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#incorrect bucky barnes quotes
incorrectmcuquotess · a month ago
AJ: You're supposed to pour the milk first! Bucky: No, you pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need! AJ: It tastes better milk first! Bucky: It tastes the same! AJ: Why are you wearing Uncle Sam’s pants? Bucky: Milk first it is.
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incorrect-assvengers · a month ago
Sam, texting Steve: Help I’m being kidnapped. Steve: Where are you? Sam: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help. Steve: I’ll call Bucky.
Bucky, answering his cell: Hey? Steve: Where’s Sam? He texted me that he was being kidnapped. Bucky: Sam? What do you mean, he's right next to me- Sam: Bucky: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*
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Clint, falling out of the vents: Hey, Bucky, you're bisexual right?
Bucky, slowly putting down his journal: ....yes?
Clint: Who's hotter, me or Steve?
Bucky: long and brutal or short and sweet?
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cherubbarnes · 3 months ago
Bucky taking care of you when you’re sick! (Headcanon)
A/n: this is just a quick lil hc cause it’s 01:30am as I’m writing this and I feel like a bag of crap all of a sudden. Could be a delayed reaction to the vaccine, could be dehydration, exhaustion, who knows? I hope y’all enjoy! <3
Okay so he’s from the forties so obviously he’s gonna try to make soup or something like that
Except he probably doesn’t have all the stuff to make said soup immediately
So he just fucking swaddles you up in blankets on the couch like a lil burrito
And he kisses you on the head before he leaves to sprint to the shop
He’d come back to find you fast asleep and just leave you be while he’s cooking
His soup would either be terrible or amazing, I can’t decide
But let’s just say it’s amazing and he wakes you up with it and you don’t even have to move
He just gently manhandles you
If that’s a thing??
Up into a seated position and moves some of the blankets away so you can free your hands
Not that you’d have to lift a finger in his presence
Like the second you’re done, he immediately takes the bowl and washes it and puts it away
Immediately makes you a cup of tea
Immediately sweeps every single tissue into the bin
Every sickened and cold-ridden groan that comes out of your mouth is met with a peck on the lips
Despite your protests
Because the man doesn’t care about getting sick so long as he’s making you feel better
He’d definitely watch a romcom with you with your head in his lap
Like cuddled up to Bucky watching Notting Hill??? That’s enough to make you pretend to be sick just to experience that
And when you fall asleep, he just scoops you up and plops you into bed
And you half wake up to find him putting vaporub on your chest and pillow so you can breathe properly
And he stays up half the night in case you have a coughing fit or need some painkillers
Makes sure you stay on your side so he can rub your back if you cough in your sleep
And you wake up the next morning to warm tea and honey
And an abundance of cough drops and medicine just in case
And he makes you toast just the way you like it
And you realise how wild your hair looks so he moves behind you
And gently brushes it out
Like so fucking gently
Then when he’s done he puts it in a loose braid for you
Kisses you on the forehead when he comes back around to your front
What I’m saying is, he’d baby you so, so much
Because he’s a softie like that
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sgtbarnesprotectionsquad · 3 months ago
Sam: Okay, truth or dare?
Bucky: Truth
Sam: How many hours have you slept this week?
Bucky: ....Dare
Sam: Go to bed
Bucky: I don’t like this game
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theincorrectbrain · 7 months ago
*in the mall*
sam : it's the alpaca world
*talking to the employee*
sam : where do the alpaca from? are they from colorado
employee : no, this is come from peru
bucky : oh really
sam : *pointing at a yellow jacket* that's probably from real alpaca
bucky : i don't think there's yellow alpaca
sam : well they dyed it
sam : why did-
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Bucky, baking mini poptarts at 3 in the morning: Naked, flayed, ready for a new life.
Sam, watching: Great, never say that around me ever again.
(source: baking at 3am while my brother grabs a water)
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kozkalovesloki · 7 months ago
Steve: So... I asked her out.
Loki: Hold on, you date girls? But the bear gay vibes, big ass and muscles?! And that really touching story about your friend Bucky here? I thought you are secretly together.
Steve: W-what? No! I'm not gay!
Tony: I'm with Loki. You're an awkward closet gay, Cap and there is nothing bad or wrong about it, really, ya know?
Steve: *blushing* I know, but really I'm not-
Bucky, patting Steve's shoulder: You're burying yourself Steve. Just say your info guys too and let's call it a day.
Bucky, whispering so only Cap can hear: So we can have some fun time together.
Steve: You are unbelievable, all of you! *walks away angrily blushing*
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cherubbarnes · 4 months ago
Okay y’all I know there’s not a lot of you so maybe nobody will interact but whatever. I’ve got a couple final assignments and an exam to do for uni (wish me luck!!) and after that I wanna actually write on here! I do English w Creative Writing but I never actually write on here aside from a couple incorrect quotes I did a few years back so, why not use what I’m learning. I mean, one of my assignments is to write fan fic about a play we studied, no word of a lie.
So, I’ll prob only do mcu for now (mainly Bucky) but if you have any requests, let me know!!
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bitchy-marvel-dude · 9 months ago
1940′s Stucky
Bucky: Whenever Stevie’s mad at me, I go and tighten the lids on all of our jars so he has to get help from me.
*The sound of glass breaking in the background*
Bucky: It hasn’t worked yet, but it’ll happen
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Sam: I'm getting a very bad feeling about this place
Bucky: That's because you're a coward
Sam: No. It's because I value my life and don't want to die horribly
Bucky: Fair point.
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