jason: dude! so last night i found this great sandwich shop
tim: really! how’d ya find it i feel like we’ve been everywhere in gotham!
jason: well you see, i was on the corner of fifth and blueberry avenue bleeding out and i needed to wrap my wound and i saw this bench!-
bruce: wait say that first bit again?
jason: corner of fifth and blueberry ave, lemme write it down for you… anyways, the guy has the most fantastic honey glazed ham i mean lemme walk you through the flavor combo god damn!
dick: ready for trick-or-treating dami?
damian: i cannot wear this i physically cannot
jason: dude, you have to, think of the look on bruce’s face
tim: get out here kid it’ll be hilarious
jon: cmon dami i bet it isn’t that bad!
damian, exits his room in a kids Superman costume: i- we are never doing this again. GRAYSON PUT THE CAMERA AWAY
Jason: *Is out looking for Tim and describing him to Roy to help find him* Well, he’s short, he has dark hair, and- *Very loudly* -He hates this Kryptonian named Kon.
A nearby bush: No, he doesn’t.
Kori: Where’s Jason?
Roy: We just stepped out of the shower. He’ll be here in a minute.
Kori: Okay wel- wait. Did you say “we”?
Roy: I said he.
Jason: *Looks at his phone* My phone’s dying.
Jason: My computer’s dying.
Jason: *Looks at Roy* Your phone’s dying. What else is dying?
Jason: Also my will to live.
Roy: Jaybird… No…
New York with Spider-Man: this is our friendly little guy spidey he helps us out around queens and we love him so much
Gotham with batman: this is batman he’s some weirdo in a mask who turns up beat to hell in a dumpster twice a week and if anybody says anything bad about him we’re coming for your kneecaps
Something tells me either Kara’s sleeping on the couch tonight or Lena is paying the DEO a visit…
Jason: White people be like.
Tim: *Looking around* Dick? Where are you?
Jason: Black people be like.
Duke: *Running away* FORGET DICK! DICK IS DEAD!
Bruce: I can’t find my things!
Jason: I can’t find my things either! You know what it is?
Bruce: Your dignity??
Robin!Jason: I’m an ugmo!
Bruce: That’s not true. You’re cute as a bug’s ear.
Robin!Jason: Fathers have to say that stuff.
Bruce: Dad, am I as cute as a bug’s ear?
Alfred: No! You’re homely as a mule’s butt!
Bruce: There, see?
Robin!Jason in one photo:
Dick: *Is trying to loosen up a tight jar lid for Damian*
Jason: Lemme see it. *Opens it easily*
Dick: I loosened it for you.
Jason: You loosen up a couple of brain cells.
Jason: Why did you dump nine pounds of coffee grounds on my bed, Replacement?
Tim: You weighed it?
Batman trying to find a movie to watch for movie night.
Tim: The Little Mermaid or The Hunchback of Notre Dame?
Jason, jumps onto the table holding Batsis above his arms: SANCTUARY! SANCTUARY!
Bruce: *sighs* fine.
bruce: what. the. FUCK. happened.
jason: you want the short or the long?
bruce: short i guess
jason: long story short i’m alive, tim’s alive, so it all worked out
bruce: more detail. now.
jason: i continued to breath the entire time tim only stopped breathing for a few seconds
tim: I ACCIDENTLY ALMOST DROWNED TO DEATH AND JAY REFUSED TO GIVE ME MOUTH TO MOUTH SO IM PRETTY SURE I LITERALLY MET GOD OR SOME SHIT BUT ITS FINE
jason: i wasn’t wearing socks you can’t kiss the homies without socks on
tim: SO YOU WERE GONNA LET ME DIE DUMBASS
bruce: are we ignoring the fact you almost drowned?!?!?
tim: potaytoes potahtoes
Duke: Has anyone ever stopped to wonder why we’re still alive?
Damian: Oh, yeah.
Jason: All the time.
Dick: By all likelihood, we shouldn’t be.
Everyone: How are you not dead?
Jason: I have no idea.
Jason: Don’t you have to go be obnoxious somewhere else?
Roy: Not until four.