Loki: I hate touching people.
Loki: The only physical contact I take joy in is hand-to-hand combat.
Thor: You and Stark are literally hugging right now.
Loki: *hugging Tony tighter* That’s something completely different.
Natasha, to the team: What is Y/n holding right now?
Steve: A pumpkin
Natasha, turning to Y/n: Tell them what you think it is.
Y/n: A Halloween apple
*y/n showed up with a swollen lip*
Bucky: what happened to your lip?
y/n: got stung by a bee
Pepper: Has anyone ever told you you’ve got anger issues?
Tony: I prefer to call it “leadership skills”
Steve, knocking on the front door of an apartment: Loki, we know you’re there! Open the door!
Loki, knowing that avengers will come for him, yelling back: Door is open, just come in.
Loki: Make yourself at home. I finished making dinner just in time.
The Avengers: You what?
Loki: Well, I knew you were going to come today, so I made dinner for you. I would be very bad host, if I wasn’t prepared.
Tony: Despite all, he’s right and it smells really good. Is that pork neck?
Loki and Tony just having a good afternoon time together
Peter: I’ve never seen two pretty best friends.
Shuri: They’re definitely dating… *realizing* Why we’re not???
Steve trying to get Bucky to cut his hair: WITH YOUR HAIR AND MY MAN TITS PEOPLE WILL THINK WE ARE A LESBIAN CUPLE!!!!
Y/n from another room: I THOUGHT YOU WERE AMERICANS?!
Steve: Who besides Bucky and I know everything about the Great Depression?
Y/N: I thought it was called the Grand Canyon?
Kate: Hey, what’s the name of the guy who lives two houses down?
Clint: His dogs names are Walter and Rose.
Kate: That’s not what I asked.
Clint: That is all the information I have.
Bucky: Steve is going on a mission in England.
Y/N: WHAT! Who is going to be Steve?
Y/N: I can be Steve!
Steve: Double Fine!
Bucky : I taught u that
Steve: And I taught u everything else!
Bucky: Then way don’t I know anything!
Y/N: Hey! I have a soul!
Y/N: I do!
Y/N: I do!
Tony: I am at loss for words!
Peter, narrating: Despite being at a loss for words, Mr. Stark yelled at me for the next ten minutes.
Loki: I’ve never been able to “keep calm and carry on”, but I’ve gotten very good at “internalize your rage and pretend you can function”.
Peter: I got an A on my exam!
Peter: uh do you know what ‘wtf’ means Mr Rogers?
Steve: well that’s fantastic!
Thor: Aghhhh! I burned my hand!
Bruce: Quick! Put it on something cold!
Thor *puts it on Loki’s heart*: Way better
Loki: I hate you
Loki: But I’m going to do this to Odin tomorrow
Tony: 911? Yeah, my wife’s going into labor.
911 operator: Is this her first child?
Loki: Don’t you DARE!
Tony: No, this is her husband.
Shuri: My national anthem is WAP.
Peter: Don’t you mean theme song?
Shuri: No bitch I have country to run.