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#incorrect avengers quotes

Loki: Sliiiide to the right.

Everyone: [slides]

Loki: Sliiiide to the left!

Everyone: [slides]

Loki: Cryptid!

Everyone: !?!?!?!

Loki: Cryptid!

Peter and Shuri: [writhing on the ground and snarling]

Loki: FREEZE!

Peter and Shuri: EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR CHEEKS!

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*during a thunderstorm while Clint’s family is at the compound*

Lila: *runs into Natasha’s room and hides behind the bed*

Natasha: Lila, get out of there.

Lila: *giggling* No.

Natasha: If you don’t get out of there, the thunder monster will get you. 

*thunder*

Lila: *runs out screaming*

Natasha: That was incredibly well timed. 

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Natasha: Where is everybody?

Clint: Bruce had a nervous breakdown, Thor is looking after him,  Wanda went to prison, Tony is trying to kill Steve, and I’m in charge.

Natasha: YOU’RE IN CHARGE?

Clint: Why is THAT the only thing that you’re panicking about?!

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Tony:  What would you do if I pulled the electrons from your body?

Bruce:  I would feel positively about that.

*both laugh*

Natasha: You guys are dorks. 

Bruce: Hey! Keep your negative energy to yourself.

Natasha: Will you stop it with the puns? Thor, tell them to stop making puns. 

Thor:  I’m going to elect to remain neutral.

Natasha: You guys corrupted Thor now, too?

Tony: And I have my ion Steve next.

Steve:  Boo hoo, I’m quarking in my boots.

Clint:  That one was a little Forced, wasn’t it?

Steve:  Oh, go fusion yourself. 

Natasha: *holds back laughter*

Bruce: See? Puns can be funny, periodically.

Thor: I think this is our team in its best element. 

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Thor at Tony’s wedding: Congratulations, Stark! I hope you like your gift.

Tony: Thanks [looks around] …where is it?

Thor: Me! I’m not just the god of thunder, I’m also the god of fertility! Naturally, as the god of fertility I-

Tony: I also accept gift cards!

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Pepper: *about the Avengers* Do you think we can really let them babysit Morgan?

Tony: Pep, your problem is, that you still see us as those idiots we were in a few years ago, when we were young, stupid and a new team. But look at us now!

Steve:

Nat:

Clint:

Thor:

Bruce:

Tony: Thor has shorter hair!

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*A rainy day*

Thor: Ah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet, and when one feels like a duck one is happy!

Loki: Ooh! Ducklings!

Thor: Too old to be a duckling! Quack quack! *both walk away*

Tony: …

Bruce: …

Clint: …

Steve: …

Natasha: What just happened?

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