#incorrect death eater quotes

[incorrectbella]

Voldemort: Severus, how long do you estimate this task will take? Snape: By myself? probably around 25 minutes. Voldemort: And if I made Bellatrix and Lucius help? Snape: Oh an hour and a half at least!

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[m00nagegaydream]

Voldemort: Narcissa, where is Lucius?

Narcissa: He says he's having a bad hair day, My Lord.

Voldemort: Tell him to get his ass over here. At least he HAS hair.

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[regulusblock]

Regulus, on his hotel room balcony: *sneezes*

Barty, on his room balcony above him: Bless you

Regulus: God????

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[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Snape: The kids get worse and worse every year, but people keep making them.

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[wild-flowerhoney]

death eaters what we do in the shadows au (which is just. a documentary au if we want to be picky ig)

evan: the dark lord wants to conquer the world, which sounds like a good idea at first.

regulus: but after the first week you just start thinking "why am i doing this?" and there's no good answer really.

barty: yeah, it gets boring FAST.

regulus: of course it's a trap! why would the dark lord want to go on a stroll through muggle london?!

evan: to see how much of it we've conquered! and when he finds out that it's just grimmauld place he's going to kill us!

barty: well if you think he's gonna "QUACK" us then maybe we should "QUACK" him first.

regulus: you want us to "quack" him?

barty: if you think he's gonna do it first then yes!

evan: let's not discuss this any further, someone could hear us.

regulus: also, can he even die?

bellatrix: i heard them plotting to murder you, my lord.

barty: she speaks the bullshit!

regulus: we simply floated the idea, my lord.

bellatrix: you didn't float it, you plotted it!

evan: plotting and floating are very similar, to be fair.

*door slams open, all three scream*

peter: oh- i didn't-

barty: are you happy now, pettigrew? you just scared the shit out of all three of us.

regulus: so you don't knock anymore? hmm? is this the new you?

evan: this fucking guy-

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[chocoramo-cow]

Lucius: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Snape, not bothering to look up from his book: who says I love you now?

Lucius: :(

#pro snape #severus snape #lucius malfoy #death eaters #snapedom #snucius #hp #incorrect quotes #incorrect hp quotes

[oasis-of-stars-4]

Regulus: I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.

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[chasingthestarss]

Barty: please stop forgiving me for my sins!

Barty: I worked hard for those!

#dead gay wizards #marauders era #marauders incorrect quotes #barty crouch jr #Barty is a mood #death eater Barty crouch jr #barty crouch junior

[crackishincorrecthp]

Death Eater, negotiating with Harry: We have the Malfoy kid. Give us ten thousand galleons and he will be returned to you unharmed Draco: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand galleons? Death Eater: Draco: MAKE IT ONE MILLION– Death Eater: YOU LITTLE BRAT, STOP IT! Harry: Harry: Lemme get this straight...You have my boyfriend and you want money? Are you even a real Death Eater?

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[depressed-sugar-baby]

*The squad is over at Narcissa's house*

Lucius: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Narcissa: ... N-No...

Narcissa, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Lucius, motioning to her kitchen: Three, I thought!

Bellatrix: I see a-

Narcissa, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Lucius: Oh, well I-

Narcissa: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Narcissa, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Regulus: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Severus: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Narcissa: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Narcissa: I am a woman who owns four ovens...

Narcissa, louder and way too happy: I am a woman... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Narcissa: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Lily, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Narcissa:

Lucius: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Narcissa:

Narcissa, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM A WOMAN WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

#chaotic death eaters #and lily #chaotic lily and snape friendship #pro snape #pro severus snape #severus snape #young snape #bellatrix black #young bellatrix #narcissa black #young narcissa #lucius malfoy #young lucius #regulus black #young regulus black #lily evans #young lily evans #incorrect snape quotes #incorrect hp quotes #incorrect quotes #source: scatterpatter's incorrect quotes generator #but also #source: markiplier

[incorrectbella]

Lucius: I have a bad feeling about this... Bellatrix: What do you mean? Lucius: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble? Bellatrix: No? Rodolphus: That actually explains so much.

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[ihaa-shika]

I love incorrect quotes

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[regulusblock]

Regulus: Describe yourself in one word

Barty: Yours.

Regulus, tearing up: Disgusting

Regulus: Say it again

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[overheard-at-hogwarts]

Snape: Okay class, this pop quiz is going to count for 90% of your final grade.

Harry: Uh, Professor, you forgot to give me a quiz...

Snape: That's right, because I've already graded yours, Potter.

Snape: *holds up a quiz marked with a 'T'*

Harry: You gave me a 'Troll' on a quiz I never took?!

Snape: That's right.

Ron: ...That is jank!

Snape: Life is jank!

#overheard at hogwarts #source: icarly #harry potter #hp #incorrect quotes #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hp quotes #severus snape #snivellus #the boy who lived #ron weasley #ronald weasley #golden trio #hogwarts professors #death eaters

[voidpugh]

"they were villains." so? they were looking good while doing it.

#harry potter #marauders #marauders era #marauders map #incorrect marauders quotes #regulus black #black family #regulus arcturus black #james x regulus #wolfstar #rosekiller #evan rosier #evan x barty #barty crouch junior #barty crouch jr #slytherin skittles #slytherin #death eaters #villains in love #they were perfect for each other #not gonna ask you what im gonna ship

[maraudersera-slytherins-1970s]

Evan Rosier: We all have our demons.

Evan Rosier, grabbing Barty Crouch Jr and Regulus Black : These are mine.

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