Damian: Todd, where are you going?

Jason: Well, that depends, Damian. When I die again, probably Hell, but right now I’m going to the bathroom.

Damian: What do you do in 'Among us'?

Tim: You run around and kill people.

Jason: YEAH MURDER!!

Dick: MURDER SPREE, THERE IS AN IMPOSTER AMONG US.

Bruce: This is a chruch, please STOP.

dick: you disgust me

tim, eating a kit-kat vertically: i know and i don't care

Dick: We’re going to use impulse control, which is the practice of controlling one’s impulses.

Dick: For instance, I look down and I see that roach down there and I tell myself, I can’t eat that.

Wally: Do I need to slap you in the face?

Bruce: Christmas is cancelled

Clark: You can’t cancel a holiday

Bruce: Keep it up Kent and you’ll lose New Years too

Clark: What does that even mean?

Bruce: That’s it, Alfred take New Years away from Clark

under the red hood

bruce: let me see what you have

jason: a GUN!

bruce: NO!!!

Dick, standing by the Christmas tree: Here comes Batman, Here comes Batman, right down-

Bruce: I will cancel Christmas

Dick:

Dick: He’s a mean one, Mr Wayne-

Civilian, after being saved: Spoiler, Red Robin, you're the best vigilantes in the world!

Tim: I don't know why we don't hear that more.

Stephanie: What I don't know is how he could be so right about me and wrong about you.

Batman: A fun fact about me is that i’ve never been relaxed, ever.

Dick, age 11: Can I come to the active crime scene?

Bruce: Yeah, sure. Why not?

Dick: Okay, stakeout! You know the rules, right?

Tim *deadpan*: If I get tired, I wake you up.

If I see anything suspicious, I wake you up.

If I see any minor criminal activity, I wake you up.

If I see a criminal that isn't Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, or Catwoman, I wake you up.

If I see Joker, I take the crowbar from the backseat, call Jason, enact vengeance with him, then wake you up after so you have deniability.

Dick: No, that's not-

Tim: Almost forgot, if I see a single redhead who's around your age, I wake you up.

Damian: Carpe diem.

Jon: Fish of the day?

Therapist: On a scale from 1-10, rate your pain.

Tim: pi, a minimal but a never ending number.

Therapist: What the actual f*ck.

Billy: When I first joined the League I was terrified they were gonna find out that I'm just pretending to be an adult. But then as time went on, I discovered that they were all also pretending.

Billy: They aren't also all kids that can transform into adults, they just don't know what they're doing either.

Billy: So now I'm even more terrified because apparently grown ups are just as lost and confused as everyone else and no one understands anything.

*Jason and Dick are at a bar and a drunk guy misinterprets their conversation*

Drunk guy: Oh, so you’re saying you want to fight?

Dick: That’s a huge leap in logic.

Drunk guy: You want to fight?

Jason: Yeah!

Full credit to the creator @ ThePandaRedd on TikTok who actually made this video (if he contacts me to take this down I will) but I couldn’t just not post yet another golden video of his after watching it...

damian: how are you so stupid. were you dropped as a baby?

tim: ha

tim: you think i was held?

this is my formal request for dc to make an animated batfam series

Jason: We have all the right tools to subvert our target.

Tim: What tools?

Jason: Oh, Dick's maturity, your optimism, and my diplomatic skills.

Tim: ... We're doomed.

Green Arrow: You look like shit.

The Question: Excuse me?

Green Arrow: you look like shit

The Question, sarcastically: And you look as beautiful as ever. Jesus.