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#incorrect bruce banner
sour-lemon-baby · 8 hours ago
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Bruce: What are your three best qualities?
Thor: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends.
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Bruce: Thor... I'm wondering if you like me?
Thor: ...
Thor: Bruce it's 2 am and we're married
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itskateak · a day ago
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Marvel Texts as Out of Context Conversations between me and my friends (Part 3/3) (Part 1) (Part 2)
Warnings: Language, Some Dark Humor, Sexual Jokes
Format: First Name Seen is the Grey Text (This name is the Blue text for that photo)
DNR: Do Not Respond (In which Sam Did)
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The four parts here at the bottom with the Nerd Herd is the 100% honest reaction of my friend group finding out on of our members was promoted to become a manager.
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itskateak · a day ago
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Marvel Texts as Out of Context Conversations between me and my friends (Part 2/3) (Part 1)(Part 3)
Warnings: Language, Some Dark Humor, Sexual Jokes
Format: First Name Seen is the Grey Text (This name is the Blue text for that photo)
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itskateak · a day ago
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Marvel Texts as Out of Context Conversations between me and my friends (Part 1/3)
(Part 2) (Part 3)
Warnings: Language, Some Dark Humor, Sexual Jokes
Format: First Name Seen is the Grey Text (This name is the Blue text for that photo)
Thanks to @fightmemacbeth for a good portion of these. :P Including this first one:
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[Tony, Bruce, and Peter looking at a bunion on Peter’s foot]
Peter: MJ is back in a few weeks what do I do?
Tony: It’s pretty obvious, draw MJ’s face on it and say you grew it because you missed her
Bruce: Or we could remove it?
Tony: Bruce, I think we already agreed on Bunion Face
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Natasha: 'Sup heteros?
Tony: *spitting out his water, extremely offended* Bitch what the FUCK did you just call me?
Steve: Language! Although, seriously, what was that about?
Bruce: Literally none of us are straight. 
Thor: You can say that again.
Clint: That again. 
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headcanonthings · a day ago
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Thor:...And of course Bruce was there, looking at everyone with his beautiful eyes...
Loki: Why is he talking about Banner?
Valkyrie: I'm not sure, I asked him about the weather and now we're here.
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broadwayfan92 · 2 days ago
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Inspired by @incorrecttonks
(Steve and Clint return after a mission)
Steve: Well, we lost Nat.
Bruce: HOW DO YOU LOSE A WOMAN?!
Clint: You forget to cherish her.
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poessunflower · 2 days ago
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i just had a PHENOMENAL idea for an avengers oc fic
a psychologist discovers/obtains/is born with superpowers and joins the team and it’s just like:
nat: you’re a psychologist right?
oc: yeah...
clint: like a TRAINED psychologist??
oc: yes???
steve: thank god you’re here
bruce: i can finally rest...
oc: what are y’all talking about??
nat: we need your help. professional help.
oc: what—
tony: *walks in wearing sunglasses and iron man themed pajamas* hey bitches guess who just bought netflix because they took night at the museum off??
oc: oh
oc: oh i see
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westannatasharomanoff · 3 days ago
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Natasha: I just want a boyfriend.
Clint: It’s about time! 
Natasha: Alright, what are my options?
Clint: Well, Tony has a lot of money and he’d treat you well, so you’d basically be set for life. Thor would be really really nice to you and he treats his mom well. Steve is like, totally obsessed with you and in love with you. These are all some really good ones. And then there’s Bruce, but he’s too afraid to let himself love anyone, and he keeps making a point to say he doesn’t want you at all, so just ignore him-
Natasha: Wait, why doesn’t he want me?
Clint: It doesn’t matter. He’s really insecure and he’ll probably get so nervous that he won’t treat you right anyway, and he’s 5′8″, so just ignore him.
Natasha: But what would be the upsides of dating him?
Clint: Are you serious? You have all of these options! 
Natasha: Yeah, but I want that one. The one who keeps saying he doesn’t want me and comes with all of the emotional baggage. That’s the one I want. 
Clint: You are dumb as hell.
Natasha: No I’m not. I want that one.
Clint: But-
Natasha: No buts! That’s the one I want! 
Clint: 
Clint: *sigh* He’s smart and he likes to cuddle.
Natasha: He’s perfect! 
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slavicshadownr · 3 days ago
Conversation
Steve: Bruce, get up; you're assisting Clint and Nat with their recon.
Bruce: Why me?
Clint: You're good at math.
Bruce: How's that supposed to help?
Natasha: Can't hurt.
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insaneasgardian · 3 days ago
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Y/N: So do you know how to make crystal meth?
Bruce: Please don't ask that while we're in the lab.
Y/N: But do you?
Bruce:
Y/N:
Bruce: Yea.
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peralta-posts · 3 days ago
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Bruce: And you laughed at me when I went to that weekend-long math conference
Natasha: because you called it funky cats and their feisty stats
Bruce: that was the name, it was so cool!
Natasha: it was not.
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Conversation
Bruce: Why is your skin glistening?
Thor: Loki bought himself a new bottle of lotion and poured it over me
Bruce: Why?
Thor: He said the instructions were to use on areas of irratation
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Incorrect Quote #37
Bruce: [absolutely freaking the fuck out]
Thor: Oh, hey, Bruce. Sorry I’m late, I was brushing my teeth.
Bruce, pausing everything and smiling nervously: That’s good. Hygiene!
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Incorrect Quote #31
Loki: You interrupted me in the middle of my monologue.
Thor: Molonogue.
Valkyrie: Lonomogue.
Bruce: Binocular.
Thor: Moguelono.
Valkyrie: Mocaccino.
Bruce: Macrobiosis.
Loki: Seriously, Bruce?
Bruce, sheepishly: Sorry.
Valkyrie: I see Loki recovered our shared braincell. Thank you, Loki.
Loki: I found it in the closet’s last drawer.
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Incorrect Quote #8
Bruce: I have an idea, but it's kinda crazy...
Tony: I love crazy ideas; they make me rich.
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