Wizard: A spy is giving away every one of our battle plans.
Rogue: You look surprised, Sorcerer.
Sorcerer: I certainly am. I didn’t realize we had any battle plans.
1K notes
·
View notes
SkekZok: I can’t believe you assassinated the All-Maudra!
SkekVar: Well, “assassinated” implies it was politically motivated. I killed her cause she was a dick, so technically it’s just murder.
SkekZok:
SkekZok: That’s not better!!
44 notes
·
View notes
Grian: Fifty percent of my job is making sure no one kills Scar, fifty percent is making sure Scar doesn't kill Scar, and fifty percent is making sure that I don't kill Scar.
Pearl:
Grian: My job is not easy.
467 notes
·
View notes
Hank: We all have our demons.
Nines&Connor, holding up Sixty: This one's ours!
205 notes
·
View notes
Up: So, Taz is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night. Why, you ask? Because I've caught her five times now trying to train the raccoons to fight.
Taz: You'll be thanking me one day when the third raccoon battalion saves your life
56 notes
·
View notes
Sorcerer: Nat20 for perception!
Dm: for what?
Sorcerer:.....to tell us whatever it is you've been hinting at
38 notes
·
View notes
Bucky: Racoons have people hands.
Bucky:...
Bucky:... Or do people have racoon hands?!
172 notes
·
View notes
GoldHeart: What are you doing?
Flug: Teaching 5.0.5. how to make pancakes.
GoldHeart: Why are teaching a bear how to make pancakes!?
Flug, shrugs: Because he doesn't know how to.
- HeroFlugAU
103 notes
·
View notes
Elendil: I can't do this without you, Míriel.
Míriel: Of course you can. Not as stylishly, of course.
6 notes
·
View notes
Peter: Whenever Derek gets mad at me, I tighten all the lids on our jars so they have to ask me for help.
[sounds of glass shattering in the background]
Peter: It hasn't worked yet, but it will.
29 notes
·
View notes
Parlax: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying “haven’t decided yet” is typically a good response.
7 notes
·
View notes
Druid: Sitting on and touching warm rocks............. now that's the good stuff.......
Ranger: Are you..... a reptile?
Druid: What are you, a cop? Mind your business
1K notes
·
View notes
Seungkwan: Okay, if you’re going to go and meet people, you’re going to need some pick up lines.
Seokmin: Yes.
Seungkwan: Let’s practice. Hit me with the best you’ve got.
Seokmin: Uhh… you’re pretty?
Seungkwan: I know. Now come on, pick up lines.
37 notes
·
View notes
Impulse: Why do you smell like smoke?
Tango: I got set on fire twice!
Impulse: I thought you were fireproof
Tango: Nope! Just stubborn!
Impulse:
Impulse: Are you okay?
182 notes
·
View notes
Skye: I have weird survival instincts. I see a wolf. Do I know intimately all the ways it can kill me? Yes. Do I want to give it belly rubs and snoot boops? Also yes.
164 notes
·
View notes
Dominance
Barbarian: *Screams*
Bard: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
Wizard: Should we stop them?
Rogue: No, I wanna see who wins this.
56 notes
·
View notes