Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

In an interview with inc.com, David Karp (Tumblr's founder) admitted, "Being on computers all the time makes me feel gross."

Trending Blogs
#incorrect brooklyn nine nine quotes

Gina: from time to time I send Charles faxes. From Charles. From the future.

Charles (reading): At 8am today someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow. Cordially, future Charles.

Charles *slaps the coffee out of Jake’s hand*: NO! You’ll thank me later.

12 notes · See All

*Jake and Amy setting up an IKEA desk*

Amy: okay so I think we were supposed to run the cables through the back here

Jake: ah yes that would have made more sense

Amy: but I think what we did is fine, right?

Jake: it seems fine to me…but you’ll always know it’s *technically* wrong

Amy:

Jake (whispering): you’ll always know

Amy: you’re so mean to me

35 notes · See All

Soren: Hey guys, have you seen Callum and Rayla? I’ve been looking for them all over.

Opeli: Soren, we need to talk… do you ever think Callum and Rayla might want some… privacy?

Soren: I’m just looking out for them. People still don’t like elves and Callum is well… Callum. He tripped over a pencil this morning.

Crovus: I noticed that too. For such an advanced mage, he’s very clumsy.

Soren: Exactly! But I would argue I am like a beautiful angel of love, who has trouble finding love for himself. Admit that you would read that book.

Corvus: I would.

Soren: Thank you for your honesty.

Opeli: Ugh. I’m getting a drink.

Corvus: It’s 9am

Opeli: Don’t start with me, Corvus. I don’t care who specifically requested you.

76 notes · See All

Annabeth: Alright, uh, the email contains a link to a video. I’m going to play it. Brace yourselves. If it shows Hera, be sure not to look directly in her eyes.

Percy: Because we’ll turn into stone?

Annabeth: No. Because her eyes are ugly.

Annabeth: *plays video*

Hera: Hello Annabeth. Surprised to see me?

Annabeth: Well- i didn’t say bloody mary three times, so yes.

72 notes · See All

Brooklyn nine nine characters as things me and my friends have said:

Jake: I KNOW WHAT A PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER IS!! I WATCHED HANDY MANY!!

Amy: Ooooooh Statistics!!!

Charles: I was in catering, almost sobbing over my disaster of a lasagne….

Terry: WHY DON’T YOU LIKE YOGHURT?!?!

Rosa: Oh, I had a good time shooting Micah Bell in the face……

Gina: I’m not godlike, how can you be Godlike if you ARE a God.

Holt: Please never say “I want heelies in my bones” ever again.

146 notes · See All
Martin: I don't understand our son's texts. He writes "it's allz good" (allz with a z) followed by a box with a question mark, then a box with a question mark, a box with a question mark, a box with a question mark, a box with a question mark then another box with a question mark, then a box with a question mark. What does that mean?
Jackie: it means you don't have emojis on your phone
35 notes · See All

Charles: I’m a grown man now, I can keep from crying for 5 minutes!

Terry: Are you sure? You cried at that cooking show yesterday

Charles: MARIO BATALI MADE A GUEST APPEARANCE! WHAT WAS I GOING TO DO!? NOT CRY!?!?

Jake: You know Boyle, it’s incredibly easy to make you cry

Boyle: I dont think that’s true at all

Rosa: Sea otters.

Gina: Hedgehogs wearing flower crowns….

Terry: Tiny bunnies!!

Charles *tearing up*: Well it’s like my dad said, real men dont cry for more than three days

35 notes · See All
Kidnapper: We have your son
Raymond Holt: I have no children
Kidnapper: Then who just asked for grilled cheese with the crust cut off and chocolate milk with a bendy straw.
Raymond Holt: That could be any number of people I know ranging in ages from four to sixty-two. Could you give me more of a description?
Kidnapper: When I said who we were calling for the ransom, he called you 'Dad.'
Raymond Holt: Ah. That would be Detective Peralta. Well, now I have kept you talking for long enough that we have a trace on this phone number and I know exactly who you are. The squad is already on their way.
129 notes · See All
Next Page