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#incorrect dc quotes

jason: i can’t go on patrol today

bruce: what- why not?

jason: i’m busy

bruce: doing what exactly???

damian: come along todd it’s time for cheese viking night

bruce: wait what?!?

jason: jealousy doesn’t look good on you bitch

bruce: i’m not-

jason: not you. *gestures to dick*

dick: *sobbing as he puts on the nightwing suit*

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[Killer Croc just beaten up Kyle and took his Green Lantern ring]

Kyle: Man, why y'all didn’t help me?!

Roy: Man, I’m high.

Kyle: Man that’s fucked up! If that were y'all, I woulda helped y'all.

Jason: What ‘bout the time he tried to choke me in Roy’s backyard?

Roy: Yeah?

Kyle: Oh, that was different.

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Tim: Why are people so obsessed with “top or bottom”?

Damian: Honestly, I’m just excited to have a bunk bed.

Jason: Umm, I’m pretty sure Timbo was talkin bout sex. What are you, 12 or somethin?

Damian: What the fuck is sex?

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Talia: It's so frustrating living around my father.
Talia: Like, every time he dies he just... doesn't.
Talia: I remember back when I actually mourned him when he was dying. I was so naive.
Talia: Now, I just kind of sit there, waiting for him to get revived. Why go through all that grief when he's just gonna come back anyway?
Talia: Sometimes it takes a while for him come back, though. Then I just sort of say "Come on, Father. What's taking you so long?"
Talia: Oh, and I usually also end up saying "Why is everyone looking at me like that?" right after.
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teacher: hello mr. wayne i need to speak to you about your sons most recent assignment

bruce: oh uh yes of course

teacher: well i’m looking at it here, and the question is “give one example of fairness and one of equality to show the difference” and your son has written “stab everyone in the room once” as equality and “give varying levels of painful deaths based on their negative actions” under fairness

bruce: goddammit jason no more tutoring sessions

jason: BUT IS HE WRONG THO

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