Tumgik
#incorrect corpse husband
brett-writes · 1 year
Text
Sykkuno: I think I need a hug. Sykkuno, being tackled to the ground from six different directions by Jack, Tina, Rae, Toast, Ludwig and Corpse:
123 notes · View notes
nanoa1foryou · 1 year
Text
Corpse: I traveled with Foolish once... Corpse: Into a fucking wall
13 notes · View notes
shaendorai · 1 year
Text
Kalecgos: People have asked me if I’m a glass half full of a glass half empty person. And I have have come to this conclusion *abruptly smashes the glass on the ground
10 notes · View notes
incorrectwattpad · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
18 notes · View notes
luxthestrange · 10 months
Text
TWST Incorrect quotes#533 HE IS MINE
When You Found Out...Some Great Value Corpse Bride took Idia, Ortho didn't have to finish his sentence for your help when you asked him where is the blastcycle Ignyhide was working on
Ortho*Seeing that the school and area are locked down*Everything is locked down! How are we gonna get in?
Yuu*On the Front turning on the blastcycle and telling ortho to put a song...and another that fits the mood*
"F*ck you up! Harveston Hits"-
Yuu*Has hands on the handles looking at the last rescue gang*Buckle up my ortho~WE'RE DOING A SHREK!~
-At the wedding-
Idia*Was putting on his suit and being held to be in place along with Eliza and sobbing that no one is coming to save him, leaning away from Eliza whose puckered lips are going closer to his*
CRAAAAAAASH
Ace*Peeks into the now broken wall hole at the wedding*WE OBJEEECT!?
Yuu*Getting out of the vehicle and jumping on the ground to look at the Ghosts with glaring seething hatred at Eliza*YOU WANT MY HUSBAND...YOUR GONNA HAVE TO KILL ME!?!
Eliza*Rolls eyes and snaps her fingers and points to you signaling her Nanny and Gramps to take care of you all*
You soon enough launch yourself toward one the biggest ghost and...MASSACRETING THEM IN YOUR PATH OF WRATH...
GuardGhost*Frowning*WHAT THE -THEY'RE JUST A HUMAN!*Moves out of the way from a soldier ghost that falls near being chocked by their own ghost tail thingy, grabs him, and pushes him towards the angry human*THEY'RE JUST ONE HUMAN! TAKE CARE OF-*Stops talking when the one SAME ghost was killed in an instant he pushed him their way*
Idia*Taken aback by You easily making your way thru the ghosts*...
Rook*Backs you up but is soon grabbed by you and is used like a bat to hit another ghost*
Yuu*As you get on the dented blastcycle again and drive around the vehicle destroying the cake, tables, and seats on your path you speed up to the altar with an enraged glare at Eliza but stop at the last min, get off punch the last ghost standing on your path, Glaring up at the Ghost Bride*...
Eliza* Looks down at you as you grab Idia and throw him over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and rolls her eyes and huffs*...
Yuu*Looking at her, pointing at Idia's ass and then at self*THIS ASS IS MINE!?!*Slaps Idia's ass to emphasize that*
Idia*Eyes widen and blush as he looks extremely happy thru his eyes*!?!?
Ortho*With the biggest sparkly eyes seeing you carry his big brother and grabbing his hand to take the both of them home*...Can you please really marry my brother...
youtube
I HAVE BEEN HOLDING THIS ONE TILL THE EVENT WENT OUT AGAIN-
You went full ghostbuster on their white tails...
The Guys + Crowley*After witnessing what you did*
Tumblr media
The Men were rendered speechless-
473 notes · View notes
dragonsdendoodles · 2 months
Text
MPHFPC Incorrect Quotes Masterlist 1
Because I like organizing things :)
No Murder in Walmart
Sitting on the Floor
Stop Undressing Him
You Never Let Me Do Anything
Upside Down Chip Bag
Thumb Condom
Jacob Knows Everything
Lemon Drop Cookie
I Didn't Get My Permit
Suck It
Cocoon Boy
Picnic
Something to Complain About
Patient
A Day of Sensory Issues
Cool Guy Stuff
Watch Me
Egg Shortage
Forgotten How to Fingers
The Last Thing You Registered
Purple
That's a Cockatoo, Actually
Grenades
Can I Cut You?
What's the Point
Adulting
No Thank You
Caffeine and Sugar
Suspicious
Attention Disorder
I Wonder How Painful It Would Be
Daddy Issues
Roadkill
Like Children
Not Short
The Power of Salt
Today's Just Out For My Blood Evidently
Dehydrated
Counterproductive
No Coffee Fuck Off Part 1
Crazy Religious People
The ADHDs
I'm Causing You Pain
Cunt is My WORD, Jacob
Sunset
Morals
Mini Cooper
Dumb Joke
Power Wash
Jelly Beans?
Attention Whore
Five-Second Rule
/////LIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION/////
*cough* it broke and Levi doesn't wanna fuck with it right now
Lick Only a Little Bit Satanic And Whose Fault is That? You Gotta Dab When You Leave Bean Water Part 1 Bean Water Part 2 (Soy Sass) Yelling It's Your Birthday. Full Circle Mop Juice? An Irish Lad Sugar or Glass Pain in the Ass You Haven't Eaten All Day You're Gonna Papercut My Eyeball! Oh! Helping It's Still 10 pm Have You Lost Object Permanence? NOT a Bean Macaroni You've Met Me That's What She Said British Football No Coffee Fuck Off Part 2 Stop Tickling Me No Comfort Pull Door Not a Child Basically Cake Hugging Lobotomy Hazard to Society You're Just Weak Breakfast of Champions Gifties You Almost Got Me Arrested Cocaine, Obviously Temperature Gun Is That Cheese or Skin? Anarchy Spoons Chip Box Chips Headcanon for Christians The Fuck Word Knives Last Name The Gays Are Coming I Want the Floor
Currently Unposted:
Go to College Since You're Old, and Deaf You've Never Seen a Chalkboard? You Like Trains? Testing Pillows Cheese Part 1 Cheese Part 2 Good Place to Get a Rock I Can Commit War Crimes Matte Black Range Rover Homophobic That's Called Death 10-4 Humidity Pilot Jumping Enoch Stop Drinking Water Okay, Millard Eating You Jelly We Like Murder 12:30 Part 1 12:30 Part 2 Fidget Toy of the Day Gay Month is Dead You Have a Boyfriend? Millard's Book I Prefer "Blessed", Thanks Migraine Are You Crazy? You Dumb Whore I Want a Challenge Spite Debt is Better Not Country Fancy Boy Stop Acting Dead You're Only 5'6 You Are a Smoothie Gaytor Last One at the Table New Nike Motto Even More White Sleep In Dodge Charger Pride Support Group Smudgy Pen Speaking British No Textbooks I Look So Gay Kind of Correctly North Dakota Peanut Allergy It's Fucking Labor Day Light the Hotel on Fire You Know What Else is Weird? Enoch You Do Share Credit Score Wasteful Flannel Bisexual Not an Advocate That is So Real Universal Flannel Who WINKS Anymore? Honest Cars Exploding Watch Your Pronouns Dead Things Chronically Straight Great Liquid Personal Taste Boyfriend Privileges 1:07 Cigarettes? Nerds Gummies I Want a New Brother Out of Character That's Because You're Old Foaming? Big Fork Trigonometry Boy Voice Anxiety Squishy Swedish Fish I'm a Ginger, What Do You Think Oh My God, it's a Man Lengthed Pi Older Than Three Slap-able Catboy Homosexual French Boy and Homosexual Bitch Boy Icing Gremlin 1 and Gremlin 2 No Murder at Walmart: The Sequel Tomatoes No More Husband, Horace The Flu Part 1 Triceratops Loving Murder You Know I Don't Colossal Mess Not All Men Habit of Handling Corpses You're Gay What Color is the Rainbow? Skillet The Flu Part 2 Olives Mad at Me SMART-Smart Spaghettios Smug Mac and Cheese Ooo, Yummy You're Also Nice to Me Dressing, But Crunchy 5'11 Gasoline
Characters:
Miss Peregrine: quoting - 4 mentioned - 2
Jacob: quoting - 81 mentioned - 6
Emma: quoting - 32 mentioned - 4
Millard: quoting - 36 mentioned - 2
Bronwyn: quoting - 15 mentioned - 0
Enoch: quoting - 99 mentioned - 22
Horace: quoting - 64 mentioned - 10
Olive: quoting - 7 mentioned - 0
Claire: quoting - 3 mentioned - 0
Hugh: quoting - 28 mentioned - 0
Fiona: quoting - 3 mentioned - 5
Noor: quoting - 20 mentioned - 1
26 notes · View notes
theroundbartable · 2 months
Text
In my medieval course, we just discussed Parzival, and honestly my favourite character is Parzivals cousin Sigun. (I apologize for any incorrect retellings, this is based on what I can remember from the lesson. She also had to rush the course, so it's really random. Corrections welcome.)
Parzival meets Sigun like 4 times:
1. Her husband is dead and she carries his headless corpse around, as she like... Talks to Parzival over tea or smth.
2. I think she kinda curses him here, because he made a mistake at some king's place. (Was that her?)
3. She let herself be cemented into a square and gets fed through a slit in the wall.
4. Dead
Anyway, what a legend.
7 notes · View notes
valleynix · 5 months
Text
How I Would Have Written Resident Evil: Village
let me preface this by saying a few things: i am slightly tipsy as i write this, so i apologize for any misspellings, incorrect lore, or things not articulated well. i also do not hate Ethan nor the original story of RE8, but i do think there was a lot of wasted potential and unnecessary plot holes
moving on, under the cut
i'll start off by saying that i loved Biohazard. it's genuinely one of my favorite games and the atmosphere is done so well. i love the horror, the mix of action, and the genuine fear you can feel as you run around, searching for answers.
Village did not have this, and it was a massive disappointment, as was the game itself, overall. i do still love it and it'll always be one of my favorites, but Capcom fumbled hard with the plot and the general story.
let's start off with this: in my own little fantasy land where Capcom doesn't hate women (joke), Mia would have been the protagonist in Village. think about how well the story could have gone between her knowledge from the Connections, her unknown relationship with Miranda, the fact she likely would have been struggling to actually fight (just like Ethan should've), and how much different her interactions would be.
i'm genuinely so tired of seeing husbands and/or fathers searching for their lost wife and/or child in horror games. appeal to a different audience!!! where's my mother searching for her lost child, taken by Eldritch horrors???
anyway, i won't be super detailed, but we'll say Mia is the protagonist and Ethan is sidelined :3
throughout the game, i personally would have made it much more obvious that the lords are indeed a family. like, i thought it was obvious enough, but apparently lots of people in this fandom didn't get the memo?? so i would make it more apparent.
and just like i mentioned in the one video i'd already made on this (kinda), i would have changed the lords' appearances and their deaths, pretty much meaning that only Donna (maybe) would have been killed. everyone else would have just been something for her to escape from.
(i'm sorry this isn't super detailed. i don't want it to turn into an eight hour essay, which i may do for a video later on, but anyway)
i will say that i probably would have changed the beginning sequence and made it more mother-daughter focused before Rose is taken. like, imagine Rose being kidnapped right from under Mia's nose without all the brutality and shooting, as comedic as that was, once you knew. the whole thing with Chris not telling Ethan what was going on was probably the dumbest thing in these games and i will forever stand by that.
so, we'll just say that Miranda somehow finds a way to subdue Mia long enough to kidnap baby Rose, and Mia wakes up cold and alone and has to follow a barely-there trail of footprints and feathers that eventually lead her to the village and the horrors within
i also probably would have kept the game during nighttime or early morning, simply because of how terrifying that would be. it's not as fun when you can blatantly see the mutants trying to stalk you (ahem. lycans.)
at this point, Rose is taken and we now have an angry mother on our hands that is very wary of what's going on around her, but now knows that Miranda is a culprit (because in my mind, Miranda has no real reason to hide from Mia, and came to her in her true form). this would leave the audience to question what she really knows and what she's been hiding, and while it would create skepticism, it would also generate curiosity.
Mia traverses the village in relative darkness, led only by the moon's light (hehe symbolism) and the occasional torch. she searches the village for any inhabitants, and while she mostly finds blood and corpses, she also finds a group of people still surviving and untrusting of her.
i think the scariest thing would be that every time Mia progresses and comes back to the village, more people are missing and she finds out rather quickly that it's Miranda's doing. this would leave a sense of fear within her: Miranda is watching and waiting, she is causing Mia distress and threatening her without outright doing anything, letting her know she is unsafe and alone without ever laying a hand on her.
we'll say she goes to Donna's first, under the impression that the hermit dollmaker could have taken Rose per Miranda or she's just being mislead by Miranda posing as a villager (or even the witch lady). from there, she's forced through hallucinations, vivid fabrications of Rose and Ethan, all while struggling to see what is real and what's made up.
she finds out that Rose isn't at the Beneviento Estate, but now, Donna isn't letting her leave. she's not allowed to let her visitors through those doors, saying something similar (though perhaps slightly more afraid) to, "Don't leave... I can't let you." this may hint at the fact that Donna herself does not want to hurt Mia, but cannot let her leave.
Donna's boss fight consists of hallucinations and fabrications, and Mia "dies" when she succumbs to one and doesn't realize what it actually is. there is no "monster" in this section, but it's probably one of the scariest parts, as it takes place throughout the blackened estate and the dolls are, in fact, still moving and making little noises.
Mia escapes somehow, and when she returns to the village, she overhears a conversation from Miranda and someone else (perhaps Rednic?) basically hinting at the megamycete and the ritual and what needs to be done. this begins the plot of finding out what the fuck is going on and where the hell is her daughter, which she believes will be found together.
(sad mother moments, of course. i'd make them tearjerking.)
Mia then finds herself stumbling to Moreau's reservoir, cold and angry, and from here, she starts to realize just how deep Miranda's corruption really goes and how much danger she's actually in. in her mind, prior to this, she thought Miranda was under some kind of control or that she was simply a lackey in a larger scheme of things.
after all, the Miranda she knew was much different than this one, much less angry and violent. Mia doesn't recognize this woman any longer, and she begins to find herself very afraid of what she's gotten herself into, though she doesn't regret it.
Mia hears Moreau's pleas for his mother to help him, to be proud of him, to notice him, and all Mia can feel is the heartbreak of a mother watching this child throw a tantrum for his mom's attention. she tries to kill him, but in the end, she finds herself out of ammo and cornered and freezing her ass off, as well as injured from wounds so graciously gifted to her by lycans and the varcolac.
she escapes, leaves Moreau to his cries and his desperation, and at this point, Mia wonders just how much farther she can go until she collapses. she remembers those little moments with Rose when everything was starting to look up and when she thought her life was going to be normal again, and for a time, she fades into unconsciousness.
when she wakes, it's eerily quiet, and she knows she needs to leave. after more of the villagers go missing and they mention laughing and screaming from the castle, Mia decides she will go there next in her attempt to find Rose and take her away from this fucked up place, get her out of Miranda's grasp before she can do god knows what with her.
the castle is... eerie, yes, but not quite as dangerous as she had been expecting. she meets the Dimitrescus and she's most likely flirted with a bit (as they tend to do), and because Mia is a woman, her pleas are heard and she is allowed to speak, if only for a moment. they come to find that Mia is only there for her daughter and she will gladly leave once she's found, but they're under orders from Miranda now to keep Mia alive (wink wonk).
that doesn't stop them from chaining her up and giggling as they leave, as they did before. i'd make the castle much darker and make more noises throughout the halls, like footsteps or quiet laughter, maybe some soft clanging or things slightly being moved, like vases or chairs, only for there to be nothing.
it's creepy, but there's nothing outright dangerous until Mia finds herself cornered in the kitchens with a very angry Bela now out for blood. she holds back only a little during this little spat, but eventually, it gets to the point that Mia shoots open the window and only distracts Bela before she runs and manages to get away.
(it's now a safe room for her, as Bela would have run away when her weakness was exposed and warmed up, bruised ego be damned. she'll just regroup with her sisters and go from there).
i think the phone call scene would still happen, but it would be a little different. at the very least, it would still show that Miranda does not care about the lords as much as she claimed to and cares more about the ritual and ceremony, but now Lady Dimitrescu is pissed and wants Mia out of her castle before she can actually kill one of her daughters.
(i like to think Bela and/or Cassandra would be in the room, quietly observing, and if the player looks away long enough, looking back would show one or both of them staring right at Mia before quickly looking away. you know the drill).
Mia somehow finds a way to sympathize with Lady Dimitrescu, perhaps because she refuses to kill Daniela while the former is nearby or something, and she ends up escaping (though it's obvious the action is allowed, as Lady Dimitrescu is blatantly keeping her distance but ensuring Mia is chased out. yada yada).
more creepy village stuff happens, more fights with lycans, blah blah. i'm not entirely sure what to do here, but i'll think more on it.
the factory would be last, and i think it would be incredibly interesting with Heisenberg likely knowing that Mia and Miranda had a past together. he might try to use that against her and try to convince her that Rose is their only hope for being free (maybe playing into what she'd seen with his siblings), but he's ultimately denied again.
Mia doesn't know this dude, doesn't know his true intentions or if teaming up with him will guarantee her death at the price of his freedom. everything she'd gone through would have been for nothing, and so, she refuses.
i think the factory would have been creepier if the mechanical noises weren't so loud and in-your-face, but that's just me. keeping the lights low and the enemies quieter but still lit up would have been great, but oh well.
after making it through the factory and proving how strong she really is (never doubt a mother), she is, once again, faced with the opportunity to join Heisenberg or join the dead. she denies him once more, manages to escape the factory (and Sturm) as metal flies by and she's probably pierced a few times, and when she eventually becomes free, she just collapses in the middle of a dusk-lit village.
she's been through so much, lost everything dear to her, and she still hasn't found answers or her daughter. she begins to wonder if she ever left that first hallucination at Lady Beneviento's but she's too tired to care-
and then the moldy tendrils begin breaking from the ground, near enough to terrify her but far enough to know that she's not in immediate danger. she hears laughter and searches through the mold (which she comments on), vision blurry, only to completely freeze when she finds Miranda standing near one of the tendrils, watching her with a fond smile on her face.
this is all i've thought about (because the ANGST of seeing your, at the very least, old coworker/friend who is now a CULT LEADER and trying to kill you...) but i'll probably expand way more on it if i ever do a video on it. i didn't want this to turn into a massive ramble (even if it already did), so i'll pause here for now.
i didn't hit everything i wanted to and i'm sure i'm missing a LOT of points, but these were all the major things i would have changed or implemented. i am very tired and tipsy, and i do apologize for anything that doesn't sound quite right or that's left with like... no other point or explanation. i'll do better next time <33
17 notes · View notes
flunkyofmalcador · 2 years
Text
This is for @relax-and-read-on and @incorrect-primarchs-quotes
I did a "Primarch sexual head canons" about seven years ago. I've had time to rethink some of them, so here we go. (It's not like I could find the original post at this point anyhow.)
Lion El'Jonson: The one true asexual of the bunch. I just cannot see him being interested in anyone. I've tried.
Fulgrim: He's metasexual. He has never met-a-sexuality he didn't like. He's an entire LGBTQ+ pride parade in power armor. In an open relationship with Ferrus Manus, but Ferrus doesn't take advantage of the arrangement except when they have threesomes. And hoo doggy do they have threesomes.
Jaghatai Khan: He's straight, but is kind of having thoughts about Sanguinius in the Siege of Terra. He has a lot of wives and kids back on Chogoris.
Perturabo: Dear Perturabo. He surrounds himself with automata and sleeps in a labyrinth which makes me think that he was sexually abused along the way. I also headcanon him as a deeply closeted trans woman, so closeted that even Pert doesn't know it and sadly, nothing may ever come of it. He is content with his own ministrations, and some fan writers have said he makes his own sex toys, which I think is likely. He could fall in love easily, which is another reason he stays remote from people.
Leman Russ: Speaking of doggy...I don't hate him, okay? and I have a lot of head canons and even some fic about him. He's married to Sigrun the Wolf-Queen. Like Luther and Kor Phaeron, she is one of those half-Astartes the Emperor could fashion. They have four kids together. Russ is open! and friendly! in his physical affections and he and the Queen have an open marriage because they are apart so often. He is absolutely magic in bed because his wolf-nose can sniff out what's turning his partner on or not. He knows what you want before you do.
Rogal Dorn: A typo in another writer's commentary about Dorn sending poetry to his lovers via astropathic choir made me think that he would actually be pretty good at polyamory. He has the 100% honesty required for it. Bisexual, but strongly prefers women. In my Daughters AU he and Perturabo finally break the ice and fall for each other hard.
Konrad Curze: In "Butcher's Nails" and other ADB works about the Night Lords, it's made pretty clear he's a necrophile. In "Butcher's Nails", Lorgar comments to Angron that a corpse-filled Dark Eldar ship "looks like Konrad's bedchamber". My brother in Christ, what were you doing in Konrad's bedchamber?
Sanguinius: GAY. Unfortunately, between being 700% gay and raised in a patriarchal desert society he's also quite the little misogynist. Had very little experience before he met Horus, and the two were inseparable immediately. Read my fic "Wings" for the whole story. After he and Horus break up, he transfers his affections to Jaghatai Khan. Khan's open to the idea.
Ferrus Manus: I have a really different headcanon from most people because I see him as a widower. His wife and kids died on Medusa and he only came back to life himself when Fulgrim walked into his lonely forge. He loves it when Fulgrim wears lingerie and as I said above, they enjoy a good threesome.
Angron: Spent his entire life being abused. He's not asexual at all but I think he knows he's too dangerous to try to have sex because he is NOT a rapist. I like the idea of him being one of Lotara's two husbands, but honestly I think Lotara is lovers with Kharn only.
Guilliman: His libido is sublimated as hell, but it's there. He's attentive to detail and has a plan when it comes to consummating it with a new lady (and his partners are ladies). He knows he has to get married and have kids at some point, but aargh, he's just so BUSY.
Mortarion: I don't know.
Magnus: Prospero is a world where polyamory is the norm and people have family webs, not family trees. He has several wives and husbands and kids. Definitely does the whole psychic sex thing; you know when he's coming home with loving on his mind because you've been having orgasms out of the blue for the past half hour. Magnus is the one primarch I want to marry, but for his intellect and love of the occult, which I share.
Horus Lupercal: Bisexual AF, and has gone through 3/4 of the Custodes and Sisters of Silence in the Palace before he meets Sanguinius. After that, he's monogamous until Davin. Post-Davin, he's fucking Erebus and you cannot convince me he wasn't banging Petronella Vivar either.
Lorgar: This boy is messed up. He covers his sexual dysfunctions in celibacy. It's Kor Phaeron's fault.
Vulkan: Open and friendly like Russ. I don't know him very well because I can't stand Nick Kyle's writing and so my takeaways are all from fanfic! He and Russ compete to be the best huggers.
Corvus Corax: Totally married to Nasturi Ephrenia. Bisexual, but hasn't acted on it yet. Eventually will, probably with Vulcan.
The Twins: I am not ready for that conversation yet.
79 notes · View notes
yaysof11037 · 2 years
Text
Help my brain decided to think this up—guess you could count this as another ChocoHerb incorrect quotes post (also I’ve received a nice ask about my ChocoHerb headcanons that I will finish up typing eventually! Been on a family vacation for a bit)! Based on the iconic video, The Heavy Is Dead;
The Prince Is Dead (A Shitpost)
Choco: (hums while walking down the street)
Choco: “It’s a good day to be not dead.” 😌
BANG!
Affogato: “HA! You are DEAD!”
Choco: “I AM DEAD!” (dies)
Affogato: lol
Cacao: (walks towards the scene)
Affogato: “Ah shit.” (Poorly hides weapon)
Cacao: “OH! The prince is DEAD!”
Choco: “Yes. I AM DEAD!”
Cacao: (unsheathes sword) “WHY is the prince DEAD?!”
Affogato: (playing dumb) “I dunno.”
Choco: “I think it was—
Cacao and Affogato: “SHH! You are DEAD!”
Choco: “Okay!” :D
Caramel Arrow Cookie (hops into frame) “WHAT’S UP YA WANKERS? Who’s up for a—AH! What the bloody hell just happened?!”
Cacao and Affogato: “The prince is dead.”
Cara: “The prince is DEAD?!”
Cacao: “Correct!” >:D
Cara: :D
Cacao: “So… did you see the murderer?”
Cara and Affogato: “Nope. Sorry Your Majesty.”
Cacao: (holds up sword menacingly) “I will find him. I will capture him. And no one will ever die again!”
Affogato: “Ah. Well that’s nice.”
Cara: “I’m DAMN proud right now!”
(Applause intensifies)
Crunchy Chip Cookie (marches in): “ATTEEeeEeEeEEeNTION! The prince is DEAD!”
Cacao: “We know.”
Chip: “Who killed him?!”
Cacao: “We don’t know.”
Chip: “I will find clues!”
(Sniffs ground until he finds Affogato’s staff)
Chip: “What’s that? A WEAPON?! That thing is why the prince is DEAD!”
Affogato, Cacao, and Cara: “The prince is DEAD?!”
Chip: “Yes!” (Slams ground) “HE DIED!”
Affogato, Cacao, and Cara: *GASP!*
Herb (from far away): “IIIiIINCOMIIiiNG!!!”
Chip: (gets hit by Herb’s ambulance that he has for some reason and dies)
Herb: (hops out) “Stay back everyone! I know exactly what to do! MOVE! NOW!”
Everyone: (moves)
Herb: (kisses Choco’s lips gently)
Choco: (rises) “HA HA HA HA! I—(explodes)
Herb: “In my medical opinion my HUSBAND Is DEAD!”
Cara: “Herb! What happened?!”
Herb: “My professional opinion?” (Slams ground) “MY HUSBAND WAS KILLED!!”
Everyone: (PANIK)
Herb: “I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.” :D
Cara: “Well… now what?”
Milk: (dashes in) “CLIPPITY CLOP MOTHERFUCKERS!!”
Cara: “OH COME ON!”
Milk: “LOOKATTHIS! The freakin prince is dead!”
Everyone: …
Milk: “What do y’all think of that?”
Everyone: …
Milk: “Um…”
Cacao: “Yes, yes… Milk, was it?”
Milk: “Yeah!”
Cacao: “GO HOME!”
Milk: “AW COME ON!” (Hops in car that he has for some reason) “freakinunbelievablenoseriouslyyouallsuck” (crashes and dies)
Cacao: “Let’s get back to the point—
Choco: (points to his corpse) “I think the prince is dead.”
Everyone: “THE PRINCE IS DEAD?!”
Herb: (sees Milk’s corpse) “Milk, I will heal you—!” (Explodes)
Choco: “Oi! Seriously! Who killed Choco?!”
Yam (drinks juice) “IT WAS ME!”
Everyone: (gasps)
Yam: “YES! I did it like THIS!” (Gets mace out)
Cara: (gets hit by mace and dies)
Yam: “WOOP DEE DOO!”
Affogato: (reaches out to Cara dramatically)
Yam: (drinks juice) “That’s a joke, lads.”
Affogato, Cacao, and Choco: LMFAO
Yam: (drinks even more juice) “It was yo—(burp)
HIM!” (Points to Affogato)
Cacao and Choco: *GASP!*
Affogato: “H-how did—?!”
Yam: “Y’know… I didn’t. That was a joke too.” (Drinks a comically large amount of juice and dies).
Affogato: (laughs maniacally) “THAT’S RIGHT! IT WAS ME!”
Cacao: “YOU MONSTER!!”
Choco: “BUT WHY?!”
Affogato: “Because you are fat, Your Highness. And also, you are ugly.”
Choco and Affogato: (childish arguing)
Cacao: (looks at both of them and shrugs to himself)
Choco: “AFFOGATO!!!”
Affogato: “AHH DAMMIT CHOCO! FUCK OFF! YOU ARE DEA—!”
Choco: “NO U!” (Stabs Affogato)
Affogato: (dies)
Choco: (stands over his body triumphantly) “HAHA! You are DEAD! Not a big surprise.” 😎
Cacao: “Well… that was idiotic. Time to throw myself off my tower! Watch and lea—!” (Falls and dies)
Choco: “I AM ALIVE! It feels nice.” 😌
Choco: (looking over the sea of corpses before him. All because of the death he defied)
Choco: “Yes… this was stupid.” 😑
14 notes · View notes
brett-writes · 2 years
Text
Corpse: Defending Sykkuno on Twitter is no longer enough. I need a knife.
162 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
I posted 6,222 times in 2022
That's 276 more posts than 2021!
570 posts created (9%)
5,652 posts reblogged (91%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
chemical-abscess
mdzsquoteoftheday
wangxian-on-repeat
jiaoji
twenty-orange-balloons
I tagged 1,184 of my posts in 2022
#mdzs - 562 posts
#mo dao zu shi - 532 posts
#original thots - 412 posts
#wangxian - 201 posts
#writing attempts - 106 posts
#wwx - 63 posts
#incorrect mdzs quotes - 36 posts
#mdzs incorrect quotes - 36 posts
#lwj - 14 posts
#same - 13 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#i honestly see lxc as an example of how lack of information/lack of depth of information and excessive trustworthiness can misguide someone
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Wei Ying has his fear of dogs, Lan Zhan deals with it the best he can by shooing the dogs away and he gets kisses in return plenty
But my personal headcanon is that both the fearsome Yiling Patriarch and his illustrous Hanguang-Jun have a shared fear/disgust of spiders
Fierce corpses, ghosts, ancient beasts? Fair game.
Spiders?
Nah, they don't fuck with that.
"Lan Zhan, you saw it first, you deal with it."
"No."
"What do you mean no?! Aren't you my husband? You're supposed to protect me!"
"Mn. But you are also my husband, so, likewise."
"This is ridiculous. You're Hanguang-Jun, the Second Jade of Lan. That's just a stupid spider!"
"You are also the Yiling Patriarch, the grandmaster of demonic cultivation."
"Lan Zhan, come on, we can't stay up on this table forever. Just kill it!"
"Killing is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses."
"A whole lot of things we do are forbidden in the Cloud Recesses but that never stopped you before!"
"Mn."
"No 'mn'!! You have to do something about it and quickly, unless it..."
"Wei Ying?"
"The...the spider...I don't know where it is, it's gone!!"
"Gone?!"
(Sizhui comes to visit and finds his two most respected parental figures in battle stances, Chenqing is out, talismans float about and the two very graciously stand on their spiritual swords safely away from the floor.
Sizhui kills the spider.)
985 notes - Posted May 20, 2022
#4
"Ask me now, see if I would deny you anything." is the most romantic, erotic, emotional, heart-wrenching, devotion-filled, loving sentence I have ever read and I will never recover from it
1,030 notes - Posted March 11, 2022
#3
AITA for getting punched in the face?
So I (16, M) am betrothed to a girl (16, F) I don't really like but my mom and her mom made the arrangement before we were born and neither of our dads (or us) get much say in this because our moms are scary.
Anyway, I really don't like this girl. She's just average and the only reason we're supposed to marry is because our moms are sworn sisters and we're from powerful, noble families. Not to brag, but I'm exceptionally good-looking and highly skilled, and I don't think a girl so meek and ordinary would be fit for me at all.
I don't see the point of hiding my disdain for her. Anyone with a good pair of eyes can see how different I am from her and there is no point in me pretending I feel any different about her.
To preface, I don't think I'm the asshole and I want to prove I'm not the only one who thinks that.
Onto the story:
Some friends were talking about pretty girls and such, and since I don't necessarily care for those discussions, I kept silent. One of them then mentioned I am not saying anything because I am already in love with my forced fiancee and see no other girls as interesting.
I simply responded like I did above: that I find her unappealing and she's not at all my type. Which prompted her almost-brother (long story, but the guy isn't even adopted in the family, just hangs out around them and somehow ended up as head disciple) to punch me in the face. Hard.
I am not weak at all but the hit took me by surprise and led to me walking around with a swollen face for several days. The guy got punished but not without him and my fiancee's actual brother both calling me an asshole.
Could you all convince them I am NTA once and for all?
Edit 1: To update you all, I actually did marry my fiancee (not resulting from the arranged marriage, it was annuled and then we ended up falling in love on our own) and she's an amazing, kind and beautiful person with whom I am going to have a son in a few months.
I was an arrogant, annoying, entitled, incel-esque piece of shit two years ago but thankfully, I got better and am on the way of becoming a decent person and hopefully a good father!!
I love my wife very much and I regret I didn't treat her right from the start, but I now have the rest of my life to make it up to her although I know she has already forgiven me anyway.
Growth is a wonderful thing and I think everyone should embrace it. I used to really hate my life and resent my parents for the environment they have raised me in as an arranged marriage couple that was never really happy. I thought the same would happen to me and I projected all of that onto my wife for no reason - but now I am happily married and feel so loved and appreciated that I can't help but model after my wife's kindness and good character.
Edit 2: My son just came into the world a few days ago. He is happy and healthy and I am fighting with my wife about who gets to hold him more!! I can't wait for his one month celebration, I'll try to make up with my wife's brothers and make sure my son has all his uncles in his life! I'll update you all with pictures after the event!
Last updated: 15 years ago
1,304 notes - Posted July 31, 2022
#2
Wangxian is like
WWX, perfectly capable of defending himself: Lan Zhaaan save me!!
LWJ, perfectly aware that WWX can defend himself: *saves him with no hesitation*
And then they kiss
1,652 notes - Posted September 3, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Wei Ying is a trophy wife icon
Does not have a job
Husband pays for everything
Spends time with the kids all day
Gets dicked down silly every day
Can focus on his hobbies and interests without needing to work
Is insanely pretty
1,914 notes - Posted July 28, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
5 notes · View notes
spacefuneral · 11 months
Text
hello i am high and have some thoughts to share
best youtubers to listen to when you're high and having someone talk to you feels good on your brain
markiplier... this one is controversial but literally i fall asleep to his 3 scary game videos and stay asleep zzzzzz his voice is Very lovely
drew gooden. he speaks very gently and is also probably the funniest youtuber imvho. i have gotten many of my neurodivergent friends in on him because you don't gotta be high to experience his calming nature.
jenny nicholson. she is very articulate and has a sweet lil voice and listening to her is kind of like listening to a friend tell you about something they found both good and bad. i also like listening to people read and she has a lot of book videos (~:
JCS - Criminal Psychology (u can tell i copy/pasted this one because it's not all lowercase). very informative about human behavior in relation to crime and death. he's also really articulate and just sounds friendly. like a news anchor you can't help but like.
hbomb. good lil lad. definition of friendly. he wants to tell me something and i'm listening and i am learning.
good youtubers to listen to, they'll do it but not as soothingly
jordan adika. he's so smexy.................................. his voice is so nice...................... but i rarely care about what he's watching. like, he makes fun of jubilee and reality tv and that stuff really bores me. but i still watch him
ted nivision. sounds friendly but also in a forced sort of way that makes him feel untrustworthy. his biggest biggest biggest flaw is that he has these "incorrect history of" videos and they love to autoplay and i use autoplay because im high and not going to find a new video, fuck that. play for me, youtube. "yes m'lord... here's Incorrect History of Burgers." spits. i do not want to be lied to, mr ted, i want to laugh AND learn.
danny gonzalez. his music is great! i love his videos. feels more like a business relationship than a friendship tho. he ends his movie videos too quickly ):
bad youtubers to listen to
corpse husband's creepypasta channel.................. like listening to that one kid in school that always volunteered to read but had the worst cadence you've ever fuckin heard. like listening to the opposite of a news anchor, made to make you uncomfortable.
???
Dev Lemons???? :/ ??????? i watched her whole video library and subbed and i...??????? ?? :\ hmmmmmmmm
0 notes
solarissantaella · 1 year
Text
Lemon Squares in All Dimensions, NaNoWriMo Excerpt #4
Susan, Sharon, Karen. Yes, they are all dead. I saw them die. I killed them with my lemon squares. I did not intend to, but I am not sorry I did. They were loathsome women, officer. Their loss will not impact the world in any measurable way.
No, that is incorrect. Perhaps the upscale home goods boutiques they frequent in the middle ring will struggle to move units of their cranberry-ombre decorative linen table napkins, and cafes will suddenly find themselves with an abundance of fall spice fritters grown cold in their own grease by the end of the day. Less special event-price tickets will be sold on Broadway when the annual revival night comes around. 
New shows never evince much interest among the suburban set, but revival nights– oh, yes, how they gather and gawk at those holograms of the long-dead, sobbing at recorded voices. They do not know if the recordings are genuine, but I suppose they do not care. It is not verisimilitude that interests humans, particularly females of the species– only softness and sentiment. I know that they are showcasing Michael Crawford this year; his computer-rendered corpse will grace the stage, but, in the swooning audience, there will be a few empty seats. That is the impact of my crime. 
Oh, and I suppose the children will miss their mothers. Few children are as fortunate as Our Child, who had a father intelligent, thoughtful, and generous enough to construct a replacement mother when the first became unsuitable. 
No, I am not the first. I am My Husband’s second wife. She came first– The Other Sara. 
1 note · View note
joeyskattebo · 2 years
Text
Through the Web part 9
Aitzaz but not as much as I loved Abdul ………our marriage was anything but perfect, we fought constantly both physically, and emotionally.  But we stayed together for sixteen years hahaha……guess because we were both afraid of being lonely. Even when we made each other miserable, we knew we would be even more miserable on our own. Neither of us wanted children, and thankfully I was barren, so that solved that problem haha. I don’t care really that he caused this………..I’m more at peace than I ever was.” Mr. Jamali actually was caught for his crime, and brought into custody when the neighbors called the police because of all the shouting they heard. When the police arrived they saw Mrs. Jamali’s messy corpse on the curb, and immediately posted a guard to secure the area, and called the coroner.  They talked to the neighbors who called the police, and then were directed to the Jamali’s apartment where they found an angry and drunk Mr. Jamali, as well as a broken window where Mrs. Jamali obviously fell to her death. Now where Mrs. Jamali was correct, was in perceiving that she was killed by her husband, and where she was incorrect about her husband’s other activities. Mr. Jamali was just an ordinary angry drunk, and his wife was the first and only person he killed.  You see Mrs. Jamali was a schizophrenic, and an untreated one at that. Although she had feminist ideologies and supported the independence of Pakistan from Great Britain, she was never involved in the movement. Her involvement was all a dream unfortunately; when she was a teenager old she was severely beaten by her father, and was put her in a coma for three years where she dreamed she fought for women’s rights, in the Pakistani Feminist movement of the thirties. After she got out of the coma she resumed her life like it never happened. To her, her dreams were real; like her perception of her husband as a serial killer. Fatima didn’t believe she ever was in a coma, to her she was an activist, a fighter for people’s rights; a noble person. Benazir and Abdul were dreams as well, just fragments of her imagination; extensions of herself. The truth is she was a lonely
0 notes
Text
Sykkuno: Why are people so obsessed with being a top or a bottom?
Sykkuno: I'd be glad to just have a bunkbed.
Jack:
Corpse:
Valkyrae: I'm gonna tell him.
Corpse: Don't you fucking dare.
6K notes · View notes