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sepia-stained-sunset · 1 year

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Bruce, in denial: I'm so proud of you, my three most well behaved children

Dick, Duke and Tim, busy tying an anchor to Joker to dump him into Gotham Bay: Mmhmm

#Jason Damian and Steph are more dramatically chaotic #tim drake #duke thomas #dick grayson #bruce wayne #incorrect bruce wayne quotes #his kids are feral #batkids #batfam shenanigans

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heavenlyangeliq · 24 days

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Batman “You became Just as bad as he was when you killed him”

Red Hood “You did it first when you spared him and let him kill much MUCH more than I just did. You let so many people die because you couldn’t kill one. I saved God knows how many people by killing one, and that I can live with.”

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incorrect-waynemanor · 1 year

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bruce: i left everyone instructions for when i’m gone

dick: mine just says “dick, no”

bruce: i want you to apply it to every possible situation

cass: mine just says “cassandra yes”

bruce: same rules apply to you

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it-happened-once-in-a-meme · 9 months

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Twitter AU

Bruce Wayne✅️ @brucewayne

Don't worry, we're not changing the name of Wayne XDustries. Haha, got you there

#brucie wayne #bruce wayne #bruce wayne twitter #dc universe #dc twitter #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect bruce wayne quotes #bruce wayne incorrect quotes #twitter #x #funny #twitter au

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vodrae · 5 months

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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

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mindflayer-inc · 28 days

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Batman AU

Batman tells Gordon that he doesn't kill. Thinking that it's a legality issue, Gordon deputizes Batman and gives him a gun and badge. Batman of course doesn't use the gun and just figures Gordon is stressed.

After Joker kills a Robin, Gordon starts to deputize the Batfam members.

Gordon: Next time you see that clown. Take. The. Shot. Rookie.

Robin (Tim, tiny ass 14 year old holding a 45 magnum): Umm... Yes sir?

Batman (plus all the Rogues, minions, and citizens of Gotham when Robin shows up with a 45 Magnum):

#incorrect quotes #batman #batfam #robin #commissioner gordon #bruce wayne #tim drake #joker would probably find it funny #riddler would call cps #random thugs would give batman shit for “giving” robin a gun #yeah 45 magnum isnt standard issue but its funnier if it was

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bruciemilf · 1 month

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Damian: Baba. I’ve acquired an enemy at the academy. He’s been ripping my drawings, teasing me about my lineage, and smearing your honor. I understand murder can’t happen. How shall I proceed?

Bruce: [Has a flashback of Thomas driving to his bully’s house, spiked brass knuckles on his hands, petting his head and smiling dangerously, ‘I’ll be right back, chum!’]

Bruce: …I’ll talk to his parents.

Damian: Todd?

Jason: Finally, an excuse to tackle a 10 year old.

#bruce: nO-#damian: then what do you propose we do!!! this beast knows no peace!!!#bruce: we buy his father’s company and make him take an unpaid internship.#damian: father!!! that is…inhuman. I praise you.#bruce wayne #damian wayne #jason todd #dc comics #dc #batfamily #incorrect quotes #batdad #bruce is very protective of his birdies pass it on #batman #text post

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ditzybat · 2 months

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bruce: he’s killed people

damian [who’s heard stephanie say this at least 10x a day]: but have you considered that maybe he’s just a teenage girl?

jason: yeah! have you considered that bruce?!

bruce: jason, you’re 22 and a male

#dc #dc comics #robin #redhood #jason todd #damian wayne #bruce wayne #batman #batfam #batbros #incorrect quotes

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incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly · 22 days

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Bruce, during a family meeting: this is just a reminder therapy is covered by our health insurance plan

Tim: why do you always look at me when you say that

#batfam #batfam incorrect quotes #dc #dc incorrect quotes #batman #tim drake #bruce wayne

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 2 months

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Bruce: We need to talk about what’s going on with Tim-

Dick: The stalking?

Bruce: No, we settled that-

Jason: His cloning experiments?

Bruce: I thought he stopped that?

Damian: His hit list?

Bruce: What?

Dick: Dami, we’ve already talked about this it wasn’t a “HIT list” hit list- Is this about his spleen?

Bruce: spleen?

Jason: No it’s gotta be the-

Bruce: This was about his weed stash but I’m sensing there are more pressing issues I’ve not been made aware of?

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #tim drake #red robin #batman #jason todd #dick grayson #nightwing #red hood #bruce wayne #dc robin #robin #damian wayne #he is SO ground #he’s gonna be UN-emancipated

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sepia-stained-sunset · 11 months

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Batman, shortly after giving Green Lantern a strong talking-to about not submitting reports on time: And here, my report on- [blinking down at his empty hands and suddenly remembering what happened earlier that week] I do not have it

Green Lantern: What?

Batman: [stone faced] I do not have it

Wonder Woman: May I ask why?

Batman: [squaring up his shoulders] My, ah, my cow ate my report

Green Lantern: ....OH SO WHEN I SAY THE TIME-SPACE CONTINUUM DISRUPTION DESTROYED MY REPORT, IT'S A PROBLEM, BUT WHEN IT'S YOUR COW-

#incorrect bruce wayne quotes #bruce wayne #hal jordan #diana of themiscyra #batcow #dc

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elecilaombre · 29 days

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Tim * holding a can of Pepsi * : Do you guys want some Pespi ?

Jason* laughing* : Some what ?

Tim : Pespi .

Duke : It's PePsi not PeSpi Timmy.

Tim : That's what I said Pespi.

Tim : Pespi

Duke : Please would you...

Tim * interrupting Duke * : Pespi

Tim * shrugging* : It's normal it's because I'm ambidextrous.

Damian : Ambidextrous ?

Stephanie * chirping in* : He means Bisexual !

Dick * at the same time * : He means bilingual !

Bruce * tired dad™* : He means he has dyslexia.

#tim drake #batfam #jason todd #batfamily #dc comics #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #duke thomas #stehanie brown #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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incorrect-waynemanor · 1 year

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alfred: master bruce, you’re back late, i was starting to get worried. how was patrol?

bruce: exhausting. now, how do you feel about spontaneous adoptions?

alfred: we have a long night ahead of us, don’t we master bruce?

#jason is peering behind bruce's back #alfred pennyworth #incorrect alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #batman #incorrect bruce wayne #incorrect bruce wayne quotes #incorrect batman #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfamily #incorrect batfam #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #DC comics #DC Universe #incorrect dc comics #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect dc characters #source: tumblr

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lustwithoutlore · 2 months

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After a mission…

Dick: I can’t wait to go home, have a bowl of cereal, and go to sleep.

Duke: Lucky, I have patrol in like, two hours. No sleep for me. What’re you going to do when you get home, Jason?

Dick: Wait! Let me guess. Crack open a beer, order in Chinese food, and fall asleep on the couch watching a gritty action movie.

Jason, fully planning on having a lavender scented bubble bath while drinking vanilla earl grey tea and watching Pride and Prejudice: … Something like that.

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avensartt · 14 days

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Quote from Scrubs

#its damians pet manatee #batfam #batfamily #dc #art #incorrect batkids #incorrect batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #tim drake #bruce wayne #red robin #batman #artists on tumblr

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91-1lover · 1 month

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What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;

Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?

Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.

Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.

Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go

Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*

Or situation like;

Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?

Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more

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