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#incorrect deadpool quotes
ladylokilaufeyson5 · 3 months
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Daredevil, about Spiderman: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.
Deadpool: Are we stealing them?
Y/N: New or used?
Daredevil: Wonderful responses, both of you.
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Wade: Do you want the burnt cookie pieces from the pan?
Matt: …
Matt: Do they taste good?
Wade: God no, I would rather remove my arm with a spoon than eat these.
Matt: Then why do you think I’d want them?
Wade: You just seem like the kind of guy who likes to make himself unhappy
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Deadpool in a snare: we can of something
Spiderman: ok let’s play, I see with my little eye
Spiderman: someone who wears red and black and doesn’t know when to shut up
Deadpool: is it me?
Spiderman: it’s always you.
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Peter: I can’t believe we have to be stuck in this room together!
Wade, swallowing the key: Truly unfortunate.
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kaethefangirl · 3 months
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Wade: They don't call me the Merc with the Mouth for nothin'!
Peter & Matt: We know.
Matt: God, do we know.
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headcanonthings · 8 months
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Wade: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows
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volos-wish · 12 days
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Me when slowly having an epiphany while on a mission with Deadpool:
Wade a minute....
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Wade: Everybody shut up, I'm thinking.
Y/n, patting them on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.
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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years
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Peter: hey, if tacos can fall apart and still be amazing, then so can everyone!
Tony: KID! IT WASN'T A METAPHOR! HE IS LITERALLY FALLING APART! HE IS IN PIECES! ON THE SIDE WALK!
Wade: Hey! What? You don't think I can be amazing like a taco? Well I'm gonna be a taco even harder!
Tony: HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!?
Wade: OH! So now you're doubting my skills?
Peter: I think you're doing great Mr deadpool!
Wade: thank you petey-pie, at least SOMEONE believes in me
Tony: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?
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marvellyous-archive · 2 years
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Wade: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Peter: It takes a screenshot.
Matt: For the love of god, shut the fuck up.
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primewritessmut · 2 years
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SPIDER-MAN: I don’t have a bisexual bone in my body.
DEADPOOL: You sure? Because I’d let you put your bisexual bone in my body.
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bitrashteddy · 2 years
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Peter: I am in a... situation
Wade: What situation?
Peter: I spent the entire weekend writing fanfiction instead of studying for my exams or doing any of the things on my to do list and now I'm officially losing my fucking mind- I'm so done for
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wrongwadewilson · 2 years
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[-at a fast food joint-]
Peter B.: Wade,
Peter B.: [gets down on one knee, opens a small box]
Peter B.: do you want my last chicken nugget?
Deadpool, on the verge of tears: I thought you'd never ask!
Miles: I GOT SO SCARED FOR A SECOND HOLY F—
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“okay listen up here i don’t wanna hear your idiots voice unless the fuckin’ world is on fire!”
_ Daredevil after the first time with the red team.
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Wade: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Peter: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Wade: Yes 😉
Peter: I'd sleep.
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wolpertingerprompts · 2 years
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Wolverine: "Get lost."
Deadpool: *shrugs* "Sure, whatever you want."
Deadpool: *starts looking around frantically* "Oh god, where am I?! Somebody help me!"
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