Aizawa: So from what I’ve been told, the body swap quirk will last about a day or two.
Izuku, in Bakugo’s body: Well, that’s not too long.
Bakugo, in Izuku’s body: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, NERD!
Aizawa: Just calm down, do you two have any advice for each other to avoid any issues?
Bakugo: Tch, stay away from hot places, nerd. You’ll make my quirk go off by accident.
Izuku: Uhhh, oh. If you hear seven dead people talking to you at night, just ignore them.
Aizawa and Bakugo:
Bakugo: What?
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Kirishima: Hey man! Did you get the History homework for Mr. Aizawa done yet? We need to turn it in tomorrow.
Bakugo: *pissed* That damn nerd told me it wasn't due until next week!!
Bakugo: *Texts Midoriya furiously*
Kirishima: *Looks over Bakugo's shoulder at his phone screen*...why does Midoriya's contact have a little green heart emoji next to it?
Bakugo: ...
Bakugo: You never saw that. This never happened. And as far as you know - I'm colorblind.
Kirishima: Even if you couldn't see that it's green...that emoji is still a heart dude.
Bakugo:
Kirishima: If you add a red heart emoji to my contact in your phone, I won't tell anyone about this. 👀
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Kirishima: Bro, let's play chicken. We spend quality time together and the first one to fall in love loses.
Bakugo: Deal!
**a few weeks later, in the UA dorms**
Bakugo: ...dammit!
Kirishima: Ha! I make you happy!
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All For One: Okay Seriously, how many Heros do I have to fight?!
All Might: Oh I'm the only one that matters. You messed with my successor and now I'm going to f*ck you!
All For One: ...
Deku: ...
Eraserhead: ....
Endeavor: ...
Nezu: ....
Present Mic: 🤨
Midnight: Well this just got interesting!
Deku, quietly: Its "F*ck you up", All Might.
All Might: Wait, what did I say?
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After UA bakugou and deku are roommate
Bakugou : "You know... once we get the mattress, we’ll have to break it in."
Deku : "Ahh, I hear what you’re saying."
Deku : "Mattress trampoline! "
Deku : " Wait no- you were talking about sex."
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Sero: hey can i borrow some tape?
Kirishima: bro
Kirishima: your quirk is literally tape
Sero: oh yeah i forgot about that
Kirishima: ...
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Shoto, holding a small bowl of cold soba and eating them with chopsticks: This is my favourite late night snack.
Dabi: I once ate a full lasagna meant for five people with my hands as a late night snack.
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Izuku: Kacchan, we should hold hands so we don’t lose each other in this crowd!
Katsuki: There’s no one here but us, idiot.
Izuku, with ofa sparking green around him: Hold. My. Hand.
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Bakugou: Hey, give this to Kirishi- Shitty Hair over there.
Kaminari: Ohohoho what do we have here? A box of chocolate.
Bakugou: Just give it to him!
Kaminari: You shy?
Bakugou: I- Because you are stupid, because I am lazy, because I don't want to be seen being soft, and because I'll kill you if you DON'T!
Kaminari: Or you don't want Kirishima to know your true feelings for him, huh?
Bakugou: JUST GIVE IT TO HIM!
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Bakugo, doing an interview as a pro-hero: What the fuck is smash or pass
Interviewer: So basically, ill show a pic of your friends and you'll tell me if you'd have sex with them basically
Bakugo: ... okay
Interviewer: *picture of midoriya*
Bakugo: pass
*picture of denki*
Bakugo: Pass
*picture of sero*
Bakugo: pass
"picture of minet-*
Bakugo: PAss.
*picture of mina*
Bakugo: pass.
*Picture of Kirishima*
Bakugo: ... What do I say when I would have sex with them?
Interviewer, laughing: You would say Smash
Bakugo: Okay, Smash. Detroit smash this bitch-
Kirishima, watching tv at a bar with Denki and Deku: ... Nah, hes just being silly
Denki and Midoriya: NO HES NOT!
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Kaminari: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?
Kirishima: I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.
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Quirkless Analyst! Izuku AU
Izuku: You know there are 42 different ways that Chargebolt can be killed in battle if he didn’t practice long-distance attacks?
Bakugo, just woke up and eating cereal:
Bakugo: I thank God everyday you didn’t decide to take the villain path.
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*On the way to their work study with Endeavor*
Izuku: Do you like my new All Might scarf, Kacchan?
Katsuki: I hate it.
Izuku: What?! Why??
Katsuki: It's embarrassing as shit.
Izuku: What do you mean??
Katsuki: *Grabs Izuku's scarf and uses it to pull him in for a kiss*
Katsuki: See!? Dammit that made me look so embarrassing!
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Bakugo: All of your existences are confusing.
Bakusquad: ???
Bakugo: Your presence annoys me, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.
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Todoroki: Has anyone told you today that you're really annoying?
Midoriya: N-No?
Todoroki: Good, I'm not in the mood to commit murder today.
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Best Jeanist, calling Aizawa in the middle of class
Aizawa picking up because it's Best Jeanist so OBVIOUSLY it must be important
Best Jeanist : What's the correct response to seeing my ex-wife?
Aizawa : I'm sorry, your what
Best Jeanist : My ex-wife
Aizawa : You What?
Best Jeanist : I saw my ex-wife
Aizawa : I'm sorry, you had a wife?
Best Jeanist : Ex-wife now. What do I do? Do I adopt another kid like I did when she said I wouldn't be a good dad?
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