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#incorrect bucky barnes
Bucky: *screaming* STEVE THERE IS A WASP
Steve: Calm down Buck, it's just-
Bucky:*jumps in Steve's arms* KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT
Sam: And this is supposed to be the most dangerous assassin of the 20th and 21st century?
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kate-bishopp · a month ago
[On a mission]
Bucky: It's so dark in here, does anybody have a light?
Peter: I got this! Lemme just-
Sam: If you stomp your light up sneakers I will tell Stark you were the one who blew up the lab.
Peter: *gently sets his foot down*
Bucky: *confused old man noises*
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hermyohkneegranger · 2 months ago
Shuri: So when’s your husband visiting again?
Bucky: Husband?
Shuri: You know? The one who comes super often. Blonde hair. Blue eyes.
Bucky: Steve?
Shuri: Yeah.
Bucky: Steve’s not my husband?
Shuri: Wait what?
Shuri: Are you sure he’s not your husband?
Bucky: I think I would know if I was married to the guy I’ve had a crush on my whole life.
Shuri: Oh. Makes sense.
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incorrectmcuquotess · 2 months ago
AJ: You're supposed to pour the milk first! Bucky: No, you pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need! AJ: It tastes better milk first! Bucky: It tastes the same! AJ: Why are you wearing Uncle Sam’s pants? Bucky: Milk first it is.
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marvelsincorrectquotes · 3 months ago
Bucky: I am not out of control! I'm a law-abiding citizen now!
Sam: Really? Name one law.
Bucky: ...
Bucky: Don't kill people?
Sam: That one's on me. I set the bar too low.
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Bucky: Fuck you
Steve: Do it
Steve: You won't
Bucky, taking his shirt off: Bitch
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countingbarnes · 4 months ago
T’Challa: The Avengers are arriving in 30 minutes.
Bucky: Does that include Steve?
T’Challa: …Yes?
Bucky: *sprints to the bathroom to fix his hair*
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zemosimp05 · 4 months ago
So far I haven't seen anything related to a dad!bucky, perhaps with a younger reader as a wife, that would be very cute, Can you do something like that?
Okay okay Daddy Barnes actually hits different….so hears little head canons of series.
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First of all get ready for a huge panic attack as you had zero mind set , zero plans of getting pregnant. You and Bucky didn’t even got out from your honeymoon phrase but boom, just 3 months after your marriage, you’re pregnant. And thanks to your pills not working against his super soldier sperms.
Well you’re young…and seriously you two had no plans on getting a baby at least in the first two years of marriage but here we are.
Okay don’t give this man a heart attack just after coming back from a mission, by telling him that his little wife is pregnant. May be make a nice dinner for him. No still not then , he gonna choke on his food so wait for the right time. May be after dinner…when you two just cuddling in the couch or getting into a mood for another heated sex, drop the bomb.
“I need to tell you something…” you’re hella nervous because your husband won’t be expecting this.
“Yes doll? Everything alright...?” he would ask bit worriedly seeing you all tensed up.
“I’m pregnant…” and Bucky just froze there looking at you in disbelief.
“I know we have zero plans….I don’t know h-“
“I’m gonna be a dad?” He would whisper still in disbelief.
“Ye-yeah….listen I know it-“ you would try to convince him as you know this grumpy man.
“I’M GONNA BE A DAD….” He would yell at your face smiling like crazy, making you astonished.
“Oh god doll….YOURE GONNA BE THE BEST MAMA….” He would just crush you with a hug , kissing you over and over again repeating “I’m gonna be a dad…” and how much he loves you . Well you would start to laugh in joy too. You would cry a little too getting all overwhelmed with emotions, and seeing your husband this happy.
Okay congratulations. You have unlocked another level in your husband’s nature. Your protective husband has now turned into a overprotective one.
Don’t forget Sam. He’s the first person Bucky would call saying that you guys were having a baby.
Bucky won’t let you do anything basically. Abort all the mission, his wife and baby needs him.
Though Bucky was a drama king but he knew how to handle your mood swings.
Well the more you get pregnant the more your hormones starting to act up. One minute you’re yelling for chocolate ice cream next minute crying because Bucky didn’t call you pretty today. Basically it’s either food or your husband’s dick, these two were your prime mood. And your soldier was always ready to comply.
You already knew Bucky gonna be great father. He would be talking sweet sweet things to your growing baby bump , how he’s so in love with her already, how he can’t wait to spoil her little baby girl. Yes it’s a girl. Though it didn’t matter to you guys as long as the baby was healthy.
And when the actual day would arrive, it would feel like Bucky was the one giving birth. He would be practically shaking , nervous as fuck, holding your hand when you would bring your beautiful daughter to this world.
You’re crying, the little one crying, Bucky crying too. Everyone was overwhelmed with emotions.
“Careful…” you mumbled softly as the nurse would let Bucky to hold your new born. He’s just terrified as if holding the smallest, most delicate creature in his big arms. He’s so proud of you. Well you’re crying again seeing your husband holding your lil baby.
She has his gorgeous blue eyes, but your hair colour. Bucky has now two dolls to take care of.
You would often wake up in middle of the night finding the other side of the bed empty. Walking in your daughters room your heart would just melt again seeing Bucky on the sofa sleeping and your little angel sleeping peacefully on his chest. Gwad how much you just love these two people.
Don’t be surprise if her first word was “Da..Da…” . Clearly he’s Bucky’s lil princess. Miss Y/D/N Barnes.
From her first steps to her first day of school Bucky would be there (or try his best to be there balancing his work) in his daughter’s life taking care of her, supporting her. He would spoil her with gifts.
Your daughter surely would start to pick his father’s mannerisms, habits, basically becoming a little version of Bucky. She would be smart but way too talkative. Always rambling about something. Her best thing to do tell Bucky about her day when he would return from a mission.
Well she knew her daddy was a superhero and what's his superpower? His metal arm. She would put sticky magnets on his dad's arms while playing or sometimes just draw on it with markers... And Bucky wouldn't even bother to remove it. His daughter made tattoos on him and he would proudly carry them.
Think about your daughter yelling at Bucky “you’re not my daddy…” every time he would shave his beard. Yeah she’s your daughter too, so obviously she gonna pick some of your traits too, mostly your likes and dislikes.
Sometimes it’s get hard , handling her when Bucky’s away in longer missions. She won’t listen to you, throwing tantrums as she would miss bucky. Well you’re daughter was clingy just like you were to Bucky. And Bucky was beyond happy to have two of his baby dolls obsessed with him. He never felt this kind of love and fulfilment in his life. And he’s beyond great full to you that you have blessed him with this wonderful life.
Some days bucky would get frustrated too. You acting bratty, your daughter acting bratty and Daddy Barnes would just put both of you girls in detention. "No sweets for you today you little miss... And you big girl no orgasms for you tonight...". Well Daddy makes the rules in this house.
And just like that one day he would just say “I miss seeing you pregnant…so full…so beautiful… carrying our baby….”
“Doll…Let’s make another one…”
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Imma go and cry in the corner ok bye. 🖐🏻😔 also forgive me for my poor grammar. Reblogs/feedback/likes are greatly appreciated & highly encouraged!💕
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kate-bishopp · 3 months ago
Peter: If someone stabs you, you get to keep the knife.
Harley: And that's how you start a collection!
Shuri: If someone stabs you and you don't bleed out in 15 minutes, you're legally allowed to leave.
Bucky, who's supposed to be babysitting them: If someone throws a knife at you and you catch it, they're out.
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insaneasgardian · 3 months ago
Bucky: Things used to be so different in the 40's with dating and everything. How do you even ask someone out these days?
Zemo: I usually look them up and down and say: "Hey... how you doin'?"
Bucky: That's the stupidest thing ever.
Sam, entering the room: Hey, how you doin'?
Bucky: *giggles and blushes*
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