Tim: What’s the plural of platypus?
Marinette: Fight me!
Jason: Ha ! Look at your size ! What are you going to do, kick me in the ankle?
Dick: Hum… WHy is Jason quivering on the ground and crying ?
Tim: Marinette kicked him very hard in the ankle.
dick: family trip this weekend!!!
damian: i’m busy
tim: not going
bruce: hell no
dick: the supers are coming too!
damian: let me go grab my bag i’ll be ready in 20
tim: oh wow look at that my schedule cleared up i think i can make it!
jason: is kara gonna be there? i’m there.
bruce: how did you- what- alright then…
Therapist: So… how long has it been since you’ve hung out with friends?
Damian: 27 fortnights
Therapist: I think I see the problem
Jason, to Bruce: I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you
tim: if conner doesn’t ask me out by christmas stockings won’t be the only thing hanging
dick: oh my god tim no what that’s horrible seriously you can’t set your own life value on whether or not a boy likes you-
tim: mistletoe. i meant i’ll have to hang mistletoe.
dick, whispering: hey bruce cancel that red alert it was uh- a test…
dick: what’s up timmy what’s wrong?
tim: i have senoritis.
jason: you… dropped out?
tim: for living. i have senioritis for living.
dick, on the phone with a therapist: yeah great, friday will work for him! thanks! have a good one!
bruce: no no no you’ve got it twisted. YOUR son simps for MY SON not the other way around
clark: pfft as if. which one bought the other a fucking moon so they could actually say they love them to the moon and back
bruce: yeah? well which one fucked their entire sleep schedule for the other, that’s commitment right there
clark: HES A CLONE HE LIKE DOESNT EVEN NEED SLEEP YOU IDIOT
tim and kon: we simp for each other it’s not a competition <3 :)
clark and bruce: iTs aLwAyS a CoMpEtITiOn >:O
Dick, walking into the manor: WeEeEeEe are the chAamMpiOnNs, my fRiEeeEEnds
Alfred: Successful patrol tonight?
Dick: What? No, I have three broken ribs, I’m singing to distract myself from the pain.
Dick: And wEeeEeeEeeE–
jason: dude! so last night i found this great sandwich shop
tim: really! how’d ya find it i feel like we’ve been everywhere in gotham!
jason: well you see, i was on the corner of fifth and blueberry avenue bleeding out and i needed to wrap my wound and i saw this bench!-
bruce: wait say that first bit again?
jason: corner of fifth and blueberry ave, lemme write it down for you… anyways, the guy has the most fantastic honey glazed ham i mean lemme walk you through the flavor combo god damn!
dick: ready for trick-or-treating dami?
damian: i cannot wear this i physically cannot
jason: dude, you have to, think of the look on bruce’s face
tim: get out here kid it’ll be hilarious
jon: cmon dami i bet it isn’t that bad!
damian, exits his room in a kids Superman costume: i- we are never doing this again. GRAYSON PUT THE CAMERA AWAY
Damian, tackling Jason: YOU LIED TO ME! I TRUSTED YOU!
Jason, throwing him to the side: YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE!
Dick, putting the monopoly cards away: I think we should stop.
bruce: what. the. FUCK. happened.
jason: you want the short or the long?
bruce: short i guess
jason: long story short i’m alive, tim’s alive, so it all worked out
bruce: more detail. now.
jason: i continued to breath the entire time tim only stopped breathing for a few seconds
tim: I ACCIDENTLY ALMOST DROWNED TO DEATH AND JAY REFUSED TO GIVE ME MOUTH TO MOUTH SO IM PRETTY SURE I LITERALLY MET GOD OR SOME SHIT BUT ITS FINE
jason: i wasn’t wearing socks you can’t kiss the homies without socks on
tim: SO YOU WERE GONNA LET ME DIE DUMBASS
bruce: are we ignoring the fact you almost drowned?!?!?
tim: potaytoes potahtoes