoughts. Maybe you’d done something that night? To your recollection nothing strange happened, so it made no sense for him to suddenly shut you out.
The longer you think about it the worse your mind seems to become.
“Hey guys I’m leaving early. I just remembered I have something to take care of.”
You can tell they are curious, but they don’t push. They both nod and you take off.
It’s time to confront the issue. You stroll over to his office with a new determination to get him to fess up.
It always felt so empowering when you decided to take a stand. The second you’re outside his office however, the doubt creeps in. You reach for the door, but stop halfway.
“Maybe I should stop by tomorrow, he might be busy.”
Another excuse.
“No! I’ve got to do this.”
You close your eyes, knocking on his door.
“Come in.”
From the sound, he’s alone. You step in quickly. Once inside you lock the door and Harrison finally looks up. You can see the way his body goes a bit rigid. The sight hurts. What exactly had you done to gain such a response to your presence?
You try to brush it off the best you can.
“Why are you suddenly acting all weird and distant? Did I do something?”
You’re done creating crazy scenarios.
“You didn’t do anything.”
He still refuses to look at you and it’s not helping to clear his case.
“You can’t even look at me anymore.”
Your tone is bitter, and he removes his glasses, running a hand through his hair as he stands.
“It’s not what you think.”
“Then explain it to me because I don’t understand!”
It feels almost wrong not to have him look at you with the warmth he’s always held.
It’s driving you crazy trying to read him. He finally looks up. If you expect something, it isn’t the heat that’s now visible in those usually playful eyes.
“You trust me.”
His statement confuses you, but when he begins to move closer, you find yourself stepping back. He’s right next to you now and your back is against the wall.
“I shouldn’t do anything to deter that trust..”
You’re distracted by the way he’s now somewhat looming over you.
“I..I don’t understand..”
Of course you don’t.
You’d been unconscious when he shamelessly attacked you.
“Please just tell me what’s wrong, tell me how to fix it.”
He should be the one pleading right now. Not you. For your forgiveness.
“You can’t, because you’re not the one who broke anything. It was me.”
You’re still puzzled.
“I don’t-”
“I kissed you.”
That stops you cold.
“You fell asleep when we were watching that movie and you fell onto my shoulder. I just..I just wanted to kiss you. I took advantage of you while you were vulnerable and in my care.”
He looks ashamed and you feel for him. It was an innocent kiss. Then he’d basically run like some criminal. You would have laughed at his innocence had it not been for the very defeated look on his face.
“We’re both adults, you didn’t have to turn tail and run. Harrison, you've been helping me for months now. It’s normal to be confused about feelings. You don’t have to punish yourself.”
There’s a part of you that’s been hoping for this development, but it’s clear he’s not ready to approach such a relationship and you aren’t ready to lose the person in your life that you care most about. You’re completely willing to set aside your feelings to help accommodate him.
“I’m not confused.”
There’s a sense of determination in his eyes.
“At the time I was. But I’m not confused, not anymore.”
You can hardly believe it, there’s a part of you that still questions it.
“Maybe my obligation to you has extended into an emotional outlet, that is possible. Despite that, how I feel about you, this isn't some need to hold onto you because I feel like I have to protect. It’s more than that. This isn’t transference.”
Now you’re the one who looks unsure.
“Are you saying that you-”
“Yes. I have feelings for you.”
It’s the only thing that makes sense to him. It’s been so long since he even considered love for obvious reasons. When he set out, the plan was just to turn you into a hero.
Now, circumstances have changed.
He’s still too close, and when his hand touches your cheek, it’s as though you’ve forgotten that you need to breathe. His stare has you completely paralyzed. No one has ever looked at you that way. Not since that time. Harrison leans in cautiously. You feel as though you should do something, say something, but nothing feels right at the moment. Not until his lips lay gently against your own.
It’s a tender fleeting touch that’s gone just as quickly as it appeared. Harrison pulls away fully. You don’t say a word, you’re not sure what’s the right thing to say. Your face falls and Harrison feels guilt from the action. Both this time and the one before.
“You shouldn’t have done that..” You mutter.
Harrison has an apology set and ready, but you grab him by the collar of his jacket and spin him around, pressing him into the door. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise when your lips press insistently to his. For a moment he thinks this is a daydream. His hands are raised awkwardly, and you show no signs of relenting. When he feels you nibble on his lower lip it’s like the breaking point. 
His hand slides around your waist as he pulls you closer. A cute little moan escapes your lips and the heat of the sound rushes right through his body. He vaguely feels your hand pulling at his tie, and it slides right out of the collar, dropping to the floor. You pull back and he gasps. You basically rip his shirt open, the buttons clattering to the floor. Your hands move to the expanse of his very defined torso and your lips have gravitated to his neck. You’re leaving kisses at every part that you can.
Harrison isn’t sure what course of action to take. All he knows is that it feels amazing. His head falls back on the door as you continue your maddening ministrations. At the back of his mind he knows he should put a stop to this. He’s at work. This is definitely breaking every code of ethics and he’s the boss!
“(Y/N)...w-we need to stop..”
He’s breathless. It takes a moment for him to finally gain enough control to halt this before it goes too far. His shaky hands move to your shoulders and he regrettably pushes you back just a bit.
You’re breathing is a bit staggered for obvious reasons and his isn’t much better.
He looks at you to explain, but there’s a haze of desire reflected right back at him and he gulps. You look as though you want to devour him right there and he groans, pulling you back in as his lips come crashing down on your own. You moan in approval and Harrison stumbles as you try to guide him away from the door.
“The..couch..”
You mumble in between kisses.
He nods, following your lead. His shirt is still hanging open, his tie is somewhere in the room.
Harrison drops onto the couch, and you fall right into his lap. You’re both sitting upright, and his hands pull your thighs in an attempt to get you closer. You feel everything. All of him.
Sliding off your lab coat, you drop it uninterested. Harrison’s hands have gravitated to your hair and when he gives a soft tug, you moan.
He parts, looking at you.
“You liked that..”
You nod, a bit desperate.
“Y-Yes, do it again.” You insist.
His mouth slants over yours and he gives another pull as his tongue slides past your lips. You hold onto him, fingers running over his bare chest. You love the feel of smooth skin, doubled with just the right amount of muscle. It’s perfect.
He’s perfect.
The minute you reach for his belt buckle he’s almost dying with anticipation. The sheer fact that you’re initiating this is driving him wild. He’s never felt this out of control before.
As faith would have it, it became clear that trying to get it on in a work environment was not the best choice.
You hear the sound of feet skating before you fully see who it is.
“Harrison I just wanted to check in on-”
Barry’s voice startles you both and you basically jump right out of Harrison’s lap.
Barry is standing there gaping and you clutch your blouse that you hadn’t even realized came undone.
“B-Barry!”
Harrison’s appearance leaves very little to the imagination. His hair is tousled, shirt open, jacket hanging off on one side. There’s a few faint marks along his neck. Barry turns around, somewhat mortified.
Harrison scrambles to his feet and you both look between each other.
It seems the jump to reality has cleared the fog of arousal on both sides.
Right about now you would very much like to evaporate. 
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devildomwriter · 2 years
Text
Obey Me As Tumblr #10
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MC: I burned like 3/4 of my forearm on the oven while I was making chicken and my friend was like “honey put some butter on it that draws the heat out” so he was rubbing a stick of butter on my arm and his brother was like “what’s for dinner” as he walked in and saw him slathering my arm in butter and he just slowly backed away
Leviathan: Putting tape over my webcam thinking about how the CIA agent watched me cry everyday for a year and didn’t once check up on me: cut toxic people out in 2021
Mammon: Why do 90% of medicines sound like cool wizard names?
Leviathan: It is I, Zyrtec, the almighty!
Solomon: You are no match for Xanax the Wise!
MC: I’m watching a sports
MC: The sports did good
Simeon: Did the ball go
MC: Fuck dude it sure did
Mephistopheles: Swear worlds are illegal now. If you say one you’ll be fined
Mammon: Heck
Mephistopheles: You’re on thin fucking ice
Mephistopheles: Oh no
Beelzebub: What if mayonnaise comes in cans?
Solomon: That would suck because you can’t microwave metal…
Diavolo: Good morning to everyone except these two people
Mammon: When you shake laminated paper and it does the thing
Diavolo: fwuuubufbuwbfwubfufbuwbuuuBUWBUBHUFUFBUWBUFBUB
Mammon: Exactly
Satan: So this lady came in this morning and walked up to the front desk to greet us before gasping loudly and saying “I forgot my dog”
She forgot to bring her dog with her
To the vet
Belphegor: Anyone wanna get in an argument with me
Mammon: Ok cream cheese isn’t that good
Belphegor: I was kidding but you know what fuck you for real
Leviathan: “You’ll understand when you’re older”
I am older and I understand absolutely nothing
Mammon: #i actually understand less
Beelzebub: Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family
MC: Are you Canadian
Mammon:
Devildom confession
I’ve never seen snow irl
Mammon: I posted this and it snowed like two inches a week later for the first time in like 35 years wtf
Mammon:
Devildom confession
I’ve never had a million dollars
Asmodeus: Does the term “staff member” make you laugh because those two words both mean penis
Leviathan: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
MC: Millennial culture is having two wildly different conversations with the same person on two different apps at the same time
Conversation one — Beelzebub: cheese borger
Conversation two — Leviathan: that’s why I think I’m so afraid of making myself vulnerable because my father taught me I couldn’t ever truly trust anyone
Mammon: Just realized you don’t need to say 6am or 6pm, we already know the m is there so just wrote like 6a or 6p. Can’t believe no one figured this trick out before.
Satan: Or you could do the easy thing and say 0600 and 1800
Mammon: Yeah like adding a bunch of unnecessary zeroes is easy you piece of shit you fucking coward
Mammon: I hate being high why I keep hearing footsteps
Barbatos: Are you walking?
Mammon: Oh shit
Satan: A bicycle is the acoustic version of a motorcycle
Thirteen: What the fuck is everyone on this site taking?
MC: My roomba is scared of thunderstorms.
MC: I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off—no power surges or anything, just thunder—and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles
I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap
Raphael: Humans will pack bond with anything
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paradoxcase · 7 months
Text
@turtletotem:
I saw an absolutely fascinating post positing that Cristabel may have been quite a lot like Gideon. You could certainly describe Gideon as joyful, after a fashion, and kind, and definitely a delight in her marvelous way, but also not much of an intellectual. (Smarter than anyone gives her credit for, including herself, but not an intellectual.) They share a certain propensity toward self-sacrifice, too. (continued)
This blew my mind, considering it was nothing at all like the way I had envisioned Cristabel, but it actually does hold up. And explains why Cris's necromancer (prissy and bad-tempered, not unlike our Harrow) loved her so much, and a lot of other people found her annoying.
Yeah, I was sort of thinking that Augustine's description of her called to mind the same kinds of himbo qualities that Gideon has, but I wasn't sure how accurate we could trust Augustine's account to be. Although, I don't think there were really a lot of people who found Gideon annoying? Crux hated her because he perceived her as being treasonous, and Harrow's family was just afraid of her, but other than that most people in Gideon the Ninth actually seem pretty well disposed towards her, with the possible exception of Mayonnaise Uncle, but I honestly can't figure out if he had any particular feelings about Gideon as a person. Jeannemary liked her enough that she specifically sought out her and only one other person out to tell about finding Protesilaus in the incinerator. But I can see how someone like Augustine wouldn't have been fond of her
@wellhappybirthdaytomeiguess:
So the holy resurrection Augustine mentions is literally that: those who were the first gen my gods were the first people resurrected by John. They became lyctors a few centuries later. It will be explored 😀
Right, but Augustine is specifically saying here that Cytherea was born long after that happened as a regular person in this world and wasn't resurrected in that sense, so it must mean something different in this context
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randomveyn · 2 years
Note
Hello Can you do an Ichigo x reader with a Yuzu who is jealous that her big brother is leaving (because the reader and Ichigo are getting married) and a funny isshin please💘🥺
help this is so cute!! you have no idea how happy i am when i was writing this 🥹 i hope you don't mind me writing this in a freeform (like not in a real fic format. just my thoughts and rambles.)
✨ long rambles under the cut ✨
okay so if ichigo and reader are getting married he'd definitely insist on moving out! it's his only chance to escape isshin's morning kick and his insane fatherly love. also, ichigo absolutely don't want his old man gawk at his s/o and stupidly stick around them the whole day. it's annoying as hell. (ichigo and karin are gonna protect reader at all cost)
isshin will 100% ugly cry on the first time he met reader, shaking their hands frantically, thanking them from the bottom of his heart that they'd even spared a glance on his rebellious, unlovable orange haired son. (he's getting a getsuga tensho from said son.)
after all banters and jokes, isshin might get a little serious (his highest record is 11 seconds flat) and talk about what it is like to walk down a lifelong journey with a shinigami. he has his worries but isshin knows they both are strong together, which reminds him of the day he come the decision of marrying his wife. (cue, isshin rush to that huge ass poster of his very beautiful wife and starts crying all over again)
oh, and isshin is giving them the protection amulet too bc he can't really trust his son on anything. (getsuga tensho on his ass this time)
now, ichigo was surprised to find that his sweetest, cutest little yuzu is not happy about his marriage. (ngl his heart died a little inside) i mean, she isn't exactly opposed to it. in fact, she couldn't be more happy to know his brother found his true love. it's just a teensy bit of jealousy that every younger sibs have for their onii-chan. not to mention, ichigo is rarely at home ever since he started his substitute shinigami job. their family bonding time is only limited to dinner, (sometimes ichigo skip that too) and now you're telling her she's getting none of them??!! just imagine she couldn't cook sunny side up and omurice for him anymore. 😭💔
but fret not, guess who's gonna come save the day!?? it's kon-sama!! okay no he's gonna be bostov for a couple of days, let her dress him up in pink dresses and frills to cheer her up a bit. bc kon self-proclaimed he's ichigo best buddy and would do anything for him.
in exchange, kon wants to be the host on his wedding day. (he ended up being the mascot…yk those that are attached at the front of the car) and, the karakura rangers all got the memo and are here to support yuzu and help her navigate through her emotions. (ichigo is deeply moved, not realizing how many good friends he actually has)
eventually, yuzu understands and feels slightly embarrassed that she threw a tantrum over something small like this. (she's so precious okay everyone give her a hug 🥺) but she's a little stubborn though. like she feels sorry but she's not apologizing this time. ichigo and reader will be invited to dinner, where she cooks up a feast with all her onii-chan's favorite food. “they say lock a man's heart with good food so you still have a long way to go, hmph!” she proudly declares with a smug grin, prompting ichigo to ruffle her hair, just like how he always does.
bonus:
ishida makes the best wedding attire for them. he may have accidentally added too much frills on ichigo's though.
i know we said kon will be the mascot but rukia is offering her building-sized chappy too. and she's drawing all the invitation cards by hand! be grateful ichigo!
“nii-sama! how about thank you gift of chocolates in the design of wakame ambassador!”
“hm…splendid suggestion, rukia.”
“uhh urm…byakuya you really don't have to-”
“kurosaki-kun! did you know chocolate goes well with mayonnaise!”
“omg not you too…inoue”
chad and renji may be all cool on the outside but they're secretly competing to be the best man. if they were to give a speech or something on that day, don't be surprised to find them rehearsing at urahara's training ground.
renji would come up with the corniest speech ever that he can't read it without getting his face as red as his hair.
chad is naturally a man with few words so he'd probably write a song instead. best man award goes to him pls 👏🏻
don't invite toushirou pls he's fuming at everyone trying to convince him to be the flower boy 💀
don't invite rangiku-san too. she has no self-control. she'll drink up every cup of alcoholic beverage like water.
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fictiophillia · 2 years
Note
Heya! This is the first time I‘m making a request so I hope I‘m doing this right ^^‘
I really like your writing with Mammon and an INTP MC, and I was wondering whether or not it would be ok to ask for Mams with an INFP Mc? And maybe instead of smut there could be some comfort? I‘m just really stressed rn and he‘s my comfort character :‘)
If not it‘s totally ok and I hope you have an amazing day ^^ <3
HEKAMDIAKSBSKSBJA OFCC I'm so happy that y'all like my writing lmao rn it's 05:03 am I just woken up and I couldn't sleep, although I saw it is for comfort and I shall do it now. I couldn't choose a song, there were many good ones (when y'all realize the songs are the same mbti lol) and I'm running out of battery :') sorry if it's short btw
Mammon comforting an INFP reader
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warnings : no horny time in this one 😞 only fluff fluff cuddles and fluff
gender: neutral
You two would definitely be the cutest pair in all Devildom.
It's like you share the same mind.
"What if mayonnaise came in cans??"
"That would suck because you can't microwave metal"
"Good morning to everyone except those two."
He loves how caring you are with him.
He doesn't get why you overthink all the time but he'll be there comforting and reassuring every time it happens.
You two were a match made in heaven *drums*
Han han got it? bc heaven- and he's a demon-
I'm going to shut up now-
Any physical contact such as hugs, holding hands, laying his head on your lap/chest, he loves it all<3
If you're the one for physical contact tho? that's ok too!
He'll be sending you those love-ass crackhead memes at 4am
"Mammon it's 4am"
"Ya saying I can't love ya at 4am???"
"Mammon we literally have to get up in a couple of hours"
Maybe your not the only one overthinking c:
Although he overthinks mainly because of insecurities he has gained from living with his brothers so make sure to comfort him too about that later, as he is always here to comfort you <3
Comfort time wouldn't include much moving, I think you'd stay home and in the literal meaning chilling and Netflix.
(If you're ok with contact) He'd pull you to lay your head on his shoulder, laying his head on top of yours- as much as he'd like to be the only laying on your shoulder.
(If you're not) He'd crack a joke every now and then just to see you smile.
He just loves you so much and he can't help but tell other people about it.
"Mammon it is the 29th time you've said it today, WE WOKEN UP 3 HOURS AGO-"
You can see his eyes shinning when he sees you across the room 🥺❤️
Talking about shinning-
You could be smaller, weaker, even softer than him and he'd still see you as his knight in a shining armor.
He'd also give you anything shinning he took interest in, could be a bracelet, could be a rock, it's really random lmao.
You make him think outside the box, you take out the most creative side of him.
You can see right through his charm when he's trying to get out of situations such as Lucifer's scolding.
You teach him to be more thoughtful and observant, not so be impulsive when doing things.
He takes on adventures and takes you out of your funk of overthinking.
He pushes your limits to help you grow.
He helps you to be more confident in social situations.
You're both very chaotic already and together you're just creating more chaos (in a good way!!!)
"How do I flirt with someone???"
"Throw rocks at them"
"Thanks dude."
You both spend time trying new things as you both hate repetitions.
You both hate being restrained and limited, so you're free around each other, he trust you and you trust him too.
He's your demon and you're his human<3
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golbrocklovely · 10 months
Text
since i have nothing else to post right now…
here’s the last of colby’s tweets from 2020.
i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.
if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.
if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol
added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted
~~~~~~~~~~
Oct. 1 - love doing things for myself
Oct. 4 - i’m in so much pain. sos
fan: u ok?
poison oak. everywhere …. everywhere.
Oct. 5 - i like the simple things
Oct. 7 - less is more
Oct. 10 - i wanna make you happy
how am i so busy during the day but still manage to find 2 hours to mindlessly scroll through tik tok? i can’t be the only one
Oct. 14 - i care too much
Oct. 15 - somehow it wasn’t enough
Oct. 18 - fan: I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT COLBY SMELLED LIKE..I WANA KNOW WHAT COLOGNE HE WEARS
mayonnaise
(i hate this man so much lmao)
Oct. 19 - Justin Bieber’s new song made me tear up, that dudes been through so much. no one could even imagine what that’s like.. achieving everything and being in the biggest spotlight at such a young age.
Oct. 20 - @/samgolbach: less than 6 months ago i broke my back. and i decided to take that as a challenge to get healthy again. and today i ran the fastest mile i’ve ever run. so yes, i might be an idiot but i’m a determined idiot 🤘🏼🏃🏼
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 that’s an insane accomplishment ! i remember when it was a struggle to stand up out of bed
new day, same cycle
Oct. 21 - my mom is texting me all the young pictures of me and it’s bringing me memories i didn’t know i had
Oct. 25 - panic attacks late at night are the worst
Nov. 1 - @/colbybrockscar: reminder that it’s no nut November!!! @/ColbyBrock doesn’t even have to try. He’s got this shit in the bag. It probs comes out like baby powder if he tries
did my car just roast me ?
Nov. 4 - this is scary
cuties! all 3 of you! (reply to fan in merch with friend and cat)
Nov. 6 - @/GracynCarr: I can’t believe the audacity of a high school tweet to pop up on my timeline lmao.. miss u tho @/ColbyBrock :)
hope you're well xx
Nov. 8 - so much talent thank youu love (reply to fan's art)
fan: Um. So I tweeted this to you before but alot has also changed since then sooo wanted to say thank you 🖤 🖤 @/ColbyBrock
proud of you, and good luck with your dreams darlin 🖤 you can accomplish anything with the right mindset and hard work. i believe in ya
time flies, and i’m so scared of losing my youth. it’s inevitable i know, but damn makes you wanna cherish every moment you got
Nov. 11 - i hate when nothing is wrong but nothing feels right
Nov. 12 - the person who makes you forget about the rest of the world
Nov. 13 - today marks 6 years since we posted our first YT video on the MAIN S&C account .. 🖤 what a wild ride
Nov. 14 - promise you i’m a good waste of time
Nov. 15 - @/katstuartmusic: “sunday is my funday” - colby brock 2020
🥂💁🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️
fan: Colby u get drunk off of one white claw
fight me
other fan: my money is on mags
round house kicks to the face don’t feel too good
(is it bad that i like when colby gets weirdly violent with us sksksks)
Nov. 16 - the Why Dont We dudes are some of the nicest people in LA
*Nov. 17 - @/gabytriana: It’s out! Sam and Colby were so much fun to work with, and despite what Colby said, I did not hate him when we first met! 😆 Both he and Sam are super kind, smart, generous entertainers who know how to tell a good story! I love them both!! Happy Book Birthday, @/samandcolby
hahaha thank youu so much for all the hard work ! so excited it’s finally here
(interestingly enough, colby didn't delete his tweet… gaby did)
Nov. 19 - went to a Pyschic Reader tonight. my mind is blown. im not a skeptic anymore, video coming tomorrow
fan: Get ready for religious people to freak out
the psychic i talked to was religious, i’m not sure how but i think the two concepts can exist at the same time
Nov. 21 - hard to trust
fan: @/ColbyBrock hey, i love u lots
love you 🖤
Nov. 23 - fan: imagine if @/ColbyBrock responded to this
could you imagine
Nov. 24 - fan: lmao okay so my friend put this together when I FINALLY received Colby's reaper merch yesterday and I had to laugh, I am actually stupid. But I thought it was a lil funny so y'all can see it too then xx
hahahha love it. thank you. you’re not a sack of potatoes in my eyes
Nov. 27 - happy b day @/SamGolbach you know this and imma save the sappy shit for your big 25th bday but i wouldn’t be here without you. you’re the most intelligent, deep thinking dude i’ve ever met and i feel pretty damn lucky to be able to call you a business partner AND best friend
Nov. 28 - take it easy
Nov. 30 - should i hop back on tik tok?
Dec. 2 - @/aaron_doh: At least I got a photo shoot out of it 😄
whaaat. dude i wish you a speedy recovery
Dec. 3 - it’s hard to move on
Dec. 5 - a nice escape is all i need
welp. i guess i’m a lightweight
Dec. 9 - miss you
Dec. 14 - all the baggage that comes with me
Dec. 15 - been workin hard for you , announcement tomorrow
fan: omg are you pregaganant
how'd you know
@/samandcolby: announcement tomorrow… 2021 will be the best year of our lives (and probably most difficult)
fan: are we getting married?? is that why?
yes
i hate how having anxiety makes me nauseous. it’s the worst feeling
Dec. 16 - it’s all about living in the moment and making every. second. count.
fan: yeah @/ColbyBrock how much are you charging for tattoos…
free for you
Dec. 18 - big tool pic but i’ve been workin hard
@/mannymua733: we absolutely do not mind
hahahaha
(god damn… this pic is still so good lol)
also cold weather always makes me want a special someone to spend time with. cuddle buddy is neeeeeded
fan: okay but can we just take a second to appreciate how hard colby’s been working in the gym because dayum
thank you sweeeetheart
fan: HELP COLBY IS TRENDING
yoo i love you guys 🥺
Dec. 20 - got tatted last night and i barely remember
how i feel this morning (pic of him floating)
fan: you’ve seen elf on the shelf… but have you seen cole in a hole? (@/ColbyBrock)
i’m mad i laughed at this
Dec. 23 - why’d ya have to change on me
so bittersweet saying goodbye to my childhood home of 18 years… i’ll only be back to kansas to visit and sleep in hotels from now on. strange feeling, but so happy for my mom and dad for taking a chance and moving
it’s like i don’t have a real “home” anymore. since i move so much anyways it’s hard to find a spot to actually call home
fan: i just want to say that colby has helped me through so much this year. i had a tough year as many others did but you’ve seriously have helped me through so much. i love you so so much @/ColbyBrock
awh that’s why i make videos in the first place. for people like you
Dec. 24 - addicted to you
my mom and i are the weirdest duo on the planet when we’re together i swear
fan: Make a video with her for Christmas
my whole family despises being on camera 💔
Dec. 25 - fan: momma brock is the sweetest ever
she’s my favorite woman in the world
Merry Christmas friends ! 🖤
i wish i could have face tats for like one week but it doesn’t really work like that huh
Dec. 26 - everyone’s battling their own demons
Dec. 28 - fan: Colby drinking wine but he's such a lightweight that he's probably drunk, lmao @/ColbyBrock
����🤫🤫
fan: the vibes are fucking ethereal i’m guessing @/ColbyBrock
you got it
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shouga-nai · 2 months
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@geraniumplant said:
Sanzo opens the kitchen cabinet. You'd think there would be some food inside to eat before class, but there's only a jar of salt & a half-eaten tub mayonnaise. "Huh. Guess you'll have to get some groceries, Hakkai."
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"I've already written the shopping list." One step ahead as always, diligent scholarship student Cho Hakkai had the day's tasks all planned out.
"I've also taken the liberty of checking both our schedules to ascertain when we're both done with classes for the day, so we could meet up and drive to the store." He'd trust his roommate would get the hint~
After all, considering how much foodstuff they'd be purchasing, he could really use an extra pair of arms to help carry them all.
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tubetrading · 3 months
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