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#incorrect dnd class quotes
dndclassesquotes · a month ago
Bard: What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way? like I’m horny for halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin. you feel?
Rogue: ... Do you mean 'excited'?
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moonah-stona · 2 months ago
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Julian: I swear to god, the next one of you guys to say “weird flex but okay” is going to loose their kneecaps.
Thomas: Preposterous boast, but alas.
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incorrect-c-novels · 28 days ago
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Liu Qingge: I had a dream I was arrested for tax evasion, which is weird because I don't even pay taxes.
Shen Qingqiu:...That's what tax evasion is.
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 2 months ago
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Rogue: I poisoned someone's drink, but I forgot which one.
Paladin: You did WHAT?
Wizard: The way this dinner is going, I hope it's mine.
Warlock: *knocks back drink*
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incorrect-dnd-classes · a year ago
Paladin: ARE YOU--
Bard: Fucking
Paladin: KIDDING ME?
Cleric: ...what was that?
Bard: Paladin's oaths don't allow them to swear, so I volunteered to help out.
Cleric: I think you just like excuses to swear.
Bard: That doesn't make my job any less important.
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 2 months ago
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Artificer: Remember to always mix pills together and take as many as you feel like.
Artificer, later: 😶
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 10 months ago
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Paladin: Why would you give a knife to Warlock???
Rogue: They felt unsafe.
Paladin: Well, now I feel unsafe!
Rogue: Would you like a knife?
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 6 months ago
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[playing scrabble]
Bard: i will put down A to make A.
Monk: i will add a T to your A to make AT.
Druid: i will add an R to make RAT.
Wizard: i will add onto your RAT to make BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC.
Rogue: *flips the table* 
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 11 months ago
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Bard: Snake..... on..... me....
Fighter: Snake on me!
Bard: SNAKE...... ME...... ON!
Fighter: SNAKE ON ME!
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incorrect-dnd-classes · a year ago
Fighter: Recipe says to beat three eggs.
Barbarian: At what? Hand to hand combat?
Fighter: Must be. The Monk banned swords in the kitchen, remember?
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