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#incorrect dungeons and dragons
incorrect-dnd-classes · 17 minutes ago
Conversation
Rogue: You got tossed out too, huh?
Barbarian: Yeah, for yelling.
Rogue: You yelled in a museum? That is hardcore!
Barbarian: Why’d you get tossed out?
Rogue: Stole a pterodactyl. But it’s not like I yelled.
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incorrectbellimala · 9 hours ago
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Incorrect Belli Mala #731
Guard: Please sit in this chair. I'd like to ask you some questions.
Swin, whispering to Lamlis: Deny everything.
Lamlis: That's not a chair.
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incorrectbellimala · 13 hours ago
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Incorrect Belli Mala #730
Sam: It's my birthday, the most fun day of the year, something you wouldn't understand because you're not programmed to feel joy.
Swin: Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.
Sam: You know, when you play along with the robot jokes, it kinda ruins my enjoyment of them.
Swin: Yes, I know.
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 21 hours ago
Conversation
Wizard: Guys, we need a plan.
Gunslinger: Shoot everyone.
Wizard: One that goes further than shooting everyone.
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Conversation
Wizard: How do you tell someone their breath stinks without being rude?
Sorcerer: I’m bored, let’s drink mouthwash.
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incorrectbellimala · a day ago
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Incorrect Belli Mala #729
Sam: So apparently, feeling like something is about to go wrong is called 'anxiety' and not 'spider-sense'.
Swin: ... that explains so much.
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incorrectbellimala · a day ago
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Incorrect Belli Mala #728
Shaia: Look, I might not have been a saint, but it's not like I killed anybody. I wasn't an arsonist. I never found a wallet outside on the street and thought about returning it, but the owner lived outside of the city so I just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Isla: Okay, that's really specific and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.
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incorrectbellimala · a day ago
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Incorrect Belli Mala #726
Swin: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Sam: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Swin: It fucking sucks.
Sam: That’s not constructive criticism.
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Conversation
Paladin: Rogue, I told you this morning, no knives at the dinner table.
Rogue: You said the breakfast table.
Paladin: It’s the same table!
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Morgana: It’s not stealing. I’m just gonna borrow it!
Akechi: I’m not about to let you borrow the heart of a god. What do you think I am, stupid?
Morgana: Maybe!
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 2 days ago
Conversation
Wizard: Don’t. Say. A. Word.
Bard:
Bard: Fergalicious.
Wizard: I said no words!
Bard: Oh, I see how it is. Two weeks ago we’re playing Scrabble, it’s not a word. Now suddenly it’s a word because it’s convenient for you!
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incorrectbellimala · 2 days ago
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Incorrect Belli Mala #725
Swin: The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories.
Isla: Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences.
Swin: great clearly means different things for us.
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 2 days ago
Conversation
Paladin: There’s no “I” in team.
Warlock: But there is one in “Winning”.
Rogue: and in “Happiness”.
Wizard: And in “Imbeciles”.
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incorrect-dnd-classes · 3 days ago
Conversation
Sorcerer: How much of your personality is performative and how much is it you being you?
Bard: Baby, every me is me, we are the mask and the wearer.
Warlock: Speak for yourself! If you peel away enough of my overcoats there's nothing inside but a single dead rat and that's a fact.
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incorrectbellimala · 3 days ago
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Incorrect Belli Mala #722
Shaia: These candies are choking hazards.
Swin: Hmmm, for someone without a gag reflex I would have expected you to shove them down your throat without a second thought.
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