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#incorrect cql

[loud thud]

Wei Wuxian:

Nie Huaisang:

Wei Wuxian: there’s a very logical explanation for that

Nie Huaisang: tell me quick

Wei Wuxian: this place is haunted

Nie Huaisang:

Nie Huaisang: thanks a lot

58 notes · See All

Teenage, totally-not-in-denial LWJ: “You can hate people and still think they’re hot.”

-

LWJ staring at the newly reappeared Yiling Patriarch:

“Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac.”

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Teenge LWJ, after calling WWX shameless for the umpteenth time: “It’s a joke. I was insulting him. You know, flirting.”

-

LWJ right before every banquet ever: “I’m fine at parties. I just stand in the middle of the room and don’t say anything.”

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WWX looking after his drunk husband: “Wait, is that a smile I see?”

LWJ sporting extremely red ears: “Possibly. My immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.“

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Chief Cultivator LWJ, interrupting a rambling sect leader: “Thank you, Sect Leader. Your entire life is garbage.”

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LJY composing a report to send to Gusu: “Hangjuang-jun, is there anything you want to tell your brother?”

LWJ: “Mn. Tell him I said-” *raises head a little*

LJY: “You want me to write that you nodded slightly?”

LWJ: “He’ll know what it means.”

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LWJ internally panicking while comforting crying toddler LSZ for the first time: “Your sadness is noted.”

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LWJ roasting Su She: “You’re so good at being lame and I’m not.”

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LWJ looking fondly at WWX: “I didn’t understand why people care so much about their dumb husbands until I got a dumb husband myself.”

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LWJ, constantly: “It’s very embarrassing, having feelings.”

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LWJ listening to his brother talk about JGY: “Mn. That’s the guy you said the boring stuff about. Like he’s a good listener.”

 LXC, mildly offended: “Sorry, what do you look for in a guy?”

LWJ: “I don’t know, real stuff. Like the shape of his ass.”

49 notes · See All

Wei Wuxian, comes up to Lan Wangji and hugs him tightly

Lan Wangji, confused: Is this a fight? Are we gonna fight?

Lan Qiren: This is…their handshake.

Lan Wangji: I don’t like it.

Lan Qiren: No one does.

46 notes · See All

*during a random Gusu funeral *

Wei Wuxian: *standing next to his husband and in-laws while staring fixedly at the coffin and fingering his flute* Hey, anyone want to hear a wonderful misinterpretation of the Shroedinger’s cat theo-

Lan Qiren: *scandalized* Wei Wuxian!

Lan Xichen: *smiling nervously* Master Wei, I really don’t think this is the time.

Lan Wangji: *whipped as ever* Let him finish.

Wei Wuxian: *trying and failing to look demure and not like he’s having the time of his life* No, no, they’re probably right. It was going to be wildly inappropriate. *winking at Lan Wangji* I’ll tell you later.

72 notes · See All
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