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#incorrect batboys quotes
not-a-good-url-sorry · a day ago
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Dick: Hi! I’m Dick, and this is my sidekick, work partner, brother, son, and personal annoyance, Damian.
Some random dude who literally just wanted to get a coffee: Uh.
Dick: He also murdered me at one point.
Dick: We don't talk about it.
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Tim: You all say I should stop drinking coffee so much. So I started to drink tea.
Duke: Tim, that's instant coffee in a tea bag.
Tim: Well, isn't coffee a little bit like a tea?
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jasonsthunderthighs · 7 days ago
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*Tim and Jason are tied up together*
Tim: You don't think they're actually goin to kill us!?
Jason: Hmm..
Jason: *Looking down* Ah. Rookie mistake, should've tied my legs.
Tim: Huh?
Jason: *Starts to easily get up with his legs, getting up to his feet* Ali oop!
Tim: Hey! Do I even weigh ANYTHIN to you?
Jason: No. It's like holdin a couple of grapes. *Starts running away with Tim still tied to him* Let's go!
*Finally finds Dick*
Jason: Dick!
Dick: Jason! *Looking around* Where's Tim?!
Jason: *Turns around to show Tim* He's right here.
Tim: Hey.
Dick:
Dick: *Trying not to laugh, putting his hand on his leg with his other hand showing one finger* Pfft!
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toriafiction · 4 months ago
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apostate-bisexual · 2 months ago
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Dick: Dami, you going somewhere?
Damian: Out with a few friends
Tim: Demon spawn, do you even have friends?
Dick: scolding* don't be mean, Tim. Damian has worked quite har-
Jason: Ya know, the way to Clark Kent's heart is a lane called Lois Lane.
Damian:
Dick:
Tim:
Jason: The way to Jon Kent's heart is a way called Damian Wayne.
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buttterknifeee · 9 months ago
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I roast you based on which batboy you have a crush on
this is all joke btw pls dont murder me in my sleep
Bruce:
you’re either a millenial or you’re into dilfs
you think you’re the therapist friend
you think you’d be the “cool mom” when you get kids
But you’re the wine aunt
or you said you liked bruce unironically but now you actually like him
Dick
touch starved
you’ve never met a “nice guy” who was actually nice and you want that in a relationship
you’re sad right now i can feel it
I dont think you like reading
Jason
you see your first mistake was having a crush on someone with a j name-
please lower your voice 
To sum it up people who crush on jason remind me of this ex friend named Sophia who gave me trauma
no i will not elaborate
You like to focus on the fact that people say jason likes poetry not the part where he kills people often
Tim
you’ve never met a guy who is equal/ greater than you in terms of intelligence and wasnt a dick about it
hopeless romantic but has never had a boyfriend
you probably also like timothee chalamet or other white boys of the month
You might need to see a therapist idk
Damian
How are your grades?
you probably are a daminette enthusiast because you project onto marinette LMAO 
Why do you fall for guys who don’t care about you
get off of minecraft and get your life together
enfp
Duke
Im cutting you guys some slack bc there’s NO duke content ever
youre either a middle child or lonely tho
Alfred
god fears you
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adcfan · 2 months ago
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Stay Dead
Damian: What part of ‘Stay Dead’ don’t you understand? The ‘Stay’ or the ‘Dead’?
Jason: Demon spawn, you can’t seriously think that I would just die and ‘rest in peace’ in a coffin that isn’t royal red? Now, can you? 
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incorrextfandomquotes · 8 months ago
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y/n: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE !!!!!!
y/n: *aggressively throwing water bottles*
tim: uh,, um-
jason: they’re aggressively caring for us.
y/n: *walking towards them* I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU !!
dick, in tears: it’s working.
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advena-perditus · 9 months ago
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Jason, rolling down the car window: What seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: Get the fuck out of my car
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graysonagarrett · 2 months ago
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Damian: I love Drake - we're like brothers
Jon: You've never gotten through even one exchange without trying to stab him
Damian: BROTHERS FIGHT, JONATHAN!
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nananabatfam · 3 months ago
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Jason: Come on, how many times do I have to apologize?
Dick: ONCE!
Jason:
Jason: No
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incorrect-waynemanor · 5 months ago
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damian: i’m too good for revenge. 
jason: well, i’m not. give me the gun.
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incorrectbatfam-dc-atla · 5 months ago
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Nerd skillz for life indeed
Comic series: batman and robin eternal
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jasonsthunderthighs · 6 days ago
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Dick: Ok, you can all come. But you have to promise me you won't do anything to embarrass me.
Tim: I promise.
Damian: Oh, I promise.
Jason: I'll try, but if they serve me cauliflower, it's in God's hands.
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toriafiction · 4 months ago
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anothertimdrakestan · 10 months ago
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bruce: damian you CANNOT have another animal!
damian: this baby emu needs saving father it's a critical disservice to leave it here alone!
bruce: god what is it with you can taking in strays
jason: *chokes on laughter*
bruce: ?
tim: apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it *gestures to the 12 batkids all staring at their adoptive father*
damian: i think it fucking does, i would have never taken you in drake
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apostate-bisexual · 28 days ago
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Jason: *Arguing*: You son of a... an Angel.
Bruce: That's not really an insult.
Jason: I know better than to insult Al.
Alfred *putting the AK47 away* Good.
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bluejay-the-geek · 3 months ago
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Getting Ready for a Dinner Party
Bruce: Could you at least remove the sword?
Damian: *lays down his sword*
Bruce: And the hidden daggers?
Damian: But what if I need them??
Bruce: *unimpressed look*
*Damian sighs and removes a dagger from his sleeve*
Bruce:
*Damian removes a dagger from his hair*
Bruce:
*Damian removes his shoe and shakes it*
*a pile of daggers falls out*
Bruce:
Bruce: How did you even walk?
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incorrextfandomquotes · 5 months ago
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jason: [looking around at criminals] some of you may die
jason: but that’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make
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xxlilnifflerxx · 2 months ago
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Bruce when Damian has been begging for a pet raccoon:
Bruce: For the last time no!
Damian: But it can help us with cases!
Bruce: *sighing in "why did i have kids* It's not smart enough to help...
Damian: But you let Todd help!
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